Amazing Grace
by baybie
Summary: She was used and abused. A lifetime later, she can't seem to break the habit. She's still a dirty little secret. What happens when she gets a lesson in real love? Can she let go of her past long enough to see what's right in front of her?
1. Chapter 1

**So, here I am. Many, many, MANY months overdue. And I have a dilemma. Due to my trying to actually write something and finish it before posting, I have a million unfinished projects because my mind always strays. I've decided I'm better off posting something so I feel guilty if I don't actually finish it. **

**And because I couldn't decide which story to publish, I've chosen two. I'm sorry if you notice any similarities (I'll try my best to weed these out before posting) but I was only going to post one story so... **

**There'll be plenty of sex and bad language in this one. VERY MATURE AND DISTURBING THEMES. It was very hard to write, but I got so angry after watching a documentary about it I just had to write something where I could control the fate of the monsters that do this. If easily offended, please don't read.**

**As always, I appreciate any reviews, constructive or otherwise.**

**And may I say I'm pregnant and very lazy at the moment. On a good day bedtime is about ten PM. On a bad one (and these come often) I'm in bed the same time I put my two year old to bed. Sorry, but this means I might take longer to update than before. I can't help it. I can no longer sit by my laptop until three am trying to get an update out. **

**DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Nothing in this story should be taken as truth in part or whole. ****Everything/everyone else is owned by World Wrestling Entertainment or by the individuals themselves, except my OCs. No copyright infringement intended. And I am not getting paid a single penny for this. If you sue, you'll only get the £0.50 in my purse. Sorry.**

* * *

They could all go screw themselves, the lot of them. Karen do this, Karen go there... and her name wasn't even Karen. It was Katrina Grace fucking Lang. How did someone confuse Katrina with Karen? It wasn't just one person calling her this, it was all of them. And the worst was that pathetic JBL. _Karen, go get me some water. Karen, take these down to wardrobe. Karen, carry my bag down to my car_. She felt like screaming. Didn't they have people actually employed to do these things for them? Carry his bags to his car? He was a six foot plus, over two hundred and fifty pounds chunk of man. Could he not carry his damned bags himself? Even if they didn't know her, surely that camera that hung constantly round her neck was a dead giveaway. She was noone's fucking gofer!

If only she could say all this to their faces. But she knew if she said anything she wouldn't be able to hold back. Then she'd have attention she definitely didn't need.

She was dressed in black, baggy boy jeans and a black WWE t-shirt with a woollen hat low on her head, as she sat with her equipment on one of the metal set cases. And she was hoping against hope that no one else would come up to her to ask for a _favour_.

She heard an irritating giggle and knew straight away who it belonged to. She tensed slightly; even though she knew she was practically invisible to everyone she worked with.

From her high vintage point, she watched as the dumb redhead came into view. She was with one of the new twins; she couldn't be bothered to recall her name.

"Yeah. He's going to be so grateful I'll practically own his ass tonight," Maria laughed as she threw her thick red hair back.

Slut!

"I still can't get over the fact that he's been faithful to you all this time. You've tamed the Legend Killer," Twiny laughed.

Orton faithful? Dumb bitch! If she gave a fuck she would have told them what was what, but she didn't. Not like that.

"What can I say? I guess I've got some good shit," Maria laughed.

It couldn't be that good if Orton came to her every chance he got! Rolling her eyes, Kat picked her equipment up and started polishing it. Survivor Series was airing in a little while, and Vince was counting on her to take some perfect shots of it for the WWE website and magazine.

"I've been looking for you everywhere, Kat."

She lifted her eyes to see the big man walking towards her with a Mc Donald's bag in his hand. Actually, compared to her, they were all big around here, but Hunter was impressive.

"Yeah? What's up?" she asked with a smile as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek.

It was funny how that came so easy now, all that affection.

She grabbed the bag out of his hand and quickly took the cheese burger out, biting into it before Hunter could say a word.

"How did you know I was starving?" she asked as she stuffed some fries in her mouth as well.

"I didn't. But I knew _I_ was starving," he said dryly.

"Then why didn't you buy anything for yourself, you idiot," she said, even though she knew what he meant.

She took another bite of the burger, chuckling when she saw his eyes follow it.

"So what do you want?"

To anyone else that would have sounded awfully rude, but she knew Hunter was used to it.

"I want you to come out with me tonight."

"Hunter___"

"Don't say no, Katrina. Vince gave you this job months ago but you haven't made an effort to make any friends at all," Hunter said. "I'm worried about you. It can't be healthy to want to keep to yourself so much."

"I _have_ made a friend___"

"That painted freaked doesn't count," Hunter cut in again. "You need to be around normal people."

"You wrestlers could hardly be called normal," she chuckled wryly. "And Jeff's the only one who's actually really talked to me the whole time I've been here."

"That's because you walk around like you've got a thorn up your ass! A smile goes a long way, you know."

"Please! These people don't see me, even if I'm all up in their faces. I might as well be part of the furniture," she said as she jumped down from the case and intentionally dumped her half eaten meal in the trash can next to the cases. "I could walk down this hallway completely naked and they wouldn't see me. And I couldn't give less of a shit!"

"Grace___"

He only called her by her second name when he thought she was being difficult.

"I'm not coming to the after party with you," she cut in as she grabbed her equipment. "All those egos in one room would fucking suffocate me!"

Hunter sighed because he knew he wouldn't win this argument.

"Well, meet me after the show in my locker room. Steph and I will give you a ride back to the hotel."

"Sure," she answered as she started to walk away from him. "And throw that damned book in the bin. How many times do you have to read it?"

"You should be proud of it, Kat," Hunter called out softly.

She missed the look on his face as he looked down at the hard covered book in his hand.

She didn't answer him as she turned the corner. Yeah, maybe she should have been a bit more proud of that book, but everytime she saw it, she didn't see how far she'd come like Hunter did when he read it. She saw everything she had lost.

So the more distance she put between her and that damned thing the better. It was six months now since it launched in many bookshops, thanks to Hunter and the McMahons, but she still didn't know how to feel about it, even if it was, for some reason, making her quite a lot of money. Her whole life was there in black and white, immortalised on paper for the whole world to read. And judge. She didn't do so well with being judged.

"Hey, Kitty Kat."

She looked up to see the colourful Enigma they called Jeff Hardy walking beside her.

"The hell did you come from? I've told you not to do that shit to me. I could have a knife next time; you won't even see it till you're bleeding to death at my feet."

"Like you could take me," Hardy laughed as he brought his large, tattooed arm around her shoulders.

"Pink?" she asked as she looked up, way up since he was 6'1" and she was only 5'4". "I told you I don't like pink."

He changed his hair colour every week; purple, blue, red... anything, really. He got away with it only because he was Jeff Hardy. Everything about him was unique. His personality, his views on life, everything. He didn't care about rules or conventions. She admired that a lot in him. Everything she wanted... the self assurance, the confidence... it all came so easy to him.

"I know," Jeff said as he smirked down at her. "So where're you goin'? Got time for a cup of coffee? We didn't get to talk when we got up this morning."

"Have you tasted the coffee in Catering? Tastes like cat piss!" she told him, her nose scrunched up in disgust.

"We'll go across the road, then. You know you get withdrawal symptoms when you don't get enough of your daily dose of Hardy."

She rolled her eyes even as she laughed at that.

"I'm sorry, Jeff. I have to work," she said with genuine regret. "I'll meet you at the hotel after, though."

"I have to work, too. I'm sure you can spare five minutes for poor old me."

"You call running into the ring to get knocked out after a minute working?" she chuckled. "I wish I had your job! Now run along, little boy, the grownups have real work to do."

Jeff just chuckled and tightened his grip around her briefly.

"Okay, no coffee then. You feel like going to the after party with me, though?"

"I've told you before, I'd have to have shit for brains to intentionally hang out with your people," she muttered.

"They're not all bad, Kat," he laughed.

"Well, noone's proved that to me yet."

"Katrina, five minutes," someone called out from the end of the hall.

"Gotta go, Hardy. I'll come to your room after I shower and change."

"Alright. Later, sweetheart."

* * *

Jeff watched her walk down the hallway to the gorilla position, adjusting her earpiece as she did. She was a weird girl. Coming from him that meant something.

She had this thing about always trying to blend in with the background, but he'd noticed her the second she had walked into the hotel with Hunter almost ten months ago. How could he not, when he'd never seen such deep sadness in anyone's eyes? Then Hunter had said something to her and her eyes had instantly lost their dead look, replaced by a twinkling brightness and a smile that had lit the whole room before she'd thrown her head back in laughter. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off her.

The artist in him had been instantly intrigued.

She had unusual looks, what with her being part Chinese, part black and part white. She always joked that she was probably part a million other ethnic groups, but when he asked her what she meant she always clamped up. She didn't like talking about herself much. That was cool with him, because he didn't like talking about himself either.

The moment he had seen that smile and those eyes, his fingers had itched to sketch her. She was an artist's wet dream; everything on her was perfectly proportional. The little button nose, the catlike eyes – which she'd got from her Chinese origins - that were usually a fascinating gray but sometimes seemed silver, the naturally full lips, the kind most women used botox to get, and the shape of her face... Just perfect. And back then she'd had the longest hair he'd ever seen – straight, jet black and all the way down to her waist. She'd since hacked it off though, to a short boyish cut that she claimed was easier to style. And by style she meant run her fingers through it like she didn't give a fuck. Which she didn't, really. He missed the long hair sometimes, but cutting it hadn't detracted one bit from her beauty.

Then there was her skin; from the creamy chocolate colour to the smooth, soft texture... He'd got his first chance to see her naked only a few months back. She'd finally relented to posing nude for him and he'd had to position her just the way he wanted her. Her skin had felt like silk. Since she preferred to wear baggy shit - much like all the clothes _he_ wore, all those hooded tops, baggy bottoms, three quarter shorts, etc - that had been the first time he'd got to see her generous curves. He'd been pleasantly surprised. Frankly, it was the little tattoo on the side of her flat stomach, Chinese symbol of hope, which had done it for him. Or maybe the dead rose tattooed on her upper thigh, with its thorny stem going round her lower thigh like a band. So full of surprises his little Kitty Kat was. The whole time the pencil had followed the smooth lines of her body on the paper, he'd asked himself why the hell she hid a body like that. It was only after they'd got over that hurdle that she'd allowed him certain liberties with her body; like the massages he gave her once in a while. Yes, she definitely had a surprisingly sexy little body. She could give those Divas a run for their money.

If they would just look at her. Really look at her.

He didn't get that. Even though she literally hid herself in her clothes, surely someone would have looked twice at her. Well, someone other than Orton. That stupid prick probably didn't give a shit what lay above her waistline. He was using her and she knew it, but still she stayed. He couldn't understand why. She was way too nice for a guy like that. Well, okay, maybe not nice. But she _was _too good for Orton.

With a sigh, he turned to walk back. His brother needed his help with something before his match.

"Hey, where've you been? I'm on in ten minutes," Matt called out.

Matt didn't know about Katrina yet. It wasn't that he'd think he was cheating on Angie or anything, but he'd been afraid Kat's name would pop up in a conversation while Angie was around. She was already riding his dick about his supposed infidelity while on the road and he didn't want his friendship with Kat to be jeopardised. Kat was the only person he could be himself around lately, which was surprising as they'd known each other less than a year. But he loved Angie too much and he didn't want to lose her, not when Kat would never be anything more than a friend.

No, Angie could never know about Kitty.

But he couldn't keep her a secret from Matt for much longer. He'd already run out of excuses to explain why he sometimes didn't sleep in his own bed at night. Matt was getting a bit suspicious, maybe if he met Kat for himself, he would realise he wasn't cheating on Angie at all. And maybe he could explain things and Kat would never need to pop up in any conversations they had at home.

All he had to do now was talk Kat out of being so damn antisocial.

"I was just getting some water," he lied as he walked up to his brother.

"Where is it?" Matt asked.

"I drank it," he said easily as he brushed past him into the locker room.

* * *

Hunter placed the book on his shelf and sighed. He'd asked her to call it 'Amazing Grace' and it was an apt definition of how her life had turned out, how she had won her battles and come out on top. She'd come through all that and he was proud of her. The way her own family should have been proud of her had they not been too engrossed in their own filthy lives to bother about her. It still made him angry that they were out there, living their lives as if Kat had never existed.

She'd been twelve the first time he'd met her. And he used the term loosely, since she'd actually broken into his home and made herself comfortable on his couch. She'd been sitting in the dark, staring out at nothing, wet and shivering from walking in from the storm that had been raging outside. He'd switched the lights on and almost had a heart attack when he'd seen her. But she hadn't said a word. She hadn't even moved from her spot the whole night. Her sad, dead gray eyes had followed him around the room, really freaking him out as he tried to figure out what to do with her. The storm had caused some disruption with the phone so he couldn't call the police, and he'd figured she wasn't a threat, anyway. Just tired, hungry and cold. He'd given her a towel and some of his old clothes, then made her something to eat, which she'd wolfed down before he'd even got a chance to sit down with his own meal. She hadn't been forthcoming with anything, even her name, but he could tell from just one look how rough she had it.

That night she'd slept on the couch, having refused to move to a bedroom. His plan was to call someone in the morning to get her, he'd just been starting to make a name for himself with the WWF then, and the last thing he'd wanted was some scandal with a little girl ruining his life. But she'd been gone before the crack of dawn. Till this day, he had no idea how she'd managed to get into his house, since no windows or doors had been forced open, but at the time he'd been so relieved that she'd gone.

He'd thought about her from time to time after that, wondering how such a young girl got into that state and if she had any family, but it hadn't been his problem so he hadn't worried about her much. Then a couple of months later, on a clear night, he'd come home from the road and seen her on his couch again. And as the last time, she'd been sitting in the dark. She'd looked worse than she had the first time and this had bothered him quite a bit. Was she homeless? Did she sleep in his house all the time when he was away? If so, why the hell wasn't she eating any of the food? She looked like just skin on bone, and her black hair was just matted and dirty. His phones were working that time, but he hadn't had the heart to throw her out. So he'd cooked for her again. That time, she took him up on his offer of a soak in the tub, after which she'd looked a lot better. But she'd still offered no words, still slept on the couch and had been gone come morning.

And so the relationship was built. She did this a few times, and it was only on the fifth or sixth visit that he'd heard her voice the first time. And only because he'd forced her. He'd threatened to call the police because he was really starting to worry about people talking. He'd given her a choice; her parents or the police. She'd chosen her mother, which had been reassuring because he thought at least she had someone looking out for her. But then he'd rung the woman, who'd told her that Katrina could look after herself because she was working and promptly hung up. So, not only had he learnt her name in that useless phone call, he'd found out Katrina's mum couldn't give less of a shit about her. She'd sounded drunk out of her mind, and he could only imagine what sort of work she was doing in that state.

That had made him so angry he'd told Katrina she could come to his house whenever she wanted. The next time he'd come home and seen her, he'd given her, her own key. And he'd made sure he stocked the fridge and had enough books and dvds lying around for her entertainment when he was on the road. He'd been pleased to find every single book marked and read every time he went back home. She'd slowly started opening up to him, not about the important stuff that he really wanted to know, but about other things. He'd found her to be very mature for her age, and very funny in her own freaky, warped way. Never an optimist, Kat, and of course, after speaking to her mother, he could understand why. She had a view about everything, most of it bleak, but a view never the less. After struggling to get her to talk the first few months, she'd started talking nonstop.

It had come to a point where he had expected her to be home when he got there. She'd still been a bit scary to some people, because she'd still done the freaky observing thing she'd done with him the first few months, not bothering to speak to anyone if she didn't know them and certainly not if she didn't like them. It had taken Shawn at least ten visits before she'd even said hello, and he was sure many months had flown by when she finally held a proper conversation with him. But she'd slowly endeared herself to Shawn, too, even if that fact irritated her to no end. She didn't like people. She certainly didn't bother with any of the social niceties that were expected of everyone else. And more often than not she was frank to the point of rudeness, which often caused some awkward moments. For him, of course. Kat wasn't particularly bothered about things like that.

But she'd gradually become his family, his responsibility. After that one phone call, he'd never spoken to her mum again. He'd become very protective of her, fearing that one day she'd just disappear back into this life he didn't even know about, a life with her mother which he knew had to be hell. He'd talked her into going back to school when she'd confided she hadn't been since she was nine. He'd been really shocked and had thought there'd have to play catch-up for years, but she'd proven herself quiet a little genius. He knew that a lot of nights she'd snuck out, and when he was on the road, she missed a lot of school, but everytime he'd been home, she'd always seemed content.

She'd become just as protective of him. Everyone learnt really quickly that she didn't suffer fools gladly, and the people she considered fools were the ones who intentionally went out of their way to try and hurt him. She'd proved herself quite a loyal friend like that; she always had his back. Even though he'd taken her under his wing, it often seemed the other way round. She'd told him the best moves to make with his career, his money, even at her tender age, and even though she often told him what a stupid career he had.

He smiled when he thought of that. The first time she'd met Vince she had told him what an evil genius he was for exploiting weak people like him, allowing them to break their bodies for only a sick percentage of what he himself was making from them, even though he didn't actually fight himself. And no one dared talk to Vince like that, not even him!

Then after years of this friendship, of thinking they made quite a nice little family unit, a few weeks after she'd turned sixteen, she'd disappeared. He'd gone out of his mind with worry, hoping for even a postcard to let him know she was okay. He'd got nothing.

One year went past. Then another. By the fourth year, he had started to believe he would never ever see her again. By then he'd married Steph and had a beautiful little boy with her, but Kat had always been at the back of his mind. He'd started thinking that maybe she'd been mugged and left in some ditch to die, then buried in an unmarked grave somewhere because there would have been no one to claim her.

On her twentieth birthday, just after he'd had a beer in her honour while Steph put Marcus to sleep, the door bell had rung. When he'd opened it, Kat had stood there, dirty, skinny as fuck and needle tracks and cuts all up her arms.

That had been four years back.

It wasn't until he'd read that book that he'd known the full horror that was her life.

"Hey, H. Wanna go grab something to eat? I'm starving."

He looked up to see Shawn walk into the locker room and drop his bag on one of the benches.

"Yeah. I'm starving, too," he answered, remembering the meal he could have had instead of the shit from Catering.

* * *

Kat walked down the aisles for a little while as the crazy WWE fans settled down in their seats at The Garden in Boston, screaming and chanting like idiots as they held up posters and signs for their favourites or the ones they hated. The arena was sold out and there were quite a lot of Hardy fans out there. She took a few photos of them, including the crazy girl whose sign held a very indecent message for Jeff. That one would go straight into his Book of Shame. She would have made him a _Wall_ of Shame if they didn't actually move from city to city like they did every almost night.

She couldn't understand this fad. All these people were there to cheer as half naked, oiled up grown men and women grope each other in the name of entertainment. On national television, no less. Where she came from, they had a name for that.

Pay-per-views were always the worst. There was always this energy, even back stage, which she could never seem to get into as well. And she'd tried. For Hunter, she'd tried. But she just couldn't do it. Which made her the worst person ever to be hired for this particular job. Talk about nepotism! She wasn't actually related by blood, but still. Not only did she not know or care about the names of most of the people she was supposed to photograph, she knew nothing of their past storylines.

Still, she must have been doing a good job. Hunter said she did and Vince hadn't complained a single time. Unless he was just too scared to complain. He could be such a pussy around her sometimes, she couldn't understand why. She was a nice person.

Tonight in particular, he wanted her best work because two of his beat money makers were returning. That Superman-like person they'd been advertising for a while, the one who performed his own neck surgery and walked on water to be back at work the very second he'd finished working on himself or some shit like that. And there was also the surprise one, the square jawed one.

Copperman? Coppermine? Copperfield? Ah, shit. It didn't matter anyway.

"Katrina, one minute," someone told her through her earpiece.

She made her way to the main isle, where Matt was going to come down first. She knew _his_ name only because of Jeff. The other photographer was already there, the one Vince depended on for the best shots, no doubt, for his website and magazine.

She let out a long drawn out sigh and waited for the torture to begin, wishing for the end to come quickly so she could get away from all these people.

* * *

**AN/ So that's both of them. Please read and review. I'll concentrate on the one that gets the best reception.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so this is where I reveal the a little bit of the theme that made me so angry when I saw the documentary. **

**Thank you so much to those who put me on their favs and alerts after just one chapter, and to tophersmommy06, Bingobaby and xSamiliciousx for reviewing. Much apreciated.**

* * *

_PREFACE_

_My name is Grace and I'm an alcoholic. Well, okay, not really. Not yet anyway. But judging by the way my life has gone, it will not surprise me if this statement is true in a couple of years. Or even months._

_Okay, so let me start this off properly. _

_My name is Grace and I'm an addict. I'm twenty years old. At this very moment, I'm locked in a plain room, with just a bed and a TV to occupy me. I'm not in a rehab centre. No, I don't think I would have agreed to this if the one person I know really loves me was not near me, reminding me of why I have to win this fight._

_He has finally trusted me with crayon and paper because he feared for my sanity, what with me being stuck here all day with nothing to do. Not pencils, not pens. They're too sharp. Only a few weeks ago, I would have used them to try to end my own life. So now I have a black crayon._

_Only a few weeks. God, it seems like such a long time. I've been in pain since then. My whole body has been shacking uncontrollably and I've been doubled up on the floor because it feels like someone is cutting every part of me, inside and out, very slowly with a knife, then stopping for a second only to twist if roughly. He's been in here with me most of the time, lying on the floor with me. I've felt his pain, felt his tears on me. I think this is what has pushed me to try harder._

_Noone has ever cried for me. And he's crying even though he doesn't know anything about what I've been through. I've never said a word. I've kept that life separate from him because he's always been my haven. My fortress. The place I went to when I wanted to believe there was no bad in this world._

_But they say you have to lay it all out there in order to start healing. I hope they're right because if I do this, and I lose so much more than my sanity... if I lose my fortress... then what is the point?_

_So I'm an addict. Addicted to what, you're asking? Well, everything. Cocaine, heroin, pills, skunk... you get the picture, don't you? Over the years, all these things have kept me alive. But they've also killed me. A few weeks ago, I would have done, and did, anything to get my next fix. He should have just had me committed. I've been a danger to him and his family too many times to mention because of my need to get my next fix. _

_But now I've decided to really give this life he's offering me a chance. Because that's the only chance I'll ever have. _

_I'm still shaking; I can barely make out what I've written. I'm still in pain. I've kept no food down – and discovered it's quite possible to be less than size zero! – so the doctor has now put some sort of drip in me._

_So this is my story. It starts when I was happy, only nine years old, when I had a family that loved me. At least I thought they did. One minute I was daddy's little girl, the next I was being thrown out into the streets with my mother. As I write this, I'm hoping it'll make me understand, make me see, why they never loved me, why my life turned out the way it did. No, I'm not being unreasonable to claim my family had no love for me. My dad threw us out, penniless, and my mum sold me a million times over to any filthy scum just so she could have a few bucks to support her addictions._

_It's not a good story. It's not even a sad one. It's just very disturbing and cruel. I'm writing it for the one person who loves me, so he can finally understand me. I'm also writing it so I can find closure. I'll never be whole, but I'm hoping reading my own words will remind me of what I'm leaving behind, what I hope I'll never find again._

_******_

The knock on the door interrupted Hunter and he reluctantly put the book down. Not that he hadn't read it a million times already; but it still surprised him how the Kat he knew was the same Kat in that book.

"Steph, hurry up. That's Shawn now," he called out as he went to answer the door.

But it wasn't Shawn.

"Hey, H. Is Kitty Kat here?"

He pursed his lips to stop himself from saying something Kat would chew him out for. He still couldn't understand how, out of all the people around her, she'd formed a bond with this weird one. He liked Jeff, but his past made him worry that somehow, if he ever succumbed to temptation again, he would drag Kat down with him.

"No. Thought she was with you," he answered.

A flash of irritation passed quickly in the younger man's eyes but he noticed it. What was it? Was he trying to go all territorial on Kat? So she was a bit late to meet him. So what?

"Did you try her room?"

"Yeah," Jeff sighed. "I'll go wait for her in my room. If you see her, tell her I can't guarantee that I won't be already passed out when she comes. I'm tired."

"Will do," he said, even though he hoped she wouldn't actually go to his room that night.

Kat spent all her free time with him, it was unhealthy.

"Didn't know you could read," Jeff teased when he saw the book he was holding.

He looked down at the book and his chest tightened as it always did.

Then he got an idea.

"Have you read this one? It's really good," he said as he lifted the cover for Jeff to read. "It'll give you something to do while you wait for her."

"Amazing Grace by G. Carver," Jeff read. "It's not some freaky sex shit is it?"

Well, that was one way of putting it, he thought wryly. There was a lot of sex. A lot of forced sex.

"Take it," he told the younger man. "You might learn something."

Jeff shrugged and accepted the book. Kat would no doubt see it in his room and kick his ass for giving it to him. But if she really wanted Jeff in her life, maybe this would open his eyes a little and force him to be careful with her. If he worked out whom G. Carver was. Carver was her mother's maiden name. As much as she hated the woman, she'd felt it right to associate this nasty part of her life with her name.

"Alright. See you later, H. Enjoy the party," Jeff said as he turned to leave.

"How come you're letting Kat keep you from it?" he asked.

"Not really my scene either," Jeff shrugged as he walked away. "Later."

He saw Shawn walking up in the direction Jeff was going and chuckled when they didn't even acknowledge each other. Shawn was still a bit put out that Jeff had so easily instilled himself in Kat's life when it hard taken him a lot of time and effort.

Shawn was mumbling to himself as he finally walked past him into the room. He caught something like 'arrogant little shit' and 'skittle eating piss-head' as he closed the door.

Like him, Shawn wasn't allowed to be nasty to Jeff, but Shawn wasn't afraid to show his displeasure about their friendship in other ways.

"You guys ready?" Shawn asked.

"Steph's still getting dolled up," he answered.

"Suck it up and zip it in!" Shawn called as he banged twice on the bathroom door, laughing when Steph shouted a few choice words back at him.

"So what did Jeff want?" Shawn asked as he sat on the bed.

"Looking for Kat. I thought she was with him already, she called me almost an hour ago to say she was meeting him," he answered.

"Think maybe she's met someone else?" Shawn asked hopefully.

"She would have told me," he said.

"Darn it! So Jeff's still in the running, then," Shawn grumbled. "You think something's going on between them? We've found them in the same bed often enough."

"Nah. She says there isn't and I believe her," he answered.

He'd learned early on how important his trust was to Kat. She was painfully honest with him since she'd let her biggest secrets out into the open with her book. She felt she had no need to lie about anything anymore. Before, he'd found it hard to believe how anyone could do that; everybody lied at one point or another, it was only human. But Katrina found it deplorable and completely unnecessary, since hurting anyone's feelings was the least of her worries.

"Do you think she'll ever be in a relationship? I mean, after... you know," Shawn asked after a while.

He'd given his friend his own copy of Amazing Grace, much to Kat's irritation.

"I don't know," he whispered sadly, just as Steph walked out of the bathroom, sexy and irresistible in a little black dress.

"Wow," he muttered. "Can we skip the party and have our own right here?"

Steph rolled her eyes at him but he could tell she was pleased he still found her attractive. How could he not? She was gorgeous; he would never tire of her.

"You two worrying about Kat again?" she asked as she walked where she'd placed her heels.

"She should have come to this party with us," Shawn muttered. "She needs to loosen up a bit and see that no one here is out to get her. She's such a bright, beautiful girl... she should be happy."

Steph put her hand on his back reassuringly and he looked away from Shawn to smile at her. His wife hadn't understood the bond he had with Kat in the beginning; hadn't understood how he could have let his 'real family', as she'd called them back then, go through the things they had while he'd forced her to get clean.

But then she'd read the book.

As Kat had churned out page after page of her heartbreak on pieces of paper, day in day out while she'd been confined in her room, Steph had sat right there next to him and read them. She hadn't made Kat feel unloved or unwelcome since.

In fact, he believed it had been Steph that had finally made Kat feel as if she was part of the family.

"Maybe one day," Steph said, smiling at Shawn. "Look how far she's come now. One day the past will be the past. She'll be alright."

He smiled up at his wife again and prayed that she was right. Kat could do so much with herself now that she'd broken her chains. Would she see it? Would she try?

Somehow he doubted that. His little broken angel was content just the way she was.

Alone.

* * *

Kat's head slammed hard against the shower wall, but she didn't feel the pain. Her legs were tightly wrapped around the Legend Killer as he plunged deeper and deeper into her under the hot shower spray.

"Kat..." he groaned, as he leaned his head down and kissed her.

She felt a surge of power flow through her. Always, she reduced this man to a blabbering idiot with her body. This man, the gorgeous Adonis, this god...

Many of the women backstage wanted to get a piece of him, and some of the men, too. She couldn't blame them. He was one very superior specimen of the male species. And he was hers.

Well, okay. Technically, he was Maria's, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that Maria and all those other women he slept with had nothing on her! She made him scream her name out loud every single time. She could bring him to completion in seconds if she so chose. She could even bring him to his knees; a fact he refused to acknowledge.

It was all about control with this man. He would never admit he had none when he was around her but she could see it. They could both see it. They both knew why he kept coming back to her, over and over again, when the other women –besides the slut Maria – were just one night stands.

She tightened herself around him as she felt the end coming and heard his unintelligible murmurs as a shudder ran through him. He was so easy.

With a satisfied smirk she took back control, letting her body take over as the familiar but still powerful sensations rocked her body. His groans fuelled her on until no thoughts existed in her head. Then she went over the edge, bringing him with her as her screams mingled with his own.

He slid down the wall with her still in his arms, still trembling, to the shower floor.

The water flowed down his sculptured chest and stomach to where they were still joined and she followed its movement, marvelling again at how powerful she always felt when she did this to him. It made her heady. It made her feel like she was _somebody_, it made her feel normal.

That was why he'd become her obsession.

Even if he was a prick most of the time.

"Same time tomorrow?" he asked.

"Okay," she answered with a sly smile as she got off him and started to shower properly.

"Maria will be around for a while," he stated as he watched her soap herself.

"I'm sure you'll find a way," she said, knowing he would indeed do whatever she asked, even if he didn't admit it.

He liked playing God. He liked thinking he could tell her to jump and she'd ask how high. Sometimes she did just to keep him sweet. Most times she ignored him. Once she left him, once she walked out of that door, he would be just a pleasant memory to take to bed.

Quickly, she finished up. Jeff would be waiting. He would, no doubt, know who she'd been with and he wouldn't be very happy with her.

Randy got to his feet and leaned against the wall. He stood at an impressive six feet four. She didn't know why she had been attracted to him, considering her history with men who could throw her about like a rag doll, but his pull on her had been too strong to resist.

"Are you going to Jeff?"

"Hmm," she answered.

She saw the cold return to his eyes again and sighed, knowing their time together had come to its end.

"I've told you___"

"What? That I can't see Jeff while you're with Maria?"

"Don't get mouthy with me! You're mine," he growled.

"I am nobody's," she answered, shutting the water off angrily before turning to walk out.

He was with different women every night when he wasn't with her, and that was never as innocent as sharing a drink or a game of Guitar Hero like what she did with Jeff.

"Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?" he asked, following her into the bedroom.

He'd got another room for them so Maria wouldn't disturb him.

"Oh, quit that, Randy. We both know you'd never leave Maria for me," she muttered as she got dressed.

He'd told her this a lot in the six months she'd been with him. Maria was what he called, the whole package. She dressed well, she was _perky, _and she came from a good family. The perfect wife material, as he said.

"No, I wouldn't," he agreed without hesitation.

It didn't hurt her feelings. This was what it was. It could never be any more. Even if sometimes she wished it would.

"Call me," she said without turning back as she walked to the door.

He caught her before she could open it and turned her around to face him, his naked body pressing into hers against the door.

"Go to your own room. It's after midnight, Jeff's probably crashed right now," he growled.

God, did he never quit? After assuring her that she would always be just his bit on the side, even when they both knew how awesome the sex was, why did he always have to try controlling her life?

"Randy___"

His lips silenced her, stole her objection.

"Go to your room," he repeated when he broke off the kiss.

"Okay," she answered, still dazed by the kiss.

Damn it!

He let out a satisfied smirk as opened the door for her to leave.

* * *

Jeff opened the door, dressed only in his sweats as he'd already been in bed. He looked at her for a moment without saying a word.

From her still damp hair, which wasn't under some sort of hat for a change to the glimmer in her grey eyes, it wasn't very hard to guess what she'd just been doing.

"Did he kick you out?" he muttered.

She rolled her eyes at him and pushed into the room. She was also dressed in sweats, with a hooded top and fluffy pink slippers on her feet. They weren't something she usually wore but Hunter's kids had given them to her for her last birthday so he knew they had sentimental value.

"I'm not that late," Kat said as she dropped her back pack on his bed.

"Try two hours," he said as he closed the door and walked back to throw himself on the bed.

"What you doing?" she asked, shaking him.

"Going to sleep," he mumbled.

"Don't be a pussy! I brought alcohol."

"Kitty, I'm really tired," he mumbled as he pulled her down in front of him.

He hated it when she blew him off for Orton. Not that it messed with his ego or anything, but he sometimes had to clear his schedule or make some sort of excuse to Matt. He didn't like doing it for nothing.

"Sorry, Jeff," she sighed as she snuggled against him.

But she wasn't, he knew that. It would be the same story the next day, or the day after that. How could she let Orton take up so much of her time? He wasn't worth it.

Opening his eyes, he looked at the back of her neck and saw the tell-tale signs of Orton's presence. He'd hurt her again.

"Damn it, Katrina," he snapped as he pushed her away and got off the bed. "Why do you let him get away with that?"

He saw her hand come up to her throat protectively.

"Stay out of it, Jeff," she told him.

He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples in an effort to calm himself down. She was worth so much more than this, why couldn't she see it?

"Kitty Kat, listen to me. He hurts you. Every time. Why can't you just leave him?"

"And then what?" she asked, sighing as well as she pulled out a bottle of JD from her bag. "No, actually, don't answer that. Just grab a couple of glasses and some ice, you'll forget all about _my_ sex life after a few drinks."

He looked into her face again and noticed the stubborn set of her jaw. Damn woman! If only he could beat the crap out of Orton without losing Kat in the process.

Growling in defeat, he did as he was told.

"Just so you know," he said as she poured generous helpings of whiskey in the glasses, "I've got a breaking point. I can't guarantee his safety if he ever goes too far again."

"He's not doing anything I don't want him to," she muttered. "Now drink up."

"Don't you ever feel guilty about how Maria will feel if she ever finds out?"

"No."

Simple answer. True as well.

He knew she wasn't selfish or as cold hearted as she wanted people to believe, but she had this thing about doing whatever the hell she wanted. One life, and all that. She said she'd already wasted enough of her life doing what other people wanted.

Sometimes he admired that about her. Other times, like now, he wasn't so sure.

He settled himself against the headboard next to her and drank his drink in one gulp, feeling the liquid burn down his throat.

"So now are we going to talk about something else?" she asked, filling his glass up again.

"Knock yourself out."

He was determined not to enjoy a single moment of this night. If she wanted to stay in an abusive relationship, he wasn't going to pat her back for it.

But as always, she had him wrapped around her little finger in minutes. He never had to force himself to laugh when she was with him, never had to pretend anything. She was funny, in her own very dry, morbid way; very complex, too. How come she didn't let people see her like this? He knew a lot of people she would get along with instantly if she just let her guard down.

After quite a few drinking games, dancing and duels on Guitar Hero all the alcohol was gone. He'd lost a few games so he'd had take the colour out of his hair as well as his nails as a forfeit, she'd lost a few and he'd forced her to colour her hair with purple and red highlights. She looked quite good in his colours.

He wasn't nearly as drunk as she was; since she'd won most of the games, she'd had most of the alcohol. Her rules were that the winner always had the drink. She drank him under the table most of the time, anyway. In fact, he was positive she could out-drink most of his friends, too, even Shane who could drink like a fish and still appear sober.

"Let's get some more," she slurred.

"Dude, you're shit-faced already," he chuckled. "I think its bed time."

"Oh, fuck that!" she said as she rolled of the bed and staggered to her feet. "I'm going downstairs. You can go to sleep if you want, you big pussy."

She sometimes did stuff like this when she was drunk. Just the last week, they'd called a cab to drive them all over the city in search of what she called the perfect ribs- she could pig on those all day - and had got them into all kinds of shit. He didn't mind. He preferred her in that state because this was when she never cared about being part of the background.

So he found his shoes and caught up with her by the elevator.

"Dude!" she shrieked happily when she saw him.

"Dude!" he mimicked, laughing when she fell against him and he had to carry her into the elevator.

He had his arm around her as they walked out into the lobby. They stopped at the bar entrance and noticed how completely dead it was. There wasn't even any music playing, just a couple of old guys drinking quietly in a corner and a guy who seemed to be drinking his troubles away right by the bar.

But there was loud music blasting a few doors down. That was when he remembered. The hotel function room had been hired for the Survivor Series after party. His first thought was to turn back, knowing how strongly Kat felt about associating with her co-workers. But maybe it was about time they all saw her for who she really was. Under all that intensity and rudeness, she was a pretty awesome girl. Maybe then she would get someone worthy of her and forget all about Orton.

"Let's go up there," Kat said eagerly.

He didn't need to be asked twice.

The moment they walked into the room, a lot of the people hushed up a little bit. They weren't exactly dressed for a party, both of them in sweats and Kitty Kat still in her fluffy slippers, but he knew that wasn't the reason people were staring. They were wondering who his 'date' was. And looking down at her then, he realised how absolutely gorgeous she looked just the way she was.

Her short hair, now with his colours in it, stood in its usual messy, just-got-out-of-bed look even though he'd brushed it into a different style after he'd coloured it. Her cat eyes shone silver in the light because she was genuinely happy at that time; and she didn't wear any make up, yet she looked more appealing than a lot of these other divas. Her beater had rode up a bit, teasing everyone with glimpses of her smooth skin, and her sweats now hung low on her hips, exposing the Chinese symbol for 'hope' tattooed on her stomach. He saw a lot of his male colleagues' eyes light up appreciatively.

He couldn't have planned this better even if he'd tried.

He smirked as he led her right to the bar and sat her down.

"Something weak and sweet for the lady. And I'll have a JD on the rocks, please," Kat called out to the barman and then she started laughing at her own joke.

"Very funny," he said dryly, looking around the room.

* * *

"This is going to be interesting," Shawn laughed when they watched Kat drown her drink in one go before she slid off the bar stool and dragged Jeff onto the dance floor.

"Tell me about it," Hunter agreed.

"How did Jeff make her come down here? Thought she hated all these people," Steph chuckled.

"Got her drunk," Hunter sighed.

He watched the way Kat laughed at something Jeff said to her; a hearty, genuine laugh that he didn't hear as often as he liked and grudgingly admitted that Hardy was good for her.

"It's nice to see her enjoy herself for a change," Steph said next to them.

"She always enjoys herself. Just not with people," Hunter grunted.

"Well, I think after this you'll be beating them away with a stick," Shawn mentioned as he brought their attention to the men who were looking at her, some openly and others in secret.

Kat had started dancing; a slow, sensual kind of dancing that could only be achieved by being in a certain state of intoxication. Not that he liked it when she drank; he was afraid that with her history, it would be easy for her to become dependent on it. But she _did_ loosen up somewhat when she had a couple of drinks down her. She even liked _Shawn_ when she was in that state!

"They look really good together. You think there's something going on?" Steph asked.

"Why are you so eager to have her in a relationship with Jeff?" Shawn frowned, even though he'd asked the same question earlier. "Can you imagine that punk coming to your house more often than he does now? Think of the damage that would do to the kids. Remember how Marc tried to do a Swanton off your couch?"

"Stop being so melodramatic," Steph said. "It would be nice to see her happy with someone."

They all looked at Kat again, seeing how she absolutely glowed when she was with Jeff.

"Yeah. It would," Shawn agreed with a sigh.

* * *

She was doing this amazing thing with her generous hips. Her eyes were closed as she moved slowly to the music, swaying her hips side to side in a simple movement, yet the result was far from it. The way Shakira did it? Beyonce? That was nothing! The little movements she was making were highlighting her incredibly defined shape; the generous bust, the tiny waist which gave way to the fullest hips and the shapeliest butt...

He couldn't resist standing behind her so he could put his hands on her hips, matching her rhythm yet not quite moving either as he let her do all her sexy little moves against him. It felt incredibly sexy.

Beyond the throng of other bodies dancing, his eyes met Orton's. The man's cold eyes were staring angrily at him, much as they did everytime he saw him with his play-thing. He stood in a corner with Maria, not moving a muscle like he was carved form stone. He honestly couldn't understand what Kat saw in him. Or Maria for that matter. The guy was a fucking dick, everybody knew this.

Not able to resist temptation, he pulled Kat closer against him so her shapely butt was right on him and ran his fingers sensually along her gyrating hip. His other hand tightly gripped her other hip while a couple of fingers slyly slipped under the band of her sweats. He bit his bottom lip as he smiled, knowing how angry Orton was getting. Well, maybe then he'd realise Kitty was worth way more than he thought, that she could get any one of the men in this room if she wanted.

He started kissing her neck, nibbling it and breathing against it, smiling more when her hands came up around his neck and she giggled. He messed about with her like that a lot so he knew she wouldn't jump out of his arms in outrage or anything like that. She'd actually forced him to do stuff like this too many times to count when they went out just so he would ward off any 'undesirables' as she call them.

And she was pretty much gone anyway so he doubted she knew what he was doing. If she'd seen Orton, there was no way she would have let him touch her.

Orton's face remained impassive, but the fire in his eyes betrayed him. Job done.

He let her go; well, she launched herself out of his grasp when Melina and Layla dancing in front of them caught her eyes. She looked really happy squealing with them. Sort of like a normal person would. Then he laughed when Morrison caught her eye and she launched herself at him, too. But not before she'd promised Melina and Layla they'd hang out soon.

He started dancing with the girls she'd abandoned, but he didn't miss the fact that she actually circled the room, dancing with everyone and even pulling some of the people who were seated onto the dance floor. And he didn't miss Orton's face, either. The man was ready to explode, watching Kat make an impression on every single person there. Except him. She didn't even notice him.

But she darn well got the party started right. Just like she always did. Well, with just him, anyway.

Finally she staggered back to him and threw her arm around his waist, smiling up into his face.

"All these people are so awesome," she slurred. "Did you know there's actually someone here named Dolph? I was like, 'what the fuck?!' then he told me his last name and I almost pissed myself laughing."

He chuckled as he started to lead her back to the bar.

"Want another drink, baby?" he asked, even though he knew she'd had more than enough already.

But what good would it have done, finally having her out with his friends only to tell her she couldn't drink anymore?

"Yes, please," she answered eagerly.

* * *

**AN/ I was very tired when I did the summary for this one. It doesn't really say what the story's about. I'm working on it, don't worry. Now run on over to Sex on Fire, I've updated that one, too. I'll keep posting till we have a clear winner. I know it's too early to judge right now. **

**Don't forget to leave a review, they're highly motivating (especially for one as lazy as I am at the moment! lol). Thank you.**


	3. Chapter 3

"And I was thinking, maybe you should come home with me on Wednesday. Mum's invited a few of the family to meet you....."

Randy muttered an appropriate reply. Well, at least he hoped it was appropriate. He'd been playing the attentive boyfriend so well before Katrina had walked in and started acting all stupid with Hardy. After he'd told her to go back to her fucking room, as well.

Now he was so angry, he knew if he actually started paying attention to Maria, he'd rip her head off for being so fucking irritating and ruin his chances with her completely. Not to mention he'd already been bored out of his head even before Katrina had walked on. Maria was so damn... dull.

Maria, dull? Yes! He couldn't stand how everything that came out of her mouth was all about her. He couldn't stand her irritating voice, and sometimes even the way she squealed happily at things that pleased her. Come on! Who was happy all the fucking time like that? It was goddamn freaky.

But she was from good stock and she pleased his family. They thought she was sweet and _nice_. That was all that mattered. She was _nice_ enough to settle down with, like they had been hounding him for years to do. Yet she was still dim enough to not notice his many indiscretions. And there were plenty of those.

Like that whoring Kat, for example.

His eyes narrowed angrily on Hardy as the man put his filthy paws on his woman. Whether she was his only woman or not didn't matter, he should have been her only man. He'd hammered that into her over and over again, yet there she was....

".... my cousins can be like that sometimes...."

He couldn't even pretend to listen anymore, but Maria had gone past the stage of noticing. She did that a lot once she started talking. If only he could show her, the way he showed Kat, who was fucking boss.

It wasn't even as if she was _that_ good in bed. Kat was a million times better. And Kat could do a whole lot more with her mouth than just talk.

Honestly, if Kat was just a bit more... presentable... he'd probably have settled for her instead of the dim redhead. Who wore sweats to a party? Those things were for working out and shit, and to the best of his knowledge, the only working out Kat did was flat on her back. And knitted caps? Slippers? Not just any slippers, fluffy animal shaped ones. And he knew for a fact that her family was _not_ the type he wanted associated with his name. He'd gathered that much the first time he'd got with her, when she'd started talking after he'd finished and all he'd wanted to do was get the hell out of her room. She hadn't said much, except that her mum was out there somewhere doing shady things and she didn't really know her father. How the hell would he introduce someone like that to his family?

He'd told her though, as he'd put his clothes on, that he wasn't interested in her life story. She hadn't said anything personal to him since. It was better like that. That way, they had more time to do what really mattered. Like fuck. Honestly, the girl was that good at it sometimes he entertained thoughts of leaving Maria for her. Sometimes. Then he squashed those ridiculous thoughts before they took root.

If Kat dressed as well as Maria did, if she just put a bit of effort on her looks, she might have been the lucky one to stand with him, to probably become the next Mrs. Orton. Maria had the whole package; well, almost. She dressed good. And she was pretty enough. She was disappointing in bed – very boring, not adventurous at all, but he could easily fix that by slipping away once in a while to get what he wanted.

And what he wanted was Kat. He'd never known a dick could be sucked like that until he met her. And the way she was such an animal in bed, the way she screamed his name when he nailed her made him feel like he was some fucking rockstar... Even after he married Maria, which he was planning on doing real soon, he would keep Kat around. He'd never get tired of her.

He watched her face again, noticing how the smile on her face made her seem quite... pretty.

She _was,_ really, he could admit that much, but just not the pretty he preferred. Not the obvious kind of pretty. Sometimes, in the dim light of whatever place he fucked her, he could almost imagine she wasn't so... flawed.

Her hair was always a mess, and now she'd even gone as far as colour it the way Jeff did his. He'd have to tell her to take it out. It was bad enough it was short and spiky enough to pass for a boy's. He'd been angry with her for a while when she'd cut her hair, her one redeeming feature. And to top all of that, her clothes made her look like a boy, too.

Those weren't her only faults. She had plenty of those. She had slight marks up her arms; it didn't take a genius to guess what her favourite pastime used to be. She drank and ate like a pig. And she smoked. He had nothing against smokers, hell, he smoked himself, but if a woman was going to be privileged enough to carry his kids she had to be clean, in every sense of the word.

She was pretty enough, but she wasn't in his league, not even close, not like Maria was. Even if half the men in her room were looking at her like she was some sort of candy.

He growled angrily when he realised this. All these men were looking at _his_ woman. His property. He wouldn't let that go unpunished. Even if she was only his woman in secret.

But he had to admit, she looked pretty hot, dancing the way she was with Hardy.

He never took her anywhere so he'd never really seen her like this.

"..... could she think she could get away with that? Though, I suppose, to be Jeff's girlfriend you'd have to be weird like him__"

"She's not his girlfriend," he cut in sharply, without thinking.

"How do you know?"

"He's going out with Kennedy's friend," he said, thinking on his feet. "We met her once, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Angela, wasn't it?" she said. "Yeah, Jeff would never dump a gorgeous woman like her for... that! Look at her. I'd never dance the way she's dancing, it looks more like something you'd do in the privacy of your bedroom."

"There are plenty of things you don't do, Maria," he muttered under his breath.

"What? Stop mumbling, Randy."

He didn't bother replying. His eyes were locked on Hardy as the cocky little shit teased him with what was already his, anyway.

His blood boiled. Katrina would have to pay for this. Dearly.

Then he watched with thinly veiled anger as she proceeded to rub herself against every man in the room, laughing and giggling with them like she was somebody.

She was nobody; he'd show her.

"Honey? Are you alright?"

"Shut the fuck up," he growled.

* * *

The second he sat her down, she jumped back up to sit on the bar top and reached over for a bottle of JD.

"I think we're supposed to wait for the bartender sweetheart," he chuckled as he made himself comfortable on the bar stool she'd abandoned, right between her legs, and grasped her hips to keep her steady.

She always fell over when she was drunk. Even if she was sitting down.

"Are we paying for this? I thought this shit was free," she said, her brow knitted. "Why would anyone invite me to a party and make me buy my own fuckin' drinks?"

She said this while she poured both of them a generous helping of whiskey, much to the barman's dismay.

"To us. May we live to drink another day," she slurred, clinking her drink with his.

He chuckled into his drink and almost spilt some when his head was roughly caught between her hands.

"You look real pretty, Hardy."

"Um... thanks?"

"No, I mean it. It's the blonde hair. I don't see it like this often. Makes you look all hot and shit."

"Are you saying you don't like my colours?"

"I love your colours. I was just sayin'."

Then she pushed her fingers into his hair and started singing along to the song that was playing in the background, an oldie, Joe Cocker's version of the old Beatles song, With a Little Help From My Friends.

_What would you think if I sang out of tune,  
Would you stand up and walk out on me?  
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song  
And I'll try not to sing out of key._

She jerked his head back and leaned into him so her face was only an inch from his.

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends  
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends  
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

He grinned up at her, thinking how good her voice was.

What do I do when my love is away?  
(Does it worry you to be alone?)  
How do I feel by the end of the day?  
(Are you sad because you're on your own?)

Do you need anybody  
I need somebody to love  
Could it be anybody  
I want somebody to love.

She continued to serenade him, not breaking eye contact for a second. She looked really happy, and that made him happy. She didn't let go often enough, but he hoped after tonight, after showing herself to the people she called superficial egomaniacs, she would realise there was nothing wrong with letting go once in a while.

_  
Would you believe in a love at first sight  
Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time  
What do you see when you turn out the light  
I can't tell you but I know it's mine,_

Then she abruptly stopped singing and giggled as she brought her forehead down to meet his.

"You're really, really fucked, aren't you?" he chuckled.

"Shhh," she said, laughing again.

"Jeff? What's going on, bro?"

Matt! Shit.

He'd forgot about the whole make-him-see-for-himself-that-they-were-just-friends thing. That little thing on the dance floor probably wouldn't have helped much. And the whole looking into her eyes as she sang to him thing that followed. They'd probably looked like some really love-struck couple instead of friends who were just really comfortable with each other.

"He-ey," he said, smiling awkwardly at his brother. "Have you met Kat?"

"Hmm hmm hmm!" Kat said, licking her lips and leaning over until she was face to face with Matt. "Hello, Matt."

His brother frowned at her, clearly at a loss for words.

"Have a seat," he laughed, "she won't bite."

"I won't bite," Kat mimicked, smiling at him innocently.

Matt relented and sat down, but he knew it was only because he was curious.

"So what's a bar like you doing in a man like this?" Kat slurred.

In her head, it made sense. He chuckled at the realisation that after another drink he'd probably have to carry her back to his room. He would give her half an hour, tops, before she just crashed.

"Are you Jeff's girlfriend or something?" Matt asked.

His brother was always straight to the point, much like Kat. They'd get along.

"This guy? Hell no!" Kat slurred as she unsuccessfully tried to push him away from her. "But you and I? We could work something out."

"We could, huh?" Matt asked, a little smile now playing on his lips.

"Of course. I bleed awesomeness; you look like you shit candy... perfect match," Kat said. "Dude, tell him."

He laughed out loud at that one even as he did as he was told. "She bleeds awesomeness and you shit candy."

Matt chuckled, shaking his head as he ordered himself a beer.

"Can I kiss you?" Kat asked out of the blue, moving out of his grasp so she was right in front of Matt.

"Um... I don't think that's a goo__"

But Matt didn't get to finish his sentence because Kat's lips were already on him. And he didn't pull away.

He couldn't help searching for Orton's eyes again and saw he was positively livid. He smiled and turned back to watch his brother and friend.

"Hardy!"

At Hunter's loud bellow, he held his hands up, letting go of Kat immediately. He did this a lot when the man was nearby, even if he wasn't doing anything wrong. And of course, his brother let go as well. Kat immediately rolled over and fell face first right by the bartender's feet.

But she got back on her feet immediately and gave them a goofy smile before holding a thumb up at Hunter and saying, "I'm okay. I landed on something soft."

He leaned over the counter to see for himself what she had landed on and saw nothing but the cold, hard floor.

"What?" he asked.

Her smile grew wider as she put her hands on her double D's, gently bobbing them up and down. He knew she had no idea how provocative that little action was.

"Whoa," Matt muttered.

"This is nothing," he chuckled. "You should see her when she's _really_ drunk."

"So you've known her a while, then?" his brother asked, her attention still on Kat as she tried to pour herself a mixture of all of the drinks aligning the wall, smacking the bartender's hand when he tried to stop her.

"Almost a year," he replied.

"And you're not sleeping with her?"

"No."

"So how come you never introduced her to me?"

"You know the shit Angie gives me when we're home. I just didn't want Kat's name being mixed up with all of that," he shrugged. "And Kat isn't much of a people person, anyway. It took me a long time to even get her to loosen up with me."

They turned their attention back to Kat, who had three straws in a big glass of her probably killer mixture and was patting the bartender on his back and telling him to 'chill out, dude'.

"No? She looks very much like a people person to me," Matt said.

"Wait till you meet her properly tomorrow," he chuckled.

"Is she Hunter's girlfriend?"

"Hunter's standing right there with his wife. Why would you even ask that?"

"Because he sounded really pissed that she was kissing me."

"He tends to shout at me a lot, too," he chuckled. "If I'm going to get you two to be friends, you'll get used to Hunter soon enough. And Steph and Shawn. Sometimes Vince and Shane."

"Yeah," Matt drew out with his brow knitted. "I'm not so sure I want to."

"You guys should try this. That guy just said I have a very promising future as a bartender," Kat chirped happily as she put the drink in front of them and waved at the scowling bartender at the other side of the bar as if they were friends.

"Have _you_ tried it?" Matt asked, still amused.

Kat immediately put one of the straws in her mouth and sucked up quite a big mouthful. Then her face fell and turned an interesting shade of green. She took a glass from the bartender – who'd come behind her to mix a drink - and spat into it before handing it back, ignoring the fact that the drink in that glass had just been about to be served to someone.

"I think I need to throw up. Excuse me," she announced before gingerly making her way down to the toilets.

"Maybe you should help her."

"I'll give her a few minutes," he laughed, drowning his drink.

* * *

She'd thrown up and had just finished washing the horrible taste out of her mouth when the door was opened. She felt his presence before she even saw him. Shit, she hadn't even known he was there, at the same party.

Sure enough, when she turned around Randy was leaning by the door, arms across his expansive chest, looking like the god he was in his expensive looking shirt and jeans.

And he looked extremely angry.

"Hi, Randy," she smiled.

Damn it, how had she let herself get this drunk? She could barely make out the expressions on his beautiful face.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he growled at her.

His deep voice always had this puzzling effect on her. It weakened her, but not in the scary way she was used to. And this intrigued her. She thought this was part of the reason he had become her obsession. A sick obsession she couldn't get rid of.

"I don't understand..."

He growled under his breath and locked the door behind him before striding forward to tower over her.

"You don't understand?" he growled angrily, bending down so his face was right up in hers.

His hot breath immediately stirred the usual longing within her. And of course, that meant she completely forgot what they'd been talking about as a little moan escaped her lips. This was why she hated drinking when she was with Randy. She forgot all about the control and gave in completely to the way he made her feel.

"You fucking bitch!" Randy bit out. "You were just getting off from those dicks out there and those fucking Hardys touching and kissing you! You think I'd touch you after that?"

She panicked immediately. She'd just been playing around. What she'd done there didn't mean anything. He couldn't hold out on her for that! What he did, sometimes in her face, was a million times worse.

"Please," she whispered.

She hated begging, but sometimes she had to when it came to this man, even though she knew he wasn't good for her. He got a kick out of it. It gave him his balls back, if only for a brief period of time.

But instead of giving her what she wanted, instead of taking her right there and then like he normally did, he grabbed her by the neck and slammed her against a wall. Hard. She felt the sharp pain from the back of her head where she'd hurt herself in the shower earlier and swore out loud at him, clawing at his hand when he refused to put her back down.

He pressed his body against hers as he bought his lips to her ear, and she felt the tell tale signs of his arousal pressing against her, even though there was absolutely nothing sexual about what he was doing.

"You made a fool of me," he growled. "You let Hardy...."

His voice trailed off as he swore under his breath before increasing the pressure on her neck. She couldn't breathe. Her head had already been swimming from the alcohol, but now everything was starting to look like just a swirl of colour.

"You're hurting me," she whispered.

"What did I tell you? I told you to go straight to our room. And what have I said about you being with other men?" he barked angrily.

"I haven't... Just you."

"Bullshit!" he growled. "You'll pay for this."

She couldn't help shuddering with fear. It was times like these, when he scared her shitless, when she wished she could break whatever chains he had on her. But she couldn't. He was the only man since... the only one who'd ever made her feel the way she did.

"I'm sorry."

Damn it, the things she said to keep this man...

"You should be. I don't have to take shit from you. I don't need any complications in my life right now, especially complications that just aren't worth my time and effort."

Was he ending it? Dear God, no! She was only just beginning to find herself, only beginning to get a taste of this power she felt when she was with him. He couldn't leave her.

She struggled for a second against his iron grip, hoping to loosen it just a little bit so she could beg. At this point, in her drunken state, she wasn't too proud to beg. But his hand didn't budge.

"I'm sorry," she repeated weakly.

"That's not good enough. All I ask is for a little respect but you can't even do that," he snarled. "You've moved from Jeff to Matt, now? Huh? Is that it? You're going to let Matt put his hands all over you the way Jeff does?"

"No!"

"Lying little shit," he growled. "You think what you did in there will make me jealous?"

Jealous? Randy? Of course! She'd learned very early on that he got really jealous if she even looked at another man, but making him admit it would mean what they had was something more than it was. It wasn't. It could never be.

"No," she said instead.

"What? You just wanted someone to fuck you tonight? Just because I told you I'd be with Maria?"

"I only want you, Randy."

"Well, tough shit! Get your act together, Katrina. I won't stand for this bullshit."

He let go of her finally and she almost collapsed to the floor, letting the air flow freely into her lungs again.

"Randy, don't go. Not like this," she begged weakly.

If he left her while he was that angry it could take weeks before he even spoke to her again. He'd done that before and she hadn't handled that too well.

He stopped by the door, his hand on the lock, but didn't turn around.

"Let me make it up to you."

He turned around slowly until he was facing her. And the hunger in his eyes was unmistakable.

God, he was so easy.

"Make it quick," he growled.

She smiled triumphantly as she slid her sweats down, trying very hard not to fall on her face as she did.

"Oh, it'll be quick," she said softly.

* * *

**AN/ At this rate I'll run out of chapters to post. The plan was for me to keep writing the later chapters and post the earlier ones bit by bit. I've wrote nothing all week. **

**Thank you for your reviews. Much appreciated. Hope you enjoyed this one. I know it's going a bit slow, just chill. The good stuff will come soon enough.**

**Much love.**


	4. Chapter 4

**WARNING: Dark themes. **

**The morning after, plus more of Grace's life.**

* * *

Kat opened her eyes gingerly the next morning against the harsh morning sunlight that filtered into the room. Some idiot had opened the curtains. And she knew who the idiot was.

Turning her head slightly to look up, she saw his beautiful emeralds looking down at her.

"If it's not anywhere near noon, I'm going to kill you," she growled at him.

"It's not. But I wanna get some food down you before we check out."

"Jeff..." she whined as she buried her face in her pillow. "Go eat with someone else. I can't even think about food right now."

She felt his fingers gently trailing her neck, and the long sigh that came afterwards was an indication that something was bothering him. And that usually meant he wanted to talk.

As much as she loved the guy, he was going to have to wait until that nasty pounding in her head stopped.

"You're not going all angsty and shit on me again, are you? The best advice I could give you right now is to forget whatever it is that's bothering you and move the fuck on," she muttered.

"Why do you let him do this to you?" Jeff asked softly.

"What?"

"He hurt you again."

She didn't need him to explain who 'he' was.

"Like I said, move the fuck on."

"Kitty Kat, come on!" Jeff sighed.

She felt his fingers again and smacked them away.

"Stay out of it, Hardy," she muttered, closing her eyes so she could try to sleep again.

"He disrespects you. He hits you. He treats you like crap and you expect me to not say anything?" he bit out angrily.

Randy didn't hit her. Not really anyway. Not the way Jeff thought. But she wasn't about to explain her sick obsession to the one friend she had in the whole world.

She let out a sigh as she kicked the covers off her body, not surprised when she noticed she only had her beater and panties on. Sometimes, when she got too drunk, Jeff undressed her and put her to bed. After being nude for him for several sittings while he'd sketched her, she'd stopped freaking out when he did this. Jeff didn't look at her like other men did when they saw her naked. After the life she'd had, that had come as a very welcome change. And that was probably what had cemented their friendship.

"I'm going to my room to get some more sleep before checkout," she muttered.

"He's not good for you," Jeff tried again.

She turned on him angrily. How dare he assume to know her!

"No? Then who is? You, Jeffy? Are _you_ going to do all the things Orton does for me?" she sneered.

Jeff clenched his jaw, but didn't look away.

"I didn't think so," she said. "So stay the fuck out of it."

She turned from her friend so she could walk into the bathroom only to crash into a hard, wet wall. The impact would have made her fall hard on her ass if a pair of strong arms hadn't caught her.

Matt? The fuck?! Wasn't he supposed to be somewhere else?

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she squealed, suddenly feeling very self conscious because she was near enough naked in his arms. And he was definitely naked under that towel that hung precariously low on his hips.

She didn't like being around people when her wall was down.

"Um, this is _my_ room," Matt chuckled as he let her go.

She quickly made her way back to the bed and covered herself.

"I don't think that's necessary, after last night," Matt laughed.

Last night? Her eyes widened as she looked at her friend, who was still lying on the bed they'd shared.

"He's just messing with you," Jeff laughed. "You passed out at the party and I got too drunk waiting for you, um, in the bathroom, so Matt had to carry you up."

"Wait. Party?" she frowned, a sick feeling forming in her stomach.

"Oh, yes," Jeff chuckled. "The after party. You made quite a few friends."

"Friends?" she spat out, not liking that alien word on her tongue.

"Many, many friends," Jeff answered gleefully.

She narrowed her eyes on him, trying to remember what the hell she had done the previous night. She knew how she got on the few occasions she drank. Going to the party would probably have been her idea. But, damn it, Jeff could have stopped her! He knew how she felt about socializing with his colleagues.

"I don't do friends," she said through grit teeth.

"Well, shit. I wish you'd told me that last night before you kissed me," Matt laughed as he walked over to his bed.

"I kissed you?!" she shrieked in disgust.

"I usually get a better reaction than that," he teased.

"Dude, no offence but I don't know you," she snapped, rubbing her temples as she felt her headache getting worse by the second. "Look, I'm getting out of here. I'll call you."

A quick search with her eyes around the room revealed her sweats neatly folded on a chair and the slippers under it, right by Matt's bed. Jeff didn't fold clothes, so Matt had probably done that. She hoped that didn't mean he'd also undressed her.

"Turn your back," she ordered him, waiting until Matt chuckled and turned before leaving the safety of the bed.

"I don't know why you're laughing. This shit ain't funny at all," she snapped at him as she dressed. "It's humiliating."

"Sorry Kitty Kat__"

"You can't call me that!" she snapped, looking at Matt's back. "I don't know you."

In fact, even the few people who knew her she threatened with death if they called her that. Only Jeff got away with it, and that was only because she'd got close to him in a way she hadn't been able to do with anyone in her whole life.

"Sorry," Matt chuckled again.

She frowned and looked over at Jeff, who was now lying on his back with his hands behind his head just watching them with a smile on his face.

"I know he's your brother and all, but if that fool don't stop laughing I'm going to deal with it," she told him.

This only made Matt laugh harder as he turned back round to face her.

"Sorry Katrina. I just find this morning funny after all the sweet nothings you whispered in my ear last night."

"I don't say sweet nothings," she growled.

"You were trying to sleep with me!"

"That would only ever happen in your dreams."

"You told Eve to back off 'cause I was fucking _you_ last night!"

"Did she buy it?"

"Yeah," Matt shrugged. "I had, like, a million missed calls when I woke up."

She rolled her eyes as she grabbed her little bag and put her hat on her head.

"Jeff, wake me up when it's time to go. I need to go lie down."

Jeff got off his bed to open the door for her.

"If anyone says hello, say it back," he ordered.

She scowled up at him as if he was speaking a different language. Why the hell would she say it back? She wasn't trying to make any friends. Especially not among these people who made a habit of stabbing each other in the back.

"Okay," she answered, knowing he wouldn't buy it. "Later."

Before she'd even took a few steps away from him, a loud Latina, one she recognised as a Diva she regularly photographed, hugged her like they were friends and said, "Hey, _chicca_! Last night was fun; we should do it again real soon."

In shock, she could only manage to nod her head before the woman continued on her way. She turned to look at Jeff and saw a wide grin on his face as he leaned on the door frame.

Up ahead, right by the elevator where she wanted to go, a bunch of guys stood. They noticed her and waved at her with calls of 'hey, Kat' and 'hey, gorgeous'.

What the fuck?! Scowling, she turned back and walked into Jeff's room.

"It's a fucking jungle out there!" she shrieked. "Who _are_ those people? Did I kiss them too?"

She didn't normally freak out, indeed, it would have been no hardship to just ignore those guys, but it was starting to sink in just how much of herself she had probably revealed the previous night.

"You might have. I'm not sure, lost track of you for a bit when you went to mingle," Jeff laughed.

"Mingle?!"

"Yeah. Mingle."

With a disgusted shudder, she walked out again, this time going the opposite way to the stairs. Jeff and Matt's laughter followed her until Jeff's door shut behind her.

This was a fucking nightmare.

* * *

"They can all still see you."

She looked up at Shawn and kissed her teeth at him before hiding behind a magazine again. A useless sexist magazine full of stick thin women, wearing next to nothing. But it was doing the job.

Almost a year she had sat next to these people on a lot of flights yet remained invisible. Now they seemed to have nothing better to do than just gawk at her.

"Look. There's Dolph. Poor guy looks like he's hiding from you."

She looked up at Hunter and scrunched up her nose.

"Dolph?"

"Yeah. Dolph Zigler."

She couldn't help bursting into laughter at that one.

"What kind of stupid name is that?" she laughed, looking around to see who bore that unfortunate name.

"I believe you asked him the same question last night," Shawn said.

"Oh, and don't forget how she said his name sounded like something she'd throw up."

"I did? Well, shit, ain't I funny," she said, raising a hand to wave at her new found friend.

Needless to say, Dolph just looked away from her.

"His real name is Nick Nemeth," Shawn grinned.

"What, like I nameth you Shawn?" she asked.

Both Shawn and Hunter burst out laughing.

"Geez, no wonder the man is standing all by his lonesome," she said, this time going as far as to beckon the guy over.

Again, Dolph ignored her. She couldn't help laughing at that.

She was still laughing when some guy took the liberty to take the seat next to hers, the one she'd been reserving for Jeff. It took her a moment to recognise him as half of the weird act that thought everyone should be jealous of them, the ones that looked totally gay.

"Hey, Kat. How's it going?"

She frowned up at him, and then looked at Hunter and Shawn before looking back at him. The nerve of the man!

"What do you want?" She didn't care that she sounded rude.

"Just wanted to say hi," he replied.

Her eyebrows popped up. She'd been in the stupid job so long, under his feet all the time, and now, today, just because she'd made a fool of herself one time, he wanted to say _hi_?

"John. John Morrison. We met last night," he smiled, obviously taking her silence to mean she was pleasantly surprised.

"That seat is saved for someone," she said, picking her magazine up again and ignoring him.

"Oh. Ok. I just thought I'd ask if you wanna grab a meal or something when we land."

"No."

Just because he was pretty, he thought it gave him a ticket to just start talking to people whenever he wanted?

"Um... Okay," John frowned.

Obviously he wasn't used girls turning him down. Well, tough!

"That seat is taken," she repeated, when he didn't make a move quick enough.

He mumbled under his breath as he got up but she didn't catch what he said. She didn't care, really.

"Kat, be nice," Hunter chuckled. "What's so wrong with a meal when we land?"

Besides the fact that she didn't want to? Randy would have a fit! She'd had a few flashbacks of the previous night and figured it was best to cool it for a while until he calmed down.

"Are you kidding me? I'd never go out with a guy prettier than me!"

Except for Randy. He was a whole lot of pretty with some wild animal thrown in. Briefly, she wondered if he was going to call her later that night like he had promised. He was supposed to drop by after the show, but she wasn't so sure now if he would. The guy could hold a grudge longer than anyone she knew! He was like a little bitch that way. Even after the quick but intense fuck in the bathroom, he'd still been pretty angry.

"You don't seem to wanna go out, fullstop."

She frowned but didn't meet his eye. Hunter, of all people, had to understand why she preferred to form no bonds, friendly or otherwise, with anyone.

She was saved from answering when a cup from Starbucks was shoved in her line of vision, and she thanked the gods for bringing Jeff into her life. She'd been dying for a coffee since she'd been rushed out of her room, but hated the machine stuff and hadn't felt up to finding a shop or cafe.

"Real coffee!" she exclaimed as she took the cup that was being offered to her. "Jeff, I love you, man."

"I know," Jeff sighed dramatically as he sat down next to her before nodding to Hunter and Shawn.

It was at this time that she noticed Matt had sat next to him. He grinned at her and winked, making her scowl and look away.

"Why's he sitting with you today?" she asked.

"Because everyone thinks I slept with you last night, so none of the Divas are being particularly friendly to me," Matt said, answering for himself.

She rolled her eyes at this piece of news. She wasn't bothered what people thought, but in this case, it was forcing Matt to invade her space. She didn't like it. Didn't he have other friends? Why would it matter if the Divas said anything, wasn't such stuff supposed to give men big heads and some sort of bragging rights? He should have been over there with the other guys, piling more shit on the fake rumour. Maybe even standing with Dolph. Dolph...

She shook the name out of her head and scowled at Matt.

"Why would they care? Thought that Eve was just your friend."

"It turns out she thought there was more to it," Matt shrugged.

"You're not bothered?" she questioned.

"No. If she felt something for me, she should have said. She should quit playing games and talk to me herself rather than sending her girlfriends to harass me. I'm too old for that shit."

A man who didn't take shit. Well, good for him. She would have done the same thing in his shoes.

She would have told him as much, but she didn't want anyone thinking she was giving out compliments. They might even get some sick idea in their heads that she was open to a friendship with the other Hardy. One was enough.

She looked at Jeff and saw the smirk on his lips as if he could see what she was thinking.

She rolled her eyes and looked away, noticing how Hunter and Shawn seemed to be interested in the conversation as well.

"What, you want me to beat him away with a stick?" she asked dryly.

But they just smirked again.

She didn't own the damned airport; people could sit wherever the fuck they wanted! Unless it was in Jeff's seat. But looking at the guys now, it seemed they thought she was softening a bit.

No chance. She knew only too well what happened when she let her guard down.

"I'm going to find Steph. She's taking too long with the fucking donuts," she mumbled as she put the magazine down and got to her feet.

She made sure her hood was up, shadowing her face, and that the music on her I-pod was loud enough for her to ignore whoever decided to talk to her next.

* * *

Jeff chuckled as he watched Kat walk away. She wasn't hiding from anyone, but she didn't exactly look approachable, either. Much like she'd always been. But the difference now was that she wasn't invisible.

He could see the many eyes that followed her, wondering who the hell she was, remembering the gorgeous, carefree creature from the previous night, trying to reconcile that image with this one. And he could see them whispering, spreading the gossip they were so famous for, which would no doubt come back to him all twisted, completely different from the original rumour.

"What did I miss?" Matt frowned, looking at Kat as well.

Because he didn't know Kat, he wouldn't have known that her actions had a very significant undertone.

"She's decided you can stay," he answered.

"Huh?"

He smiled at his brother, pulling the book Hunter had given him out of his bag.

"She's trying not to like you. She was dying to say something nasty to you, but you said that stuff about Eve and it was exactly how she would have handled it," he explained.

"And you got all this from the few words she spoke to me?"

"She's quite easy to read," he shrugged.

It was his turn to be gawked at. Shawn looked at him as if he'd said something crazy while Hunter's look was more speculative.

"What? She is," he said.

"It took me years to work out that when she insulted me she actually meant it, and that when she's frowning at me she's wishing I would just keel up and die at her feet," Shawn muttered. "How did you work her out so fast?"

He chuckled at the older man's words. He'd seen how the two of them were together. Kat tried her best to remain distant but Shawn always seemed to get around her wall. She didn't like liking him at all, so she found Shawn quite irritating.

"What can I say? I'm gifted," he chuckled.

"Yes, you are," Hunter mused. "Does she... talk to you?"

He frowned a bit at this. No, she didn't really talk to him. Not about the things that mattered.

"She talks about you guys a lot," he answered. "Never about herself. Sometimes she starts to, but then stops, like she's afraid. I don't know why she'd feel like that, I told her she could trust me with anything. But I don't push her."

It didn't take a genius to guess how hard she must have had it, before she found Hunter. He knew that much about her, how she'd met him when she was really young, before Steph, before even all the glory Hunter now had with the WWE. But he still couldn't work out why and how they'd become family. Had Hunter adopted her?

Hunter nodded and looked away, as if he suddenly understood something.

"How's that book coming?" Hunter asked as he started fiddling with his phone.

"I didn't get to read much of it last night before Kat came."

Honestly, he'd read a few pages and found the book quite horrific, even though it made him want to turn the next page. If it was a work of fiction, he would have thought how brilliant the author was for coming up with such disturbing but compelling stuff. People were always drawn to the dark stuff. But he knew it was based on a true story, and as much as he found himself dreading the horror that was certainly coming for the heroine in the book, he wanted to get to the end just to make sure she came out of it alright.

"You can take as much time with it as you want," Hunter said.

He had no idea why Hunter had thought to lend him the book in the first place. It was a depressing read.

"Thanks," he said, looking down at the book in his hands, adding silently, "I think."

Then he sighed and found his bookmark.

******

_CHAPTER 2_

_The day I turned nine all of that flew out of the window. No more loving daddy, no more adoring big brother, no security._

_I woke up, expecting the big presents I always got on my special day. Dad never spared any expense when it came to me, I was his little angel. My big room was filled with evidence of his love for me. Or so I thought. I never questioned why my brother never got as much as me. In my mind, we were just one big happy family, even if my older brother had a different mother. _

_It took me years to realise why, on the morning that was supposed to be special, I found myself thrown out into the streets, literally, with my mother. It was like the scene of a really bad, low budget mystery. It was chilly and wet. My mother kept screaming, 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I made a mistake,' while my dad kept throwing our belongings in the puddles at the end of the driveway, calling her names my young mind didn't understand._

_I'd never seen anyone beg the way my mother did, and I'd never seen anyone as angry as my father was. He'd literally turned into a monster right in front of my eyes. _

_His last words, before he walked back onto his property and locked the gate, were, 'Years you've held her over my head... you ruined my family for nothing. So take the brat. If I see either of you on my doorstep again, I _will_ kill you.'_

_I may not have understood anything else, but I understood that. My daddy didn't want me anymore. My daddy would kill me._

_It was years later, when my mind lost its innocent a long time after my body did, that I understood the words he had said to Mother. I had been unwanted from the very beginning, yet had been used as a weapon against him. My greedy mother had used me to steal Dad away from his wife, to take my brother away from his mother. She had used me to insure she always got the best of everything. She had used me to keep herself in the life she had schemed and whored her way into._

_And that day, on my ninth birthday, the truth came out. Daddy was not my daddy. Daddy never loved me. I was never his child, the way my brother was. I still have no clue who my real dad is, but he was the only one I'd ever known. The day he kicked us out, I think he tried to make it right with his first wife. He tried to erase us, as if we'd never existed. And he succeeded._

_So that left me with just my mother. On that day, all the smiles she'd once given me disappeared. I realised then that they had never been genuine. My own mother had no love for me. For a nine year old, it was quite heartbreaking. It would have been heartbreaking, whatever age I'd have been. She didn't want me there with her, now that she could no longer use me. But I followed her anyway. I was nine, she was my mother; what else was I supposed to do?_

_Sometimes she'd throw me scraps of food when she'd had her fill, but most times, I went to bed hungry. And I use the term bed loosely. Dark alleys, under bridges, doorways... She made us sleep in the worst possible filth. She wouldn't actually sleep, of course. She'd leave me with our belongings in the rough streets for me to watch over while she went to work. I didn't realise then, what she meant by that, but I knew whatever they were paying her certainly wasn't being used to keep me clothed, fed and sheltered. I'm quite sure I never saw a cent of what she made at 'work'._

_I hated it when she left me alone, even though when she was with me, I was still alone. She was all that I knew, the only thing that was familiar in this new scary world my daddy had banished us into. Everything was big and scary here. There were other kids, but whenever I was left alone, they would come and take whatever I had that they thought was of value. Even the older people, who should have known better, did this. Before long, I only had the clothes that were on my back. Mother didn't care. I had to fend for myself._

_I kept thinking of my daddy more and more. I kept thinking of my brother, of the warm bed I used to have, all my lovely, expensive coats and jackets, my warm clothes. The night I finally had enough, I was starving, wet from the rain that had seemed to fall for days and exhausted because I could never sleep with all the scary people lurking in the shadows. I wanted to go home. Surely my daddy hadn't meant it when he'd said he'd kill me. I was his little girl. He loved me. He would never have let me go if he'd known what my fate was._

_So I went to look for my mother to tell her I was leaving. I remembered overhearing her talking to this one woman who slept near us, telling her where she worked. I knew the city pretty well by then, it had been at least six months since I'd started this torturous life on the streets. It didn't take long to find the road she'd mentioned, but I got slightly confused when I got there. It didn't look like anywhere my mother would work. Most of the shops looked like they were closed down, and there ones still open looked really scary. There seemed to be very dark bars, with loud music blasting from them and many people lurking outside._

_Did my mum work in one of these places? It was horrible to even imagine. What could she possible do here? All my life, she'd been a perfectly made up woman with expensive tastes. She would never have set foot in a place like this._

_But then I remembered how drastically our lives had changed. Bracing myself, I walked down the street, keeping to the shadows as much as I could. Noone seemed to notice me, and if they did, they ignored me. I'd seen my mother drunk enough times to realise that most of these people were too. I heard more words I'd never heard before as I watched a group of men standing around two half naked women. They were looking at them like pieces of meat, even touching them as they made lewd jokes. The women didn't seem to mind, they actually looked like they were enjoying it. It shocked me. How could anyone enjoy it when someone was being nasty to them? It was a short time later when I learned why they liked it when men paid them this sort of attention. It meant a few bucks at the end of it._

_I walked away from this scene as quick as I could, but soon found that all my efforts to find mother were thwarted. Big men stood in all of the doorways, blocking my entrance. The only place I was allowed into was the little coffee shop at the end of the road, but mother wasn't in there. I was about to give up when I heard very weird noises coming from the alley I was walking past. I didn't realise then what the noise was, and I certainly didn't realise I would hear these sounds for on a quite regular basis for the next few years._

_Curious, because it sounded like a cat was dying, I slowly walked down the alley. But instead of a cat, I saw my mother._

_She was on her knees and looked and sounded as if she was choking on something. There was a man standing right in front of her, and my innocent mind thought, 'Why isn't he helping? Why is he letting my mother die?'_

_I did the only thing I could think of. My mother was the only person I had left, my only family. I couldn't let her leave me. So I ran to her to try to save her._

_What did I learn on TV? Was I supposed to stomp on her chest? Her back? I hadn't been back at school since I left my daddy, but before I'd left, I'd watched my fair share of mummy's TV programs, like the medical ones she liked so much that fascinated me. I'd always thought I'd go on to become a doctor or something, saving people's lives and stuff._

_But I got to my mother and she seemed less than pleased that I was trying to save her. In fact, she pushed me off her and I hit my head hard on a wall as I landed. I was very confused._

_It was only as the man sneered and looked at me that I realised what mother was doing. If my stomach had had anything in it, I'd surely have lost it._

"_Who's your little friend Trixie?" the man asked, pushing my mother off him._

_I didn't like the way he looked at me. I was too young to understand what that look meant, but it made me panic._

"_Her name's Grace," my mother said as she wiped her mouth._

"_She's quite a looker. The exotic ones are always the best."_

_My mother flashed me a look as if she was jealous of me. I couldn't understand it. My mother was beautiful; striking blue eyes, long brown hair and skin the colour of chocolate milk. I'd always wanted to look like her but dad had explained to me why that would never be. I would always look oriental, because I had part of him in me. Well, I had part of my father in me, anyway. _

_Then the look turned to hatred. It still hurt me when she looked at me like this. She was supposed to love me, to protect me._

"_How much?" Mother asked._

_The man looked at my mother nervously. _

"_That shit gets people locked up for good," the man said._

"_The shit you already do can get you the death sentence," my mother said._

_I didn't understand what they were talking about but I still didn't like it. I was very scared and ready to run. I would have, too, if mother hadn't come to stand over me. She pulled me up to my feet, and before I knew what was happening, she lifted the thin dress that was no protection from the elements anyway, and pushed me closer to the man._

_I was horrified. I tried to struggle but mother backhanded me. In the end I had no choice but to stand there while the dirty man looked at my exposed body._

"_If you breathe a word about it, I'll kill you," the man growled._

_I had a feeling my fate had been sealed. My mother discussed numbers with him. And times. _

_It was only after this happened a few times that I realised she was selling me for a certain amount of money for a limited time. Each time, I got more expensive._

_But this time, this first time, I came quite cheap._

_This became the worst day of my life, worse than when my daddy threw us out._

_But, of course, I was only nine. I had a hell of a lot of time for worse things to happen to me._

_I lost my innocence in a dark alley, on a cold, wet night, with my mother watching as she smoked a cigarette. I'd never felt such pain. When I screamed, I was punched in the face to keep quiet. My body was twisted up in unnatural ways as the dirty man did unnatural things to my body. He invaded my very soul, filled it with his stench. He was too heavy on top of me for me to struggle, but I felt every movement he made. I couldn't breathe. _

_I thought he was killing me. I thought he was stabbing me. I thought any second the pain would stop as I closed my eyes for the last time. I thought these painful breaths were to be my last._

_But they weren't. _

_I was just starting to pass out when he rolled off me. He said I was delightfully bendy and mother laughed. It must have been only a few minutes, but it had felt like hours while I'd been trapped under him, while my little legs had been twisted in awkward ways. _

_I didn't understand what had happened to me. I couldn't understand why my own mother had just watched while this man brought me pain._

_This is how my story started. On this night, my life became more than a nightmare, it became hell. _

_******_

"Want a donut, Jeff?"

He looked up from the book to see Steph offering him one.

"Er.. no, thanks," he answered, looking back at the book to see if his eyes hadn't been playing tricks on him.

How could this story get any worse?

"You alright there, Jeff?"

He looked up at Hunter and frowned, thinking again why Hunter would have given him this book to read. It wasn't his thing at all. But now that he'd started, he felt compelled to finish it in the hopes that it had a happy ending.

"Yeah," he lied. "Um, where's Kat? We'll be boarding soon."

"She was in the music shop," Steph answered.

"I'll go find her," he said quickly as he put the book back in his bag and stood up. "Need to stretch my legs."

He pulled his hood up the way Kat had done hers and walked off, deep in thought. It angered him when he heard about such cruelty, but to actually live the pain through the victim's eyes... It was heartbreaking.

* * *

"Hunter, what did you do?" Steph sighed.

Hunter looked at the young man who was walking away and sighed, too. When he'd given Jeff the book the previous night, he'd wished he could take it back. But he'd had time to think about it now, and he'd watched Jeff as he'd read the book. It was the only thing he could have done.

"He needs to know," he answered.

It was true. Jeff was close to her, and it had taken him a shorter time than all of them to gain Kat's trust. That had to mean something, didn't it? Maybe he was the one who would finally help her heal.

"Kat's going to kill you," Shawn muttered.

Matt was stuck in a book of his own, but they were being quiet just in case he could hear them.

"I know," he sighed.

"What if she decides she doesn't want to be friends with him, once he knows?" Steph asks. "He's been so good for her, what if she goes back into herself again?"

He hadn't thought about that. Would Kat give her one friend up if he knew of her past? She probably would. That may have been the reason she'd kept him in the dark in the first place.

"I'll talk to him," he said. "I'll tell him to keep the book away from her."

"How will you do that without explaining why?" Shawn asked.

Fuck it! He'd just take the book back now.

He reached for Jeff's bag where he'd left it but paused when he saw Matt's eyes on him.

"What you doing there, H?" Matt asked, closing his book.

He was sure he looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Um... thought I heard Kat's phone in there. She always forgets it with Jeff when they hang out," he lied.

Matt frowned but shrugged, as if to say he wasn't really bothered about it anyway, and opened his book again.

By then, it was too late to get the book. He saw Jeff and Kat walking back, Jeff with his arm over her shoulders and whispering something in her ear as they looked at a couple of CDs. She laughed at whatever Jeff said, and he found himself wondering how Jeff would react once he found out Kat was Grace. Would _he_ be the one to walk away from the friendship?

For Kat's sake, he hoped not.

* * *

**Well, there you go. Thank you very much for reviewing the last chapter. Hope you review this one, too, let me know what you think about poor Grace now. Obviously, I'm not going to describe those scenes, but I just had to write a few things about what was going through her head as the monster did this. I think all the monsters who put innocent children through this should be hung!**


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm going to take a shower. Wanna join me?"

Randy bit back the rough words that had been threatening to spill from his mouth all day. He'd had to apologise for snapping at her at the party and that was something he didn't want to have to do again so soon.

"No, go ahead, honey. I'm just going to put my feet up for a while," he answered with a fake smile.

Maria smiled back at him as she found her toiletry bag in her bag before walking into the bathroom.

With an angry growl, he walked over to the minibar and grabbed a beer before he threw himself down on the bed.

How had things got so fucked up in such a short space of time? One minute, Kat was his secret, the next her name was on everybody's lips.

And to top it all off, he'd spent the whole flight listening to Maria and her friends commiserate with Eve. As he'd heard the words pouring out of their lips, he'd just wanted to find Matt and hurt him. Slept with Kat? _His_ Kat? No. It couldn't be true.

But he'd looked over to where Kat was sitting and found that Matt was indeed part of the little group she normally sat with, talking to them, laughing with them. Like he was now part of the freaking family.

He growled again as he fought the urge to hunt Kat down. He was too angry to confront her, he'd only make a scene and it would get back to Maria. But he didn't like this feeling that he wasn't in control anymore. Katrina was making him feel things he didn't want to feel. Like jealousy. Why the hell would he be jealous of who she spent her time with when she wasn't with him? It wasn't his business. They did what they did when they were together then went their separate ways, to their separate lives. If she wanted to fuck other people, she could. God knew he fucked enough women, himself.

And yet, not one time was he ever bothered who they fucked afterwards. Why the hell was Kat different?

And how was he supposed to stop it?

He growled again, no closer to finding an answer.

He heard the shower stop running and kicked his shoes off, knowing how Maria hated it when he wore them whilst on the bed. She hated a lot of things. But he could change that once she was his wife.

And just like that, he got his answer.

He had the perfect way to get his control back.

* * *

"Angie, I'll be home tomorrow, late afternoon," he sighed as he dropped himself on his bed.

"_You're supposed to be off for two weeks."_

"And I am. I just have to tape a couple of promos for next week and that's it, I'm all yours till Armageddon."

"_So you're not spending an extra night away just so you can be with some other girl?"_

He looked over at Kat, who was on the other bed, leafing through a magazine.

"No, I'm not. I love you, why can't you just accept that?"

He was getting a headache. Every day was the same story, and as much as it pissed him off, it hurt him even more. She was the woman he'd chosen to spend eternity with yet she couldn't bring herself to trust him.

"_I know you love me," _Angie sighed_. "It's just hard for me, knowing all those beautiful women you work with are near you every single moment. I get a bit insecure."_

"I could never look at anyone else, baby. And I'm not just saying that. When I come home tomorrow, I'll show you how much you mean to me," he said.

He let his mind wander for a moment as he thought of all the ways he was going to show her. Angie was incredible in bed. That wasn't why he loved her, but it helped a damn lot! He got hot just thinking about it.

He caught Kat looking at him, a sly smile on her lips, and cleared his throat.

"Baby, I'll call you later, okay?"

"_Alright, sweetheart. I love you."_

"I love you, too."

The moment he hung up, Kat burst out laughing.

"Don't," he warned, getting off the bed and heading for the bathroom.

He needed a really cold shower.

Her laughter followed him the whole way. She was still chuckling when he walked back into the room, a towel around his body.

"Damn, Hardy," she said.

"I said don't," he repeated as he started ruffling through his bag for some fresh clothes.

He was well aware of the effect his girlfriend had on him. It wasn't a crime.

Besides, who was she to talk? He'd seen her often enough whenever she went anywhere near Orton, like she'd cum on the spot.

He found a pair of jeans and t-shirt, quickly pulled them on, not bothering to see if she was looking because he knew she wouldn't.

"So we have a free day. What do you want to do?"

All three brands were travelling together because Vince was trying out something new. He was starting feuds across the brands, hoping to boost the ratings for the flagging shows.

He was in the running for the gold, so he pretty much stuck to Smackdown and his feud with Edge.

"Wanna go watch a movie?" Kat suggested.

"Sounds good," he said as he reached for his shoes. "But lets get something to eat first."

Matt walked in that moment, smiling when he saw Kat on his bed.

"You waiting for me, sweetheart?" he teased.

He saw the way Kat ignored his brother, even though there was a frown on her face and her shoulders noticeably tensed. It would take her a while to relax around Matt, he knew that. He only wished he knew why she had to be like that.

"We're going to watch a movie," he said, hoping to divert his brother's attention. "We might do something else after, so don't worry if I'm late back."

It felt great not having to lie about his whereabouts for a change.

"A bunch of us are going out, I probably won't be here myself anyway," Matt said. "We're celebrating. Maria and Randy just got engaged."

His eyes immediately flew to Kat. If his brother had been watching, he probably would have noticed how his words had affected her, but he was busy pulling some clothes out of his bag. But _he_ was watching. He saw the way her little lips parted as if she was shocked, saw the was the colour left her cheeks, saw the way her hands trembled a little as her grip tightened on the magazine.

He couldn't see her eyes, but he knew they would betray a lot more.

"Awesome," he said quickly as he grabbed his wallet and room key before pulling her up. "See you later then."

He'd pulled her out of the door before Matt could say another word, but the moment he turned to face her, he could tell she'd already buried whatever she'd been feeling. She looked perfectly fine.

"Um... Wanna talk about this?" he asked, even though he knew the answer.

"'Bout what?"

"Orton's engaged."

"I heard. So?" she shrugged. "It's not as if we didn't see this coming."

"Yeah, but___"

"Are we going to eat, or what? I'm starving."

With this Katrina walked away to the elevators and pushed the button. He sighed and followed. Obviously, this was going to be filed under 'Things We Do Not Talk About' with the million other things.

He waited until the elevator was moving before he asked, "Does this mean you're not going to see him again?"

"He's committed to someone now. No, I can't see him."

He knew how she felt about this, but he'd had to ask anyway, just to make sure. Katrina didn't see committed men; it didn't matter that they were just engaged, the fact that they'd promised to spend the rest of their lives with someone was enough.

Randy had officially ended his relationship with her.

He couldn't help but be happy about this. Orton didn't deserve a woman like Kitty Kat. After a while, she'd see this, too. She wasn't shitting him, he knew she was devastated. But she'd bounce back and find someone better. He'd make sure of that.

* * *

Katrina knew Jeff could see right through her but to his credit, he didn't bring Orton up again. She didn't think she would have handled it very well if he had. It was hard enough sitting at the table with him, eating her food as if her world hadn't just collapsed on top of her.

God, why was Randy doing this now? She still needed him. Why would he suddenly decide to propose to that slut now? She'd thought they had something. Had he not felt it too? No. No, that wasn't it. There was no way he'd faked how she made him feel. She'd had enough experience in her life to know that shit she gave him was really good.

Randy was... had been her first. Not literally, of course, but he was the first she'd chosen out of her own free will. Sex had been nothing but a disgusting money making chore before him and he'd made it enjoyable again. He'd made her feel normal. And for some reason, even though he always said he'd pick Maria, a part of her had thought he was just blowing out hot air. She'd really thought that, when it came down to it, he'd realise what they had and pick her.

She would have said no, of course. She wasn't in that place yet; she wasn't whole enough to do a relationship the way it was supposed to. She was happy enough to play the mistress for a while, with all the hot sex and none of the responsibilities.

She'd chosen to be Randy's mistress. Well, it wasn't so much that she'd chosen him but that her body had chosen him. She'd never felt like that for anyone before or since. He'd brought her to life.

And now he was throwing her away.

"You okay, Kitty Kat?"

She looked up from her coffee to smile at her friend.

"Of course," she lied.

"The movie starts in a little while. You still up for that or do you want to go get drunk back at the hotel?"

"The last time I got drunk I made friends with a lot of your idiot friends. Until they all get the message that I don't even like them, I don't think I'll be drinking again," she muttered. "It's bad enough your brother thinks we're now friends just because I kissed him."

Oh, God! The kiss. Randy was probably still angry about that. So was he punishing her for it?

She'd never come out and told him that the moment he made his relationship with Maria official she'd leave him. She'd always thought she had plenty of time before that happened. Was he expecting her to go into some jealous rage and beg him to end it with Maria?

"You and Matt are more alike than you think. He'll grow on you," Jeff chuckled.

"I'm nothing like that man!" she said with a frown.

Jeff laughed as he signalled for their bill.

"Come on. I don't want to miss the beginning of the movie," he said as he helped her out of her chair.

But even the movie, with all its blood and gore, failed to keep her mind off Randy. How was she going to let him go?

In the middle of the movie, Jeff pulled her to him and asked her if she was ready to go. Obviously, he'd caught her lack of interest in the film. She should have known better than think she could hide it from him.

Only fifteen minutes later, they were walking back into the hotel, arms around each other as always.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" she asked him.

"In the afternoon. I'm doing the promo in the morning," Jeff answered.

Great. She wouldn't even have her crutch to get her through the next few days. She'd never told Jeff how much his presence in her life meant to him –since she'd perfected the art of being clingy without being clingy - but she had a feeling he knew. She almost wished she could ask him to stay, but she knew he had his own life to worry about.

"I'm going to miss you," she whispered, knowing he'd know from this statement how much she was going to need him.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

"I'll be a phonecall away," he whispered back, even though he probably knew she wouldn't call him.

The elevator door opened and he ushered her in and pressed the button to her floor.

"I think, seeing as this is our last night together for a couple of weeks, we should spend it alone in your room," he said. "Matt won't walk in and out, disturbing us, then."

She knew he meant they were spending the night in her room tonight just in case she broke down. He knew her well enough to know if she did, she wouldn't want Matt or anyone watching her. Well, he should also have known that she wasn't going to allow herself to break down at all.

"Yes. I'll be real glad to have a break from that Matt."

She said his brother's name as if it was a disease.

Jeff chuckled and leaned back against the elevator wall, pulling her back to him just as someone held the doors open.

The irritating giggle told her who it was before she actually saw them. Maria and Randy.

Just her luck!

She tensed as her breath caught in her throat, but her years of experience allowed her to hide her feelings. She wasn't ready to deal with this.

"Hey, Jeff," Maria said as Randy pressed a button for their floor.

Of course. That slut was one of Jeff's friends. How could he even stand her?

"Hey," Jeff answered.

"Have you heard the news?" Maria asked, holding her hand up to reveal the biggest rock Kat had ever seen.

Orton certainly wasn't cheap. Not that she'd know from experience, of course. He'd never actually taken her out or bought her anything.

"Matt mentioned it," Jeff answered. "Um, congratulations."

She thought it was rude that the redhead didn't even acknowledge her, but that was the least of her worries. Randy was looking right at her, above Maria's head. He had a smirk on his face as if he was enjoying throwing Maria in her face.

Jeff noticed this too and wrapped his arms tighter around her, a fact which didn't go unnoticed by Randy. His eyes narrowed coldly on her, and immediately, the anguish that had been threatening to consume her was replaced by anger. How dare he get angry at her for Jeff's innocent gesture when he had Maria hanging on his arm!

"So, Jeff. How's Angela?" Maria asked, obviously having noticed Jeff's possessive hold, too.

"She's alright," Jeff answered.

"I haven't spoken to her in a while. I think she and I should catch up," Maria said.

The little bitch! She didn't miss the veiled threat behind those words, and by the tension she felt in Jeff's body, he didn't either.

"I'll tell her to expect your call when I see her tomorrow," Jeff answered easily.

"Please do," Maria smiled again.

She didn't understand this. Wasn't Maria Jeff's friend, too? Why would she want to cause unnecessary problems for him? She didn't know much about Angie, but from the few phonecalls she'd sat in on, that was one very insecure woman. No doubt, mentioning another woman would conjure all sorts of images in her head.

The doors opened on her floor and Jeff ushered her out, only stopping briefly to say, "Oh, but if you speak to her tonight, tell her I'm with Katrina and I won't be able to call her till the morning."

She didn't miss the look of confusion on the redhead's face as the doors closed.

"Nice," she chuckled as she walked with him to her door.

If Maria thought Angela already knew about her, she wouldn't be so eager to spread any viscous rumours to her.

"I'd like to think so," Jeff chuckled, too, as he grabbed her keycard and opened the door. "So grab a bottle of wine, I'm going to run you a bath."

"Why?" she asked, sniffing her armpits.

"Because I want you all nice and relaxed when I give you my world famous massage," Jeff chuckled, pushing her towards the mini bar.

She did as she was told without arguing. She normally had to threaten or bribe Jeff for one of his massages, so no, he wasn't getting an argument out of her even though she knew he was doing it to get her mind of Randy. She didn't really need him pampering her, she had her own ways to get over emotional traumas, but if this would ease his mind before he left her the next day, then 'Go, Jeff, Go!"

By the time she walked into the bathroom, the whirlpool tub was half full and Jeff was pouring all sorts of salts in it. Vince always made sure she got the best rooms wherever they stopped. He said it was because he wanted to make sure she was comfortable but she was sure it was just because he was afraid of pissing her off. Honestly, why would the guy think she was scary?

"Strip and get in," Jeff ordered once he decided the water was just right. "I'll get the music."

She was settled in the relaxing bath with the bubbles covering everything once Jeff came back with her I-pod on its speakers and set it next to the wash basin.

"I'm in the mood for a bit of Pearl Jam. That okay?"

"That's just so... white of you," she teased with a smile as she sank a bit lower in the tub and let the hot water work its magic.

"Shut up. You're the biggest Pearl Jam whore I know," Jeff chuckled as the music came on.

He poured both of them a glass of wine and handed her one before he sat down on the floor with his.

Jeff was a sweet guy. She'd never had anyone do the things he did for her, the little stuff that really mattered. How had she been lucky enough to meet him?

"I can stay, you know," she heard him whisper.

"Don't be fucking ridiculous. Go home to your girlfriend."

"You need me___"

"I don't need anyone," she snapped, opening her eyes to meet his emerald ones. "I'm fine. You think a little dickwart like Orton will break me? I can get another Orton in a minute, don't sweat it. It was nothing but sex, anyway."

Of course, being who he was, he could probably see through her bullshit but she was happy he didn't call her on it.

"Alright," Jeff smiled. "I'm going to get some stuff from my room. Will you be alright?"

"Of course," she answered.

She waited until she heard the door close before she let the tears drop. Fucking Orton. What was she supposed to do now?

* * *

Jeff lit the last candle and surveyed the room. The candlelight gave it the relaxing ambience he'd hoped for and the lotions and oils he'd grabbed from his room were next to the bed.

"You ready to come out, yet?" he called out. "That water must be cold by now."

"I'm coming," Kat called out.

She didn't look him in the eyes when she finally came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around herself, but he didn't need to see her eyes to know that she'd been crying. He'd heard her when he came in, although she'd tried to hide her sniffles behind coughs.

Why did she feel like she had to be strong all the time? It was okay to cry. It was okay to show if you were hurt or sad. It was okay to need someone else.

"Wow. You're going all out here, aren't you?" she said when she looked around the room after she'd pulled on a pair of panties under her towel.

"Just to make sure you really miss me when I'm gone," he smiled as he helped her onto the bed.

Then he put the cartoon channel on before he stripped down to his boxers. He never gave massages with his clothes on. And Kat was the only other person, beside Angie, who he did this for. But he didn't need his underwear on when he massaged Angie.

So before long, he was straddling her lower back, rubbing his scented oil in his palms. He always started with the top, working her neck, shoulders and her arms until he got all her kinks before he worked his way down. And everytime, the perfect lines of her body held him captive.

This time was no different. Her little sighs of contentment escaped his ears as he ran his hands over her body. He was too entranced to notice them, to notice anything.

So beautiful.

Such a work of art.

It had been completely wasted on Orton.

His hands slowly travelled down as he moved himself down her body so he was straddling her thighs, with her lace covered butt right in front of him. He knew anyone walking in that moment would have assumed the wrong thing but he didn't care. There was nothing sexual about his feelings for his friend. She just fascinated him, the way any work of art would fascinate him. And, as with any work of art, the temptation to touch and feel was always there. This was always his favourite part. He'd work from the side of her breast down to the indent of her waist before going back up the middle of her back.

"I love your hands, Hardy," he heard. "Maybe I should make you my slave."

"I think you did that months ago," he chuckled.

"Yeah, but I could make it official," she said sleepily.

Chuckling again, he moved lower still. He didn't do things by half. Full body massage, that was his specialty.

He worked the right leg first, his fingers gently massaging the muscles in her thigh, tracing the thorny tattoo before he finally moved down to her calf and foot. Even her little toes were cute. And that wasn't a word he'd ever used to describe anybody's toes before.

"Mmmm."

"Don't start enjoying yourself too much now. This ain't that sort of massage," he joked as he started on the other leg.

"As if," she chuckled.

"What's that supposed to mean? If I was interested in you that way, you'd be one very lucky girl," he said with mock annoyance.

"You'd be the lucky one, Hardy. Don't you forget it," she said, a little smile playing on her lips as he turned her over.

She clutched her towel to her naked chest and lifted one leg lazily to place it on his lap.

It didn't take long to do her front. He worked steadily from her ankles to the top of her thighs, gently massaging and stroking her muscles. She had her eyes closed and she was still smiling. He knew that meant Orton had been placed on the back burner for now, so at least he was doing something right.

"You worried about seeing Angie tomorrow?" she asked.

"Nah. Everything's okay when I get home. It's when I'm about to leave that she goes crazy."

He never really talked about Angie with her, not because it was awkward or anything, but relationships and feelings never featured much in their conversations.

Finally, he finished and dropped himself down next to her.

"I hate to say this, but that was actually so much better than sex," Kat stated.

"Of course. I have magic hands, remember," he teased. "Now, since you're all relaxed and shit, I suggest we get into bed before you fall asleep and I'll put a movie on or something."

"But I can't move. You've turned me into jelly," she whined.

"Lazy," he chuckled as he picked her up and placed her the right way round on the bed.

He went into the bathroom to wash the oil off his hands, even though he thought it was a bit pointless because Kat would have oil all over the bedding come morning.

She was nodding off when he walked back into the room and fast asleep before he'd even picked one of her DVDs to watch. At least now she wouldn't have to think about Orton till the morning.

Sighing sadly, he switched the TV off before he walked over to the bed and covered her properly. Then he got into the bed next to her and he reached into the bag he'd brought up to pull out his book.

Kat would be fine. Orton was not worth getting broken over. He wasn't a real problem, not like the problems the heroine Grace had. Grace had tried to commit suicide before the age of eleven. And that was only in the sixth chapter of the book. God knew what else she'd endure before he finally read the end.

Yes, Kitty Kat would be fine.

* * *

**AN/ Thank you so much for you reviews ShannonxMoore'sxLoverx, xSamiliciousx, Breathe Artistic and cenasy2jortongurl45, I'm glad you're enjoying the story. It isn't an easy theme to write.**

**Much love.**


	6. Chapter 6

She hadn't come begging him. She wasn't jealous.

Of course she wasn't jealous; she had Jeff fucking Hardy fucking her now. And probably his idiot brother, too.

"I've always dreamt of getting married on a beach," Maria said as she ate her breakfast.

"Don't be fucking ridiculous," he snapped.

What kind of dignified people got married on a beach? He wasn't a bum. They'd get married the right way. In a church with a big reception afterwards.

If they got married at all.

He looked away from his coffee to see Maria's lip quivering like she was about cry. He rolled his eyes and pushed his coffee away. He had no time for this bullshit.

"I'm going to find Ted and Cody," he said as he got up from the table. "We have things to discuss before we catch our plane."

He didn't stop to hear if she had anything else to say to that and he certainly didn't check if the tears had spilt.

Fucking women! Why did they have to make everything so complicated?

As he walked out of the hotel restaurant, he stopped in his tracks when he saw Katrina hanging on Jeff's arm as they walked to the exit. She was laughing, looking all happy and shit. No doubt Hardy had done his best to make her forget about him. He'd been that close to storming down to her room the previous night just to stand outside and listen if they were actually sleeping together. Kat was very loud when she was in the throes of passion. The whole floor would probably have heard her.

"Hey, Randy."

He looked up to see the other faction members walking up to him.

"Hey."

"Is Jeff really doing her?" Cody asked as he noticed whom he had been staring at.

"I would. She's hot," Ted smirked as the duo finally exited the building. "I wonder where he's been hiding her all this time."

He clenched his fists to stop himself from punching his friends.

"What you guys doing?" he asked, desperately needing a change of subject.

"We're heading out in a while. Wanna grab a drink or something while we wait?" Ted asked.

"Why not," he sighed.

It would keep his mind off Katrina for a little while and it would also keep him away from Maria.

They headed for the bar. It was only nine in the morning, but what the heck?

* * *

Matt watched his brother hug his friend one last time before he walked through the security gates. They'd been clinging to each other a lot since he met up with them at the arena to pick Jeff up, and if he hadn't known any better, he would have thought his brother really didn't want to go home.

And his instructions didn't help matters. He was supposed to keep an eye on her until he got back. He was supposed to keep her company. He was supposed to call him if he thought something was really wrong.

He already thought there was a lot wrong with Katrina. But he didn't know her well enough to know what it was. But Jeff obviously did, even though he hadn't been forthcoming with that information. It was all very weird. Their whole relationship was weird. The few times he'd had the chance to watch them together since the night of the Pay-Per-View, he'd noticed how attuned they were to each other. And how Katrina seemed to just relax, almost as if she were a different person from the one who threw him black looks any chance she got. Jeff seemed different as well but he couldn't quiet put a finger on how, yet.

The moment Jeff waved for the last time before he disappeared out of their sight, Katrina pulled her hood back over her head and turned around to face him.

"We have a few hours before the show. Wanna do something?" he asked.

"With you?"

She said it as if spending time with him would be the worst thing in the world. Boy, this little lady would certainly bruise his ego.

"We could grab lunch or something."

"Thanks, but I'm good. Let's just go back to the hotel."

She walked ahead of him towards the entrance and he shrugged. He'd tried, right? He could tell Jeff that much.

The drive back, she looked out her window most of the way. The only time she looked at him was when he asked her something and she scowled or snapped at him to mind his own damned business.

"How are you and Jeff friends? Jeff is the nicest guy anyone would ever meet," he frowned as he kept his eyes on the road.

"Are you saying I'm not good enough for your brother?" she asked, turning so her eyes were spitting fire at him.

He'd certainly touched a nerve. What the hell was wrong with this woman?

"Frankly, you're not. I've known you a few days and you've been nothing but a cold bitch. I just don't see why Jeff hangs out with you," he answered honestly.

Maybe honesty wasn't the best way to go. She looked ready to physically attack him, but instead she grabbed her phone from the dashboard.

"Stop the fucking car," she growled.

"Why?"

"I said stop it."

"Don't be stupid. We're two minutes from the hotel_"

"And if I spend another second with you I won't be held responsible for what I do."

He shook his head and smirked as he stepped on the gas. Women and their fucking hysterics. He'd had enough of it lately, what with the whole Eve situation.

* * *

It was a bad idea to anger her. He knew this now.

His rental car was smashed at the front from when he'd crashed into the other car, the parked car, and he'd probably have two black eyes by the evening. He could already feel the swelling.

Not to mention he'd been crippled by her blow between his legs as he'd angrily yanked her door open to pull her out.

Now he was rolling on the ground like a dick while a little crowd gathered. He was sure a few of them had taken photos. No doubt they would be on the net in a little while.

Fucking bitch.

How _was_ Jeff friends with such a person?

* * *

Katrina half heartedly did her job that night. She was sure all she had were photos of boots and elbows, maybe a bit of hair. Vince would certainly have something to say about that. She probably should have just stayed in her room but the last thing she wanted was to be alone with her thoughts. She knew Randy had already gone home, but she probably would have talked herself into calling him and begging to see him again.

When the show finished she hurriedly made her way to the back, hoping to escape before Hunter saw her. Thankfully, Shawn had already flown home since he was on the Raw roster and Steph had gone home to the kids.

"You attacked Matt?"

She sighed and turned around to see Hunter behind her.

"He had it coming."

"What did he do?" Hunter asked quickly. "Did he hurt you?"

Hunter always went into this protective mode when he thought someone had hurt her. A few times, he'd even been known to attack.

"No. He just made me angry," she sighed.

"How?"

"He was just talking to me," she sighed again.

Hunter chuckled. He probably thought the problem was Matt had talked to her, not that he'd said anything wrong. Normally, that was enough to set her off.

"Look, I'll see you later. I'm really tired, I just want to go sleep."

"I'll give you a ride."

* * *

"So you had to miss the show?"

"Vince made me. He apologised like he's the one who punched me and told me to take the night off. Paid, of course."

Jeff frowned as he finished his cigarette.

"Have you seen her since?"

"I'm not going anywhere near her. She's crazy."

"Matt, she's just in a bad place. You two will get along if you just give each other a chance."

"No."

"Matt_"

"No. She's your friend, you deal with her."

"It's just what you said to her, that she's not good enough. She's... she's just finished with a guy who thought the same thing."

"All this over a broken heart?"

"You of all people should understand. Remember what you did after Lita?"

He knew it was wrong to bring up that part of his brother's life, even though Matt claimed he was over it, but he needed someone he could trust watching her.

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

"Just... visit her. Make sure she doesn't do anything rash."

"Like what? Kill herself?"

"I don't think she'll go that far, but she's really broken up about this, even if she doesn't show it."

Matt sighed again.

"I'll take her a pizza and a couple of beers tonight, see if she can stand my company."

"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow night."

He hung up and walked back into the house. He and Angie were staying with Matt until he finished rebuilding his own house. Not that he didn't like living with his brother but at least in his own house he could put his own stamp on it and feel more comfortable.

"Matt okay?" Angie asked as she looked up from her book.

His first night home and Angie had claimed she just wanted to chill and read a book. He'd had images of ravishing her the second he'd got home but obviously that hadn't worked out. After all her phonecalls about how she missed him, surely he'd had a right to assume she'd want to sleep with him as much as he wanted to sleep with her?

"Yeah. It was just a little crash, he's sorted that out," he assured her as he sat down and picked up his own book.

He sighed and found his bookmark. At least he had Grace to entertain him. Or should he say, depress him more?

oOo

_I didn't try drugs until I was eleven. After three failed suicide attempts I was convinced I was just destined to live the life I had been given until it chose to kill me itself. If you ask me now, knowing what I know, I'm not sure I can tell you I wish I never picked the stuff up in the first place. Although it killed me, it kept me alive._

_If I had kept clean, would I have found a way out of this life sooner? Maybe. But I know I would have tried to kill myself again, and I'd probably have succeeded. So did I really want to die? No. So in a way, I'm glad I found the drugs. They made life a little bit more bearable and made any suicide attempts impossible, because I was always too high out of my mind to realise what was being done to me. It wasn't as if it ever happened with my consent, anyway._

_Sometimes I'd hallucinate that those men were my boyfriends, that they loved me. It was the drugs, of course, but at least they made it easier. _

_I was eleven and selling my body so mum could keep herself in drugs. She'd gone from using dad to using me. She only cared about herself._

_But at least now we weren't sleeping in the streets. She made enough off me to rent us a rundown shithole to base ourselves in. I still slept on the floor, but at least I had a roof over my head, and sometimes I got food as well. And mum also had a place to stash her drugs, unlike before when she'd kept them on her at all times. We lived in one room, so the drugs weren't hard to find. _

_I had regulars by then. I never knew how much mother charged them but I knew it was a lot. Even though I discovered later in my life that there were other kids, some even younger than me, being forced into this life, I was some sort of novelty because of my looks. You only read about that shit happening in other countries; where sick men, perverts, travelled to have an experience like that with unwilling little slave girls. You'd never guess that this sickness happens in the middle of Chicago. I didn't know there was a way out of it, of course. I knew it was wrong, I knew I didn't like it, but I never knew I could have just said one world and I could have been saved. Just one word._

_But Mother told me if I ever opened my mouth, I would be sent far away, so far I'd never see her again. At this point, even though I knew she didn't love me, she was still the only family I knew. I didn't want to leave her. _

_So I did everything she asked. I did everyone she asked._

_One of my regulars was Joe. I'll call him that because I've always hated that name. He used to 'hire' me for the night, which always made Mother very happy because that meant a lot more money for her. But Joe was different. Not different as 'he didn't sleep with me'. He did. Many, many times. But he'd take me to his place and I could have a bath and a meal and watch TV with him first. I think this was because he felt guiltier than the others about what he was doing. It was only in the morning, just before he took me home, that he would be a monster like the rest of them._

_But I still preferred him because, rather than 'working' many times in one night, I would have him, just once._

_We never went to his house. Even though I'm using a fake name for him now, I'm sure the name I knew him by was still fake. I'm sure he was like the rest of them; respectable in the public eye with a wife and probably kids of his own. I felt really sorry for his kids. I felt really sorry for his wife. But most of all, I felt really sorry for myself._

_How had my life gone from beautiful to hell in just a few short years? My eleventh birthday was coming up. Even though all the days meshed into one long one, even though I could never tell between day and night, I knew I was reaching that milestone. Eleven. Two years exactly since my dad – or the man I'd thought was my dad – kicked me out of his life. Having seen this side of my mother, I could see why he had got rid of her. But getting rid of me? It used to make me really sad. But having lived like this so long, it only made me angry. My dad was just like all the other filthy perverts I was subjected to. He'd used me and thrown me away. He hadn't cared what had happened to me after. Only, his deception was greater._

_oOo_

_My birthday was one of my clearer days. I decided to go and look for Dad, just to let him know what I thought of him as a human being. I left early in the morning because the trip would take me a few hours, and I knew I had to be back by nightfall for 'work'. He no longer lived in the house that had so many good memories for me. I'd tracked him down to the next city and found out he had, indeed, moved back in with his wife._

_The house was bigger than the one we'd lived in, the neighbourhood more affluent. Maybe, because Mother wasn't there to bleed him dry anymore, he could afford to live in luxury. I don't know. But I do know I looked really out of place in this area. I was skinny and small for my age, and my clothes hung off me like a sack. Mother kept all my good clothes for work. I don't mean good, as in comfortable, decent Sunday clothes. I mean good as in they weren't worn thin, faded and torn. But I would never have worn those clothes out in broad daylight, anyway. They were working clothes._

_So in my threadbare T-shirt, unfashionably torn jeans and worn flip flops, I walked up my dad's driveway. I had a good idea what I was going to say to him, but his last words to my mother still rang in my head. He would kill me._

_At this point, I couldn't really care. If he killed me, he'd be doing me a favour. I'd tried myself, three times, after all._

_I rang the door bell and a strange man opened it. He looked like a butler. Man, Daddy sure knew how to live in style. The man took one look at me and turned his nose. I knew I didn't smell; I always made sure I scrubbed myself really, really hard every morning. But I knew I looked disgusting._

"_Go away," the man said rudely._

"_I want to see Mr. So and So."_

_I'm not going to write his name down, obviously, even though that man deserves to be named and shamed. Stupid legal reasons._

"_Well, I doubt he'll want to see you. Now go away before I call the police."_

"_If you don't call me I will scream."_

_I've fended off a lot of trouble using this threat. Obviously, it didn't work on the paying customers. I was never allowed to open my mouth when I was with them._

"_Go away. He's very busy."_

"_A lot of your neighbours are looking at us."_

"_And they're thinking how their neighbourhood's gone to the dogs. They're probably locking their doors now, in case you decided to knock on theirs too."_

"_Or I could just knock anyway and tell them how I know Mr. So and So."_

_The man sighed in annoyance._

"_Wait here."_

_Before long, my dad stood there. I squashed all my feelings of happiness as I remembered all I'd had to endure because of him. _

"_What?" he snapped._

_He hadn't aged a day. He looked like his life had been one long holiday since he'd thrown us out._

"_Hi, dad."_

_This was when he recognised me. I can't believe the man who'd raised me for nine years hadn't even known me from first glance._

"_Grace?" he asked in disgust. _

"_Has it been that long for you, daddy, that you don't even know me?"_

"_I'm not you dad," he growled. "Now get the fuck off my property before I call the cops."_

"_Thought you said you'd kill me. Where's your gun, daddy?"_

"_Don't tempt me," he snapped again. "What do you want? Did your mother put you up to this? If she did, you can tell her you're not getting one cent off me."_

"_I didn't come for your money, daddy. I came so you could take a good look at me. Look at me so I can haunt you for the rest of your fucking life."_

_I'd been swearing for years. Living on the streets did that to you._

"_I have nothing to feel guilty about. You're your mother's mess. She did this to you."_

"_Really, daddy? Did she throw an innocent nine year old girl into the street with not much more than the clothes on her back? You could have done something, daddy. You could have saved me. But you sent me out to the dogs," I said._

_My voice was dead, emotionless. All the life had been sapped out of me a long time ago. _

"_So I've come here so that you can see me everytime you close your eyes. Everytime you see a child in the streets. Everytime you look at you own children. You're no better than Mother. You're just as worthless as she is, just as vile. And one day, you'll get what you deserve."_

"_I'm calling the police now. I've had enough of this shit," he said as he slammed the door shut in my face._

_Maybe in some way, I'd expected him to take one look at me and break down. I'd expected him to save me. But he didn't._

_I had no tears to cry, so I just walked back down the driveway. I had a feeling he would move so I couldn't show up again, but I wasn't bothered. I really didn't want to see him again. He was dead to me. _

_Finally dead. Like I wished I could be dead._

* * *

"What do you want?"

She'd been ready to just fall into bed and bury herself in the covers.

"I brought a peace offering."

She looked down at the pizza and beers and frowned at him. If anyone was supposed to apologise it was her, but she wasn't going to do that.

"I'm sleeping. Go away."

But Matt pushed himself in and made himself comfortable on her bed before he opened the box of pizza.

"It's getting cold. Hurry," Matt said between chewing. "Do you have any DVDs to watch?"

"Listen here, Hardy. I don't know what you think you're doing but you need to just fuck off. I'm going to sleep. If you don't remove yourself from my presence in one minute, I'll call security."

"Oh, come on. Just chill out and have a beer."

Matt promptly got himself off her bed and started riffling through her DVD collection.

Dammit. This was just what she needed. Why couldn't people just give her the space to get her head around what had just happened? She was getting ready to get really nasty when Matt spoke again.

"Jeff's calling me in a minute. He wants to talk to you."

Well... Okay, if Jeff was calling, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. She desperately needed to hear the sound of his voice. If she didn't know what Angie was like, she would probably have called him herself long before now, even though he'd only left that afternoon.

"As soon as I speak to him, you have to go," she grumbled.

She sat on the bed and eyed the pizza. She hadn't eaten since the morning, when Jeff had forced her to.

Matt sat on the other side of the bed, with the pizza between them and pushed the box towards her. She took one without as much as a thank you. Then she took another.

"This will make it go down easier," he said, offering her a can.

She took it grudgingly. The same way she took the next one.

Matt had chosen some comedy she'd already watched, but she paid all her attention to the screen, hoping he wouldn't just start talking.

"I'm really sorry about earlier," he said. "You and Jeff obviously care about each other; I had no right to say what I said."

She didn't answer him. And to his credit, he didn't say anything else. Not a word. He was so quiet, she almost forgot he was in the same room as her thoughts took over. It was only as his phone rang that she remembered he was there.

Matt pushed his phone towards her and she quickly answered it.

"Jeff?"

"_Hey, beautiful. How you doing?"_

"Alright."

"_I heard you and Matt had a little disagreement earlier."_

"He got in my face. It couldn't be helped," she shrugged.

She saw Matt frown in her direction and scowled back.

"_So what you guys doing?"_

"He's watching a movie. He won't leave. Please tell him to leave."

She wasn't begging but she hoped Jeff would hear how desperate she was and have a word with his brother.

"_I'm sure you two can work that one out yourselves,"_ Jeff chuckled instead.

There was a short silence and she just knew he was gearing up to ask about her feelings.

"_So... how've you really been?"_

"I said I'm alright."

"_Okay. I told you, you can call me anytime, though, didn't I?"_

"And ruin your little romantic break with your girlfriend? Nah."

"_Nothing romantic about this,"_ Jeff grunted. _"She's gone upstairs to bed."_

"Poor thing," she chuckled, realising that meant he'd been left high and dry.

Jeff only grunted again.

"Why don't you go up and surprise be with her anyway?"

"_She said she has a headache. I'm guessing any sexual vibes I throw at her will be totally wasted."_

"Just try, Jeff. Maybe that's what she's waiting for."

"_Alright,"_ he sighed. _"I'll call you in the morning, okay?"_

"Alright. Night, Nero."

"_Night, Kitty Kat."_

She had a little smile on her face when she hung up and it didn't completely disappear when she gave the phone back. Maybe because Matt didn't say a word, or even look at her. Or maybe it was the beer. She couldn't be sure.

But she didn't throw Matt out like she'd planned to. What the heck, he had beer and her mini bar was already depleted.

So she settled down and grabbed another piece of the pizza.

* * *

**Thank you for you reviews stripes31, xSamiliciousx, Bingobaby, LegacyChick, dehlia666 and tophersmommy06, and for those who've put this story on their alerts ands favs. The next chapter will probably come after Christmas as I'm terribly behind with all the Christmas thingd I have to do. So for those who celebrate Christmas, Have a Merry Christmas. Be safe.**

**Much love.**


	7. Chapter 7

Kat woke up to a loud pounding on her door.

"What?" she whined, her eyes still closed as she rolled over.

She immediately opened her eyes when she felt the warm flesh next to her.

Matt! God dammit!

He was fast asleep on top of her covers, still fully dressed minus his shoes, with the TV still blaring. Obviously, he hadn't made it to the end of the movie either. Well, he should have just gone back to his room when he'd started feeling sleepy. She didn't need this crap right now. Only Jeff spent the night, only Jeff was allowed to see her that vulnerable.

The pounding came again and she muttered angrily as she rolled off the bed and dragged herself to the door.

"The hell are you trying to kick my door down for?" she snapped when she saw Hunter on the other side of the door.

"Morning to you too, Sweetheart," Hunter smiled, walking into the room. "We're checking out in half an hour, wanted to make sure you'll all packed and won't delay us. Again.

He stopped talking when he noticed Matt sitting up on her bed.

"Well, well, well," he chuckled. "I see you two made up."

"Ha ha," she muttered, walking to her bag to throw some clothes in.

She'd already packed most of her stuff before Matt had rudely interrupted her the previous night. She was always happy when she finally went home every week but this time, she couldn't get there fast enough. She needed to take some time out away from all this to sort her head out.

"Well, it was fun, Sweet Cheeks, but Daddy's got to go now," she heard Matt say behind her.

She whirled around quickly to face him.

"Did you honestly just say that?" she asked with an irritated look on her face. "Did you just make it sound like you did something more than pass out on my bed like a lump of fat and snore your head off?"

"Lump of fat? You are really, really bad for my self esteem," Matt chuckled as he finished putting his shoes on and stood up. "Hunter, see you Friday, man. Katrina, thanks for sharing your bed."

"Get out before I throw something at you," she snapped, turning back to her packing.

Hunter chuckled as he closed the door behind Matt.

"You know, people talk. They'll see Matt walk out of here and assume a whole load of rubbish."

"And I should be bothered?" she asked as she laid out her clothes on the bed. "I'll meet you downstairs when I'm ready."

"Alright. Don't be late, though."

She was showered and dressed in ten minutes. Three-quarter denim shorts and a light T-shirt because it was already damn hot even though it was only seven in the morning. And of course one of her trusty beanie hats. All she wanted was the sanctity of her own room at Hunter's house, a bit of privacy to grieve. Damn Orton for making her feel like this. But she'd get over it. She had to. She hadn't needed anyone before him and she didn't need anyone now.

As the elevator took her downstairs, she thought again about the way she'd screwed herself up the last week. If only she hadn't had all that alcohol, she wouldn't have gone to that party. Then Orton would have had no reason to get angry with her and he wouldn't have proposed so soon. She was fairly certain now that he'd only done this to punish her. He was rubbing it in her face that she wasn't good enough for him, not like Maria was.

Of course, he had no way of knowing that once he cooled down and called her – as she was sure he would - she would only end it. There was no way she would be _that_ woman again. She'd done it often enough in the past, broken up homes, left kids fatherless. She wouldn't do it again. Even if the man in question was a whoring little shit like the rest of them had been.

On the third floor, the elevator stopped and a brunette walked in carrying a couple of bags. She had no idea who she was but for some reason the woman shot her dirty looks the whole way down to the lobby.

"He's mine," the woman said angrily as the doors opened.

"Okay," she frowned before walking out, her bag in tow.

"Stay away from him!"

Now she was confused. Him? Him, who? But she didn't bother to turn around to ask. She'd taken nobody's man. The only person who'd have been justified to say something like that would have been Maria, but even then, she'd have told her Randy hadn't been hers until the night he'd put a ring on her finger.

"I'm talking to you, you bitch."

At this she stopped. Hunter was standing with a few other guys by the couches in the middle of the lobby, all of them looking at her and the psycho woman with interest. Did they know her, then? Was she on the roster? A Diva? Oh, God that was all she needed. Maybe she'd kissed her man, too, the night she'd got drunk.

"Bitch?" she questioned, turning around.

"You threw yourself at him like a shameless hussy," the woman spat out.

The other elevator doors opened and Matt walked out, stopping in his tracks when he saw the brunette. That was when it all made sense. Eve? Was this the Eve woman who was in love with Matt even though she hadn't actually told him this herself?

"You've stolen him from me," Eve continued. "You slept with him and he hasn't even talked to me since."

"Gee, I wonder why," she said sarcastically.

"Stay away from him," Eve repeated, her voice gripping venom. "Don't make me tell you again. You may have had him again last night but that's the last time you'll sleep with him."

"Oh, I don't know about that. Last night was pretty awesome," Matt said, finally making his presence known.

Eve gasped as she turned round, realising Matt had heard what she'd had to say. She hadn't really followed up on what was going on with them, since she didn't care, but for this woman to have the nerve to come all up in her face like this when she probably still hadn't spoken to Matt herself... It was disgusting. Why was she insisting on dragging her into her problems, anyway? God, she by no means considered herself a normal person, but if someone pissed her off she let them know about it.

Matt walked past Eve to stop beside her.

"You ready to go, Kat?" he asked, ignoring Eve.

"Matt___"

"Talk to me when you've grown up, Eve," Matt cut in without even looking at her. "Let me help you with your bag."

Shrugging, she handed her bag over and turned away from Eve to walk with Matt towards Hunter. She had no time for this shit right now.

"You know if she comes in my face like that again, I'm going to have to hurt her, don't you?" she said when Matt handed her bag to Hunter.

"I know," he sighed.

"She won't look as pretty as you do, either," she continued as she surveyed his face. "Damn, Hardy. Your face... Damn."

Two black eyes and a cut lip. She'd been really angry when she'd done it, but she hadn't thought she'd got him that good. Matt would have been completely justified if he'd attacked her back. But instead he'd brought her pizza and beer. And apologised. He was probably very much like Jeff, too; he wouldn't have raised his hand to her no matter how hard she'd been begging for it. Damn these Hardys and their Southern upbringing! Now she was starting to feel a bit guilty.

"I warned you to stop the car," she murmured, looking away from him.

Anyone who knew her would know that was as close to an apology as they were getting.

"I'll listen next time."

"_You_ did that?"

She looked up at one of the men standing with Hunter, the square jawed dude with the long blonde hair. She still hadn't worked out his name, even though he'd seemed very mouthy in the ring the other night. But with everything going on in her life, everything had pretty much flown over her head.

"Man," the other guy whistled. "What did you do to make her so angry, Matt?"

"Nothing. You know women, Cena. They fly off the handle at any silly little thing."

She glared at Matt and he held his hands up protectively in front of him.

"Go on, now. You don't want to miss your flight," he urged, one hand still protecting his face and the other nudging her forward.

He was so lucky he was Jeff's beloved brother! Glaring again, she turned on her heels and walked out of the hotel.

* * *

"What _did_ you do?" Hunter asked as they watched Kat walk out of the hotel.

"I guess I said something that hit a nerve," he sighed.

"At least I know to stay out of her way. I'm way too pretty to pull off that look," Adam said as he nodded in Matt's direction.

Eve chose that moment to come towards them, but she had backup with her. Kelly and Mickie. Well, so much for them talking about this crap in private!

"Matt, we need a word," Mickie said.

"About what?" he sighed.

"In private," Kelly said.

"In private?" he asked with a little chuckle at the irony. "Why?"

"It's a personal matter," Mickie snapped.

"How can it be personal? You two are sticking your noses where they don't belong."

The guys were still standing with him, unashamedly listening in. He knew if he said anything else, Adam and John would spread the story around in the locker room, embellished, of course. He had a lot to say to Eve, but now wasn't the time.

"Matt... Come on, let's just go sit down in the bar or something and talk," Kelly tried again.

"Listen," he sighed again, "Stop with all the silly little games. Eve is standing right here, why can't she speak for herself? She certainly had no problem making her opinions known a minute ago."

Eve remained silent as he'd known she would. She couldn't even look him in the eye. He shook his head and turned away. All he'd wanted was for Eve to come to him so they could talk. Alone. But she'd been sending her friends instead, making them accuse him without hearing even a word of explanation. He'd really thought their friendship had been going somewhere. Because that's what it had been; just friendship, just a few beers occasionally and a few movies. He hadn't even thought she'd felt that way about him. And now, all of a sudden, she was acting like Katrina had stolen her boyfriend. Total bullshit. He had no time for it.

"Guys, I'll see you Friday," he said as he turned to the men.

With that, he walked out of the hotel. Hopefully, all this would blow over by the time he returned to work.

* * *

The kids descended on them the second they walked through the door that afternoon. Marcus and his younger brother Luke. They were very handsome little boys, little blonde, blue eyed angels. Hunter liked taking the credit for that but there was no way such beauty would have been all down to him!

Marc was five now, going on six and he was a little terror when he wanted to be. Very strong willed, just like his mother. Luke, on the other hand, was the peacemaker, even at his three years. He could wrap anyone around his little finger without even trying. And for some reason, they both loved her very much.

She felt honoured. By the time Luke had been born, she'd been clean and trying to get back on her feet so he'd missed most of the drama she'd brought into the Helmsley household. Marcus, on the other hand....

She closed her eyes as the waves of guilt hit her again. Time and time again she had put Marcus, Steph and even Hunter in danger because all she'd cared about was her next fix. She hadn't cared how she'd got it. She hadn't cared who she'd hurt.

"Katrina, I did a painting for you at school," Marcus said proudly as he pulled her further into the house. "We were supposed to paint our favourite person in the whole world."

"I thought I was your favourite person," Hunter said as he followed behind with Luke in his arms.

"That was last week, daddy," Marcus said, rolling his eyes.

She chuckled as she was led to the stairs.

"Don't I get a hello from Katrina first before you take her away?" Steph called out from one of the rooms.

"This is more important, mummy," Marc called back.

Before long, she was in his room where his painting held pride and place on one wall. She knew it wouldn't be there the following week, though, because something else was bound to get his interest.

After admiring and praising the painting, then spending a bit of time with Luke as well, she made her excuses and finally went to her room.

There, she finally took her mask off.

She would have thought, after all the shit she'd been through, losing Orton wouldn't have hurt so bad. But it did. She'd left her old life behind, but still she wasn't good enough. She would always be Grace. The whore.

* * *

"You alright, man?"

Jeff looked up at his brother as he threw the butt of his cigarette away.

"I'm just worrying about Kat. She hasn't been picking up her phone."

"She'll be alright," Matt said as he sat on the fallen log next to him. "It's Angie you need to be worrying about."

He ran his hands through his hair.

"I don't know what to do, Matt. I think someone at work said something. Maybe Maria _did_ call her like she threatened. But I'm afraid to ask her. I'm afraid to talk to her. I know she doesn't trust me. If anyone said anything, then maybe she's planning on leaving me. I don't know what I'll do if she does."

"She loves you, Jeff. She's not going anywhere."

"If she loves me like I love her, then why can't she trust me? What do I need to do for her to trust me?"

"That's something you need to talk to her about," Matt sighed, getting up. "I'm going over to Shane's. Maybe you two can work things out while I'm out."

He nodded as he got up, too.

He found Angie in their bedroom, watching TV. It was a definite sign that she was avoiding him. Why else would she be up here all by herself?

"Hey, baby," he said softly as he joined her on the bed.

"Hey," Angie answered with a little smile, not even taking her eyes of the screen.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He sighed and lay back with his arm behind his head. One word answers. That was just great.

"I'm losing you, aren't I?" he asked after a little while.

He didn't even want to contemplate what her leaving would mean to his life.

"No. I'm losing you," Angie said, throwing a little sad look at him briefly before looking back at the TV.

"What? Why would you say that?"

Angie sighed and finally switched the TV off.

"Because I know you. I can't compete with anything else in your life, Jeff. I'm just boring old me, I have nothing left to give you," she said sadly. "Sooner or later, you're going to wake up and realise the past five years have been a mistake. Then I'll lose you."

"Angela... You're the most amazing person I know. You're funny, you're sweet, and you're caring... I could go on," Jeff said as he sat himself up and took her hands in his. "I wake up everyday asking myself how I got to be so lucky. I don't deserve you at all, but here you are. I love you, Angie. I'll never stop. And you're far from boring, you know that."

"But you have this incredible job that takes you all over the world," Angie sighed. "You meet all these different, exciting people. And the women you work with... I've met some of them and I think they're incredible women, with more in common with you than I do___"

"Angie," he cut in, "Stop that. Please... please just trust me. I can't go on like this, thinking I'm just going to come home one day and find you gone."

"I wouldn't do that to you," she said quickly. "And I _do_ trust you, Jeff. But I can't help thinking that you'll meet your soulmate one day and that'll be it for us."

"_You're_ my soulmate. _You're_ the one I want to spend my whole life with," he assured her quickly. "Please tell me you believe that."

She smiled at him and nodded her head slightly, but he knew she hadn't believed a word he'd said. What did he need to do?

He looked into her sad green-blue eyes as he ran his hand through her auburn hair curls. He couldn't understand how such a beautiful woman could be so insecure in herself. Angie beat most of the Divas he worked with in the looks department by a long shot. Maybe she wasn't everyone's cup of tea but she was his. But her looks weren't the reason he'd asked her out. How could she think she was boring when everything she said and did intrigued him so much? He could spend hours just watching her and she knew this. The way the red in her hair caught the light... the way her eyes twinkled, sometimes looking blue, sometimes green... the way her lithe body moved... he could go on.

Katrina fascinated him, yes. But not as much as this woman did, and not even remotely in the same way. When he thought of Katrina, he thought of art, of paintings. But when he thought of Angie, he was incapacitated by a debilitating need. He'd never felt anything like it before in his life, and he was certain he wouldn't ever feel it for anyone else.

He brought his lips down to her softly.

"I love you, Angie," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Jeff."

When he heard those words, he let his need take over. He only had a couple of weeks to make her trust him again and he could start with this. He could start by reminding her how perfectly they fit together, how complete she made him.

He didn't try to rein his feelings in. Everything that flowed through his body whenever she touched him was intense; unleashing all of it on her would go a long way in showing her what she did to him. So in only seconds, he had them both naked; had her straddling him as he sat with his back against the headboard. His lips never left her body and neither did his hands. He'd been loving her body for years, he knew exactly which buttons to press to make her lose her head, to make her beg. And when she _did_ finally beg, he knew exactly how hard and how deep he needed to go to push her over the edge.

When she collapsed on top of him, breathing as hard as he was, he was already gearing up for round two.

Round one had been just a quickie, just to wet her appetite. Round two would be the deal clincher. And maybe even round three. They had all night. There was no way he was letting her out of the bed until he saw that sadness disappear from those incredible eyes.

Maybe what she needed was a bit more of a commitment for him. He didn't believe in marriage but maybe he could do something else, cement what they had in another way. That would make her more secure in their relationship, wouldn't it? That would knock all the mistrust out of the way.

Of course. It was a brilliant idea.

Now, if only he knew what he could do.

* * *

**AN/ Thank you for your lovely reviews xSamiliciousx, ShannonxMoore'sxLoverx, Bingobaby and oXPunkieXo. Enjoy.**


	8. Chapter 8

By Friday, when Katrina was settling down in her hotel room, she was no closer to exorcising Orton from her thoughts. In fact, she seemed to have thought of him to the point where she believed she had to see him again. Maybe one more time, just to say goodbye. But the problem was Orton hadn't called or texted.

She'd never felt more like shit in her life.

And that was saying something.

Maybe she just needed to put things in perspective. She needed to find her footing again. If she forgot why she was with Randy in the first place, forgot about the way he made her feel... Maybe she needed to remember where she'd come from. She'd had to be really strong to get through that shit; she still needed to be strong so those memories wouldn't consume her. Maybe if she remembered that, she'd realise Orton was nothing but a drop in an ocean of terrible pain and she'd be able to let him go.

But why should she let him go when he was the only person who had ever made her feel so alive?

There was a loud knock on her door, disturbing her thoughts. She knew it wouldn't be Hunter or Shawn, they'd gone out somewhere; it definitely wouldn't be Jeff because he was at home enjoying what she could never have with anyone.

So she decided to ignore it.

"I know you're in there Katrina. Hunter told me. So open up."

She rolled her eyes and turned the volume up on the TV. Matt was the last person she wanted to see. Being around him brought her problems. They were inconsequential problems she could easily take care of if they didn't go away on their own, but they were annoying none the less.

"Do you want me to shout what I have to say through the door?"

_Yeah, knock yourself out Matt_, she thought. He probably thought she'd be bothered if everyone on her floor heard what he said.

"Jeff's worried about you. Said you haven't been answering his calls," Matt continued.

Playing the Jeff card wouldn't work this time. When she was ready to speak to Jeff, she would simply answer her phone. She had no doubt Jeff would keep calling her until he finally spoke to her.

"He seems to think you might do something stupid. Like maybe kill yourself."

She rolled her eyes again. Great. Now to everyone listening in, she'd be the suicidal bitch who stole Eve's boyfriend. And then all sorts of theories would come up as to why she would want to kill herself in the first place.

Another annoying little problem added on top of the others Matt had already brought to her.

"No guy is worth that. Just move on, Katrina."

Wait. Had Jeff actually _told_ him about Randy?

She got off the bed and angrily stormed to the door to open it.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she snapped.

Matt's only answer was to walk in and sit himself down on the couch. She had no choice but to slam the door shut and follow him.

"I didn't invite you in. Thought you Southerners were all about the charm and good manners," she retorted as she stood in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest and a dark scowl on her face.

"We are. That's why I've come to charm you into having a meal with me."

"What did Jeff say to you? I'm not a charity case. And he certainly had no business opening his mouth about my business."

"I know you're not a charity case and Jeff hasn't really said anything. He's just been really worried about you."

"Well, I'm fine. So you can just leave and tell him that," she said.

"If I call him, will you speak to him?"

"I'll speak to him when I'm ready."

"Ready?" Matt questioned. "Why wouldn't you be ready? Thought you two are friends."

"I've already told him I'm fine. He needs to just concentrate on his girlfriend. If he keeps calling me like that he's just going to mess the girl up a lot more."

"So you're not picking your phone up 'cause you're thinking of Angie? Why don't I believe that?"

She rolled her eyes and walked to the bed, dropping herself on it as she muttered swear words. What was it with these Hardys? Jeff had muscled his way into her life the same way, only she hadn't been nearly as pissed off with Jeff as she was with his brother.

"If you don't want to go downstairs or wherever, I could order room service," Matt said ignoring her little outburst.

He picked up the TV remote to flip the channels as he put his feet up on the coffee table.

"I don't want to eat with you. I don't want you here. Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone?"

"I would, but you've got my brother thinking all sorts of crazy things. I'm not going to leave here until I can tell him for sure that you're not going to kill yourself."

"He really thinks I'd do that?" she asked.

"Yeah. And I'm not going till I'm sure you won't. I won't have you on my conscious."

She resisted the urge to punch the pillow. All she'd wanted was space. Time alone with her thoughts. And Jeff was deliberately sabotaging her.

She wasn't a fool, she knew he didn't think she'd try to kill herself otherwise he wouldn't have actually left her on her own to start off with. He was just trying to keep her distracted.

"I wouldn't kill myself. I wouldn't let anything make me feel like I had to throw my life away like that."

"No? So what are those scars on your wrists?"

She clamped her lips shut. He'd noticed them? How? Did that mean Jeff really thought she'd do it? Back then, when she'd tried to end it all, she'd had no other option, she'd seen no other way out. She'd been young and stupid, her head clouded by all the lies her mother and all her _clients_ had told her as well as a concoction of drugs. She was a different person now.

"That was a long time ago," she said finally. "I've grabbed life by the balls and I ain't letting go anytime soon, not without a major fight. You can tell your brother that."

Matt finally turned his head so he was looking at her over the back of the couch. He looked... sad. Sad for her? She could almost see the questions running through his head but he didn't ask them. She wouldn't have told him, anyway. While she strived to be completely honest with everyone, she was never going to talk about her past again. She was a different person now. Grace was dead. There was no need to bring her ghost into her new life.

"How about a couple of beers then? I never got to finish that movie the last time."

"Then will you go?" she sighed.

She would normally have just stormed out or something like that but she really didn't feel like wondering around the city by herself.

He smiled but didn't answer as he looked back at the TV.

Before long, he'd made himself really comfortable like the last time. Shoes off, movie on, alcohol and the food he'd ordered from room service on her table.

"If I hear one word about you being in here tonight from your girlfriend, I'll hold you responsible for what I do to her," she grumbled.

Matt just grinned and took a bite of his food.

Damn Hardy!

"I saw them when I helped you into bed after the Survivor Series party."

"What?" she asked.

He'd said it so softly she hadn't caught what he'd said.

"The scars. You grabbed my hands and told me I'm a good guy; that's when I noticed them. I wouldn't have seen them otherwise," he said."Jeff hasn't said anything to me."

She didn't say anything else as she accepted another drink. This night needed to end, and alcohol seemed a good way for it to go as any.

* * *

The rest of the weekend continued pretty much the same way. She tried to avoid Matt as much as she could, but he ended up at her hotel room door before the night was out. Even when she'd changed her room on Sunday, he'd still charmed the girl at the front desk and found her. It was Monday now, and quite frankly, she was ready to push him out of a window on the top floor of their hotel.

She didn't like it.

Matt was feeling sorry for her and it was making her angry. It was like he thought she'd just go off and kill herself if she was out of his sight for too long. She hoped to God he didn't tell Hunter any of his silly fears; if Hunter thought she was depressed in any way he'd demand the whole story from her. And since she never lied to him she would be forced to tell him about Randy.

She hadn't kept her relationship with Randy from him on purpose. It was just that she hadn't exactly had the right words to describe what she had with him. The words 'fuck buddy' would have had Randy killed within minutes. Besides, everybody knew of the Legend Killer's reputation. He would never be, in a million years, Hunter's choice for a suitable partner for her.

"Would you like another?"

She looked up at Matt and scowled. Just because he was stalking her, it didn't mean he could act like they were friends.

"I'll take that as a yes," Matt said as he walked to the bar.

They'd just finished a Smackdown house show and she'd made her way to the hotel bar, only to have Matt follow her there.

Well, at least if he got drunk down here, he wouldn't pass out on her bed again. She'd refrained from getting drunk herself, since the disgraceful incident at the party. People were still saying hello to her, still asking when she would hang out with them as she'd promised. They weren't getting the hint.

Even right now, they were sitting all around her, watching, gossiping. No doubt, the rumours now had her and Matt in a full-fledged relationship. She saw Superman and Coppermine sitting at the next table, also watching her. She'd now discovered Superman was actually on Raw and a very good friend of Randy's. Did he know about her? Did Randy talk about her? Was Randy there?

These were all questions she was dying to ask but she knew she wouldn't. Normally she would have known where Randy was because he'd text her or call her to meet. Raw was in Pennsylvania too, so he might have been booked into the same hotel. With his new fiancé. The thought broke her heart all over again.

She had to battle with herself not to pick up her phone to call him. If he was there... If he was so close...

"I've bought us the whole bottle. Thought you might need it," Matt said when he finally returned.

He placed a bottle of whiskey and another of Coke on the table and flagged a waiter down for some ice.

"Good," she mumbled, pushing her empty glass to him. "Hold the Coke."

Maybe tonight was a good night to get really drunk.

"They've got a karaoke machine. Wanna try it?" Matt asked as he looked around the room.

"What do I look like? Karaoke? You got to be shitting me," she said as she drowned her drink.

"Slow down, Kat. We have the whole night," Matt warned.

"That's what I'm afraid of," she muttered back.

An hour later the bottle was already almost empty. She should never have drunk it so quick.

"You know, Mattie," she slurred. "If you want, I could find that Eve for you and talk to her, tell her how it really is."

"Talk to her?" Matt asked.

"Yes. You like her so I won't hurt her, I promise," she slurred again. "Once I make her see she's being a childish bitch, you two can be alright again."

"Hmm. I think I'll wait till you make that offer when you're sober."

"Wh... what you talkin' bout?" she said. "I'm perfectly sober."

At that moment, some music started playing and she looked up to see someone was about to try their hand on the Karaoke machine.

"Oh, no," Matt said.

"What?"

"It's Jillian."

She looked at him blankly. Jillian? Was she supposed to know her?

"You really don't know shit about anyone you work with, do you? I thought Jeff was joking," Matt chuckled.

Jillian started singing. Not so much singing as scrapping her nerves. God, she was terrible!

"Stop," she called out. "You sound like a cat being strangled. I beg you, stop."

A lot of people turned to look at her.

"What? It's... it's really bad," she slurred.

"The only way you can stop her is if you go take a turn. She'll be there all night if someone doesn't take the mic from her."

She looked around to see it was Superman who'd made the suggestion.

"Even I can rock that shit better than that. Help me up Mattie."

"You serious? Thought you didn't do Karaoke."

"Who told you a stupid lie like that?"

Before long, she'd staggered her way to the front and grabbed the mic from Jillian. She didn't even hear the blonde's protests as she looked through the list for a good song.

"This shit is really old," she commented. "They even have songs from way back when you were young, Mattie."

* * *

Matt laughed as Katrina got herself ready on the stage. She was half drunk, more like on the night he'd met her when she'd been so carefree. He was guessing that this was the real her, the one she kept hidden under all those layers of ice. It made him wonder why she was the way she was when she was sober. What had happened in her young life?

"I'm dedicating this song to Mattie," Kat said finally. "And Superman. And the square jawed one. And Dolph."

She started giggling after she said this and he couldn't help laughing. Yes, he definitely liked this Kat better.

"Who's Superman?" Cena asked.

"She means you," he laughed. "And Adam, you're Square Jaw."

"It's not my fault," Adam said indignantly.

Their attention was drawn back to the front, when the notes of the song she'd chosen, Closer by the Nine Inch Nails, started filling the room. Katrina pulled her hooded top off, her woollen hat with it and it was like she was a different person. With her short hair all messy and sexy, a little tight tank top – it barely covered her breasts, it might as well have been a bra – and her ripped baggy jeans that hung low on her hip, she suddenly looked the part of a rockstar.

Then she opened her mouth.

God damn!

_You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you  
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you  
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no soul to sell  
Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself_

Somebody say sexy!

How the hell had he not seen that before? She was oozing sex from every pore of her body as she sang the erotic song, moving her body to the rhythm in a way that was probably making a lot of people really hot._  
_

_I want to fuck you like an animal  
I want to feel you from the inside  
I want to fuck you like an animal  
My whole existence is flawed  
You get me closer to god_

"Hot damn!" he heard Cena say.

"I don't think I've ever seen this song done quite like this," Adam added.

_You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings  
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything  
Help me tear down my reason, help me its' your sex I can smell  
Help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else_

"Hot damn!" Cena repeated.

"She said she dedicated this song to me, right?" Adam asked.

_I want to fuck you like an animal  
I want to feel you from the inside  
I want to fuck you like an animal  
My whole existence is flawed  
You get me closer to god_

The girl was really, really hot. At that last phrase, Katrina sensually slid her hand down her body, her eyes closed. He couldn't help following that movement. It was hot.

When she finally finished, Matt stood and applauded. The girl had hidden talents. Who knew?

"Encore," someone shouted.

"Lemme get a drink first," Katrina slurred as she staggered off the stage. "Mattie! I'm lost. Where are you?"

"I'm right in front of you, Katrina."

She squinted at him before a huge grin spread across her face and she dropped back down into her seat. For a change, she looked her age. Even though she was a tiny little thing, for some reason, her face had never given him the impression that she was so young.

He suddenly felt the need to get to the bottom of this. Did his brother know her story? She was like this with Jeff, drunk or not, maybe she'd confided in him. Maybe that was why they were such good friends and why his brother was worrying about her so much instead of trying harder to fix his problems with Angie.

"That was even better than having sex on the Manhattan Bridge," she declared loudly.

Adam immediately spat his drink out because he'd started choking on it.

"Sorry... um... What?" Adam asked.

Katrina turned round to face him and exclaimed, "Coppermine! It's good to see you, man."

"It's Copeland."

"No, man. It's Pennsylvania," she said before she turned her attention to John.

He watched the confused look that came on Adam's face and laughed. That man thought he was every woman's dream, obviously meeting one who didn't even know his name wouldn't sit well with him.

"Superman, it's an honour to meet you. I read about your work, man, the whole walking on water thing... Good job."

John also looked confused and he laughed again.

"Pour me a drink, Mattie. I need to go back up there," she said as she finally turned to him. "Where's Dolph?"

"I wasn't aware we were looking for him," Matt chuckled as he did as he was told.

"Oh, I'm always looking for him. Dolph..."

She started giggling again as she drowned her drink and he had the feeling Dolph wouldn't have been looking for _her_.

"Right. Round two."

* * *

Randy had to see her. It had been days and Kat hadn't even called him. He was starting to wonder if he'd made a big mistake. Well, not a mistake. The Legend Killer didn't make any mistakes.

But maybe he'd made a bad judgement call.

Getting engaged to Maria hadn't sent Katrina running back to his arm, all sorry and ready to do as told. It hadn't made her jealous.

It had been stupid to think she'd get jealous, anyway. She knew she was just his side entertainment. She knew he always went back to Maria's bed. And he'd told her over and over that Maria was the perfect woman, perfect wife material for him. Obviously, she'd been expecting it. And she wasn't bothered about it.

He walked into the hotel and for a moment, thought about calling her.

But his ego got the best of him. He didn't beg. If Kat wanted to see him again, she would call or send a message. If not, there were plenty of other women out there who could fill her shoes.

He headed straight for the bar because that was where John had said he'd meet him. John and a few other people from the Raw roster had been booked into this hotel, but his own hotel was at the other side of the city. As soon as they'd finished the Raw live show, he'd had to drive all the way across town to shower and change and tell his new _fiancé_ – he still didn't like even thinking this word - his plans before driving all the way back to meet John.

Whatever John had planned better be worth all that hassle. Actually, for getting him away from Maria, even just sitting in John's room all night would be a plus.

He stopped at the entrance when he saw who was on stage. On the damned Karaoke machine. _Karaoke!_

_Why was I the last to know  
That you weren't coming to my show you coulda  
Called me up to say "good luck"  
You coulda called me back you stupid fuck.  
Why was I the last to know?_

Who the hell did she think she was? Pink? Stupid, deluded girl.

_After the date, I wouldn't go  
Home with you  
I wouldn't put my heels in the  
Air for you  
You tried to get me to do things  
I just won't do  
Last I heard from you  
Here is how I guess the story goes  
You woulda came if I was a ho  
Fuck for parts, that's just not how  
I roll, move it on down the road_

What the fuck?! Had she no shame? She was near enough naked for her pitiful audience, like the hussy she was.

And all these people were enjoying it! They were ogling _his_ woman, ogling her body, and enjoying it!

How had she gone from being virtually unknown to this in just one short week? It was disgusting. She was _his_ secret. She was the girl he could walk with into a hotel or motel and noone would know who she was, even if she was so conveniently almost everywhere he went. How the hell would she do that now if everyone knew who she was?

"Randy! Over here."

He looked over to where John was calling him just as Katrina finished singing. Amid the applause, she started walking back to her table. To _John's_ table? What the hell?

He saw her drop herself between John and Adam and his eyes narrowed. What? They were all friends now?

He saw Adam put his arm around her as they talked animatedly between themselves with Matt looking on. Friends? Pfft! He was willing to bet she was sleeping with all of them.

"Randy, come on," John called out again.

This time, Katrina's eyes flew up to meet his. She looked disgustingly happy. Happy that she'd moved on.

Shaking his head, he just turned around and headed to the elevators. He'd find someone else to hang with for the night.

* * *

"Um... I' m tired, I'm going to my room."

"What?" Matt asked, turning his head back from the door where Randy had just stood.

"I thought we decided we were going to hit the clubs," Adam said. "You owe me a dance."

"Next time," Katrina said as she quickly got up. "I've had enough to drink for one night, I think."

"Come on. Randy's here now, we can just go," John urged. "We won't stay out late."

Matt didn't miss the way her eyes lit up at the mention of that name. And he hadn't missed it when Katrina had noticed Randy standing by the door. It had been her, rather than John calling out to Randy that that made him turn to look in the first place. Then he'd seen the look in Randy's eyes;' like the man had been very angry.

Had he been the only one who'd seen that?

"I'll walk you to your room," he said.

"Don't be silly. Stay here with your friends; I'm perfectly capable of getting to my room by myself."

With that, she was gone.

"So you're not doing her?" Adam asked straight away.

"No," he answered, his eyes still at the door.

"Is Jeff?"

"No."

"Can I?"

"No."

"Why? If she's free, why won't you let me ask her?" Adam continued.

"Ask her tomorrow. When she'd sober," he grinned.

He was certain Katrina would be kicking herself for tonight, just as she'd kicked herself for going to the Survivor Series party. And she would shoot Adam down, guaranteed. She would act like tonight never even happened.

"I'm going to make sure she gets to her room alright," he said as he got up.

"You still coming out with us?" John asked. "I'm calling Randy now to tell him we're ready."

"You guys go ahead. I'll catch up with you."

He walked to the elevator, but when he saw the light above it indicating it was all the way up on the fourteenth floor, he decided to take the stairs. Kat had downgraded from the penthouse suite to a little room on the third floor when she'd been trying to shake him.

But as he opened the door to the stairwell, he heard an angry voice and stopped.

Orton! He couldn't see him but he could tell he was walking up the stairs. It was only when he heard Kat's voice that he frowned, a few things suddenly making sense.

"Randy... please. Just talk to me."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"You can't mean that. After everything__"

"Get it through you thick head, Katrina. You meant nothing to me. I'm marrying Maria and she's a million times better than what you'll ever be."

"Don't say that__"

"Why? It's true. You're nothing but a cheap skank. You're filth. I don't know what I ever saw in you in the first place. You'll never be good enough for me."

After that, he heard a door open and guessed they'd walked out of the stairwell. Anger filled him. How could Orton say such terrible things to her? How could he talk to her as if she was worthless?

He remembered what had prompted her to hit him the day they'd drove Jeff to the airport and realised he'd said the exact same thing, just as Jeff had explained.

The poor girl. He had to find her.

He heard sniffles and realised Katrina hadn't walked out of the stairwell when Orton had.

Quickly, he walked up the stairs and found her sitting against the door, her head on her knees.

"Kat?"

She quickly looked up at him, revealing the tears flowing freely down her face. He'd never seen anyone look so broken.

"Come on, let me take you to your room," he said gently as he pulled her up.

What he really wanted to do was to find Randy and beat the crap out of him, but he needed to take care of Katrina first.

"What's wrong with me?" he heard her ask.

Her voice was so small and strangled it broke his heart.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Katrina. It's Orton who's the dick," he told her as he led her one more floor up, and then to her door.

He was half carrying her because all the alcohol had finally caught up with her.

"What am I going to do?"

"You're going to forget that prick. He doesn't deserve you," he growled as he helped her onto her bed.

"Jeff says the same thing," she sniffled.

"Do you want me to call him for you?"

Jeff had been her friend for a while; he would obviously know more about the situation and how to handle it.

"I don't like it when he worries," she said, burying her face in her pillows.

"He worries anyway," he said.

She didn't answer him, but he could see her shoulders shaking. She was crying. Damn Orton!

Instead of going to find him like he'd wanted, he got on the bed next to her and pulled her into his arms. He held her until she cried herself out in the early hours of the morning, until she finally fell asleep.

He'd tell Jeff about this first thing. He'd know what to do.

* * *

**AN/ No time to proofread, sorry. **

**So Matt is still muscling his way into her life and Randy's just broken her heart all over again. Next chapter she makes a plan. It's a good plan on paper, but it has so many holes in it in reality...**

**Thank you for your reviews everyone, I'll write you all by name in the next update. Really tired right now. Enjoy this one, and please, leave a review. Like I said in the beginning, I have two going and they seem to be neck and neck right now, but if you want your favourite to get the most attention, please review it. This pregnancy is kicking my butt, there's only so much I can do...**


	9. Chapter 9

Jeff hadn't been able to sleep as always, so he was in his brother's den with a glass of whiskey and the book; though he doubted reading about Grace's life would induce the sleep Angie constantly told him he needed. He never really slept; he'd been like that since he was a little boy. The night was his favourite time, when the world and her mother were asleep and his mind was free to roam. It was usually a peaceful time.

Lately, he'd been using that time to read Hunter's book, and the feelings going through him were anything but peaceful. He felt like finding Grace's disgraceful mother and killing her. He felt like finding all those 'Joes' and 'Johns' who'd touched her and killing them.

So he'd made up his mind. Once he got to the end of the book and found her life hadn't been resolved the way he wanted, he was going out there to find Grace Carver. He was going to help her find the justice she deserved.

Refilling his glass, he turned the page to continue Grace's journey.

oOo

_Chapter Twenty-One_

_The year I turned sixteen, I decided I couldn't hurt my friend any more. He had done so much for me; he'd put me back in school and I'd quickly caught up, he'd given me the only security and stability I'd known since I turned nine. He'd been my family. Even though he was a man and I hated all men, he had proved to me he was the exception to the rule. All he wanted from me was to see me safe and happy._

_But I couldn't continue lying to him like this. And I couldn't let my mother find him._

_Her threat still hung over my head. Even though I continued to do as she asked when my friend wasn't home, making her enough money to live and support her habit, that woman was still very greedy. She still wanted more. She still threatened me with things I now knew were total bullshit – there was no way I would get arrested for being raped over and over – but because I didn't want her anywhere near my friend, I did as she told me._

_My friend would have thrown me out had he found out what I really was. I believed this much. Noone would want such filth anywhere near them. My mother knew this much and she used it against me constantly. I lost track of the number of times I had to do a 'job' to fend her off for one more day. I didn't want her infecting my new life, my normal life._

_But after my birthday, when he was at work, I locked his door for the last time and didn't look back. My mother had threatened to send her clients to my friend's house because they had already paid her a shitload of money to use me. Because I was older now, she didn't make as much off me as she used to, and the fact that I was more or less living with my friend meant I made even less for her. So she was desperate, and her desperation cost me my new life._

_I caught the bus for the two hour journey that would take me back to the life I'd thought I was finally leaving behind. I couldn't help the tears that flowed down my cheeks. My mother was winning again. She had me in her grip and I couldn't see myself escaping until I was too old and worn to be of any use to her. What else could I do? Expose who and what I was to the one person who'd ever believed in me?_

_My first stop once I got off the bus was at Billy's. I was more clear headed now than when my friend had first taken me in, but I still needed a few hits now and again to function properly. Billy had been my supplier since I started buying for myself. Sometimes I'd had to pay with my body, but since I'd started getting an allowance from my friend, I used cash. Billy preferred it when I didn't have any money. I never liked any of the men I had to sleep with but Billy was among the worst in looks. He looked like someone lit a dick on fire then stomped it out. I was really thankful I had some cash on me._

_Of course, once I went to my mother's new apartment, any money I had would be stripped off me I was sure. Mother never tolerated anything that made me feel like I was my own person, being able to support myself was one of them. This was ironic, because I was the one who 'worked' to pay her bills in the first place._

"_Grace," Billy said when he saw me walking up to him at the corner he always stood. "Been a while. Thought I'd lost my best customer."_

"_Not while I'm still living," I muttered._

"_So... You wanna go up to my place to talk."_

_I knew what he meant. My skin crawled just thinking about it._

"_I've got cash," I said firmly._

"_Come on, now, Grace. We're friends. I missed you. Why you got to be like that?" _

"_Mama's waiting for me, Billy. I ain't got no time for no bullshit," I said, pushing him away."Now, give me my stuff."_

_I reached for the wad of money in my pocket and handed it to him. He just sighed and pulled out what I needed; a little bit of everything. I had been buying it like that for a long time._

_I turned away from him and started walking, not caring that he was probably checking me out. Besides buying a gun and shooting all these fuckers, I didn't know what else I could do about that. This was a thought I'd entertained many times over but my mother made sure I never had anything but change in my pocket. Buying a gun had always been out of the question. I didn't really care if they locked me up afterwards; though to be honest, I would have shot myself straight after I'd got every fucker who'd ever touched me._

_At this point, Mother's threats of them taking me away and keeping us apart didn't sound so bad to me. It was actually the threat she made about my friend that made me comply. Had it not been for him, I would have done away with my mother a couple of years back, when I'd finally opened my eyes to what was really going on._

_By the time I knocked on my mother's door, the stuff I'd taken from Billy had already started working._

"_What time do you fucking call this? I've been waiting for you for hours."_

_Yes. Hello to you too, Mother dear. The nerve of the woman!_

_I pushed her way into her apartment and headed straight for the bedroom. She'd moved into a two bedroom place now, though it was still as dark and dirty as our first apartment. My room had an old closet with one door broken off and the other hanging off its hinges. It was full of all my 'work' clothes._

_The second I set sight on them I felt like burning them, burning the whole place._

_What good would Mother's threats be if I was dead? _

"_You have ten minutes. I've laid out your clothes."_

_Indeed, on the big double bed- Mother had to invest in a comfortable bed because she now had me 'entertaining' at home - was the sluttiest outfit she'd ever bought for me. While I'd been sort of living with my friend, I'd never had to actually sleep in that bed, but now I knew I would have to. I didn't know how I would get through that. I didn't know how I would be able to lie in that filth._

_My last thought, before a knock sounded on my door, was of my friend. He would think I'd just run away. Maybe he would look for me a little, but he would never think to look here. It was for the best that I had left. He was quite a successful man; I would only have brought him shame. And all his hard work would have been for nothing._

_So before I opened my bedroom door, I laid my friend to rest. He had no place in this life._

_oOo_

How could she have gone back? Just when he'd thought she was finally freeing herself from all of it she had let her mother fill her head with lies again. Her friend sounded like a good person; surely he wouldn't have turned her away.

And in the years she'd been his friend, surely he had guessed about her anyway. Why hadn't she just put her trust in the one person who'd proved he deserved it?

He sighed and put the book down. He couldn't blame the girl for going back. She'd had a hard life and trust didn't come easy. It would have been easier for her to believe the bad than think she could actually make something of her life. Besides, despite her friend taking her off the streets in terms of putting a secure roof over her head, she'd still been pretty fucked up on drugs.

He heard the front door open and checked his watch. It was almost one o'clock. He hadn't expected his brother to drive home straight after the show.

"Hey Jeff," Matt said as he walked into the den and dropped himself on one of the couches.

He didn't look surprised that he was still up.

"Hey. Thought you were driving back in the morning."

"I was supposed to. But I had to take Katrina to the airport and thought I might as well check out as well and drive through the night."

"How was she? She still won't return my calls."

"She says it's because you just worry about her unnecessarily. She said to tell you she'll see you Tuesday and not day sooner."

He shook his head and sighed. Katrina was still trying to play the cold hearted bitch that didn't need anyone, even after what had happened.

Matt had called him that morning and filled him in on what had happened. His first thought had been to fly out and find Orton, but he knew Orton would have already flown to his home in St. Louis probably with Maria. Beating him up in front of her would have brought the truth out, and the last thing he wanted to do was expose Kat's secret.

He'd spoken to Kat that morning when Matt had forced her to talk to him and she'd seemed her usual self. She'd assured her she was perfectly fine, even though he knew that wasn't true. Then she'd spent a while complaining about Matt and begging him to tell his brother to leave her alone.

But the last thing he wanted was for her to be alone.

"I think I'll come back with you on Friday," he decided.

"Dude, you're not due back till the taping on Tuesday. Angie won't be happy about that."

"I think Angie and I have worked things out. She'll understand if I have to go back early."

"Are you sure?"

"Matt, Kitty Kat needs me. Real bad. That's the only reason she's not calling me. She knows I'll hear it in her voice and go to her straight away. Angie's just got to get used to the fact that I have friends who mean a lot to me."

"Yeah, but have you told her who those friends are? Have you told her about Kat?"

"I can't do that. If I do, she'll think I'm sleeping with her. She won't understand how close we are."

"So you haven't really worked your problems out, then," Matt stated with a tired sigh.

He sighed too as he filled his glass again.

"No. But I think it's up to Angie to work out. I've done all I can. If she still doesn't trust me then... is it worth it?"

"Don't say that, Jeff. You know you love her and you'd do anything for her."

"Yes, _I_ know that. I've done everything I can to _show_ that," he said. "Now it's Angie's turn."

"Alright, man. I hope you know what you're doing," Matt said as he got up. "I'm going to bed."

"'Night."

"Oh, and I almost forgot. When you finally go after Orton, come and get me."

He smiled up t his brother.

"What?" Matt asked.

"Told you she'd grow on you," he stated.

Matt just grumbled something under his breath as he walked out of the room.

Chuckling into his drink, he finished it up and stood up too. If he was leaving in three days – well, two since it was already Wednesday morning - he had to be with Angie as much as he could before she got pissed and moody again.

Hopefully, by the time he got back he'd have thought of something to do to show her how committed he was.

* * *

"Hunter, I'm alright," Katrina sighed into her phone. "I just thought I'd get a head start."

"I could have come with you."

"You'd made plans to go out with the guys, I didn't want to disturb you."

"Stop bullshittin' me, Grace. When I come home tomorrow, you and I need to talk."

"Hunter__"

"No arguments! You haven't been yourself lately and I want to know why."

"Everyone has good and bad days___"

"Is it Jeff?" he cut in again. "This all started when he went home. Did you guys fight?"

"No. We're fine."

"Is it Matt? I've heard what people are saying and I know that's not true, but is he bugging you? Has he tried anything with you?"

"No!" she said again. "Well, yes, he's bugging me; just not the way you think."

"Well, whatever it is, we're talking about it tomorrow," Hunter stated firmly. "We talk about everything, Kat. Why can't you tell me this?"

"Because there's nothing to tell," she shouted. "I'm really tired, Hunter. I'll speak to you tomorrow."

She hung up and threw her cellphone on her bed before joining it.

God! All she wanted was time and nobody seemed to understand that. Her heart had been broken. Again. She had been rejected. Again. All she wanted was to lick her wounds so she could move the fuck on already.

Obviously, any thoughts she'd had before of getting Randy back had been thrown back in her face. How could he have been so cruel? How could he have said those words?

Sure, what they'd had hadn't been perfect; Randy could be nasty sometimes, it was his nature. But he'd never done it intentionally. He'd never hurt her like this before. The way their relationship had been, it had been just perfect for her. She'd liked it that way. Randy had tried being all macho and shit but ultimately she'd been the one in control. Or at least she'd thought she'd been.

How could he just throw her away?

Just because she wasn't what he thought was perfect? She wasn't pretty enough? She didn't dress the way he wanted? What was all that but just superficial shit? Didn't people say it was what was inside that mattered? Why did he have to throw her away just because she preferred sweats to dresses?

And just like that, an idea popped in her head.

All her life she'd had to dress to impress men. She'd sworn she'd never do it again. But what if the man was someone she really liked? What if it was someone who'd made her feel normal again? Could she not do it again?

It was a small sacrifice wasn't it, if it would make her happy again?

Quickly, she got off her bed and walked to her closet. It was a walk in one but she never really walked in due to the fact that all the clothes she preferred were at the front. But she walked in now. Steph always had it stuffed full, just in case one day she gave in to all her begging for her to dress up for the occasions when she absolutely had to dress formally. Needless to say, she'd never worn any of it. If she absolutely had to, the best she did was a pair of trousers, maybe a nice jacket to go with it.

Thousands of dollars worth of designer couture; dresses, skirts, tops, even jeans – very different from what she normally wore, of course – and next to them, rows and rows of shoes.

She'd never worn anything so expensive and it kind of galled her that she had to do it now, just to impress a man. But she would. She would make sure she got Orton back, and this time it would be completely on her terms. This time, it would be Orton who came crawling back, begging for another chance. And she would make sure he understood that while he was hers, there could be no other women.

And for that she would need help. Plenty of it.

There was only one person she could turn to. He wouldn't be pleased, but he wouldn't say no either. No matter how much he hated Orton, Jeff would still help her if it would make her happy.

That was why he was her best friend.

* * *

**Thank you xSamiliciousx, Bingobaby, stripes31, Batista'sRKOPrincess, oXPunkieXo, BourneBetter67, alana2awesome, Enigmatic Lotus Leaf, tophersmommy06, LegacyChick for you reviews of the last two chapters. Keep 'em coming, I love 'em.**

**So she's got a plan now. Will it work?**

**I haven't proofread this one either. I think I'm going to have to get a beta.**

**Anyway, enjoy. Let me know what you think. Don't worry if you think it's going a bit slow, this is only the beginning.**

**Much love**.


	10. Chapter 10

Jeff was just about to call Katrina again to find out where she was when his brother came to sit with him on the leather couch in the hotel lobby.

"You still waitin' on her?" he asked.

"Yeah. She's still not picking up. I don't think she'll be happy when she sees me."

"Just like Angie wasn't happy when you left her this morning?"

"Will you stop with that shit already?" he snapped. "She'll cool down, and by tonight she'll be telling me how much she loves me."

"I still think you're not doing this the right way. Yes, Angie is insecure but she's had to put up with a lot of your shit over the years so cut her some slack," Matt snapped. "She's seen what some of the guys do when they're on the road and their girls are at home. I think it's only natural."

"But I'm not one of those guys, I'm me. I've never given her reason to doubt me, so is it too much to ask for a bit of trust here?"

"No," Matt said. "All I'm saying is try to look at it from her point of view. She's a good woman, Jeff. Don't lose her over something you can work through if you just really try."

He looked at his brother in irritation. _Really try?_ What the hell had he been doing the past year or so? He didn't want to lose Angie, of course not, but she was hurting him more than she could imagine by not trusting him.

"I'll call her later," he relented. "Maybe I'll ask her to come with us to Armageddon . She's going to say no, anyway, but I'll ask."

"She won't say no. She knows as much as you do that you need to work something out."

"Hey, guys. Why are we sitting in the lobby?"

He looked up to see their friend, Shane, sit down opposite them. Shane had made his in ring return at the last taping of Smackdown after being out for over a year with a neck injury. It felt great to travel with him again, he was more like a brother than just a friend.

"We're waiting on someone," Matt answered.

"Would this be the girl who stole you from Eve and at the same time is in a hot, torrid sexual affair with Jeff?"

"The very same one," Matt chuckled.

"As if that would ever happen," Jeff laughed. "You two are very alike, but you'd never work out."

"But your torrid affair would?"

"If I was into that girl, you wouldn't stand a chance," he stated. "It's that simple."

"Maybe once she meets me, neither of you will stand a chance," Shane put in. "I _am_ pretty awesome."

"She's going to take one look at you and turn her nose up before she ignores you completely," he chuckled. "She might even spit."

"Yeah. She's a real nasty bitch," Matt agreed.

"So why are you friends with her again?"

"Because she's _my_ nasty bitch," he shrugged.

"She's a kitten when she's with Jeff," Matt explained. "The second anyone else comes close she's all claws and teeth."

"And you like that," Shane stated, looking at Matt speculatively.

"What? Don't be silly. She just... well, I've spent a bit of time with her and I think she's just a big bullshitter, that's all. She's not as tough as she wants us to believe."

"And you're going to do what you do best and save her," Shane smiled slyly.

Jeff frowned down at his phone. He hadn't thought about his brother and best friend like that but... well, maybe if he thought about it some more he'd get his head around that idea.

"No! Well, not the way you think. I'm just trying to be her friend. But I doubt she's going to tolerate me as much as she did last week. She kinda really hates me when she's sober."

"Well, that might make your job of getting into her pants a bit harder then, won't it?" he sneered, still looking at his phone.

He hadn't meant for that to come out like that, like he was bitter or something. He just didn't know if he was okay with that yet. Kat was fragile. Matt would probably be good for her because he was strong and dependable but... well, she'd just come out of a bad relationship hadn't she? Her head wouldn't be in that place yet.

"Are you jealous?" Matt asked incredulously.

"No! But you know what she's been through; I just think you should put any thoughts like that on hold for a while. Besides, I don't really think you're her type."

"No? Let's just say I was interested in her, which I'm not, but what do you think is her type? Dicks like Orton?"

"No!"

"Well, you were happy enough to let her sleep with that bastard."

"Matt, just leave it. If you knew her you'd realise how ridiculous that sounds. Noone makes her do anything she doesn't want to do."

"Are we talkin' 'bout me?"

At the sound of her voice, they all stood up quickly to face her, ready to apologise. But the sight of her knocked the wind out of their sails.

Jeff could not have helped the way his eyes popped out of their sockets. She looked... different. Her hair was still the same messy look, though this time it looked like it had been professionally done, but her clothes... He'd never seen her in anything like that before.

She wore a stylish light blue strappy top that moulded her breasts and left her midriff exposed, with tight – really tight – dark blue hipster jeans and heels. _Heels! _All the women seemed to be wearing similar fashions but on Kat it looked... new. Different. Hot.

"Well?" Kat asked, twirling around once in front of them.

Her butt looked even nicer moulded by the denim. He couldn't help noticing that. It was a very nice change from the baggy jeans she normally wore.

"Wow," Matt said, the first to find his voice.

But he couldn't say anything. He knew her, knew how much she hated conformity. She'd once gone to dinner with some of Vince's important connections wearing flip flops! So this... As much as she looked very hot in the clothes, they just weren't her.

A sick feeling formed at the pit of his stomach and he suddenly knew he should never have left her.

"Thanks, Matt," she smiled.

She actually smiled at him. A real smile.

Matt was obviously as confused as he was; he looked at him and lifted his brow questioningly. He just shrugged. He had no idea what was going on here, either.

That was when he noticed Hunter standing a little away from them, bags in his hands with a frown on his face as well as he looked at Katrina. He looked completely lost for words.

"Jeff?"

"Huh?" he mused.

"Cat got your tongue? Say something, dude," Kat laughed, coming to stand right in front of him.

"You look gorgeous," he said quickly.

"Thank you," she beamed.

Who _was_ this girl? _Thanking_ him? _Beaming_?

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" she asked.

"Huh?" he said again.

_Introduce her?_ Since when had she ever wanted to be introduced to anyone?

"Shane Helms," Shane said quickly, taking it upon himself.

"Katrina Lang. Pleasure to meet you," she smiled again.

"Huh?" he repeated.

The fuck was going on here?

"Hunter, are you going to check us in? I wanna go chill in my room for a bit," Kat said, turning around to the other man.

Hunter just stood there.

"Hunter. Hunter!"

Hunter seemed to snap out of his thoughts and shook his head.

"I'm going to check us in," he said, obviously not because he'd heard Kat ask. "Um... Jeff? Wanna help me out here?"

He went to the older man without hesitation and they walked together to the desk.

"She's freaking me out," Hunter mumbled when they were out of earshot. "She's been like this all day; all... happy and shit. Something's wrong."

He would have found this statement funny if he didn't feel the same way. And the thing was; he had a feeling he knew what she was doing.

They heard laughing and both turned around in shock. Katrina was laughing with a man she'd just met and she wasn't even drunk.

"Talk to her, man," Hunter begged. "Find out what the hell is going on."

"I'll try," he offered.

Katrina made her way to the desk, a smile still plastered on her face. It suited her, it really did. He'd always thought she needed to smile more.

"What room am I in?" she asked.

"The best one. What else?" Hunter answered dryly.

"I need to do something real quick. Jeff, can you wait for me in my room? I wasn't expecting you here, but I'm so glad you are. I need to ask you something."

"Sure. Um, I'll take your bag up for you."

"Thanks, sweetheart. I won't be long."

Then she breezed through the lobby. _Breezed!_ Kat didn't breeze through anything!

"You might need the guys to help you with her stuff or get a bellhop to do it," Hunter said, handing him one bag.

"Why?" he frowned.

Hunter inclined his head and when he turned to look, he almost dropped the bag he was holding.

The girl who normally made do with one little holdall that contained a pair of sweats, one or two pairs of jeans and a few tops now had at least three cases besides the one he was holding. What, was she fucking moving?

This was making no sense at all.

* * *

"Damn, girl! The hell did you get all of that in them jeans?"

She rolled her eyes as a large, tattooed arm circled her shoulders as the owner fell into step with her. But she didn't push it off.

No, she was playing nice. She was playing bubbly.

"I bet she had to jump up and down just to pull 'em up," another man laughed, coming to walk on the other side of her.

"Hey, guys," she smiled.

Damn it, her face was sore now! How did people smile like this all day, everyday?

She felt like pushing Adam's arm off her, but she'd already got friendly with him the night she humiliated herself doing Karaoke.

Besides, she needed all the friends she could get if her plan was to work. And who better than the people Randy normally hung out with?

"You're lookin' real fine today, Katrina."

Typical.

"Thanks, Copeland."

"Well, listen to that. You finally got my name right," Adam laughed.

She'd made it a point to remember. She remembered every single thing about that night.

"Am I still your Superman? I kinda liked that."

"Sure. You can still be my Superman," she laughed as they came to the elevator.

She turned her head and saw Jeff, Hunter and Matt looking at her like she'd gone crazy. She had, really. She was intentionally putting herself through this shit so she could get back a man who'd called her worthless, a slut and filth.

But it would be worth it in the end, when Randy came crawling back to her and told her how sorry he was. When she got to hold him again.

"So how come, if you've worked here all year, we haven't meant?" Adam asked.

_Because you're just as superficial as the rest of them_.

"We've met. You just never noticed me," she shrugged.

"I'm noticing you now. How about we meet after the house show for a few drinks and we get to know one another better?" Adam asked.

"I'll have to get back to you on that one."

"Am I also invited? I'm not doing anything tonight."

"Dude! What the fuck are you doing?" Adam asked John over her head.

Obviously, he'd meant for it to be a proper date.

"I'm sure drinks with both of you sometime won't be a problem, but I can't tonight," she answered. "We could make a night of it, maybe tomorrow. Bring your friends, I'll bring mine."

What she wanted to say was '_Bring Orton, so he can watch me all over you."_

"Can I have your number, then?" John asked. "I'll call you and we can make a plan

She smiled, genuinely this time. Why were men so easy?

Now all she had to do was find some friends.

* * *

Jeff dropped the last bag next to the bed and sat down.

"I thought you said she was a nasty bitch," Shane said. "She seemed quite friendly to me."

"So friendly she walked off with the square jawed one she hates so much," Jeff sighed.

"I think she's having some sort of breakdown," Matt suggested.

"No," Jeff sighed. "She's playing a game. I think she's trying to prove something to that dick."

"But he's not worth it. Why can't she see that?" Matt asked as he dropped himself in one of the chairs.

"I've been telling her this from the very beginning but the girl won't listen," he answered. "And I may have underestimated the situation a little. I thought it was just a sex thing, that she would move on soon. But now it seems she might actually be in love with the guy."

"Maybe. She was very cut up Monday night when he said what he said to her."

"So she's either trying to show him what he's missing or trying to get him back. I have a feeling she's trying to get him back. Why else would she go to such drastic lengths? Why else would she make herself over into the type of woman Orton likes?" Jeff mused.

"Well, I have to go; I have an appearance in a little while. I'll see you later, but call me if you need me," Matt said as he got up. "You coming, Shane?"

He didn't have long to wait after his brother and friend left the room. Kat came in and near enough tackled him down onto the bed in a fierce hug.

"Dude, how've you been?" she asked as she held him really tight around his torso.

"I'd be a lot better if I could breathe," he muttered dryly.

"Oh, sorry," she laughed as she let him go. "I just didn't expect to see you till the Tuesday taping. What's happened? You and Angie fight or something?"

"Not really. I just thought I'd leave a bit earlier than I planned," he lied.

"You didn't come all this way to check on me, did you?"

"Of course not," he lied again, and then added with a chuckle, "Matt was doing a perfectly good job doing that all by himself."

"He wasn't checking on me. He was stalking me," she laughed as she got off the bed and dragged one of her suitcases to the middle of the room.

"He was really worried about you," he said softly, watching her face carefully.

As he'd expected, she tensed a little bit, but instead of making some really rude comment, she said, "That's really sweet of him. But tell him I'm fine."

"Okay, who the hell are you and what have you done with my friend!"

"What?"

"Come on, stop playing this game already and tell me what the hell is going on."

Kat sighed and opened the suitcase.

"I need your help," she said. "I don't know how to wear all this shit without looking like an idiot."

He frowned and got off the bed to stand over her open case. Then his eyes popped out of his socket as he knelt down to inspect some of the designs closer.

"Valentino... Chanel... Versace... Garavani... Ralph Lauren... What the fuck is this, Kitty Kat?" he mumbled. "And where the hell are you going to wear all these clothes?"

"I'm not wearing all of it," she protested. "I just brought it over so you could help me match it with this stuff."

He turned around to see she'd opened the other bags as well, and both of them bursting with designer handbags and shoes.

"Fuck me," he muttered.

There was thousands of dollars worth of shit there. Gucci. Prada. Burberry. You name it.

The Kitty Kat he knew would never have been caught dead in any of it.

This was bad. Real bad. She was going to get Orton back by being someone she wasn't.

"I was going to wear these today. Steph says they're from some dude called Jimmy something or other."

"Choo," he put in.

"Yes, that's him. But she told me I couldn't with the outfit I chose. Said these are more suited for wearing with evening clothes," she said as she knelt beside him. "That just messed my head up. I mean, they're just shoes, what the fuck? So if I'm going to do this right, I'm going to need your help."

"Do what right, Katrina?" he asked.

She sighed and looked away.

"You won't like it," she started. "But you're my friend and I'm telling you this much. Orton... He meant a lot to me. Still does. And I can't just sit back and wonder if he could have been mine if I'd just bothered to be what he wanted."

"Katrina__"

"No, hear me out because you're the only one I can say this to. Ever since Orton chose Maria I've... I've felt like I'm worth nothing. I just think if I was to wear these ridiculously expensive clothes... If I was to be different, to be like Maria... then maybe people wouldn't think I'm so worthless."

"You don't need to prove anything to Orton," he said, taking her hands in his. "He's a dick and whatever he says or thinks doesn't count. You're worth a million times what he is."

"Jeff___"

"No, it's my turn to speak," he cut in. "What I love about you, Kitty, is you're not full of bullshit like everyone else around here. You call a spade a spade. What you're trying to do now... it isn't you. You don't need to change to impress a man. If he can't see how special you are as you are then he's not worth it."

He didn't know how his little speech affected her because she still hadn't looked into his eyes.

"I need him back, Jeff," she whispered.

He let go of her hands and sighed.

"I can't help you with that, Kitty Kat."

She was clearly shocked. He'd never refused her anything before, mainly because she'd never made any ridiculous demands.

"Jeff..."

This time she looked at him and he felt the pain in her eyes like a blow to his stomach. How could she have fallen in love with that jerk and he hadn't even noticed? That just complicated everything. It would make forcing her to forget him that much harder.

"You don't need him, Kat. I can't help you get him back only to watch him walk all over you again."

Her eyes hardened a little and she turned away again.

"Don't let me keep you then. I'm an intelligent girl; I can work this one out by myself," she snapped as she shut her cases and stood up.

"Katrina, don't do this."

"I'll see you around, Jeff," she said.

"I'm not going anywhere," he snapped too as he got to his feet as well. "You can't throw me away like I'm a piece of trash just because I won't help you with this. I'm your friend, Katrina!"

"I'm not throwing you away. I just have a lot of shit to do before the house show."

"We still friends, then?" he challenged.

"Of course."

"Good. Because I'm going to have to crash with you till Tuesday."

"I give and I give," she muttered angrily as she turned from him, but he knew she didn't mean anything nasty by it.

"We've just had our first real fight," he said as he moved to throw himself on the bed he would be sharing with her.

"Yes we have."

"Let's celebrate."

"Downstairs after the show?"

"Sure," he grinned.

* * *

**So she's gone back to work a completely different person and Jeff doesn't like it. Wonder how he'll feel when she decides he needs an even bigger role in her 'plan'... And how will Orton react once he sees the new her? **

**And of course, the big question... when is Jeff going to find out who Grace is?**

**Thank you for your reviews **_**tophersmommy06, xSamiliciousx, oXPunkieXo, BourneBetter67, Enigmatic Lotus Leaf, Bingobaby **_**and**_** alana2awesome**_**, and for those who've put me on their alerts or favs. **


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Not proof read. Sorry for the long wait. Busy busy. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.**

At the house show, Katrina did her job as usual. She had to admit, since she'd made her mind up to get Randy back, she'd been a bit more settled within herself.

She hadn't expected Jeff to turn her down, but what the hey, they were only clothes, right? She could work it out. It was a good thing she hadn't launched into an explanation of her whole plan, because he would have completely blown up.

She was walking towards Catering where Jeff had said he'd wait for her when she saw Adam coming up the hallway. He had a Diva on each arm, whispering something to them as they giggled like idiots. What was it with these Divas and giggling? Was that what guys looked for in a girl? She had to have some sort of ability to giggle at will at whatever stupid things they said?

Would she need to learn to giggle?

The very thought of it made her shiver in revulsion. There was only so much she was willing to do.

As the trio came closer she smiled up at Adam but the man didn't even notice her. They walked past her without even acknowledging her presence and she frowned as she watched them enter a dressing room just behind her.

Was she invisible again?

She'd had to wear her normal work gear – black jeans, black WWE t-shirt and her usual woollen hat – and so far, no one had even talked to her. It just proved her point, really. Unless she was all beautiful and dressed up, these superficial, materialistic people wouldn't look twice at her.

But if Adam hadn't even looked twice at her just then, what hope did she have of fitting him in her plans? Maybe John would play the role better. He and Randy spent more time together, anyway, as they were on the same show, so John would probably be her best bet.

And she was having second thoughts about the plan, anyway. How would she pretend to like anyone long enough to actually play 'girlfriend'? And her plan included a lot of touching and kissing. Besides Randy, she hadn't ever willing let anyone do that to her. Would she be able to pull it off? It was vital that she did. The moment Randy saw holes in her new 'relationship' he'd see straight away what game she was playing, he wasn't stupid. Then he wouldn't become jealous. When his friend called him or met up with him and told him what a wonderful girlfriend she was, he'd just laugh in his face. Then she'd probably lose him for good and look like a dick in the process.

"Hey, Kitty. You ready?"

She looked up to see Jeff leaning against the door frame of the room where they'd set Catering up.

"Yeah."

"What's wrong?"

She didn't even bother putting a fake smile on her face. Jeff always read her well; it would have been a wasted effort.

"You don't want to know," she muttered. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Jeff just sighed and put his arm around her shoulders as they started walking out of the arena.

"Matt and Shane are meeting us at the bar. I told them you wouldn't mind."

She had to use all her will power to stop herself from saying something nasty. She'd just wanted to let her hair down for one night with the only person she considered her friend. With Shane and Matt coming along, she'd have her back up all night.

Unless they went somewhere with a lot of loud music, where meaningful conversation was out of the question.

"Of course I don't mind," she said instead. "But I kinda feel like clubbing instead. The bar at our hotel looked lame; I don't think I'd enjoy it there."

"Clubbing it is, then," Jeff said as they got to her rental car. "Want me to drive?"

"Sure."

The hotel was only a few blocks away so before long, she was walking with him towards the elevators. A few people walked out, including that pretty man who'd asked her out before, the Latina and Dolph.

She smiled, her mood lifted for a moment as the bleach blonde met her gaze.

"Hi," she smiled as him. "Going somewhere nice?"

Dolph looked away but his friends didn't notice his irritation.

"We're just heading to a club in town. Wanna come with?" the Latina asked. "You _did_ promise."

"Yeah. It'll be good fun," the pretty man added.

"Tell you what. We'll meet you where ever you're going if you promise to come out with me tomorrow night. I made plans with other people and I'm supposed to bring a few friends," she said, thinking on her feet.

"Deal," the woman said. "Jeff, you have my number, right? Call us when you're ready and we'll tell you where we are."

"Cool," Jeff said.

"See you later, Dolph," she sang, as they entered the elevator.

"Wow," Jeff said once the doors were closed.

"What?"

"You just had a real conversation with real people," he chuckled.

"Because Dolph was there," she laughed.

"For a moment there I thought you'd say it was because you're a changed person."

"I am," she said as the doors opened on their floor.

Jeff grunted his disbelief and she scowled at him.

"Listen," she said. "You're the one who's always on me to make friends with your friends. Now I'm making an effort, you're knocking me for it?"

"Because I know the reason you're doing it, and it's completely wrong."

"Are we really going to do this again?" she sighed as Jeff opened the door to their room.

"Kitty Kat... I'm just worried about you. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Well, I'm hurting right now," she hissed, turning away from him because she'd already revealed too much. "How are you going to make that stop, Jeff? How are you going to stop what goes through my head at the thought of never being with Randy again?"

He came up behind her and put his arms around her, gently drawing her into the secure warmth of his body.

"I didn't know you'd fallen in love with him," he whispered. "I wish I'd tried harder to stop it."

"Don't," she whispered back. "Don't tell me he's not good for me. I wish I didn't feel this way, believe me. But I can't help it, Jeff."

She'd probably revealed more to him that day than she had the whole time she'd known him. But Orton had made her this way; all needy and shit. She needed to snap out of it and get her shit together. Her plan wouldn't work if she kept falling apart when anybody mentioned his name.

Jeff kissed the top of her head and squeezed her.

"Enough of this bullshit. Are you going to help me pick an outfit out or what?" she asked.

Tonight would be a trial run. She had to see if she could actually do 'bubbly, perky and fun' all night without the aid of alcohol, seeing as she needed a clear head throughout to make sure her plan worked. It was a given she could be all friendly once she was drunk, she'd proved it enough times over the past few weeks. But now she had to learn to be like that while she was sober.

Before long, she had showered and was dressed in dark blue skinny jeans that hung too low on her hips for her liking and light blue, very revealing little tie-back top. She hoped Steph hadn't spent too much money on the top because there was hardly anything to it. But she'd looked at the label and known it probably cost more than she'd ever spent on anything in her life. When she wore little tops like that she usually threw a hoody on top. She had no idea why other women chose to expose their bodies like this, she felt completely naked. But she reminded herself it was all for a good cause.

Strappy, very high heels completed the outfit. She was glad she'd learnt to walk in those things in her previous life, otherwise she'd have been falling on her face all night.

"What do you think?" she asked, standing in front of the floor to ceiling mirrors of the built-in wardrobe.

"You look gorgeous," Jeff said.

She frowned as she met his eyes in the mirror.

"You don't sound too happy about that," she said.

Jeff sighed and came to stand behind her, putting his arms around her stomach and pulling her back against him.

"Promise me one thing," he said, his eyes still locked on hers in the mirror.

"What?"

"That you'll always be real with me," Jeff said. "I won't be able to stand it if you pretend to be someone else when you're with me."

She smiled at him.

"That's an easy one. I'm always myself with you, Jeff. You make it easy."

"Good. Coz everything's easier for me when I'm with you, too," he smiled back, kissing the top of her head.

He held her a while longer before stating, "I love this outfit. The colour brings out your beautiful eyes."

She wasn't so sure. Her eyes looked as dead as they always were. But Jeff was an artist; he saw things other people didn't, so she was going to take his word for it.

"They look more silver than gray tonight. So fascinating..."

She chuckled.

"I think we better get going before you pull your sketch pad and paints out," she laughed, leaving his arms to grab a little designer handbag that Jeff had said went with her outfit.

_A handbag! _She preferred back packs, or just stuffing her wallet in her pockets, but things had to change now. _Maria_ would probably never be seen dead without a stylish handbag.

"Come on, gorgeous. I need a drink," she said, pulling him out of the door.

They walked down to the lobby, her arm linked through his and met Matt and Shane by the doors.

"You look beautiful, Katrina," Matt said.

Oh God! Did she have to answer him? She was afraid if she opened her mouth, terrible things would come out.

She chose to smile instead as she was led to a waiting taxi.

"You promised," Jeff whispered as he sat down next to her. "Please. Just be yourself."

Trust Jeff to notice something like that.

"You're saying you'd rather I insult your brother?"

"I'd rather you two be friends, but not this way, not when you're pretending. You said you wouldn't do that when I'm with you."

She rolled her eyes.

"Fine. I'll stop pretending."

For tonight, anyway.

And it wasn't as if Randy was going to be there to see her, anyway. As long as she showed her face and at least made a good enough impression on Melina – Jeff had told her the woman's name – and her friends for them to go out with her the following night, it didn't really matter what she said to Jeff's brother and his friend.

As for Adam or John, she'd had to pretend to like men who'd been less than pleasing to the eye for most of her childhood. She was sure that when the time came, she'd be able the muster up the strength to pretend to like their touch, too.

* * *

She really hadn't intended to drink so much. But all these weird people had kept coming up to her, making it harder and harder for her to play nice.

Like when some idiot man with a lisp had come up to her and introduced himself as the 'Two time, two time, All American American'. She'd looked at Jeff to silently ask if the man was for real before bursting into a fit of laughter and declaring she needed a strong drink.

"Jack Swagger," the man had insisted, smiling at her as he'd extended his hand.

"Thwagger?" she'd chuckled.

"I get that a lot. Can I buy you that drink, then?" he'd asked.

"Sorry. I don't think I can pretend to like you," she'd replied, earning a chuckle from Jeff as he'd placed a glass of whiskey on the rocks in front of her.

It hadn't stopped there. The men had come at her from all directions, in all shapes and sizes and the more she'd drunk, the funnier it seemed.

"I can't believe the nerve of those men. Can't they see I'm with Dolph," she laughed as she put her arm around the man and pulled him closer.

"Maybe they can tell I'm only sitting here under duress," Dolph said as he extracted himself and moved to sit next to Melina instead.

"Oh, don't be like that, Dolph. I thought we were friends," she laughed again.

"Don't worry, babe. You still have me," Jeff said as he pulled her back to sit next to him in the booth. "I'd never treat you the way Dolph is doing."

"You'd think I'd done something really mean to him or something, yet everyone who knows me would tell you what a ray of fucking sunshine I am," she said, after which both her and Jeff burst out laughing.

"You two really look good together," Melina commented.

"Thank you Melina," she said with a straight face. "I've tried to tell the man the same thing but he just says weird things like 'oh, I got a girlfriend and I love her very much.' I have to give up now. Maybe I'll move on to Shane."

"I've already said I'm more awesome than the Hardys put together," Shane laughed.

"Well, get me another drink and we'll talk."

So the drinks had kept on coming and she'd found herself enjoying herself more and more. She even let herself into being talked into a dance by the pretty boy, John.

* * *

Jeff watched his friend whine around Morrison and smiled.

"Is she still pretending?" Matt asked.

"No. She's halfway drunk," he chuckled.

"She's real funny," Shane said. "I still don't see why you said she's a cold one."

"Did you hear the way she blew MVP off?" Matt laughed.

They all laughed as they thought back. Yes, she'd been really cold to start off with, though Jeff thought she'd still been milder than normal, still trying to pretend. But the alcohol had kicked in now, he knew the last thing on her mind was keeping an emotional distance with everyone.

"Melina's right though," Shane said. "You two do look good together. I don't know what it is, but I can tell she's completely at ease with you; and you... you seem... happier, maybe? I don't know if that's the word coz I know you're happy, anyway."

"Well, keep thoughts like that to yourself. The last thing I want is for Angie to get something like that in her head," he grumbled as he drowned his drink.

"You really do have a girlfriend?" Melina questioned.

"Yeah, she was just pulling your leg before. We're just good friends," Jeff explained. "She's like my little sister, I've never even thought about her like that."

"Why is she like that with me, though?" Dolph asked.

"She likes you. Really," Jeff smiled.

And he knew that was true, to some fashion. Dolph had been the only one he'd seen so far who she'd intentionally touched and smiled at without being drunk, even if her intentions weren't very nice.

Dolph grunted his disbelief and ordered another drink.

"Jeff," Matt said in hushed tones, nudging him. "Look who's just walked in."

His eyes followed his brother's to see Randy walking in with his new fiancé and his friends, Adam and John. His eyes narrowed. He really wanted a chance to get his hands on the dick, but he knew now wasn't the time.

"You think we should get her out of here?" he asked his brother.

"Look at her. She looks happy. She looks like she's over him. I think it'll do her a bit of good, staying a while longer," Matt said. "Maybe this plan of hers isn't so bad. She looks amazing and most of the men in here are staring at her. She could have a new boyfriend by the end of the night if she wanted, and Randy can only watch. Just think what will be going through his head when he sees her."

"Yeah, but what will she do when she sees him? What if she throws herself at him? Or what if she breaks down, right there in the middle of the dancefloor? I can't let her do that to herself."

Finishing his drink, he got up and walked towards the happy couple.

"May I cut in?" he asked Morrison.

"Sure. I don't think my poor heart can handle any more of her lethal moves tonight," John teased as he dropped a kiss on Kat's cheek and backed away.

"Hey, dude," Kat smiled.

"Hey, dude," he replied just as a slow song started playing.

"Were you getting jealous?" she teased as she moved into his arms without even a second thought.

"Yes. Seems I got here in time, too," he laughed as he held her as close as she'd get and started moving to the music.

He knew she hadn't noticed Randy yet; he just hoped that once she did, she'd follow his lead and pretend not to give a fuck. If she couldn't, at least he'd be able to get her off the dancefloor and out the door without making a scene, as Morrison would surely have done if she'd just frozen in his arms or something.

"This is nice," she said. "I'm glad I came out tonight. I'm glad you're here. I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too, Kitty Kat." He smiled down at her before dropping a kiss on her head.

* * *

"I'm not suggesting he's cheating on Angie, but have you ever seen him like this with anyone?" Shane asked.

Matt sipped his drink as he watched his brother and Katrina moving slowly on the dancefloor. He still couldn't put his finger on what changed in Jeff when he was around Kat, but there was no denying that he _did_ change.

"No. I haven't," he answered. "But maybe that's because Katrina's different. Once you spend a bit more time with her, you'll probably figure it out yourself. She's been through some stuff in her life that makes her push everyone else away, but every now and then, like tonight, you catch glimpses of the real her. And it makes you want to just figure out what the hell happened to her."

"Are we still talking about Jeff here, or are we talking about you?"

"Me, I guess," he admitted. "I really don't get that girl and it irritates the hell out of me."

"Do you want to get with her?" Shane asked.

"What?! No," he answered. "Like Jeff said earlier, she's starting to become like an irritating little sister to me, too. I guess I just want to... protect her."

As he said this, his eyes wandered to Orton's table, and saw that the Viper's cold eyes were fixed on the couple on the dancefloor. The man wasn't even hiding it from Maria, or the other occupants of the table. But he looked closer and realised that the other occupants were openly staring at Jeff and Kat, too. Maria looked disgusted. Adam and John just looked like every other man who'd been coming up to Kat all night to ask for a dance – very interested.

"Did he hurt her that bad?" Shane asked, following his gaze to look at Orton.

"If you'd heard what I heard, and seen the way she broke down, you'd want to keep her away from that bastard, too."

* * *

Katrina smiled as she lay her head on Jeff's chest and continued to move to the music. She felt safe here, in his arms. She always felt safe with Jeff. But she had a feeling that once she put her plan in motion Jeff wouldn't really like her very much.

But she didn't want to think about Randy, not now. There was going to be time enough for that later, when she lay in bed. That was when thoughts of him usually overwhelmed her.

She was about to tell Jeff she wanted to sit down for a while when she met cold eyes across the room. Even in the dim light of the club, she could tell how thoroughly pissed off Randy was.

"Are you alright?"

By the way Jeff forced her to keep moving, she knew he'd known when Randy had come into the club.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, feeling as though she was about to just crumble at his feet.

"Because you looked really happy and I wanted him to see you like that," Jeff admitted. "I want him to see that he can't hurt you."

"But he can," she whispered, though she knew Jeff had done the right thing.

She'd wanted Randy to see her all dressed up enjoying herself with other people, and she knew, had she known he was in the same room, she probably would've have walked out before he'd even seen her.

"No. He can't," Jeff said, tipping her chin so she looked up at him. "I won't let you dwell on him anymore, you're so much better than him. You'll find someone worthy of you, soon, someone who won't hurt you, someone who won't keep you their little secret."

She didn't realise they'd stopped moving, and that to anyone looking at them they looked like a couple madly in love and lost in each other's eyes.

"I don't want to be his dirty secret. That's why I'm doing this, so he knows it's all or nothing," she whispered.

"You're still going to go through with your plan?" he sighed.

"I have to."

"Then I really want no part of that," he said.

"Jeff..."

"I mean it, Kitty Kat. I can't watch him hurt you again."

She looked away from his eyes and put her head on his chest again, even though they weren't moving.

"Are you abandoning me?"

Her chin was tipped up again.

"I'll always, _always _be here for you. For anything else. Just don't come to me about Orton."

"I need you," she whispered.

It was Jeff's turn to look away, then he put her head back on his chest and kissed her hair again.

"I can't," he said.

They slowly started to move again, and her eyes found Orton's. He looked ready to kill her.

She found that funny, after the nasty things he'd said to her. She hoped his anger meant he still felt like he had about her, and that he would come back to her soon. She really couldn't do without him for much longer.

Why did he always get so angry when she was with Jeff when he knew Jeff was only her friend? She'd explained over and over again that nothing romantic would ever happen with Jeff, yet Randy had got it in his head that they were simply too close for it not to happen. Maybe he was right. She didn't see any other platonic friends as close as she and Jeff were. Maybe he'd been right to feel jealous, as her 'boyfriend'.

But he had no right now, not with Maria sitting near enough on his lap. He had no right whatsoever. And if he wanted her, he would have to choose.

"Will you let me sketch you when we get back?"

She looked up and smiled at her friend.

"I've been waiting for you to ask all night," she laughed.

"Am I that transparent?"

"Yes," she chuckled, snuggling up to him again.

She notice Randy get up from his seat then storm out of the club amid protests and questions from the people he was sitting with. A smile played on her lips as she hoped she was the reason he was gone. She probably was. Randy had never liked Jeff and had done anything he could to stop her from spending time with him.

And just like that, she had the most brilliant idea.

She looked up at Jeff and beamed brightly at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing. Let's get out of here."

**Thank you for your reviews and for those who put this story on their alerts and favs. Thank you for reading. Hope you've enjoyed this one. I'll update sooner next time.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, so it wasn't a day. More like a few minutes since I posted Sex on Fire. Ha! Sorry it's shorter than usual.**

* * *

The stupid bitch! The nasty, skanky little whore!

What right did she have being all over Hardy like that? She was supposed to be _his_ woman! Well, okay, so he'd said some stuff while he'd been angry, but she should have known better than to take him seriously.

Randy drowned another shot of whiskey and signalled for another, still mentally cursing her. Now, not only was he drinking more than he'd planned to, he also had to think of some excuse why he'd stormed out on his fiancé and friends.

Maybe if he said he wasn't feeling well...

He blanched at the thought of explaining himself. He was the Viper. He didn't need to explain himself. And if Maria thought different, he could just tell her where to get off.

But he knew he couldn't do that, not if he was hoping Maria would marry him soon. He had to play nice.

Drowning his last shot, he left some notes on the bar and walked out, only to stop at the door when he saw Katrina and Jeff walking into the hotel.

The bitch was laughing like she didn't have a care in the world, tucked under Hardy's arm. Grinding his teeth, he watched them cross the lobby until they stood by the elevators.

What the hell was she playing at? She could dress up for Hardy but she couldn't do it for him? How many times had he asked her to make a bit of any effort? Did it really matter that the second she'd walked into his room he'd ripped her clothes off her body anyway? He'd have still wanted to see her looking good.

"Naked?" he heard Jeff ask.

"Like you'd have let me keep my clothes on," Katrina grunted.

"Not a chance. I love your body."

Randy would have knocked him out if their elevator doors hadn't opened at that second.

Katrina had told him over and over that there was nothing sexual between her and Jeff, but the way the man had spoken... like he was very familiar with the delights of Katrina's body... He wanted to kill the guy.

He took his phone out and dialled a number before he could change his mind. Then he made his way to the stairwell.

He wasn't going to beg. No, he wasn't.

* * *

Katrina's phone rang just as the elevator let them out on the top floor. Her heart skipped a beat when she noticed who the caller was.

Was her plan working so soon, before she'd even really implemented it?

"Is it Randy?" Jeff asked.

She nodded.

"Don't answer it. Don't go running back to him," Jeff begged.

"I won't run back to him." At least, not yet. "You go ahead and get your paints ready. I won't take long."

She watched Jeff shake his head as he walked down the hall to their room before answering her phone.

"What?" she snapped.

She had to let him know that she wouldn't tolerate being treated like shit any longer, hence the tone.

"We need to talk."

She swallowed as her heart beat a bit faster. She wanted to see him, but she knew what happened everytime they were alone. She just couldn't resist him.

"I'm busy right now."

"I only need five minutes."

And within one minute, she could be naked with his huge dick inside her...

She closed her eyes against the image and pushed herself to remember why she was staying away from him. He had to choose. Her or Maria. She couldn't be his plaything anymore.

"Jeff's waiting for me."

"Please."

The whole time they'd been together, the Viper had never used that word with her. Was he softening?

"Two minutes," she relented. "Where are you?"

Well, she'd known she had to meet with him at least once to let him know what the deal was. She just hadn't wanted to do it when she was slightly drunk. It would be easier for him then to have his way with her. Then she'd be back to square one... just his bit on the side.

"Look behind you."

She turned to find him leaning against the wall behind the glass fire doors of the stairwell, phone to his ear. Had he been waiting for her? How had he known where to find her?

Slowly she made her way to him, steeling herself against what she knew she would feel. This man had managed to slip through where no one else had, and if she didn't play this right she knew she'd lose him forever.

She finally stood in front of him, her arms crossed protectively across her chest. Would he know it was a defence mechanism? He was always very observant, so it probably wouldn't escape him. But she couldn't help it. The guy was just so gorgeous, she knew if he wanted to, he could probably take her against the wall and she wouldn't be able to stop him.

"What?" she asked, when the silence stretched a bit too long for her liking.

"You're sleeping with Hardy," Randy stated.

"It's none of your business," she snapped.

"You told me nothing like that would ever happen."

"That was before I got tired of being with a snake like you."

She looked away from him and prayed that none of this would get back to Jeff. She hadn't exactly confirmed Randy's statement but she hadn't denied it either. If he was a gossiping man, it would be all everyone was talking about by the end of the night, but Randy normally didn't care about anyone else's business. So hopefully, this lie would stay between them. Jeff didn't need to know.

Unless he decided to share it with his fiancé.

"I was angry. You know how I get when I'm angry," Randy said.

What? Was that an apology?

He was just like her in that aspect, words like 'sorry' didn't make it past their lips easily.

"Well, what's done is done. You spoke your mind and made me realise I didn't want to be treated like shit anymore, so I guess I owe you for that," she shrugged.

"I never treated you like shit__"

"Of course you did," she chuckled humourlessly. "Everytime we stole a couple of hours and I lay on my back for you. Everytime you went back to Maria. Everytime you showed me or told me just how worthless you thought I was. But Jeff made me see that it shouldn't be like that."

"But he's got a girlfriend, too!"

Shit.

"Not anymore. He's with me now," she lied.

Randy ran a hand through his hair as he turned away from her. She had a feeling he wanted to pace as well but only stopped himself because he didn't want her to see just how affected he was.

She almost smiled.

"What we have is different," Randy said.

"What we had."

"What, you think it's gone? You think you won't melt when I touch you?" Randy asked, a gleam in his eyes as he looked straight into hers.

She knew what that look meant.

"I'm never going to let you touch me again. You made your choice."

"I was with Maria already when you started sleeping with me," Randy pointed out.

"But you weren't committed to her. I don't sleep with committed men."

A slight frown marred his perfect features.

"So you don't want to be with me anymore because I asked her to marry me?" he asked.

"That and a few other things. I deserve a lot better than what you offered me."

The gleam came back in his eyes.

"You liked what I offered you," he said, his voice dropped low. "You liked it very, very much."

She swallowed and almost kicked herself when a satisfied smirk slowly graced his lips. Then he took a step towards her, then another.

She should have run, but her feet were glued to the spot. Her body had been calling out for his for too long and it wanted this. It wanted whatever he could give her.

Randy stopped only when his body came into contact with hers, smirking again when she let out an involuntary little moan.

"Did you miss me, Katrina?" he whispered, his hands slowly inching from her shoulders down her arms.

"Randy..."

"Shh..."

He had undone the button of her jeans before she even realised what he was doing. Something in the back of her head was telling her to stop, that he would never take her seriously if she fell at the first hurdle, but his lips came down to the side of her neck and made her completely forget the voice in her head.

His lips felt a million times better than she remembered. Was it because she'd realised she was in love with him? Or was it merely because she'd been away from him too long?

She felt the cool wall on her back, then his large thigh in between her legs and moaned. She could feel how hard he was. How she'd missed this! His lips finally came down on hers and she gave into the feelings in her body completely.

It was when she felt his hand snaking into her panties that she froze.

She wanted this... how she wanted this... but he would never choose if he knew he could have her whenever he wanted.

"Get off me," she said.

"What?" Randy asked incredulously, his breathing as laboured as her own as he lifted his head from hers.

"I meant what I said," she said, pushing him off. "What we had was good. It was fucking awesome. But you chose someone else so I've got to move on from that."

"Katrina, don't do this," Randy said hoarsely. "Don't change the rules on us. You knew I was going to ask Maria to marry me."

"And I knew the moment you did, I'd have to end this."

"Why didn't you ever tell me, then?"

"Because I didn't think it would become an issue. You told me often enough how little I mean to you, I thought you'd just shrug and let me go," she said truthfully. "Besides, we never really talked anyway. We were always too busy fucking."

She buttoned up her jeans and straightened her clothes. This was harder than she'd thought. Could she really walk away from this man if he still chose Maria, after all this?

"I haven't married her yet. We could still be together," Randy insisted.

"Don't you get it yet, Randy?" she sighed as she took one last look at him. "I want to be more than your whore, more than anybody's whore. I want to be with someone who treats me right, someone who talks to me. If you can't give me that, I have to move on."

"You want me to choose," Randy stated.

"Can you do that?"

"I don't think I can," he answered, his eyes hardening.

"See you around, then," she said, swinging the fire doors open.

When she finally knocked on her door for Jeff to let her in, she looked back to see him still standing there, watching her.

* * *

Jeff listlessly flicked through the channels, a bit angry with himself for letting Kat go. She'd said she wouldn't be long but she'd been half an hour, at least. She was probably letting Randy fuck her.

He tossed the remote aside and sighed. He might as well get ready for bed. He knew from past experience that Randy and Kat could go all night if they wanted to.

But a soft knock at the door stopped him mid stride.

"Kitty?" he asked when he saw her looking so small on the other side of the door. "What happened?"

She shook her head and gave him a little smile, and he knew this meant she wasn't ready to talk about it. He pulled her into his arms and closed the door.

So much for not getting dragged into the Orton shit.

"Are you going to sketch me, or what?" she asked after he'd held her for a little while.

"Of course. Whenever you're ready," he said, turning so she could see that he already had a place set up.

* * *

Randy had seen Jeff pull her into the room and close the door behind them, and his mind had come up with all sorts of conclusions.

Was Katrina going to take all her pent up frustrations out on him? Was she going to let him fuck her until she forgot about what they'd almost done right there in the stairwell? Was she going to let Jeff finish the job he, himself, had started?

Punching the wall once, he walked out of the stairwell to the elevators and punched the button to call it.

Stupid little bitch! She wanted him to choose? Was there really a contest between her and Maria, when it came to wife material? So Kat cleaned up good when she put her mind to it, but that still didn't mean it made her worthy of him. Maria had in-built class, which was something Katrina could never have. He didn't want a wife like her.

_But you don't want a wife like Maria either._

He growled as the voice in his head taunted him just as the door opened. There was another occupant in the lift, an elderly woman, but he ignored her gentle smile and punched his floor in.

_It's true. You know Maria can never hold a man like you. That's why you have all those women, left, right and centre._

He growled again at the voice. The woman looked at him then quickly looked away.

_In fact, you know that the only reason you asked her to marry you in the first place was because you thought Katrina would always be there to make marriage to that cold fish more tolerable._

"Shut up!" he snapped.

The woman pushed herself to the very corner of the lift.

Maria wasn't cold. She wasn't! She loved it when he touched her. Just because she didn't enjoy it as much as Katrina...

_You know she's cold. You know she fakes it. That Katrina, on the other hand... she comes like a fucking volcano for you._

"I said shut up!" he snapped again, just as the lift stopped on his floor.

He didn't bother looking at the woman as he marched to his door and all but broke it down in his haste to be by himself.

"There you are. I was worried sick, baby," Maria said once he'd let himself in. "Are you alright?"

He glared at her. She wasn't cold. She just wasn't as passionate as Katrina was.

"Baby?" she asked.

He took a few steps towards her but she stepped back. Katrina would have known his intentions. Katrina would have met them head on.

_Face it buddy. You fucked up._

He growled before grabbing Maria and kissing her for all she was worth. He didn't fuck up. He was the Legend Killer. He never fucked up.

"Slow down, baby..."

Katrina would never have thought to bank down his lust. She would have been burning up as much as he was.

_Fucked up... _

"Take your clothes off. _Now!_"

"Have you been drinking?"

What the fuck was wrong with this woman??

_Cold...frigid... bitch..._

"Now!" he snapped.

He'd prove that voice wrong. He'd made the right choice. And besides, Katrina had just proved she couldn't stop him if he wanted to have her again. All he had to do was get her alone... She'd forget all about Hardy and fucking melt in his arms...

_Unlike this bitch here..._

Growling, he pushed Maria down onto the bed and urgently ripped her clothes off himself.

* * *

**AN/ SO sorry for the long wait. I'll be concentrating on this one more now that I've got over that certain bit in Sex On Fire.**

**Thank you for your reviews of the last chapter and for putting this on your favs or alerts. Just stick with me while I get back in the swing of this story. Let me know what you think.**


	13. Chapter 13

I'm so sorry. I'm back now.

_The age of consent in Chicago is seventeen. After I went back to live with Mother, she decided- even though I was still sixteen, that I could pass for seventeen and therefore get checked out by a doctor with no questions asked. She was protecting her investment, you see. I'd been having sex for seven years now, with all sorts of scum. Sometimes there were 'accidents' and other times Mother was just very greedy and wanted the extra few hundred dollars that the men paid her for unprotected sex with me. Sometimes they even paid a thousand on top. Or so Mother said. I'm not really sure how much she charged for me but I know she lied to me about what she'd made off me over the years. _

_Anyway, sixteen year old sexually active girls weren't rare. That meant she wasn't making as much off me as she used to and so had to take better care of me so the clients weren't put off. A month or two after I went back, she wrote down a fake history for me and made me memorise it – everything from where we lived, where I went to school, what my parents did and of course my fake boyfriend, the one I'd lost my virginity to 'a few months ago'. I was supposed to play innocent, from my attitude down to the ponytail in my hair. I wasn't to bring any suspicion on myself._

_I thought my mother was crazy. Anyone looking at me would be able to see what total bullshit that was, and worse still, a nurse or doctor actually touching me. The scars on my wrists and the tracks up my arms weren't invisible. And I'm sure I looked high as a kite. Innocence? I'd lost that when I was nine!_

_But I had to go. I had to sit there at the walk-in medical center, all clean and dressed in my new jeans and nice top – the type of shit girls my age were wearing. I had to pretend I wasn't dying for a hit. I was back to taking it so often now that I shook if I went without it for too long. I filled a few forms in with my shaky hand and hoped they wouldn't be able to tell exactly why I was shaky. Mum had stressed that whatever happened, I was on my own. But she'd also said, if I did get caught and had people sniffing up my butt, she'd make sure she went to see my friend, the one I'd walked out on. That was the last thing I wanted. _

_When my name was called, a nurse led me to a room where they weighed me, took my blood pressure and then finally some blood samples. I'd had the sense to add a pair of long, fingerless gloves to my outfit that hid the worst of the damage but I'm sure she noticed it. After declaring I was way too skinny, my blood pressure was through the roof and that my blood test results would be about an hour, I was sent to another woman. This one asked all sorts of questions and I really wished I could tell her what was really happening to me. I wished she could help me. But I knew I was beyond help. I told her about the fake boyfriend and how I was afraid I'd caught something. Before long I was in another room, on my back with another nurse taking swabs. I was probably very damaged down there – some of my clients like really freaky shit – or maybe it was just a big, massive hole due to being used too many times. Either way, it probably didn't look like it had only been a few months since I'd been sexually active._

_But no one said anything. They sent me to the waiting room to wait for my blood results and told me to come back after a week for my swab results. When I went back, no one said anything then either. At the time, I was very relieved but looking back now, knowing I looked like shit, I think they were very negligent. They should have said something. They should have done something. Maybe then I would have been spared all the horrors that were still to come. _

_Surprisingly, they found no diseases. Apart from my high blood pressure, I was clean. They hadn't thought to do any drug tests, even though I looked so bad. They gave me a pack of cheap condoms and sent me on my way. Back to my pathetic life._

_That night I'd been bought by 'Joe', the one who usually had me all night. After a week spent thinking I probably had some STD, I was grateful, because I thought I'd get to be pampered a little._

_But it didn't work out like that. That night 'my Joe' became like all the other Joes. I don't know if it was some sick fantasy of his or he was just fed up with me because I was older but the second I walked into that cheap motel room he was one nasty son of a bitch. He slammed the door behind me and pushed me against it._

"_What's going on_?"_

"_Shut up, you bitch," he hissed, his hand around my neck. "I don't want to hear a single word out of you tonight."_

_And because he owned me for the night, what he wanted he got._

_He always made me wear little dresses and that night was no different. He ripped my thongs off and shoved his dick into me, all the while squeezing the breath out of me. It seemed to turn him on, watching consciousness slowly leaving me. It turned him on more when he slammed my head against the door. It wasn't the first time someone had been rough with me, but I think because I hadn't expected it from him it kind of made me think. Everytime mum sold me, she put my life in danger. Any one of these men could easily have killed me and no one would know or care._

_I passed out and when I came to, I was on the bed with my legs over his shoulders. Judging from the semen all over me, Joe hadn't really cared that he'd been fucking me while I was unconscious. And he hadn't used any protection. The funny thing is, my first thought was, 'Mother's going to kill him. He didn't pay for this.' I should have thought what it meant for me._

_He was cumming inside me over and over again. _

oOo

"Dude, are you okay?"

Jeff snapped out of his bubble and focused on Kat. He was seriously thinking of not reading the rest of that book because at odd moments, he just drifted off and thought about Grace. Who was she, really? Where was she now? Was she getting help to get over her past?

"Sorry. I was just thinking," he said as he sipped his coffee.

"So are you coming out with me tonight or what?"

"Twice in a row? Can't we just chill out in our room like we always do?"

"I promised John and Melina."

"You're using their names now? What happened to Pretty Boy and the Loud Latina?" he chuckled.

"Well, if I'm going to spend time with them I can't call them that, can I?" Kat shrugged.

"I suppose one more night out won't kill me," he grumbled.

For some reason his answer made her extremely pleased. He got suspicious straight away.

"What are you planning?"

"Nothing. I just didn't want to be alone with people I don't know," she said.

He could buy that. The girl was near enough a recluse so she'd probably feel a bit apprehensive about going out without one of the few people she trusted. But still, something didn't sit well.

He saw Randy walk into the restaurant with Cena, Ted and Cody and thought about leaving before he'd finished his breakfast just so Kat wouldn't have to deal with Randy. He didn't know what had happened between the two last night but he knew Kat had been upset, even if she'd tried to hide it.

Before he could suggest they go, Kat turned and saw the new arrivals as they sat at a table nearby.

"We could go," he suggested.

"Don't be silly. This is exactly what I want. The more Randy sees me, the more my plan works."

"And I've told you I don't want any part of your plan. I can't sit here watching you play up just so he notices you," he growled angrily.

"But I don't have to play up when I'm with you," Kat said softly, taking his hand in hers.

He frowned at her but said nothing. He knew Randy always got angry when he saw them together; the guy had some mistaken belief that there was something going on. But, while he'd always enjoyed flirting with Kat while Randy was watching, there was no need for it now. They weren't together anymore. And if he had his way, there was no way Kat was going to get back with the psycho. That meant making sure Kat didn't run into him as often, that way she couldn't really carry out her plan.

He looked over at their table again and saw the Viper's eyes narrowed angrily on him. Whatever happened the previous night, Orton obviously thought Kat was still his property.

"Come on. You said you don't want to help me with this and I respect that," Kat said as she let go of his hand, "but that doesn't mean I'm going to run everytime I see him when I'm with you. Let's finish our breakfast."

He reluctantly picked up his fork and knife again. No, he supposed he couldn't whisk her out of Orton's way everytime they saw him.

So they finished their breakfast. He noticed, though, that she seemed to laugh a lot. Once or twice he thought he heard her giggle but he couldn't be sure. He'd never heard her giggle before. And there was a lot of hand holding. They normally had a lot of contact anyway, but somehow this morning was different. She was doing all of it to draw Orton's attention. She was using him, even though she'd promised not to.

"Alright, cut the crap and let's go," he said, throwing a bundle of notes on the table.

"Whatever do you mean?" Kat asked innocently.

He could completely see through her.

He shook his head and got up. His Southern upbringing meant he normally pulled her chair out for her anyway, but when he did it that morning and saw Kat's grin, he knew he shouldn't have.

And when they walked past Randy's table on their way out, he saw the man was seething. It had probably looked like something was going on, just as he'd always thought.

"Hey, Katrina," Cena called out.

"Hey," Kat smiled.

She actually _smiled_. The girl was enjoying herself. He probably would have enjoyed himself too if the purpose of this exercise was to just rub Orton's face in it and move on, but because she was doing it to get him back...

She linked her arm through his and gave Cena a quick wave as they continued past the table.

"If you ever do that shit with me again I swear I'll walk out on you," he snapped. "The hell were you thinking? Randy probably thinks we're together now."

"Oh chill, dude! That was harmless," Kat chuckled. "Besides, Randy's always thought we fuck."

"Yeah, well, he can't think that now. The last thing I want is for this to get back to Angie. We have enough problems as it is."

"It won't happen again," Kat said quickly. "Now, how about you help me choose something to wear tonight? I want to look good."

But he was still frowning. He was going to call Angie later to ask if she wanted to join him on the road the weekend of Armageddon, he really didn't need shit like this flying around the place.

* * *

He'd chosen a black skirt for her this time to show off her nice legs. It was knee length and close fitting, respectable enough but with the slit at the side and her lethal curves, Kat looked hot. The top he chose with it was absolutely indecent, to save her from looking like she was going to the office rather than a club. It dipped low at the front and was completely backless, save for the tiny straps that tied together on her lower back. With the killer heels and her hair in its usual disarray – he still couldn't get his head around the fact that she'd had it professionally done – she looked delicious.

"Are you sure it's not too much?"

"You look gorgeous," he said again as they walked into the club. "Just relax."

They found Morrison and Melina straight away with a few other Divas and the night proceeded well enough. He could tell Kitty Kat was still a bit tense but anyone who didn't know her wouldn't be able to tell. He relaxed a little after about an hour, when he started to believe that she didn't have an ulterior motive to bringing him along.

But then Orton and his minions walked in, and she waved them over. Orton walked behind Ted, Cody, John and Adam, his cold eyes shooting daggers at him. Then they lowered to his hand.

It was only then that he noticed that Kat had her hand in his. And to anyone looking, it sent a very subtle but sure message.

Shit.

* * *

Before Jeff could remove his hand from hers, Kat did it first, as the guys got to their table. She made it a point not to look at Randy as she stood up to kiss John and Adam on their cheeks in greeting. _Kissing their cheeks! _She really hoped that was something she wouldn't need to keep up once she had Randy back. She hated anything invading her personal space – except when it was her new family or Jeff.

"You look beautiful," John said as they all pulled up chairs to join their table.

"Thanks," she smiled, hoping the smile didn't look as forced as it really was.

"Where've you been? I haven't seen you backstage at all," Adam said.

"You wouldn't see me unless I was half naked and falling all over you," she said with another smile to mask the catty statement.

"Wait. Is that an insult?"

"Of course not, Adam," she smiled sweetly.

John chuckled, obviously seeing her statements for what they were. Jeff would have chuckled too, but when she looked up at him she noticed he and Randy were locked in some sort of battle of wills. She'd never seen so much hate in Jeff's eyes. He was a nice guy, he got along with everybody. It was somewhat a shock but knowing he hated Randy that much because he cared about her warmed her heart. It had taken her a while to get used to the fact that there were actually people out there who genuinely cared about the wellbeing of others, people like Hunter and Steph and the rest of the family – including that irritating Shawn. Seeing the proof of this in Jeff's eyes... well, it made her sit up a bit straighter, and her smile more genuine.

"Guys, this lovely lady here is Katrina," John said, starting the introductions. "Katrina, this is Ted, Randy and Cody."

Of course she wasn't going to let on that she already knew Orton in the most intimate way. She just smiled at the men in greeting, her eyes lingering only a little on Randy's. He smiled back, a little cold smile, and she suddenly got a bad feeling. It was like he thought this was a game, a challenge. Well, maybe it was, and she was playing for the ultimate prize – his heart. And even if he wasn't willing to relinquish that, some sort of commitment would do, some sort of acknowledgement that she was worthy to be known as his significant other.

But something in his smile told her it wasn't going to be easy.

* * *

Who the fuck did she think she was? She'd planned this whole charade – and make no mistake about it, he knew it was a charade; he'd seen the texts on John's phone when curiosity had got the better of him – but did she really think it would work?

By asking John and Adam to bring their friends, she had known he'd get roped into it. Then she had little Jeff ready and willing, waiting for him, holding her fucking hand, laughing with her, rubbing his nose in it. Just as she'd done that morning at breakfast.

Did she really think it would work? Did she think he'd get jealous? He didn't give a shit about her, why would he get jealous?

She'd said she didn't want to be a whore, but that was exactly what she was doing right now; sleeping with Jeff when she knew he wasn't done with her yet, not by a long shot. She still belonged to him. This little game she was playing would only prove that. Whatever she believed, whatever she wanted, it didn't mean shit to him. It was over when _he_ said it was, not a second sooner. If that made her a whore, then so be it.

She'd said he treated her like shit. What bullshit was that? She'd loved being with him, why else would she have stayed?

_Well, she's certainly gone now, isn't she?_

He silently cursed the voice that had been tormenting him since the previous night, keeping him up as it reminded him of everytime he'd slept with Kat, how it had seemed so new and magical each time.

_Magical? Fucking pussy!_

Great. Now the voice was laughing at him.

But he'd still prove it wrong. He was going to get Katrina alone and fuck her senseless. He was going to make her forget about this stupid game. Then he would make her pay for even thinking of going through with it in the first place.

_Yeah? And how are you going to do that? If you can get her away from Hardy, how are you going to make her come back to you? Are you going to tell her how fucking her is so _magical_? Are you going to cry? You fucked up..._

He needed a drink, before this night went any further.

"What's everyone having? My treat," he asked, giving Kat a little smile before his eyes landed on Jeff.

He saw Jeff put his arm around her and pull her closer to him without taking his eyes off his, as if he knew Katrina would jump at the chance of getting back with him. It lifted his spirits a little, enough to tell the voices to fuck off.

He took everyone's orders and grabbed Adam to help him carry the drinks back.

"I told you, didn't I?" Adam said when they were at the bar. "She looks so fuckable. As soon as Hardy turns his back, I'm all up in that one. Think I stand a chance?"

"No," he growled.

He hadn't meant to sound so possessive.

"Why?" Adam asked with a calculative frown, then chuckling when something occurred to him. "Because you think _you_ stand a chance? Forget it Orton. I don't think she does cold, arrogant bastards."

It was no secret to his friends that he played around on Maria. They just never knew who with. If it ever came out, the last thing he wanted was for the other women to be exposed, tangible proof of his indiscretions.

His eyes narrowed on Adam and he almost told him that she'd been doing him for months now. But he held his tongue.

"Don't be stupid. She's not my type."

"No, she's not, is she? You go for the obvious whores."

He swallowed back an insult. As far as he was concerned, all women were obvious whores! They all wanted something. Even Maria. He wasn't stupid, he knew the woman didn't love him, but she was marrying him anyway. He just hadn't worked out why, yet?

_Well, it's not for the sex, you fucking stud, you._

He paid the bartender and grabbed some of the drinks before the voice could say anymore. Back at the table it was disconcerting to see Katrina laughing with his friends, being a part of him in a way he'd denied her in the past.

Maybe he could have a bit of fun here, too, at her expense. Or maybe it would work out in his advantage. If she entangled herself with his friends, people wouldn't really question it if they saw them together, not when they believed her to be with Hardy.

"So, Kat. May I call you Kat?" he asked as he sat back in his chair and sipped his drink.

Her eyes narrowed as she eyed him suspiciously.

"No," she answered coldly.

"Told you!" Adam whispered beside him.

"Katrina, then," he said, ignoring Adam. "What do you do?" As if he didn't know.

"I work the camera," she answered.

"Easy enough job."

"Not when I have to find angles that don't show just how big your head is," she said, smiling sweetly at him.

"Ooooh!" Cena chortled.

"I like her," Melina laughed.

He narrowed his eyes, a genuine amused smile on his lips. They never really talked when they were together, but he'd always known she had a bit of a mouth on her. She'd never challenged her openly before, though. He normally didn't like his women to talk back to him, but he was suddenly curious to see where she was taking this game.

Maybe he wouldn't thwart it tonight, then. Maybe he'd play it out, let her think she was gaining ground.

But the one thing he wouldn't do was let go of the reins.

_Are you sure you still have them? Coz from where I'm standing, it looks like they're firmly in Kat's hands._

* * *

"Wanna dance baby?" Kat asked Jeff.

She needed a bit of time to regroup. In her head, the plan had worked perfectly. Randy was supposed to have sat there with his mouth shut, just a angry, jealous mass. He wasn't supposed to talk to her. He wasn't supposed to look at her as if he knew something she didn't.

"I'm a bit tired. Maybe one of these guys_"

Before he'd even finished speaking, Adam and Cody were on their feet. She looked at Jeff, her eyes asking what the hell he was doing. But he folded his arms across his chest and looked her squarely in the eye. He was letting her know that he was having no part of her game.

"Um... come on then Adam. I'll dance with you after, okay?" she said, recovering quickly from her shock and smiling at Cody.

Adam led her to the floor but she didn't miss the smirk he threw at Randy. She sighed and tried to shake away her resentment that she'd been reduced to this. Even when she saw Randy's eyes on them the entire time, it didn't make her uneasiness at being in Adam's arms go away. And it didn't help that Randy didn't look jealous. He still looked like he knew something she didn't.

When the song came to an end, she walked back to the table and gulped down her drink. She did the same after dancing with Cody, and consequently, the other males sitting with them. By the time Ted led them back to the table she was slightly tipsy, thankfully. She hadn't like what she'd started to remember when the men had twirled her on the dance floor.

"Are you alright?"

She looked at Jeff and saw how worried he was. Of course, he knew her better than all these people. He would know when she wasn't herself.

For a moment she was angry with him. If he was so worried, why had he let all those men touch her? But the anger drained away immediately. There was no way Jeff would know how terrified she'd been in those men's arms. And he never would.

"Yeah," she lied with a smile.

But of course he didn't buy it. She cursed the fact that he knew her so well.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

She weighed her options. Stay here where she'd suddenly lost all control and was suddenly transported to a time she didn't want to remember; or go back to their room, where Jeff would grill her?

As much as she didn't want Jeff to ever find out about her past, the thought of sitting with all these men made her ill. So she nodded her head.

"Aww, the night is still young," Cena protested.

"I'm just a bit tired," she lied.

She caught Randy's eyes and saw them narrowed in thought. She looked away quickly and let Jeff help her up.

They said their goodbyes quickly and walked out. Jeff didn't even protest when she leaned into him, in fact, he drew her closer.

She hoped to God she pulled herself together enough to not reveal the truth when they finally got back to the hotel.

* * *

**AN/ There you have it. After so long. Got to run. Busy busy busy. Thank you for all your reviews and for reading. Love you all.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Another long wait. So sorry. Here's a really long chapter to make up for it. Coz I'm probably going to take a long time with the next one too. Sorry.**

"Now look what you did," Adam hissed.

Randy pulled himself out of his thoughts long enough to frown in confusion at his friend.

"You scared her off! Do you always have to be a cold asshole? The way you were looking at her, like you were taking her apart piece by piece, would scare anybody, let alone a tiny little thing like her!"

"Oh, shut the fuck up," he said in irritation. "I didn't do that to her."

"He's right," Cena said. "Something's off with that girl, she was like that when I was dancing with her."

Hmm. Yes, he'd noticed. He'd got to know her body well the past few months and knew she'd definitely tensed up on the dancefloor – and had got worse with each guy she'd danced with. She'd probably thought he'd get jealous – and he had been, just a little bit – but it had been sort of fun watching her try. She was only dancing, after all. That was nothing.

But if she decided to up her game a little bit, if she decided to actually sleep with these bastards... well, there was going to be hell to pay.

"Well, she was fine when she was dancing with me," Cody smirked.

"That's because you were looking at her chest the whole time, you didn't notice anything else!" Ted snorted.

"Well, it's a mighty fine chest," Cody smirked again.

Randy's eyes narrowed on him for a second before he remembered Kat was supposed to have been a stranger before tonight. These idiots could be excused – only just – for drooling over her. But Jeff...

Jeff was a different matter. How the fuck did he think he was going to get away with fucking his girlfriend?

The thought made him swallow his drink quickly and announce he had to use the bathroom, before he smashed something in anger.

Katrina could play this game for however long she thought she could handle it. But Jeff... Jeff would know exactly what would happen to him if he touched her again. He would have to have a word with Hardy as soon as he could.

* * *

"Okay, spill," Jeff said as soon as they walked into their room.

"What?"

"What the hell was that all about?" he asked, sitting down next to her on the bed.

She looked away from him, a sure sign that she was about to utter pure and complete bullshit.

"Don't even try to lie to me," he said before she could say anything.

"Jeff... nothing's wrong; okay?"

"Listen, I know there's a lot of shit you don't talk about but on that dance floor you looked – I don't know – scared, or something. Something freaked you out and I want to know what it was."

"I just don't like people all up in my personal space," she shrugged. "You know that."

He would have bought that if she'd been able to look him in the eye. It was a good enough reason, and yes, he _did_ know how much she hated people. But her reaction made him think. _Why_ didn't she like people? He'd always assumed it was because she was antisocial, a loner. But tonight, somehow that reason didn't add up.

"Why?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"Why don't you like people in your space?"

"I just don't, alright," she snapped, getting up to walk to the closet. "A lot of people don't. It doesn't mean anything."

"But you were _scared_."

"I wasn't scared. Randy was looking at me like he... like he didn't give a shit. It just made the whole thing seem so pointless."

Well. That would explain it he supposed.

Before he could question her any further, there was a knock on the door. He sighed, as he got up. It was probably Matt. He'd have to send him away. Kat still looked a bit shaken, he was sure she wouldn't appreciate having Matt around.

He was right, only Matt had brought Shane with him.

"Hey guys. How did it go?" Matt asked as they walked in.

"Now's not really a good time_"

"Don't be ridiculous," Kat cut in. "Come on in, guys. Make yourselves at home."

He let out a sigh as he closed the door behind his brother and friend. Delaying tactics. Kat was using this distraction to get herself together; he knew he wouldn't get the truth out of her now.

"Wow. Is that a real smile?" Matt asked as he allowed himself to be pulled over to the couch in the room.

Jeff studied Kat for a second and judged that the smile was real. She looked relieved. She really hadn't wanted to talk. He had to start wondering why, again. What could be that bad that she would genuinely smile at someone she didn't like just so she could avoid talking about it? She even took out a bottle of JD and set it on the table with four glasses.

"My smiles for you are always genuine Matt," Kat said as she poured.

"Only when you're drunk," Matt snorted, still eying her suspiciously. "And you don't look drunk to me."

"Can't I be nice without all these questions?"

"I don't know. Can you?" Matt asked, accepting a drink from her and then sniffing it.

Jeff accepted the fact that she had won this round and walked to sit on the floor in front of the couch, taking a drink before drawing his knees to his chest.

"You complain when I'm nasty and you complain when I'm nice. What do you people want from me?" Kat said, rolling her eyes as she handed Shane a drink as well before grabbing the remaining one for herself.

"You're in a good mood, so I take it your evening went as planned?" Shane asked.

"What do you know about my plans," Kat asked immediately, her eyes narrowing on Shane, her voice slightly frosty.

"Um... I don't... I just thought, from what I heard..." Shane spluttered, obviously slightly taken aback by the mood change.

"You been talking about me, Nero?" She asked, turning her anger to him.

"You're Kitty Kat one week and the next some unrecognisable sex pot. Of course I've been talking about you," he snapped, not even bothering to deny it.

"You had no right_"

"Of course I did. And I'll keep talking about you till you stop this stupid charade," he cut in, even though he knew his statement was a bit childish.

"Why? So people feel sorry for me? Laugh at me? 'Oh, the poor girl got involved with a bad, bad man and now she's stupid enough to try to get him back.' What? What exactly will you achieve by telling people anything?"

She looked really angry. He was shocked. In the whole time they'd known each other they'd never really fought. She'd never been this angry with him before. Her eyes were actually scorching him, turning into a shade of blue that made him think of stormy seas and fire at the same time.

"Well, guess what. I don't give a shit. I've handled worse than a bunch of snivelling little gossips. And I dare _anyone_ to come to my face and say shit. What I'm doing is nobody's business but my own."

He frowned. It was true, this was something she never normally gave a shit about. She often said people could talk about her 'till they were fucking blue in the face.' But she never got angry about it. She dealt with it if it became a bother, but she _never_ got angry about it. So something else was going on here and he had a feeling it would reveal a lot more than if he had continued with his questioning earlier.

She started pacing, her drink still in her hand. He sipped his own and studied her, trying to work a few things out in his head.

"'Go out and make some friends' Hunter said. 'It'll be good for you. Blah, blah, blah,' he said. Well this is why I should have said no. I don't need anybody trying to get in my head. Friends suck."

She stopped pacing to look at him.

"See, you're doing it right now. Judging me. I should never have got close to you. You were a big mistake."

"Why?" he asked softly.

She poured herself another drink then continued pacing without answering him.

She was overreacting. In fact, he thought she was having some sort of breakdown. Something had spooked her tonight and she was lashing out.

"Why?" he asked again.

"Because you can't just leave things alone! You can't let me be."

She poured another drink.

She'd been tipsy before from the drinks she'd had at the club, now she'd had three straight shots already while they were all still on their first drinks.

"You can't judge me. Nobody can. It's my life. _Mine_. Nobody's going to tell me how to live it. You hear me? So what if I want to be with Randy? He's not good enough for me? And you know this from the _months_ you've known me? Well, that just goes to show you don't know shit! None of you do."

She'd always been a happy drunk, but the angry one had come out tonight. Jeff wanted to put his arms around her and hold her till she calmed down, tell her everything was going to be alright, but a need to understand her stopped him from doing that.

And with every word she said, he understood a little bit more.

He saw his brother frowning with worry as he watched her too.

"I've had to fight real hard to get where I am today and I ain't afraid to fight to get what I want. I've never cared what people think or say, I'm not going to start now. I want Randy and I want to be happy. If ya'll don't like that just fuck off. In fact, even if you're fine with it, just fuck off. I don't need any of you."

She stopped pacing to look at them in turn. Jeff could see the tears shimmering in her eyes, and that hurt him more than her words did. Unlike his brother who'd had to carry her to her room and hold her all night, he'd never seen her tears before.

And there was something else. Whereas usually he only saw glimpses of the pain in her eyes, tonight, the force of it almost knocked him over. It was so deep, so dark, so... frightening.

She turned away from him and started muttering to herself. He could only get bits of it, stuff like 'done it before', 'never needed anybody' all peppered with plenty of 'fuck them's. He'd never seen her like this before, and with every word she was mumbling, she seemed to be waning, her anger deflating, replaced by some sort of distress. Overwhelming distress. He could feel it from where he was sitting.

Then suddenly she stopped, right in the middle of the room. Stopped and didn't say another word. Jeff stood up, put his drink down and walked to her. He wasn't surprised to see she had tears falling down her face. He gently pulled her into his arm, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head.

His poor Kitty Kat. What in the world had she been through?

"Call me in the morning," Matt whispered as he and Shane put their drinks down and stood up.

He nodded, holding Kat a while longer before sitting her on the bed. Her tears were still falling down her face silently and she was looking straight ahead, her thoughts inwards, to some scary place he couldn't even begin to imagine. He slid to the floor and took her shoes off then he pulled her to her feet and unzipped her skirt. He slid that to the floor too, still not saying a word to her. What could he say when he didn't know what was going on?

He left her for only a second to get the t-shirt he'd flung on the chair earlier when he'd been getting dressed to go out, then turned her round to undo the straps of her top. Since there was so little of it, it had one of those inbuilt bra's, so he didn't turn her back around to put the t-shirt over her head, knowing she was completely exposed, bar the sexy little panties she wore – she had a penchant for sexy underwear which he usually teased her about. But all the laces and silks and satins on her never did anything for him anyway, not the way it would have to any other hot blooded male.

With his t-shirt now engulfing her, he turned her back round to face him and wiped her tears. He was disheartened to discover they were still silently flowing and that she still didn't even seem to realise he was there.

When she calmed down, he was going to have to make her talk. There were too many things in the past that she had avoided talking about and now he could see he shouldn't have let her do that. Holding it in had caused this – meltdown? Breakdown? – he still couldn't understand what that had been. She would _have_ to talk. It wasn't good for her, holding it in.

The Kitty Kat he knew would never have done that in front of him, and definitely not in front of Matt and Shane. Even the night they'd found out about Randy's engagement, she'd cried silently in the bath but when she'd come back out she'd been her usual self.

Did that mean that whatever she was crying about had nothing to do with Randy, or if it did, only indirectly?

He got her a large glass of water to drink so she wouldn't have a bad hangover in the morning, his heart sinking some more when he realised she couldn't hold the glass herself because she was shaking too badly. Her whole body was be shaking. Quickly, he led her to her side of the bed and tucked her in before kicking his shoes off and stripping so he only had his boxers on. He slept naked when he was by himself. Boxers were a huge concession he'd had to make when sharing a bed with Kitty. Then he got in behind her and held her. He didn't want to use the term 'spooned'.

It took a while for her to stop shaking, and by then so many things had taken root in his head. He wondered if he should call Hunter, but he knew she wouldn't want that, not when it meant he had to explain about Randy.

Eventually she drifted off. He turned the lamp back on, on his side so he could look at her. The tears were dry on her face but he could still see her distress. Gently, he ran a finger down her cheek. Would she ever tell him what had happened to her? His hand continued down her arm till he came to the faint marks on her wrist. When he'd noticed them the first time, she'd laughed them off, told him she'd been stupid, wished she'd never done that and that the cuts had not been deep enough to kill, because she'd just wanted a bit of attention. He'd believed her. But now he wasn't so sure if he'd been right to.

Frowning, he continued to watch her, continued to think.

At one point in the night, she got restless and started mumbling in her sleep. In all the time they'd shared a room or a bed, he'd never even heard a peep out of her. This was another telling sign that his friend wasn't doing alright.

One word kept sticking into him.

"No..."

And then another became more audible.

"Please..."

And then he heard the phrase that drained his face.

"Don't hurt me..."

His first thought was that Orton was a dead man. He'd hurt her physically many times since they'd got together. But then he remembered she was into that sort of thing. Not that she'd told him that, but the way she looked at Orton sort of told the whole story. She couldn't want a man that much if he was hurting her... could she? He'd read about abusive relationships, and he didn't think he'd ever understand how the victims stayed in them so long unless he was ever unlucky enough to be in one. Maybe Orton hurt her, yet had bent her mind so much she thought she was in love with him.

That had to be it. His mind refused to process the thought that maybe it had been another man, someone he didn't know, someone he could never hunt down and kill to avenge his friend.

Startling him, she sat up straight, screaming as she tried to get away from him, fighting him off.

"Shh... Baby, it's me," he said, holding onto her, while trying to wake her up a little.

"Jeff?" she whispered.

"Yeah. You were dreaming," he whispered back, his hand trembling as he gently rubbed her back.

He managed to calm her down, but the shaking started again. He let her turn and hold on to him this time, and he thought she was holding on particularly tight. His frown grew. His worry grew.

And as he finally gave in to sleep, something was on the verge of his mind but he just couldn't grasp it.

* * *

"The fuck do you want?"

Randy's eyes narrowed. How dared he speak to him like that? Who did he think he was?

"Where's Katrina?" he growled.

"It's six in the fuckin' mornin'!" Jeff snarled. "She's asleep, where the fuck do you think she is? Keep your voice down."

Okay, so maybe coming by before heading to the gym had been a bad idea. But he'd had a terrible night imagining her screaming for Hardy and felt the only way he could tell for sure if Jeff was sleeping with her was to see her for himself. She always looked particularly... fucked... after their many sessions. If she looked like that this morning, he'd know she'd told the truth.

"Wake her up. Tell her I'm here."

"Do you hear yourself? What makes you think she'll jump out of bed if I tell her you're here?" Jeff asked angrily.

Jeff had pulled the door to behind him and was keeping his voice low, obviously so Katrina wouldn't know he was there. It angered him. It angered him a lot. Why did Jeff suddenly think he could call the shots?

"Wake. Her. Up," he hissed through grit teeth.

Jeff's eyes narrowed on him. He thought Hardy looked quite angry this morning, angrier than usual. He knew Jeff had never approved of his and Katrina's relationship but he didn't give a shit. It had nothing to do with him.

But the anger this morning was... almost tangible. Palpable. Had he disturbed a bit of early morning loving? Kat's brand of it was quite addictive and _he _never liked being disturbed when he was with her. The thought of her and Jeff sharing what should have been his alone made him angrier.

But maybe that wasn't the case. Maybe what Kat used to say about their friendship was true, and everything she'd said to her the night he'd followed her and Jeff up to their floor had been bullshit. Maybe she wouldn't ever sleep with him because, according to her, Jeff was like a brother.

But he noted that Hardy looked very tired. As if he'd been up all night.

Biting down on his jaw, he shoved Hardy back just enough for him to look into the room.

"What the fuck?" Jeff hissed, shoving him back, really hard.

But he'd already seen what he'd wanted to see. Kat was indeed asleep. On the _one_ bed in the room. With the bedding tangled up around just her middle, which he thought was inadequate cover for what was underneath it: one hell of a delicious pussy. Even her legs, sprawled lazily on the bed as they were, had him imagining she'd recently had them around Hardy's body... or his neck... And Hardy's – _Hardy's_ – t-shirt rode up her body so her shapely upper body was also exposed. And the same t-shirt was pulled tight across her chest that her sizable breasts were shown to their maximum advantage, their erect nipples leaving him in no doubt of what Jeff would obviously have been doing to them – he wouldn't have been human if he hadn't.

And he'd also seen her and Jeff's clothes on the floor, kicked around everywhere as if they hadn't been able to wait to rip them off each other and fuck.

He saw red. He didn't think he'd ever been this angry and it nagged him that someone like Katrina had made him feel like this.

She was nothing! Just a bit of pussy. Nothing special. So he shouldn't have felt anything at all.

"You keep your hands off her," he hissed, struggling with himself not attack Jeff or make noise.

The last thing he wanted was to be overheard.

Jeff crossed his arms across his chest, his entire body telling him he wouldn't back down.

"Or what?" he asked.

"You don't want to go there, Jeff," he warned him.

Couldn't Hardy see he was barely holding it together?

"No, I want to know. Will you knock me around like you did Kitty Kat?"

"Katrina. Her name is Katrina!" he growled.

It always galled him when Jeff called her this. Anyone who allowed people to call them _Kitty Kat_ was not fit to be in his presence!

But what the hell did Jeff mean? He'd never knocked Katrina around, not ever! Kat was adventurous and allowed him to do things Maria wouldn't do, but she enjoyed every second of it!

"Well, she's _my_ Kitty Kat," Jeff snarled.

Was he warning him off? Using that possessive term... did Jeff really think that Kat would not leave him if she got what she wanted? And what she wanted was him. It didn't make him big headed to think that. If he was to turn around and tell Kat he was leaving Maria, she would be back in his bed before Jeff could blink! Why else would she have given him that stupid ultimatum?

"Jeff?"

At the sound of Kat's voice, he saw Jeff's features soften as he closed the door slightly.

To Randy's ears, she sounded extremely satisfied. He even imagined her stretching like the cat Jeff called her and giving a little purr.

"Go back to sleep, Sweetheart," Jeff called out. "It's just Shane."

"Come back to bed, I'm getting cold."

Randy's rage surged inside him, turning white hot and blinding him. 'Come back to bed...'? The fuck? She wasn't supposed to be saying that to anybody else. Okay, so she'd never actually said that to him since he always left to go back to Maria before morning, or on the rare days Maria hadn't been around, he'd left anyway, just so Kat wouldn't get ideas about them. But still...

He barely held on to the thought that Maria was only a few doors down and would likely hear him if he murdered Jeff right now.

"You and I need to talk," Jeff hissed at him.

Jeff had the nerve to be angry? _He_ was the one sleeping with his girlfriend! Or mistress – whatever she was.

"I'll find you later. But if I see you anywhere near her I'll fuck you up, real bad, you hear?" Hardy continued.

The fuck... Who was this man to make such threats? But he was right. Now wasn't the place or the time to do this.

"You and I both know she wants to be with me," he hissed back. "_I'll_ find _you_.

Then he turned and made his way down the hallway towards the elevator.

_Well, that went well. What did you expect, Randy? That she'd look at you and forget all about the silly game she's playing? _

_If she's even playing... Is she playing Randy? Is she _pretending _to fuck Hardy?_

He got angrier with every step he took. He'd been prepared to play this game, to see how far she'd actually take it. Her friendship with Jeff had always been a sore point with him but now that he'd actually seen for himself that she was telling the truth, that she and Jeff really _were_ together...

_She looked mighty cosy didn't she, in that big bed she shared with Hardy? I wonder if Hardy's doing her now._

He wouldn't dare!

_Oh, but he would. He would dare very much... _

The lift took him down to the lobby and he stormed his way to the gym. A good workout would calm him down.

_Isn't he lucky though, to have all that amazing sex on tap? I wonder how it feels, waking up to a bit of Kitty every morning..._

He was going to have to do something about his head. The last thing he wanted was to make himself angrier. Maria still wasn't really talking to him after the night he'd practically forced himself on her.

_And all you did was actually just sleep with her. Imagine what she'd be like if you did her the way you used to do Kitty Kat..._

"It's Katrina!" he growled to himself.

Great. Now he was arguing with himself.

And there was no _'used to'_ about it. If he wanted to sleep with Katrina, he could do it at the drop of a hat! She was just being difficult, but even _she_ knew this was true.

What he needed to do was teach her a lesson. Teach her that she didn't make the rules. Maybe he could let her carry on with this game like he had already decided last night. He would get John and Adam to keep inviting her out and he'd sit there and watch her, maybe needle her a little. If he was feeling generous, he could even pretend that her plan was working, let her think that they could become friends and then move on to becoming lovers who shared mutual trust and respect. Ha! But with the way she responded to him sexually... She'd soon get tired and beg him to take her back, especially if he turned up the sexual heat. A touch here, a kiss there...

_Yeah, but like I said, are you really sure she's playing? Are you sure she's not really moving on?_

Of course she was playing! But just to be sure, he'd take care of Jeff first. If she didn't have her boyfriend to fall back on then it would make everything easier.

_You treated her like shit, Randall. No way is she coming back._

Yes, she would. No matter how hard she fought it she wouldn't be able to deny her own body.

With that thought in his mind, he started warming up for his workout.

* * *

Jeff came back to bed and she lazily stretched and smiled at him. Until she remembered the previous night. The smile left her face and she tensed as she waited for him to say something. Which he would. Of course he would. He wouldn't be Jeff if he let it go.

But surprisingly, he just slipped back into bed and put his head on his pillow, watching her. She watched him back, not sure what she could say. She wasn't comfortable with how much she'd revealed of herself to him; that part of her was dead and the last thing she wanted was to involve Jeff in it. Jeff was part of her new life, the only life she acknowledged.

And he was extremely important to her. It occurred to her that if she didn't show him she trusted him by at least trying to talk about last night, he would never believe how important he was. But talking about feelings was something she found hard to do. It had come as a shock when she had discovered normal, caring people shared their problems, talked about them to work them out. She'd never had that before, and she doubted she could learn to do it now.

"Are you going to say anything?" she asked finally, when the silence was beginning to get jangle her nerves.

"Yes. But you're not going to answer any of my questions, are you?" he answered.

"Probably not," she said truthfully.

"But why? Have I ever given you the impression that you couldn't trust me?"

"I wouldn't be here if I couldn't trust you."

"So why can't you trust me with this?"

"It's not that I don't trust you. It's just that there are some things I'd rather forget, things I want to separate myself from. If I was to talk about them, they'd be a part of me again and I don't want that. Those things don't apply to me anymore. Does that make sense?"

Boy, was it hard to explain things without really explaining them!

"No."

She sighed.

"You're my friend, my only friend. I don't want anything to ruin things."

"Nothing could ever ruin our friendship."

"I don't want to take that chance. In case you haven't noticed, I don't make friends easily."

Jeff chuckled at that because he knew that was the understatement of the century.

"Then why would you say you regret becoming my friend?" he asked, getting serious again.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'd never regret meeting you."

"You mean that?"

"Of course."

"Good. Cause you've become one of the most important people in my life. Sometimes I think you understand me better than anybody else," he confessed.

She understood perfectly, after all, it was the same for her. Even though Jeff didn't know who she used to be, she never had to have her defences up around him, never had to pretend. And even though it had freaked her out a lot when they first started hanging out, she'd got used to the fact that they could read each other so well. She'd even got used to the fact that she'd learnt to trust him; trust being something she'd never had to share with anybody before she'd met Hunter.

"You can tell me anything, you know. It helps."

"I _do_ tell you everything. You know more about who I am now than Hunter and Steph do."

"No, I don't. Not really."

"Trust me, you do."

"Then why won't you tell me why you broke down last night?"

She looked away from him and rolled onto her back with a sigh.

"I didn't break down."

"You did. You scared me, Kitty Kat," he admitted.

She looked at him again, then reached between them for his hand.

"Thanks for caring about me. But I'm fine. Really. I won't do this to you again."

"I'm not saying don't do it again. I'm just saying I'd be more help to you next time if I knew what to say, what to do. I felt so useless last night, Kat. I was up all night worrying."

"Jeff, don't make me feel guilty. I'm not going to talk about it, not today."

He looked like he was going to argue with her when there was a knock at the door.

"If that's your brother, you can tell him on my behalf that I want him to stay the fuck out of it."

With a sigh, Jeff got out of bed to answer the door. When Matt walked in, she rolled her eyes and pulled the covers over her head.

Why couldn't this man leave her alone?

"Mornin' sweetheart. Time for breakfast. Get up and get dressed."

She pulled the covers back down to eye him suspiciously.

What? No questions? No psychoanalysing her?

"Come on, we ain't got all day!"

"Why would I want to eat with you?"

"Ouch! Thought you were trying to be all friendly and shit? That didn't last long."

"Well, it's my day off. I don't need to pretend to like you today," she grumbled.

Jeff sat down on the bed next to her and beamed at her. He looked like she'd just told him he'd won a million dollars, making her wonder if she should stop trying to get Randy back since her dear friend didn't like him so much. But she wondered only briefly. Randy meant a lot to her too, and if Jeff cared about her like he said, he had to accept that.

"You mean that? I get my Kitty Kat back today?"

She nodded. She felt too strung up to pretend anything today. So sweats and a hat it was! And she wasn't even going to brush her hair – it took way too long to make it look like she hadn't really bothered with it when she could have saved herself the trouble by not doing anything to it in the first place.

Being girly was such hard work! Even when she'd... in her old life, she'd never had to spend so much time on her looks.

But Randy was worth it.

"All that smiling and giggling and shit really takes a toll on you. Don't know how you can stand it."

Jeff grinned and pulled her into a hug, and she really hoped he didn't think she was going to make a habit of this. Getting Randy back was a full time occupation. This day off was because she needed to regroup, nothing more.

* * *

**_Joined 2 chapters just for you. I suppose it would have read better it I'd just posted the night and the morning separately. But I hardly get time to sit by my laptop anymore so this will have to do._**

**_So Jeff's thinking... Wonder how long till he connects the dots, coz really, that's when all the drama starts. Can't wait to get to that. _**

**_Thank you for your alerts and favs and reviews. So love that some of ya'll put ALL my stories on your favourites lists. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Can never say that enough. I promise to try harder to update quicker from now on. Need to get this story out of my head._**

**_Thanks again._**

**_Baybie._**


	15. Chapter 15

Kat smiled up at Jeff as he came back from the bathroom, feeling more secure now that he was close to her again. Matt and Shane were being suspiciously pleasant, not bringing up a word about the previous night at all as they ate their breakfast.

And even though they'd been talking among themselves as normal, they hadn't actually really talked to her when Jeff had left her alone, as if they knew she wasn't up to it. She was glad for that, even though it pissed her off. She didn't want anyone else caring about her, considering her feelings. Well, except maybe Randy.

"So what are we doing today?" Matt asked once Jeff was settled.

It was Monday, and those from Smackdown who weren't to appear on Raw had the day off before their taping the next day. Kat hoped she could just pig out in front of the TV with Jeff and unwind a little. Randy was probably leaving that night and she hoped when they came back on the road at the end of the week, she would have got herself together.

"I think Kitty Kat and I have been out enough the past few days. We might just watch a few movies in our room," Jeff answered.

"That sounds so boring," Shane commented.

"Well, good thing we don't particularly care what you think," Kat muttered.

"Ouch. You _do_ have claws," Shane chuckled.

"Or we could actually go _out_ to watch a movie then maybe do a bit of shopping then dinner," Matt suggested.

"I don't shop," Kat snapped.

Couldn't they take a hint? She didn't want any company.

"Well, what do you do then?" Shane asked.

"Nothing."

"Kitty Kat, maybe Matt's right," Jeff said. "A bit of fresh air will do us good."

"I am _not_ spending a perfectly good day dodging your crazy fan girls," she snapped at him.

"You know there are ways around that. Come on, for me," Jeff said, taking her hand.

"And me," Matt said, taking the other.

She frowned at Matt and snatched her hand away.

"Don't do that!"

"Why?"

She blinked at him once. Twice. What the _hell_ did he mean why?

"'Cause I don't like it."

"Why?" Matt asked again.

Her eyes narrowed angrily. Matt shrugged nonchalantly.

"If we're staying in we might as well talk. I mean, we've got _all_ day," he explained.

The dick! That was practically blackmail.

"When can you be ready to leave?" she grit out.

Matt smiled and sat back with his coffee before saying, "Whenever you're ready, Darlin'."

* * *

Two hours later Kat had to admit – only to herself, of course – that coming out had been a very good idea. As she had watched the three of them doing stupid, crazy things, her mind had slowly started to recover from the events of the previous night – so much so that she could look at the situation objectively, analyse why exactly she had felt threatened when all these years she'd had a handle on it. She still couldn't figure it out.

It had been years since she'd broke down like that. Hunter had taught her to defend herself and then when she was feeling a bit better in herself enrolled her in a mixed martial arts class where she'd learnt mental focus and how to channel her emotions, learnt some self discipline that had gone a long way to helping her give up drugs for good. Though all her anger was always there, all her pain, her insecurities, they hadn't actually boiled over in a long time. She had thought she was over it, or at least had it under control. She had thought Grace was dead for good.

"You okay?" Jeff asked as he put his arm around her when they came out of yet another clothes shop.

It was hot so he had a baseball cap on, a thin long-sleeved t-shirt on covering his recognisable tattoos and three quarter denim shorts. He said he looked like any other guy out there. But the guy was just over six feet, that alone was sure to bring attention to him, and then the fans would recognise him and follow him and completely fuck up her day. It hadn't happened yet though so she was keeping her fingers crossed. She needed this time out.

Matt had insisted on buying her things, claiming retail therapy always made girls feel better. She'd given up arguing that she wasn't like that, though she'd been pleasantly surprised that instead of silly little dresses, he'd been buying her sweats and hoodies and he'd even bought her trainers.

"Yeah. Is Matt finished? I think he's enjoying this a little more than he should," she answered, leaning into him.

"He's just trying to make you forget about... things. But he doesn't know what I know, though," he grinned.

"And what's that?"

"That all it would have taken to put a smile on your lips was to know Victoria's secret."

"Shut up," she muttered.

The last thing she wanted was to shop for underwear with Matt and Shane.

"Victoria's Secret? I feel a joke coming," Shane stated as he appeared beside them.

"We're going to Victoria's Secret? Cool," Matt added, then started walking ahead of them.

"Now look what you've done!" Kat hissed at Jeff.

But Jeff laughed and led her to the shop.

"Just think of all that silk and lace, you'll forget all about Matt in a few seconds."

She was _not_ looking at underwear in front of these guys!

But the second they stepped through the doors, she felt like she was coming home. Some people had a thing about shoes. Some about jewellery. She just couldn't resist lingerie. Jeff teased her about it mercilessly but the feel of rich fabrics against her naked skin... she had no words for it.

She breathed in and tried to fight it.

"You know you want to," Jeff whispered with a chuckle in her ear. "Come on, let Kinky Kat come out to play."

"Shut up!"

But he led her to the lingerie anyway, where Matt and Shane were already staring at the women picking out their favourites.

"How about these ones?" Jeff asked with a cheeky grin, holding a pair of silky French knickers to her face.

Oh, they were beautiful!

"Or these?"

Satin... They'd feel so good on her...

"Oh, I love these," he said, holding up a strapless, provocative babydoll with the matching knickers.

She gave in and snatched everything from Jeff before looking at the selection available for herself. In less than a minute she was full of excitement and clutching five pairs of beautiful panties and matching bras to her chest.

"It's like taking a drug addict to a crack house," Jeff snorted in amusement.

She ignored that jibe and walked over to where Matt and Shane were and picked up a couple from there.

"So you actually... um... wear this sort of stuff?" Shane asked as they started to trail behind her.

If she was a squealing kind of girl, this was definitely when she would have been doing it. All she wanted was to buy the gorgeous stuff, go back to the hotel and try them out in front of a mirror – alone. There was something about sexy underwear that made her feel normal, almost desirable even.

She looked up and saw Shane looking at the growing pile that she'd consigned to their hands so she could use both of hers.

"I'm just not a cotton panty kind of girl," she grinned at him, then watched a bit of colour appear in his cheeks.

She grinned at him again, actually enjoying herself. After the previous night, she'd thought it would take a while. It seemed all she'd needed was Jeff and his silly brother and friend.

She turned and stopped in her tracks when she saw Eve and a group of her friends watching them angrily. Stupid cows! When was this going to end? Couldn't the girl just talk to Matt already? Eve obviously had feelings for him and Matt liked her, too, but this childishness was going to make a relationship impossible.

She shook herself, swearing at herself a bit for even worrying about that. She didn't care what Matt did. And Eve could go jump in front of a speeding truck for what that was worth.

But that didn't mean she couldn't have a bit of fun with it, she decided mischievously.

"Matt, baby. How do you feel about these?"

She held up a pair of silky crotch-less thongs that had obviously been made with only one thing in mind.

Matt's eyes widened as they fixed on the thongs. As did Shane's. Jeff was grinning in amusement as he watched their faces.

"Um... those are... um... wow," he spluttered.

She grinned at him and handed them to him without looking back.

"Let's get out of here then so I can try them on for you," she laughed, leading them to the tills.

"You're very bad, Miss Lang," Jeff chuckled as they finally walked out of the shop.

Eve's face had been a picture and she couldn't help smiling at the thought of all the mental torture the girl was going to put herself through. All for nothing as well.

"I have a question though," Shane said. "Why bother with panties like those? Why not just go naked?"

"Good idea, Shane," she nodded, looking at him seriously.

His cheeks coloured again.

"Stop messing with me, Katrina," he grumbled. "I don't need that picture in my head."

"Neither do I," Matt muttered.

She chuckled and walked ahead, completely missing the look Jeff gave his brother and his friend.

* * *

Randy was fuming that he'd spent all morning looking for Jeff only to be told a few minutes earlier that he had gone out with Katrina. And he knew from past experiences that when those two went out, they normally came back out really late and always drunk. On days like this, he never saw Katrina at all.

It had pissed him off then when they'd been together, it pissed him off now.

And Jeff _knew_ they were supposed to meet. What the hell was he thinking?

He was walking past the front desk, intent on having a quick drink before heading to the arena, thinking of an excuse to delay his departure straight after the show. The last thing he wanted was to spend his days off thinking of Jeff and Katrina spending their days off fucking. He _needed_ to see Jeff tonight.

He paused when he heard a name and turned his head to the desk. A beautiful, sad looking redhead stood there with a small suitcase at her feet.

He knew immediately who she was. He smirked to himself, thinking how he was going to mess Jeff up anyway, without having to touch him.

"Please... I'm his girlfriend," the woman said.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can't divulge that information," the lady behind the desk said again. "_If _you're his girlfriend, maybe you can call him and let him know you're here?"

"Then it won't be much of a surprise, will it?" the woman tried again.

"I can't help you. Maybe you'd like to wait on the sofas?"

The woman sighed and grabbed her case before pulling a phone out from her pocket. Randy knew she was about to call Jeff.

"Angela?"

The woman looked up at him, and then smiled in recognition.

"Randy Orton," she said as she came to a stop in front of him. "I'm surprised you remember my name. We were introduced a long time ago."

"I never forget a beautiful face," he smiled, oozing the charm he was well known for with the ladies. "So what brings you here?"

"I was hoping to surprise Jeff," she revealed, "but that woman won't tell me which room he's in."

Was she here to make up with him? Or was it possible they never broke up in the first place? She didn't look like a woman who'd recently lost 'the love of her life' or whatever women called the man they lived with and hoped to marry.

So Jeff had the nerve to look down his nose at him when he was playing Kat the same way! And stupid Kat really thought she was the only girl in Jeff's life.

Oh, there were so many ways he could have fun with this!

_Easy, Tiger. The girl looks like she'll just bolt if you spill now. Take her to your room. Make her comfortable. Then wipe that smile off her face._

"Oh, she's only doing her job. You wouldn't believe how often crazy fans come up to them with similar stories," he smiled at her. "I know which room he's in, though. We're on the same floor. Do you want to wait in my room? Maria's there. She's just been doing a bit of shopping and bumped into Jeff and Matt, so maybe they'll be back soon, too."

"Of course," she smiled. "I heard you two got engaged. Congratulations. I'd love to wait with you guys."

And if he was lucky, Maria would do his dirty work for him.

He smiled at her as he took her case and led her to the elevator.

* * *

By the time they had a late lunch, found a cinema and watched a movie then finally made it back to the hotel, Kat was feeling better than she had in a while. She even invited Matt and Shane back to their room for drinks – something so far removed from her usual character - even though she was dying to try out her new purchases.

"Maybe we should call it a day and see you guys tomorrow," Jeff suggested instead, throwing a look at his brother. "I'm kinda tired."

Matt frowned and folded his arms.

"If you don't want to have a drink with us, you're more than welcome to lie down in our room, little bro," Matt said. "Maybe while you're there you can give Angela a call."

Kat frowned as she saw the looks they were giving each other, and knew that in her eagerness to obliterate what had happened the previous night, she'd completely missed something that had been going on right under her nose.

"Jeff's right. We should call it a night," she said as she took her shopping bags from Matt, taking Jeff's side of whatever was going on like the loyal friend she was.

She felt a little pang at the thought that she wasn't likely to let her defences down enough to have a day out like this again anytime in the near future, but Jeff was more important to her than that.

"Why do I get the feeling I haven't quite managed to seal the deal and tomorrow you'll hate me again?" Matt asked as they all piled into the elevator.

"Maybe because it's true," she shrugged.

"But we were getting on so well today."

"Matt... how can I put this nicely," she started. "The only reason I talked to you in the first place was because you're Jeff's brother."

"And the only reason I talked to _you_ at first was because you're Jeff's friend. That doesn't mean we can't be friends."

"I don't need any more friends."

"So all those nights - even when I carried you to your room and you cried on me all night - meant nothing to you?"

Kat looked away from him. She didn't like remembering all that. She didn't like remembering how grateful she'd been that he'd held her all night, made her feel safe almost like Jeff would have done. He seemed like a really good guy but she couldn't allow herself to get close to too many people. That was the only way she could make sure she never got hurt again. And that was the only way she could make sure Grace stayed dead.

Jeff was perceptive, and that was bad enough. But although he noticed things he didn't actually talk about them until she did. She could tell Matt would be a different story. He'd notice things about her and hound her till she gave in. Then Grace would be alive and well again, the stench of her ruining her new life.

That could never happen.

So she gathered up all the strength she could to tell a lie and hoped that it would hurt enough for him not to see through it.

"It meant nothing."

She saw his eyes darken with emotion as the doors opened on his and Shane's floor.

"Fine. See you around, then," Matt said as he walked out.

Shane, who'd been silent throughout the exchange - paused for a second to look at Matt's retreating back then at her before locking gazes with Jeff, a frown on his face. Again, she was aware that a silent message had been passed on.

As soon as the door closed on Shane, she turned to face Jeff.

"Okay, what the hell was that?"

"What?" Jeff asked, avoiding her eyes.

"Don't fuck around Jeff. Why didn't you want them coming to our room? I thought you'd be happy I was making an effort with them."

"I am. There's nothing I'd like better than you becoming friends with the other people who mean a lot to me," he said, pulling his hat off his head and running his fingers though his hair before putting the hat back on.

"But?"

"I don't want Matt thinking there could be more between you."

She snorted. Like Matt would ever like her like that. He'd seen how damaged she was so he wouldn't want to take things further with someone like her.

"I'm being serious. If anything happens now, for you it'll be just on the rebound 'cause of Randy, and for him... well, he could get hurt."

She snorted again, resisting the urge to laugh out loud because Jeff really believed what he was saying.

"For all your talk about me making friends, you don't want to share me with anybody else. I think you're jealous!" she teased.

"No! I'm not jealous, how could I be? I encouraged this in the first place. That's a ridiculous thing to say."

The smile left her face at his vehement denial. It sounded – almost – like he was trying to convince himself.

"I was just teasing you, Jeff."

He held her gaze for a while and she watched as a frown formed on his brow. He looked confused. And this in turn made _her_ confused. What the hell was going on here?

"Can we just forget about this? I just want to sit down and chill, I really am tired," Jeff sighed as he looked away.

"Sure," she agreed readily as the doors finally opened on their floor.

She looked up at him, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach as they walked down the hall and caught him watching her, a frown still on his face. But that disappeared quickly as a grin appeared and he put his arm around her like he normally did.

"I know you're dying to try on all that sexy lingerie," he teased as he pulled the keycard out of his pocket.

She immediately felt better, even though she didn't want to analyse why.

"And I know you're just dying to sketch me in it," she teased back.

"Nah. You know I prefer you naked."

They heard a gasp behind them and Jeff immediately released her. With a sense of foreboding, she turned to see who it was.

The first person she saw was a redhead; teary eyed, red nosed but still managing to look beautiful in an innocent way she knew she would never achieve. She looked utterly devastated.

Then she saw the Viper standing more than a head taller than the redhead, right behind her with his cold eyes on hers. _He_ just looked devastating.

But then a smirk appeared on his face, slowly, cruelly. She knew straight away that she was well fucked.

"Angela!" Jeff said on a breath.


	16. Chapter 16

"So it's true," Angela whispered, a statement, not a question.

Jeff took a step forward, raking his brain for an explanation to why he had previously seen Kat naked; Kat, whom he'd never mentioned and yet was his best friend in the whole world.

"It's not what it looks like," he started, knowing how clichéd and absolutely lame that sounded.

"Are you sharing a room with this woman?" Angie asked, wiping her face with a tissue that was bunched up in her fist.

Jeff felt it in his gut, the awful feeling that no matter what he said, he could never make this right.

"Yes," he admitted, knowing if he was to make her understand about Kat, it wouldn't help matters if he lied now. "But let me explain_"

"Forget it," Angela said, already turning away from him.

The panic he felt was immense. Was she walking out on him? Was she leaving him? Was this it? He couldn't let her do that, not without hearing the whole story.

"Kat is my best friend," he explained urgently. "I've never_"

He watched Angie choke back some tears as she shook her head.

"I know all your friends, Jeff. I think I've heard everything I need to hear," she said before picking her suitcase up and starting to walk away.

"Let me help you," Randy offered, but Angie shook her head. It was only when Randy turned back and he saw the smirk on his face that he realised who was to blame for the situation he was in.

"What did you do?" he snapped angrily, urgently.

"I didn't do anything," Randy shrugged. " I was assured you two had broken up, so naturally- being the good Samaritan that I am - when she came to surprise you, I had to mention you were already in another relationship. Imagine my surprise when she told me the truth."

He felt like he'd been punched.

"Why would you make something like this up?" he said, his voice shaky with emotion. "You crossed a line. Not once, in all these months, have I done that to you – even though you deserve it. Why would you do this?"

Randy looked from him to Kat who was standing quietly behind him, then back again. He saw the famous smirk widen and almost punched the bastard. What could possibly be amusing him at a time like this?

"It seems we were both deceived," Randy said.

Jeff turned with a questioning frown to look at Kat, and saw the guilt written clearly on her face.

"No... You didn't..."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I'll never forgive you for this," he hissed, then rushed to catch Angie before she made it to the elevator.

It wouldn't end like this. Angie loved him. He'd make her listen, make her understand. And he'd promise to stay the hell away from Katrina. He didn't need a friend who could deliberately jeopardize his happiness.

* * *

"Well. It seems your little game has just blown up in your face," Randy said as they watched Jeff and Angie disappear.

Kat looked at him and for the first time since she'd fallen in love with him, realised how ruthless he could be. He'd just ruined her friendship with the one person she could be herself around who wasn't family, the one person she'd chosen herself, unlike Shawn who'd been thrust at her.

"You did it on purpose," she stated. "You knew..."

He must have. As soon as he'd seen Angie, he must have known why she was here and realised the truth.

His only answer was his little smirk.

"I knew you were a bastard, I just didn't realise..."

She sighed and turned away from him. She would wait for Jeff to find out what was happening. Maybe Angie would believe him. Maybe he'd bring her back to the room for an explanation. She would gladly tell the truth but something told her she was never going to get his friendship back. That was something she would never forgive Randy for, even though she realised she'd brought it on herself. If only she'd listened to Jeff...

"I win. So are we done playing this game now?"

She turned to look at him sharply.

"You win?" she asked unsteadily. "You did this for _fun_? It was all just a big game to you? What exactly have you won? The biggest dick? The nastiest bastard?"

She could see she'd surprised him. She'd never been angry with him before, not even the recent past when he'd told her in the way only such a snake could that she wasn't worthy of him.

"You started this Katrina."

"Well, I'm ending it," she snapped.

For all the love she felt for the man, in that moment, all she wanted to do was kill him. Jeff meant too much to her. She'd always thought, even if she managed to get Randy back, that Jeff would always be there for her, the one person she could always rely on. Love was too fickle, romantic relationships were too fickle but her relationship with Jeff was supposed to last a lifetime. Now, possibly – if Angie dumped him, he would hate her for good.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Randy asked with a frown.

"You just cost me my best friend, Randy_"

"No, _you_ did," he cut in. "You lied to me, told me he'd already left Angela. So all of this is on you."

All the fight left her. It was true. All this was her fault.

She turned from him, feeling like crap, knowing she had no way to explain what she had done other than that she was selfish. She'd wanted Randy, at whatever cost. She just hadn't thought the cost would be so monumental.

Taking the final steps to her door, she realised it was still locked. They had been interrupted before Jeff could open it.

"You could always come to my room. Maria's already left for the arena and she's flying home straight after the show."

Great! She was about to have the worst confrontation ever, possibly losing her friend, and the man she loved had just reminded her she was losing it all for nothing! Randy still had Maria, and if she read that look in his eyes correctly, he was expecting her to carry on sleeping with him as if the past couple of weeks hadn't happened.

"Right now I'd rather chew my foot off," she muttered as she pushed past him to walk to the elevator.

"You're saying you don't want to? You're really going to keep playing this game, after everything that's happened?"

Kat was shocked that he was following her, almost like she mattered to him. But of course that was only wishful thinking. What Randy wanted was sex. What he cared for was sex. Just like every other man she'd ever slept with. But he could get that anywhere. He _did_ get that elsewhere. He didn't need her, not like she needed him.

She should have known better than to fall in love with him.

And at that moment she was hard-pressed to remember why she wanted him back in the first place.

"Katrina," he said when she ignored him and pressed the elevator button. "You still want me, Katrina. You can't deny that."

No she couldn't. But Jeff was more important. Briefly, she wondered why her friend would be more important than the man she loved, but pushed that thought aside. What she and Jeff had was different from what she shared with Randy. No matter how much she tried, she just couldn't picture Randy cuddling her while they watched a movie. That was more Jeff's thing. Randy satisfied her other needs, the physical ones. And if she had her way, he'd satisfy the emotional ones, too.

But not right now, not like this. She had to wait for Jeff. She had to fix things.

"Katrina!"

But she continued to ignore him, and walked into the elevator as soon as the doors opened.

"I'll be back here after the show. We're going to settle this one way or another."

It was a demand. A threat.

She looked up into his eyes and noticed he was bristling. Obviously his arrogant ass didn't do so well with being ignored. How she wished she could tell him to go to hell, to leave her alone! But she didn't want to say anything that sounded too final, just in case he took her at her word. And she knew how pathetic that sounded.

* * *

Randy stood by the elevator for a while after the doors had closed on her face. He couldn't help feeling like the ground had shifted beneath his feet. He had expected her to be angry but not like this. It had felt as if she was washing her hands of the situation, of him, letting him go.

He didn't want to be let go!

When he was done with her, _he_ would do the letting go!

He wanted things to be back the way they were, with her underneath him whenever and wherever he wanted. Why couldn't she see that it was better that way?

_Better for whom, Randall?_

For both of them! She had gone to so much trouble to try to get him back, that meant she had strong feelings for him. She should be happy that he was willing to share a piece of himself. But whatever feelings she had, he couldn't marry her! He could sleep with her but he _couldn't_ marry her! She wasn't the sort of girl his parents expected him to bring home. She didn't have the right upbringing, didn't come from the right family. They would never accept her. _He_ would never accept her. Her life would be miserable. Boring. Maria, though, had already taken to that role like a duck to water.

_Are you admitting that the 'chosen one' is less than perfect? Boring?_

He'd always thought that! But he wasn't going to choose a wife judging by the way she sucked his dick! And certainly not because her vagina was like crack! He walked back to his room; he had a show to go to. And once that was over and done with, he was sleeping with Kat and putting an end to this fucked up silliness once and for all.

* * *

"Angie, please... Let's go somewhere and talk. I swear to you, Kat was only my friend."

"Yet you've seen her naked and share a bed?" Angie asked.

She was looking anywhere but at him as they waited in the lobby for a taxi she had called to arrive. And Jeff knew, once he let her go, when he got home tomorrow she wouldn't be there. Gone. As if what they had wasn't worth fighting for.

"Not the way you think," he argued. "Look, this isn't the place. Everyone's looking at us. Let's go sit in the bar and I'll explain everything."

"Jeff, what's the point? Even if what Maria and Randy told me is not true, she's still in your life somehow, and you kept her a secret. Why would you do that if you have nothing to hide?"

"Because you were already insecure as it was! You would have blown our friendship out of proportion, seen things that weren't there."

But Angie shook her head.

"You haven't trusted me in a while, Angie_"

"Now I know it was for a good reason," she cut in.

"I've done nothing wrong!"

For the first time, she turned her head and met his eyes.

"I don't believe you," she whispered.

He felt the words deep, right to his bones. She didn't believe him. She didn't intend to give him a chance to explain. She wanted the relationship to be over.

_It was what she'd wanted for a long time_. Now she had her excuse, her reason.

"Angie, I love you. I'd never cheat on you. I'm sorry I never mentioned Katrina, but I didn't want to lose you. Please... please don't leave me. Give me a chance to show you the truth."

She looked away again and breathed a sigh of relief as a taxi pulled up outside the hotel.

"I'll be gone when you come back home. It'll be easier that way."

His heart cracked. His shoulders drooped. And he could feel moisture in his eyes at her words.

"You'd take the word of a stranger over mine, the man you've shared your life with for five years?" he whispered.

"Randy has no reason to lie to me," she answered as she picked up her bag. "Goodbye Jeff. I hope you find what you're looking for."

With that she walked out. Out of the hotel, out of his life.

His heart finally smashed into tiny pieces.

It hurt so bad that by the time he had thought to list the numerous reasons Randy had to lie to her, she was gone.

She hadn't trusted him enough to stay. She hadn't loved him enough to fight.

But he'd been working on that. He'd been working on showing her how committed to her he was. All he'd needed was a bit of time.

Randy had robbed him of that. No, _Kat_ had robbed him of that.

And at that thought, the unbearable pain was replaced by a burning fury. A fury more bearable, more manageable than the hurt. He was angry with Angie for not trusting him. With Randy for spreading vicious lies. With Kat, for telling those lies, for betraying their friendship.

As he stormed back to the elevator and punched the call button, his fury grew. Kat had known his situation with Angie. She'd known he hadn't wanted to get involved with her and Randy.

This was her fault. His life had fallen apart because she only cared about herself.

The elevator doors opened, and it was his luck that Kat stood there. As if her head had been delivered to him on a silver platter. She still looked as guilty as hell. His cold gaze pinned her to the wall as he stepped in and pressed the button to take them back to the top floor.

"Well?" he asked coldly as soon as the doors closed.

"I'm sorry."

"Is that all you have to say for yourself?"

"I didn't think... I've got no excuse for what I did," Kat whispered, still standing against the elevator wall.

"You were supposed to be my friend Katrina. You knew what this would do to my relationship if it ever got out, you did it anyway," he ground out.

"I never thought she'd come here_"

"So it was okay to use me? To have all these people believe that there was more than friendship between us?"

"Was?" she asked weakly.

He grunted in disgust.

"You think we could be friends after this? I love Angie so much, Kat, and thanks to you, I'll probably never get her back."

"I'll talk to her_"

"I don't want you anywhere near her!" he shouted. "I don't want you anywhere near _me_! I'm going to get my shit from your room and then you can just leave me the fuck alone."

The doors opened and he stormed out, aware that she was following behind him. He was too angry with her to say everything he wanted to say, everything he needed to say so she could just stay out of his life. He didn't need anyone who could do that to him.

"Jeff... Let me make this right_"

He snorted again as he took the key card out. Her shopping bags were dropped on the floor in front of the door, forgotten.

"If you let me talk to her, she'll understand. If you love each other it'll work_"

"_If_? _If _we love each other? Of course we love each other!" Jeff growled, turning back to face her angrily. "Unlike the shit you and Randy have, my feelings for Angie are real. Speaking of which, how did that work out for you anyway? Huh? Did Randy come crawling back the second you lied to him about us? Did he beg you to break up with me because he couldn't stand the thought of us together? Did he tell you he loved you?"

"No," she answered weakly.

He snorted again.

"Yeah. I'd say that's a man in love," he said nastily. "You've ruined my life for that messed up shit. What does the man have to do to show you he's not interested in a relationship? Spit on you? Write in big red letters on his forehead 'Kat, fuck off'?"

He saw her face fall as his words cut her, but he didn't care. All he wanted to do was hurt her the way he was hurting.

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I'll fix it."

"No, you won't. You'll stay the hell away from me. Don't call me, don't text me, don't email. And if you see me coming, you better go another way. You're selfish. Cruel. And I'll never forgive you for this."

"Jeff_"

"I said leave me alone!" he snapped, taking a step towards her.

She flinched and brought her hands up protectively to her face, and he back off quickly.

"You thought I was going to _hit_ you?" he asked incredulously.

"No," Kat answered, but she avoided his eyes.

But he didn't need to look into her eyes to know the truth. Her instinctive action had told the whole story loud and clear.

Part of him wanted to demand to know who'd abused her like that so he could wring their necks. But the other part, the angry part, wanted nothing to do with it. She wasn't his friend anymore, therefore it wasn't his concern.

"Go."

For the second time in as many days, he saw tears flow down her cheeks. She swallowed and wiped them off but they kept coming. Then she nodded her head and turned from him to walk back down the hallway.

"I'll leave your key at the front desk."

He was disappointed that unleashing some of his anger on her hadn't made him feel any better. And as he watched her walk away, shoulders slumped and face down, he was disappointed that he felt sorry for hurting her.

Hunter came round the corner at the top of the hallway and smiled at Kat, only to frown when he noticed her tears. Jeff stilled himself for a reaction, almost willing Hunter to attack him just so he could attack him back, unleash his anger physically.

"Katrina?" Hunter queried, rushing towards her. "What's happened?"

"Nothing," he heard Kat mumble as she quickly wiped her face.

Nothing? _Nothing_? She'd just ruined his life and she was calling it nothing? He had half a mind to tell Hunter exactly what Kat had been doing the past few months with Randy.

"Was it Jeff?" Hunter asked.

Oh, yes. Blame the victim.

Jeff kicked her shopping bags out of the way and put the key card in the door.

"No. Leave it Hunter," Kat said.

"Kat_"

"I said fucking leave it!" Kat shouted, roughly pushing Hunter's hands away and walking past him.

"Katrina!" Hunter called out. "Kat!"

But she kept on walking. Like she was the wronged one.

"Grace!" Hunter called, walking after her and grabbing her arms to stop her.

Jeff's hand stilled in the process of pushing the door open.

_Grace_?

He watched Kat struggle to free herself and felt his heart beat slow down till he was sure it was no longer beating.

Kat, who was part Chinese, part black and part white.

Kat, who had a past she didn't talk about and yet he knew had been bad.

Kat, who kept everyone at a distance by her cold demeanour because she found it hard to trust anyone's intentions.

Kat, with a man friend who was more like family, the only family she acknowledged.

Kat, with the faint scars up her arms, as well as on the wrists that Hunter was trying to restrain.

The truth hit him like a bullet, making him lose his grip on the door and put his hand on the wall for support.

_Grace_.

Weakly, he watched the tears on her face as she finally pushed Hunter away and disappeared around the corner. He watched the spot where she'd disappeared as if that would somehow conjure her back. Even Hunter's thunderous face as he stormed towards him didn't penetrate the void he had fallen in, where he only saw image upon image of the monstrosities he had read about in the book – rape... physical violence... emotional abuse... drugs... suicide... - monstrosities whose victim now had a face.

"What the hell have you done to her?"

He was aware of being roughly pushed to the wall with strong hands bunching his collar. But his eyes were still fixed down the hallway.

"Answer me, dammit! What's wrong with her?"

How he wished he was wrong. His eyes found Hunter's who was still shouting at him, still knocking him against the wall.

"Tell me you didn't call her Grace," he ordered hoarsely.

"What?" Hunter frowned.

"_She can't be Grace!" _

But the look on the older man's face as he let him go, let him slip back to his feet, said that she was.

How he wished he'd remained ignorant.

His eyes went back to the spot she had disappeared.

"Grace..." he whispered.

* * *

**And so it begins. **

**Thank you for reading, reviewing, putting this on your alerts and favs, putting **_**me**_** on your favs. Much appreciated.**

**Am starting the next chapter now, while I've got a bit of time. You won't want to miss it.**

**Much love.**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN/ Sorry it took so long. Should never have waited, couldn't get back into the flow. Thank you all for your kind words for the last chapter. I really wanted that chapter to be intense, I'm really glad I got it across. It's another late night for me, so I give you another unedited offering. Sorry. **

**Please enjoy, and don't forget the feedback. Thanks. **

**

* * *

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"Call me when you find her," Hunter said as he got out of the elevator a floor before his own.

Jeff nodded, still feeling numb, raw from what he had learned. All he'd wanted to do was find Kat and hold her, promise he would never let anyone hurt her like that again, but he couldn't. Hunter had warned him that if she discovered that he knew about her past she would push him out of her life, possibly even feel like she couldn't work with him anymore.

He didn't want that. He didn't want her far from him; so far he that couldn't protect her.

As the elevator finally opened on his floor, he had to drag his feet to take him to Kat's room. They had looked for her everywhere in the hotel until Morrison had informed them that he'd seen her catching a taxi. She hadn't been answering any of their desperate calls. Hunter was frantic with worry. He'd had to tell the man that they had argued after his breakup with Angie, that he had taken his anger out on her and upset her. He hadn't mentioned a word about why, about Randy or her lies. None of that mattered to him anymore.

How could he be angry with her now? How could he, when he finally understood her, when he could understand how much courage it had taken her to learn to trust him? And how could he stop her loving Randy, when it was a sheer miracle that she could even do that?

Pain gripped him again as he let himself into her empty room.

How did someone deal with something like this? He had felt anger on Grace's behalf before he'd known she was Kat. And now that he knew her life was so intricately woven with his, he felt her pain a million times worse. How would he stop himself from telling her how much respect he had for her for being so brave, so strong? Would he be able to pretend he didn't know?

He dropped himself on the double bed and pulled 'Amazing Grace' from the drawer. That title held so much more meaning now. She _was_ amazing. Courageous. With so much weight on her tiny shoulders, she still got up everyday, still laughed with him, still carried on. In her shoes, he would never have managed that.

He settled himself on the bed, his hand shaking as he found his bookmark.

Amazing Grace was no longer just a story he wanted to finish. He _needed_ to finish it.

oOo

_It turned out I had been right to worry. _

_After I went home that morning, after the worst night ever with Joe, Mother took one look at my face and called Joe. She never made any contact with the clients unless it was really important, since most of them had a lot to lose if the truth about their sordid lives ever came out._

_For a moment, a little hope flared in me as I saw the anger on my mother's face. But silly me, I should have never let it even flicker. After all these years of her abuse I was foolish to even wish my mother loved me._

_She was angry because Joe had hurt my face and not paid extra for it. It was always about the money. I heard her rave and rant on the phone about how she was going to have to let me take a few days off so the other clients weren't put off, I heard her wrangle at least four night's worth of pay out of him and I saw the evil smile on her face as she grabbed her purse and prepared to go and collect it._

"_Don't worry, Grace. He's paying for this," she said to me with a smile and a pat on the back._

_As if we had conspired this together. As if I was whoring for the shits and giggles._

_At least I got a few days off out of it._

_But even that hope was thrown out of the window as Mother walked to the door._

"_You look like shit. Go get yourself cleaned up, there's someone coming in a couple of hours."_

"_Mum, I can't even walk properly_"_

"_Noone expects you to walk anywhere. All you have to do is lie on you back, how freakin' hard is that?" Mother snapped as she slammed the door behind her._

_I limped to the bathroom, dead inside, not even thinking of what Joe had done to me, what he had used to fuck me, what he had put in me. A long, hot shower washed all Joe's spunk off me and soothed my muscles. I was glad mother was out because if she's been in, I'd only have been allowed five minutes instead of the half hour that I took. And I certainly wouldn't have been able to get my stash out from my hiding place so I could snort, swallow and inject myself with whatever I still had left, whatever would make me forget, whatever would make me numb again._

_I don't know how I never overdosed. I'd lost track of the number of times I'd mixed and matched my drugs and done them all day and night to insure I was always numb when I had to let someone violate me. I'd even taken to doing a few tricks 'on the side' to get my drug money. But I never died. I'd go to sleep, pray that to be the last time my eyes closed, but I always woke up again. Always. After slashing my wrists so often, I guess I was being denied the satisfaction of an easy, hazy death, too. _

_I'd started thinking of stabbing myself, but with my luck I thought I'd miss all the vital organs and scar myself for nothing._

_My only option was a gun._

_On my non hazy days, I'd started putting a plan together. I needed money to get one without a license. Approximately fifty 'jobs' in the alley. When mother pimps me out, I earn her a lot more. But when I have to 'work' for myself, I'm usually desperate and take whatever I can get. But whatever money I did get that was supposed to go towards buying a gun went to drugs instead._

_It was a stupid, vicious cycle._

_Over the coming weeks, I wished I had saved harder for the gun._

_Mother Dearest, having realised she could get more if she let her clients rough me up, started offering that as a service. I didn't think people would take it up. But they did. They all did. I don't remember how often I went back home all black and blue. I remember thinking, 'What the fuck are these people on? How can they want to pay to sleep with someone who looks like shit?' My face was all cut up and swollen, my ribs were killing me – I thought maybe a couple were broken, but Mother Dearest didn't want to waste any money on medical care – at least my medical care. And of course I was going through the motions like a zombie due to my drugged state. Why would anyone still want to pay for that shit? _

_Somewhere down the line, when I was looking for money where I normally hid it, I noticed my monthly supply of tampax hadn't been opened. I normally kept track of my days because on those days my 'work' was minimal. Mostly oral – which was very disgusting considering some of the men's hygiene- but sometimes I'd get the occasional client who 'didn't mind'- and this was still very disgusting. But I had more time to myself, time where I got to do nothing but get high, enter into a state of mind where I temporarily left my scarred body, my thoughts. _

_So I noticed I hadn't opened my supply, and realised I hadn't had time to myself for a long time. I would have done the math, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember when my last period was. I did remember though, that for my life to turn into a greater hell than it already had been, Joe had spent the night beating me unconscious then coming inside me over and over again._

_It could have been only a month back. But then again, all my days and nights were just a big blur of strange men's penises and fists. So it could have been a couple of months. Maybe even three._

_I knew I was pregnant. I was that unlucky that any other outcome never occurred to me. And because the Fates or God hated me, I probably wouldn't miscarry even though I should have. And with the drugs inside me, and all the men paying to beat me for the fuck of it, I knew the kid was going to have a fucking lot of defects. _

_And mother was probably going to make men pay to sleep with my little freak baby._

_I felt something, I don't know what it was, but I hadn't felt in so long that it shocked me. But I did know that I had to find out for sure if I was pregnant._

_I found ten dollars and at the first chance I got, I went to the chemist for the cheapest pregnancy test I could find and did the test._

_The result didn't surprise me. What surprised me was the love I felt for the little thing growing in me, though it had a monster for a dad and a junkie whore for a mother. I wanted it. I wanted to protect it. I wanted to keep it away from the life my own mother had forced me into. In those few hours while I came to terms with being pregnant, it became the most important thing in my life._

_How had my mother carried me for nine months and not loved me? How could she look at me and feel justified for selling me to strange men for them to violate and scar as they wished? I would never do that to my own flesh and blood, my own child. I would never do that to anyone._

_I knew what I had to do. I had to leave this life behind. _

_My mistake was telling mother that I was quitting. My mistake was thinking Mother would give a shit for the life inside me._

_What she saw was the end of her lucrative business; that of pimping her only child out. She saw the end of her easy life._

"_Go to sleep, Sweetheart. We'll talk about this another time," she told me._

_That alone should have raised my suspicion. Mother never called me sweetheart. But I was so excited at the thought that I would have someone to love, someone who needed me, someone I could teach to stay away from the evils of the world. It was scary but I met that fear head on. It was a good kind of fear, one I hadn't known since the man I had thought was my dad had taken the training wheels off my bike._

_I went to my room to plan my future. I could see a light there again. I didn't know how I was going to raise a child living like this, but I knew I would do it. I even thought of going back to my friend to beg his forgiveness and ask for his help. He would know how to be a proper family._

_An hour or so later Mother came into my room with a cup of hot milk for me._

"_To help you sleep," she said._

_I drank it all because I didn't realise she meant it literally. The second I put the cup down, I felt incredibly drowsy and I lay down. I just thought it was because I was very tired._

_When I woke up, my head felt like cotton wool and my eyelids wouldn't stay open. I also couldn't move my hands and feet. I realised this was because they'd been tied to the posts of my bed. _

_I saw a man hovering at the foot of the bed and my first thought was that Mother had found another client with a weird fetish. It was only when he came forward and I saw his mask and filthy, off-white coat that I realised what was happening._

_I was too weak to stop it from happening because Mother Dearest had drugged my milk. And this man with his dirty hands and clothes, and the long, rusty looking hook in his hand, was here to abort my baby._

"_It will only take a minute. You won't feel a thing," he said._

_I was to learn later that they called him The Butcher, because the girls he fixed either died or couldn't ever have kids again. His day job was running a corner shop for his invalid father. He'd never been to medical school a day in his life. But he'd read a couple of medical books and fancied himself an expert._

_I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. I just lay there as this dirty man lifted the sheet from my naked body and knelt between my legs with his dirty hook._

oOo

Jeff snapped the book shut and stuffed it back into the drawer, unable to read anymore. His heart was pounding. His hands were shaking.

It was too much. There was too much pain.

Thinking again, he quickly grabbed the book and stuffed it into his bag, right at the bottom, and hid the bag in the wardrobe before pouring himself a liberal shot of JD to calm his nerves.

He couldn't read anymore, not tonight. Would he be able to pick that book up again when he could now so easily picture Kitty Kat's tiny body tied to that bed? When he could picture all those faceless men punching her? Kicking her?

He didn't know. But he knew he couldn't do it tonight.

It took a few more shots of whiskey to get him calm again. He checked his watch and frowned. It was an hour since he'd returned to their room and Kat still hadn't returned. He needed to see her, needed to be near her just so he could reassure himself that she was okay; those men hadn't killed her, the drugs hadn't killed her and she hadn't finally bought that gun and ended it all. Which was stupid he knew, because of course she was still alive. But he was finding it hard to imagine the horrors she had been through.

He was beyond worried. Where could she have gone? Maybe she'd returned and gone to hide in Matt's room. It wasn't likely, after the way they'd parted but he tried his brother's phone anyway. Matt's tone was cold when he answered, reminding Jeff he was yet another person he had to make up with.

He still couldn't understand why he'd had a problem with him hanging out with Keri tonight, and he was yet to figure out why he'd been so defensive when Keri had teased him about being jealous. He wasn't going to dwell on that now.

"Of course she's not here," Matt snorted. "You wanted her all to yourself, remember?"

"It wasn't like that!" he protested weakly. "Look, I just need to find her, okay? If she comes there, please call me."

"You two argued?"

"Something like that," he sighed sadly. "I just need to see her."

There was silence for a moment on the other end of the phone.

"I think you seriously need to think about what you're doing here, baby brother," Matt said finally.

"What I _need_ to do is tell my best friend how much I appreciate her sharing her life with me," he said desperately.

"What's going on here, Jeff?"

Now wasn't the time to launch into an explanation. He wasn't sure if he _could_ explain it. If he told Matt the whole story – at least the parts he _could_ tell - Matt would find it odd that he was now desperately trying to get Kat back, after she thoroughly ruined his life. He'd want an explanation, and Matt was never satisfied with anything other than the truth.

"Nothing. I've gotta go," he said.

"Wait," Matt said with a drawn out sigh. "She downstairs, drinking like there ain't tomorrow. She came into the bar about a half an hour ago, looking very upset."

"Why did you leave her, then?" he demanded, already grabbing his wallet and keys.

"I don't think she's in a kissing-me kind of mood tonight," Matt snorted.

He was reminded of the first night Kat had met his brother, when she'd kissed him. Maybe she had encouraged some sort of feelings in Matt. If he had known about her past before that night, he would never have brought her to the attention of so many men. He'd have kept her locked up in their room, safe, content as she had been not to make any new friends.

"Besides, I wasn't going to talk to her after what she said to me earlier. I'm too old for that kind of drama," Matt continued.

"She didn't mean it."

"You know as well as I do that she did. Anyway, if you're going to get her go now, before Orton disappears with her. He went to the bar after his show, with a bunch of his RAW buddies. He couldn't hide how much he wanted to nail her even if he tried."

"And you still left her?" he said, silently cursing his brother as he ran to the elevator.

But then he remembered he was going to have to let Randy have his way with her, too, because that was what Kat wanted. He could never say no to her again.

"Like I said, too old for her drama. I'm not going to force my company on someone who obviously loathes it. I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow."

It was obvious Kat had hurt him, but Jeff couldn't be sure if it was because his brother wanted a relationship with her or he just genuinely wanted to be her friend.

He had no time to think about it as the elevator opened in the lobby.

His heart started pounding again as he got closer to the bar, closer to the noise that told him the place was very busy. Then when he stood at the entrance and saw her hunched over a drink, he had to grab onto the door frame as he weakened for the second time that night. Everyone else faded into the background.

He didn't know what he had expected. She still looked the same. She _was_ the same. But now that he knew who she was he could almost see the suffering she'd gone through hanging around her shoulders like a thick blanket. So obvious yet he had been blind to it.

Poor Kitty Kat. How could she sit there as if everything was okay? He should have put all the pieces together before tonight. He should have realised... When she'd broken down last night, he should have known. And the way she'd woke in a panic in the night and tried to fight him off... That was a typical sign of abuse. How could he have been so dense and not realised?

As if she knew he was staring a hole in the side of her head, she turned and caught his eyes. He had no choice but to force his feet forward, his eyes never leaving her face as she turned around fully on the bar stool. She looked terrible, like the argument they'd just had was the worst thing to happen to her, yet he now knew it wasn't.

Finally he stood in front of her.

She was close to tears as she started at him wordlessly.

Beautiful Kitty Kat. Brave Kitty Kat. Looking vulnerable as she was, she seemed even tinier than she normally did. How could anyone look at her and feel like hurting her?

And how was he supposed to say anything that wouldn't alert her to the fact that he knew?

He opened his mouth but nothing came out. So he pulled her to him instead, holding her in an embrace so fierce he thought it was a wonder he didn't break her in two. Her arms went around him tightly and he kissed the top of her head.

No words were spoken for a long time. He just stood there, between her legs as she sat on the stool, holding her for dear life as he fought back his tears. She'd only been a child when it started; a child who didn't even know what sex was, thrown into a world of sex and drugs. She should never have gone through all of that. But she had. She had been raped, broken, beaten, and violated. And as her friend, it was now his job to make sure the rest of her life was truly magical, everything she could ever have possibly dreamed of.

And that included getting her that piece-of-fucking-scum Orton.

He lifted his head from hers and moved the top part of his body so he could look into her eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his hands still shaking as he tangled one of them in her short hair.

"No, I deserved it," Kat answered, her voice wobbly, her tears closer.

"No, you didn't," he said fiercely, though he knew they were talking about two different things.

"I'm sorry I ruined your life," she whispered, her words slurred a little as one tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.

He'd met happy-drunk-Kitty Kat – whom he absolutely adored. He'd met meltdown-Kitty Kat – who'd scared the life out of him. Now he was looking at miserable-depressed-drunk-Kitty Kat. He didn't like her at all.

His chest tightened as it squeezed his heart. He'd done this. He'd made her unhappy.

Her bottom lip trembled and he felt like the biggest shit for making her feel so bad. She'd had enough of that to last a million lifetimes.

Gently, he wiped the tear away.

"You didn't. There were trust issues there before Angie even saw you. If our relationship was as perfect as I said it was then she would have believed me when I told her the truth."

But Kat shook her head. He cut her off before she could say anything else. He was still struggling with dealing with the revelation of Grace that Angie had been pushed to the back of his mind. Something as trivial as that didn't matter to him in that moment, though he knew he would have to deal with it once the shock wore off.

What mattered right now was getting his friend back. Giving her, her every heart's desire. Finding every single man who'd abused her and killing them. And finding her mother. Oh, the things he'd do to her mother...

All without her knowing he knew.

"I'm never going to talk to you like that again. I'm never going to hurt you again," he declared in a fervent whisper. "Please say you'll let me back into your life."

"I'd like nothing better than to be your friend again. But I've hurt _you_, Jeff, not the other way round. You shouldn't be apologising, _I _should," Kat insisted as she brought one hand to his cheek. "I'm so, so sorry Nero. I swear I'll never do something so stupid ever again."

He kissed her palm and smiled at her, realising he had to let her apologise, even make it up to him, if he didn't want her to ask any awkward questions. Questions like why he would so easily forgive her when Angie meant the world to him.

"Okay. Let's put this day behind us and start again," he suggested.

"You mean it?" Kat asked, her voice trembling and still slurred.

"You're important to me, Kitty Kat. Of course I mean it," he said as he brought his other hand to her hair so he was holding her face up to him.

And then she smiled; a smile all the more special to him now that he knew it was coming from a place deep down inside her where smiles didn't belong. A place where Grace belonged. Her little speech about not telling him some things because she wanted to separate herself from them suddenly made sense.

"I'm going to help you," he declared.

Anything to keep that smile on her face.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you wouldn't have done that to me if..." – he almost said 'that fucking dick' but edited himself quickly, "... if Orton didn't mean so much to you. You really love him, don't you?"

She nodded her head and tried to look away from him but he held her head in place and forced her eyes back to his.

"I'm going to help you," he repeated.

"How?" she whispered.

"By doing what you wanted in the first place," he answered with a little smile just as he brought his lips down to meet hers.

* * *

Randy had known he was fucked the second Jeff appeared at the bar entrance, looking wrecked and staring at Katrina like a man in fucking love.

He should have just taken her out of there the second he had noticed her drinking her weight in whiskey all by herself at the bar, instead of waiting until she got too drunk to care who 'helped' her up to her room.

Of course even that plan had been a bit sketchy, what with Adam having the same idea. He'd been practically salivating everytime she'd ordered a shot, sparking a discussion around their table about how sleeping with a drunk girl couldn't actually be called taking advantage of her because she was just doing what she wanted to do, minus the inhibitions. Obviously John, being such a gentleman, disagreed. And he, himself, had to disagree for appearances sake. The rest of them though...

But he'd had to believe that, even with Adam, Cody and Ted drooling over her, she would have gladly picked him to spend the night with.

Till Hardy had come in and stuck his tongue down her throat!

What the fuck was going on here? Hadn't they just established that Katrina had fabricated the whole relationship bullshit? How was it then that Jeff had come in and done the whole touching making-up shit, whispering to her some rubbish he couldn't hear from across the room though it looked like some intense apology? Hadn't the man said how he would never forgive Kat only hours ago? So what the fuck _was_ this?

He wished he could swear out loud the way Adam was doing.

"Dude, ease up a bit there."

John's voice thankfully took his eyes off the horrible mess at the bar.

"What?" he questioned.

"You're going to break that," Cena repeated.

He looked down at the glass in his hand and realised he was gripping it rather tightly in his fist, almost as hard as he wished he was squeezing Jeff's neck. A little more pressure the thing would shatter and cut him.

Thankfully no one else noticed as they were busy voicing their utter disgust that someone who hadn't even been scouting the field had just swooped in and caught the prey.

"You okay?" Cena asked.

"Yeah. I'm just a bit tired. I might head to my room in a little while," he lied.

The look in Cena's eyes said he didn't buy a word of that, but the man didn't call him on it. But he did say, "Looks like the rumours were true after all. Bummer. Jeff's one lucky bastard."

All without taking his eyes off him.

_Play it cool, Randall._

He swallowed his instinctive response and schooled his features to reveal nothing. Cena would have noticed the smallest twitch.

"Looks like it," he said instead.

Cena nodded and looked away, and he hoped he had pulled his act off. John was the one friend of his who completely hated the way he cheated on women – though he had never actually known any of the ones he fucked on the side.

He really didn't want to look at them, but his eyes unwillingly landed on the kissing pair again. He almost let out a sigh of relief when their lips pulled apart, thankful that it had been just a chaste kiss; a kiss he could give any of his girlfriends in public without raising eyebrows.

It had lasted seconds. It didn't mean a thing, right? He looked away and gave John a genuine smile as he raised his drink to his lips.

"Son of a bitch!" Adam swore again, making him pause with the glass to his lips.

Then he turned sharply again just in time to see Jeff's lips swoop down and devour Katrina's, this time all tongues and shit.

_Son of a bitch!_


	18. Chapter 18

**Soooooo sorry! I'm a bad, bad girl. Thank you for your reviews, alerts and favs over the past few... weeks? months? I promise I'm going to try harder. This chapter might not be up to scratch as I haven't written anything in a while. Bad, bad girl!**

**This one is for msgemgem. **

* * *

Jeff fell asleep just before the sun rose. He woke up only a couple of hours later with Kat's limbs tangled with his own and her pretty much on top of him. She'd clung to him the whole night, even after making him promise a few times over that he meant what he'd said and he wasn't going anywhere. He was fine with that. In fact, he was more than fine with it. If she hadn't clung to him, he would have been the one doing the clinging.

He'd never felt so protective of another person before; protective, humbled, awed all at the same time, but protective foremost. He didn't want to take his eyes off her just in case.

Just in case what, though? Kat was safe now. There were no big bad men waiting in the shadows to hurt her.

Carefully, he rolled Kat away from him so she lay on her back and covered her before heading to the bathroom. With all the stuff that had been rolling in his head, he hadn't had much sleep. As he brushed his teeth, the mirror showed him a very pale imitation of himself with bloodshot eyes and a bad head of hair. Even after Kitty Kat had fallen into the deep sleep achieved by the large amount of alcohol she'd practically inhaled, he'd stayed up to watch her, to wonder, to marvel, to feel her pain.

And of course to think about what the previous night would mean for his relationship with Angie. He'd chosen a road where he couldn't make a U-turn. He wanted to make up with Angie, he really did. But if this got back to her, he'd stand no chance what-so-ever. He'd be fucked.

Still, they were officially broken up now. And Kitty Kat... _his_ Kitty Kat needed him. Or maybe it was the other way round. He needed her. While he got his head round the whole Grace thing he didn't plan on leaving her side for even a minute! So why not play 'boyfriend' till then? The hard part was already done; he'd already breached the boundary of their friendship by kissing her like that.

Maybe 'hard' was the wrong term to use. There was nothing hard about kissing Kitty Kat.

Her lips were surprisingly soft. And nice.

During the night, when thoughts of her past had threatened to consume him, Jeff had found himself pushing his mind back to that kiss and just how nice it had been.

He hadn't planned on kissing her like that. The first touch of her lips, pleasant but rather chaste, would have been enough to convince anyone that there was more going on between them. It had been very ... sweet. _Nice_. But something had pushed him to explore a little deeper, to find out what a real kiss with her would feel like, if it would be as sweet as the brief touch promised.

And it had been. When his tongue had met hers, he had been rather shocked to discover he kinda liked it. He'd expected to be freaked out since he'd been kissing his friend, and only hours after losing the love of his life – whom he had not given a second's thought to since discovering Grace's real identity. And Angie had gone even further from his mind as he'd delved deeper into Kat's mouth. It had been a rather eye-opening experience. If she kissed like that... well, no wonder Randy was obsessed with her.

Kissing her after the shock he'd had had been like... like that first sunrise after a long spell of rain – fresh, breathtaking, beautiful. She'd tasted a little of the alcohol she'd consumed but also of something that was so quintessentially Kitty Kat that he couldn't quite put his finger on, something that calmed him and made him want to keep tasting her until he had numbed his mind, rid it of all the horrors that had led him to that point. He had even forgotten that he had been kissing her for an audience, instead, holding her as close to him as he could while he explored the surprising delights of her mouth. It was only as he had come up for air and started kissing her jaw and her smooth neck that he remembered it wasn't real.

And that she was drunk and possibly had no clue what was going on.

It had been quite a challenge to stop himself, and this was quite disturbing. The confusion he'd felt earlier before their fight, when she had teased him about wanting her to himself, had come to the forefront as he'd tried to calm his breathing.

But then he'd looked down into her face and seen the smile on her lips, the smile he had put there, and his confusion disappeared.

To anybody else, the smiles they'd shared were secret smiles between lovers. To him, that sweet, beautiful smile meant depressed- drunk- Kitty Kat was gone, and hopefully she would stay gone. It had eased his heart a little.

And it had made Randy completely mad.

He thought back to that again and smiled.

oOo

"_Wanna get out of here?" he whispered against her lips. _

"_Did you just kiss me, Nero?" she chuckled. _

"_Yes, I did."_

"_That was awesome! Will you do it again?"_

_Happy-drunk Kitty Kat. Always a pleasure._

"_Yes," he chuckled as he helped her down from her stool and put his arm around her to lead her out of the bar._

"_And again?"_

"_I'll kiss you till you beg me to stop," he promised, because he had seen Orton come up behind them and knew he could hear every word._

"_I never want to fight with you again," Kat slurred as she put her arms around him. "I love you loads, Nero."_

_He kissed the top of her head and tightened his grip on her because he appreciated those words now more than any of the few times she had actually said them to him._

"_And I love you."_

_He heard angry muttering behind him as they made their way to the elevator and grinned. It felt good to be pissing the arrogant prick off, even if it was probably going to be only for a little while._

_Kat tripped, as she always did when she had too much to drink, and he picked her up bridal style, as he always did when that happened._

"_My hero," Kat smiled as she put her arms around his neck. "I don't deserve you."_

_They had stopped at the elevator now where an elderly couple were waiting._

"_Don't say that. I'm the one who doesn't deserve you," he whispered earnestly, looking into her eyes, forgetting their audience again as the images of her life hit him again. "I'm going to make sure you're always happy."_

"_It's not hard to be when I'm with you," she whispered back, letting her palm cup his cheek. "You're my family, Nero. I'm going to make sure you're happy, too."_

_He swallowed a lump. He'd always known she considered him part of her family, but knowing now how much that meant to her made him want to kick himself again for not seeing the truth earlier. And for almost losing her completely, for almost giving her up._

"_I think this is when you kiss her," the elderly woman said._

_He broke the gaze to smile at the woman._

"_Oh, hell yeah! Bring on that kiss, darlin'," Katrina said, puckering her lips._

_He chuckled and brought his lips to meet hers again but only briefly. But even that brought angry muttering from behind him._

_The elevator finally opened and allowed all of them in. He was rather surprised that Randy hadn't waited for the next one or even taken the stairs – he looked angry enough to just hurt someone. Randy stood brooding in the corner, still unnoticed by Kat, who was smiling as she ran her fingers through his hair like she always did when she was drunk._

_The elderly couple got off first, after the woman told him that they looked good together and he should hold on to her, make an honest woman of her before someone else snapped her up. He couldn't help smirking at Randy._

_Then it was just them and the Viper. The angry Viper. He had no idea how Kat would react if she saw him but he hoped she would keep up the pretence. Her memory was like a sieve when she was drunk._

"_What the fuck is going on?" _

_At Randy's words, he felt Kat tense in his arms. But she didn't let go of him. She didn't even turn around to look. He took it as a positive sign._

"_What does it look like?" he asked, holding Kat a little tighter against him._

"_One minute you're walking away from her, the next you're kissing her? _The fuck_?"_

"_Well, I had to choose. And unlike you, I chose right."_

_He looked down at her as he said this and saw the worry on her face. Was she also remembering how he had told her their friendship was over? Was she remembering how angry he'd been with her?_

"_I chose right," he repeated, holding her gaze, hoping to make her believe it._

"_So she wasn't lying?"_

"_No. I guess I should thank you. If it wasn't for your meddling, I'd still be stuck in a situation I didn't want, stringing Angie along."_

_He hoped he wouldn't get struck down by lightning for lying._

"_You're lying. Both of you are. Katrina loves me. _Me_. You don't feel something like that and just easily walk away."_

"_Oh, you'd be surprised how easy it can be," Kat said, finally slipping down to stand on her own feet so she could be face to face with Randy._

"_Katrina, listen_"_

"_No, _you_ listen. I _love _you? I might have deluded myself into thinking that before but after the past few weeks? After the nasty things you said to me that night in the stairwell? After tonight? You used me. You were ashamed of me, told me I wasn't good enough, made me feel like I was worth less than the shit under your shoes," she said, her eyes getting colder with every word she spoke._

"_It wasn't like that. You know why we had to keep it secret."_

"_Yes. Because I wasn't good enough! I almost lost Jeff tonight. I almost lost... You have _no idea_ what he means to me." She stopped to compose herself. "I realised something tonight. I don't envy Maria, I feel sorry for her because you don't love her either but you're still willing to tie her to you, to build a pretend life with her. You're not capable of loving anyone but yourself. I deserve _so_ much more than what you were ever going to give me. I deserve to be loved. I deserve someone who's proud to stand up and say I belong to him. Jeff's never been ashamed of me. _Never_. So guess what? This is me walking away. I'm done with you, you pompous, sanctimonious prick."_

_With that, the doors opened and she walked out, leaving both him and Randy to stare at her retreating back. Jeff had never felt prouder of anyone than in that moment - her Kitty Kat actually standing up to Randy, speaking her mind. It was priceless._

"_This isn't over," Randy said to him._

_He looked at the man closely and realised that it really wasn't. Randy didn't look angry anymore, but he looked a little shaken. Maybe tonight had been the wake-up call he needed. Maybe he had real feelings for Kitty Kat after all._

_When the Viper manned up and admitted this, then he would be more than happy to stand aside and let Kat be happy. But until that happened, _he _was Kat's boyfriend._

"_I think it is. The better man won," he smirked as he followed Kat out._

_And just for the fuck of it, when they got to their door he pushed Kat against it and gave her another kiss, longer than the one he'd given her at the bar – sweeter, deeper, probably more intoxicating too. _

_And if he hadn't known it made Randy angry, the slamming door would have told him so._

_oOo_

He smiled again as he finished brushing his teeth. But then he remembered why he was doing this in the first place.

Again.

His mind kept coming back to it no matter how hard he tried to stop it, no matter how hard he tried to think of the kiss or Angie instead.

_Grace._

There was still so much he was yet to know but he had been wondering if he should stop reading the book and let Kitty tell him the rest somewhere down the line. Was he invading her privacy by reading it behind her back? How would she react if she ever found it?

He was still no closer to an answer when he jumped into the shower. The hot sting of the water woke him up a little, and by the time he finished and stepped back into the bedroom with a towel around his waist and using another to dry his hair, he was feeling more refreshed.

Kat was awake, sitting propped up against the pillows and looking uncertain. He stopped drying his hair and gave her a little smile. He didn't know how he was supposed to act around her now without giving himself away.

"Hey," he said softly, attempting a smile.

"Hey," she answered with a little smile of her own before she started twiddling her fingers.

He'd always thought she was so confident, which she normally was with him, but now that he realised the truth he knew what a great big front that was.

He dropped the towel in his hand and walked to sit on his side of the bed, propping himself up the way she had done and making sure the towel adequately covered him. Then he offered his hand to her on the little space between their bodies as she had done only the previous morning when they had talked about her breakdown. He almost heard her relief when she quickly took it and entwined their fingers.

"I thought I was imagining things," she whispered.

"Nah. This is real," he said as he brought their joined hands up to his lips. "Friends for life, remember?"

"Yeah, but... I'm so, so sorry, Jeff," she started tremulously. "I was stupid and selfish. I should never_"

"Shhh," he said. "Like I said last night, let's just start over."

She turned her head to look at him and he noticed the tears glimmering in her beautiful eyes. They cut him so deep he couldn't help pulling her into his arms, though he knew it was more to comfort himself.

God, how would he ever get over this?

"How could you forgive me so easily?" she whispered.

He would forgive her anything now. But how could he explain that?

"That's what friends do," he whispered back, still holding on to her, hiding his face from her.

"I don't deserve that. I don't deserve you. You should have walked away last night," she whispered again.

"I'll never walk away from you again," he promised. "Never."

Oh, Kitty Kat...

He felt like hiding away somewhere, though he had no wounds of his own to lick.

But he couldn't so he did the next best thing; he clung on to her for as long as he could. It was only the insistent beeping of Kat's phone that forced him to let her go so she could attend to it.

"We've been summoned," she said with a frown, handing him her phone so he could read the text.

"_Breakfast. NOW. Bring Jeff with you!"_

"Wow. He didn't call me names. He must be _really_ mad," he said.

He had an idea what this was about. Not only had he not called Hunter when he had found Kat, news about the kiss must have got around by now. This meant he had to tell Kat about it before they went downstairs.

"Um... what do you remember about last night?"

"What did I do?" she asked immediately, almost panicked.

"Nothing."

She let out a relieved sigh.

"But _I_ kissed you," he continued, then watched as she sank back onto the bed.

"I thought I was imagining that, too."

He grinned at her slightly.

"Nah. That was damn real, too."

"Jeff, I can't let you do this."

"I want to."

"I don't _want_ you to do this. I don't want to play games any more. Randy's never going to change the way he thinks about me."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do. I know his type," Kat sighed. "I guess in the beginning I was fine with it because I didn't want anything serious. But..."

"But you fell in love with him," he finished for her.

She nodded and started twiddling her fingers again.

"We never had that type of relationship, you know, the normal type where you go out and do stuff together, talk, shit like that. He did all that with Maria. It was stupid of me to give him an ultimatum; obviously he was never going to pick me."

"You don't know that," he said.

"Yes, I do. I've never had much luck. There's no reason for me to think I'd have it now," she snorted.

She'd always said cryptic things like this in the past but never explained herself. But now he knew, it tightened his chest all over again.

"You can have anything your little heart desires, sweetheart. And you will," he promised her.

"You say that like you're some sort of genie," she chuckled. "Let's just let this one go. He treated me like shit. Going back to him would just mean I'm crazy."

"But you love him," he repeated.

"And you hate him. Why would you suddenly decide to help me?"

_Why? Oh, Grace... _

"I admit I don't like the guy," he said. "But I love you and I want to help you."

"Think about Angie. You'll ruin your chances with her completely. I _won't_ let you do it."

"Too late. I think that kiss was pretty convincing. I'd say, if the rumour mill is working properly, everybody knows about us by now. There's no backing out. Even if I don't kiss you again, just being seen together will be confirmation of our supposed relationship."

Kat sighed again.

"I don't want to go through with it anymore," she whispered. "Randy... I don't think he'll ever be what I want him to be."

"You never know. The guy was insanely jealous last night. Maybe you got him thinking."

She shook her head again. "All he's thinking about is how he's going to have to find another convenient lay; someone who can just turn up the second Maria leaves."

He took her hand again and forced her to look at him.

"But you still love him?"

"It's not so easy to just walk away, is it?" Katrina whispered.

It was for some people. It had been very easy for Angie.

"You still love him, so I'm going to get him for you," he promised again.

"_Stop saying that!_ You can't 'get him' for me. All of this is stupid. My lies cost you your relationship, I'm _not_ going to do it again. And not to mention, if what you say about the rumour is true, you have one really big, angry man with a sledgehammer coming after you. I'm not going to lie to him, Jeff."

"I'm not asking you to. Just let me worry about Hunter."

"We're not doing this!" she repeated. "You should be worrying about how we're going to get Angie to hear you out."

"We'll do that. Eventually. Which reminds me: I'm coming home with you tonight."

It made sense. There was nothing waiting for him at Matt's house except a big, lonely bed and too many memories. There was nothing he could do about that at the moment. But he could be with Kat. He could be with her until he got a handle on her reality. He didn't know how long that would take, though, because feeling okay again seemed a long way away.

"_What?_ Don't be silly. You need to go home to sort things out with Angie."

"She won't be there. I guess I don't want to face that just yet, I don't want to walk into an empty house... an empty bed."

He saw the look on her face and felt a little bad for playing the guilt card. But it had to be done.

"I guess..."

"Good. Now go get ready, we don't want to keep Hunter waiting."

Kat sighed and kicked the covers off her body. He'd taken it for granted before, but for Kat to be so comfortable with him like this, enough to be near enough naked in front of him when most of the men in her life had abused her, when she had every reason to hate his sex... People trusted him; they trusted him with secrets, confidences and the like. But to know the sort of trust Kat felt for him... it was humbling. In that moment, he got the feeling she would trust him with her life. Literally.

"You really _do_ trust me." He said it as a statement, not a question as he took her hand again.

"Of course," she said without hesitation, and he knew she meant it.

She'd taken his side in arguments without question countless times, a lot of times without even knowing what the argument was about, like the really pointless one he'd had with Matt just the previous night. She had never believed any of the backstage rumours about him. She trusted him, full stop. And she had more reason than most not to trust anyone, certainly more reason than Angie.

In fact, if he had been going out with her instead of Angie, she would never have believed whatever crap Randy had said.

He crushed that disloyalty before it took root. All couples went through bad patches. He just had to believe that in the end, Angie would see the truth and come back to him.

Quickly, he got of the bed and walked to the wardrobe where he'd stuffed his bag. From the corner of his eye he watched her slowly get off the bed and hesitantly do as he'd asked. He pretended not to notice that she was dying to argue about his decisions but her guilt was keeping her from it, then only when she'd closed the bathroom door did he let out a breath and sink to the floor.

_How the hell was he going to get through this?_

_

* * *

_

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Good morning to you, too, Hunter," Jeff said as he pulled out a chair for Kat before taking his own opposite Hunter, Shawn and Steph.

"We were up all night looking for her and all you can say is 'good morning'? The fuck's wrong with you?" Hunter frowned.

"I'm sorry. When I found her... I kinda had too many things on my mind. I forgot," Jeff said, catching Hunter's eye.

The other man knew how shook up he had been the other night. Surely he could let this one go?

But from the look in Hunter's eyes, it was clear he wouldn't.

"Sweetheart, why don't you go and order some breakfast? I just need a quick word with Jeff here," Hunter said.

"Aww, come on," Kat frowned in irritation. "You don't need to give him the first degree or anything. Everything's fine."

"Katrina, please," Steph said, making Kat sigh and grumble as she stood up and left the table.

It was only then that he noticed that the other two occupants at the table didn't seem happy with him either. He supposed that he should have expected that.

"Explain yourself," Shawn started.

It occurred to him that he was sitting with three of probably the very few people who knew what he knew. And just like that, he felt the pain right to his gut again.

"How do you do it?" he asked, his voice a mere breath as he fought with the urge to break down. "How do you watch her day in, day out and not lock her up in her room so she never has to suffer again? How do you sit there day in, day out like everything is okay?"

"Because that's all we _can_ do," Steph said softly. "Everything _is_ okay now. She put Grace to rest years ago. And while we know she's not going to heal that easily, we have to give her the space to live her life the way she wants to, space she was never given before."

He turned his head to watch her as she placed her breakfast order. She had dressed as herself today- baggy jeans, a shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a baseball cap on her head - because she didn't want to dress to impress anyone anymore.

"All I want to do is hold her so tight, to keep her away from everybody just in case... On the way down some man kept looking at her and all I could think of was how I wanted to kill him because I don't want any man looking at her like that ever again," he confessed on a whisper. "I couldn't sleep last night because I kept seeing it... Why did you give me that book, Hunter?"

Hunter was looking at him angrily any more. If he was to guess he'd say the older man felt sorry for him.

"Because I thought you needed to know," Hunter answered. "You mean a lot to her, she spends all her time with you. I thought if you knew then I could finally trust you with her... and maybe I wouldn't have to constantly worry."

"That still doesn't explain why you kissed her!" Shawn exclaimed.

He sighed and ran his hand over his tired face.

"Because it was an emotional moment," he explained. "We'd argued then I found out the truth and everything suddenly made sense. When I found her she was looking so sad and I didn't like seeing her like that."

"So you kissed her?" Shawn grunted. "You find out a girl's had one hell of a life, literally, because of the attentions of nasty men, and the only thing you think to do is _kiss_ her?"

"I'm not like _them__"

"Good. Because I'd hate to have to kill you," Hunter growled.

"You know I care about her_"

"And if that's all it is, you better make sure you don't kiss her again and put ideas in her head," Shawn warned. "I know how you're feeling, we've all had to go through that, but if you start something with her now then somewhere down the road you realise what a big mistake you've made, I'm going to come after you, Hardy."

"It's not like that_" he started, only to cut himself short when he saw Randy standing with Kat at the till. "Excuse me."

The others watched him make his way quickly to where Kat was and put his arm around her protectively. Shawn shook his head and sighed.

"He's treating her like a puppy with only one leg. I bet she's going to know he knows by the end of the day," he said.

* * *

"The fuck do you want?"

Randy looked at the hand that had snaked around Katrina's waist then up at the angry green eyes of the man it belonged to. He wished he could break it off. How dare the man think he could just put himself in the middle of what he and Kat were going through? This wasn't Jeff's fight. Whatever was going on, Jeff should have stood aside and let them work it out instead of jumping into Kat's bed the first chance he'd got. Maybe they would have come to some sort of agreement. Maybe Kat would have stopped asking for things she couldn't have and just enjoyed what they had.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I was just asking Katrina if I could call her later so we can talk," he growled.

"No," Jeff answered.

His eyes narrowed. He had never felt so angry before, and that made infuriated him a lot more. Katrina shouldn't have crawled under his skin so much. When she started having all these ideas of some stupid 'happy ever after' he should have just walked away. Instead, here he was trying to get her back even after all the shit that had happened the previous night.

"I wasn't asking you."

"You have nothing to talk about," Hardy hissed. "Leave her the fuck alone. She's mine now."

_His?_ Katrina would never be his. Not if he had anything to do with it.

_But what are you going to do, Randall? You were up all night imagining Jeff nailing her instead of kicking his fucking door down and taking what you wanted. I bet you would have huddled into a corner and cried, too, if I had let you. Fucking pussy._

"Let's get one thing straight here. Katrina is yours... for now. But I'm going to get her back."

Katrina grunted.

"And just how are you going to do that?" she asked.

"If you pick up your phone later, I'll tell you," he answered.

He was well aware that people were watching them and now wasn't the time for a confrontation. And he was probably going to miss his flight home because he'd felt the need to see Katrina one last time before going home to Maria and his parents for the next four days. Normally, knowing Katrina was waiting for him when he got back got him through the time he was at home. But now...

"Randy..."

The way she said gave him a little hope. She still felt something for him, he was sure of it. She wasn't quite as done with him as she had led him to believe. She wasn't going to just walk away.

"Please," he whispered.

That was one word he never used, but he used it now in the hopes that it would sway her. He couldn't see anything in her eyes to tell him if he got through to her or not. She wasn't a very expressive person.

Except in bed. Her eyes lit up when he was inside her. Her whole body lit up. She burned...

But looking into her eyes now he saw a little longing in the silver-grey depths. Maybe even a little hurt. A little hope. In fact, the longer he looked into her eyes the more he realised there was nothing cold about Katrina like he had first believed, like he had first been drawn to. She was nothing like him. She just tried very hard to pretend she was.

He went back on his earlier statement; Katrina was very expressive. He'd just never given a fuck before. And he really didn't give a fuck now.

Except he knew this damaged and probably emotionally demanding person was in love with him, pining her hopes on a future that would never happen, a future with him – even if she had said something to the contrary in the elevator the previous night. She'd said herself, he wasn't capable of love. If he had any sort of honour he'd let her go right now, let her build her future with Hardy.

But he'd never claimed to be a gentleman.

And Katrina was his to fuck until he said she wasn't.

"I'll call you later?" he asked again, pushing gently.

She gave him a little nod and he smiled. He didn't miss the way Hardy's arm tightened around her briefly.

"Why don't you take the coffee to the table, sweetheart," Hardy said. "I'll be with you in a second."

He watched her silently do as Hardy asked, picking up a tray with cups of coffee on it before making her way back to their table. He couldn't help watching the gentle sway of her firm bottom as she walked even though she looked ridiculous in those jeans. She had a certain grace about her walk, even though she was anything but graceful. It was one of the things that had drawn him to her.

As soon as she was seated, he turned to look at Hardy. There was no mistaking the burning anger in those green eyes.

"What are you trying to do?" Jeff hissed.

"I would have thought it was obvious," he answered lazily as he reached for his own coffee. "You've won only a minor battle. This is war, Hardy, and I intend to fight to the very bitter end."

"Till you've had enough of fucking her, you mean?" Hardy growled. "Let me make one thing clear to you. If that's all you're after from my Kitty Kat, there's no way in hell I'm letting you near her."

"And how are you going to stop me? You can't be with her all the time, Hardy. And we both know if you weren't hovering around her every second, I could have her flat on her back in minutes."

Hardy smirked.

"You're deluded, Orton. You see, the rules of this game have changed. If this is a war, I've already won. She doesn't want you anymore. She knows you only want one thing; she knows you're no good for her. You heard what she said last night, she meant that," Jeff smiled. "Oh, and one more thing: when you call her whenever you call her, ask her if I've settled in alright."

He frowned.

"You're going to her house?"

Hardy smirked again.

"I'm moving in," he said, then turned around to head back to his table.

He didn't watch Jeff, because he would have given in to his urge to kill him. The last thing he wanted to know was that Hardy was going to be in her bed on the road _and_ at home. He was already messed up in the head enough as it was.

_Fucking dick!_

_

* * *

_

**Might be a few surprises soon...**


	19. Chapter 19

**I wonder how often one can apologise before people start telling them to ef off... **

Kat played with the lid of her water bottle as she sat next to Jeff by Catering. All night long she'd racked her head trying to find a way to ask Jeff to go home and sort things out with his girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. She couldn't understand why he wasn't fighting this. How could he let her walk out of her life over something that wasn't true? Actually, how could he come back and offer his help – which she didn't need since she didn't think Randy would ever leave Maria for her – after what she had done?

If she hadn't been feeling so guilty she would have told him exactly what she thought about that.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

He'd been walking around like a zombie all day long. She must have looked like that the first few days after things ended with Randy.

"I'm fine," Jeff replied.

She could see through his fake smile. The man was far from fine. And it was her fault. She needed to fix things for him, to get Angie back, or at least get them to talk so she could see their breakup was based on complete bullshit.

She took his hand and looked him straight in the eyes. It was painful to see the pain in them.

"You know you need to go home, don't you? Coming with me will only make things a million times worse."

"I'm not going home," he said.

She frowned. Nothing much had made sense about his actions after he'd shouted at her the previous night. He'd looked like he'd really meant all those hurtful things he had said, like he really hated her and there was no way they could be friends again. Then all of a sudden, he was apologising and trying to make it up to her. She was the one in the wrong; she was the one who'd messed up so she should have been the one kissing his ass.

"The sooner you talk to her the better. What if she hasn't left? What if she couldn't go through with it because she loves you so much? What if she's just waiting for you to come home and make things right again? If you come with me then you will never get her back because it will seem like everything she heard is true."

"She should have trusted me in the first place."

"Are you really going to throw your love away over some silly principles? Over your pride?"

Jeff looked away and said, "Kat, don't. I'm not ready to deal with all that. I don't _want_ to deal with that. Just let me come with you."

She sighed. She knew Jeff was real big on trust so Angie would have really hurt him by not taking his word. And this was the part that didn't make sense: that she, too, had broken his trust by going behind his back and lying to Randy and yet he was still there. It was almost as if he had chosen her over Angie. But she knew it wasn't the case. Angie was the one who was supposed to trust him and back him up no matter what while she was only his friend. Angie not trusting him would hurt a lot more.

She needed to find a way to make him go home.

And just as she thought that, she saw Matt and Shane walking towards the catering area.

"You need to tell Matt what happened so he's not shocked when he gets home to an empty house," she suggested.

"I'll call him later."

"No need. He's here."

"I can't tell him now, he'll want to know everything and now really isn't the time."

"Well, we're leaving in a few minutes. Now is really all you have."

"No."

"Well, what if I apologise for being a bitch to him last night. Will that make you talk to him?"

"You? Apologise?"

"Just because I don't do it often it doesn't mean I can't."

"Well, that I gotta see," Jeff chuckled.

She signalled Matt and Shane over and was a bit miffed that Matt seemed reluctant. She liked making apologies even less when it looked like they weren't going to be accepted. But Shane nudged Matt forward, forcing him to walk to their little table.

"Hi," she said to him.

"Hello," Matt answered, but he said nothing else.

"Please sit down. I need to talk to you."

"I can't imagine there's anything else to be said."

"Matt, come on," Jeff pleaded. "Please sit. There are things you need to know."

"Like your new relationship?"

"No! Well, yes, in a way," she said. "First I want to apologise for last night."

"Why? You meant every word."

"No I didn't. You know I didn't. I may be a bitch about a lot of things but you know you helped me that night, and all the other nights you came to my room," she admitted.

Matt sighed and pulled a chair to the table.

"I'll leave you guys to talk then," Shane said, turning from them.

"No, wait," she sighed. "If I'm going to be friends with Matt I'm going to have to be friends with you, too."

"You sound very enthusiastic," Shane panned.

"Because I don't do friends. I don't like playing nice. I don't like giving a shit about other people," she frowned. "It took Jeff many, many weeks of stalking me before I even said hello, and if it wasn't for him following me to some club after work and getting me drunk, he'd probably still be stalking me now."

"True," Jeff nodded.

"It was very annoying. Couldn't stand the sight of him at first. But he got under my skin and... well, you're doing exactly what he did. You're making it hard for me to not give a shit," she sighed.

"Why do you need to do that?"

She looked away from him. Questions again. They were the reason she hadn't wanted to be friends with him in the first place.

"Let's just say I learned the hard way that people fucking suck. And the more I keep to myself the better," she said. "Jeff was an exception. I wasn't willing to make another one but you're his brother, and you're one of his good friends. If Jeff is going to be my friend for the rest of my life, I need to learn to be at least civil to the people in his. At least, a few of them."

She shrugged and looked back at Matt.

"I'm sorry about last night."

Matt nodded.

"Alright. Apology accepted," he said. "But may I ask a question though?"

She'd said too much. Matt had already sniffed something out and had his shovel ready to dig. Damnit!

"It depends," she answered cautiously.

"It's about last night. I'm not going to push you to talk about anything else," Matt assured her. "You two argued. Jeff called me when he was looking for you. Then according to everybody, when he found you, he kissed you and carried you back to your room. Have we missed something here?"

She looked at Jeff. That was his cue to explain because that was the bit she didn't understand either.

"Angela was here," Jeff started. "Randy and Maria had her in their room while we were out and told her all sorts of rubbish about me and Kitty Kat. And now she's left me."

"What?" Shane and Matt said together.

"She thinks I've been cheating on her with Kat 'cause we're share a room," Jeff shrugged. "She won't be there when you get home."

"Don't worry, Jeff. I'm sure we can work this out. Shane and I will back you up," Matt said.

"You can even explain about Randy and me. I'm so over that dude right now so it doesn't matter to me anymore who knows," she added. "You'll have Angie back in no time."

"Kat, stop it. I've already told you I'm not going home."

"Why? You need to talk to Angie," Shane said.

Jeff looked away from everybody and said nothing.

"He says he doesn't want to go to an empty house," she explained for him. "I've been trying to tell him that coming with me is a bad idea, especially after last night."

"I'm getting so confused right now," Shane said. "Angie left you, so you kissed Kat and now you want to go home with her? Are the rumours true then? Are you two together?"

"No. Jeff just had this idea... it doesn't matter now anyway because Randy doesn't give a shit."

"It _does_ matter. So if anybody asks you, you better tell them we're together," Jeff said firmly.

"Jeff, all of that isn't important right now. Go get your girl back," she pleaded.

"It _is_ important. You _do_ matter," he said fiercely, turning back to look her in the eye. "I'm not having this conversation again. I'll wait for you outside Hunter's locker room."

She watched him walk away before looking at his brother.

"What's going on Katrina?" Matt asked.

"I don't know. Last night he said he didn't want to be friends anymore. I deserved it; it's my fault they broke up. I need to fix things, Matt. You've got to make him go home with you."

"How is it your fault?" Matt asked.

"I sort of... well, I _did_ tell Randy that Jeff and I were together to make him jealous. Then he told Angie and it all blew up in my face. Jeff was so angry with me last night..."

Her voice trailed off as she remembered.

"You already know he's important to me. I've hurt him. If I don't get Angie back for him, I'll never forgive myself. You've got to help me, Matt."

"I can talk to Angie, but if Jeff won't come home I don't think anything I say will help. Has he even tried calling her?"

She shook her head. Matt frowned and looked down the hallway again where Jeff was just disappearing around a corner.

"Let him come with you. I'll do what I can at home," he promised finally. "I'll just go have a quick word with him before we go."

"Thanks."

* * *

Matt found Jeff where he had said he would be, but he frowned as he approached his little brother. He was leaning against the wall and staring off into space. After breaking up with a woman he'd thought he would spend the rest of his life with, the slumped shoulders were understandable. But his brother's stance was anything but heartbroken. He looked angry. In fact, the longer he stood there lost in his thoughts, the more his fists clenched.

It just confirmed to him that there was more going on here. And it confirmed that whatever it was had to do with Katrina.

Why else would his brother go with Katrina instead of rushing home to fix things with the woman he loved?

"Hey," he said as he leaned on the wall opposite his brother.

Jeff seemed to snap out of his thoughts.

"Hey," he replied.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Jeff answered gruffly.

"Is Kat alright?"

There was a pause after that unexpected question, all the answer he needed.

"What do you want, Matt?" Jeff asked with a sigh.

"Just tell me this then: is being with Katrina right now more important than going to find Angie?"

"Yes," Jeff whispered.

For a moment he thought his brother was going to cry, but Jeff looked away and composed himself.

"You argued last night. Did she try to kill herself again?"

Jeff looked at him sharply.

"It's not hard to guess. She's got the scars," Matt said. "She told me she would never do it again but now I have to wonder..."

"No, she hasn't tried it again. She's fine. It's me. I can't... I need make sure... She's fine," Jeff said.

It seemed nobody was fine. But he was unlikely to get the story anytime soon.

"I'll talk to Angie. You go do what you need to do. I'll see you in a few days," he said as he walked forward to give his brother a manly hug.

* * *

Hunter stood by the window, the curtain slightly pulled back so he could look out at the two people sprawled by his poolside, taking advantage of the beautiful day. Katrina seemed to be fast asleep but Jeff hadn't taken his eyes off her in a long time, even though he looked like he needed to sleep too. He felt sorry for the kid.

When he had found out about Grace, learning to deal with it had been really hard. It still was. All these years had passed, but not a day went past that he didn't think about it; not a day went past that he didn't hurt for her; and not a day went past when he didn't want to kill the bastards who had done this.

Jeff was going through all those things, too, probably more since all of it was still fresh for him.

"Come on, baby. The kids are ready," Steph said as she walked up behind him.

She took a moment to look outside, too.

"He'll be fine," she said as she pulled him away. "But I still think he should tell her he knows. She'll be really angry if she finds out by herself."

"She won't look at him the same. Who knows, maybe the only reason she's so close to him is because she thinks he doesn't know."

"She loves him and she trusts him. She's not going to stop doing that just because he knows about her past. Give her more credit than that," Steph said as she led him to where the kids were waiting by the entrance. "You know how she feels about the people she considers her family. She's not going to stop talking to Jeff any more than she'd stop talking to you."

"I don't know. She's worked really hard to keep that secret. She has to tell him herself."

"Well, we can't worry about that now. We have Dad's party to plan, and those meetings after dinner to prepare for," Steph said.

* * *

Kat woke up to the wonderful feeling of Jeff's magic hands on her back. She stretched slightly and yawned, a smile on her face. Until she remembered it was Angie he was supposed to be with.

"You were getting burnt. Thought I'd put some sun screen on you back," Jeff said.

"Thanks. I can do your back, too, if you want," she offered.

"I'm alright."

"Did you get any sleep?"

They had got in very late, or rather, very early that morning. Hunter had done the driving so she had slept a little bit in the back. But she knew Jeff hadn't, and he hadn't when they had finally got home either. When he was here, Jeff was under strict instructions to sleep in his own bed due to a certain incident with the kids a few visits back, but for some reason, no one had said anything when he'd come to hers.

"No really."

She lifted her head and twisted her body so she could look at him, taking care to hold her bikini top in place.

"Do you want to call her?"

"Not right now."

"If you get the ball rolling you might stop stressing so much and maybe you'll be able to sleep."

"Maybe tomorrow," Jeff said.

He avoided her eyes. Something told her he wasn't going to call Angie. She sighed and lay down again.

"Want something to eat? You haven't eaten much."

"I'm fine. Unless you want to eat. I can make you something quick," he offered.

She sighed again. She'd have to call Matt later to find out if there was any progress with Angie. If not, she was going to have to take things into her own hands and call her herself.

* * *

Randy stabbed at the fire in the barbeque stand again before taking another big swig of his beer. He didn't want to be here, which was ironic because the whole reason he did everything he did was so he could be here, at his parents' house, doing things they approved of. Like one big fucking happy family.

He heard that nauseating giggle and turned his nose up as he looked up at them on the patio again. Maria and his mother. Planning his wedding. Or should he say, planning the wedding his mother had always wanted. Which was what he'd always wanted anyway; to do something that would get him in their good graces again, get him to be included in the family again.

So now that he had that, why wasn't he fucking satisfied?

Maria giggled again and he resisted the urge to throw his beer bottle at her. That would probably get him banned from his family home for more than a few years this time.

Turning away before he did something he would regret, he took his phone out of his pocket and dialled a number.

It rang more than it normally did, like maybe the person he was calling was in two minds whether to answer the phone or not. When she finally answered with a tentative, 'hello,' he knew he was right.

"Why are you doing this to me?" he whispered before he could stop himself.

* * *

Jeff had told Kat to put her phone on speaker so he could hear what that shit had to say too. He hadn't stopped massaging her so he had felt her tense up again as soon as she had seen the caller ID.

"I don't know what you mean," Kat said.

"Everything was fine. We were fine," Randy said. "Actually, we were more than fine, we were fucking awesome. Why did you leave me?"

He sounded so desperate. Maybe they wouldn't have to pretend for too long.

"I didn't _leave_ you. We were never really together."

"Well, I want you back. We can start over."

If he wasn't trying to get Randy back for her, he would have told her to hang up. Randy wasn't good enough for her, he never would be.

Biting his lip, he moved himself down her body so he was straddling her thighs then worked from the sides of her breast to the indent of her waist. Then he almost swore out loud when even that failed to get his mind off the shit going through his head.

"Yeah, I'm sure it would make you happy for me to forget how you treated me."

"I was angry. I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm sorry."

"That's not going to work, Randy. You'll never be able to give me what I want so maybe you should just stop calling me."

"I'm not going to beg you Katrina. If you really want me to stop, then I will. But you don't want that. You want to be with me, too."

"You're deluded, Orton."

The guy was a jerk; still trying to pretend he didn't give a shit. Did he really think he'd get her back by saying that?

Maybe they needed to turn the heat up a little bit to get the guy really worked up.

With that in mind, he let his hands go back up her sides again then stopped by her breasts. He never stopped there. Of course, because of his fascination with her body, he'd seen them before when he'd sketched or painted her, or when she got too comfortable during a massage. But he'd never stopped there.

As he'd thought, Kat let out a little squeak and turned to look at him questioningly. He grinned at her as he took advantage of the new position to slip one of his hands underneath her, just under her breasts. He didn't want to violate her space by actually touching her breasts after everything she had been through, but he could tease her a little bit to get the same effect. Still grinning, he lowered his body slowly.

She let out another squeak.

"Katrina? What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

She tried to escape his grasp but he held her to his body firmly until he had his lips right by her ear. He knew she was very sensitive there.

"No," Kat whispered, but he nibbled her anyway.

Then she let out her cute little laugh, one he knew Randy wouldn't have heard before because she only ever laughed with him.

"Katrina! Is Hardy there?"

He nibbled again and she squealed. She was making all the right noises.

"Don't do this. Please," Randy whispered.

"I'm going to have to go," Kat laughed before ending the call.

He rolled over, laughing as well.

"He's going to think we were fucking or something," Kat groaned, shoving him playfully as she put her bikini top back on.

"I know. He's going to torture himself thinking about it," he said gleefully.

"I don't know why you're so happy. The guy more or less said he doesn't give a shit one way or another."

"Yeah. Because the great Randy Orton would take time out of his important day to call a girl who means nothing to him, tell her he wants her back and really mean it when he says he's not going to beg," he snorted. "He's going to call back."

Kat sighed and looked at him.

"I don't want to do this anymore," she said. "I don't want to play games with anyone. We should be getting Angie back, not doing this."

Maybe. But he needed time to get his head around what he knew first. It'd be no good talking to Angie while his head was seeing images of Grace's life. That would do more harm than good. Angie would feel like their relationship wasn't important to him when it was the most important and he'd lose her for good.

"We'll try," he said truthfully. "Once we get Randy back. Who knows, maybe the guy will help me out and tell the truth once he's back with you."

He hadn't thought of it like that but maybe Randy would have his uses.

"You think so?"

"Of course. That would be the best way. We don't even know what exactly he told her so it would be hard to fix things without him."

"Hard but not impossible," she argued. "I can talk to her. I can fix this. We don't need Randy."

And this was also true. But Angie was hardly likely to listen to the woman he was supposed to have been sleeping with.

"How about this, then: you let me do this my way then you can help me get Angie back?"

"Your way involves pretending to be my boyfriend! That's not going to help your situation."

"Well, it's either that or nothing. We can both just sit back and watch the people we love walk away."

"You wouldn't do that. You love Angie too much."

"And you love Randy! So why don't you let me help you, too? I can't talk to Angie right now. I _do_ love her, but right now all I can think is that she didn't trust me, that she walked away. Trust me, its better I stay away until I'm not angry about that."

Kat sighed and he saw that she had given in.

"If you want this to end quicker, we could up the game a little bit," he suggested.

"How?"

"I wasn't going to kiss you again but I think Randy will crack faster if I do. We need more public displays."

Kat snorted in amusement. But he was serious. If Randy saw how it could be with her maybe he would want to see where a real relationship with her would lead. Then he wouldn't have to worry that she was being used because Randy would be taking it seriously – he would have to be serious to leave Maria. He wasn't going to let Kitty Kat be with Randy if Maria was still in the picture.

So all the big guns had to come out. And if that didn't work, he would have to get dirty. Kat had to be happy. That was all that mattered.

"I'm being serious. You were drunk the first time, maybe it will be more believable if you're sober."

"If you try to kiss me while I'm sober I'd probably tense up or try to kick your ass or something," she chuckled. "Randy would see through that in a second and we'll be a joke."

"Then maybe we need practice."

"What?"

"We need to make it look natural. So we'll practice."

"Are we teenage girls?" Kat laughed.

"You know what's at stake here," he said seriously. "Randy could be the key to both our happiness. He could get Angie back for me."

Kat stopped laughing and looked at him guiltily. He wondered how long the guilt card would last.

"I suppose... if it will help you get Angie back," she said.

He sat up and pulled her up with him. He'd kiss her before she changed her mind.

"What, now?" she frowned.

"No better time than the present," he said as he pulled her to him and put his arms around her lower back.


	20. Chapter 20

Her chest was squashed against his naked one as they knelt on the towels by the poolside. She hadn't tensed up like she had told him she would do. But she looked like she was struggling not to laugh.

"Be serious!" he told her.

"I... I'm not sure what to do with my hands," she said with a straight face before bursting out into laughter.

"I'm sure you've always wanted to say that," he snorted as he remembered that she always laughed when she watched that bit from Talladega Nights, one of her favourite movies.

And that in itself was funny because anyone looking at Kitty while she was sober wouldn't think she was a comedy fan.

"Hey, Ricky Bobby is the shit!"

"Well, this isn't comedy Kitty Kat. Be serious," he said again, this time taking her hands and putting them around his neck.

But Kat was no closer to being serious. When he lowered his head slightly to kiss her, she burst into laughter again.

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's just weird."

"Close your eyes and think of something else," he suggested. "Advice I _never_ thought I'd ever give anybody I was about to kiss."

But she laughed again.

"Think of Randy. You have to play the part right otherwise you'll never get to kiss him again. And I'll never get to kiss Angie again. Is that what you want?"

That sobered her up as she shook her head. Before she had a chance to laugh again, he swooped down on her lips.

And she tensed.

"Relax. Close your eyes," he whispered as he rained little kisses on her lips. "I'm not going to force anything on you. If you really can't then I'll stop."

He continued with the little kisses, his arms loosely around her so she wouldn't feel like he was forcing himself on her. The last thing he wanted was to lose her trust by acting like the men in her past.

"It's weird," she repeated against his lips.

"Maybe a little bit," he agreed. "But we enjoyed it the first time. If you just let yourself go, we might enjoy it again."

"What if it changes things?"

"We won't let it," he answered, pressing his lips to hers softly. "It's not the first time we've had to do something like this. How many times have you asked me to pretend to be your boyfriend when we went out so other men would stay away from you?"

"Many times," Kat whispered.

He trailed his lips gently across her jaw until he was kissing her neck.

"How many times have I had to do this?" he whispered, using the tip of his tongue to sensuously lick his way from the base of her neck to the lobe of her ear.

"Many times," she repeated.

"And this?" he asked, slowly lowering his hands until he was palming her curvy ass through her bikini bottoms.

"Many times. But this is different."

He lifted his head as he moved his hands back to her back. He didn't want to make her more uncomfortable by leaving his hands on her ass.

"Stop talking Kitty Kat. Close your damn eyes," he said firmly.

"But_"

Before she could protest anymore, he took her lips again, this time firmly using his tongue to allow himself access into her mouth. Kat tensed again only a little bit but she slowly relaxed against him when he did nothing more with his tongue than just gently stroke the top of her mouth. It wasn't long before she opened to him fully, though she wasn't kissing him back.

It was alright. They had time. And if this kiss was like the last one, then it would be well worth the wait. He hadn't forgotten how good kissing her had been the first time, how good her lips had been on his. And he hadn't forgotten how kissing her had been like a balm, soothing all the turmoil he'd felt from the moment he'd learnt the truth. He needed some of that right now, before he went crazy. He didn't want to think anymore. He didn't want to see all the pictures that had been playing on a loop in his head for the past two days. Kitty's lips would save him.

When Kat tentatively touched her tongue to his he felt a wave of relief go down is body. Gently, he took control, eagerly seeking the moment when all that horror would be pushed to the back of his mind. His tongue meshed with hers, coaxing her to respond, willing her to respond. And when she finally did, when she met him gentle stroke for gentle stroke, he let out a satisfied hum from deep within him.

With every stroke of her tongue, Grace went further and further away from his mind. With every stroke, his hurt over Angie disappeared. With every stroke, it was like none of that shit had ever happened, like she was just a girl, and he was just a guy. And before he knew it he was kissing her just because it felt so damn good. She tasted different this time. No alcohol... just Kitty Kat. It was even nicer than he remembered; the heat of her mouth drawing him closer, the taste of her pushing him to explore even further.

Like the first time, he couldn't resist taking more.

His arms tightened around her, drawing her as close as he could right up against him. A part of him registered that her little almost-naked body felt quite good against him. He had always known her skin was soft and smooth from giving her all those massages and cuddles, but having her against his body like this... it was sensory overload. It was like the way he felt when he was giving her a massage magnified a hundred times. She was soft... hot... smelled of all the afternoon sunshine... tasted better than candy... and all that skin to skin contact all at once was sending little electric shocks through his body. Urgently, he used one hand to hold her head in place, his fingers in her short, silky hair as he deepened the kiss. He left no inch of the heat of her mouth unexplored. He licked, sucked, stroked – anything to keep tasting her mouth - as he tried to fight the voice that was telling him it still wasn't enough. Kitty Kat was fragile; this was as far as he was going. This was as far as he wanted to go.

But to his delight, her hands left his neck so she could slip her fingers through his hair like he had done to hers. Then she took back control, pushing both their tongues back into his mouth before eagerly exploring it just as he had done hers.

He got more electric shocks.

And he got a sense of being steamrolled.

As Kat hungrily ate him up – because that was what she was doing; eating him up, using her tongue to create a whirl of sensations that attacked him like a force of nature – he got a feeling that he was losing control, and there was nothing he could do about it. It was like every second she kissed him she sucked out his will until he was mindlessly just rolling with the tides she was creating. All he could do was hold on tightly and enjoy the ride, a ride he had already admitted felt freaking awesome. Kat could kiss him like this any day of the week.

As she devoured his mouth, something inside him started to shake because of the force of it. It rattled. It made his nerves buzz so much that for a moment he asked himself if he should stop. But he didn't want to. Kat felt good.

A low groan escaped him, and immediately he realised he was slipping into yet another uncrossed territory, breaching yet another boundary of their friendship.

He was getting horny.

Quickly, he pulled back from her and let her go.

He cleared his throat, not meeting her eyes, as he tried to calm his panicking mind.

"I think that's enough practice for one day," he said quickly. "How about that food you offered? I'm starving."

"Um, sure," Kat said uncertainly before she stood up.

He didn't need to see her face to know she was trying to figure out what the hell happened, too.

As she walked to the house, he watched the way her ass swayed. A gentle sway, one he had noticed a long time before, when his fascination with her body had started. In fact, he had many sketches of said ass to vouch for the fact that he had always thought it was a gorgeous ass. At one point, when they'd gone out to some karaoke bar, he had actually sang the old song about how he 'liked big butts and he could not lie,' to her and then gone on to do Eminem's 'Ass like that'.

He always looked at her ass.

Sometimes he touched it.

But looking at it now had nothing to do with art.

He was checking his friend out.

Damn.

* * *

On the last night they were home, after reading bedtime stories to the boys, Kat pulled Jeff to the kitchen so they could make some snacks. They were leaving very early the next morning so they had decided to finish packing then watch a movie in her room before having an early night.

"Can you call Matt and find out what's going on?" she asked as she pulled some potato chip down from a cupboard.

Jeff had been avoiding talking about anything to do with Angie at all and she was getting frustrated because the sooner she got them back together the sooner he'd be himself again.

She loved her friend, she really did, but he had been rather clingy the last few days. She knew it wasn't because of the silly practice kiss. She should never have agreed to do it, especially since she didn't plan on going through with the whole getting Randy back thing. It had been a bit awkward when they had stopped kissing but as soon as she had brought some food out everything had been back to normal. For that she was grateful.

Not that the kiss had been awful. Far from it. She had never been kissed like that before, and she'd been kissed by quite a number of men. Jeff was an expert kisser. For a moment she had forgotten why she had been kissing her best friend and just enjoyed it. It was a different experience; quite enjoyable. Randy had concentrated more on her other assets, and he was very, very good at that but she used to wish he'd kiss her more often. Still, it was too late to wish for anything now. She wasn't about to just give in and be Randy's whore again.

"We'll just see him tomorrow, Kitty," Jeff sighed.

"I want to call him now," she said firmly.

"If there was good news, he would have called already," Jeff pointed out.

"Give me his number and I'll call him."

"Are you that eager to get rid of me, too?"

Deflated, she looked at her friend. He was leaning against the counter next to her with his hands in his jean pockets and his eyes still looking as dead as they had been the night Angie had left him.

"I'm not trying to get rid of you," she sighed. "I just feel like if Angie doesn't come back to you, you'll resent me. You won't want to be my friend anymore."

"You'll never lose me," Jeff said, pulling her into a hug while he was still leaning against the counter. "Promise."

She leaned into him as she put her arms around him, too, breathing in his familiar and comfortable scent. He couldn't promise her that. For one thing, nobody could promise that because nobody knew what the future held. For another, she was pretty certain if he ever found out about Grace, their friendship would be over.

Sighing, she lifted her head and looked up at him.

"I hope you're right Jeff," she said softly. "I don't think there's another one like you out there."

"There isn't," he smiled smugly before he sobered up and the dead look came back. "Um... I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure."

"The night we... When we argued, you thought I was going to hit you."

She didn't meet his eyes as she moved from his arms and grabbed the snacks.

"I've never pushed you to talk about anything before," Jeff continued. "But I need to know... will you ever tell me about it?"

"Probably not," she answered truthfully.

"But I'm your friend. We're closer than I've ever been with any of my other friends. And you said yourself that you trust me. So why can't you trust me with this?"

"This is basically the same conversation we had the other night. There are things I'll never ever tell anyone because they're not who I am anymore, they're not what I want to be associated with," she said.

"You think I'll see you differently if I know about your past?"

"I know you will. And if you don't, or pretend you don't, I'll always wonder if you're talking to me out of pity."

Jeff took the snacks out of her hands and put them on the counter. Then he turned her hands and brought her wrists to his lips, kissing the faint scars on them.

"I've known from the very first time I saw you - even before I saw these - that something bad happened to you. But it wasn't the sadness in your eyes that made me talk to you. It was the way just a little smile from your lips lit up a whole room. It was the way you fearlessly cut down anyone who tried to push you even if they were twice your size. It was the sound of your laughter when you thought no one was listening. It wasn't the sadness that drew me, Kitty Kat. It was the glimpse of happiness," he said, kissing her wrists again. "It was the strength. Whatever happened before, it happened _before_. I like you _now_. Nothing will change that."

She wanted to believe him but her past wasn't something she wanted to relieve ever again.

"Jeff... Let's just go finish packing."

Jeff sighed but he let her wrists go and picked up the snacks.

"Alright, but bring some beer, too. I'm not sitting through another shitty movie without killing at least half of my brain cells first."

* * *

Jeff sighed with relief when he saw his brother and Shane sitting at a booth at the back of the quiet bar. It had been a long day. A long, hard day. If he hadn't been thinking of Kat, he'd been thinking of Angie. There was no escape. His thoughts were closing in on him, making it hard to concentrate on anything. He'd lost track of time constantly and had such a completely shitty match that when he met up with Kat she'd started asking questions.

So he'd decided they would go out, because there was no way he could stay in the same room as her all night and not crack.

She had been trying to talk him out of it, telling him he needed to just rest a little bit. Maybe this was true, since he hadn't slept properly in days. But they needed to go out anyway for his plan to work, they needed more visibility. The more people talked, the more it would eat Randy up and the quicker he could stop kissing his friend and start thinking of getting Angie back. Maybe when everyone was with who they were meant to be with he would find some peace in his head.

Plus he had heard Adam saying he was meeting Randy and Cena here for a few drinks. Two birds, one stone and all that.

"It's just for a little while Kitty," he said as he pulled her forward. "And there's hardly anyone here. You just have to play girlfriend for a little while then we'll go back to our room."

He was openly sharing a room with her now while his brother roomed with Shane.

Thankfully, the whole getting horny and checking Kat out had only lasted a few minutes. He was a hot-blooded male; if any good looking woman was to kiss him like that he was bound to get horny. But that didn't mean he would act on it. That didn't mean he _wanted_ to act on it. And seeing as he planned to kiss her some more, he accepted that he was probably going to get horny again. And again. But he could take it. It was for a good cause. At the end of the day, Kitty Kat was still Kitty Kat, his best friend. He wasn't going to start getting horny everytime he saw her or anything like that.

"Hey guys," he said as he let Kat slide into the booth first before sitting down next to her.

"I'm not going to enjoy even a second of this," Kat huffed as she crossed her arms and sat back.

"Okay, dear," he said.

"I mean it. What you're trying to do is wrong. It's immoral," Kat said.

"Sure, dear," he said, this time smiling when she turned her nose up at him in irritation.

"You sound like an old married couple already," Shane chuckled.

"Don't encourage him!" Kat snapped.

Sighing, he pulled Kat closer and put his arm around her.

"You know why we're doing this."

"We don't need to, 'cause Matt's talked to Angie and everything's going to be alright," Kat said before turning hopefully to Matt and asking, "Right?"

Matt shook his head.

"She wouldn't take my calls, she wouldn't even see me," he said sadly. "I'm sorry."

He had already known that. The first thing he had done when they had checked in was to find Matt. Angie had moved back in with her parents and was adamant she wanted nothing to do with him. He was sure there was more to the story than that, maybe vicious words that had been thrown, words that Matt wasn't telling him. When he was ready he would to go home to talk to her himself.

Hence the urgency to get Randy and Kat together quickly.

He had explained part of his plan to Matt so it wouldn't seem weird when he kissed Kat. Matt still didn't understand why he had to do this, and he was certain there were going to be some really big questions in the near future, but for now Matt trusted him.

Katrina sighed.

"I need a drink," she muttered, obviously giving in to the inevitable.

He stood up so she could slide out of the booth then let his eyes follow her to the bar, a shaky sigh escaping from him. Would he ever be able to look at her without thinking about Grace?

"What's going on, Jeff?"

He remembered he wasn't alone and looked at the sharp faces of his brother and friend.

"Nothing," he muttered as he sat down again.

"Come on, Jeff. We're not stupid," Shane said.

"Please... Please stop asking," he said weakly.

Keeping it all inside was hurting him. He needed someone to talk to, and if Matt and Shane kept asking he was afraid he would reveal the secret. Then there was more chance Kitty would find out and he quite possibly wouldn't see her again.

Matt and Shane looked at him but thankfully they said nothing. Before long Kat had a bottle of whiskey and a bucket of ice on the table.

Jeff watched her pour herself one quick shot before pouring for everyone else. He breathed a sigh of relief. If she got drunk he would have a night's reprieve from her questions.

An hour later they were being entertained by the philosophies of a rather tipsy Kat.

"So I just don't get it. Do you understand where I'm coming from?" Kat asked seriously.

"No," Shane answered.

"How the hell did he walk on water to get to you guys? Dude's butt is huge; it should have sunk him right down to the ocean floor. It was a freakin' miracle."

Jeff grinned. When Kat was in this mood, she got weirder and weirder with every sip she took. She wasn't that drunk yet that she would act stupid or forget herself, she was just all relaxed and friendly.

"I'm sure it was," Shane answered with a grin of his own.

"They don't call him Superman for nothing," Kat said as she took another sip of her drink.

"I'm pretty sure you're the only one who calls him that," Matt chuckled.

"Jeff, you'll call him Superman, won't you?" Kat asked, putting her arms around him.

"If you want me to," he smiled.

"See, that's why you're my boyfriend," Kitty grinned.

This Kitty Kat didn't think pretending to be his girlfriend was 'immoral'. She was actually getting a kick out of it.

"We're out of drink. I'm going to get us some more," Matt said as he slid out of the booth, with Shane following to help.

"How am I doing?" Kitty asked.

"You're doing fine," he said, "though it wouldn't hurt you to kiss me a little bit. We need practice, remember?"

"I promised I wouldn't laugh again!" Kat whined.

"Well, I don't believe you. So kiss me."

Kat rolled her eyes but pulled his head down until he met her lips.

There was no laughter this time.

* * *

Matt frowned as he watched the kissing pair. He didn't understand their plan. If word got round to Maria, surely it would find a way to get back to Angie, too. And there was no one else in the little hotel bar now so why were they kissing?

"Is it just me or does it look like they're enjoying themselves way too much?" Shane asked beside him.

Matt let out a breath. He'd suspected something before when Jeff had got jealous about him and Shane making plans with Kat, and the time they'd been on the dance floor when they'd been something that he quite couldn't put his finger on about their relationship. But he couldn't see it now. This was different.

Jeff was acting on some sort of fear. Or some sort of pain. And it wasn't the pain of losing Angie

"I have no idea what's going on, Shane."

"Did you see the way he keeps looking at her? You think maybe she's dying or something?" Shane asked.

"I think Jeff would have told us if it was anything that serious."

Wouldn't he?

He turned around to pay for their drinks, a frown on his face as he wondered if what his brother was hiding was indeed about death. When he had told Jeff the news about Angie, he'd just sighed and shrugged. He'd already known that Angie wasn't at the forefront of his thoughts at the moment but seeing Jeff's reaction had worried him. What the hell was going on?

"Shane!"

They both turned around to see Kat now sitting astride Jeff but pointing excitedly at the entrance.

"It's a bird... It's a plane... No, it's Superman!" she said with a huge grin on her face.

And sure enough, Cena had just walked through the door. Behind him were Adam and Randy. He let out a disgusted snort when he saw Maria with Eve trailing in too.

"Over here," Kat called, inviting the group to their booth.

Either she hadn't noticed anyone other than 'Superman', or she was too drunk to care. He hoped it was the latter, because he had a feeling Jeff's plan wouldn't work if she caused a scene.

"Looks like the party's just beginning," Shane muttered.


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you for the reviews. Love you all. Hope you enjoy this one**.

Randy stopped at the entrance of the bar, making his friends stop, too.

He'd been plagued by images of Jeff and Kat together the past few days at home, only to come face to face with this on his very first night back.

"Look at that. Have they no shame?" Maria said in disgust.

He turned back to look at her. What was she even doing here? The whole reason he had agreed to meet Adam here was so he could hunt down Katrina but at the last minute, literally downstairs in the lobby of their hotel, Maria and Eve had decided they were coming, too. He could tell the boys weren't too happy about it either. John was always courteous and he didn't like the fact that he cheated on Maria only because he didn't like cheating, not because he liked Maria. Adam didn't like Maria at all because, if the rumours were true, he'd already been there, done that.

"If you're going to stay with us you better shut your damn mouth," he growled. "All of this is your fault."

He didn't mean the Angie stuff. He had planned all of that. He meant Katrina leaving him in the first place. If Maria hadn't wormed her way into becoming his girlfriend – though at the time it had been necessary – he wouldn't be in this mess. He would never have had to choose. And he wouldn't now be contemplating using foul means to get her back.

"Don't talk to me like that!" Maria gasped.

"Well, go somewhere else then," he said irritably. "I came here to spend time with my friends; I spent enough time with you at home."

Though it could be argued that after that phone call to Katrina, he'd been worse company than usual. He was quite surprised Maria hadn't just broken up with him and called off the engagement. Surprised but thankful. It was becoming harder and harder to play 'loving boyfriend', something he needed to do until she said the words 'I do'. He still needed to marry her, though. But if he didn't fix things tonight with Katrina there was a very good chance Maria would have enough of his foul mood and walk out.

"Well, I think you haven't spent enough time with me," Maria stated, then gave him one of her irritating little smiles. "The wedding is in a few months. We can't fight now, baby."

He felt a shudder go through his body. He'd felt it ever since a date had been set everytime someone mentioned the word 'wedding'. It was making him sick.

But not as sick as he felt watching Katrina all over Jeff, sliding onto his lap for more intimacy; eating him up like he was food. Jeff was urgently gripping Katrina's ass, probably pulling her down onto his dick like he would have done in that position.

_Remember when she used to ride you like that, Randall? Remember how her crack vagina would just swallow you up and you'd lose control? Oh, the good old days..._

He couldn't be here. He didn't trust himself not to give himself away.

_But it will be so amusing Randall. Just sit down and say, 'Maria, this is the woman I love fucking. She's not as cold as you. Actually, she's not frigid at all.'_

He growled. He needed to get himself under control. He was about to make his excuses and walk away when he heard Katrina calling out.

"It's a bird... it's a plane... it's Superman!"

"I believe we've caught her at a good time," John said with a grin.

"Over here," Katrina called again.

When John started moving forward he panicked again. His friends had no idea what he and Maria had done; how he had lured Angie to his room just so Maria could do what she did best – talk nonstop about things she really had no clue about. He and Maria wouldn't be welcome at that table.

He hung back a little bit but couldn't think of an excuse to absent himself. Maria didn't seem to have such a problem. She strode forward with John like she was the one who'd been invited to the table.

Sighing, he followed. This was going to be a disaster.

Randy watched John sit down at the end of the booth where, thankfully, Katrina had gotten off Jeff's lap. Jeff cleared his throat and was looking rather uncomfortable as he took a mouthful of his drink. He didn't need to wonder why. It would take the man a while to recover from Katrina's touch. He remembered that after meeting up with Katrina, he would imagine he could still feel the heat of her body even days afterwards, making the wait till the next meeting rather unbearable.

He watched her hug John rather enthusiastically. She didn't seem to have even noticed him as she gushed over John. Maybe she was drunk. Maybe she wouldn't notice him and Maria at all. Maybe this night wouldn't be such a disaster after all.

He pulled two chairs to the table for himself and Maria while Eve and Adam slid into the booth, too. He could have sat anywhere else in the empty bar, really. He should have. But he seemed to be a glutton for punishment where Katrina was involved. He had no idea why Eve and Maria hadn't sat somewhere else because it was quite obvious they didn't like Katrina. They had their noses turned up at her like she was some disgusting shit they had trod on. His anger welled up. Maria had no right whatsoever treating Katrina like that.

_Oooh! Are we going to finally choose now? The cold bitch or the crack vagina? Are we going to cause a scene? _

On hearing that irritating voice he calmed himself down. He'd already chosen. Maria had been his ticket to his father's heart again. He wasn't going to mess that up.

Jeff didn't greet him and Maria like he had done Adam and John. He met the green eyes and they blazed angrily at him. He didn't look away. Jeff had no right to be angry. If anything, it was Katrina he should have been mad at for spreading lies in the first place. And instead of leaving Katrina alone, ending their friendship like he should have done, he was now sleeping with her. How in the world was that logical? What the hell was he thinking?

Matt and Shane came to join them. He could feel the anger emanating from them but for some reason they chose to ignore the matter as they sat in the remaining seats. As far as he knew, while he had already had a few words with Jeff since the Angie incident, no one had yet to speak to Maria about it. He really didn't want to be there when that happened.

"We could have sat somewhere else, you know," Maria whispered to him.

"I'm not stopping you."

The dumb woman didn't seem to realise he actually meant it. Like she hadn't noticed he'd meant every snide or nasty thing he'd said to her the whole time they had been home. Or she had but she just didn't give a shit. Which lead him to wonder again why exactly she was marrying him, since it wasn't for sex or money. And thankfully not for love, either.

"You're awesome," Katrina said.

For a moment he thought she was talking to him but she was smiling up at John, hanging onto his arm like some star-struck kid.

"Why, thank you," John said with a chuckle.

"I was just telling these guys how awesome you are," Katrina said.

"I believe she said something like, 'It's a wonder you didn't sink with a butt that huge'," Shane added.

Adam burst out laughing, oblivious to the tensions running riot around the table.

"It's true. That's what makes you so awesome. You just do what you need to do despite the hugeness of your behind," Katrina said.

Adam laughed again and he thought he saw a grin on Shane's face. But Matt was still just looking down at his glass while Eve was openly looking at him. He wasn't quite sure why Eve had tagged along. He'd thought maybe she had now set her sight on Adam, but it was clearly not the case.

Was Katrina drunk? He frowned as he looked at her closely and realised that she was. That would make her more likely to say something about their relationship to Maria because alcohol loosened tongues. He should have taken Maria out of there but he couldn't move. Katrina held a certain appeal, a certain pull he couldn't fight. He'd stopped questioning himself why. The answer was quite obvious: Katrina was the one who got away and his ego couldn't allow that. He'd spent the last few days trying not to kill someone because of what he knew she and Hardy were doing. He couldn't allow that to happen again. By the end of tonight, both Jeff and Katrina would be left with no doubts about that.

"Gee, thanks!" John snorted. "I happen to like my butt."

"So do I!" Katrina gushed. "Isn't it nice that we have things in common?"

"Careful John," Maria said. "She might sink her claws into you next. You know her type."

Randy frowned and looked at his future wife. Katrina was good enough for him to sleep with, so that made her better than a lot of people, even if it didn't make her good enough to marry. That was just the way it was. Maria needed to just shut the hell up before she started something that would end in complete disaster for everyone.

"No, Maria, I don't know her type," John said, the laughter leaving his face. "Care to enlighten me?"

It was quite possible that the few times Katrina had hung out with John and Adam they had formed some sort of genuine friendship. He didn't like it. He'd never had such a relationship with her; they'd never talked or joked around. Their conversations had always been about fucking - when he was fucking her next; how he was fucking her; if he could fuck her quickly in his locker room before anyone noticed... shit like that.

"Oh, come on. It's quite obvious she's only after one thing," Eve put in. "Just like all the other ring rats out there."

He glared at Eve. He had no problems dealing with Eve. He wasn't marrying her and he had no intention of ever sleeping with her. The bitch had absolutely no reason to be here anyway.

"Funny how all the guys say that about you. Unless you want me to deal with this personally, I suggest you shut your damn mouth," he said coldly.

Eve looked him in the eye but only briefly. Noone could ever meet his gaze for too long when he was angry. Hopefully that got the message across. When Katrina had been unknown, he'd never had to deal with such bullshit; people talking shit about her and such. It was strange to discover he didn't like it. It was strange to admit he felt enough about her for this to matter.

When he looked away from Eve, it was to find John looking at him thoughtfully. He looked away quickly.

"What's everyone having?" he asked as he called over a waiter, hoping to get himself out of the spotlight.

As everyone gave their orders, he took a quick look at Katrina. It was quite possible the whole conversation had flown over her head. She was still holding onto John, still smiling at him. She really was quite pretty when she smiled.

Someone cleared their throat, distracting him. It was John. And looking at his friend, he realised there was a very big chance that the jig was up.

"Maybe we should go somewhere else," Matt suggested, frowning, his black mood quite evident as he looked at Eve then at him and Maria.

"I agree," Shane added.

"Don't be silly. Superman is here," Katrina said. "You don't want to go, do you baby?"

She turned to Jeff as she asked this and he was quite shocked to realise the man's gaze hadn't actually left him since he'd sat down.

"No, I don't," Jeff answered.

He met the gaze head on. But he had to look away when Jeff smirked then placed a kiss on Katrina's lips. Well, he could enjoy it while he could. Katrina wouldn't be kissing him for much longer.

"Jeff is a fan of yours, too. Tell him, Jeff," Katrina said, turning back to John.

John, who was still looking at him. What was with these people today?

"Big fan," Jeff answered.

"This is ridiculous," Maria muttered.

Randy bit his jaw. He'd almost forgotten that woman was there.

"Did you all hear this year's Christmas party might be themed?" Katrina continued. "We should suggest a superhero theme. Can we go as your sidekicks? We could be Superman and... I don't know, maybe Batman and Catwoman."

She said this as she enthusiastically grabbed Jeff's arm as well. John grinned at her. Randy frowned. He supposed hanging out with Katrina could be enjoyable if he was into that kind of thing.

"I don't think you'll be getting an invitation to that one," Maria sneered. "They don't normally allow ring rats to attend."

Again with the insults! Didn't the woman realise they were sitting in gasoline already? Light a match why don't you, Maria?

"I should hope not! You know how much it would cost to feed rats?" Katrina said seriously before frowning slightly and looking at John. "Wait. We have rats under the ring?"

John put his arm around her shoulders, frowning at Maria.

"Don't mind her," he said. "So are you going to the party?"

"I don't know. The type of shit they'll want me to wear costs a lot of money_"

"Oh, here we go. I bet you by the time she's finished talking, all of you here would have offered to buy her a dress and pay her rent for the year," Maria cut in. "What is she even doing here? Matt, I'm really surprised. After what she did to your brother you'd share a drink with her? You encourage that sort of behaviour?"

What the _hell_ was wrong with the stupid woman? Before he could tell her to just go back to the hotel before it all kicked off, Katrina spoke up.

"Ho, I'm mad at you already. I don't know if you're too dumb to notice this but the place is fucking empty. You could have sat anywhere else. So either move the fuck away or back the fuck off and shut up before I hurt you. You're killing my damn buzz. Someone pour me another drink."

The sensible part of him told him to take his mouthy future wife out now, before she ruined all his plans. But he ignored that part, listening instead to the voice that always got him into trouble.

_Ding, ding, ding! _

* * *

Kat had been trying really hard since Randy walked in with Maria to ignore them. She was pretty sure Jeff hadn't briefed her on what to do in this situation and the last thing she wanted to do was something that would jeopardise his stupid plan and ruin hers to actually get Angie back for him.

She accepted the drink Shane had poured for her and took a large mouthful. She got on well with people she didn't like when she was drunk, hopefully that meant she'd get on with two-faced, irritating, bitches who stuck their noses where they didn't belong, too.

"No, I'm not going to shut up about this. You shouldn't even be showing your face around here. What you did was disgusting. What you're still doing is disgusting."

"And you came here from your hotel just to tell me this? Have you really got nothing better to do? Is your life that boring that you have to mess with mine? That you would make a fool of yourself arguing about things that only happened in your head? I was feeling sorry for you but now I see it's poor Randy who's in for a marriage from hell," she snorted.

She noticed Randy couldn't hide a grin at that. Maybe there was trouble in paradise after all but it wasn't her business anymore. And she was still way too sober for this conversation.

"You're just jealous because noone's ever going to ask the likes of you to marry them," Maria sneered, waving her engagement ring.

That was probably true but the bitch had no right saying it.

"I don't think you understood me the first time, Maria. People can talk shit about me all they want, like that immature woman right there," she said, indicating Eve who'd thankfully been quiet since Randy had told her to be. "But you... You crossed a line. You messed with Jeff and that's a big no. So unless you want me to deal with that now and show you just how pissed off with you I am, back-the-fuck-off."

Maria laughed like she had said something funny. Her hand tightened around her glass, wishing it was Maria's neck until Jeff put his hand over it and loosened it.

"She's not worth it," he said quietly.

"Oh, that's where you're wrong Jeff. She _is_ worth it."

Jeff was her family, like Hunter and the rest of those guys – even Shawn, and she'd never liked people messing with the people she loved.

"Look at the size of you. What could you possibly do to me, a trained wrestler?" Maria laughed.

"You call that wrestling? I could teach you a thing or two," she said. "I don't wrestle. I fight."

"Kat," Jeff said, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her back against him. She had a feeling she was being restrained. "Let's just go back to our room."

"Jeff_"

"Look at me," Jeff ordered.

She finally took her eyes off Maria to do as she was told. Jeff's eyes were begging her to listen to him. She sighed. If Jeff's plan worked, she would be laughing in the bitch's face anyway because she would have taken her man. Maybe she could cool it. Just until all of this was over, of course. Then she could whip that dumb woman's butt till she was satisfied.

"Let's go," he repeated.

She placed her palm on his cheek and then nodded her head. She didn't like ugly confrontations anyway. She had had enough of those over the past few years.

"You don't have to go. Maria and Eve were just leaving," Randy said quickly, pulling out something from his pocket.

She frowned when she realised he'd taken out money and his room key and placed them in front of Maria.

"Randy_" Maria started, a confused frown on her features.

"You don't want to ruin anybody's night, do you?" Randy cut in, not even looking at Maria. "Now apologise to Katrina and be on your way."

"I'm not going to apologise!" Maria said, incensed.

Then Randy finally turned to look at Maria. His eyes looked so cold she actually felt a little bit sorry for Maria. How could anyone want to marry anyone who looked at them like that? Wasn't marriage supposed to be about love and warmth and all that?

"I mean it, Maria. Apologise. Then take your friend with you and let these people enjoy their night out."

There was silence while the two of them stared each other down. Then finally Maria let out a breath, put a fake smile on her lips and turned her head to look at her.

"I'm sorry," Maria said with difficulty. "If you'll excuse me, I'll just go powder my nose while I call a cab. Are you coming, Eve?"

She was still frowning as she watched the women make their way to the Ladies' room. Noone said a word but she would have bet anything that they were all wondering what the hell had happened, too. Had Randy really made his fiancé apologise to her – the woman he said was filth? Had he really taken her side instead of the woman he was going to marry? And he wasn't even going back to the hotel with her, to try to sweeten her up or apologise? There definitely seemed to be no love lost there, like she had accused him of before. She had to wonder why he was marrying her in the first place.

It didn't matter. She'd already made up her mind to let go of him.

"Um... yeah. I need to pee, too," Kat said. "Or should I also say 'powder my nose' even though it's quite obvious I haven't got powder? Excuse me, Superman."

John didn't move but he looked at Jeff for confirmation.

"Can't you wait till they come out?" Jeff asked.

"When you gotta go, you gotta go. Don't make me piss myself, man," she lied.

She was pretty sure those words would never come out of Maria's mouth. Maybe Randy had a point after all.

"Hold it," Jeff said firmly.

"I've _been_ holding it. I'll go to the filthy men's room. You can come with me," she said, adding a little urgent bouncing in her seat for good measure.

"If you hurt her_"

"Like she said. Look at the size of me. What could I possibly do to those two women?"

Jeff sighed, and nodded his head but she had a feeling he knew what her intentions were.

"Such a controlling boyfriend," she muttered as John finally stood up to let her out. "I need permission to relieve myself. Maria and I should start a club – 'The Bullied Women Association' – and compare notes on whose boyfriend sucks more."

She was still talking to herself when she got to the toilets. She looked back only once to see they were all watching her. Smiling at them, she nipped into the men's room as she had said. She'd wait a minute then nip next door. All she wanted was little word with Maria. Hopefully they wouldn't see her.

* * *

"Okay, what the fuck is going on here?" Adam asked as soon as Kat disappeared into the men's room.

Jeff sat back in his chair, not taking his eyes off the door Kat had disappeared through. She was up to something. He could feel it. The night had been screwed from the moment Maria showed up.

"Nothing," Randy answered.

Jeff grunted in wry amusement. Nothing? His whole body was tense because he could feel they were on the brink of a battle. He knew from their numerous conversations and demonstrations that Kitty Kat could fight, but if Maria hurt just one hair on her head there was going to be hell to pay. He'd always been protective of her but lately, since the revelation, he was well aware that protectiveness had gone into overdrive.

"Okay. Obviously you don't agree, Jeff. Care to enlighten us?" John said, turning in his seat to face him.

"What's happening, John, is that things are about to get very ugly. See, my girlfriend is very bitter about something. And now Maria is very bitter about something. And we all know Eve is just bitter. So now three very bitter women are about to come face to face."

"So if they're going to fight, why are we just sitting here?" Shane asked. "Katrina might get hurt."

He looked at Shane in mock disgust.

"Don't be fooled by her size, Shane. My kitty Kat has claws. Ask Matt."

"I still don't understand what the bitterness is about," Adam said. "Dude, what was that with Maria? And what did you do to make everyone so mad?"

Randy didn't even bother answering. He took a sip of his drink and turned his head to look back at the doors.

Jeff grunted again.

"Shut up," Randy growled, turning back to look at him.

"What did I say?" he asked.

He grinned. Obviously he wasn't going to tell everybody what Randy and Kat had been doing the past few months, especially with Adam there. There were already rumours going around about her part in his breakup with Angie and the last thing he wanted was for this to come out, too. She'd be labelled a whore and he didn't want that, not when he now knew about Grace.

"What I don't get though is how you could be so stupid as to sit here, at our table, like everything's right your world," Matt said.

Randy locked gazes with Matt for a moment. The tension rose a few more notches.

"Guys, come on," John said. "Cool it."

"Did you make a move on Katrina?" Adam asked gleefully. "Then she shot you down and told Jeff, didn't she? That's why everyone's so mad?"

"Will everyone just shut up? I didn't make a move on anyone. Maria said some nasty things to Jeff's girlfriend about Katrina and Jeff and she left him. That's why everyone's angry."

"Those rumours going around? And you were there? Why didn't you correct her?" John asked with a frown.

How ironic. John was just a colleague, but even he knew he would never cheat. Angie should have trusted him, too.

Randy was saved from answering when they noticed Kat slipping into the Ladies'.

* * *

Randy was first on the scene. He burst into the Ladies' and stopped in his tracks when he saw Katrina face to face with Maria. His first thought was that she had revealed their secret, that all his hard work had been for nothing and there wouldn't be a wedding in a couple of months. But Maria didn't look at him accusingly or declare she was through with him. She just stood there, next to Eve, smirking down at Katrina. He felt like just dragging her out of there by her hair.

"Watch your back," Katrina said. "You messed up Maria. I'm not going to get you tonight. But I _will_ get you. This ain't over just because you gave me some lame ass apology."

She was shorter than Maria and Eve, but he had to believe Jeff when he said Katrina had claws. She was tough. Tough enough to handle all the stuff he liked doing to her when they fucked. And someone had to be really tough for that.

The rest of the guys burst in at that moment but Katrina didn't relax her stance. She was like a little Pitbull defending her territory and it sort of galled him that the only reason she was doing this was because she was defending Jeff. Jeff, the man she had been sleeping with. Jeff, the man she had left him for.

He bit his jaw to control his anger.

"Break it up," Jeff said, coming forward to pull Katrina back, his hands around her waist.

Katrina didn't resist but she didn't take her eyes off Maria as Jeff took her to the furthest corner of the room.

"Oh, come on! Let's see where this is going," Adam said.

They all turned to look at him but Adam just shrugged.

"What?" he asked.

"Aww. You got all your men to back you up?" Maria said. "You're right. This isn't over. Find me when you don't have your guard dogs."

Katrina made a move to attack but Jeff easily held her back.

"Maria, maybe you should go and check if your cab is here."

"Don't worry, Randy. I don't want to be here anymore. But answer this; are you really going to stay here without me?" Maria asked.

She turned to look at him, the look in her eyes very serious. This was what he had been afraid of, that Maria would start asking the right questions, questions that would possibly ruin their engagement. Right. It was time for some damage control.

"Let's talk outside," he suggested, taking her hand to lead her away from everybody else.

"How could you do that to me? How could you embarrass me like that in front of everyone?" Maria asked as soon as the door closed behind them. She took her hand out of his and folded her arms across her chest.

"Maria, we've caused enough trouble as it is. There's no need to cause some more or involve other people in it," he explained.

"The girl is a nobody. What does it matter what I say or do to her?"

"She's got friends in high places. We don't want to go there."

"You mean Hunter? The man she's also sleeping with?"

Okay, where did this girl get her information? The WWE Rumour Mill was seriously warped! Once they were married he'd force her to curb this useless habit.

"Don't be stupid," he said. "Just don't cause any more trouble, okay? You know any simple thing can destroy us, it's a tenuous business."

"You practically carry the business. You're not going anywhere," Maria said, waving it off. "That girl, though, is expendable. If she causes trouble, surely Hunter and Steph will choose the Superstars over her."

He was too tired for this shit. If Maria chose to believe rumours, who was he to stop her? Maybe his married life would be better if she got herself fired and he was on the road by himself three hundred plus days of every year.

_Conniving bastard. I like you sometimes._

And maybe he would stop hearing voices in his head if he wasn't under so much stress!

"Babe, please. Do it for me," he said, taking her hand again. "I'm sorry I spoke to you like that, I'm sorry I've been a pain lately but I'm under a lot of pressure and I really don't need this on top of it as well."

Maria pouted but he could tell he had won. He almost let out a sigh of relief but held himself.

"Oh, alright," she said, "but do you need to stay here? You could come with me and we could have an early night."

He shuddered. Lately even the thought of touching his fiancé was also doing that to him.

"The boys and I have things we need to do. If you have a problem with us being here, we'll go somewhere else," he lied.

Maria sighed just as Eve and the rest of the guys walked out of the Ladies' room.

"No. I trust you," she said. "I'll see you later then."

"Let me walk you to your cab," he offered.

He was suddenly in a better mood.

It only took a minute to have her in a cab and safely out of the way. Then he made his way back to the quiet bar. He almost walked to the table when he noticed Katrina wasn't there. Everyone else was there though, talking amongst themselves, evidently more carefree than when Maria and Eve had been there.

On a hunch, he made his way back to the Ladies' room, careful not to be noticed. And he found Katrina in there, drying her hands with her back to him. For a moment he watched her. What was it with this woman? Why did she have to be such hard work? Why had she suddenly decided to change the rules on them? They'd been so good together – better than good. They'd been perfect. Sleeping with her had been perfect. For all his years and all his experience, sex with Katrina was the best.

When she finally turned to leave, she noticed him and stopped in her tracks.

"Randy! What are you doing in here?" she asked.

His eyes travelled the length of her body, heating up as he remembered the feel of her soft skin on his. He took a step forward, and another, smiling when she predictably stepped back against the sink and trapped herself. He didn't leave her with any doubt about what he was doing there.

"Please don't," she whispered.

But there was no way in hell he was going to be denied any longer.

A few more steps had him right up against her body as he urgently lifted her up onto the counter and pressed himself between her legs. Then he brought his lips down and tasted his nirvana, groaning with pleasure when her lips easily parted beneath his.

For this, he would say anything, promise anything.

"Randy... I can't..."

"Yes, you can. You still love me, Katrina," he whispered against her lips. "And I think I'm in love with you, too."

For this, he would lie.

After all, he only had a couple of months until she realised he'd been talking crap just to fuck her again; until the day he said the words that would bind him to Maria.


	22. Chapter 22

Kat had missed this. In her tipsy state, that was all she could think of. Randy's hard body pressed up to hers, her breast squashed against his chest, tingling as they became more sensitised with each passing second. And of course the hard length of him pressed between her legs. It was a pity they both had jeans on. Maybe Randy had been right to ask her to be more feminine. If she's had a skirt on, she'd would have undone his zip and had him right there.

His mouth left hers to kiss her neck as one of his hands undid the buttons of her shirt, making her blood rush to her ears. It didn't take long for him to unhook her bra and put his lips on her breast, licking and sucking it the way only he knew how.

"God, I missed you!" Randy growled as his hand urgently went down to the zip of her jeans. "Tell me you missed me, too."

She moaned as his fingers slipped into her panties. He had long fingers. He had really good fingers.

"Yes," she moaned.

His finger slid easily into her.

"Fuck..." she whispered, tightening her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist so she could impale herself deeper.

"That's it baby," Randy whispered as he added another finger. "Work yourself on me. Lose control. I love it when you do that."

There was something she needed to remember but Randy lowered his head to her breast again and it completely flew her mind. With another moan, she held his head in place and started moving on his fingers.

"Don't stop," she begged.

"I won't. I'll never stop. You're mine, Katrina."

He pushed his fingers deeper as he said that, making her release a little scream of pure ecstasy. Then he did it again. And again.

"I'm not giving you up to anyone, Katrina. _Anyone_."

The way he said that had faint bells ringing in her head. He wasn't giving her up... Jeff would have something to say about that.

Jeff...

Jeff!

Her eyes snapped open as realised what she was doing. Jeff would kill her! Then the words he had said before he'd distracted her with the taste of his mouth and his long fingers penetrated her foggy head. He thought he was in love with her? What the fuck?

"Stop," she said, pushing his hand away.

"What? Why?" Randy asked, his lips still working on her breasts.

He was so good at that. So, so good. But she had to remember why she had left him in the first place. She would never be anybody's whore again.

She pushed him away with all her strength so he stumbled back.

"Dude. You think you love me? You think I was born this morning?" she snapped as she got off the counter and angrily zipped her jeans back up and started doing up her buttons.

"Katrina_"

"Shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear one more word from you. What you just tried to do was stupid. You're as stupid as your little skanky fiancé," she said angrily as she finished straightening her clothes.

"I'm not playing games anymore, Katrina," Randy said, moving forward to try to take her into his arms again. "You were right about how I feel about Maria. I don't love her."

"And yet here you are, still getting married to her," she said, pushing him away again.

"I'm going to finish it with her. I need a little bit of time," Randy said urgently as he blocked her exit. "There are other people involved now; her family and mine. Our mothers are excited about it because they're the ones we've left in charge of getting everything done. I have to find a way to break it to them gently."

She looked at him for a moment. He looked a little sincere but she couldn't trust him. Jeff was right about him. He didn't love her. If he did, Maria wouldn't even be an issue.

"Don't cancel your wedding over me," she told him.

"I'm doing everything you asked me to do!" Randy continued, still blocking her. "I _am_ cancelling my wedding. I've chosen you. I've chosen you, Katrina. Please don't walk away from me."

She shook her head sadly.

"It was wrong of me to give you that stupid ultimatum," she admitted. "You've got plans for your life that never included me and I should have just accepted that."

"The plans for my life have included you from the moment I met you," Randy said.

He was saying everything right, everything she wanted to hear and it was breaking her heart. Why was he playing with her like this?

"Look, if you're not happy with Maria then go ahead, cancel your wedding. But you don't love me, Randy, so don't even insult my intelligence. I might be slightly drunk but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. Have a good life."

When she pushed him out of the way he moved aside easily this time. She didn't look back as she walked quickly to the table where Jeff was sitting with the rest of the guys.

"Jeff, I want to go now."

Jeff stopped talking and stood up immediately, his face concerned as he came to her side.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I need to go."

She didn't want to give Randy the satisfaction of seeing her break down.

Jeff looked at her face, then his jaw slightly dropped as he looked her up and down her body. She didn't know how but he'd always been able to tell when she'd been with Randy.

His face hardened and she saw so much anger in his emerald eyes just before he turned around to head to the Ladies'.

"Jeff, don't..."

But he wasn't listening. She turned to look at the other occupants of the booth helplessly. She really couldn't handle any more drama tonight.

"What's wrong, Kat?" Matt asked frowned, standing up to come to her side while he looked in the direction Jeff had gone.

Before she could say anything, Jeff stormed back out of the toilets, clenching and unclenching his fist and his face still murderous. He didn't say a word to anybody as he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the bar. And he didn't say a word to her the whole ride up the elevator. She could understand his anger; she was angry with herself too. She should never have allowed Randy to go as far as he had. She should never have let him touch her at all.

She'd expected Jeff to blow up the second they were in private but all he did was declare he needed a cigarette and walk out to the balcony.

She frowned. It wasn't like him to hold back. She had potentially messed up his whole plan and he hadn't said a word.

When he hadn't come back in a few minutes later she walked to the glass doors and stood watching him for a moment. He still looked angry. And sad. Just as sad as he had been from the time Angie had left him.

Sighing, she walked out to stand next to him, lighting a cigarette of her own.

"Did he kiss you?" Jeff asked after a while.

"Yes."

"Did he...? Did you guys...?"

She knew what he was asking.

"No. Not really."

Jeff turned to look at her sharply.

"What do you mean by that? Did you blow him?"

She frowned. Well, she wasn't going to give him details, was she?

"You better not have. You kiss me with that mouth!"

"Jeff, I'm sorry I ruined your plan. I'll find another way to get Angie back, I promise."

"This isn't about Angie!" Jeff snapped, then he seemed to regret it as he mumbled an apology and lit another smoke.

She frowned.

"If it's not about Angie, then what is it about?"

* * *

He'd forgotten about the plan the second he'd realised Randy had touched his Kitty Kat. It was the ultimate goal, of course, to have Katrina back with Randy, but that was for some day in the future, when he'd have adjusted; when he'd have got it in his head that not every man was going to hurt her like she'd been hurt in the past. And at that moment, all Randy was going to do was hurt her.

He'd been so angry with her, he still was, but he couldn't bring himself to shout at her. He'd never shout at her again.

"It's about making sure Randy never treats you like shit again," he answered. "And you letting him touch you..."

It made his blood boil.

Part of him wondered if it was also because he wasn't quite ready to stop kissing her. She was quite good at that. Really good. Back at the bar, she'd floored him again by showing him just how good at it she was. It had been quite a struggle to calm himself down. He hadn't really wanted to stop. He hadn't wanted to come back to the reality he was being forced to face now.

"Jeff, I don't think he's going to do what you want him to do, anyway," Kat said. "I'll never ever be what he wants. I told him that he had to just accept that I wanted nothing to do with him, I think he'll listen this time."

At that moment he was more than willing to stop trying to get her and Randy together. Randy was a dick and always would be. But part of him registered that if he stopped trying to get Randy back for her, he'd have to stop kissing her, too. And he'd already admitted he wasn't ready to do that.

"He's not going to stop," he predicted.

He was very grateful that Randy was a pig headed prick. He wouldn't stop chasing Katrina until he got what he wanted. Maybe her kissing him was a good thing in that aspect, because it had to make Randy's situation worse that he'd tasted her but hadn't had her, right?

Unless he'd had something else.

He frowned.

He'd never asked for details of their sex life before and it bugged him that he'd asked her now. But something in him wanted to know just how far Randy had got. Enough to satisfy him for a little while? She hadn't answered his question about blowing him, maybe she had.

He frowned again.

"I think he will," Katrina said, bringing him back to the conversation as she blew out the last of her smoke. "It doesn't matter. What matters if that next week we're going to be in North Carolina, and I'm going to get Angie back for you."

He looked at her sharply.

Next _week_?

Oh, no, no, no! He still wouldn't be ready to give Angie his full attention.

"We had a deal_"

"Yeah. You'll only let me talk to Angie if I let you get Randy back for me," she repeated. "But don't you understand, Jeff. It hurts. It hurts that he doesn't want me like that, no matter what I try. I don't want to keep putting myself through that."

"He does want you like that. Trust me, he does," he said, turning to face her fully.

Someone didn't get obsessed with sleeping with someone that badly if there were no feelings involved. And since just kissing Kat was awesome, something told him actually making love to her would be off the charts. If he was Randy, he wouldn't want to let go of that either. So Randy would come around eventually. Hopefully. If he didn't, he'd make him.

Katrina sighed and turned to him, too.

"I'm tired. I think I'll turn in," she said.

"Trying to rest up for when you go fuck Maria up?" he grinned.

"Not funny," she snapped. "That woman is just all kinds of nastiness; she should never have told Angie rumours."

"You're not angry with her because she's with Randy?" he questioned.

"Of course not. I'm angry because if she hadn't opened her big mouth, you wouldn't be so sad," Kat said as she came into his arms for a hug.

If Maria hadn't opened her mouth, he would never have found out about Grace, either. Even though the knowledge was weighing down on him, unbearably so, he was glad he knew.

"I kinda like you defending my honour," he smiled as he kissed the top of her head then released her.

"You coming in?" she asked.

"Not right now. I might have another smoke then watch a bit of TV."

"'Night, then," she said, disappearing into their room.

When he finally walked in, it was to find her fast asleep already. He made himself a drink and set it down on a table. With a sigh, he found his bag and dug to the bottom of it. He hadn't been able to even look at Amazing Grace without hurting. But if he was to be any good to Katrina, he had to know the rest of the story.

oOo

_I bled for days. Part of me thought I was bleeding out and would finally meet the death I had been graving for so long. But of course, I wasn't that lucky._

_I was in so much pain that I couldn't move from the bed, like a nasty man had scrapped my insides with a giant rusty hook. Oh, wait... As soon as the Butcher left, Mother became nastier than usual. She left me lying in my own blood. She brought me no food, not even water. And I couldn't even move to go to the bathroom. Even with all the things I'd had to do in my life, in that moment that humiliated me the most. Mother shouted at me for ruining my mattress, like it had been my idea to abort my baby then lie in my filth._

_My baby..._

_Just thinking of that hurt. It hurt more than the physical pain. My baby had been my reason. My reason to get clean, my reason to get out, my reason to better myself. My baby had been my reason to live. My baby would have saved me. I know it sounds wrong, because a baby doesn't solve problems and it would have been wrong to bring one up in my situation. But you need to understand that before the pregnancy I'd had nothing; no hope, no future, nothing. I was messed up on drugs and so low in and ocean of depression that I saw no way of getting out of. I hadn't allowed myself to think of my friend in years, and even if I had, there was no way I was turning up on his doorstep like that. _

_The baby had been my reason._

_And it was gone._

_So I had no reason._

_No reason for being. No reason at all._

_I had been clean for the few days since finding out I'd been pregnant. That alone had showed my commitment to be the best damn mother that ever walked the earth because I hadn't gone longer that a couple of hours without a hit in years. Lying in my blood and my filth, withdrawal hit me hard and there was nothing I could do about it. My mother refused to score any for me and she refused to share some of hers. And she took whatever money I had so I couldn't have bought any, anyway. I was being punished. Withdrawal is a bitch. My mother is a bitch._

_Because of the pain, I slipped in and out of consciousness. Before I closed my eyes I would think, 'This is it. I'm dying now. I'm free.' But of course, an hour or two later, my eyes would open again. At the end of the second full day, I forced myself to move. I was obviously not dying and the longer I lay there the worse my withdrawal symptoms got. Mother was out when I crawled to the shower and just sat under the spray for as long as I could to revive myself. Then I washed myself as well as I could but this was just one more thing I was never going to forgive Mother for._

_I felt slightly better by the time I'd stripped by bed and placed all the bedding in a rubbish bag then leaned the mattress against the wall for me to get rid of when I was strong enough. I was never going to lie in it again. By the time Mother returned, I'd also found her stash and was blissfully high. She got angry with me and threatened to punish me. I'd already known I was going to get punished for losing so much valuable working time. It didn't matter to me if Mother punished me for stealing her shit._

_But it should have mattered._

_Mother had punished me before, but never like this. Before I was completely better, Mother sent me to a client. I was instructed to wash myself really well – not that I needed that, I always scrubbed the stuff the men left on me so well it's a wonder I never took my skin off. I remember walking to the house in the dark, wishing they would just hurry up so I could go do a quick trick and buy my own shit. There was some sort of party going on, I'd been instructed to knock and ask for Bobby. I'll call him that, again because of stupid legal reasons. His name is protected by the law. But I got his name during the course of the night, when his friends encouraged him and told him what a fucking legend he was for doing what he was doing._

_I asked for Bobby and an intoxicated young man led me to a room. It was bare save for a mattress of the floor. I was to strip wait there for him. I felt a little bit relieved because normally when I was required to be already naked when the man came to me, it was usually a quicky. How wrong I was. When Bobby came, he came with his friends. At first I counted ten. But I got tired of counting when I couldn't take any more. I know this was my job. I fucked strange men for money. I blew strange men for money. But I had never ever been required to do more than one at a time. Or rather, I had never ever been gang raped._

_The first guy roughly shoved me onto the mattress on the floor and shoved his dick into my ass. I felt myself rip. I felt the blood dripping. The pain was immense and when I screamed, I got backhanded. And the second guy shoved his dick down my throat._

Jeff slammed the book shut again.

Then he stuffed the book right back where he'd found it, where he wouldn't easily see it.

His heart was pounding when he finally turned his head to look at Kat's sleeping form. He rubbed his eyes and blinked his tears back. The last thing he wanted was to alert her to the fact that he knew but he couldn't stop the tears that silently rolled down his cheeks.

How could she have gone through all that and still... He swallowed as he wiped the tears away and carefully sat on the bed to looked at her peaceful face. How _could_ she be so peaceful? His hand was shaking as he trailed his fingers down her cheek. She smiled in her sleep and turned her face to him.

How could her mother have put her through that? How could she have been so evil? She'd pimped out her own child. She'd let vile men...

He bit his lip when he felt the tears threatening to fall again. He needed to get a grip.

But Kat opened her eyes and he just couldn't do it.

"Jeff?" she questioned sleepily.

He closed his eyes, hoping to stop the horrors he kept seeing in his head.

"Jeff, don't. I'll get her back for you, I promise," Kat whispered as she sat up on the bed and put her arms around him.

He kissed the top of her head and released a breath in the hopes of calming himself.

"All of this is my fault. I'm going to make it right for you, you'll see," she promised.

"Make it go away, Kitty Kat," he whispered as he held her tighter. "Make it stop."

She looked up at him and gently wiped the tears that were falling again.

"I'll tell Hunter you need time off. We can go to her tomorrow," she said. "I don't want you to hurt like this anymore."

He kissed her forehead and held her again. What she was saying barely registered. It was only when he lay down next to her and spooned her that it clicked in his head.

Katrina was going to talk to Angie tomorrow. Then she would obviously expect him to talk, too. And he was in no state of mind to do that.


	23. Chapter 23

**Real Life is a bitch.**

Jeff felt like he'd only just closed his eyes when the knocking started. He tried to ignore it by hiding his face in the crook of Kat's neck but it was insistent and starting to piss him off. Swearing under his breath he gently extracted himself from Kitty Kat and covered her before walking to the door, not even bothering to throw something on over his boxers. At some point in the night they'd both taken their clothes off and Kat had worn her usual bed clothes – his t-shirt.

"What?" he snapped as he swung the door open.

"Someone's in a bad mood," Matt said as he pushed his way into the room.

"I would have thought that after giving Orton that black eye you'd at least be able to crack a smile," Shane added as he followed.

"I should have killed him," he growled, remembering the previous night as he shut the door.

For some reason, Orton hadn't fought back. He'd stood in the middle of the room like he'd been waiting for him. He'd thrown only one good punch then warned the snake to back off before he'd stormed back out. That hadn't been part of his plan, but Kat should never have kissed him to start off with.

"What do you want? It's too damn early for a visit," he said as he sat down on the couch, keeping his voice down so he wouldn't wake Kat.

"Actually, it's almost lunch time," Shane pointed out. "We're supposed to check out in less than an hour."

The room was darkened by the thick curtains but a look on his watch confirmed it was almost noon.

"Shit," he sighed.

He was supposed to drive to Buffalo, New York for Armageddon, but he felt exhausted.

"And we brought lunch," Matt said, holding a bag up and four cups of Starbucks coffee on a holder. "Someone told me once that they love ribs."

He was surprised Kat didn't jump up off the bed at the mention of them, but he realised she was very tired, too. He'd kept her up a long time the previous night.

"Are you alright?" Matt asked as he sat down next to him.

No but he had to at least pretend to be if he didn't want Kat running off to talk to Angie. And he didn't want her to run off and ask Hunter for favours either because The Game knew the real reason he'd been off lately.

"I'm just tired," he sighed. "You guys mind if we ride with you? I don't want to fall asleep at the wheel."

"Sure," Matt said. "Have you packed already?"

He looked around the room at his and Kat's clothes strewn everywhere and sighed again.

"I'll have the coffee first," he decided.

"You don't look alright," Shane stated, sitting down opposite them.

He looked over at Kat's sleeping form. His heart constricted again.

"I'll be fine."

Eventually. It had only been a few days since he'd discovered the truth, after all.

"You two looked really comfortable kissing each other last night," Matt said.

The kiss. That was something he could focus on to get his mind off what he had read about Grace. In fact, if he threw all his energy into playing the perfect boyfriend he'd have none left over to think. Hopefully.

"She's good at it," he said with a faint smile. "Real good."

"You're not going to go straight into a rebound fling without trying to work it out with Angie, are you?" Shane asked.

"I'd never use Kat like that," he answered. "It was just a kiss. A real _good_ kiss."

This time he managed a grin as he watched the little frown on his brother's face. Matt was probably imagining a whole lot of things in that overactive imagination of his.

"Be careful, Jeff. Whatever's going on here... you might get hurt."

"Stop talking like I've suddenly declared my undying love," he said with an amused chuckle.

Trust his brother to think like that! What he and Kat had was perfect; he wasn't going to mess it up by adding sex to the equation.

"All I'm saying is: don't forget the bigger picture. You're kissing her for a reason, after all."

The bigger picture. He grunted. At the moment, Orton was so far out of the picture that he needed a better plan. He didn't see Kat changing her mind about getting Randy back. Maybe he needed to do something drastic like announce their engagement, too, or something similar to spur the Viper into action. Everyone knew he didn't believe in marriage, maybe it would seem like he had finally fallen so deep in love that giving Kat his name was the only way to cement the relationship. Randy would go crazy.

But that plan would never fly because Kat would never agree to it, and Hunter and Shawn would kill him. No doubt the rest of the McMahons and Helmsleys would have something to say about it, too.

"My best friend kisses like she was made to fucking kiss. And I enjoy it. That's all there is to it. No ulterior motives – well, no other ulterior motives besides getting Randy back. And there are no hidden feelings, so quit worrying."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not in the fucking room," Kat snapped from the bed.

He grinned as he turned his head to look at her. She was frowning at him, her lips pouted and the bed sheet wrapped tightly around her shoulders even though she wasn't actually naked. He could tell she was upset that she'd woken up to find other people in the room.

"Doesn't she look so cute when she's angry?" he chuckled, turning to his brother and friend.

"Shut up!" Kitty Kat snapped.

"And then she opens her mouth," Matt muttered.

"Nah. Even her nasty mouth is cute," he chuckled as he got up from the chair to crawl up the bed.

"Morning, Kitty," he said when his face was only inches from hers. "My brother's just worried that if I keep doing this," - he briefly kissed her pouting lips - "you might fall in love with me."

"Really? I thought I heard him say if _I_ keep doing this," she said, freeing her hands and then holding his head in place while she ravished his mouth, "_you_ might fall in love with me."

He smiled against her lips as he opened his eyes to look into hers.

"See, I got the whole kissing on demand thing down," Katrina said with a brief smile.

But the smile dropped from her lips as she searched his face.

She still looked concerned and he knew she was going to call Hunter as soon as she could. He didn't want time off to talk to Angie. Maybe he should have been a little more heartbroken over their break up. Maybe he should have been a little more eager to make amends. But the fact was he was angry with Angie. She should have trusted him. She was the one who was supposed to know him better than anyone else. She should have known Randy and Maria were lying, or at least given him the benefit of a doubt.

"Hi," he whispered his face still only inches from hers.

"Hi. You alright?" she asked.

"Of course," he answered.

"Last night_"

"Was nothing to worry about. I'm fine," he cut in.

"If I call Hunter now_"

"We'll see Angie next week," he cut in again. "There's no need for me to cause problems at work."

"Jeff_"

"Armageddon is on tomorrow. I'm supposed to fight him and Adam, and I'll finally get the belt. I'm not giving that up, believe me."

"If we go now we'll be back by_"

This time he cut her protest with a kiss and then grinned when she shoved him away. When he turned back to Matt and Shane, they were frowning thoughtfully at them. He grinned again. By the end of the day both of them would believe he and Kitty Kat were madly in love! Good. If they could fool the only people who actually knew all of this was just pretend then they could fool anyone.

"You guys are weird," Shane said from his chair.

"You're just jealous 'cause you can't have any," Jeff said as he settled against the headboard and pulled Katrina closer.

"Not even if I offered her these?" Shane questioned as he held the ribs up.

Katrina shoved him away again, this time to pull the bed sheet off so she could wrap it around herself. She was seated next to Shane in seconds, gladly accepting what he offered.

"I knew being friends with you would pay off. I like friends who bring me ribs. Not like that Matt over there," Kat said as she bit into a barbequed rib.

"Ha ha," Matt snorted as he grabbed a rib for himself.

Jeff chuckled as he got off the bed and started getting their belongings together. He was glad Kat seemed to be taking the whole friendship with Matt and Shane seriously. It would probably be a while till she was completely free around them, but he was confident it would happen.

Just as he finished packing for them, there was a knock at the door. He didn't bother with sweats again as he answered it in just his boxers.

"Put some clothes on."

He made a face at Shawn's comment as the man pushed past him, Hunter close behind. Neither of them acknowledged him.

"Good morning to you, too. I hope you had a pleasant night. Please, come in," he mocked.

He slammed the door and turned to see Shawn and Hunter had stopped to look at the scene in front of them. The ribs were long gone but the bones were strewn all over the table. Kat and Matt were chuckling because they'd been making fun of Shane the only way they knew how. He'd been right to think Kat and Matt would get along. The Starbucks coffee was finished and they'd ordered some more from downstairs. The three of them seemed to have forgotten they were in a hurry to check out.

Both men turned to him questioningly.

"She's making friends," he said.

"She's making _better_ friends," Shawn grinned.

He made a face at Shawn again as he walked further into the room.

"Hey Hunter, hey Shawn," Kat said when she noticed them. "What are you guys doing here?"

"I need to talk to Jeff," Hunter said as he dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

Jeff froze in the process of taking his clothes out for the day. This had to be about Grace. Had Kitty Kat called him anyway?

"Why?" he asked with a frown.

"There was a complaint about you. Someone went directly to Vince – _in the middle of the night_ - and asked that you be suspended," Hunter explained.

He snorted. He only needed one guess who that 'someone' was. If this was the game Orton wanted to play now, he would play it better. He snuck a glance at Kat and saw her looking at him anxiously.

"Okay, this is the part where you tell me you've done nothing wrong and you ask me who made up such a lie," Hunter said.

"It was one punch! If Orton wants to be a baby about that then I'll give him something he can really cry about," he muttered as he picked his clothes up. "So am I suspended?"

"No," Hunter said.

"Like Vince would even dare to take you away from Katrina," Shawn snorted.

"But if there's another incident Vince is going to have to take it seriously," Hunter continued. "Orton was talking of involving the police but Vince talked him out of it."

"Maybe you _should_ take a week or two off," Kitty suggested.

And work things out with Angie. That part was left unspoken but he got it. And there was no way he was doing that.

"Stop it, Kitty," he warned.

"Maybe she's right. When you come back your head will be a lot clearer," Matt added.

He rolled his eyes and walked past them to go the bathroom.

"Are you even going to explain why you hit Orton in the first place? Vince sent me to find out what the hell is going on," Hunter said, stopping him. "When he calls me back he's going to want to know."

He turned around.

"I hit him because he's a dick," he answered with irritation. "Is that reason enough?"

"If you won't tell me then maybe your friends will."

Hunter turned to face Matt, Shane and Kat again.

"Wherever Tweedledum goes, Tweedledee is always close behind," he continued, looking specifically at Kat. "What happened, Katrina?"

"Um..."

Damn it! Katrina never lied to Hunter.

"Are you about to _lie_?" Shawn asked in amusement.

"Of course not! I didn't actually see what happened," Katrina said. "They were in the men's room."

"And just happened to fight in there for no apparent reason?"

"Hey, you two are the ones who always tell me Jeff is a weird one. Sometimes, that's just how he rolls," Katrina shrugged.

Shawn burst out laughing.

"This is priceless," he said. "She's _lying_."

"Shut up, Shawn," Kat snapped.

Jeff looked from Shawn to Hunter, who was looking at Kat thoughtfully. He could tell Hunter now knew there was more to this. He wouldn't let it go.

With a sigh, he turned back to walk to the bathroom.

"We have to check out now. We'll have to see you guys later."

"Find me later. You and I have a lot to talk about," Hunter said.

He didn't look back to agree to the meeting. Hunter would find him no matter what.

* * *

Randy frowned in irritation before turning the volume up a little bit more but even that did nothing to drown out the irritating squeals and giggles coming from the desk where his fiancé and three of her friends were sitting.

"Oh, and I think I'll have this for my honeymoon," he heard Maria say. "Randy's going to enjoy taking it off me. Maybe even with his teeth."

He couldn't repress the shiver of revulsion that shot through him.

He hadn't allowed himself to think as far as the honeymoon yet.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

He looked at John briefly then back at the TV, ignoring his quietly asked question. He'd admitted or denied nothing since his run in with Jeff but he knew John had already worked it out. Maria hadn't asked him about his bruised face yet and he doubted she would even notice, but if she did he wasn't going to say anything then either.

There were more squeals, more giggles. He stood up and stormed out before he could say something he would regret when he wasn't in such a foul mood.

On the balcony, he took a long, satisfying pull on a cigarette. He'd been trying to quit but the business with Katrina was stressing him. Why would she still tell him to fuck off after he had offered her everything she had asked for? Women were so fucking contradictory! And never satisfied, always asking for more.

"If I can work out that you don't want to marry Maria, I'm pretty sure she'll figure it out soon."

He snorted.

"Maria's so wrapped up in herself, she wouldn't notice shit."

"Like she didn't notice that she was sitting with your girlfriend last night?" John asked.

He looked at his friend sharply before looking back to the room. The girls were still squealing so they wouldn't have heard John. He didn't want to talk about Katrina, didn't want to talk about her stupid ultimatum and how she had somehow made sure that she was all he had thought about the last few weeks. Katrina shouldn't have had that power over him but she did. It pissed him off.

"Leave Katrina out of this," he growled.

John shook his head and looked over the view of the city. He looked too, hoping he had heard the last of the subject. Somewhere out there, at a hotel only about twenty minutes away, maybe Katrina was on her balcony too. Maybe she was sharing a smoke with Jeff. Then maybe they were going to shower and fuck before they checked out of their room.

His cigarette snapped in half.

In irritation, he lit another one.

Jeff and Katrina together shouldn't have been his biggest problem. It should have been the fact that after drowning a whole bottle of whiskey last night he had called Vince and made a complaint about Jeff punching him.

And not just any complaint.

A totally fucked up, stupid complaint.

He'd been that drunk that he had mentioned that Jeff was fucking Katrina. Then he'd complained about Katrina. He wasn't quite sure exactly what he had said but he knew he had raised a lot of questions.

He'd brought attention to himself.

He'd possibly brought attention to how he felt about Katrina.

Vince wasn't stupid; he would work this one out quite quickly.

"Why are you doing this, Randy? Why are you marrying Maria when you can't even stand her?"

"I can stand her just fine," he growled again.

John sighed and turned his head to face him.

"Are you doing this because of your dad?" John asked quietly.

"I'm doing this because _I_ want to," he lied. "Maria is perfect for me."

John grunted but didn't say anymore. Since they had gone to developmental together and debuted in the WWE the same year, they had naturally become best friends. And this meant John knew a lot of shit about him that he really had no business knowing.

"Okay," John said, though it was pretty obvious he didn't buy it.

They stood in silence a while longer while he contemplated his future without Katrina in it. She was really sticking to her guns. He hadn't thought it would be this hard to get her back into his bed.

"So when did you start seeing her?" John asked.

He let out a breath.

"About seven months ago," he admitted.

John let out a long whistle. Maybe he shouldn't have told the truth. Before Maria, none of his relationships had lasted past two weeks. And if he didn't need to marry Maria, she would never have made it past one night – especially since that first night had been the beginning of the worst sex of his life. Seven months was a very big deal for him, normally. But John would think this meant he was serious about Katrina when all he wanted was the one thing she was good at.

"She's really good in bed," he explained. "Don't take it for any more that what it is. Besides, we ended things a while ago."

He didn't need to tell him that she was the one who'd ended it and he was now desperately trying to get her back. No, not _desperately_. He didn't do desperate.

"According to Adam, Maria's about as good in bed as a dead fish so Katrina's already got one up on her," John said. "So tell me again, this time in your own words and not your father's, why you're marrying Maria when you want to be with someone else."

"I don't want to be with Katrina!"

"No? Is that what last night was about? And the night Jeff was all over her at the bar when you looked ready to kill him? How about the night we all went out_"

"Shut up John. You don't know what you're talking about."

"After last night, I think I know a lot. Work this out, man, because if you're doing this for the reasons I think you doing it for then you're seriously messed up."

He didn't have a comeback on that one. John _did_ pick up on a lot of things. It would do no good arguing about this when it was true that he was messed up. But that was all Katrina's fault. If she hadn't waltzed out of his life the same way she had waltzed in he would have been completely fine.

"I'm marrying Maria," he bit out. "I'm marrying her because I want to_"

"Not because you love her?"

"There's no love in this world, John. You're stupid if you think you'll ever find it."

"I feel so sorry for you."

"Well, don't. My life is going the way I want it to. Soon I'll have a beautiful wife who adores me and we'll make beautiful babies. What more could a man ask for?"

"Someone to make you happy? Someone you actually like to grow old with? Laugh with?"

"Katrina will never be any of those things anyway, so back the fuck off," he growled.

"Maria will never be any of those things either."

"I said back the fuck off," he hissed.

"Honey, I'm ready to check out now," Maria called out.

He threw his unfinished cigarette away.

"I'm going to spend a little quality time with my fiancé on the drive to New York. Maybe you should catch a ride with Adam or someone else."

No way was he getting into a car with John after this.

"It's probably for the best. I wouldn't want to sit through a whole journey with Maria discussing her underwear for your honeymoon," John bit out before he turned and went back into the room.

Maria came to the door, handbag in her hand and a smile on her face.

"I just found the perfect little outfit for our first night," she said.

He turned away before she could see him roll his eyes.

_Yeah... I'm thinking of sitting this one out, too._

He grunted. Even the nagging voice in his head was deserting him.

His phone started ringing before the woman could tell him anymore rubbish about the honeymoon. Katrina would look better in any of the stuff Maria would buy. She always wore the sexiest little things, just for him.

_And now she wears them for Jeff_.

"What?" he answered curtly.

"It's Hunter. We need to talk."

He should have checked the caller ID.

He tried to mask the look of panic on his face. The last thing he wanted was for Maria to ask questions.

"Now?"

"Have you checked out already?"

"Yes." He lied.

"I'll call you when we get to Buffalo."

The line went dead before he could gauge if The Game sounded angry.

"Are you ready?" Maria asked.

He almost chuckled at the irony of her words.

"Yeah. Come on."


	24. Chapter 24

It was getting late when Randy finally walked into the hotel with his and Maria's bags in tow.

"I like your friends but wasn't it nice to have time to ourselves for a change?" Maria asked with a smile as she walked beside him, her arm linked with his.

He gave her a smile back. He really hoped it didn't look like the snarl he was dying to let out.

He was carrying her damn, heavy-as-fuck bags as well as pulling his own. And _still_ she wanted to link arms? Hadn't the woman heard of suitcases with wheels? What the hell did she put in there, anyway?

"We should do it more often," she suggested.

He gripped the handle of his bag tightly. For the first time in a long time, he prayed. If a greater force didn't intervene, he'd probably kill the woman. The journey to Buffalo had made his top three worst trips ever. His ears were still ringing from the constant talking and worse still, he could still _taste_ her. They'd stopped to eat by a little place out of the way that just happened to be next to a motel and the woman had taken advantage. He'd made a mental note to himself: when driving alone with fiancé/wife, DON'T STOP!

"Yes, we should," he said instead.

He could play the perfect fiancé perfectly. When the time came, he would play the perfect husband, even if it meant he occasionally had to sleep with his wife. John didn't have a clue what he was talking about.

And as he thought of his friend, he saw him talking to the woman behind the check-in desk, probably asking about the woman's family and signing shit for her kids if she had them. For some reason, John enjoyed that.

"Hey," he said as soon as they were close enough.

John turned around and the smile on his face was replaced by a smirk as he looked from him to the woman hanging on his arm.

"Hey Maria," he said. "Did you enjoy your quality time with your man?"

"It was perfect," Maria gushed. "Makes me wish the wedding day was tomorrow so he could be officially _all_ mine."

He swallowed.

John's smirk widened as his eyes caught his reaction.

"In fact, I was about to ask Randy here if we could have an early night. I hope you don't mind me keeping him a bit longer, John," Maria continued.

"John and I have something we need to do tonight."

If Maria didn't hear the panic in his voice then she really was as dense as he had accused her of being.

"Do we?" John asked.

He could tell the bastard was enjoying himself.

He found himself doing something else that he hadn't done in a long time. He begged. He met John's eyes and silently begged for all he was worth.

And his friend understood perfectly because his smirk became even wider.

"I'm just messing with you. I haven't forgotten," John said. "I'm sorry Maria but we do have something we need to do. It's really important."

He let out a little breath of relief before turning to his fiancé with his first genuine smile of that day.

"Sorry," he said to her.

"Randy..." Maria whined.

"If I could, I'd spend more time with you. You know that," he lied as he checked them in. "We're actually running a little bit late so I'm going to get someone to help you with the bags, okay?"

He didn't wait for an answer as he personally loaded a trolley up with their bags and tipped the bellhop before turning around to give her a quick peck on her cheek.

And he didn't even bother to check if she was watching as he led John to the hotel restaurant and straight to the bar.

"Like I said," John said with a chuckle, "you need help."

"Shut the fuck up," he growled before he ordered a large whiskey.

* * *

"Are you going to talk to him now?" Steph asked.

Hunter twirled the drink in his glass, his eyes on the man who had just walked in.

"Not yet. I might wait a few days."

"What are you waiting for?" Shawn asked.

The three of them had decided on a meal and drink before an early night. Jeff and Katrina had done an excellent job of avoiding them since they had checked in and Vince had been in his ear most of the day to get to the bottom of the situation.

"I want to know if it's true, first," he answered, almost to himself.

"He's got a freakin' black eye! Of course it's true," Shawn said.

Hunter bit his jaw. It was best to keep the situation contained for the time being so that meant keeping his mouth shut.

"Later. I don't really feel like sorting through any immature drama right now," he said as he took his phone out. "I'm going to try to get Kat down here. I haven't really seen her since we came back on the road."

Rather than call her again, he sent her a simple message.

He had a perfect view of Orton's face though the restaurant was busy enough that Randy wouldn't see him unless he was looking for him.

He sat back and waited.

* * *

Katrina's heart was pounding as she finally ran out of the elevator into the lobby. The place was swarming with people; she hoped none of them would notice she was practically naked. After Hunter's message she'd only had time to put her fluffy slippers on and grab a little zip-up hoody. She hadn't thought anything of the little shorts and vest top she had worn earlier for a lazy night in front of the TV while Jeff caught up on some much needed sleep.

But how she was dressed was the last thing on her mind.

Something terrible had happened. She just knew it.

If it was about the kids...

She stopped at the entrance of the restaurant and scanned through the dining patrons while she put the hoody on.

* * *

Randy didn't know what made him turn his head. He didn't want to think that it was because his senses always knew when Katrina was close because that would mean something. But the moment he turned, he was transfixed. He'd claimed over and over again that Katrina was somewhat pretty but not a head turner; but in that moment she was the most stunning thing he'd ever seen.

An involuntary, strangled sound left his lips.

He didn't see John search his face and then look briefly at the woman at the entrance before his eyes thoughtfully settled on his face again. He didn't see anyone besides Katrina.

She was wearing the tiniest shorts he'd ever seen on her. Maria called hers butt shorts but she would never, not in a million years, look as good as Katrina did in hers. As she turned to look around the room, he was almost floored by the view of her perfect ass. He knew she had a delicious little sexy body, he had fantasies about it every night; but seeing the shorts moulding her tight little ass sent his brain into some sort of shutdown.

He missed moulding that butt with his hands; he missed having those legs wrapped around him; he missed the way her breast filled his hands, and the way she mewled when he put a hardened nipple in his mouth. He missed those lips on him, loving him...

Another involuntary sound left his lips as he turned fully to face her.

He missed her; fullstop. It was a painful admission.

Not being with her was killing him.

_Then go get her, tiger._

For the first time in a long time he listened to the voice with no argument. Katrina was hers. She belonged to him. _With_ him.

* * *

"I can't do this anymore."

Katrina tensed when she heard that desperate whisper, then turned around in a panic. Randy stood only a foot away from her, so close she could smell his faint aftershave.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

She had never seen him looking at her like that before, like he was ready to just grab her and kiss her. He was always Mr. I-Don't –Know-You in public. Her heart tightened at the thought of what that could mean. But now wasn't the time to go into any of that. Hunter's message said he'd meet her down here in a few minutes, as far as she knew he was there already and she just couldn't see him. She couldn't let him see them together. What with Hunter knowing she had lied to him about the situation the previous night, being seen together would bring out so many questions.

"Tell me what you want me to do, Katrina. I need you."

He took a step forward and she had to take a step back.

"Not now!" she said urgently. "We can't be seen together."

"Then let's go somewhere we can talk," he pleaded. "I... I can't go on like this."

For Randy to admit that was a big deal. Her heart tightened again. Part of her thought of the things he had said to her while he kissed her last night, the lies he had told. But another part thought of what it could be like if he was telling the truth and they could be together. Could he really love her?

Or maybe she had to ask herself if _anybody_ could love her, the real her. She was damaged. Even if Randy was to leave Maria, he would leave her too, in the end. He would find out eventually that she was so far removed from his idea of a perfect woman and he'd hate her for ruining his life.

"You need to stay away from me. Stay away from Jeff, too," she said firmly. "Carry on with your life as if I don't exist. You've done perfectly in that regard since we got together."

"Don't be like this, Katrina."

"I can't deal with you right now!" she repeated, looking around again.

Then her heart sank when her eyes met with Hunter's.

"Shit," she whispered.

* * *

Randy followed her gaze and met The Cerebral Assassin's eyes. Hunter had been his mentor and friend from the very beginning of his career with the WWE, he knew what that look meant. The Game was making plans to kill him.

He suddenly remembered where he was and why he should have stayed away from Katrina. For a moment he was appalled that he could lose sight of his goals so easily. But still he wanted Katrina. He wanted to take her somewhere where he could rip those little shorts off her and take her.

"Meet me later," he said urgently.

"Haven't you heard a word I've said?" Katrina hissed. "Leave me the fuck alone."

"Please."

But Katrina just walked away.

He watched her walk to Hunter's table, watched her perfect ass gracefully sway away from him until she sat down at a free chair with her family. Then he looked up to find Hunter's gaze hadn't left his face.

He had wanted to avoid meeting Hunter for this reason. Vince had obviously told him whatever it was he'd said in his late night call. Throughout the day he'd had a sneaking suspicion that he'd said a lot more than what he'd first believed.

If he didn't tread very carefully, not only was Maria going to find out about Katrina and call off the wedding, all his pans would also be ruined.

_Would that really be so bad, Randall? Wouldn't being with her, no matter what the cost, make up for all that shit? _

No.

The cost was too high.

And she just wasn't worth it.

He looked away from Hunter with a frustrated sigh as he turned to leave.

"Hey, wait up."

He ignored John as he walked past the elevator and opened the doors to the stairwell. As soon as the doors closed behind him he punched a wall.

"Whoa! Easy there," John said as he walked in behind him.

He ignored his friend as he started pacing up and down the small space. He needed to think. John knew better than to say anything, but instead of leaving him alone, he sat on the steps and watched him.

He stopped pacing when he realised that it wasn't getting him anywhere. No matter what he did, Katrina wouldn't be with him again until she knew he wasn't with Maria anymore.

"Do you want my advice?"

He turned his head to look at John.

"No."

"I'll give it to you anyway. You have feelings for Katrina. Very strong feelings. So stop your bullshit wedding and see how that goes."

"We had this conversation already."

"That was before I saw your face when she walked in. I didn't realise_"

"Realise what?" he cut in, looking into his friend's eyes daring him to finish his sentence.

John sighed.

"How far are you going to let this go? What happens the next time you do something your dad doesn't approve of? You're going to be back to square one but with a wife and maybe a child in the picture. Then what? Will you kick your child out of your life? Tell him you don't need him anymore?"

With a weary sigh, he turned to open the doors.

"Do the right thing," John said. "You want Katrina."

He paused with his hand on the door handle.

"I do," he admitted quietly. "But I _need_ Maria."

Then he walked out and straight to the desk where he asked for a taxi. He needed to get away.

* * *

The day of Armageddon dawned and thankfully everyone was too busy to ask Katrina what the hell happened in the restaurant with Randy. As soon as she'd sat down at Hunter's table and realised there was no emergency, she'd known she had somehow been played and had made her excuses to return to her room. Hunter knew. She just didn't know how much.

She'd been too busy doing shoots before the show and then when the PPV started she'd taken no breaks at all because she knew Hunter would be waiting for her backstage.

She avoided making any waves at all, even when Maria came up in her face before the show started. She didn't want any more attention from her family. When Randy came out for his match, she avoided his gaze. He'd tried to call her a few times through the night but she had ignored his calls. That didn't stop him staring holes into her though; she just hoped no one else noticed. Especially his fiancé if she was watching the match. His words were still whirling around in her head but the fact remained that his wedding to Maria was still on, therefore his words were just that: words. She watched him through her camera lenses when he wasn't watching her, and he seemed distracted. When Batista pinned him, she couldn't help feeling that somehow she was the reason he lost.

Maybe she needed to do something drastic for Randy to leave her alone. He obviously didn't know what the word 'no' meant.

When Jeff won the belt she let out a relieved breath. It had been a long ass day and she was more than ready for her bed. For some reason Vince had booked a two bed-roomed suite for her. He was obviously sending her a subtle message that Jeff had to have his own bed. She didn't know why but she was starting to think this was something to do with the shit that was going on.

But for the second night, the second bedroom remained unused as she fell asleep in Jeff's arms.

The following day, she and Jeff did their best to avoid Hunter, Steph and Shawn again. It was going to be a busy week because they had to record all the shows to air over their Christmas and New Year's break. And then the Christmas party was on Saturday. Hopefully she could avoid really talking to them then, too, but after that she knew they would corner her.

By Friday morning everyone was officially on a break. They had basically lived on planes and in rentals until their last show in Fayetteville, North Carolina the previous night. She was dead on her feet but couldn't wait to get to Cameron. Her talk with Angela was way overdue.

* * *

"It's a bad idea," Jeff grumbled as they pulled into a restaurant close to their house.

It was still early and they hadn't had breakfast yet because Kitty Kat had been too eager to start the half hour journey to Cameron. He'd managed talk her out of driving to Matt's home the previous night with Shane and to convince her to let him talk to Angie first but he still didn't see the day ending well.

"It's a brilliant idea," Matt said as he got out of the car. "You haven't even tried to call the poor girl."

"For a damn good reason!" he said defensively.

But Kat and Matt ignored him as they found a table by the windows and started looking at the menus.

"Any good hotels around here?" Kat asked after they had ordered.

"Why?" he frowned.

"Well, I'm not going to stay at your house to watch you and Angie have make-up sex, am I?" she teased.

"You seem so sure that it'll work out."

"Of course it will. She was upset that time, by now I'm sure she's calmed down and willing to listen to your side of the story."

He really doubted that.

"You seem to forget that things have changed since she left me. I've kissed you and everyone at work believes we're together. How am I going to explain that away?"

"Well, you should have thought of that before you came up with that stupid plan," Kat said.

"It's a perfectly good plan that I intend to see through to the end," he grumbled. "That's why getting back with Angie now would be a bad idea."

"Hey," Kat said, putting her hand over his. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

He gave her a disbelieving look. If he hadn't been with her most of the time she would have been crying herself to sleep every night.

"Okay, maybe I'm not quite there yet but I'm working on it. So do what you need to do, ok?"

He nodded his head and sighed. He wouldn't be able to pretend to be her boyfriend behind Angie's back so he'd have to find another way to get her back with Randy. That was assuming Angie took him back, which he doubted very much.

"Hey, look. Seems you're all set for a perfect end to a perfect week," Matt said as he indicated to something outside the window.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw Angie getting out of her car across the road. She looked better than ever, and for the first time he admitted to himself how much he had missed her. Maybe everything would work out fine, after all. Maybe it would be easier to work out how to deal with the Grace situation if his heart wasn't broken, too.

But Angie didn't look heartbroken at all.

In fact, she looked happier than he'd seen her in a long time.

"Go," Kat urged.

But he waited, a frown growing on his face as he watched her take some bags out of her car.

He knew what was happening before he even saw the familiar car parked close to hers. Before he saw the man who came out of it to help her with her bags. Before he saw the man bend down to kiss her on the lips.

He swallowed, wishing he could look away. But his eyes were glued on them, watching the easy way they interacted, the _familiarity_ as they both got into the man's car.

They finally drove off and he realised he had forgotten to breath. He inhaled a long, painful breath before he finally looked away.

"Let's go home," he whispered.

* * *

**I'll work on Sex On Fire soon, I promise. Thank you for your reviews for the previous chapter. Hope you enjoy this one too.**


	25. Chapter 25

"You look gorgeous."

Katrina rolled her eyes as Steph messed with her hair again. She took another gulp of the whiskey in her glass and put it back down on the table. She needed it to get through the night.

"I don't see why you couldn't just bring the clothes I asked for," she grumbled as she tried to pull the two sides of the v-neck further across her chest.

With an irritated frown, she tried to reposition the obscene diamond that hung on a pure silver chain and dropped to her cleavage. She could have worn just the matching earrings, but Steph wasn't having any of that.

"Because I wasn't going to let you wear jeans," Steph answered as she nudged her towards a mirror.

"I would have worn a tie!"

"Yes, I know. Over your t-shirt."

She eyed herself in the mirror and grudgingly admitted that she looked alright, even if she didn't feel comfortable. Steph had met her at the exclusive hotel in LA with a hairdresser, a manicurist and a designer silk creation. It had a halter neck and flowed sensually along her curves and almost – almost- made her feel how she felt when she wore her pretty underwear.

"You know I'm going to be popping out of this all night, don't you? These sorts of dresses weren't made for people with chests like mine."

The v-neck went all the way down her chest which meant her breasts were only contained by two scraps of silk. And the back drooped almost to her butt, which was no good either. Steph had made her wear some funny contraption in lieu of a bra but she still felt very naked. At least it was long, even if the long slit at the front exposed her legs when she walked.

"You'll be fine. Now put these on and I'll go tell Jeff you're ready. I bet he's going to drool when he sees you."

"He has more important things going on than to bother about how I look," she said as she took the heels from her.

After the incident at breakfast the day before, they'd gone straight to Matt's house. Matt had explained that the man Angie had gone with was – or had been – a very good friend of theirs, making the situation a whole lot worse. Jeff had taken a little nap then when he'd got up he'd acted like nothing had happened. It had been his idea to keep to their original plans and just come to the party; in fact he had insisted. She could understand that, though. When Randy had got engaged she'd pretended that she was alright, too.

"More important things like his silly fight with Orton? Hunter and Dad are going to want to talk to all of you tonight, you know."

"I know," she sighed.

"That sounded a bit ominous. Should I be worried?"

"No. It was nothing. I'll see you out there, okay?"

"Okay, honey. Just don't take too long, everyone's here already."

Steph put some of the things away, gave her one last look-over, then with a satisfied smile walked out of the room.

She sighed again as she put the shoes on. The night was going to go very badly. She could feel it.

She poured herself another drink and waited for Jeff.

* * *

Jeff walked into the bedroom and stopped in his tracks at the sight that met him.

"Amazing."

His voice was almost inaudible as he walked slowly to her. Seeing her like this was almost worth all the pain of pretending he was alright. She looked like... Like temptation. And he was in such a bad place that she was exactly what he needed.

"Thank you. You, too."

Hunter had told him to wear a nice black suit. He didn't cross Hunter if he could help it.

He raised his hand and ran a finger down the neck of the dress, loving the feel of the silk. Then he ran his hand slowly down her side, past the indent of her waist until her splayed his fingers over her generous hip.

"I didn't bring my paint," he whispered, meeting her eyes.

She would look good set against the Los Angeles sunset, her black hair contrasting beautifully with the red and gold. And she would look good with the moon as the backdrop, setting off her gorgeous silver eyes and the diamonds.

"Good because I don't think Steph would have let you have paint anywhere near this dress," Katrina chuckled as she turned around to pick up her little purse.

"You're not wearing any underwear," he stated.

She would look even better on a bed with nothing on but the diamonds and the silk draped over her curves. He let his mind wander to the end of the evening, when he would beg her to let him sketch her and get lost in the many delights of her body. Maybe he would position her on her front so he could sketch her cleavage as well as her cute butt. Or maybe on her knees, clutching the silk to her chest so it hid her private parts...

"Steph said I can't with this dress. She said no one would notice!"

He grinned at her.

"I'm not complaining," he said with a lazy smile as he offered her his arm. "Shall we?"

"We didn't have to come tonight," she said as they walked out of the bedroom and the suite to the elevators.

"I'm fine," he lied, putting his arm around her shoulder. "But I think I should warn you; I'm going to kiss you a whole lot tonight."

He'd been looking forward to that since he had seen Angie get into Kimo's car.

"Jeff, I don't think now's the time to worry about Randy," Katrina said as they got into the elevator.

The Christmas party was in the top floor function room that opened up to the roof garden. Katrina had had the garden pimped out for her pleasure and didn't plan to be at the main party unless she was absolutely needed, which was fine with him.

"It's not Randy I'm worried about," he said, looking down into her eyes.

Oh, no. It wasn't his plans for giving his best friend her happy ever after that was holding him together tonight. It was the thought of those lips on his.

As they walked down to the end of the hallway where soft music was playing, he felt her tense up. The men at the doors opened them as they approached and at the entrance, he stopped and pulled her closer.

"Are you ready?" he asked, meeting her eyes.

"No. But I guess I have no choice," Katrina sighed.

"Just think of the rib station and karaoke you've got outside," he grinned as he lowered his head.

He met her lips briefly; just a little taste with his tongue but enough to sustain him until he could kiss her properly.

"Oh, good. The lovebirds are here. Now can we get this thing going so we can finally eat?"

At the sound of Shane's loud, sarcastic voice above the soft music, he lifted his head and grinned at him. Shane McMahon was the only one who'd supported his friendship with Katrina from the very beginning; he had a lot of love for the man for that.

"Come on, then," Shane beckoned.

The McMahon/Helmsley table was right at the front. There were two empty chairs right between Vince and Hunter. And by the look on the men's faces, that wasn't by accident.

"I wanna sit with Dolph," Kitty whispered.

"Works for me," he agreed.

* * *

Katrina was well aware that by refusing to sit with her family she was confirming that whatever was happening was big. She had to come clean. But she would do it at the end of the night. Or even once they got home when they couldn't physically hurt Randy.

She smiled when she finally stood by Dolph and actually went as far as to throw her arms around him.

"Get. Off. Me!" Dolph said through grit teeth.

"Don't be like that, Dolph. We're all friends here," she said as she looked around the table and nodded in greeting at the other occupants.

He was sitting with Morrison and Melina and two other couples that she didn't know, as well as a pretty little blonde girl right next to him who had to be his date. There was no room for her and Jeff.

For a second she thought it was funny that she was seeking protection among the very people she used to hide away from.

"You look very beautiful tonight, Katrina," John said.

"Thanks. You look very beautiful, too," she answered.

The alcohol was working now, thankfully. After scanning the room, she saw Matt beckoning to them. They were sitting quite close to the glass doors that stood opened to the garden where she planned to spend most of the night. Steph had told her she had to at least sit through the speeches. Tonight, because she didn't want to cause any trouble, she was doing everything she was told.

Matt had brought a date; a friend of his whom she'd met at his home the day before; and Shane had brought his girlfriend, a professional wrestler for a rival company. She liked her only for the fact that she wasn't a Diva.

It was only when she'd sat down that she realised their table was right next to Randy's.

And that he was starring a hole through her, even with Maria seated right next to her.

He looked _so_ good. Tired but still so good. She found herself wishing for the impossible again. She met his piercing eyes, for once not cold. But he didn't seem happy, either. She could go as far as to say he looked miserable.

There was a lot of that going around lately.

"Hey," Jeff whispered.

She looked up at her friend who was trying so hard to hide his misery. But she could see it. She could always see it.

"You're mine tonight. No Randy, no Angie. Just you and me. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed.

But it was hard not to be aware of the man at the next table. He and Maria were seated with Superman, someone who appeared to be his plus one, and two elderly couples, one of those women held a striking resemblance to Maria. She guessed Maria and Randy had invited their parents, so that meant the beautiful brunette had to be Randy's mother. Randy had her eyes. Beautiful. She wondered what she was like. To raise a man like Randy had to have been difficult.

"I mean it," Jeff said firmly.

"Okay!" she said, looking away from their table again.

Vince welcomed all his employees who had been able to make it, and all the important people involved in making the WWE what it was before he declared the festivities opened.

He had gone with the whole classy thing that she just couldn't be bothered to do normally. So many courses, so much cutlery on next to her plate, so many glasses... It just wasn't her. But she put up with it even though she felt like choking on the food because Randy couldn't stop looking at her. While they ate there was speech after speech, so many toasts, jokes that just weren't funny...

And through it all she could hear the conversations from the next table.

* * *

"Randall. Randall!"

He looked away from Katrina to his dad, kicking himself again for not having his head in the game. But it was increasingly hard to concentrate when Katrina was only a few feet away.

"Yes?"

"I said pour your lady some wine," his father said. "What's wrong with you tonight?"

"I'm just tired," he lied.

He caught John's eyes across the table but looked away quickly. Tonight was hard enough without John looking at him like that. But, to Bob Orton's credit, he was showing a lot of restraint tonight.

"No wine for me," Maria said with a weird smile.

She'd been acting stranger than usual the past few days; more squeals, more giggles, more whispering with her silly girlfriends. And more _cuddles_. He didn't like it when she touched him, even in such a small capacity. But at least he could be grateful that she hadn't asked him for sex again.

"I just talked to DiBiase earlier, and he agrees that you need to change the direction you're going in. This angle won't get you very far and it won't earn you any fans," Bob Orton said. "What with you leading the faction, we think you'll take those boys down with you."

"Maybe Ted DiBiase should concentrate on the fact that his son is making a name for himself now, carving his own path," he muttered.

He kicked himself again. Now wasn't the time to give the voice in his head free reign.

He looked briefly at his mother and saw the warning in her eyes. She knew her husband well. Things could get ugly quite quickly.

"I mean, we discussed this with Hunter and a few others for quite a long time before we felt we could do it," he said. "Both Cody and Ted are going to be pretty big when that runs its course."

"And I assume that means you think you're already big," his father said. "Bigger than those boys; bigger than the whole locker room?"

He knew that tone. Whatever answer he gave here would be wrong.

"No, dad, I'm not bigger than everyone. But I've worked hard to be where I am, and I'm quite happy with that."

"Arrogant as ever, I see," Bob said. "That big head of your will be your undoing. You know that, boy? Now I want you to talk to DiBiase after this and take his advice."

"Yes, sir," he answered, glad that for once his father was trying not to show him up in front of his colleagues.

"Can we talk about the wedding now?"

He looked at Carol, Maria's mother and clenched his jaw. She was even more annoying than her daughter. Maybe Maria would be like her when she was older. It wasn't a nice thought.

Even though Carol Kenellis was poised and polished, with not a red hair out of place – and like Maria, exactly the type of woman his father wanted for him – she was as dull as her daughter. He didn't know how her husband had survived this long with her. The man had hardly said a word and he seemed to let Carol steamroll over him whenever she wanted. He probably played the field, like he planned to do once he married his daughter.

_Don't you mean _if_ you marry his daughter?_

His eyes went straight to Katrina again as the voice taunted him. All week he had ached – physically ached – to be with her again. And he hadn't wanted to fuck her, just to be with her even if all they did was sit down and talk. Or even hearing her voice would have been enough, even if all she probably would have done was tell him to fuck off.

The way she looked tonight...

He'd had to do a double take when he'd seen her walking in. He thought she looked better than all the women here put together but for once that didn't matter to him. She could have come in dressed in her sweats and fluffy slippers and he'd still have been so glad to see her, even if it was Hardy's arm she was hanging on to. But then Hardy had kissed her and he was reminded all over again that she had moved on.

It hurt. It hurt like a bitch.

"Randy. Randy!"

He looked away from Katrina again to look at his future wife.

"What?"

He was aware he sounded irritable.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Maria asked.

"Yes," he answered.

He'd been told that was always the right answer to that question. But he didn't have any idea what the hell she thought she was right about.

"I don't know how Mr. McMahon could let someone like that in here, knowing what she is," Maria continued. "Jeff paid out a fortune for that dress but it doesn't matter what she looks like on the outside, she's still rotten on the inside."

What? Was Maria honestly talking about Katrina?

He looked at Katrina again and saw the stiff set of her shoulders. She had heard what Maria had said, and whatever he had agreed with.

"And do you know," Maria continued, lowering her voice and leaning forward so she could gossip some more, "I tried on that dress when I was shopping last week. I would have bought it if I hadn't realised one thing: you can't wear any underwear with it."

Carol Kenellis gasped in shock, which was obviously the effect Maria had been aiming for. His mother continued eating her food, because she had never been a gossiping kind of woman. And this wasn't dinner table conversation. A woman of Maria's breeding should have known that.

His reaction though...

He swallowed as he turned his head to look at Katrina again. He saw the hint of colour in her cheeks that showed that she had heard that too, even if she was avoiding looking at their table. His eyes slowly lowered and saw the subtle way she crossed her legs. But the image was already in his head. Under that thin material her smooth, soft flesh was bare.

And he ached for it. He ached to touch it... to put his lips on it.

"Though I doubt we shop at the same places. Hers must be a cheap imitation," Maria continued.

"It looks really expensive to me," his mother said, speaking for the first time on the subject with a tight little smile on her lips. She did that when something displeased her.

Maria must have finally noticed because she didn't say any more on the matter.

"Um... So Randy's getting another shot at the title," John said, kicking him under the table.

It was obviously an attempt to change the subject. Or to stop him from drooling. Either way, the focus switched from the uncomfortable conversation that Maria had started, and allowed him a little time to calm himself down.

"Why?" Bob asked.

He swallowed a sigh. Any other father would have been proud at the opportunities their son got to advance at work.

"I've said it before, I'll say it again. He's not ready. Everytime he gets that belt around his waist, it's like confirmation that he's better than everybody else."

"Bob," his mother warned.

There was another uncomfortable silence.

"So the wedding," John said after a while, changing the subject again.

"Yes, the wedding," Maria said enthusiastically. "It's going to be so beautiful, John. We've booked this quaint little church in St. Louis, though I would have wanted something bigger to fit all my friends."

"But in the beginning you wanted a beach wedding," John said. "That would have been a small wedding anyway, wouldn't it?"

"Well, yes. But when we decided to have it in a church instead, I pictured something different. Then Elaine and Mum showed me this place and it's perfect."

He noticed she said 'we' like he had given her a choice. His eyes wandered back to Katrina's table, then narrowed coldly when he saw that Jeff was kissing her again. He had his arm around her with his hand on her hip and his fingers caressing the side of her thigh, with all that bare flesh underneath them.

Bastard.

He breathed a sigh of relief as the last course was cleared away. He needed a smoke badly. He a little bit of time away from the situation because the party was far from over.

"I have some news," Maria said just as he was about to excuse himself.

He just about stopped himself from screaming.

"You might have noticed that I didn't touch a drop of wine tonight," she started. "There's a reason for that."

He frowned and looked at her face, at the silly little smile she had worn all week. Then understanding dawned and it made him sick. He clutched the table because he felt like he would fall off his chair if he didn't. Then his eyes flew to Katrina's face.

She was still listening, he could tell. And she was going to hear this news, too.

"Randy and I are going to have a baby."


	26. Chapter 26

**Song Credits **

**:Adele – One and Only (though I realise Adele 21 wasn't out in 2008)**

**:Nickelback – Burn it to The Ground**

* * *

"Randy and I are going to have a baby."

The words were like a knife through his heart. With a strangled breath, he watched as everything turned to slow motion.

Katrina's parted lips and the little gasp that left them... The look in her eyes as they quickly met his... All the shock; the hurt... the pain... Pain that he felt too because he knew that now there was no turning back from the path he had chosen.

Then there was the silence. Such heavy silence around the table. But his eyes never left Katrina's face. Everything took on a dreamlike quality, the noise in the background muted, drowned by his slowing heart beat. Another sound left his throat as a single tear fell down Katrina's cheek.

He'd hurt her.

That had to mean that despite all the shit she had said to him, despite her being with Hardy, she still had feelings for him.

Now he had completely blown it. If she had been reluctant to be with him because of his fiancé, there was no way in hell she'd come between him and his child. He watched Jeff turn her head to face him, watched the bastard whisper something in her ear. Then watched the sad little smile that appeared on her lips. He followed their every movement as they stood up and made their way outside. Away from him.

She was gone.

And he felt like a limb had been cut off.

Still hearing his heart in his ears, he turned his head slowly to the Maria. She was beaming from ear to ear as if she had just shared the best news in the world. She should have told him first. In private, where Katrina wouldn't have heard it, too.

"What have you done?" he whispered.

"What has _she_ done? Have you lost your damn mind?" Bob Orton seethed. "How could you let this happen before your wedding? Have you any idea what people will say?"

He finally turned to look at the other occupants of the table. There was shock on Carol's face, though Maria's dad didn't look bothered one way of the other as he continued drinking his coffee. His mother looked... sad? He couldn't tell. John looked sorry for him. But Bob Orton... He saw the rage on his father's face, clear for everyone to see.

But for the first time in forever, that cold look didn't scare him.

For the first time in forever, the pain in his heart wasn't because he was aware of his father's lack of love for him.

For the first time in forever, he didn't care.

Maria was having his baby.

But he wished... wished so bad... that it was Katrina having his baby instead.

* * *

As Hunter approached the table, he felt the tension in the air. It was probably Randy's fault. _Randy Orton. Pissing people off since nineteen eighty_. He should have had that as his by-line.

"Sorry to interrupt you guys but may I have a word with Randy for a minute?" he asked as soon as he stood next to their table.

It took him a moment to realise Randy hadn't heard him.

"Randy. Randy!"

Orton finally looked away from his father to him. If he hadn't known better he would have assumed that guy had gone and done some sort of drugs because of the almost vacant look on his face.

"A word, please."

Randy stood up without a word and followed him out of the room and down one flight of stairs. He could go as far as to say Randy had no clue what the hell was happening. And how much danger he was in. The boy didn't say a word when he let him into his suite. He didn't say a word when Vince, Shane and Shawn walked out from the shadows – Shawn's idea. His friend could be quite melodramatic at times. He'd had to be really firm against Shawn's suggestion of doing a scene from The Godfather. It was a very good thing that he and Vince had only told Shawn and Shane what was going on only a few minutes ago, because given the time, those two would have planned a perfect murder.

"Hello, Randall," Vince said.

Randy seemed to come out of whatever place he'd been in his head at the sound of Vince's voice. His head snapped up and he looked around at the men surrounding him.

"Really?" Randy asked. "You're going to beat me up?"

He wanted to beat _the hell_ out of him. How dare the boy assume he could even touch Katrina like that? But he couldn't kill him. None of them could, not until they knew the whole story. And he'd had a sneaking suspicion since the night he had seen Randy's face that Katrina wouldn't allow it. She hadn't been with any men willingly in her life. That had to mean she cared about Randy enough to go that far with him.

"What would give you that idea? Have you done something that makes you think you deserve an ass kicking?" Shawn asked.

"I'm not stupid. I know why I'm here. But now isn't the right time," Randy said as he turned away from them to walk back the way he had come.

He was still standing by the door and didn't move away when Randy stopped in front of him.

"And when will be the right time to talk about the fact that you're sleeping with our Katrina behind your fiancé's back?" he asked calmly, meeting Orton's lifeless eyes.

Orton flinched and looked away.

"It's not like that."

"No?" Shane asked coldly. "Tell us, how is it like? Because from where I'm standing it's like you think Katrina is some kind of whore."

Orton flinched again.

"She's not a whore," Orton said hoarsely.

"You called her that and a lot of other things when you called me. Or have you forgotten?" Vince said, walking over to the spacious sitting area of the large suite and sitting down.

"I was drunk and angry," Randy said. "I don't remember half of what I said but I know I say a lot of shit when I'm angry. I'm sorry. Katrina's not a whore."

"That's it? You think that's all it'll take to get you out of this?" Shawn asked. "A pretty little apology?"

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

"How about we start from the beginning? Take a seat, Randall," Vince said.

Randy looked at them in turn then let out a breath as he walked to sit on a chair opposite Vince.

Hunter left his post in front of the door to stand behind him, just in case. He'd had to search Shane in case he was concealing weapons – he couldn't put it past that guy.

"So. Tell us again. Why are you sleeping with Katrina?"

* * *

Randy let out a breath and leaned back in the chair, his eyes closed.

Why had something that had been such a simple and brilliant idea turned into a pile of shit?

"Because from the moment I met her she's been all I've wanted," he answered, his voice barely audible.

"Oh, stop with all that cheese," Shawn snapped. "Just tell us why you would think it's a good idea? You're getting married soon!"

His chest tightened. He was getting married. To his pregnant fiancé.

"Did you not know she's our family?" Shane asked.

"I did."

"So what in the hell were you thinking?" Shawn asked.

He could still remember the first time he had seen her. After only a minute of watching her he'd decided he was going to fuck her. Only it had taken him a lot longer than he'd expected to get her into bed. And in all that time that he'd spent luring her into all sorts of debauchery, Katrina had somehow insured she'd become more important than the other girls. And rightfully so because fucking her turned out to be one of the best experiences of his life.

It was easy to admit now. Katrina meant something to him.

"I couldn't help myself," he started, leaning forward and lowering his head so he wouldn't have to look at any of them. "I saw her and that was it. Now she's left me and it..."

It hurt to breathe.

He leaned back in his chair and looked down at his entwined hands without bothering to finish that sentence out loud

"So she figured out you're just a little shit who doesn't give a fuck about anyone else and left you?" Shane asked.

His chest tightened again. It would do no good explaining that in the beginning she had been completely happy with their arrangement, too.

"Yes," he answered.

"You're admitting you don't give a fuck?" Shawn asked.

"Oh, I give a fuck," he answered with a grunt. "That's the fucking problem."

"You think there's something wrong with caring for Katrina?" Hunter asked.

There was steel in his calm voice. He looked the Cerebral Assassin straight in the eye and saw the anger, the coldness. It was funny how all along he had told Katrina how his family would never accept her, when it was clear he would never ever be accepted by hers. But unlike him, she had never rubbed that fact in his face.

"Yes," he answered with steel in his voice, too. "Because if I didn't feel like this I wouldn't be sitting here with all my plans turned to shit and no clue what the fuck I'm going to do about it. I wouldn't give a fuck that Hardy's mouth and hands are all over her, and I sure as well wouldn't have been thinking of the best way to dispose of his cold, lifeless body."

There was silence in the room after that.

"You're in love with Katrina," Vince stated after the pause.

* * *

Katrina sat on the plush, padded bench that overlooked the city from the side of the roof, away from all the action. She should have expected it. Of course Randy would want babies. And she couldn't give him any. If she had thought ahead she would never have started the relationship at all.

"Here," Jeff said as he handed her a large Jack Daniels then sat down next to her.

She'd cordoned off a VIP section at the end of one side of the roof. The bench was semi-private, hidden behind the bar. The main part of the roof had a pool, plenty of sitting areas where some people had already made themselves comfortable and there were even a couple of little fountains somewhere in the manicured greenery of the gardens. She hadn't felt like looking around after the bombshell Maria had dropped.

"I'm sorry Kitty Kat," Jeff said. "I never saw that coming."

"It's for the best. At least now Randy will stick with Maria, right?"

"That's not what I wanted. He should have been on his knees, begging you to take him back, promising you the world. Not making babies with that evil cow."

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it now. Life sucks. Everytime you deal with one situation it throws another load of shit on you. You just have to deal with it and move on to the next one," she muttered. "And then you do it over and over again until you die."

Made her wonder what the whole point was. Why bother with anything if it was all going to fuck up anyway?

She drank her whiskey all at once and held out her glass for Jeff to get her another one. He returned a short time later with a whole bottle and some ice.

"Let's get drunk and forget this shit ever happened," she suggested as she grabbed the bottle and poured herself a generous helping.

"We can't just get drunk. Let's talk about this," Jeff said.

"We _can_ just get drunk," she insisted. "At least I can. Tell me Jeff; what do _you_ do when you feel like shit? What do you do when you hurt so bad you just want to curl up and die?"

She blinked back some tears. Now wasn't the time.

"I kiss you," Jeff answered quietly.

She raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Well, you can kiss me all you want tonight, baby. But I'm still getting my drink on."

"Pretending something didn't happen doesn't make it go away," Jeff said.

"Look who's talking. You've done nothing but pretend since yesterday," she said.

"Because I'm over that lying, cheating bitch."

"Right. And I'm over Randy. So let's drink and have a good time."

"Okay, so I'm not over her. I'm trying to be strong for you. I was doing all of this for you, because you deserve a lot better than... than what Orton has given you."

"You're trying to be strong for me? Well, I'm being strong for you," she said with a snort. "So here's to being fucking strong."

She clinked her glass against his, gulped down her drink again then stood up. She'd had a little stage set up for the Karaoke machine and some instruments at the end of her little enclosure. When she'd seen it she'd been a bit annoyed that it was exposed to everyone else but she didn't even notice that now. The 'rib station' was to the side of it. All the ribs she could eat, someone had instructions to keep topping them up. Only now she felt like if she ate a single one she'd choke on it. She picked up the electric guitar and picked a song on the Karaoke machine. Then she turned to face the city of LA. She probably looked ridiculous standing there in a designer evening dress and the guitar, but she didn't care.

"To all the people we've loved and lost, I say fuck 'em," she said just before she hit the first notes of the song.

* * *

Hunter made his way across the room, greeting people and smiling when required. He dodged Steph when he saw her on the dancefloor because his wife would want to know what was going on. He couldn't tell her anything until Randy was safely on a plane back to his house. Everybody thought he was scary but his wife would rip Randy's dick off and make him eat it for getting Katrina into such a mess. He hadn't expected what Randy had told them. And now he didn't know whether to feel sorry for the boy or just thump him in the head.

He would decide on that later. What he needed to do now was find out Katrina's side of the story. He knew now that Randy was the reason she had been acting weird lately but the question was why? Was she in love with him? Or had she got with Randy only because she had felt she was ready after such a terrible past? He wished it was the latter. He really didn't want her to be in love with a man with such a bad reputation with women, even if he was in love with her.

And he didn't want her with Jeff either. Randy believed she was with Jeff now, that Jeff had been flaunting her in his face and the reason he'd had the black eye was because he had kissed Katrina behind Jeff's back. He didn't know what the fuck was going on there. Jeff would protect Katrina with everything he had. He would have done that even before he knew about Grace. So how had he let this situation get out of hand? How had he let her get with Randy in the first place? And why the hell was he still kissing her after the warning Shawn had given him the first time?

"Hey, Matt. You seen Jeff and Katrina?"

"They've gone outside," Matt answered.

Of course. He'd forgotten about the little hiding place she'd carved out for herself.

Just as he made it outside, loud notes to a rock song started playing. With a few of the people who had been smoking outside, he followed the sound until he stood right in front of Katrina's barricade with its silly 'VIP Only' sign. She had her back to them as she played her guitar.

Then her voice rang out loud and clear.

_Well, it's midnight, damn right, we're wound up too tight.  
I've got a fist full of whiskey, the bottle just bit me.  
Oooooh,  
That shit makes me bat shit crazy.  
We've got no fear, no doubt, all in, balls out._

Vince came to stand next to him, and when he looked back he saw no sign of Shawn or Shane. He really hoped they weren't doing anything stupid to Randy.

_We're going off tonight;  
to kick out every light,  
take anything we want,  
drink everything in sight.  
We're going till the world stops turning,  
while we burn it to the ground tonight._

Jeff was sitting on a bench along the wall and it was clear the man was miserable, too.

"I like this song," Vince said. "Sounds like something we should use on Raw."

"Really? That's what you're thinking right now?" he asked his father-in-law.

_We're screaming like demons, swinging from the ceiling.  
I got a fist full of fifties, tequila just hit me.  
Oooooh,  
We got no class, no taste, no shirt and shit faced.  
We got it lined up, shot down, firing back straight crown._

Katrina played the guitar solo. He didn't need to see her face to know that she was angry. Very angry. He could feel it emanating from her in waves. Angry about Maria being pregnant? Then that would mean she was in love with Randy.

Shit.

When she finally played the last note, she carelessly dropped the guitar and walked to Jeff without even a glance backwards. Vince and the few people that were watching clapped their hands, Vince more enthusiastically than the rest, but she ignored them as she took Jeff's drink and gulped it down.

Then she met his eyes briefly and he had to take a step back. He hadn't seen that much pain in them since... since those hellish months when after she had turned up on his doorstep looking like death.

* * *

"This shit ain't workin'," Katrina said. "Pucker up."

Jeff watched as she tossed the glass aside and leaned forward to kiss him. He didn't resist because in Katrina's current mood, he knew resistance would have been futile.

"Are you trying to get me killed?" he asked against her lips.

He resisted the urge to deepen the kiss, or to sigh in satisfaction that her lips were on his again. Now wasn't the time. She wasn't dealing with the situation the way she should have, but there was nothing he could say about that because he wasn't dealing with his situation either.

She laughed as she let go of him and sat down next to him.

"Can I come in?"

He met Hunter's eyes but The Game didn't look angry, though.

"Do you have a ticket?" Katrina asked.

"What?"

"No ticket, no entry. VIP only up in here," Kat said as she put her head down on his shoulder.

Then she started nibbling his ear, something they had never done before all the times they had kissed. He swallowed a moan as his eyes flew to Hunter's. Katrina was behaving out of character, but Hunter couldn't blame him for that, could he?

"You know, some people will want to have a turn on the Karaoke, too," Vince said.

"You don't come to an expensive party in your expensive clothes, meet expensive people, eat their expensive shit and still expect to do a bit of Karaoke. That's crazy," Katrina said, still nibbling his ear. "Isn't it crazy, Jeff?"

When he didn't answer she gave him a nudge.

"Insane," he agreed.

Hunter was still looking at him. And Vince was glaring.

"I bet they'll be asking for ribs next," Kat said with a laugh.

When the two men didn't look away from him, he gently pushed Katrina away and reached for his drink.

"Spoil sport," Kat chuckled.

Hunter walked in anyway and came to sit on the other side of her.

"I... I talked to Randy," he started.

Katrina rolled her eyes and leaned her head back in the seat.

"What did he say?" she asked.

"He told me everything. Why didn't you tell me, Katrina?"

She chuckled.

"I didn't tell you for a lot of reasons; the biggest one being you would have killed him. But it's over now so there's no need for you to go all hyper-protective," she said.

"Except it's not really over, is it? You're in love with him," Hunter said.

"Fat lot of good that's doing me," Katrina mumbled.

"Maybe he'll work things out. Maybe_"

"Maybe nothing. I'm done," she said as she stood up. "I think I'm ready for another song."

They watched her walk onto the little stage and pick another loud song.

"What are you doing, Jeff?"

He sighed and looked at Hunter.

"I don't know."

"Randy said she's your girlfriend now."

"No. It was just... we were pretending."

Only now it seemed the lines were all blurred. He'd been kissing her because he wanted to. Needed to.

"Pretending?"

"I thought Randy would get jealous and realise how he feels about her. I thought I could... fix things."

Hunter sighed and sat back.

"That's what it's really about, isn't it? Grace?" he asked. "You can't _fix_ things. That's not the way to deal with that situation, Jeff."

He chuckled mirthlessly.

"I'm not dealing with anything at all."

Hunter looked at him then at Katrina as she rocked away and sighed.

"None of you are," he said sadly as he stood up. "Look out for her, Jeff. I need to get back to the party; there are some people who want to see me. I'll try to talk to her again later."

He nodded and watched Hunter walk back to the barricade. Then he turned his attention back to Katrina with a frown on his face. Could he fix this for her? Had everything gone to waste? If it had, if Randy was going to walk away from her forever, then maybe he didn't deserve her after all. Maybe he had been a fool to trust such a fragile heart with a cold man like that.

Maybe all of this was his fault for giving her hope in the first place. He should have let her walk away when she'd wanted to, then maybe she wouldn't have been hurting so much.

When she finished her song, she walked to him, her intentions clearly written on her face.

She kissed him again, this time more urgently. This time he couldn't suppress the satisfied sound that came from the back of his throat.

She paused slightly when she heard it but then she deepened the kiss, pushing him back with the force of it and allowing her to straddle him. And the slit at the front of her dress allowed her smooth thighs to tightly grip his hips. He brought his hands to her hips, gripping onto them as his world started spinning and he lost all sense of time. She had some sort of magic, he was sure of it. A kiss, just a kiss... yet it made everything right.

He almost protested when she finally lifted her head up.

"You're right," Katrina whispered. "Kissing you is a lot better than alcohol. Tell me how it makes you feel."

"Kissing you? I don't know. You taste good. Your lips are so soft but the moment they touch mine there's something almost... dangerous... almost lethal that pulls me in, turns me inside out... makes me forget everything," he admitted, looking into her eyes. "And I like it."

"I can tell," she said with a naughty smile, wriggling her butt a little.

He swallowed. She was bare. And she was right on his hard dick. He'd tried not to let her see him like this the other times they had kissed because then they would have had to acknowledge something had changed in their relationship, even if it was only on a physical level. She would have freaked out. She would probably have become uncomfortable around him. But tonight she seemed okay with it.

In fact, she seemed more than alright. He watched her smile widen.

"I like it, too," she admitted.

Then she brought her lips down to his again.

It was different this time. Instead of just her lips, she used her whole body, pressing and grinding into him. He could feel her firm breasts against his chest. He could feel the heat where he was firmly nestled. Helplessly, instead of just gripping her hips, he used them to hold her down. He was aware they had crossed another line in their friendship. And he was aware that if Katrina hadn't been hurting so much, dry humping in public would have been a big no, even if they were semi-hidden.

But he could feel her pain, and mixed with his own, it made him not really care about anybody else. She needed this. He needed it. This moment where they did nothing but feel. The blood rushing through his body... the heat of her body... the incredible sensations created by her lips...

When she lifted her head again, this time he protested and pulled her back to kiss her along her jaw and her neck. He was still holding her down, still desperately pressing himself against her naked flesh.

"How could Angela let you go?" she asked softly, breathlessly. "You were the perfect boyfriend. Loyal, loving... How could she throw all of that away?"

The mention of that witch's name brought him back down to earth. He didn't want to talk about her. He didn't want to think about her. He lifted his head from her neck and looked into his friend's eyes to tell her this but when he saw the pain in them he stopped. If she needed to talk, he'd talk.

"And you were the perfect girlfriend. I could kill Randy for hurting you like this," he whispered.

"Randy was... I've never felt like this for anyone, like I'll die without him. I've been through so much shit that giving him my heart was probably the hardest and scariest thing that I've ever had to do," she said.

Then his heart broke for her when silent tears fell down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Kitty Kat," he whispered.

She wiped her tears and got off him.

"I'll be alright," she said, smoothing her dress before she walked to her little stage again.

He sat back and released a steadying breath. Only things weren't so steady anymore. His eyes slowly travelled the length of her body again as she looked through the song list and his head was suddenly filled with so many possibilities.

Something in the crowd caught her attention and when he stood up to look, he saw Randy leaning against the railing with his head down and a cigarette in his hand.

Then Katrina started singing and had his attention again.

_You've been on my mind  
I grow fonder every day,  
Lose myself in time  
Just thinking of your face  
God only knows  
Why it's taken me so long  
To let my doubts go  
You're the only one that I want_

He walked closer to the stage, loving the sound of her voice. She had her eyes closed as she poured her heart out but he really hoped Randy knew it was meant for him.

_I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before._  
_Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all._  
_You never know if you never try_  
_To forgive your past and simply be mine_

_I dare you to let me be your, your one and only  
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms  
So come on and give me the chance  
To prove that I'm the one who can  
Walk that mile until the end starts_

He looked at Randy again and he seemed frozen to the spot, his eyes glued on Katrina as her husky voice hit every note of that song perfectly. It was a fitting song. A challenge. And if Randy didn't step up, he was going to beat the shit out of him.

* * *

"_You're in love with her."_

Vince's words rang through his head over and over again. They were words he hadn't wanted to hear before from John. They were unwelcome words. But they had him trying to make sense of his actions the past few months, especially since Katrina had left him.

Love? Everyone knew he wasn't capable of it. So he was hurting because Katrina had left him. He was hurting because he wanted to be with her so bad but now he probably wouldn't be able to. He was hurting because when he pictured himself as an old man, it wasn't Maria he saw next to him; it was Katrina. That didn't mean he was in love.

But what if..?

Then he heard her voice and looked up to see the object of his every dream and thought.

His breath caught. She looked so beautiful, and as her voice washed over him he heard the words and his chest tightened even more.

_Have I been on your mind  
Do you hang on every word I say, lose yourself in time  
At the mention of my name,  
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close?  
And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go._

Love.

Katrina's eyes opened and her gaze met his. She didn't look away.

The cigarette fell from his fingers as he took a deep, painful breath.

_I know it ain't easy  
Giving up your heart  
I know it ain't easy  
Giving up your heart_

_Nobody's perfect, trust me I've learnt it  
Nobody's perfect, trust me I've learnt it_

He was in love.

"There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere."

He didn't take his eyes off Katrina as Maria came to stand next to him so he saw the look on her face, saw the pain. And he didn't want it there.

As Katrina finished singing, he took a deep breath and turned to Maria.

"We need to talk," he said.

* * *

Karina watched Randy walk away with his future wife and bit her lip to stop herself from crying out. Even after bearing her heart she still wasn't good enough for him. She walked slowly to Jeff, trying to contain herself, trying to stop the tears from falling.

"Make it go away, Jeff," she whispered.

Jeff pulled her to him and pressed his lips to hers.

"Tell me what you need me to do," he whispered.

She stood on her toes to kiss him along the jaw as he had done to her. Then she pressed her body to the hard planes of his, hoping that he would get the message. She didn't want to hurt like this anymore.

"Are you sure?" Jeff whispered.

She nodded her head.

Jeff took her hand and slowly led her out of their VIP section.

* * *

**Bad decisions have just been made... lol**

**Thank you for all your reviews. It's not over yet, trust me. Enjoy.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Sorry it took a while. Was trying my hand at NaNoWriMo. But I think we all know I wasn't going to write 50K words in 30 days. Enjoy.**

Jeff closed the door then turned around to look at Katrina. She stood with her back to him but he could tell she was nervous. The walk to their room must have cleared her head a little, too.

"We don't have to do this," he said softly.

Kitty Kat turned around, tears falling down her cheeks. She threw her purse on the closest chair then undid the halter neck of her dress.

"Yes we do," she whispered.

He swallowed as he watched the silk slide down her sinful curves until it pooled at her feet. Then he let his eyes travel slowly up the smooth, shapely legs to the clean shaven triangle between them.

He swallowed again. He'd seen her naked before, but never that part of her. He'd never even been tempted to. But now... He wondered how she'd feel about a little chocolate sauce...

He forced his eyes to continue up her gorgeous body; past those incredible hips and toned stomach to her firm breasts. In nothing but her heels and diamonds, she was exactly as he had imagined at the beginning of the night. The lines and curves imprisoned him again, owned him. But this time he was looking at them in a different light. This time he was thinking of creating an entirely different sort of art.

His eyes heavy with need and longing, he finally met her silver gaze. The tears had stopped flowing and she seemed to be studying his reactions. But she was detached, like she was watching this from a safe place inside her head.

_Grace_.

His heart slammed in his chest. He didn't want to make love to Grace, he wanted Katrina. He wanted her body as well as her mind. He didn't want meaningless sex...

He looked away from the temptation she presented and cleared his throat.

"You've had too much to drink_"

"I'm sober," Kitty Kat cut in.

He knew she was. She hadn't had as much to drink as she normally did. Still, he didn't turn back to her.

"You don't want me, either," Kat stated heavily.

He whirled around to her. She had seen what just looking at her had done to him, how could she even think that?

Fresh tears were silently flowing down her cheeks as she used one arm to cover her chest and put her other hand over her shaven flesh.

"Of course I want you," he said as he slowly advanced on her. "But you have to want me, too. Otherwise you'll wake up tomorrow feeling like shit and we'd have crossed this line for nothing."

He stopped right in front of her and gently moved the arm covering her breasts. Then he let his fingers trail down the other arm until they joined her fingers at the apex of her legs. He met her eyes then gently applied pressure, manipulated her fingers so she was touching herself.

A little gasp left her mouth and her eyes darkened to a stormy blue. He mentally thanked the gods. He didn't want to stop doing this. He didn't want to stop discovering the delights of her body. With his other hand, he used the tips of his fingers to ghost over her neck and shoulder till he finally reached her breast and the rosy tip he suddenly, desperately wanted to put in his mouth. But he didn't. They had a long way to go before she responded to him the way he wanted.

He let go of her fingers. Though she didn't protest, he could see in her eyes that she hadn't wanted him to stop.

That wasn't good enough. Before the end of the night she'd be screaming, begging for his possession. And only then would he give her what they both wanted.

"Go wait for me on that rug. I just need to grab some stuff," he said.

There was a thick Persian rug between the two luxurious couches in the sitting area. They would start there. The light from one of the two lamps on the little side tables at the end of the chairs was soft enough to provide an intimate atmosphere. Only when she was ready for him would he take her to the more intimate setting of the bedroom.

Katrina nodded then turned without a word.

He bit his lip as he watched her bare bottom as she gracefully walked to the middle of the suite. Only when she had knelt on the rug did he move.

He took his jacket off but nothing else, not even his tie. He would let Katrina take them off for him when she was ready.

He walked to the kitchen area, aware of Katrina's gaze on him the whole time, and inspected the contents of the fridge. He grinned when he saw some chocolate sauce as well as whipped cream. Then he took out a bottle of champagne, too. No glasses. They didn't need them. He was going to drink it from Katrina's body. And she would drink it from his.

He put everything on a side table and switched on the lamp before he walked back to the door and switched the ceiling lights off. Then he looked back at her. He bit his lip to stop himself from groaning out loud. He loved painting or sketching her in this light; her body cast shadows in all the right places while the rest of it glowed in a delicious golden tone. But knowing that tonight he could put his lips on those curves; that he could taste her... It blew his mind.

Rock hard and with his heart hammering his chest, he slowly advanced on her. Nothing else mattered now except finally sinking into her beautiful flesh.

* * *

"How could you be so stupid? You should have told me first, not announced it to the whole fucking world."

Randy didn't even wait for the door to close before he turned to lay into Maria.

"It's not that bad_"

"Oh, you don't think so? My father now thinks you're a cheap whore!"

He walked past her until he got to the kitchen then poured himself a generous helping of the whiskey he'd left there earlier.

"You think he doesn't know we sleep together?" Maria asked.

"Of course he knows. But he's old fashioned. As long as it doesn't happen under his nose, he pretends shit like that doesn't happen," he said as he took his drink to the sitting area. "But that's not the point. Why didn't you tell me first? I'm the fucking father, aren't I?"

"Of course you are," Maria said as she walked to sit opposite him. "I wanted to surprise you. I thought you'd be pleased."

He put his drink down and let out a deep breath. This was so fucked up.

"And your father can't be _that_ upset," Maria continued. "He and your mother have gone back to their rooms but he congratulated me and told me he'd see us for Christmas dinner."

Because it was too late to take back the invitation, not because he was happy about it. But he didn't want to think about his father right now.

"So when are you due?" he asked.

"Um... I don't know yet."

Of course. They'd been so busy lately she probably hadn't had time to go to the doctor's.

"Which pregnancy test did you buy? You know they do certain ones that tell you how far along you are?"

"Um... I haven't done a test either."

He slowly lifted his head to look at the woman.

No doctor and no test?

And still she'd had the nerve to stand up in front of everyone and tell them there was to be a new addition to the family?

In front of Katrina?

He felt anger well up inside him but he forced himself to calm down. Maria had to have a good explanation for this.

"So how do you know you're pregnant?"

Maria smiled from ear to ear.

"A woman knows these things."

What. The. Fuck? As he looked at her face he thought there was a chance Maria was 'simple'. Why else would anyone do what she had done?

"Are you fucking insane? _A woman knows these things_?"

Maria didn't even flinch at the tone of his voice.

"Well, I'm late_"

"How late?" he cut in.

"Three days_"

He got up without hearing another word and headed for the door. If he stayed any longer he'd kill the dumb bitch.

"Honey, where are you going?"

At the door he turned.

"I'm going to buy you a fucking pregnancy test. When I get back you'll pee on that stick, and pray that you're fucking pregnant."

He didn't wait to hear her protest as he slammed the door behind him.

* * *

"Do you want me to get it?"

Randy looked at John then nodded. He had been so angry that he'd had to call John to drive him to the nearest pharmacy. Then he'd had to explain to his friend why he needed the pregnancy test in the first place.

When John got back into the car, he handed him the paper bag with the contents that would reveal if his life changed forever.

"What will you do if it's positive?" John asked as he drove them back.

"I'll take care of my child," he answered. "But I want to be with Katrina. I'm going to be with Katrina."

He let out a breath as he said it out loud. After tonight, he really didn't give a shit about what his father thought anymore. He'd wasted enough of life trying to please him.

"I think she's faking it," John said.

"Why would she do something like that? I was already marrying her."

"You couldn't take your eyes off Katrina all night. If I noticed it, I bet Maria did, too. Maybe that's why she was trashing her."

"I don't think she'd be so stupid."

"Oh, I think Maria's very, very stupid," John said. "And you know she doesn't like Katrina. You sent her away so you could be with Katrina last time we went out."

"Yeah, but she doesn't know that."

"You sure about that?"

"I've kept Katrina a secret for months_"

"The cat always comes out of the bag."

If Maria knew about Katrina she would have said something. Wouldn't she? Maybe not. The woman was marrying him even though she didn't love him. He still hadn't figured out why. But wouldn't that mean she would look the other way from his indiscretions to get what she wanted?

"Can I sleep on your couch tonight?"

He didn't want to spend another second more with Maria.

"Sure," John said. "You're going to end things with Maria?"

"I've got no choice. I'm in love with Katrina," he said.

Admitting it felt so good. He didn't know if it would last but he knew he had never felt this way for anybody before.

"I know," John said.

He glanced over at his friend and saw a smile on his face.

"I think she serenaded me tonight. Or I _hope_ she did."

Maybe what he'd seen in her eyes as she'd sang that song was a figment of his imagination. If it was then was he still willing to turn his life upside down for a relationship that might never be?

"I know. I was there."

He let out a breath as all sorts of scenarios ran through his mind. The worst one was she wouldn't want to be with him because he'd hurt her too much.

"I can't do this. I'm a dick. She knows I'm a dick. If I tell her how I feel she'll slam the door in my face."

"Then you keep telling her until she doesn't slam the door in your face," John said.

"That easy, huh?"

"Yep," John said as he parked the car.

"You know; for someone who likes to preach to me for hours about the virtues of love and commitment, you're not really helping right now," he frowned.

John chuckled.

"What do you want me to say? You're in love and it's a good thing. Maybe now you won't be the dick your father tells you to be but the man you really are. The man I know you are deep, deep, deep down," John grinned.

"Very funny," he said as they walked into the hotel. "Could you find out which room Katrina's in? I'll come to your room as soon as I can."

He left John and took the stairs to his floor. He paused briefly at the door and took a breath. If the tests were positive then leaving his fiancé would be the hardest decision he'd ever made, not only because he'd lose everything he'd worked for but also because he would be the absentee father he swore he would never be.

* * *

She felt the tension building up and her and sunk her fingers into the rug as she arched her back. She tried to move her hips up, to offer Jeff a lot more than he was taking but he held her down and continued with his slow torture.

Every part of her body felt alive. She'd been blissfully mindless since Jeff had subjected her to a whole different type of massage with his mouth as well as his hands. He had relaxed her nerves while simultaneously winding her up tighter than a coil. He hadn't done much but she felt ready to explode. For a change, there were no power struggles. Jeff was in control and she liked it. She liked his tongue. Oh, his tongue.

She bit down on a moan as she felt it lick off the chocolate sauce from the inside of her thigh. She'd always told him his hands were magic but his tongue was in a league of its own.

"This chocolate sauce tastes so good," Jeff said with a little grin as he lifted his head from her and reached for the sauce again. "I want more."

Oh, and he could have it.

"I want a little bit here."

She watched the brown sauce drip onto one nipple and then the other. The tension in her body rose a little

"And here."

She watched as the sauce left a trail down the middle of her stomach and then pooled in her naval.

"And definitely here."

Her breath caught as she felt the cool sauce between her legs. She looked up into his piercing eyes as they watched her through hooded lids. He'd caught every reaction, every subtle movement she made from the very beginning. He was intense, and every little moan he managed to get from her seemed to bring him some satisfaction. She knew why. Before he'd even touched her he'd told her that he was going to make her beg.

He was right between her legs with the perfect view of her most private part. Wasn't that begging enough? She was spread out like some sort of feast for him, completely naked while he still had all his clothes on yet that fact only heightened her anticipation.

He put the sauce down without breaking eye contact. If she hadn't known how much he wanted her by looking at the fire in his green eyes she would have felt it when he looked down at her body again. She had no idea why her body fascinated him so much but tonight was different. The way he was looking at her was different. As his eyes followed the trail of chocolate the intensity of his gaze consumed her, burnt her, made her clutch the rug again.

When his eyes finally settled between her legs she unconsciously arched her back again.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me right now?" he whispered.

She inhaled sharply when she felt the tip of his finger between her legs. This time she didn't hold her moan back, or the way her legs wrapped themselves around his hips to draw him closer. Then she watched, mesmerised, as he brought his finger to his lips and sucked the chocolate sauce off it.

She forgot to breathe.

"Jeff..."

Then she forgot what she was about to say when he rose above her and put a nipple in his mouth. He was so thorough and precise as he licked and sucked every drop of sauce on it before he moved on to the next one. And all she could do was helplessly clutch his hair and moan her pleasure. By the time he'd licked and kissed his way down the trail of chocolate to where she desperately needed him she couldn't stop the scream that came from her mouth. She couldn't stop the violent reaction that started as soon as his tongue started probing, licking and sucking.

Wave after wave of pleasure.

Intense pleasure.

And all she could do was hopelessly call out his name over and over again.

* * *

"Isn't this exciting?"

Randy looked at Maria as she sat next to him on the bed, clutching his arm. Exciting? No.

"What will we call him?"

He frowned. She was already thinking names?

"Let's wait until we know for sure first, okay?" he said as he looked down at his watch.

He had no reason to be nasty. The girl had enough problems.

"Can you tell me honestly why you announced it like that, though?" he asked.

Some of the smile left her face briefly but it quickly came back and she said, "I thought you'd be pleased."

But he had already seen through it. Maybe she had an agenda like John had suggested. It didn't matter now, anyway.

He let out a breath as he looked at his watch again. It was time. Quickly he shook Maria's arm off his own and walked into the adjoining bathroom. He'd bought four tests just to be absolutely sure and all of them were lined up on the surface next to the sink.

He paused for a moment in front of them, giving one last prayer. Then when he was ready he looked down.

Not pregnant. Not pregnant. Not pregnant. Not pregnant.

Relief flooded his body as he let out a delighted chuckle.

"We're pregnant?" Maria asked from behind him.

He turned around, a huge smile on his face as he regarded his anxious fiancé. She had a tentative smile on her face, as if she'd actually expected him to be jumping for joy for a positive result.

"No," he answered, and then grinned when her face fell and confusion filled her eyes.

"It was too soon anyway, wasn't it?" she said, avoiding his eyes as she walked out of the bathroom again. "Maybe we can try after the wedding."

Something told him she knew what was coming. Her whole demeanour had changed as she opened a drawer and pulled something out. She seemed nervous.

He folded his arms as he leaned against the doorframe and watched her.

"I know you're disappointed, but I can make you feel better," she continued as she laid something on the bed.

When he looked down at it he saw it was some sort of lacy lingerie. He knew how she planned to make him feel better, and no way in hell was that ever happening again.

"Tell me again. Why did you lie about the pregnancy?"

This time she didn't even bother pretending to put a smile on her face. She paused in the act of taking her earrings off and turned to face him. Something in her had changed again, she seemed harder.

"Do you really need to ask?" she said as she continued taking her jewellery off.

Her voice was cool and calm, a far cry from the annoying high and cheerful pitch it was normally stuck on. Her movements weren't even jerky anymore. It was like she was someone else completely. It was almost fascinating.

"Tell me," he said.

It was even more fascinating when she turned around to face him, her eyes spitting fire at him. He almost chuckled. Who the fuck did she think she was?

"What does she have that I don't?" she asked.

_He could write a book! But that's a stupid question. What does she have that you don't? Have you seen the tits on that girl?_

With a chuckle he headed straight for the wardrobe. The voice didn't plague him as much these days but when he did hear it they were on the same page for a change. And as much as he wanted to know what exactly Maria thought she'd achieve by lying about the pregnancy, he had more important things to do right now.

_That's right Randall. You're a lover, not a fighter. So let's lose this frigid bitch and go have some real sex._

"I come from a good family. I look after my body. I've been raised right. We're getting married!" Maria shouted. "What more do you want from me?"

"I don't want to fight, Maria," he said as he pulled his suitcase out of the wardrobe.

"She's slept with half the men here and still you'd risk your health and your reputation?"

"I think you've got that wrong somewhere. As far as I know, it's you who's actually slept with all of the men here," he said as he threw his clothes into the case. "Maybe we should talk about that."

"Those are all lies! I have more respect for myself than that," Maria spat out.

"Uh huh," he answered as he zipped his bag up. "It doesn't matter anyway. That never bothered me."

"So why are you doing this?"

He put his bag down and looked at Maria again.

"Why did you want to marry me?"

"What do you mean? We're perfect together."

"No we're not," he said as pulled the handle of his case out. "I made you miserable. And I really, really hated sleeping with you. I know why I stayed with you but I could never figure out why you never just left."

"Because I love you."

He resisted laughing. Maybe she really believed that.

"What is it about me that you love? I'm a dick, ask anyone. I know it's not my money. You might not earn as much as I do but you make enough to keep you in the lifestyle that you like. And your family's loaded anyway. So what is it?"

"I _do_ love you," Maria said as she rushed forward. "If you stay, I can show you that."

"It's over, Maria," he said firmly. "It should never have started in the first place, you know that. If my mother hadn't come that morning, you'd have been just another one night stand."

"I thought we went past all that crap. You started loving me, too. That's why you asked me to marry you!"

He sighed and picked up the handle of his case. He'd never told her about his family. Until tonight when he'd been forced to talk, he'd never told anyone. And there'd never been a need to tell Maria anyway since he'd been welcomed back into the family the moment his father learned of his 'first decent girlfriend'.

"I'll call my mother to stop the wedding preparations," he said. "You can tell your family anything you want if it'll make the situation better for you. But the truth is if I ever get married, it will be because I want to spend the rest of my life with that woman. Not because my father thinks I should. I'm sorry I wasted your time."

_Hehe. You're worrying about Maria's feelings. You crack me up sometimes. But it's good to see you growing a pair of balls, Randall. _

He walked out of the bedroom and out of the suite without another word. By the time he knocked on John's door he had a smile on his face. A smile. It felt so alien but so, _so_ good.

"How did it go?" John said as soon as he'd let him in.

"I'm not going to be a father."

"You're smiling," John stated.

"Yes. I have a reason to for the first time in a long time. My father's going to hear that the wedding's off and flip his shit. And for the first time in my life that doesn't matter. Nothing and nobody else matters to me right now besides Katrina."

"Good for you," John said as he handed him a piece of paper and a key card. "I'm going back to the party. That's her room number. I'll see you later."

He didn't waste any more time. He hoped it wouldn't come down to his father disowning him again because even with all the crap he'd been put through he loved the man. He loved his family. But all of his plans come in the way of what he'd had with Katrina. If only he'd opened his eyes a lot sooner. If only he had been able to recognise what he felt for her sooner.

As he got off the elevator and approached her door he slowed down. What would he say? Would a simple, 'I'm in love with you,' work? He'd never had to analyse and talk about feelings but he would if she wanted him too. He'd be honest with her. He'd tell her why he was the way he was, and that it would probably take him a while to adjust. But he could do it if he had her by his side.

He was about to knock when he heard something that froze him in place. His newfound smile dropped from his face as he slowly brought his hand down. His ears easily picked up the familiar low sound. A sound she shouldn't have been making with Hardy, not after she'd sung that song.

He heard the screams and quickly moved back from the door. His chest tightened until it became an unbearable pain.

Then he heard her chanting Hardy's name. Over and over again.

He turned abruptly to return the way he'd come.

* * *

He watched Katrina as she tried to catch her breath. Her eyes were an incredible stormy blue and her cheeks had a faint flush. Her pouty lips were slightly open as tremors continued to rock her body. It had been a while since anybody had reacted to him like that. The past year, touching Angie like this hadn't brought the same results it had in the beginning. Maybe that was when she'd started cheating on him.

He pushed that thought out of his mind as he leaned over her again and caught her lips in his. He was still rock hard, and it hadn't been his intention to make her come like this, without him. But he hadn't been able to resist the temptation.

He lifted himself from her lips and watched her again. Her orgasm had been explosive and incredible to watch. He couldn't wait to have it happen while he was inside her. It would probably shatter him.

"You're way overdressed," Katrina said between breaths.

He knelt back between her legs and smirked down at her. She would have looked incredible if she'd still had all her gorgeous hair and it was spread on the rug. He could understand now why Randy had been upset when she'd cut it.

"We've got all night baby. There's no need to rush."

"You're still waiting for me to beg?"

"You will," he assured her. "Wait till I pull out my bag of tricks."

"What if I just... take what I want?"

The smirk left his face as he watched her rise to her knees. She placed her naked body against him before she put her lips on his neck.

He sucked in a breath as the heat of her mouth undid him. Magic lips. He would maintain that statement until the day he died. Katrina was magical.

A low moan escaped his lips as her mouth trailed his jaw and then finally found his lips. Then thinking became impossible. All he could do was feel. He vaguely felt her fingers undoing his tie. Then he thought he heard something rip and all of her sudden his chest was bare. He pulled her closer to feel her skin on his as her mouth continued to play havoc with his senses.

"Witch..." he muttered against her lips. "How do you do this to me?"

Her answer was to unbuckle his belt and slowly pull the zip of his trousers down. She pulled away from him and he almost protested until he saw the look in her eyes. She was on a power trip. Something in her beautiful eyes told him she loved the power she had over him.

He watched a slow smile form on her lips as she finally lowered her eyes to his pants. He was impossibly hard and straining against his underwear. A relieved breath left him when she hooked his trousers and underwear on her thumbs and slowly freed him.

But it was the look on her face as she looked at his dick that that finally gave everything a near-dreamlike quality. Such raw hunger... He twitched in anticipation as he continued to watch her face. Her lips parted... His heart hammered in his chest as her tongue darted out to wet them.

"Lie back," she whispered.

He did as he was told without question but he was unprepared for the feel of her mouth on his stomach. Or her fingers on his dick. He hissed and involuntarily bucked his hips. He'd never been so sensitised before that the simplest expression, the simplest movement overwhelmed him. Her lips left a trail of fire on his stomach as her hand gripped him. He gripped the rug to stop himself from grabbing her and impaling her on his dick.

Then her mouth was on him. Magic lips. And now they did their magic on his dick.

"Oh, fuck! How..."

How the hell was she doing that? He felt himself slither slowly into her mouth until he hit the back of her throat. Then amazingly he slithered in further. Deeper.

"Fuck..." he repeated, as he brought one hand up and tangled it in her short hair.

He had to fight not to hold her down and continually ram into her. She felt so good. Too good.

But she started to swallow him over and over again and he lost any control he'd still had. With both hands he gripped her hair and held her down while he mindlessly bucked his hips. Deep down her throat, he spilled his seed. Violently. Only moments, yet she'd made him come harder than he'd ever done in his life.

As she lifted herself up, he watched his limp dick slither from her mouth, still twitching and sensitised. His breathing was laboured, his limbs heavy.

She had a smile on her face as she licked her lips and watched him, too. His eyes followed her tongue as his mind struggled to comprehend what she'd just done.

He'd been swallowed whole. Literally. None of his past girlfriends had ever been able to get much of him in their mouths, let alone deep throat him.

And none had ever left him feeling like this. Completely satisfied yet wanting more.

It was voodoo.

* * *

**Next comes The Morning After...**


	28. Chapter 28

He allowed himself only enough time to catch his breath before he ran his hand down her stomach. He half expected her to protest. They hadn't had sex yet but all sorts of things could have been running through her mind as she'd lain quietly beside him on the rug.

But her back arched to follow the movement of his hand, and when he looked into her eyes he knew he shouldn't have worried. She still wanted him.

"I thought you were taking what you wanted?" he asked with a smirk as he lifted himself up onto his elbow and looked down at her. "Or was that all you wanted? Me deep down your throat?"

He circled a nipple lightly and smirked again when she inhaled sharply.

"Did you like having me in your mouth like that? Did it make you wet?" he whispered.

He ghosted his fingers over her stomach until they rested on her smooth shaven centre. Then he let his middle finger dip inside her. A gasp left her lips.

"Oh, yes. That definitely made you wet. Soaking wet," he said on a breath. "Ready for me."

He used his thumb to apply a little pressure where she needed it the most. When she moaned, he felt himself harden.

"Do you want that?" he asked. "Do you want all of me deep down inside of you?"

Her face was mere inches away from his; when she nodded he brought his lips down to nibble her ear. He didn't stop moving his thumb.

"Say it," he whispered. "Tell me you want me."

"Jeff..."

"Say it," he repeated.

"I want you," she whispered.

It wasn't quite begging but it was good enough. In one swift movement he positioned himself between her legs. Then holding her eyes the entire time he slowly sank himself into her, growing even harder as he felt inch after inch of himself swallowed up by her hot flesh. And when he was buried to the hilt he bit back an expletive.

Magic lips.

And a magic pussy.

The whole fucking package.

Her legs wrapped themselves around him and he sank even further.

He'd wanted to take it slow and make the most of what would probably be only one night. But he couldn't stop himself from urgently pumping into her from the very first thrust. Slick... hot... wet... and muscles that had a surprisingly tight grip on him. She felt incredible. And when she met him thrust for thrust, when the sexiest little screams started coming from her lips, he lost his head.

He came inside her harder than the first time, gripped tightly in her flesh as her orgasm overcame her.

He was still trembling long after the earth had stopped moving.

* * *

Tantric sex.

Tantra.

The art of making love that awakened every single sense so much that any gentle stimulation – the gentlest touch, the briefest taste, a mere glimpse, the softest whisper, and the slightest smell of arousal – caused the most violent reactions. Similar to a heavy blow. Maybe with a sledgehammer. Or a truck.

It was the art of love making that stripped one down to the barest, most basic and primitive state; a state ruled only by emotion.

The loss of control was imperative.

It was scary.

It was utter madness.

Yet it was probably one of the most beautiful things she had ever experienced. But as she lay on Jeff's naked chest, sore and completely spent, she couldn't help wishing it had been Randy she'd shared such an experience with.

If only Maria wasn't having his baby... If only she could actually have children... If only she was everything he wanted... If only she didn't have one shitbag of a past to stop her chasing him like she wanted to.

She bit her bottom lip to stop herself from crying. Even if she didn't have Grace in her past, Randy had made his choice and it wasn't her. It hurt like a bitch, but that was the way it needed to be.

"Mornin'."

She looked up to see Jeff watching her. He was wide awake as if he'd been watching her for a while. She looked away quickly and tried to put some space between them but Jeff tightened his arms around her.

"Don't do that."

"What?" she asked.

"Don't look away from me."

What was she supposed to do? They'd spent the whole night fucking and had probably ruined their relationship. And it was her fault. She'd asked for it.

"Kitty Kat," Jeff said.

She still didn't look up at him. Her chest tightened as it dawned on her that she'd made one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Jeff was special to her. Her relationship with Jeff was the only one she'd had that hadn't been tainted by sex or Grace. How could she have been so stupid to mess that up? _What had she done_?

"Kat, look at me. Please," Jeff said.

"I can't," she whispered, then felt a tear roll down the side of her face.

She was too late to stop it landing on Jeff's chest. And she didn't even bother trying to stop the ones that followed.

"Kitty, don't cry," Jeff said.

His arms tightened around her again and she felt his lips on the top of her head. The tears flowed more freely. Even an embrace – the pure human touch that she'd craved so much from him – took on a different meaning.

"Listen to me," Jeff said firmly. "You're my best friend. We're both hurting but for one night we were each other's solace. We made magic. It doesn't have to go any further than that. Nothing has to change."

"Everything's already changed! Every time I see you I'll remember what we did," she sniffed. "It's not supposed to be like that. You were... safe."

"I still am. I'd never hurt you or do anything you don't want me to," Jeff said as he sat up on the bed and pulled her up with him.

She was still trying not to look at him, especially considering they were both naked under the sheets, but he used his hand to gently force her to meet his eyes.

"I'm your friend for life, you hear me?" Jeff said as he wiped her tears away. "Last night we forgot all the shit we're going through. It was just you and me. Just two friends comforting each other. Close friends getting closer. There's nothing wrong with that."

"You sleep with all your friends, do you?" she snorted.

"I don't trust anybody else the way I trust you," Jeff admitted. "And last night involved a whole lot of trust. You still trust me, don't you?"

She sighed and nodded her head. If only he knew how much. If only he knew just how hard it had been to trust him like that.

"Good. Now what do you say to a quickie before breakfast?"

"Jeff!"

"I'm kidding," Jeff chuckled as he pulled her into a hug again.

How could he joke like that, like everything was still the same? If he thought they could be the way they'd been before then he was completely naive.

She pulled away from him and made sure the sheet completely covered her before she met his eyes.

"Did last night make you feel any better?" she asked.

The smile left his face and she saw the sadness she'd seen the past few weeks dull his eyes again.

"Yes. It was amazing. Beautiful. Then it was over and all I could do was lie here and imagine it was Angie lying next to me," he answered softly. "Did it work for you?"

"For a little while. Now I feel worse than I did last night because I know I've lost you, too."

"I've told you this before. You'll never lose me. I'll never walk out of your life," Jeff said. "But I know you don't believe me so I'm just going to let my actions do the talking. Whatever happens with you and Randy, and with me and Angie, I'll always, _always_ be here for you."

"Don't you realise what's happened? When you talk to Angie now, I know you're going to come clean. It would have been alright before because we hadn't done anything like this. But now you're going to tell her we fucked and it'll hurt her. She'll either walk out on you for good or she'll ask you to choose."

"I'm not going to choose. She's been cheating all this time; I really don't think she has any say on this."

She shook her head and looked away. He was being naive again.

"I mean it, Kitty Kat. I'll come clean about everything but she's going to have to understand that you're a part of me, too."

Did he really expect Angie to be happy with that?

"I'm going to shower. I promised to have breakfast with everyone before they check out," she said as she put her feet over the side of the bed.

"Want me to come with you? You know they're going to have a lot of questions."

"I'll be fine," she answered.

Then she looked at him pointedly until he looked away. Things had already changed. Before, she would never have had to ask him to look away when she was naked because he just did it himself.

With another shake of her head she slipped out of the bed and walked across the room to the adjoining bathroom.

* * *

Jeff watched the gentle sway of her naked butt from under his lashes until she had shut the bathroom door. Then he rolled over and let out a long, drawn out breath as he tried to still his reactions.

What the hell had he got himself into?

How would he keep his word? How would he pretend nothing had changed when he could still feel himself buried deep inside her? When he could still taste her?

When he wanted to taste her again?

Everything was complicated now. All he'd wanted was to give her everything she wanted; instead he'd ruined everything. He was still in love with Angie but he'd do Kitty Kat again in a heartbeat if she wanted.

He shook the thoughts out of his head.

She _didn't_ want it again. And he shouldn't have wanted it either but pretending last night didn't mean anything would imply he'd shamelessly used Katrina. That would put him in the same boat as all those shitbags who'd abused her before and that was the last thing he wanted.

Scenes from Amazing Grace filled his mind and he felt sick to his stomach. No, he wouldn't be like those men. No matter how much he wanted to, he would never sleep with her again. She had to feel safe with him again.

When she came out of the bathroom she had a robe on and was drying her hair. He could see a hicky on her neck and wondered if she would cover it and all the similar marks all over her body to hide her shame.

"I didn't use you," he stated hoarsely.

"I know. The thought never even crossed my mind," Katrina said as she started ruffling though her bag.

"I would never use you. But I needed you so bad... and I think you needed me, too."

"I did," Katrina said, stopping her search for clothes to look at him.

"It wasn't meaningless sex," he continued.

"That's what I was trying to say. That shit had strings attached all over it," Katrina said as she looked away and finally pulled a pair of jeans out of her bag. "It was a bad idea."

"But I don't regret it," he admitted. "It made me realise just how much you value me. You'd never have done this with just anyone. I know your heart lies with Randy but I play a special part in your life, too, don't I?"

"You know you do," Katrina said as she came to sit on the bed.

"So do me a favour. When you go home and you start playing this over in your mind, please... _please_ don't start making plans to leave me. Don't put distance between us. We have a unique relationship. I won't lose you, too."

He saw the muscles in her neck working as she swallowed and realised she was trying not to cry.

"You won't lose me," she said finally. "But you have to promise me you'll at least talk to Angie."

"First thing I'll do when I get home," he promised.

He held her gaze for a moment before he pulled her into his arms with a relieved breath.

"We're two seriously messed up people," Katrina muttered.

"No we're not. Haven't you heard? Friends with benefits are all the rage these days."

That statement was met with a little punch on the shoulder as she pushed him off and started dressing.

"What? Too soon?" he asked.

He was still chuckling as he wrapped the sheet around himself and walked out with her to the front door.

"You can't joke about it!" Kitty snapped as she opened the door and then froze in her tracks.

His face fell when he saw who was on the other side, ready to knock.

"Are you guys okay?" Matt asked.

"Of course we are. Why wouldn't we be?" he answered as he tried to think of an excuse not to let his brother in.

"I just thought I'd check on you. You were both upset last night," Matt said. "Are going to let me in?"

"I was just leaving," Kitty Kat said as she walked out past Matt. "See you later, Jeff."

"Um... I can meet you for breakfast in fifteen minutes," he said to Matt.

His brother looked at him with a frown, then down the hallway where Katrina had disappeared before he pushed his way in.

He only had to walk in a few steps before he noticed the silk dress still in a pool on the floor.

"Really?"

He rolled his eyes and shut the door before he faced Matt.

"What?"

"You said nothing like this would ever happen between you two," Matt said.

He picked up the gorgeous silk creation Katrina had worn so well before he surveyed the rest of the room. The chocolate sauce and half empty bottle of champagne were still knocked over on the rug, next to her high heels. Then the other things they had played with throughout the night were still in their places all over the room. By the bar, where he'd licked some more alcohol on her before he'd taken her. A condom wrapper was on the floor next to it. The kitchen area with whipped cream and strawberries in the oddest of places... a couple of condom wrappers there, too. He'd taken her against the French widows, too, with the curtains wide open and the view of the city lights behind them. The dining table... the coffee table... the couch. They'd done it everywhere before they'd moved to the bedroom. And the bathroom.

"I really don't see why it's any of your business," he said as he brought his mind back to the situation and started picking things up.

"You took advantage of a vulnerable girl!"

"I didn't!" he snarled. "I didn't use her!"

"She was broken up over Randy last night_"

"And I was broken up over Angie," he cut in as he threw some condom wrappers in the trash. "You have no idea what's going on and you'll never understand our relationship. I think you should go, Matt. I'll see you later."

"You're right. It's none of my business," Matt said as he turned around to leave.

"Matt..." he started, but his brother was already gone.

He sighed as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

* * *

Randy switched the phone off before he lit another cigarette. His father had been calling him from the early hours of the morning. He knew what it was about. By now his family had heard whatever story Maria had cooked up and he'd been disowned again. But he really didn't want to hear that right now.

How could he have been so stupid?

He'd known that Hardy and Katrina were sleeping together; he didn't know what had made him assume that once he broke it off with Maria, Katrina would come back to him.

But damn it, why did it have to hurt so bad?

He'd been fine before he'd admitted how he felt. He'd still wanted to kill Hardy for touching her but at least he hadn't hurt like this.

"I've been looking for you everywhere, man."

He made room for John on the bench but continued looking at the scenery. Typical Los Angeles weather had him in a light jacket today when it had been nice and warm the night before.

"I've been watching the sunrise."

"The sun rose hours ago," John said.

He looked down at the watch on his wrist and shrugged. It didn't matter if he'd spent the whole morning up here. He had nothing to rush for.

"You're more than welcome to spend Christmas with me," John said.

"I'll be fine," he muttered.

"You shouldn't be alone right now."

He finally looked at his friend and saw the worry in his eyes. John had been there the last time his father had disowned him. It hadn't been pretty.

"I'm fine," he said, injecting strength in his voice that he was far from feeling.

John nodded his head and looked out at the view of LA before them. He could tell he didn't believe him.

"I don't really care what my father thinks of me right now," he said.

"Yes, you do. I think you always will. But I know that's not why you're sitting here. Katrina broke your heart," John said. "I'm sorry I encouraged you to go for it."

"Don't be. I would have done it anyway, sooner or later," he admitted. "In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep trying."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I don't know why I thought getting her back would be easy. Nothing about her has been easy. It took me a long time to get her to even talk to me when we first met."

"You actually took the time to chase her? Now I know she's special," John grinned.

"I was playing for fun back then. She was a challenge. Different. I had to have her, no matter what. But now I'm playing for keeps," he said.

And he would, too, as soon as he had time to deal with the pieces of his heart. He could still hear Katrina's cries of pleasure ringing over and over in his ears.

"So don't worry about me. Go home and enjoy your Christmas. I've got a lot of thinking to do."

Katrina had accused him of not being able to love anyone but himself. Maybe if he found a way to show her that things were different now she'd take another chance on him. He wasn't going to lie and say he'd changed; he was well aware his mind didn't operate on the same level as everyone else's and in some areas he'd probably always be a dick.

But he loved her. Madly.

He had to make her see that.

Then she'd never have to fuck Hardy again.

As that thought rang through his head he saw Katrina walk up to the railing at the front of the roof garden and light a cigarette.

He saw his chance and stood up.

"See you later," he said to John.

He took a calming breath and he walked over. He ignored the way her face fell when she finally noticed him.

"Hi," he said.

"What do you want, Randy?" Katrina sighed.

"I've been trying to talk to you for a while now," he said. "You've been avoiding me."

"I'm a busy girl," she shrugged.

"I only need a minute to say what I need to say."

"I think you've already said all you have to say," Katrina said, putting out her hardly smoked cigarette and turning away.

"Please," he said, gently grabbing her arm to stop her from walking away from him. "I know you don't want to hear it and I know you're with Jeff now but I really need to say this."

"What?"

She made no move to turn back to him and he noticed she'd avoided looking at his face. It gave him hope. She might be sleeping with Jeff but he could sense she still had feelings for him.

Taking his chances, he moved closer to her until he felt the heat of her body against him. Slowly, he breathed in the scent of her, ignoring the fact that her hair seemed to be still damp probably from an early morning session in the shower with her boyfriend. He also ignored the fresh, big love bite on her neck. He didn't want to think about that right now. God knew when she would let him this close to her again.

"I'm not giving up on us," he said.

"There's no 'us'," Katrina snapped.

"Yes, there is. I feel it every time I touch you. I feel it when I see you. I feel it even when I think about you. And I know you feel it, too. I saw it in your eyes last night."

"You can't keep doing this. Just go back to your fiancé and play happy families," Katrina said, snatching her arm from him.

"Oh, I'm done with playing, Katrina. No more games, from this point on," he said.

He lifted his hand to let his fingers gently trail her cheek before his thumb followed the sensual line of her full lower lip. He missed those lips.

He saw the subtle way her breath caught, and his hope grew again.

"I think it's only fair that I let you know that I'm coming after you with everything I've got," he said. "Sooner or later you'll realise we're meant to be together."

"Arrogant prick," Katrina said, smacking his hand away.

He chuckled but didn't attempt to touch her again. He didn't want to mess up his chances before he'd even figured out what he was going to do.

"I've never claimed to be an angel," he admitted. "But there are so many things about me that you don't know. I think once you get to know me better you'll understand what an impossible situation I was in. Then maybe we can work our way from there."

"What? Are you saying you want us to be friends?"

"For now," he nodded.

"No! I want nothing to do with you," Katrina said.

Her eyes spat fire at him. Silver fire. He resisted the urge to kiss it out of her.

"I know you don't. And I know why you feel that way. But I intend to undo all the wrongs I've done you."

"So you don't feel guilty when you move on?"

"No. So you'll have no doubt in your mind about my feelings for you," he said as he backed away.

He was aware he hadn't actually told her how he felt; he hadn't said those words that he was dying to say. But she'd know soon enough.

With a little smile at her, he turned away and walked back into the hotel. He had a lot of work to do.

* * *

John watched Katrina's face as Randy walked away from her. For the first time since he'd met her he could actually read it. Maybe because she wasn't hiding behind alcohol or aware that somebody was watching her.

He saw longing. He saw love. And he saw grief.

Grief?

When Randy disappeared inside, Katrina's eyes closed and tear drops fell down her cheeks. He'd known from the first time he'd talked to her that there was something a little off. But he doubted she would ever tell him about it.

Her head turned and he caught her eyes. For a moment he saw alarm and he knew she thought she'd exposed too much of herself. But what was she hiding?

The emotions drained from her face and she wiped the tears off. Then she turned and walked away like nothing had happened.

He found himself wishing, not for the first time, that he knew her life story so he could help her.

With a sigh, he stood up and walked back into the hotel, too. Whatever Randy planned, he hoped it worked. Katrina clearly felt the same way about him.

* * *

Randy grit his teeth at the unending insults. He wasn't going to dignify his father's behaviour with a response. How could the old man even think of doing this in the middle of the lobby?

"I've tried my hardest with you, boy, but you're just a selfish, ungrateful prick," Bob Orton spat out.

_He is what you made him, Robert._

That voice had never liked his father. Well, at that moment, that made two of them.

"You had yourself a good woman. Beautiful, classy, independent. What the hell is wrong with you?"

He still didn't know what story Maria had spun out but judging by the vein popping out of the side of his father's face, it had to be a big doozy.

The voice in his head made a snort. Obviously it was also thinking those weren't the words to describe Maria.

His father continued talking shit. He didn't bother listening to the words that came out of his mouth because he'd heard them all before. He just watched as his father's face went ruby red. He always did that when he was very angry. And he always shoved and poked him. This time, as his father's fingers poked the hard wall of his chest he looked down at them and wondered why he had ever wanted the man's approval.

The man had treated him like shit his whole life, he didn't _deserve _any respect from him.

_I've said it before, I'll say it again. Knock him the fuck out. _

No. Bob Orton didn't deserve a reaction at all.

"... all for what?" Bob continued. "That common piece of trash from last night?"

His eyes narrowed as he held his father's gaze.

"What, you thought I didn't notice the way you looked at her? I let it go last night because we'd just learned that she wasn't wearing any underwear. Hell, if I was a little bit younger I'd probably have looked, too."

His eyes narrowed again.

"But women who blatantly flaunt their sexuality like that are only good for the whorehouse_"

He stepped up to his father before another word could come out of his mouth and bent to his height so they were face to face. The man could say all the shit he wanted about him, but to talk about Katrina like that? Over his dead body.

"You will _never_ talk about her like that again," he growled. "Do you understand that, _dad_?"

He spat the last word out, because this man didn't deserve to be called it.

He saw the way the old man's muscles worked in this throat. The predator in him sensed the fear. It was such a shame that it had to come to this, but for the life of him he couldn't help the sneer that appeared on his lips at the role reversal.

"You're no son of mine," Bob said.

But his voice was decidedly weaker. The anger gone.

"Come on, Elaine."

His eyes settled on the woman who'd stood quietly next to her husband. For a moment his mother didn't move, and he felt the biggest hope in his heart that for once she was going to take his side.

But his mum turned away from him.

"Mum..." he pleaded.

He swallowed a lump and watched her walk away.

Only after she disappeared did he quickly scan the room. News of this would be no doubt all over the place in a couple of hours. He wanted to be able to put the faces to whatever exaggerations popped up.

He paused when his eyes fell on Katrina. She stood by the elevators, a frown on her face and with her hand in Jeff's. He fought the urge to prise their fingers apart. She would be his soon enough.

At least he hoped so.

He looked away and looked back in the direction his mother had gone. Then he picked his bag up and followed. It was going to be a long two weeks.

* * *

**Thank you all for your lovely reviews, alerts and favs. I have a lot on my plate right now but I want to get the two fics I've got going out of my head so my Randy muse doesn't keep telling me what he wants to do to Katrina. Lol. **

**I'm going to hurry things along now so we finally get to the point where everything goes BANG!**


	29. Chapter 29

"Stick, damn you!"

Hunter swore again as the wrapping paper ripped.

"Boy, am I glad Steph is the one who wrapped my presents."

He growled at Shawn's image on the laptop screen as he continued to wrestle with the sticky tape. It seemed to have gone all over the breakfast bar. For some reason Steph had thought it was a good idea for him to wrap his own presents this year. So far, it didn't look that way. He had a feeling he was being punished for keeping the situation with Randy from her.

"So did Kat say anything about why she bailed on breakfast on Sunday?"

"She hasn't said a word. I don't know what to do, Shawn. I don't know why she lied to me about Randy, maybe if she'd told me I could have stopped it."

"You really think you could have?"

"No. But maybe I could have talked to Randy. If he hadn't treated her like that maybe she wouldn't be feeling this way," he sighed as he ripped the useless wrapping paper off. "Randy's sent her flowers every day since we got home. And I've just signed a delivery for her, a bunch of perfectly wrapped presents that will completely shame mine if she decides to put them under the tree. She hasn't seen them yet but I have a feeling they'll be going into the trash where all the flowers have gone, too. I don't know how to make her see that... that Grace is gone."

He still couldn't get the look in her eyes that night at the party out of his head.

"She needs time," Shawn said.

He shrugged as he cut out another piece of wrapping paper. He was on his fourth roll, but so far, only two presents were done.

"She's started having nightmares again," he revealed.

It was Christmas Eve. They'd been home three nights, and last night he'd had to lie next to her on her bed until her trembling stopped. Just like he had done in the very beginning.

"Bad ones?" Shawn asked.

"I had to spend all of last night in her room," he revealed. "I feel so useless. Should I call the shrink again?"

"Maybe you should get Jeff to come there for Christmas. That weirdo always makes her smile."

He frowned a little. He didn't like the way Jeff had let her kiss him at the Christmas party. The man looked like he had been enjoying it entirely too much. But that wasn't the reason he wanted to keep them apart. The news of Grace seemed to have completely fucked the guy's head. If he cracked, he was going to get both of them into trouble. The longer Jeff stayed away to process everything on his own the better.

"Maybe," he said, not really committing to the idea.

He heard the front door opening and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Kat?" he called. "Help."

She had gone to do some last minute errands for Steph because his wife had to collect some of the family from the airport.

"The hell have you done in here?" she asked when she walked into the kitchen.

The place was a mess. Steph had made sure it was spotless before she'd gone because one of her aunts had a thing about dirty kitchens.

"I'll clean it up," he said. "I just need help with the last few presents first."

Kat looked at the mountain of presents he still had to wrap then at the two he'd already done.

"Give me that," she said, snatching the tape out of his hand. "Start cleaning up."

"Hi, Katrina," Shawn said, waving.

"Hi," she answered, but he noticed she didn't even look at the laptop screen.

Shawn must have noticed her different mood but, to his credit, he didn't ask. They kept the conversation light as he put Steph's kitchen in order and Kat produced flawlessly wrapped presents.

"So... Did you guys hear what happened to Orton on Sunday morning?"

The last thing he had expected was Kat to actually bring up the subject herself.

"It might have trickled to our ears," he answered.

"Does it happen often?"

"Yeah. Everytime Rob is around, actually," he said. "I used to think Randy was just immature and disrespectful, and that he needed his father to get on his ass like that. Turns out I was way off. I feel sorry for the kid."

He sat down at the breakfast bar opposite her and watched her face. She still hadn't looked up from her wrapping but he could tell that piece of news had got to her.

"So his father's been abusive all his life? Just verbally or..?"

He saw her swallow.

"I think that's Randy's story to tell," he said gently. "You should call him."

"I can't," Kat said.

"He's sent you flowers. That's a great way to start talking_"

"It's not that. I can't be what he wants me to be. He needs someone who's..."

Kat pushed the last of the presents away from her and started gathering the mess up without finishing her sentence. He could guess what she'd been about to say. He sighed and caught Shawn's eyes on the screen.

"Do you know the deal with his mum?" she asked when she'd finished. "I mean, she just stood there..."

He shrugged.

"Randy's never said anything."

"You talk to him a lot?"

"I used to. I mentored him with Ric for a while. When it comes to work, he's got a pretty good head on his shoulders. Quite focused."

"Too focused," Shawn grunted. "The guy can be a little bit too intense. Always has to be the best at everything. I understand where all that came from now."

"His father," Kat stated.

Hunter nodded even though she hadn't asked a question.

"You should talk to him," he repeated.

She shook her head.

"I'll talk to his mother, though. Do you have her number?"

He gave her a little smile as he reached into his pocket for his phone.

Kat was in 'Mother hen' mode. She only did that with people she really cared about. He still didn't know how to feel about the situation; Randy was so far from the type of man he wanted for her. But she was in love. And that was something he had never thought he'd see in this lifetime.

"I have the house phone number," he said as he found it and handed the phone to her.

"I'm going to my room. When Steph's mum gets here, tell her that I'm not wearing that horrible sweater. Nothing Christmas-y about the damn thing, anyway," Kat mumbled when she handed the phone back.

When she was gone he turned back to the laptop.

"Wow," Shawn said.

"Don't be happy about it, yet. I really doubt that she's going to give him a chance," he sighed.

* * *

Kat dropped herself in the bay window seat, ignoring the usually soothing view of the trees beyond the back yard as she took her phone out.

The last thing she had wanted was to get involved in Randy's business, especially after the threat he'd made. The thought of it still made her tremble; she struggled to push the thought of his touch out of her mind. He was having a baby; what the hell what he thinking? If he really meant to pursue her she had to stay strong. She knew only too well how single-minded and intense he could be when he wanted something. When she'd first got with him, it had taken him only a matter of weeks to break through a wall she had spent over a decade building. But still she had fought him.

Until the day he had touched her.

Until a man's touch had sent her up in flames for the first time in her life.

A stolen moment in a dimly lit closet in one of the arenas.

A gentle touch.

A gentle kiss.

Just one hot moment.

It had been the look in his eyes as he'd lifted his lips from hers, the tremble she had felt in his body, in his voice as he'd said, "Please," that had finally did it.

That was before she had fallen in love with him. What chance did she stand now?

Even with her past and his impending fatherhood, she was in very real danger of giving in the second he touched her. But she had to remember why she was doing this. If what Randy's dad had said was true – if Randy left Maria because he wanted to be with her – then she had to be stronger than ever.

She shook the thoughts off and looked down at her phone. He had messaged her morning noon and night since Sunday. And every single message revealed a part of him, of his past. He hadn't said anything about his father but the last message he sent had made her heart break for him.

_Wish mum was here. Wish she would pick me, just this once. I don't want to be lonely anymore._

She had felt like that for too much of her childhood. Even now, with so many people around her, she sometimes felt lonely. And something inside her didn't want Randy feeling anything like that.

With a steadying breath, she dialled the number.

"May I speak to Mrs. Orton, please?" she asked as soon as someone picked up the phone.

"This is she."

"You don't know me, but I think what you're doing to Randy is wrong."

"Who is this? I really don't see how this is any of your business."

"I'm Randy's friend. And you... You just stood there. You watched your husband throw all that abuse at him, and you just stood there."

"You don't know anything about what happens in this house_"

"You're right. I don't. But I know what I saw. And I know Randy needs you right now. You are the one person who's supposed to love him and stand by him no matter what. You carried him for nine months... does that not mean anything to you?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

"You're his mother. You should protect him, no matter what. You may not have said all those horrible words to him but as far as I'm concerned, you might as well have. Tell me. Has he murdered anyone? Raped or molested babies?"

"No!"

"Then I really don't see what else would make a woman turn her back on her child. You're the worst kind of woman. When I saw you on Saturday I couldn't help admiring you. Now I know that underneath all of that you're just a rotten, selfish cow who doesn't deserve a child like Randy anyway. I really hope you're happy with that husband of yours, because one day Randy's just going to give up on you."

With that she hung up.

Her situation with her mother was entirely different but Randy's mum had brought back a lot of those bad memories.

She threw her phone on the seat and finally looked out of the window. She saw two cars driving down to the house and shut her eyes against the headache that had been threatening all morning. She really wasn't in the mood to play happy families.

* * *

Randy grabbed the last handful of lingerie and threw it into the bag. Maria had managed to bring more stuff over to his house than he had thought, stamping it without him even realising. It had been three days but he was still finding things everywhere, like she had already fucking moved in.

He hauled the heavy bag down the stairs to place at the foot with the other two and then walked into the living room. While he preferred chilling out in the den with his TV, laptop and games consoles whenever he was home, Maria had spent most of her time in here. He had no clue what the hell she did with her time. And she had never shown that she wanted him to spend time with her. Another indication that she hadn't really been that bothered about marrying him. Maybe she just wanted to be married, period. Probably any old fool would do.

"Shit," he sighed when he saw his bookshelf.

Well, that solved the mystery of what Maria used to do in here. In fact, she seemed to have moved the furniture around so she could have a spot dedicated to curling up and reading.

He sat down, tired beyond belief. He'd planned to be half way to drunk by now. It was Christmas Eve, and the Orton household was no doubt already enjoying their party. Then they would go for midnight Mass together. One big happy family. Tomorrow everybody would enjoy his mother's legendary Christmas dinner. They would open their presents. They would laugh and be happy and say how much they loved each other.

He turned his head to the presents at the corner of the room. He'd found them on the doorstep that morning. All of the presents he had bought and placed under his father's tree. All of the love he had put towards choosing them.

Returned.

Unwanted.

He looked away and pulled his phone out.

_I know you don't want to talk to me but can I call you? I could use a friend._

He was beginning to sound needy. It wasn't the picture he wanted to portray, but damnit, he wanted to hear her voice. She was the whole reason he was doing this, the whole reason he was prepared to turn his back on his father.

And if it came down to it, his mother and siblings, too.

He shouldn't have to kiss their asses so hard just to hear a single word of love. But he would kiss Katrina ass for as long as it took. She was saying one thing right now, but he knew in his gut that she loved him. She had to. Even if she was letting Hardy put his damn hands on her.

When ten minutes passed and she still hadn't replied his text he threw his phone on the chair and stood up.

Maria's book collection wasn't as he'd expected. For some reason he'd expected fluffy, useless reads but he saw the type of books he'd buy himself. Thrillers, suspense, horrors... She seemed to have a lot of true, real life stories, too. And self help books. He grunted when he saw those. Maria definitely needed a lot of help. But then, so did he.

He took them all off his shelf and put them neatly on the coffee table. Hmm. It seemed he knew nothing about his ex-fiancé. He picked one book up and sat back down in the chair.

It was Christmas Eve and everyone seemed to have forgotten about him. He had all the time in the world to read.

He looked at the cover.

_Amazing Grace by G. Carver_.

He read the blurb then frowned as he put it aside.

No, he didn't want to read that. What he needed was a drink. Something to sooth him and numb his mind.

* * *

Jeff almost turned back again but he remembered his promise to Kitty Kat and forced his feet to keep moving. He sat down next to her on the bench, not sparing her even a glance as he watched the last minute Christmas shoppers.

She didn't get up and walk away like he had hoped. At least then he could have truthfully told Kat that he'd tried.

He let out a breath.

"So when did you start sleeping with Kimo?" he asked.

There was no need for pleasantries. The woman had broken his heart and taken his good friend in the process.

"Right after I left your hotel," Angie replied.

"You never wanted to work things out," he stated.

"We had already drifted too far apart."

_She_ had let them drift apart. She'd _wanted_ to drift apart.

"No, we hadn't. I would have done anything for you, Angie."

"Except, apparently, remain true to me."

"Katrina is my friend. Everybody knows that. Even Matt knows that," he said.

He didn't raise his voice. He wasn't arguing. He just wanted to get some facts across.

"So why did you keep her a secret?"

"Because the past year or so you chopped my balls off everytime I even looked in the direction of a female. I knew you wouldn't like her," he said. "But I promise you I was never unfaithful to you."

"You shared a bed with that woman and didn't sleep with her?" Angie snorted.

"I didn't. All we did was play video games, watch movies, drink and talk. I never ever saw her like that. But Randy? The man you trusted over me? He'd been doing her for months."

"I don't believe you."

"It doesn't matter to me anymore if you believe me or not. But that's the truth. Kat broke up with him and he didn't like it. He didn't like that it meant she was spending more time with me."

"You're lying. Randy's getting married soon."

"He _was_ getting married. Last time I heard, he broke up with Maria and he's trying to win Katrina back. You can ask him if you want, since you trust him so much."

"So why didn't you say anything?"

He felt, rather than saw her turn to face him. Maybe there was a chance of reconciliation. But he had realised a few days ago that getting back with Angie was the last thing he wanted.

"Did you give me the chance? You didn't trust me, and that hurt like a bitch. Then you went straight into my friend's arms. As far as I'm concerned, you two deserve each other. I'm past caring, one way or another."

"Oh, come on!" Angie snapped. "You have a room – an entire room – full of naked sketches and paintings of that woman. I found them months ago. There's no way you did those and didn't sleep with her, so don't go all sanctimonious on me."

He finally looked at the woman who had been his entire life for five years. She was still beautiful, but she had a certain aura around her that she'd never had when she was with him. Like she was finally happy.

"I didn't sleep with her," he said carefully, "while I was still with you. But on Friday I saw you and Kimo..."

He let that sentence hang; knowing Angie would come to all the right conclusions. When he heard her gasp, he knew that she had.

"I didn't sit here to try to work things out. And I certainly didn't want to hurt you. I just wanted you to know that you're the one who fucked up. You're the one who didn't trust me. And I'm glad you showed me that selfish, uncompromising side of you before I'd put a ring on your finger."

"You were going to marry me?" Angie asked.

"I racked my brain trying to think of something that would convince you that I loved you. Before you walked out on me I had decided the only thing that would do that was if I turned my back on my beliefs and married you. It wasn't a sacrifice. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I loved you that much," he said.

He looked away from the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"I still do. But you broke my heart. I don't want you in my life anymore."

He stood up and looked down at her face again.

"I hope you find whatever it is that you didn't find with me. Goodbye Angie."

The he pulled his hood up, stuffed his hands in his pockets and made his way to his car without looking back. He blinked his tears back. He and Angie could have had it all. But there was no chance of that now.

* * *

Matt watched Jeff get out of his car and then head to the side of the house. His hands were empty so he was willing to bet his life savings that Jeff had completely forgotten the stuff he had sent him out for.

Not that he needed any of it. He'd just wanted Jeff to get out of the house, get some fresh air. Obviously that hadn't helped anything.

He put the potato peeler down and washed his hands. Their dad and a few of their friends and family were coming over to see Christmas in. He'd agreed to cook as long as they managed to keep it small. His aunt was supposed to do the real magic with the Christmas dinner the following day. But his disagreement with Jeff had put a dampener on his mood.

He still couldn't understand why Jeff would toy with a fragile girl like that. Especially since Jeff obviously knew a lot more about her than he did.

But he was determined it wasn't going to spoil the rest of the holiday so he made his way outside to Jeff's 'studio', a room that he had taken over since the day he had moved in so he could do his art. He used to be able to enter from inside the house, but Jeff had since done that much more art that he'd had to block one door so he could have more space to store it.

He found him sitting on the floor right in the middle of the room – the only uncluttered space available - with a beer can in his hand and a book on his lap.

"Hey," he said.

Jeff didn't seem to hear him. He glanced around, his brow lifting a little when he noticed the subject of most of the paintings. Some were abstract, and others... Katrina might as well have been in the room.

"These are really good," he said.

"Thanks," Jeff said, closing his book and putting it on the floor next to him.

"Has she seen them?"

"Some of them."

He walked around the small space, studying some of the pieces that were hung along the walls and looking through some of the ones on the floor that were leaning against the walls. Katrina was naked in a lot of them, but Jeff had managed to make all of them tasteful. Even classy. He saw innocence in Katrina's face in all of them, an innocence he had glimpsed only briefly the first night she had got drunk with him. The same innocence that had made him wonder what the hell had happened to her to hide this side of herself behind that tough exterior.

"These will make you rich one day," he teased, turning to look at his brother again.

Jeff gave him a small smile but it quickly disappeared.

"Are you still mad at me?" Jeff asked.

He hadn't been mad, not really. He just wanted to understand what the hell was going on. In the few weeks he'd known the enigma that was Katrina he'd learned that she had somehow got glued into every aspect of Jeff's life. And for some reason, she had grown on him, too. Not like flowers or anything like that. More like a fungus, invading his life before he could even decide if he really wanted her there. But even though she said things to the contrary, Katrina needed friends. She needed someone looking out for her. He just didn't understand why he felt that way, considering her attitude.

"No," he answered, sitting down next to his brother. "You obviously know what you're doing."

"No. I don't," Jeff sighed. "I messed up."

"Do you have feelings for her?"

"I have a lot of feelings for her," Jeff answered with a humourless chuckle. "But if you're asking if I'm in love with her, then no."

He watched his brother's face for a moment.

"No, never? Or no, not yet?" he asked.

Jeff met his eyes for the first time and shrugged. If he was to take a guess, he would say Jeff was well on his way.

"Have you talked to her about this?"

"No. And I won't, either. She wants to forget what happened. She's in love with Randy; Randy's finally seen sense... And I want her to have everything she wants."

"That's very selfless," Matt said with a thoughtful frown. "Why would you do that?"

"She's my friend_"

"It's more than that. It's more than how you feel about her," he mused, studying Jeff again. "You want her to have everything she ever wanted because she's never had the chance before?"

Jeff's face closed off and he turned away. Obviously he'd hit the nail on the head. He had already known that Katrina had a rough childhood from looking at her faint scars. But now he knew for certain that Jeff had the details. And something told him those details were somehow responsible for the odd way his brother had been acting since Angie walked out on him.

"Was she neglected as a child?"

"Stop that," Jeff said faintly.

"Abused?"

"I said stop."

"Why did she try to kill herself, Jeff? And her scars are different so I'm guessing she probably tried it a few times. Trouble at school? The wrong type of friends? Trouble with her parents? Does she have any parents?"

"I'm not telling you anything. I have too much to lose," Jeff said firmly before he stood up. "I'm going to fire up the barbeque."

"Alright," he said, then watched his brother walk out of the room.

And it _was_ alright. They had another week before they had to get back to work. That was plenty of time to break him.

Absentmindedly, he flipped the pages of the book Jeff had left on the floor, his mind searching the past few weeks for clues.

But when he couldn't come up with anything concrete he sighed and stood up, too. He had a lot to do before everyone got here. He could solve the mystery another time.

* * *

"Call him."

Katrina threw Shane a cold glance as she picked some lint of her Christmas sweater. Linda had been 'kind' enough to give her another one when she had gone downstairs to greet everyone. Like the one she had hidden right at the back of her wardrobe, this one engulfed her and had a sleeve longer than the other. Someone really needed to tell Linda to get a new hobby.

"I have no reason to," she said.

"I'm not the guy's biggest fan. I've still got my fingers crossed for you and Jeff. But I think you should give him a chance," Shane continued. "I had a really nice talk with him on Saturday, all friendly like."

She eyed Shane suspiciously. They were lying on her bed, having escaped the family after dinner. Shane was the one member of the family who, like her, still struggled to accept her past. Sometimes she didn't want the reminder, but other times, like tonight, knowing someone needed to be close to her to feel better gave her a little bit of strength. It made her concentrate on their feelings instead of her own.

"You threatened him, didn't you?" she asked. "That's why he's doing this."

"I didn't threaten him. I didn't need to," Shane smirked.

She sighed. Someone had threatened him. Randy wouldn't have just thrown all his plans away if they hadn't. It's not like he had suddenly fallen in love with her or anything.

Again she shivered as she remembered their conversation on the roof garden on Sunday morning.

"I'm not going to encourage him, and none of you should, either. I'm too messed up for a relationship; I'd just ruin his life."

"Or he could help you," Shane suggested.

She looked up at him and saw the sadness in his eyes. Damnit.

"I'll call him. But I'm not promising anything," she sighed.

Shane smiled, kissed the top of her head then rolled off her bed.

"I'll give you some space then," he said as he walked to the door.

* * *

Randy struggled to keep his eyes open but he was determined to be up until after midnight. He had more than three hours to go. Maybe opening that bottle of whiskey had been a bad idea. He'd wanted to be sober, just in case Katrina messaged to say he could call her.

_I feel so sorry for you, boy. All alone on Christmas Eve._

He shut the voice up and sat up in the chair. The book he'd picked earlier was still next to him. Maybe that would occupy his mind long enough for him to ignore the emptiness in his heart.

He read the blurb again then flipped to the first page.

oOo

_My name is Grace and I'm an alcoholic. Well, okay, not really. Not yet anyway. But judging by the way my life has gone, it will not surprise me if this statement is true in a couple of years. Or even months._

_Okay, so let me start this off properly. _

_My name is Grace and I'm an addict. I'm twenty years old._

oOo

His phone rang.

He threw the book back on the chair, his heart hammering. If it was John checking up on him again he'd kill him.

Katrina.

His heart hammered again.

He forgot everything he'd wanted to say.

But he answered the phone anyway and prayed that he wouldn't make a fool of himself.

"Hi," Katrina said. "Are you alright?"

"I am," he answered.

He cleared his throat. He really shouldn't have touched the alcohol.

"You alone?"

"Yes. All alone."

He cleared his throat again to erase the needy note he'd heard in his voice.

"Did you get my flowers?" he asked.

"Yes. You need to stop doing that."

"You're not a flowers kind of girl? What would you like instead?"

His knowledge of her was limited but he had already made plans to change that. If she refused to be forthcoming, if she refused to get to know him, he would just have to stick to her until she did.

"I don't want anything from you. You need to move on. I should never have got with you to start off with."

"Don't say that," he begged softly. "Being with you is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"But you don't know me at all, Randy. And I don't know you. What we had... it was a fantasy. And like all dreams, it has to come to an end."

"You're right. You _are_ my fantasy. But you're going to be my reality, too. Very, very soon," he said softly. "I'm not going away just because you said I should. Because I know you're lying through your teeth when you say you don't feel me anymore."

"Yeah? How the hell would you know that?"

A smile pulled at the corners of his lips as he remembered.

She went up in flames when he touched her. He knew sometimes she held back, but when she didn't think, when she finally let go... she melted. No other woman that he'd been with did that as well as Katrina. No other woman could elicit that strong a response from him. He'd been around long enough to know how special that was. And then she looked at him with those gorgeous eyes and there was no denying what she felt. He now knew exactly what it was because he felt it too.

Not to mention there was a certain intensity about her that made him think she didn't do things if she didn't mean them.

"Let's just say I know."

He grinned when he heard her grunt and mutter under her breath.

"What I felt is gone. So don't waste any more of your time."

"It's my time to do with as I please," he shrugged. "Look, maybe you're afraid. I've treated you very badly; you'll never really know how deeply I regret that. I know I have to earn your trust and I know it's going to be hard. But I've never been afraid of hard work, Katrina."

If he took the time to do things right, Hardy wouldn't even be any issue. So he wasn't going to say anything on that subject.

In fact, it would serve his purposes better if he stopped talking about getting her back and actually started doing it.

"So. You guys having a party or something?"

There was silence on the other end of the line. Then a loud sigh.

"Just a little get-together. Most of Hunter's and Steph's family are here."

"And your family?"

Another little silence.

"They're my family."

He'd never asked her why she lived with Hunter and Steph. But he knew she had a family out there. Or at least a mother. She had mentioned her once, the first time they'd slept together.

Then he'd promptly told her he didn't want to know.

"Is your mother coming?"

More silence.

"Okay, forget I asked that. I know you don't really want to talk to me. I just wanted..." he started.

He'd never talked about his family before the weekend. John knew, but only because he'd been around for a lot of the bullshit. But he wanted Katrina to know. He wanted her to understand.

"My father's disowned me again. I'm all alone this Christmas," he said. "I've been alone quite a few Christmases. When it happens any other time of year I can handle it a lot better."

"How many times has it happened?"

He snorted.

"I've lost count. But the last time he kept me away from the rest of my family for almost two years. It was the worst time of my life. All I've ever wanted was for my father to be proud of me. I've done everything he's asked, been everything he's wanted me to be. But still, it was never enough. I was never enough."

"Yeah, some parents are just dicks that way," Katrina said. "Sometimes you have to decide to just let it all go and do what's best for you."

"I know. That doesn't make it hurt less, though," he answered. "My baby sister got married and nobody even told me. One day she was starting college then the next she's married and pregnant. Now I'm probably going to miss seeing my first niece's first few years. My brother decided professional wrestling wasn't for him. He's gone back to college now. I wasn't there to help him with that decision."

"I don't want to make you feel worse, but they could have kept in touch without your father knowing about it," she's said.

"It's a lot more complicated than that," he sighed.

On the days he was on the road, or temporarily disowned, it wasn't Ethan or Emily who got the brunt of their father's anger. And no matter how much it hurt not to contact his siblings, he wasn't willing to risk his mother getting hurt.

"It always is," Katrina said. "Anything worth having is worth fighting for. Sometimes the solution is right under your nose if you look close enough."

He flipped the pages of the book and smiled.

"I'm fighting now," he said. "And I intend to win."

"And sometimes you don't always get what you want," Katrina added.

He smiled again. She was still warning him off pursuing her.

"We'll see," he said.

His doorbell rang and he frowned as he put the book aside.

"I think I've got some more carollers. I'm this close to setting my dog on them," he grumbled. "Maybe I should put a sign that say there's no Christmas here this year."

Katrina chuckled. He paused in mid-stride to listen to the beautiful sound. He liked it. It washed over him and suddenly made everything seem better.

"Are you laughing about the dog or the sign," he asked as he continued.

"The dog. Hunter had to lock the dogs in the back because I expressed a wish to do the same thing."

He grinned as he opened the door.

Then the grin left his face as he saw who stood on his doorstep.

"Mum."

* * *

Thank you everybody. Hope you enjoyed this. I'm trying to get to the point where Katrina's life starts slowly turning upside down.


	30. Chapter 30

**I'm so sorry for the late update. Hope you enjoy.**

Randy put his bags down at the foot of the stairs and walked down the hall to the kitchen. He leaned against the doorframe, a small smile lighting his face as he watched his brother demolish the breakfast their mother had placed in front of him.

"Sit down, Randy. Don't let your food get cold," Elizabeth said, bustling around the kitchen.

"Yes, ma'am," he said.

"Are you all packed?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm ready to leave."

"Did you pack enough underwear?"

He grinned and Ethan snorted.

"Yes, Mum. And I didn't forget my toothbrush or razor."

"Good. I'm going to fold that last load of laundry before I go."

"You don't have to do that, Mum," he said, losing his smile as he watched his mother's face. "And you know you don't have to go."

"I'll be fine," Elizabeth smiled.

He saw through the smile. He'd seen through all of them since the night she had knocked on his door. When his mother left the room he sighed and turned back to his food.

"I'll look out for her," Ethan said, pushing his plate away. "Dad won't do anything to hurt her."

"I'm never really sure about that," he confessed.

He'd lost his appetite. He pushed his food away, too, and looked at his brother.

When his mother had shown up on his doorstep over a week ago he'd been too overwhelmed to ask any questions. Truthfully, he hadn't wanted to ask in case his questions sent her straight back out of his life. She had come in, held him like she'd always done when he'd been a lot younger then set about tidying up and cooking for him.

Then shortly after that Ethan, Emily and her husband, Craig, had arrived bearing gifts and decorations, even a Christmas tree. They hadn't had much time for any meaningful talk. His house had looked like a home for the first time in a long while. And it had finally looked like Christmas.

Ethan had told him that they'd left the old man having a fit at the thought of all of them disserting him on such a night. Then when Christmas Day rolled on, he'd been surprised to find them on his doorstep again, this time with more of the family, more presents and his mother's Christmas dinner. He had half expected his father to show up and make another scene. But he hadn't. He hadn't even called. For the first time in his life, he didn't have to behave a certain way to gain anyone's approval. It had been liberating but he had to admit it had also been somewhat heartbreaking.

His mother had gone back to his father at the end of every night. His undeniably angry father.

It scared the shit out of him.

"Have you finished moving all your stuff?" he asked Ethan.

"Yeah. When I don't have classes I'll be there."

He nodded and fiddled with his cutlery. Their father had to know that Ethan moving back to the family home meant they were watching him. Would he be sadistic enough to try something just for the fuck of it?

"If he touches her_"

"He won't," Ethan cut in. "To be honest, I think he's kinda scared of what you would do to him."

"Dad's not scared of anyone," he said.

But he remembered the fear that had passed so quickly in his father's eyes when he had mentioned Katrina.

"Of course he is. He knows you can easily take him if you got angry enough. Why do you think he stopped...?"

Ethan voice trailed off.

Randy bit his jaw at the reminder of what had been his life for so long but pushed it to the back of his mind. That wasn't who he was anymore. Or at least, he didn't want to be that person anymore.

"I have to get going," he said as he stood up. "Don't forget to lock up when you go."

He ruffled his little brother's hair before he left the room because he knew how much it irritated him. But at least it would get his mind of the direction his thoughts would have taken. Though none of Bob's anger and frustrations had ever been directed at his siblings, he knew they hadn't escaped unharmed.

He found his mother in the utility room, mechanically folding his laundry. He didn't need to be a genius to know she had been crying.

And he didn't need to be a genius to know his father was the cause of it.

"Are you alright?"

He knew the answer to that. It was the same answer he had got when he had asked her the same question on Christmas Eve.

"I'm fine," she said.

He looked away from her. Talking about feelings just wasn't the Orton way but he sometimes wished it was different. Maybe his life would have turned out a lot better if he'd had someone to talk to when he'd been younger.

"I have to get going. I have to get to a house show tonight," he said.

RAW didn't have one but he wanted to see Katrina after Smackdown.

"Wait," Elizabeth said. "This woman... Is she worth all of this?"

"Yes," he answered easily. "And her name's Katrina."

Elizabeth folded the last of the laundry the turned around to lean against the dryer, motioning for him to join her.

"You're in love," his mother stated.

He nodded but said nothing.

"I saw the way you looked at her at the party. I saw the way she looked at you," Elizabeth revealed. "Both of you looked so miserable and I couldn't help feeling responsible."

"None of this is your fault, Mum."

"Yes, it is. Maria wasn't your girlfriend, was she? That day when I heard you were in town and stopped by?"

He shifted uncomfortably. The last thing he wanted to do was discuss his one night stands with his mother.

"She seemed as shocked as I was when you introduced her as your girlfriend," she explained. "It wasn't hard to piece together. If I hadn't been so desperate for a way to make your father talk to you again... I should never have let you take it so far."

"I'm a big boy. Whatever I did was my decision."

"You don't understand. It _is_ my fault. Everything that's happened... Your friend was right."

"My friend?"

His mother shook her head and looked away.

"I should never have let... my situation... get in the way of protecting you."

"Mum, you know I didn't want you to get involved," he said, moving so he was standing right in front of her. "I still don't. I feel like the second I'm back on the road he's going to try something."

"He won't. We've had... words."

He still wasn't reassured. He had wanted his mother to pick him over Bob so many times but the reality was it was safer for her not to.

"I'll drive past the house and_"

"No. This is my fight, Randy," his mother said as she put her palm gently on his cheek. "You're my baby. I should have been a lot stronger."

He brought his hand up to his mother's on his cheek.

"You're the strongest woman I know," he said softly. "And I would go through all this shit with Dad a million times over to keep you safe."

"I don't think he'll ever be the father you want him to be."

"I came to that conclusion myself," he said, his voiced laced with sadness. "It's just as well, because I'm never going to be the son he wants me to be. I wish it didn't have to be like this, but being with Katrina is more important to me than what that man thinks of me."

"You're the son _I_ want you to be," Elizabeth smiled. "And I'm very glad it's come to this because after all the stuff you went through, I really didn't think I'd ever see you fall in love. I'm proud of you, baby."

He blinked back some tears. Grown men didn't cry because they had finally done something right.

"Thanks, Mom. That means a lot to me," he whispered, bringing her hand to his lips.

He turned to leave, hoping to hide his face from his all-seeing mother.

"Call me when you get there," his mother called out.

"Yes, Mom."

* * *

"You can stay in your room. I'm sure the other guys can handle the workload," Hunter suggested.

Katrina rolled her eyes as she searched through her bag for her boot.

"Quit fussing. I'll be fine."

"I know, but... Just come straight back here after the show, alright?"

"Yes, Daddy. Now get the fuck out of here. I need to get ready," she snapped.

When Hunter folded his arms across his chest and frowned at her she rolled her eyes.

"Get the fuck out of here, please."

"Much better," Hunter grinned as he turned to leave. "If Jeff doesn't show up, call me and I'll give you a ride."

"Ok," she answered distractedly.

She had emptied all her things on to the bed but still couldn't find her other boot. Her insanely light packing meant she'd only packed one pair. It was supposed to snow, and Chicago could be a bitch when it snowed.

She paused briefly and emptied her thoughts. Now wasn't the time to think about winters in Chicago.

Swearing out loud she got on her hands and knees to look under the bed.

* * *

Jeff nodded a greeting to Hunter when he met him in the hallway.

"You're cutting it fine," Hunter said.

"Got caught up with something," he lied.

Truth was he'd been early and had spent most of the afternoon in Matt's room. He had even considered getting a separate room but he had promised Katrina things wouldn't change. Nothing was going to make him break his word.

"I need a favour," Hunter said.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I... I need you to keep your eyes open tonight," Hunter said.

"Okay. What am I looking for?"

"I don't know. If I knew what they looked like they'd be dead," Hunter growled.

He frowned. Then it dawned on him. They were in Chicago.

"It happened here. Oh, my god," he whispered. "Is she okay?"

"She says she's fine. She says it everytime we come here but she never is. By the end of the night I either have to scrap her off the hotel room floor because she's drank herself into a stupor or I'm with her all night because she's breaking down. But she's still determined to go out there and do her job. I'm always stuck between hoping we don't bump into anyone so I can protect her, and hoping we do bump into them so I can kill them all."

"I'll keep her in the room."

"You can't do that. You're barely holding yourself together," Hunter said.

He ran his fingers through his hair and looked away from Hunter's eyes.

"Is it that obvious?" he asked.

"Yes. Get it together, man. If you get caught then I'll get into trouble for giving you the book in the first place," Hunter hissed. "She's not going to agree to stay in her room, so just keep an eye out for anybody who freaks her out and get her straight back here as soon as the show is finished. Shawn and I will stay close but she's been avoiding us all day. Will you do that for us?"

He nodded. He'd do anything to keep Katrina away from anybody who wanted to hurt her.

"Thanks. Now hurry up."

He watched Hunter walk away before he opened the door, noting that this suite didn't have separate bedrooms but thankfully had two single beds on either side of the furthest wall. There wasn't enough room on a single to share, and hopefully Katrina would look at all the heavy looking furniture between the beds and decide it wasn't worth putting them together.

And then he noted that Kitty Kat's firm butt was sticking up from under one of the beds' wriggling this way and that.

"Damn," he whispered.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home."

Katrina bumped her head on the bed frame at the intruding voice and then slipped out from under the bed. Her irritation was short lived when she saw Jeff standing by the door.

"Thank God you're here!" she said as she rushed forward to him, holding out the lone calf-high, fake fur-trimmed boot. "I can't find my boot. We have to leave in the next few minutes and I have nothing to freakin' wear."

She was well aware she sounded hysterical but freaking out about her shoes was better than freaking out over other things.

"Calm down," Jeff said as he put his arm over her shoulder and led her to her scattered things. "I'm sure it's here somewhere."

"It's not here. I've looked everywhere."

"Maybe you missed it," Jeff said as he put his bag down. "I'll look."

She nodded and watched him look through her belongings, unconsciously biting her nails. When he finally stopped searching she walked to the windows to look out at the city. She was going to have to go out there to buy some shoes.

Jeff came to stand next to her. He was frowning and she could see the worry in his eyes. She cleared her thoughts and tried to calm herself. Tonight wasn't the night for questions.

But when he gently brought his hand up and pulled hers down from her lips, effectively stopping her nail biting, she knew she had given herself away. And she knew the questions would come anyway.

"Maybe you should stay here tonight," Jeff suggested. "You seem a little... agitated."

"I'm fine," she said, turning away from him and walking towards the door. "I just need to go get some shoes."

She'd have to wear her fluffy slippers and catch a cab to the nearest shoe place. There was one down the road; she could be in and out without having to talk to anyone. And it wasn't as if they were in any of her old haunts, Chicago was a big place.

"Wait," Jeff started.

"We don't have time. I'll meet you downstairs_"

"I know where your other shoe is," Jeff cut in.

"Well?" she demanded.

Jeff's frown increased as he walked to stand in front of her. Then he looked down at her feet. She followed his gaze and frowned, vaguely remembering wearing the boot just before Hunter had knocked on her door.

"Honest mistake," she murmured.

"Kitty, look at me."

She met the gaze and saw the questions coming. Part of her wished he would say something that would enable her to pick a fight so she could concentrate on that instead. Anything was better than her other option.

"Are you going to talk to me?"

"I'm fine."

"You know I'll always be here for you, no matter what, don't you? You don't have to keep things from me."

She looked away from his eyes, using the excuse of putting her other boot on.

"I'm fine," she repeated. "Let's go, we're late."

She couldn't let anything slip, not tonight.

She picked her back pack up and left the room without looking to see if he was following.

* * *

Maria walked out of the office and handed her uncle a backstage pass.

"You didn't have to come, you know. I'm alright."

"Your mum insisted. Besides, I have to make sure you don't do too much so soon after losing the baby," George said.

Maria bit her teeth.

"I don't want to talk about that," she said firmly.

"I get that. But that boy is going to have a lot to answer for when I get my hands on him."

"He's six feet four. Not to mention he works out every day," she pointed out.

She tried not to sniff at her uncle's appearance. He used to be leaner but ever since his wife left him and he lost his job he'd become a couch potato surviving on junk food. The beer belly, the fat rolls, the bald patch on the top of his head badly covered up by the thinning hair on the sides... She wasn't even going to start on the beady eyes.

She really didn't want him here.

"We've got to show him that there are people who have your back," George continued. "Now, where's your dressing room? Are all the other girls there?"

"You're not allowed in there," she said as she started walking towards catering. "I'll meet you over there when I'm ready then but I'll be a while. I need to go through Hair and Makeup."

"So you want me to just sit there and wait? What was the point of me coming, then?"

"I thought it was to offer me moral support," Maria answered.

"Of course, of course," George said quickly. "Take all the time you need, I'll be fine here."

She tried not to roll her eyes as she watched her uncle sit down at the nearest table. Thankfully the Catering area was empty. The last thing she wanted was to offer introductions.

Something caught her uncle's eyes and she turned to see what – or more specifically – who it was, because she knew Gorge had only come here for one reason only. When she saw Katrina with her minions going into a dressing room her blood boiled. She turned her gaze to George again.

"Want an introduction?" she asked.

"What? No, don't be silly. I'm here for you," George said. "Am I allowed to help myself to whatever I want from the table?"

"Yes."

She turned away without another word.

Why would her mother even think of insisting on this?

* * *

Randy looked at the board and noted Hardy's locker room. Since he shared with a few other guys, Katrina didn't hang around there but if he didn't find her in her usual hideouts he would have to knock on Hardy's door. The man wouldn't be thrilled that he was pursuing his woman, but he'd heard all was fair in love and war. And this was both.

"Want me to ask around?" John asked.

"No. Won't do any good. You'd be surprised how good she is at staying invisible," he murmured.

"Well, look who it is."

He turned at the sound of the voice, looking Mickie in the eye and daring her to say another word.

"How can you even stand here after what you did?"

He growled.

"I'm not scared of you. You think you can raise your hand at me like you did to Maria?"

"What?"

Now that he hadn't expected.

"I've always known you're a shitbag but now everyone knows you're a coward, too. You give a bad name to all the real men out there," Mickie sneered. "Maybe it's a good thing Maria lost the baby so she doesn't have to be tied to you for the rest of her life."

He looked at John and took in the shocked expression on his face. He was pretty sure his own looked similar.

"Just leave before you cause any more trouble," Mickie said before brushing past then.

What. The. Fuck.

He'd given Maria permission to use any story but to make out like he was abusive? That was low. That was messing with him on a whole different level.

"Maybe we should leave until we know what the situation is like," John suggested.

"I came here to see Katrina and that's exactly what I'm going to do," he said.

He hoped none of this crap had reached her ears, and if it had that she would know it wasn't true. Getting her to give him the time of day was hard enough as it was.

* * *

Katrina walked up to a vending machine and pressed the button for a diet coke. What she really wanted was alcohol. The night hadn't even really started yet and already her nerves were shot.

"How can you even show your face around here?"

She rolled her eyes and picked her coke up before turning around. Maria wasn't alone. Her ever faithful Eve was right next to her with a bunch of other Divas. She looked at all of them and smirked.

Really. Were they really going to try to beat her up?

She popped the top of her can open and took a long, easy swallow of her drink.

"I should be asking you the same question," she said after wiping her mouth with the back of her sleeve.

"Matt and Jeff weren't enough for you?" Eve asked.

"No. I'm quite partial to gang bangs. Randy fit the bill perfectly but I'm still on the hunt for a few more men. Huge dicks a must. Know anyone?"

Ah, what the hell. Maybe a bit of physical activity was just what she needed. Since she wasn't going to ever sleep with Jeff again and Randy was definitely a big 'no', a good ol' throw down with a few skanky hos would have to do.

There were six of them; she knew she didn't stand much of a chance even if they fought like little girls. But Hunter hadn't taught her to defend herself for nothing. And the whole martial arts thing was a bonus. She'd get a few good hits in there even if it killed her!

"How did they even let you back here?" one of the Twins asked.

"She's sleeping with Hunter, too," the other replied. "I saw them kissing the other day."

She chucked at their outraged expressions and took another sip.

"Yeah, I've got Hunter. Shawn, too, if you're interested. I'm a bad, bad girl," she said as she put her can down and pulled the sleeves of her hoodie up. "The question is: what the fuck are you going to do about it?"

She still had the smile on her lips when Maria lunged at her. She easily sidestepped her and gripped her by her hair to bring her head down to her knee.

"You bitch!" Maria screamed as she brought her hands up to her nose.

With her adrenaline pumping, her smirk widened. The ho was so lucky she hadn't smashed her face into the wall.

Maria lunged at her again, but this time she couldn't move out of the way quick enough. Her fist caught the side of her face and hurt like fuck. It also momentarily dazed her so she didn't see Maria coming at her again until she had already been knocked into the wall behind her. The back of her head was going to bruise but she didn't give a shit. This was better. This was a lot better.

"That's for taking my man," Maria screamed.

"Honey, that just means you weren't good enough to keep him," she said as she roughly pushed Maria away with enough force to knock her onto her ass.

She followed, using her body weight to keep Maria down and punching her before she could right herself.

"That's for messing with Jeff," she shouted before quickly punching her again. "And that's for being a nasty lil' ho."

She felt herself being roughly pulled off Maria and knew her luck had run out. Somebody kicked her in the ribs while another clutched her short hair and dragged her away from Maria. She didn't cry out.

She wanted the pain.

But she also wanted to take as many down with her as she could.

It was her luck that the first foot she grabbed belonged to Eve.

* * *

**AN/ Ding ding ding!**

**Slowly but surely it's all falling apart...**

**So we've had a little bit more of Randy's background. We're going to have a little bit more of Grace in the coming chapters. Then there's Jeff. Yes. Yes, it's all going to go BANG.**

**Thank you to all my old and new readers and reviewers. I appreciate every single one of you.**


	31. Chapter 31

Katrina twisted Eve's ankle as hard as she could, bringing the Diva down flat on her face. The resulting scream made her wince a little bit. Hopefully nothing was broken. She didn't want to maim anyone.

But she _did _want to fight.

She used the momentary distraction to attack the woman who'd pulled her hair, noting with satisfaction that it was one of the Twins. She didn't care which one, they both pissed her off. She was very tempted to punch the living shit out of her but she opted to slap the taste out of her mouth instead. She didn't really have any beef with her, or any of the other Divas. Just Maria and Eve.

But tonight wasn't even about Maria or Eve.

She almost sighed in satisfaction when she was tackled from the side and landed hard on the concrete floor. Twin number two was on her straight away, defending her sister, punching her for all she was worth. Then the others joined in, kicking, clawing...

Katrina didn't defend herself.

She lay there and welcomed it.

Until Maria joined the fight again.

"Break the stupid bitch's face," Maria screamed. "I want her to pay for this."

But something inside her wouldn't allow the woman Randy had almost married to have the upper hand. It just wouldn't.

* * *

Randy saw the looks the men threw at him as he walked past them. Hostile. Disgusted. He was quite sure had there not been a strict rule against backstage fighting he would have been attacked. Maria had a lot to pay for. He'd never really been liked before but at least he had been respected, and he preferred that to the other.

But all of that didn't really matter. He didn't like people thinking he beat women but he'd be damned if he explained himself to any one of them. Maybe that was why Maria had felt like she could hit him below the belt; because she knew he wouldn't do a damn thing to change anybody's opinion of him. The people that mattered would know none of this was true, anyway.

Except Katrina.

Damnit!

Sometimes their lovemaking had been a little... rough. She certainly had more reason than most to believe he could do such a thing.

Maybe that was why she had left him in the first place.

Maybe that was why she was with Hardy.

He'd never hung around with the guy but he'd heard all the disgusting talk from the female population backstage about how _sweet_ and _romantic _he was. He'd always felt better if he translated that to 'pussy', but he'd tried to keep Katrina away from him just in case. Fat load of good that had done him! Katrina had obviously fallen under Hardy's spell. She had feelings for him, but there was no denying she felt something for Hardy, too.

Otherwise she wouldn't have sounded like she was in some sort of heaven the night he'd heard her with Jeff.

He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, where it couldn't hurt him. Or anyone else.

If Katrina wanted sweet and romantic, he could do that. He could do gentle. Hell, he'd be so gentle she wouldn't even remember she'd ever called out Jeff's name.

"Something's going on over there," John said, interrupting his thoughts and pointing. "Looks like a fight."

As they approached the screaming, he got a sinking feeling in his stomach. He was quite sure he'd heard Maria's voice. And Maria had only one person she disliked enough to break the rules for.

"Fuck!"

He pushed through the gathering crowd to get to the front, quickly taking note of what was happening. Eve was sitting along the wall with a bloody nose and nursing her foot while a few Divas had ganged up over someone. He was willing to bet his life's savings that it was Katrina. A few people were trying to stop the fight, pulling the Divas back but they kept going back, kept hurting her.

"Help me stop this," he called to John.

He pushed in through the fighting Divas, wincing when he caught some hard kicks. He didn't let that deter him from putting his arms around Katrina, using his body to shield hers on the floor. Only after all the Divas had been restrained did he relax his hold on Katrina.

Then what he saw made him pause.

Katrina had a sleeper hold on Maria, a rather tight, dangerous looking one that saw his ex-fiancé limp in her arms. While one arm was around Maria's neck with the other locking it in place, her legs were wrapped tightly around his ex-fiancé's waist. And he knew firsthand how powerful her thighs were. It occurred to him that the other Divas had probably been trying to make her let go. All that kicking and punching... yet none of it had moved her.

And when he moved away from her so he could look at her face, he saw a certain look on her bruised face that made him frown. She seemed... vacant. Like she wasn't even aware of all the pain she had been subjected to. Like she was somewhere else.

"Katrina?" he questioned.

The crowd around them was bigger now, the noise almost deafening as the restrained Divas tried to get back into the fight. But Kat didn't seem to notice anyone.

"Katrina!" he tried again.

If she didn't let go Maria would get seriously injured. He didn't want anything like that hanging over Katrina's head.

Urgently, he tried to prise her arm away from Maria's neck.

"Katrina, listen to me. You need to let go."

He got nothing again.

Almost panicking, he moved behind her again and slipped his arm between the two women's bodies, ready to use force if he had to. But the moment he touched her again she flinched and focused on him.

"The fuck are you doing?" she snapped as she tried to get out of his hold. "Let go of me!"

"You need to let her go."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise you'd be so worried about Maria," Katrina said, her voice mockingly sweet.

But her hold loosened and he took advantage, lifting her from Maria in one swift movement. Then he carried her as far away from the scene as fast as he could. He stumbled a few times because the woman just wouldn't stop struggling and swearing at him.

He found an empty room and made sure the door was locked before he released her. The room was small and stuffy, and the only piece of furniture was an old, shabby couch along one wall.

"It's _you _I'm worried about. You're bleeding."

Her nose was dripping and her lip was cut. He could see other bruises on her arms as well that made his rage boil over. Nobody was allowed to hurt her. Nobody.

Somebody was going to have to pay for this.

"I'm fine," Katrina snapped.

He walked forward to check over her bruises but stopped when he saw how much she tensed and put her arms around herself as if to comfort herself. Or to protect herself.

"Let me see what they did to you," he said.

"They fight like a bunch of little girls, I didn't even feel that. I said I'm fine, leave me alone."

She didn't look at him a single time, and the longer he stood in front of her the stronger the tension he felt from her. Something wasn't right.

He backed away slowly, and watched as her tension eased slightly. Was she _afraid _of him? Did she really think he would beat her up or something? Frowning, he watched her slow movements as she took her hooded top off and used it to stem the flow of blood from her nose. He swore under his breath when her t-shirt briefly lifted with her movements and he saw the bruises on her upper body.

One look from her stopped him in his tracks again when all he wanted to do was make sure she was alright. Something was definitely wrong. She had never been scared of him before, even when things had got a little too rough.

It hurt.

He had really wanted her to be on his side, no matter what. But it was still alright. He would prove to her that what Maria was saying was all bullshit. He would prove that he would never ever raise his hand to any woman in anger. He would still earn back her trust somehow.

He backed away all the way to the door and watched as she gingerly lowered herself onto the couch. He didn't miss the way she winced as she did that, or how she gritted her teeth at the effort. Rage filled him again. Somebody really had to pay for this.

Katrina took the top from her face then tilted her head back and pinched her nose in an effort to stop the bleeding.

"I need to take you to a medic."

"I said I'm fine," she repeated.

"Your ribs are bruised. They could be broken_"

"But they're not. Just leave me alone, Randy."

He didn't say anything else. He'd learned quite early in their relationship that she could be very stubborn if she wanted to be. If he wanted the medic to see her he was going to have to bring the guy here.

But first he needed to calm himself down.

He didn't hit women, but if he didn't take a moment to control himself then Maria and her friends were in so much danger. Then all he would achieve would be confirmation of the stupid rumours.

His ears picked up a little sound from Katrina and his eyes narrowed on her. She was in pain. His rage boiled over again as he pulled his phone out then quickly sent a message.

John's reply was short and straightforward.

_We are already on our way._

Satisfied, he slipped the phone back in his pocket. Then he clenched his fists tightly at his side and prayed for self control.

* * *

Katrina finally lifted her head again when she felt like the bleeding had stopped. She gently touched her nose. It wasn't broken but damn those women and their surprisingly strong punches!

She carefully wiped her nose again but she knew it wouldn't do her any good. She'd look like shit until the swelling and bruising went down.

Randy was still standing by the door. When she finally dared to look at him, she was almost knocked over by the anger coming from him.

"Randy?"

She knew she'd failed to keep the nervousness from her voice. This situation was a little bit too similar to... to old times.

And now that the adrenaline rush was over, she realised how stupid she had been.

She'd got beat up in Chicago... to forget about being beat up in Chicago.

"They should never have touched you," Randy growled.

Then she realised the anger wasn't directed at her.

A little warmth spread through her body. He was feeling protective of her. A lot of people felt protective of her but that was only because they knew of her past. Jeff had been the only exception.

And now Randy was, too.

"It was my fault. I pushed them," she admitted.

"They should have known better than to mess with what's mine."

"But I'm not yours."

His gaze pierced through her, sending heat through her body at the intensity.

"Yes, you are."

A simple statement. And said with so much conviction that she felt shivers down her spine. But it could never be true.

"I need to go. I have to clean myself up; the show is starting in a few minutes."

"The medic is coming. Then if he says you don't need the hospital, I'll take you to your hotel room and you can get cleaned up there."

"I don't have to do anything you say," she stated.

And the sooner she was away from him the better. In fact, the sooner they got out of Chicago the better.

"Yes, you do. If you stay then I stay, and I swear, I will not be held responsible for what I do to the women who did this to you."

"You wouldn't beat up women," she snorted.

She actually felt some of the anger leave him as his stance relaxed a little.

"Thank you for saying that," he said softly. "But you're hurt and I want to take care of you."

"You're still trying to get back into my panties, aren't you?"

"This has nothing to do with that, Katrina. I care about you_"

She snorted as she slowly got to her feet again. Her head was slightly spinning and her ribs were killing her but she ignored the pain. She could focus on it later.

"Really? If this had happened some months ago you would have protected your little Maria and spent the night taking care of her."

"Things were different then. I had to do what was expected of me because I desperately wanted to belong. I wanted my father to be proud of me. So I don't know, maybe I would have protected Maria," Randy said as he took a step forward. "But I know for certain I would have come to you the second I could, and spent the whole night taking care of you. I was unfair to you, I know that. You deserved better than that. You _deserve_ better than that. I was a bastard and your good sense is probably telling you to stay the hell away from me. But please, Kat, don't listen to it. I cared about you. I _care a_bout you. And all I want to do right now is to take care of you."

The warm feeling intensified. For a moment she even forgot about her painful ribs. She forgot about everything.

Then he took another step forward and she remembered it all again.

She flinched and took a step backwards, wrapping her arms around herself as everything came crashing into her again. Chicago. Illinois. She should never have come.

"I won't hurt you, Katrina. Why are you afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid of any-fucking-one," she snapped as she turned away from him.

No, she should never have come.

The handle of the door rattled and she whirled around in a panic, only to meet Randy's eyes. He was frowning. Thinking. Wondering. She could tell. She could tell he had questions.

But thankfully whoever rattled the door handle decided to follow that up with some loud knocks. Randy seemed to forget his questions as he rushed to unlock the door. And in walked Superman and a man she had never seen before.

She felt herself involuntarily tense up in reaction. The room was too small.

"Please lie down on the couch," the strange man said.

It wasn't happening again. It wasn't the same. Of course it wasn't the same.

"Miss...?"

She felt the wall behind her and realised she had somehow backed away. And when she looked up she saw all three men had similar thoughtful frowns on their faces.

"What is this?" she hissed.

"You really need to get looked at," Randy replied.

"I told you I was fine," she snapped.

"Katrina_"

"You should have listened to me," she cut in coldly.

"You look really hurt," John said. "Let the guy check you over."

"What I need is for you to just leave me the fuck alone. I can take care of my damn self."

To prove it she pushed herself off the wall, ignoring the shooting pain as she marched past them to the door.

"Katrina_"

"No."

Hunter. She needed to find Hunter so he could take her out of here.

She headed down the hallway, ignoring the looks and whispers. Hunter's dressing room was close to all the administrative offices so he could be on hand to help solve any problems. As this was a house show he wasn't going to have his segments with Jeff about the title Jeff had won at Armageddon. She didn't know what match he had but she hoped he could run her back to the hotel and still make it back to the arena for it.

She neared Catering and decided to scan the area to see if he was hanging around there with Shawn. Then she froze.

Her whole body went numb.

She forgot to breathe.

She felt her lungs start to burn from lack of oxygen but for the life of her she couldn't remember how to suck the air back in. And she seemed to have forgotten how to run.

Because she needed to run. She needed to get the hell out of Chicago.

She should never have come.

* * *

**It begins. (Sort of. Slowly.)**

**I think I'm going to enjoy tearing Katrina apart until only her bare bones remain. I'm a huge fan of slow, emotional torture... Hahaha**

**As always, thank you for reading and your lovely reviews of the last chapter. I promise I'm going to work on Sex on Fire soon. This chapter was longer but I've split it in two because Katrina's actions and reactions here mark the beginning of the end for her life as she knows it. I'm currently adding on to the next one to make it a respectable length so hopefully the next update will be much quicker.**

**Much love.**


	32. Chapter 32

"I hope you had those ribs looked at. "

Dolph walked up behind Katrina on his way to grab a quick bite to eat. He had a match tonight, and he was hoping this would be the one that would impress his bosses enough for them to use him regularly, preferably on the televised shows.

"Katrina?"

He repeated himself again, certain she hadn't heard him. Something wasn't right with her. It wasn't the fact that she'd thought she could single-handedly take on six women wrestlers by herself - which he thought was absolutely crazy, no matter how impressive the few moves she had thrown were. And it wasn't the way she was just standing in the middle of the hallway staring into space.

He could actually _feel _fear rolling off her like waves.

He frowned, looking around the busy area. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Everyone was talking about everyone else as usual like they had nothing better to do but nobody was paying any attention to Katrina.

"Katrina, I'm going to take you to Jeff, okay?"

He had seen Hardy with Hunter and Shawn going into Hunter's dressing room just before he had seen the crazy woman get herself beat up. Having restrained one or two of the Divas and deposited Eve into the hands of the EMTs, he'd heard a mob forming and they all wanted Katrina's head. She would be a lot safer with her friends than standing here.

"Come on," he urged when she didn't make a move.

He sighed. Then slowly reached for her hand, hoping she wouldn't just turn around and shout "Got ya!" or something like that. She would probably tease him about that for a long time.

But when he touched her he heard her take a very deep breath. Like she had been holding it all along. Then she turned her head to look at him, and he had to take a step back.

He saw her unshed tears.

And he saw the fear he had felt from her, only magnified a million times over that for a moment he got scared, too.

"Want to get out of here?" he asked.

She nodded. And when he offered her his hand she took it without hesitation.

He turned her back the way he had come and straight to the exit. He hadn't had a chance to change out of his street clothes before he'd come upon all the backstage drama so he still had his car keys in his jean. One of the guys would have to bring his bag back to the hotel.

And of course there was the match he had to forfeit...

He looked at Katrina's face again as he secured her in his rental. He was going to get fined for the no-show, and possibly lose whatever ground he had gained in the business. But how could he leave her when she looked like this?

* * *

"We trusted you," Shawn said.

"I had to meet Hunter. She promised she'd stay in the locker room," Jeff said as they rushed down the hallway.

"You could have brought her with you, you moron," Shawn snapped.

Hunter opened the next door they came to; mumbling an apology when he saw it was the Divas' locker room.

"She didn't want to come. What did you want me to do? Tie her up and throw her over my shoulder?"

Hunter rolled his eyes and ignored the bickering. He took out his phone and tried her number again, then almost smashed it against the wall when he heard her voicemail again. Where the hell was she?

"Do you know what happened the last time we were here?" Shawn asked.

"Shawn," he warned.

They had already revealed too much of her business. Anything Jeff learned from here on out had to come from Katrina.

"If he understood he would never have left her alone in there."

He saw Randy and John coming from the opposite direction and breathed a sigh of relief. If the man was here tonight he was here for one reason only.

But his relief was short lived when he saw what he was holding.

Katrina's hoodie. Katrina's _bloody_hoodie.

"What the hell happened?" he bellowed.

"Didn't she tell you?"

"We can't find her anywhere. What happened, Randy?"

His chest tightened as he listened to Randy's account of what had happened.

"Where are they?" Jeff growled.

"Cool it, Hardy," he warned. "They'll get what's coming to them."

Especially when Steph heard about it. His wife was flying in for RAW tomorrow morning, and as the woman who'd taken it upon herself to be Katrina's mother, those Divas were going to pay.

"So where did she go?" Shawn asked.

"She bailed on me when the medic showed up. I didn't find her when I went after her so I assumed she was with one of you," Randy said.

"Keep looking," Hunter ordered. "And if you find her, don't let her out of your sight."

He was about to walk away when Randy grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Is she... Is she alright?"

He looked at the young man's face and realised Katrina had probably raised some concerns. And knowing Randy the way he did, he would want to get to the bottom of them.

Before he could answer, one of the writers ran up to them. He looked so distressed that for a moment he thought something else had happened to Katrina.

"Ziggler just called. He's a no-show and we don't have anyone suitable to take his place," the man said.

"Look, work something out. I have something more important to deal with," he snapped.

"The match is in fifteen minutes! I tried to talk to him but he said he's with a sick friend and isn't going to leave her tonight."

He frowned. Then he took his phone out and found Ziggler's number. A quick look at Shawn and Jeff revealed they were probably thinking along the same lines.

"Hunter... Sir... I'm sorry I've let you down but I really can't make it tonight," Dolph said as soon as he answered.

"Where are you?"

"At the hotel."

"Are you with Katrina?" he asked.

"Yes. You know her?"

Not many people knew she was his family. Katrina preferred it that way. He gave a silent prayer of thanks that she hadn't disappeared somewhere in the streets of Chicago, terrified and all alone.

"Yes. Is she alright?"

There was silence.

"Dolph!"

"I don't know," Dolph answered finally. "She's sitting on the floor, smoking one after another. And she's … she's shaking."

He closed his eyes and turned away from the faces that were watching him. They were never coming back to Chicago after tonight, no matter what the Board said. He couldn't put this much stress on Katrina anymore.

"Ah... Alright, thanks for taking care of her, Dolph. I owe you. But you need to come back for your match."

"I can't leave her alone, Hunter."

"I'm sending Randy to take care of her."

"_What?_"

He turned around to scowl at Hardy.

"We have matches tonight," he reminded Jeff.

"But she needs me," Jeff protested.

"And you're the WWE Champion. Katrina... All of this will still be there after the show" he said before turning to Randy and John. "Will you do it?"

"Of course," Randy said.

Nodding his head he turned his attention back to the phone call.

"Dolph, I'll have your match moved back so you have a little more time to get ready. Can you do it?"

"Yes. Um... She won't talk to me but... is she okay?"

He looked at Randy because he had asked the same question.

"She's fine," he answered both of them. "Randy will be there in a few minutes. I'll see you when you get here."

He hung up and turned his attention to Randy and John.

"She won't like that I'm sending you but under the circumstances, I think it's for the best."

He could see Shawn and Jeff glaring at him but he ignored them. Katrina was in love with Randy. Maybe having Randy there would help her focus on something else.

"Don't crowd her. Just... leave her alone," he instructed.

A shrewd mind would question that and put the pieces together eventually. He saw the frown on Randy's face and knew the man was halfway there.

"She needs medical attention," John reminded them.

"Take a medic with you. Carol. Tell her I'll pay her for the night but she can take the rest of it off."

"I've already tried to get her checked_"

"Take Carol."

Would they guess that she was the only female EMT working tonight? When it came to doctors, dentists or anyone like that Katrina only had female ones.

"I'll be there as soon as I've had my match," he continued.

The men nodded and rushed away.

"Are you insane?" Shawn asked as soon as they were out of earshot. "I could have gone to her! That's the whole reason you asked me to come to Smackdown tonight!"

"Randy's just going to use this to his advantage. You know what a snake he is! She can't deal with him tonight," Jeff added.

He turned to his friends.

"Shawn, she would have kicked you out of there faster than you can say Hickenbottom! And Jeff, you wouldn't have lasted a minute without confessing that you know. So you two just zip it up. We'll be with her after the show."

"But she's hurt!" Jeff protested.

"You think I'm not worried about that? You think I don't want to go to her and hold her... promise her nobody's ever going to hurt her again?" he asked. "She gets hurt everytime we're here, Jeff. One way or another. And I... I don't know what I can do or say to help her. When I asked you to keep an eye on her tonight I thought being with you would keep her grounded a little bit, but obviously it hasn't worked like that. She cares about you but if you see her like this you are going to break down. Then tonight will probably be the last time you'll ever see her. As much as I hate to admit this, you've been good for her and I really don't want her to lose you.

"But you've sent Randy_"

"I've sent the man she loves. All the other times that she's gone into self-destruct mode, she never had that. Maybe Randy's the one who'll make a difference. Isn't that what you wanted, too? To get them together?"

"Of course," Jeff frowned. "But she's hurt... I want to... I need..."

Hunter watched the younger man's face and shook his head.

"Don't complicate things, Jeff," he warned quietly.

He met the Enigma's eyes. Then Jeff let out a breath, nodded and looked away.

Hunter sighed and started walking back towards the offices. What the hell was Jeff thinking, anyway? Katrina didn't need that.

* * *

Katrina watched as Dolph sat on the floor opposite her with his back against Jeff's bed. He'd opened all the windows but the cigarette smoke still hung in the air like a blanket. She could have sat right by the windows but an irrational part of her didn't want to even look out at the city, let alone sit so close to the windows that the stench of it assaulted her nose. She felt safer here, with her back against her bed and plastered as close to the chest of drawers as humanly possible.

Dolph hadn't come close to her since he'd brought her to her room for whatever reason, but she was grateful for that. It had given her a little bit of time to compose herself.

Hunter would have been falling apart and worrying about her. And after only a few minutes in her company, he would have guessed the reason for her reaction. Then there would have been a murder in Chicago, Illinois right in the middle of the arena with dozens of witnesses.

"That was Hunter. I have to get back for my match."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't think," she said as she put a cigarette out and pushed her wine glass away. "You go on. I'm alright now."

"It'll only take me a few minutes to drive back."

"Yeah, but you'll need a tonne of baby oil on you first," she teased, feeling a little smile on her face.

Dolph smiled back briefly and then looked down at his fingers. She knew he wanted answers. But she wasn't willing to provide them.

"I'm alright," she reassured him again. "It was probably shock over getting beaten up by those skanks."

Dolph smiled again but she knew he didn't believe her.

"Want me to run you a bath before I go? A soak will do you good. Plus you look like shit."

"You're so lucky I like you," she said, her smile bigger now.

"Damn," he said.

But she could tell he didn't mean that because he said it with a smile on his face, too.

"I'll have a shower," she said. "Then I think I'll just go to sleep. If I'm still up when the show is finished Hunter's going to tear me a new one for fighting with his Divas."

"I'll go and put everything you need where you can reach it," Dolph offered.

"You don't have to."

"I know."

He made to get up but paused and looked at her seriously.

"I don't know what happened," he said, "but if you ever want to tell me about it I won't throw it back in your face."

Then he stood up and walked to the bathroom. With a sigh she stood up, too, and walked to the drinks cabinet. She needed something a lot stronger than the wine Dolph had given her earlier. Hopefully she would pass out before Jeff got back and started asking questions. Dolph was the last person she would have expected to play her hero but he'd turned out to be the best option. They weren't friends so she didn't have to tell him anything at all. She didn't have to tell him about Chicago.

"None of that before you shower. I don't want you slipping and hitting your head or anything," Dolph said as he came forward and took the glass from her.

"It's one drink."

"You've already had a whole bottle."

"Of weak wine," she protested.

But Dolph shook his head and stood aside so she could walk past him to the bathroom. She rolled her eyes and did as she was told. There was no need to start anything; she could drink all she wanted as soon as he left.

She washed herself gently and then stood under the hot spray for only a few minutes. She winced a little as it stung her bruised body. She really needed to get that checked out. But tomorrow.

Tonight... Tonight was for forgetting.

And tonight was also for remembering. Remembering why she needed to pull herself together. Why she needed to be strong.

She wiped the steam off the glass door with an unsteady hand and let her eyes rest on the bathroom cabinet. There were painkillers in there. And razors.

But on the flip side was Hunter, the kids, the McMahons. Jeff. Dear Jeff. The man who had gone beyond the boundaries of their friendship to give her what she'd needed. And Randy.

Randy.

With a strangled breath she shut the water off quickly and opened the shower door. She wrapped a towel around body without bothering to dry herself. She had to get away from the temptation.

Dolph was still there when she ran out of the bathroom. With everything she was struggling to push out of her mind she had completely forgotten about him. She stopped and tried to compose herself. Dolph didn't say anything. He just sat on the bed and watched her.

Deciding to ignore him, she walked the rest of the way to the drinks cabinet and took the whiskey out again. She drowned the first shot quickly, relishing the way it set her throat on fire. She was about to drown her second shot when there was a knock.

She froze.

He wasn't here. He couldn't have followed her.

Could he?

"It's Randy."

She turned to see Dolph still watching her.

"Wh... What's he doing here?"

"Hunter sent him," he shrugged.

He stood up and walked to stand in front of her.

"If you want me to send him away, I will. I can stay until Jeff comes back."

"I don't need a babysitter," she snapped.

"Oh, please. The second I turn my back you're going to get drunk and start a fight with the hotel staff," Dolph snorted. "I don't want to feel responsible when all the papers tomorrow talk about a crazy woman power slamming the chef."

Translated he wasn't going to leave her alone.

Damnit.

"Go for your match. I'm going to bed," she muttered, the fight leaving her body.

Then it occurred to her that she was dripping wet and naked under the towel in front of a strange man. If she'd had her head screwed on tight that would never have happened.

She walked back to the bathroom and grabbed one of the huge hotel robes. By the time she had buried herself in it and walked back out, Randy was standing at the entrance with a woman she had noticed a few times backstage. She didn't have the energy to ask who the hell she was.

She met Randy's eyes briefly before shaking her head and walking to her bed. It was still a mess from when she had lost her boot earlier.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Dolph said.

She needed to thank him for what he had done for her. But she just wanted this day to be over. She wanted this nightmare to be over.

It didn't take long to shove everything off the bed. Then she slipped under the covers, robe, dripping hair and all. She couldn't deal with anything else today.

* * *

Randy waited impatiently outside the room. Carol had asked for some privacy but he had thought Katrina would refuse to see her like she had refused the other Medic. But he had been waiting for half an hour now so hopefully that meant she hadn't.

Was anything broken? Did she need the hospital or to fly straight back home? Raw wasn't until tomorrow night; if she had to go home he would take her himself and leave her safely tucked in her own bed. Then he would go back the second the show was over. He couldn't leave her now, not when there was something obviously wrong with her.

He was worried about her. He'd never cared enough about other people besides his family to worry about them like this. Realising he was in love with Katrina had really shifted his mental focus and now he had to learn what and who he was on top of working out what this love entailed.

He'd already worked out that being in love meant never giving up.

And he knew it meant life completely sucked without her.

But he had seen the look in her eyes as she had walked out of the bathroom to get on her bed and he'd hurt for her. So did that mean being in love would also suck when she was unhappy or hurting? He'd never seen her look so sad before and something told him this was a lot bigger than the fight she had had.

He needed to get to the bottom of this so he could fix it.

Then she wouldn't hurt anymore and his life would suck a little less.

The door opened and he immediately walked into the room. Katrina was dressed now in a t-shirt and sweats, propped up by a few pillows with her bottle of whiskey in her hands.

"Nothing's broken," Carol assured him immediately. "Her ribs are pretty bruised, though. I've wrapped them up and she's going to need to take it easy for a few days."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. She refused any pain killers. She'll be hurting for quite a while. I've left my number on the table in case you need me."

He saw Carol to the door and then walked to Katrina.

"Told you nothing was broken."

"I had to be sure."

"Now you are. You can leave now."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," he said as he sat down on the floor next to her bed and leaned against the chest of drawers.

He frowned down at the overflowing ashtray and empty bottle of wine. She couldn't have been back in her room more than half an hour before he'd showed up. That was an insane amount of nicotine and alcohol for such a short time.

"You're wasting your time, you know," Katrina said softly.

She hadn't looked at him a single time.

"I've told you before; it's my time to waste," he said as he studied her.

The bruises on her arms and face were already darker and Carol had done her best to fix up the cuts. What in the world was Katrina thinking? She could have been seriously hurt.

"I'm being serious, Randy. You and me... we're never going to happen."

"And I don't believe for a second that it's because you feel nothing for me."

"It doesn't matter how I feel_"

"Yes it does. And I'm not going to stop until you give me another chance," he said firmly. "But I'm not here to talk about that tonight."

"Right," Katrina snorted.

Maria would have never snorted. A smile formed on his lips when he realised he liked it a lot that Katrina did. She had no pretences.

"So did you like your Christmas presents?"

"Didn't open them," Katrina said.

"Any idea when you might? I promise you'll like them."

Katrina grunted and took a swig of her whiskey straight from the bottle.

"Why don't you believe that?"

"Because you don't know shit about me. I was just a random woman you liked to fuck, remember? All the talking and friendly shit you did with your fiancé."

He grimaced. He should have seen that one coming.

"You were the only woman I made love to. The things I did with you... the things you made me feel... I swear to you, I've never felt so connected to anyone in my life," he admitted. "I'd been with Maria for some months when I saw you the first time, but I'd only... _been _with her a handful of times. She wasn't very fussed about the physical side of our relationship."

"I thought you weren't going to talk about that. Why are you telling me all this, anyway?

"Because I need you to understand something. My relationship with Maria was just a convenience, and she knew that perfectly well. The other women... they gave me what I needed for a night or whatever. But you... you were different from the beginning. You walked past me and I was immediately captivated. I didn't make a move straight away because something told me there would be no going back. The longer I watched you the more I wanted you. It took a lot for me to walk up to you the first time. Then you turned around, looked at me like I was shit under your shoes and told me to go away. Nobody's ever said no to me before."

"Aw. Did I hurt your ego?" Katrina said sarcastically.

He looked at her again. The dark look he had seen on her face before was gone now so maybe talking was taking her mind off it.

"You did actually. But that wasn't what had me worried. It was the fact that while I could take or leave the other women, I couldn't walk away from you. I should have known then... I should have known from the beginning but I've never felt anything like this before. I have nothing even close to compare it to."

He took a box of cigarettes from his pocket and offered her one. It was only as she was lighting up that he remembered the overflowing ashtray. He wasn't going to offer her another one tonight. It would be just his luck to finally get with her only to watch her die on him.

"You were a challenge. I even had to stalk you to find out what I could use to get you. Coming after you was the most fun and exciting thing I'd ever done to that point. Until the night you gave into me. Until I made love to you for the first time. Then that night, and every night since that I was with you became the most fun and exciting night. Because it was different everytime. And every single time we connected. I stopped seeing the other women, because you were all the woman I wanted."

He took a pull of his smoke and glanced at her. She seemed to be listening but she still hadn't looked down at him.

"In the beginning I told myself that it was only because the sex was so good. I told myself I could leave you if I ever had to and not look back. Because it was just sex. No strings. And it would remain that way as long as I didn't make an effort to know anything else about you."

"But I do know you, Katrina. I thought about it over our Christmas break when I was trying to make sense of it all. When you get that close to someone, you see things in their eyes... feel what they feel... pick certain things up from their words and actions... You became a part of me and I didn't even realise it until I lost you. Until I hurt so much from thinking of you with another man."

His voice broke and he cleared his throat. Now wasn't the time to focus on that. He could do that when he was alone in his room. Or never. Never was good.

He put his cigarette out and reached for her whiskey bottle. He almost spat it back out when he tasted how strong it was.

"How _the fuck_are you drinking this shit," he grimaced, his eyes watering as he swallowed. "It tastes like battery acid!"

"Be a man and take it."

He saw a little smile play on her lips. He liked her smiles.

"I _am_ a man! _Fuck_, that burns," he coughed.

He took a moment to recover and realised the smile on her face was bigger.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"You're such a pussy," Katrina said just before she let out a laugh.

He listened to the sound for a while, a smile on his lips.

"It's not my fault you're drinking something that's one hundred percent alcohol," he muttered.

He didn't drink any more, but he didn't give her the bottle back because he didn't want her drinking that shit either.

"So my point was I do know you, to a certain point, and I think you'll like what I got for you," he continued. "Will you open the presents?"

"You said all of that just to get to that silly little point? No, I'm not opening your presents. If you send flowers again I'll send them back with the delivery man. And while you're at it, stop texting me!"

"You're mean."

"Yes. Yes I am. So go find yourself a nice woman to spend your time with."

"I never said I like them nice," he grinned.

He grinned some more when she glared at him. She reached for the whiskey bottle again but he saw her wince and any amusement he'd felt disappeared.

"Don't do that. I'll pass you anything that you need," he said as he got up on his knees to study her again. "Do you want me to call Carol so she can bring you some pain killers?"

"I don't do pills," she said.

He frowned. Then he remembered the faint scars on her arms. He'd already guessed that she used to use recreational drugs. He just hadn't thought it had been that big a problem.

"Okay. What do you do instead?"

She took another swallow of the whiskey then grinned as she said, "I take it like a man."

Then she giggled and made herself comfortable on the pillows. He'd never heard her giggle before.

"You're drunk."

"Not even close."

But she clearly wasn't in a bad place anymore. He looked at her bruises again and decided he'd find out another time what the hell tonight had been about. It was enough for now that she wasn't scared of him. It was enough that she didn't look like she was falling apart.

"I'm starving. Want some food?"

"Sure. But we'll have to order room service though, 'cause Dolph said if I'm let loose I'll power slam the chef."

That set off another fit of giggles. He smiled and trailed his fingers gently down her bruised cheek.

"I'm going to make sure this never happens again," he promised. "I'm going to take care of you, Katrina, whether you like it or not."

Then the door opened and in rushed the very last man he wanted to see.

* * *

Jeff dropped his bag and rushed on to Katrina's bed, carefully setting himself on the small space between her and the wall. He completely ignored Randy and the fact that he seemed to have walked in on an intimate moment. And he completely ignored the fact that he wanted to take Randy's hand and shove it so hard down the man's throat for even daring to put it on Katrina.

Kat was hurt, damnit! He wasn't going to let anything stop him from taking care of her. It's what he did. As her best friend.

"Oh, Kitty Kat," Jeff sighed as he gently examined her injuries.

He carefully lifted her t-shirt up to look at her bound ribs.

"I'm alright," Kat said.

No she wasn't. But he looked at Randy for confirmation.

"Bruised, not broken," Randy said. "She has to take it easy for a while."

"See," Katrina said, then lifted a bottle to her lips.

He took the bottle from her and looked at the label. Then he frowned as he looked down at her grinning face.

"Yes, I see you're alright," he scowled.

It was a good night for her to be a happy drunk, but she should have been dealing with her situation better.

"Don't be a spoil sport," Kat said.

She snatched the bottle from him and took a healthy swallow. Then he noticed that this happy drunk wasn't as happy as the one he normally hung out with. He could see the hint of sadness in her eyes. The distress. And he got the feeling that if he said or did one thing to upset her then she would easily snap and break down.

"You didn't wash your face paint off," Katrina pointed out.

"I had to get to you," he said. "I'll go take a shower now then we can eat."

"Randy was just about to order some food."

The man was staying? Sure, he wasn't really Katrina's boyfriend but Randy didn't know that. He should have disappeared the second he had come back.

"I could go," Randy offered.

Yes! Yes, please.

But if Kitty Kat wanted him here...

"No. No, please stay. I'll have whatever Kitty Kat's having."

He dropped a kiss on her forehead and then carefully got off the bed again.

"Where's Hunter?"

"Finishing up some last minute things. He and Shawn will be here soon," he answered as he got some clean clothes out of his bag. "And Matt, too."

"Damnit," Katrina said.

"You're friends now," he reminded her.

"Oh. Then yey, Mattie!"

And that was accompanied by a giggle. He noticed Randy turn his head to watch her.

"I've never heard her giggle before tonight," Randy said.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Randy nodded, a smile on his face. Then the smile disappeared quickly. Maybe the man realised he was talking about another man's girlfriend. Or supposed girlfriend. Whatever.

"Hey, is Superman coming?" Katrina asked, putting her hand on Randy's arm to get his attention.

"I could ask him to if you want," Randy said.

"Yes, please," Katrina said eagerly. "Do you know about his butt?"

"Uh...?"

"I wondered why he never uses it for his finishing move but then I realised a man wouldn't just lose the match, he'd lose his will to live if he got that huge thing smashed into him."

Randy grinned.

"Plus I think it would be cheating," Katrina continued thoughtfully. "I wonder if he's had it registered as a weapon."

Jeff turned away when he heard Randy's laugh.

Maybe Katrina getting drunk tonight was a good thing if it meant she wasn't going to break down. Maybe having all those people around her would make her focus on something else. And maybe Randy being here was a good thing, too, like Hunter had said.

He was still having trouble accepting that fact, though.

**So I want her to spend a bit more time with Randy and the people she's become sort-of friends with before I, you know, rip her to shreds.****This will probably really start in the next chapter. Piece by piece. Ha!****Thank you for reading and thank you for your reviews of the last chapter. ****  
**


	33. Chapter 33

**Thank you all you're your lovely reviews. Hope you enjoy this one. It's just setting the scene for… well, for things to come.**

**Ps: Kinda busy at the moment so I'm sorry, it's not proofread.**

* * *

Jeff finally put his pencil down and looked away from the sketch pad to study the real thing. He was sitting Indian style on top of the chest of drawers next to Katrina's bed so he could have a perfect view of her. She had eventually passed out from all the alcohol only a few hours before, a long time after he'd chased everyone back to their rooms so she could rest.

Well, almost everyone.

He turned his head to meet the Viper's eyes.

When Kat had begged Randy to stay instead of driving all the way across town to his own hotel, he'd had no choice but to give up his bed. He wasn't heartless. The man had to do a show while he only had a couple of quick media commitments in the afternoon. Randy would never have had a restful sleep on the small couch or the floor, though the man had insisted he didn't want to put him out.

"You know what's going on with her, don't you?"

He looked away from the observant gaze to study his sketch again.

"Don't know what you mean."

"I saw the way you were with her all night; you, Hunter and Shawn."

"Oh, yeah?" he said.

"Something's wrong with her."

"No shit, Sherlock," he grunted as he got off the drawers. "She got beat up by your psycho ex."

"You know that's not what I mean. She took those hits like she didn't even feel them, and I had to pull her from Maria because it was like she didn't even realise what she was doing. Then when I got her alone she was _scared_of me."

He walked away from Randy to stand by the windows and then lit a cigarette.

"Maybe she _should _be scared of you," he muttered. "You've done nothing but hurt her. I don't know how you could look at that beautiful face and still hurt her."

He heard Randy walk up to stand next to him.

"I fucked up," Randy said. "I've already admitted that."

"And you think you deserve a second chance. Yeah, I know that bit."

"Look, I know she's your girlfriend now but I'm not going to give up until I'm six feet under. I gave you a fair warning."

"You've got huge balls saying that to me right now."

"Giant balls. But you can't stop me, Jeff."

No he couldn't. And he wasn't supposed to.

He let out a puff of smoke then took the packet of cigarettes from his pocket.

"I can't stop you going after her. It's a free country," he said as he offered him a smoke. "But if you ever hurt her again I'm going to have to kill you."

"Are you giving me permission to go after your girlfriend?" Randy chuckled.

"You can go after her all you want. Won't do you any good, she thinks you're full of shit."

"But she just asked me to stay."

"She was drunk."

"You could have kicked me out when she passed out."

"I'm giving her what she wants. It's what you do when you love someone," he muttered.

Hunter's warning briefly crossed his mind. But it was too late. It was already complicated.

"Besides," he continued, "she's going to kick you out the second she wakes up."

"Fair enough," Randy said, pulling on his smoke. "I still want to know what you're hiding from me."

He gave Randy an irritated look.

"Assuming there's anything to tell, why would I tell you?"

"Because I want to look into her eyes and not feel like I'm drowning in a shitload of pain. And you care about her, so you should want the same thing."

He did. How he did!

He turned his head to look at Katrina's sleeping form as he put his cigarette out. He'd wanted Katrina to be with the man she loved but he wasn't so sure anymore if it would help her. If she couldn't even be in the city where it had all happened without falling apart then she needed a lot more help than that.

"Get some sleep, Orton. The sun will be up soon."

He walked back to the drawers to pick his sketches up and took a moment to study them again. They weren't like the others. These had pain underlining every single stroke of the pencil.

"They're very good," Randy said.

He'd come to stand right beside him and picked one up.

"No. They're not," he muttered.

"Well, if you don't want them, I'll have them."

He snatched the sketch back and growled, "No."

"You do these all the time?"

"Any chance I get," he admitted. "She's perfect."

And she wasn't his.

He dropped the sketches and turned to walk out of the room.

"I'm going for a walk."

"At this hour?"

He frowned and turned back.

"You don't get to question my decisions just because we spent a little bit of time together."

"I wasn't questioning your decision. Just pointing out that sane people don't go for walks in the middle of the night in this neighbourhood."

"Thanks for your concern, Randall."

"I'm not concerned. And don't call me that. Jeffrey."

He left without another word and made it only as far as the lobby. He used to love Chicago. Now every face he'd seen since Hunter had asked him to keep an eye out for Katrina had him questioning if they were part of Katrina's past. Part of Grace.

With a tired sigh, he ignored the inquiring glances from the man sitting behind the desk and sat down in one of the chairs.

* * *

Randy unashamedly searched through Jeff's laptop case. He'd seen him stuff some X-Box games in there; he needed something to occupy himself with until Katrina woke up. It didn't worry him that Jeff would walk in and see he'd made himself at home with his shit. The man shouldn't have gone out so late in the first place.

To say it had been the most surreal night of his life was putting it mildly. He'd shared a rather pleasant meal with the woman he loved and her boyfriend. Then Hunter and Shawn had arrived, with the same sad look in their eyes that Jeff had had all night. He and Jeff had given them some privacy with Katrina but after that nobody had even mentioned the fight again. And even though it was quite obvious that she was drinking so heavily because something was wrong, nobody had mentioned that either.

In fact, it was almost as if everybody had gone out of their way to pretend everything was alright.

Then John had arrived with Matt and Shane in tow and it had been like they were all the best of friends instead of people who hardly tolerated each other. Or at least, who hardly tolerated _him_. Until Dolph had stopped by to check on her and she'd practically ditched all of them to keep Dolph by her side. He hadn't stayed long but even from across the room he had seen how worried Dolph had been. He made a note to talk to him the moment he got a chance to find out exactly how he'd ended up bringing Katrina back to the hotel

Still, nobody said a damn thing.

No. Surreal wasn't even the word for it.

He had established two things tonight, though.

One was that something was definitely wrong. And the other was Hunter, Jeff and Shawn most certainly knew what it was.

Even John had pointed it out, a fact that Matt had agreed with as they had watched the three of them hovering around Katrina.

And now, to top it all off, he was spending the night with the woman he loved and her boyfriend.

He thought it was a bad idea. For one thing, that was wrong and awkward for so many reasons, least of all that they all knew he still wanted to be with her. For another, it meant Jeff would be sharing Katrina's bed. While everyone had hung out and talked, Jeff had squeezed himself right next to her on the single bed and Katrina had leaned back into him without a thought, letting Jeff hold her hand and shit. They had seemed comfortable together. And there was a certain familiarity between them that told him Katrina would never have been scared of Jeff the way she'd been scared of him.

Jealousy had reared its ugly head and he had announced he was ready to go. But she'd begged him not to; how could he have refused?

He found the games in the side pocket and took them out but discovered he wasn't in the mood to play any of them. Most of them would require at least a modicum of concentration, something he didn't possess tonight. As he was putting them back he felt something else in the pocket and pulled it out.

It was a book.

It was actually the same book that he'd picked out of Maria's collection. He would never have guessed Jeff to read this sort of book, either.

He flipped it open and read the preface again. Then he read two chapters and decided both Jeff and Maria needed to find much lighter reads. Something without rape and paedophilia. Something that didn't turn the stomach.

He put the book back where he had found it and looked over at Katrina's sleeping face across the room. He'd never seen her like this before. Their time together had never included any sleep. So looking at her now, freed from whatever weighed her mind when she was awake, was almost like looking at a different person. He got up from Jeff's bed to take a closer look.

Peaceful.

And so beautiful it hurt.

Would she ever be his? Jeff seemed so confident in their relationship, so much so that the threat to take her by any means necessary didn't faze him. He didn't like to think of that, not when he had given up everything he had ever known to be with her.

He sighed and kneeled beside the bed.

"As much as I want to break the two of you up I think I should go," he whispered. "I won't just lie there and watch you in another man's arms."

He ran his finger gently down her cheek, then withdrew it immediately when a frown formed on her face.

Jeff had run his fingers down her cheek all night. He'd got giggles. Why did she have to frown at him, even in her sleep? She muttered something and the frown grew. He moved back. Maybe she could sense him even in her sleep. It wasn't an encouraging thought.

"No…"

He frowned. She seemed to be having a bad dream.

"Stop…"

"Katrina," he said, shaking her gently. "Wake up. It's just a dream."

But she kept muttering and trying to roll away from him. She had to be hurting her ribs but she didn't wake up.

"Wake up, baby. Come on," he said, pulling her gently into his arms. "You're hurting your_"

She started struggling, using all her strength to lash out at him.

"Shit!" he swore when he caught a punch.

"Get off me! Get off me!" Katrina screamed.

"It's me," he shouted.

He moved so he was on the bed with her, gently restraining her. She was sweaty and trembling, and he could actually hear the fast tempo of her heart.

"Please… Please don't hurt me…"

His heart grew cold.

But he forced himself to calm down. She was probably dreaming of the fight she's had. That had to be it. The only reason he had rape on his mind was because of the damn book he'd started to read.

But he shook her a little harder anyway, until she finally woke, and still she tried to jump from his arms.

"It's me. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Randy," she whispered.

Then she immediately stopped resisting and fell back into his arms.

He didn't let go, even when she stopped trembling. Even when she slept again. Even when Jeff walked back into the room.

He looked up when the other man stood right next to the bed. Jeff had his eyes on Katrina, the same look on his face that he'd had all night. The niggling thought of rape pushed its way to the front again.

No matter how tightly he held her, it just wouldn't go away.

* * *

Katrina woke to a lot of pain and a very unreal scenario. Randy was still there. Paying the X-Box with Jeff.

She put her head back down and lay quietly for a few minutes, trying to decide which of her emotions was stronger. She was pissed off that Randy was still here, and that Jeff seemed to be all buddy-buddy with him like he was still trying to get them back together. But she couldn't ignore the fact that something had settled within her at seeing them both. Something had calmed down.

She chanced a look at the window, at the sunlight filtering through the blinds from the cold Chicagoan morning. Her heart squeezed and she looked away again, lifting her head again to look at the two men.

If she didn't think about all the things that had happened in this city she could pretend things were almost normal.

Or as normal as they could be when the best friend she had slept with only a couple of weeks before was hanging out with the man who wanted to keep sleeping with her.

"Cover me. I'm going in," Randy said.

"That's not what we discussed!"

"Yeah, but we'll kill them so much quicker this way."

"It ain't about how fast you do it. Patience, Grasshopper," Jeff said.

"Did you see how many guards there are? They'll kill us before_"

"See, this is why I didn't want to play with you. You don't know anything about teamwork," Jeff said.

"I play with others just fine. Just follow me."

"We'll be trapped if we go that way. Trust me, Randall."

"Stop it."

"It's the name your Mama gave you. Randall."

"At least she didn't call me Nero. 'Cause that would have just sucked."

She heard a growl and a dull thud.

"What was that? A banana? You threw a freakin' _banana _at me?" Randy asked without taking his eyes off the screen.

"Maybe it'll make you think long and hard next time you want to insult me. Now follow me. Don't try to be a hero; you'll get killed out there by yourself."

Katrina put her head down and decided that she was probably still drunk. Because those two together was just weird, no matter how good it felt to have them both there.

When she rolled over and tried to get out of bed she was shocked to discover both men at her sides, their game was abandoned at a crucial point.

"Morning, baby," Jeff said as he put his arm under her.

She mumbled a reply; disconcerted when Randy did the same to her other arm and they helped her up.

"Morning, Katrina," Randy smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Great," she answered as she shrugged their hands off. "And I can walk just fine."

"We're only trying to help," Jeff said.

"Yeah," Randy agreed.

She frowned at both of them. Then she shook her head and walked to the bathroom. Maybe she was still dreaming. It was no secret the two of them hated each other; no way would they be getting along like this.

She ran hot water into the tub before turning around and bracing herself. The mirrored cabinet mocked her. Tempted her. And it worried her that temptation was beginning to get too hard to resist.

"Need any help in there?"

She let out a breath when she heard Jeff's voice.

"I'm fine."

She was.

She had to be.

Quickly she opened the cabinet and took out her toiletries, slamming the doors shut harder than she needed to. By the time she'd brushed her teeth to get rid of the horrible taste in her mouth her bath was ready. She unwrapped her ribs, and five minutes later she was soaking her sore body. Her muscles felt the effects immediately.

If only the rest of her problems were as easy to soothe.

* * *

"I can't believe he would humiliate me like that," Maria ranted.

It had been a crappy night and now it was a crappier morning. She had discredited Randy but for some reason all people were talking about this morning was how his bitch had defended herself against six women. And to make that situation worse, Randy had swooped in and played hero, both to that whore and, inadvertently, her. Not exactly the actions of a cowardly woman beater.

"I'm going to talk to him today, Sweet Pea. Don't you worry."

She cringed at the words, and then composed herself enough to turn to her uncle.

"It doesn't matter what you say to him. He's not going to give a shit. My key is the people around him, the ones he thinks he can trust. If I plant enough seeds in them, he's going to have a lot of doors closed in his face. Then the one thing he truly loves in this world will slowly slip from grasp."

"What? The broad he's fucking?"

"No! His career."

She frowned at her uncle for even thinking that just because Randy was with someone else it meant he cared about her. Randy wasn't like that. He had been wired from birth to be a certain way; there was no way he had changed overnight.

"Okay. But I'm still sticking around, though. Just until all of this blows over."

"We've been through this. I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Just look at your face."

Her bruises were nothing. She could easily cover most of them up with make-up. That whore had to be a million times worse.

She sighed and continued pacing her hotel room. The twins were coming soon and she had to resume the role of recently miscarried, abused and cheated on ex-fiancé. That left little time to come up with an alternative plan.

"I'm going to go back to my room for a little bit," George said.

She let out a breath of relief.

"I'll call you when we have to leave. But this show will be the last. You really need to go home and let me handle this myself."

"My little Maria. All grown up now," George said.

She detected a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Yes, I am," she said firmly.

George walked to the door then stopped with his door on the handle.

"There was someone backstage last night that I used to know. I think you saw her, too, walking in with two or three guys when you took me to Catering."

Maria stopped pacing and faced her uncle.

"How am I supposed to know who you know?" she snapped.

"The people she was with looked like wrestlers. I wondered if you could go to them or call them to find out how I can get in touch with her," George shrugged.

She froze.

"Did one of them have coloured hair?"

"Yes," George said eagerly as he turned from the door.

"You know her?"

George smirked.

"We go back a long way," he said.

Her eyes narrowed on her uncle.

"How long?"

The smirk left his face.

"Just a few years. You have to understand, Sweet Pea. I was very lonely when your aunt left me."

"And?"

"She's a whore. Kept me warm on lonely, cold nights."

Mari almost gagged.

"I already know she's a whore. She's the one Randy's been sleeping with."

"No, I mean literally. Expensive one, too."

Maria took a moment to digest the information, and then a smile appeared on her lips.

All was not lost after all.


	34. Chapter 34

**Thank you for you reviews, PMs, alerts and favs. Or is it follows and comments? I don't like change. **

**Anyway, been busy. This has been stewing for some time but I don't know if it was ready to see the light of day yet. But it's the best I could do right now what with the kids on holiday. Hope you enjoy and I will try to uploadagain soon.**

**Kisses.**

* * *

Katrina took a deep and steadying but very painful breath as she stood by the bathroom door with the support bandage in her hand. There were going to be a lot of questions today. A hell of a lot of questions. She needed to get the hell out of Chicago to get her head straight before she could answer any of them. There was no other option.

She ran her fingers through her short hair again, thankful that she didn't need to look in the mirror to get her usual hair style. She knew her face was messed up. One eye was almost completely shut and her throbbing nose also felt swollen. At least it wasn't broken. Gently, she touched the bump on the back of her head and winced. Well, at least she wasn't concussed. Last night could have ended a lot worse for everybody. A few cuts, bruises and a pounding head were nothing.

She pulled herself together enough to walk out of the bathroom. Randy and Jeff were standing side by side at one of the windows, smoking. They seemed to be bickering about something but she didn't sense any hostility. And the very thing that had defined their relationship before was hostility.

She walked further into the room, noting the food that had been laid out on the coffee table. And one of them had made her bed.

"Jeff."

They both turned when they heard her and put their cigarettes out.

"Hey, Kitty. Breakfast just got here," Jeff said as he came forward.

"What's going on?" she asked, frowning at Randy as he came forward, too.

"Nothing," Jeff answered.

She scowled at him. If he was still trying to get her back with Randy they needed to have a serious talk.

"What's _he_ doing here?"

It didn't matter that _he_ could hear her. He shouldn't have been here in the first place.

"Ouch! Is that any way to talk about somebody you begged to stay the night with you?"

She turned her scowl to Randy.

"I don't beg."

"Oh, but you do," Randy grinned. "Very beautifully, too."

Stupid butterflies in her stomach. Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

"I remember asking you to leave."

"That was before you finished that nasty whiskey," Randy said. "Now, come on. The food's getting cold."

She watched Randy's huge frame stroll over to the table, taking a moment to drool over him when his back was turned. Even now she could remember just how hard and satisfying his naked body had felt against hers. And thinking of that also brought forward all the longing for things she could never have. She forced her eyes away from him to look at Jeff again. He was watching her. He'd been watching her a lot lately.

He looked at Randy and then back at her. His teeth were worrying his bottom lip, something he did when he was trying to make a decision. Usually it was a decision he didn't like. She wasn't sure if he was aware he did that.

"I was thinking," Jeff said finally. "We should drive to Ottawa this morning. With Randy."

"Why?" she frowned.

She ignored the 'with Randy,' part. What she wanted was to get out of Illinois all together, but Ottawa was good enough. Jeff had media all day, though. They weren't supposed to drive to Ottawa until tomorrow afternoon. So why was he suggesting it? What was he up to?

"I'm tired. Things have been a bit tough lately," he shrugged. "I'm going to ask Hunter if I can skip all my commitments today."

"Why don't you ask if you can take the next few days off and take her home instead? You can chill out all weekend and be back for Tuesday's taping."

She turned to Randy and glared. The last place she wanted to be was home. Shane would be down there as soon as he heard what she had done, not to mention Linda and Vince. If Jeff was there, too, then it would only be a matter of minutes before her found out the truth.

"That's a good idea," Jeff said.

"That's a stupid idea. I'm not going home. Besides, I don't think Hunter will give you time off just like that. You're the current face of the WWE!"

"I'll talk to him," Jeff said. "I just need a little bit more time to get my head straight."

With everything going on she hadn't even asked him how he was dealing with breaking up with Angie for good. She hadn't even asked if he had confessed about their night together. Incredible as it had been, it was shaping up to be one of the biggest mistakes of her life - and she'd made plenty of mistakes.

It was ironic, really. The last thing she had ever thought she would do was to sleep with a man to make herself feel better. She was more messed up than she'd realised. She'd used him. She'd used him shamelessly, and for that she owed him.

"I'll talk to him," she sighed. "But we're going to Ottawa, not home."

Jeff smiled and gestured to the table. Randy had already poured some coffee, which was the only thing she could stomach right now.

"Help me with this, first."

She handed him the bandage. A look crossed his eyes that she couldn't figure out. If Randy hadn't been here he would have already started his interrogation.

She didn't wait for an answer as she walked to sit on the edge of her bed. Jeff needed to do this before Hunter came, because the last thing she wanted was for Hunter to see just how bad her bruises were. She held her breath and lifted the top slowly because her knotted up and bruised muscles wouldn't let her go faster than that. When finally managed to fold her tee over her chest, she released her breath and looked up at Jeff.

The bandage had fallen from his fingers and his gaze was fixed on her body. For a moment she saw his pain but it was replaced quickly by a tangible anger. His fists balled up at his sides. She had never seen him this angry before, even the times he'd wanted to kill Randy. Randy…

She looked towards Randy. He had his eyes on her bruises as well, and it didn't take long for her to feel his anger from across the room like she had last night. His baby blues turned stormy and a muscle in his jaw jumped. He stood so perfectly still at the other end of the room that she was reminded of the predator everyone claimed him to be. One wrong move and he would strike. And now wasn't the time to make any wrong moves. As long as she stayed focussed she wouldn't reveal that dick was somewhere close. If she did, Hunter and Shawn would find him and kill him without a second thought.

Asking Jeff to do this had been a bad idea. She had that EMT's number, she should have called her.

"Do it, Jeff," she said urgently.

"Tell me who did this," he demanded.

"Forget about last night. It doesn't matter who did this," she said. "Wrap me up, please."

She saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

"Do it, Nero," she said.

"They are not going to get away with this," Jeff whispered.

It was like her words hadn't even penetrated his angry haze.

"No, they're not," Randy growled.

Her head snapped in Randy's direction when he started moving towards the door, quickly but silently like the Viper he was.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! The fuck are you doing?" she asked.

She gripped the bed on either side of her, ready to forget her pain and go after Randy if she had to.

"What I should have done last night," Randy answered.

"If you leave this room and do something stupid I'll never forgive you and I'll never speak to you again," she threatened.

If she was to believe any of his talk the past few weeks then he wouldn't want that.

"Have you looked in the mirror this morning?" Randy asked, turning around to face her. "Those women did this deliberately. I'm not going to just sit by and let them think they can do shit like this."

She huffed and met his eyes. He was genuinely upset for her. That shouldn't have made her happy but it did. But now wasn't the time to think about that. She had a potential disaster on her hands

"Okay, both of you listen very carefully," she started. "I get it. You both care about me, so thank you. You'll probably never understand just how much that means to me... But I'm telling you – not asking - to back the fuck off. I don't need this right now."

"Kitty_"

"I mean it, Jeff," she cut in, looking at him again. "I don't need anybody to play my hero; if I need to, I can take care of myself."

"I know you can," Jeff said. "But you don't always have to. Somebody hurt you, Kitty Kat. Do you understand how that makes me feel?"

Part of her wondered if what he felt had anything to do with the night they had spent together but she dismissed that. Jeff had been protective of her from the beginning. He wasn't going to let one stupid night cloud his judgement.

And she didn't really want to think about that night right now, anyway. She'd tried not to think about it at all since it happened.

"I do," she answered. "But if you start something I swear I'm going to get as far away from you and all this bullshit as I can. Do you understand?"

She looked into Jeff's eyes for what felt like forever until he finally let out a breath and nodded his head.

"Randy?"

It was harder to look into the baby blues. He was still angry and she got the feeling that he would do whatever he had to do to protect her, no matter what she said. If she had been actively pursuing a relationship, knowing this would have made her all kinds of giddy. But as it was...

"They're not going to stop," Randy said. "Maria said a lot of shit about you, all this bullshit is going to keep happening until I put an end to it."

"I'll put an end to it myself. So either somebody's putting that damn bandage back on me so we can have breakfast before we check out or I'm on the next plane out of here."

Randy closed his eyes and rubbed his face.

"You're the most stubborn, infuriating_" he started.

"So I've been told. Now are we eating breakfast or not?" she cut in.

"Fine," he growled.

She didn't take her eyes off him until he sat back down. With a little breath of relief she met Jeff's eyes again.

"I know I fucked up," she admitted. "But I'm in a lot of pain right now. I don't... I can't... We'll talk another time, okay?"

Jeff nodded and picked the bandage up. His hands were shaking when he started wrapping her back up but he didn't stop. Like last night when the EMT had done it, it hurt like a bitch. She bit on her jaw and tried to find something else to focus on. She had learned to do that a lifetime ago, but back then she'd always had drugs in her system to numb the pain too. Now the alcohol was wearing off but there was no way she was going to take painkillers. It would be too easy to pop all of them down, too easy to move on to other pills, other drugs.

Thankfully she met The Viper's gaze. He'd always been able to make her forget herself; it was no different this time. Warmth spread through her body at the intensity of his gaze; like he was starving and she was the last slice of bread in the world. She felt her face flush, but still the intense gaze didn't waver. Her eyes fell to his lips. The burning need to kiss him was always present but in this moment it was magnified. Randy had perfect lips. Killer lips. It was true, their relationship had consisted of mostly hot, sweaty, sometimes rough moments but when he'd kissed her… She met his eyes again. Fire. Need. Promise… How could he still look at her like that with all the bruises she had?

Her lips parted. To tell him to stop? To tell him to never stop? She wasn't sure anymore.

Jeff finished wrapping her up and broke the spell. Then she sighed in satisfaction because the support bandage took some of the pressure and pain off her ribs. Jeff pulled her back into him and gently put his arms around her and his head on hers.

She felt safe again. In this room, with these two men, she felt safe.

"Come on," Jeff said finally as he dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "Let's get you comfortable so you can eat."

* * *

Surprisingly, Hunter was all for letting Jeff go with her to Ottawa. Or perhaps it wasn't so surprising, since he had been against her coming to Chicago in the first place. He was that eager to get her out of there that he didn't even object when she asked Jeff to pack a bottle of whiskey for the drive. What wasn't at all surprising was that they all felt the need to escort her and her two travelling buddies to their waiting car like they were her delegated bodyguards. She had expected that but she still wasn't happy about it.

She scowled up at Matt as the elevator started moving. He and Shane had come just after Hunter and Shawn to 'help her pack'.

"What?" he asked.

"Didn't you have anything better to do?"

"I had to come, just in case you put on another little show," Matt smirked. "I don't intend to miss the next one."

"My life was a lot simpler before your company was forced on me," she muttered.

"See, that's the thing about life," he said, the smirk leaving his face. "You never get exactly what you ask for."

Or you got nothing at all. She sighed and leaned her weight against Hunter, taking comfort in warmth and the arm he had around her.

"So you've made the reservations already?" Hunter asked.

"There wasn't a room available. They can have my room until they move to theirs tomorrow," Randy answered for her.

"Ooh. Another slumber party," Shawn grinned.

"Stop it!" she snapped. "It wasn't a slumber party."

"Actually, it was. Just a little bit," Jeff said grinned.

Her scowl deepened when she saw even Randy grinning to that.

"Don't encourage him! Shawn will never stop."

Shawn had been teasing the three of them all morning. God only knew what people outside her little circle would say if they overheard him.

"I'm going to crash with John," Randy explained, and then added, "We're going to arrange another slumber party for some other time."

She rolled her eyes and decided to ignore all of them.

The elevator stopped in the lobby and she sensed tensions rise a little bit. They were obviously expecting trouble.

The door opened to a busy lobby, and when Jeff and Randy scanned the area first before moving forward, she knew she was right. Surely those women weren't planning on attacking her? They had already had their pound of flesh, the fuck would they want to do it again?

It didn't matter, though. With the men surrounding her she could hardly see anyone, and that was a good thing. Because it had occurred to her while they had been packing that if that man had been backstage he was possibly a friend or family of someone on the Smackdown Roster or Tech crew. Maybe he had been there for just one show and her little world was safe once more.

Or maybe he was travelling with them for a while.

She had not time to dwell on it as Hunter instructed her to keep her head down because there were fans taking pictures just outside. They were the reason she was wearing the large sunglasses as well as her hood. Hunter didn't want any speculation about her face travelling the world over through the internet. Apparently she had already caused a stir when she had attacked Matt some weeks ago.

Finally she was bundled into a big car with quick kisses on her cheeks from Hunter and Shawn. It was only when she saw Randy getting into the passenger side that she saw that John was driving.

And just like that her safe bubble popped.

She slipped the sun glasses off her face just to make sure she wasn't seeing things. But it was true. She was to spend the next couple of hours in John's company. She felt too raw for that. Too… vulnerable.

"Hi," John said.

She'd been staring. She looked away and mumbled a reply, hoping nobody had noticed.

"You don't mind, do you?" Randy asked. "John was here for some media and meetings yesterday so he had a room booked. I asked if we could catch a ride with him because we were up all night and you're in no state to drive either."

"Of course I don't mind," she lied. "What better person to see us safely where we're going than Superman, right?"

She met Jeff's eyes and for a moment she thought he knew. But that was impossible.

"Pass me the drink, will you?" she asked.

Jeff didn't argue. She took it from him and then stretched out fully on the seat she had to herself before taking a sip straight from the bottle. If she passed out then she wouldn't make a fool of herself.

* * *

George watched the entourage make their way out of the hotel and smiled. Little Gracie... He's missed her. It was like a physical pain. Some nights other whores took the edge off but they would never replace his Grace.

"Can I help you, sir?"

He turned to smile at the woman behind the desk.

"Yes, I'd like to rent a car, please. A family car because I'm driving my niece and her friends to Ottawa."

"One moment, please," the woman said.

* * *

Randy looked back at Katrina's sleeping form and then at Jeff. They had agreed while she was in the bathroom that it was for the best if they took her away from Maria and her friends for a few days until tensions died down a little. But maybe they should have waited until they had rested so they could drive her themselves.  
He hadn't missed the way she had tensed up when she had seen John. It was yesterday all over again. And judging by the frown on Hardy's face as he watched her, too, he hadn't missed it either.

"You're going to tell me, Hardy. Even if I have to beat it out of you."

Jeff looked at him and smirked. He wanted to punch that smirk right off his face.

"I dare you," he said.

"Look at her! You know why she's like that but you're doing nothing."

"I'm doing the best I can!" Jeff said.

"Yeah," he snorted. "Like I said; you're doing nothing."

"There's nothing I _can_ do. Not until she lets me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"It means you'll shut the hell up about this."

"She was scared of John. You saw that, I know you did. And she was scared of me too, last night. So either you tell me or I'll assume a lot of things," he said.

It was that damned book again, still running through his head.

"Go ahead and assume all you want. The fuck can you do about it, anyway?"

If she was raped? His blood boiled just thinking about it.

"I'd kill him."

Jeff's gaze didn't waver. He had to wonder if he was on the right track. Had she been scared of them because she was raped? Why was she being like this now, when they had been intimate for months? Had it happened only recently?

"Remember that night a bunch of us went clubbing? When she asked Adam and I to bring some friends and she brought a few of hers?" John asked quietly from the driver's seat.

How could he forget? It was the night he had admitted it was fun to spend time with her outside the bedroom. It was also the night she had tried to make him jealous by dancing with all the guys, except it had been obvious she hadn't enjoyed that at all.

She hadn't enjoyed it.

She'd been scared.

Even then she'd been scared.

He turned to look at Jeff again and saw he had his head in his hands.

"You've got to tell me," he said. "Last night... she had a bad dream and... you need to tell me, Jeff."

Jeff looked up, a look on his face that he had never seen on him before.

"That night I was too stupid to see…" Jeff started, but his voice trailed off and he looked out at the scenery going past his window. "_If_ there is anything to tell, you need to hear it from her."

Meaning there was something to tell but he couldn't tell him. Meaning he was probably on the right track, or Jeff would have denied it. He looked at Katrina again, fast asleep with Jeff's top as a makeshift pillow, and remembered her fear when she'd had the nightmare. Now he was inclined to think it hadn't been a nightmare but a memory.

"She'll never tell me. I don't think she'll ever trust me enough to."

A painful admission, but it seemed likely after the day they'd had yesterday.

"I think she will," John said.

He turned back in his seat to look at his friend questioningly.

"She's in love with you," John shrugged.

He smirked.

"You realise her boyfriend is sitting right behind you, don't you?"

John grinned.

"Sorry Jeff," though he didn't seem apologetic at all.

"Don't worry about it," Jeff said. "He's got my permission to hit on her until he gets it out of his system."

"You'll be waiting a long time for that to happen," he snorted.

"Take my advice though," Jeff said. "Don't push this."

His eyes narrowed on Hardy as he looked down at Katrina again. Don't push this? If what he was thinking was true he would push this until he got a name. Then he would kill that bastard like he had already threatened to do.

He looked at Katrina like Jeff was doing. If she had been raped… If a man hurt her… scarred her for life… How would he handle that?

* * *

Katrina barely made it to the toilet to lose the contents of her stomach. The muscle contractions caused crippling pain, and that mixed with the alcohol and the massive headache made her nauseous again. She shouldn't have drunk so much. Gingerly, she sunk to the cold tiles, ignoring the thought of all the nastiness on the floor of the hotel bathroom.

"Kitty?"

She didn't have it in her to call out that she was okay. The last thing she wanted was for Jeff to see her like this.

"Baby? I'm coming in."

Her eyes closed as she tried to calm her stomach. Every breath she took was painful. She'd felt better than this earlier.

She felt the cool air as the door opened.

"Katrina!"

He was by her side in an instant, taking her hand. She didn't need to see his eyes to see when exactly he went from concerned to angry again. It was going to take a while to convince him not to storm out to defend her.

"I'm taking you to the hospital," he declared. "The trainer should have taken you there last night, you look terrible, Kitty."

"I'm fine," she said. "I probably shouldn't have had all that whiskey. I just need to lie down for a little while. Leave me here."

"It's freezing on the floor. I'm going to take you to your bed."

"No. Don't move me," she said.

She could feel the goose bumps all over her body from the cold seeping through her clothes and her teeth were starting to clatter. But the thought of moving a single muscle was making her want to throw up again, even if the alternative was lying on the floor of a semi public toilet.

"I'm not going to have you catch a cold on top of all this. I'll put you on the bed and call a doctor_"

"I'm not moving. And I don't need a doctor."

"Kitty_"

"Bring me a blanket. I think my tits are frozen."

Jeff met her gaze. For a moment she thought he was going to listen to her but he let go of her hand and put his arms under her instead

"No," she whined. "It hurts. Don't move me."

But he didn't listen to her. His face was serious as he gently lifted her off the floor and in a matter of seconds she was on Randy's bed. Thankfully he hadn't slept on it yet, or the scent of him would have driven her crazy.

"Thank you," she said grudgingly.

Randy brought a glass of water in and handed it to Jeff. He looked at her briefly before leaving the bedroom but she didn't miss the look he threw Jeff. In that moment she regretted pretending that her relationship with Jeff was more than it was.

"You don't need to do that," she said when Jeff picked up a towel to wipe her brow.

A brief image of their night together flashed through her mind but she pushed it right to the back again. There was nothing sexual about this situation.

"I do," Jeff said.

"No."

She had to insist on that. Their eyes met for a moment until Jeff looked away. He understood. That night had changed things, even though they had agreed they wouldn't let it. But there was nothing they could do about that now.

He pulled the blankets over her body and left the glass of water within her reach.

"No painkillers at all?" he asked.

"No."

"So what should I do?" he asked.

"Some whiskey would be nice."

"No," Jeff said firmly and then left the room.

The alcohol was making her ill, anyway. She had to find alternative pain relief.

* * *

Randy had booked a suite to himself for the first time in a while. He'd been looking forward to some peace and quiet, with no Maria or her half-wit friends gossiping about rubbish. He'd also been looking forward to inviting Katrina here for a quiet drink or something so they could continue getting to know each other. He'd even imagined sharing a meal with her as a fire burned in the fireplace that stood as the main feature of the sitting room.

What he hadn't imagined was Katrina being carried to the bedroom because she was too drunk to be of any use. And he hadn't imagined intentionally giving up his double bed to the love birds so he could crash on John's couch.

"Do you need anything?" he asked when Hardy walked out to the balcony.

It was weird asking that. A few days ago he would have gladly killed and buried this man in an unmarked grave.

"No. We're good, thanks," Jeff answered with his hands in his pockets.

Then there was silence. Now was probably a good time to go, but he didn't want to leave. He had a feeling that if he did, he wouldn't ever get as close to Kat again as he had been since last night.

"We've got to do something," Jeff said, taking a box of cigarettes from his pocket.

"Those women aren't getting away with this. Trust me," Randy said.

"She's black and blue. She's... How could they do that to her?"

"It's my fault. If I'd been honest from the beginning Maria would never have done this to her."

Jeff shook his head.

"It has nothing to do with you.

His eyes narrowed on the Enigma.

"Of course it does. Maria's crazy. I saw it when I broke up with her. I should have expected this."

"It has nothing to do with you," Jeff repeated. "Kat's in a bad place. Maria was just... I don't know. She was at the right place at the right time, I guess."

"Are you going to explain?"

"No."

It was infuriating to be out of the loop when he wanted to know if he had come to the right conclusion. His mind played over her nightmare last night and all the little things that he was suddenly remembering that were beginning to add up to a disturbing picture. He grew cold again.

"So what are we going to do?" Jeff asked.

He pulled his mind back to the situation at hand.

"I don't know. I'd talk to Maria but I'm afraid it would turn very ugly very quickly. They are already calling me a woman beater; I don't want Kat to hear any of that."

"Dude, nobody believes that crap."

"You should have seen the looks I got when I came backstage yesterday," he said.

"Okay, maybe I should have said nobody with a brain would believe that crap."

"Not even you?"

"Don't get me wrong, I never approved of some of the shit you two did. I saw her bruises, and if I was in the middle of a painting all your marks would ruin all my hard work. But if I'd believed for one second that you were actually hurting her, I'd never have let you touch a single hair on her body. And if Hunter or Shawn believed any of that shit, they wouldn't have sent you to her last night."

Though he didn't really give a shit if anybody other than Kat believed that crap it was kind of… touching maybe? Yeah. He was touched in places no one but his family normally touched. Maybe he was getting too soft. Maybe that was another side effect of love. It turned you into a giant marshmallow. The jury was still out on whether that was a good thing or not.

"Thanks," he said gruffly.

Another awkward silence started. Again he thought he should probably go.

"Don't you need to get some sleep or something?" Jeff asked after a while.

"I don't want to leave her like this," he admitted.

"She's going to be like this for a while," Jeff said. "You need to get some sleep, you have a show tonight."

"Now look who thinks he can tell me what to do just because we spent a little time together."

He wasn't sure, but he thought Hardy almost smiled.

"Go get some sleep, Randall. If it makes you feel better, I will call you when she wakes up."

He ignored the use of his full name. That wasn't the issue now.

"Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'?"

"You're being nice to me."

A strange little smile appeared on Jeff's lips.

"I'll see you later, Randy," Jeff said as he put his smoke out. "If you spend any more time with me people might start to think we're friends."

As if. He chuckled as he turned to walk back into the suite.

"Don't forget to call me."

Before he got to the door there was a loud knock. It sounded urgent. Could it be that one of the Divas knew they had brought her here? Had they come to cause trouble?

Jeff had a frown on his face, like he had the same thought.

"Randy, open up. It's Stephanie."

"Oooh," Jeff said with a smile on his face as he moved to the door. "I think some little skanks are 'bout to get what's coming to them."

"You think Kat will let her deal with them?"

"If there is one person who can't be wrapped around Kat's little finger like the rest of us, it's this woman here. She'll get them no matter what Kitty Kat says."

The second the door opened Steph rushed in.

"Where is she?" she asked without even a hello.

He had been involved in many work related things with Steph. It was always a pleasure. For one thing, she kicked ass. For another, she was one of the few people he knew who had the same drive as he did, who didn't stop until something was done to their exact standards. She was just like her husband in that aspect.

So it was satisfying to see that same determination she applied to her work on her face now.

"Bedroom," Jeff answered.

"Both of you stay here. We have a lot to talk about," she said as she marched to the room in question. "Some people need to learn not to mess with my family."

And just like her husband, she liked to play with her food before she ate it.

He smiled. He was taking a front row seat for this one.


	35. Chapter 35

**Silly me. I just realised I'd been sitting on a complete chapter that had this excerpt of Amazing Grace and an explanation of why I changed Katrina's home city from New York to Chicago. See, they've already been to New York and Kitty Kat was perfectly fine. And since George is Maria's uncle - and Maria lives in Ottawa, Illinois - Chicago made better sense for my story.**

**I thought I'd posted it, only realised I hadn't when I re-read the whole thing the other day to get back into their heads. Everything in that chapter is now useless to me, except for this excerpt. Thanks to I am M.J for asking, 'Why Chicago?'**

**Also, I've been writing everyday on 750words dot com for a week or so to try to step up my game. So far I've done a lot more than that everyday, so I had to cut this down from close to 10000 words. And that means the next chapter is coming as soon as I've finished editing and formatting it.**

**Okay, on with the show...**

* * *

_I was eighteen the first time I was hospitalised._

_I know. Eighteen. So many suicide attempts and broken bones under my belt, but Mother had never taken me to a hospital. She relied on the services of scum such as The Butcher._

_I'd known earlier on in my life that my mother didn't love me. I'd lost any hope of that ever happening. But I'll never forget the day she showed me beyond any doubt just how little she thought of me, of my life._

_As I got older I attracted the 'common' pieces of trash instead of the paedophiles. My pimp – because I no longer saw her as my mother – now instructed those who wanted to give it to me rough to avoid my face because she had realised it was bad for business. There was a lot of competition out there, so I had to look good. She got me better work clothes and I had to perfect all my feminine wiles. Hard to do when I was always high._

_So at eighteen I was just a common prostitute. I'd thought of leaving many times, but I'd stop when I thought how unappealing my other options were. I never finished high school; I had no other marketable skills that I knew of besides opening my legs. I was pretty sure I was completely unemployable. See, getting a job, no matter how menial, would have required a certain state of sobriety which I hadn't achieved in years. I wasn't willing to give up the drugs. They're the only things that kept me sane, and I'm using that term loosely. The things that ran through my mind the few times I'd almost come down completely from my high scared the shit out of me. The things I'd gone through would keep running through my head on a loop and I didn't want that. So I stayed high. And I did the only job I thought I could do. I could have left and done it all for myself but it was so much easier working for my pimp._

_Besides, after my baby got ripped from my body, I pretty much stopped giving a fuck one way or another. The way I saw it, everyone died. I figured I could just sit back, crank up my bad habits and just wait for my turn._

_Over the years, I'd had to put up with a lot of shit from everybody. You learn the rules pretty quickly when you make your living on the streets. When I became 'common', my pimp didn't always hustle up the clients for me. I had to do most of it myself and hand over the day's takings once the sun came up. I had strict instructions: money first. I learned this rule the hard way. My first week solo, I took home only a small fraction of what I normally did. Not because I hadn't done the work. Oh, no; I got fucked every-which-way. But most of the men just stuffed their dicks back in their pants and walked away without paying._

_I should have known better, but it was the drugs and the new situation combined that fucked me up. When my pimp didn't give me my cut that whole week I couldn't buy myself a fix, and I swore I wouldn't do that again. Going a day without anything meant I could think somewhat clearly. Going with hardly any for almost a week meant I was aware. And that was the worst punishment I had ever received._

_But this night in particular… While I'd stopped liking or trusting men from the age of nine, this night was the beginning of my mistrust and dislike of humanity as a whole._

_I set out to work just as the sun set over Chicago. I had the right walk, the right body language. The men always seemed to know the signals, even if other people didn't always know what I was. I went to my street, not a particularly popular one because I was younger than some of the women and they had already claimed the best ones. It was very quiet that night. And freezing cold. Winter was here, I could feel the frost all the way up my belt of a skirt, but my pimp didn't give a shit about that. I was an all-weather ho._

_There was a group of young boys - thugs, hooligans, hoodies... whatever you want to call them - that hung out all night further up my street but I had lived among them for so long that I didn't see them as a threat. I should have. They saw my signals and knew what I was. That night they were intent on taking it._

_It was time to go home; I'd just finished a quick blow job and was dying to get warm. About eight of the boys waylaid me. I could smell the alcohol on their breath feet away. And I could see the glint in their eyes that told me that this wasn't going to end well for me._

_"Where are you going, girl?"_

_"I'm not alone," I said quickly._

_Most girls had their pimp close by if there was any trouble. But Mother had stopped doing that the day I came of age._

_The boys laughed, and I should have remembered that this might have been where I worked but they ran these streets. They had probably watched me for a long time._

_"How much did you get tonight?" one of them asked._

_I couldn't let them take Mother's money._

"_Not enough. Please. I'll do anything you want," I offered._

_"You'd blow me for free?" one of them grinned. He was only a boy; probably my age or a little older. He had no business doing this._

_But I'd blow anything as long as I had enough money to forget all about it afterwards. Feeling humiliated about it was not an option. I was what I was. And nothing was ever going to change that._

_They seemed to accept the deal. They watched me get on my knees and blow their friend. Then another came in on the action. Before long I had the little pouch I kept my condoms in on the ground and I was on my back right next to it. I numbed my slowly clearing mind and let them do what they wanted to do. All because I needed the drugs that I would buy with some of the money I had made that night._

_I breathed a sigh of relief when they let me get up but it was short-lived. I never saw that blow to my head coming. I never saw the kicks. But in seconds I was back on the ground, covering my head to protect it. Every punch hurt like fuck. Every kick felt like the last. My back, my stomach, head... Everywhere. They hurt me and called me every filthy name under the sun and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop them._

_Then when one of them started choking the life out of me, I thought I was finally dying. I welcomed it. I might have even thanked him just before everything went black._

_But of course, I didn't die. I'm just lucky like that. I remember occasionally opening my eyes to see I was still in that alley, half-naked on the cold ground. I remember the pure white snow falling on me, turning me into an ice block. I remember seeing people hurry past me because they didn't give a shit if I died. I remember some of them searching me, hoping to take whatever my assailants had left. Did I really mean that little? Was my life not worth saving? Every bone in my body felt broken, I couldn't move or make a sound besides the little whimpers. Surely someone should have felt sorry for me. Somebody should have come forward to help me._

_The worst was when my mother came to find me. I remember thinking that at least I would be saved, because my mother needed me to bring home the money._

_But Mother searched me, too. And when she didn't find anything, she spat on me and walked away._

_She spat on me._

_She left me to die._

_oOo_

Jeff's phone rang and he thankfully closed the book. His eyes went to the closed door of the bedroom, a frown on his face as he digested what he had just learnt. How was he ever going to help Katrina get over this? What was he supposed to do?

The phone stopped and then started again. With a calming breath, he pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID.

Giving Randy his number was the worst idea of the century.

"She's still asleep, Randy," he said when he answered.

"Ok. I just wanted to check before the show starts."

"You checked half an hour ago."

"I know. I'm just worried."

He looked at his watch. Steph would have handed out the letters by now. She and Hunter had decided it was best to follow company procedure first, since Steph hadn't managed to speak to Katrina to find out how it had all started. They knew a disciplinary hearing would make the Divas involved sweat a little, but because Kat wasn't likely to press charges, the most they would get out of that were hefty fines.

They were fine with that. For now. Then when the women got comfortable fire, acid rain and all that nasty shit was going to rain down on them. He could hardly wait. Lately he had started feeling some of that anger he'd had before he had found out Kitty Kat was Grace, instead of just the gut wrenching pain and helplessness. He couldn't make those men pay for what they did to her but these women... Oh, they were going to get it.

"Have you heard anything yet?"

"Everyone's keeping out of my way. News travels fast around these parts."

He snorted. He could only imagine how warped that 'news' had become since yesterday.

"Matt will probably call us if anyone's coming to kick down our door," he said. "I don't think they'll mess with her again, though, since they now know a deranged woman beater's got her back."

Randy chuckled.

"I'll keep my ears open anyway," he said. "And John is trying to find out everything he can. I don't want anybody getting past me again."

Orton the bodyguard. The man had more than proven himself since the Christmas party. It was good. Kitty Kat would be in good hands. He could step aside now. And he would. Soon.

"Which reminds me," Randy continued, "do you have Ziggler's number?"

"Why? Are you scared Kitty is going to invite him to one of our slumber parties?"

"It's me she wants. I have no need to be scared of anything," Randy said.

And there was Orton the arrogant ass.

"I'm hanging up now."

"Wait! I was just joking, I meant no disrespect. Do you have the number or not?"

"I'll text you."

"Thanks. I'm stopping by Maria's to drop her stuff after my match but I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Get a spare key. I'm going to sleep now but I don't want Kitty Kat getting up to get the door."

"You don't mind me just walking in?"

"It's your room."

"Yeah, but... I don't want to walk in on anything."

"The girl can hardly walk. The fuck do you think you'd walk in on?" he grunted. "See you later, Randall."

He hung up and quickly sent Dolph's number before he looked at the bedroom door again. It took him a while to get calm enough to open it. And she was there, right in the middle of the bed, exactly where he'd left her. She was there. She was safe.

* * *

Randy put the last of his gear into the bag and pulled out his phone again. Jeff hadn't called him so he was assuming Kat was still sleeping off all that alcohol.

_Or she's just pretending to sleep so she doesn't talk to any of you weirdoes. It's been a whole day, Randall! She can't have slept this long._

Maybe. But sooner or later she was going to have to face everyone.

On a whim, he sent her a message.

_Can I come see you tonight? I miss you_.

He knew she wouldn't reply but it was worth a shot. Then called the number Jeff had sent to him. Dolph answered after a couple of rings.

"It's Randy."

"Is Katrina okay?"

Funny how that was the first question the guy asked.

"Not really. Can you talk?"

By the time John came to get him he had more questions than answers. He had known she'd been scared last night but hearing Dolph say it... It was almost as if she'd been paralyzed with fear. He, John and the medic had scared her that much or someone else had when she had run out of the room.

Someone else?

The man who'd rapped her?

No, it couldn't have been. The man wouldn't be stupid enough to stick around if he had raped her. Besides, she'd been acting out of character already; he still couldn't get that look on her face as she'd choked out Maria out of his mind. So whatever had spooked her had to have happened before that. What the hell was it?

"You alright?"

He looked up at John as they walked out of the arena to his rental, ignoring the whispers.

"No. Love sucks. Why the fuck did I let this happen?" he grumbled as he threw his bags in.

"Love is a beautiful thing," John said as he got into the passenger seat. "Besides, there's no way you could have stopped it."

He'd just started the car when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

_Get me some ribs_.

"Ah. Now you're smiling. I take it this means you think love sucks a little less?"

He didn't answer John but he felt the smile stretch on his face. Katrina wanted to see him. She wasn't sick of him yet. She was softening towards him. At least, he hoped she was.

He was still smiling when he got to Maria's uptown apartment, even though he knew what was coming. But he wasn't planning on sticking around long enough for this meeting to turn too ugly.

"You ready?" John asked.

He nodded.

"Liar. Just repeat to yourself, 'I must not kill the ho. I must not kill the ho,' and you'll be fine," John grinned.

John picked two of the bags up, leaving him with one bag and the box of books. As he went to pick the box up that damned book peeked at him. The damned book full of rape. On a whim he pulled it out and threw it back into the trunk before picking the box up and following John down the fancy sidewalk that lead to Maria's home. Everything was fancy in this neighbourhood, everything smelled of money. Maria's 'apartment' was actually on two floors of the four-storey building that housed three other similar apartments. Her parents lived not far from here, in a big house complete with hired help. It was exactly the type of place he had wanted his wife to come from, back before Katrina had turned him on his head.

Maria answered the doorbell after a few moments, like she had expected him even though he hadn't told her he was coming. She was perfectly made up as always even with the slight bruises on her face, and not a hair was out of place. The perfect image, yet now he was discovering it was exactly that: just an image. She wasn't the dim-witted and accommodating woman she'd pretended she was.

"Well, hello Randy. How nice to see you again."

She was suspiciously cheerful. He wanted to wipe that smug look from her face but he remembered his promise to Katrina.

"I've brought all your things," he said as he put her stuff at her feet. John put the rest down and stood right next to him, close enough to stop him doing anything stupid. His friend was only there to restrain him if he had to.

"Oh, you shouldn't have bothered. I feel like they're tainted somehow," Maria said. "I don't want to touch anything that woman's touched. You know, in case I catch something."

He bit down on his jaw. He was not playing this game.

"Since you brought them anyway just leave everything out here. I'll throw it all in the trash tomorrow."

"I don't know what I ever saw in you," he said as he turned away from her.

"You saw exactly what you wanted to see," she said. "Oh, by the way; when you're done with that whore make sure you pay her. I heard her going rate in Chicago is forty bucks an hour."

His head snapped back. Nobody was allowed to talk about Katrina like that. She had done nothing wrong. Nothing.

John was in front of him before he could take a step forward, blocking his path, reminding him if what he had to lose if he did anything hasty.

"Let's go," John said firmly.

"Oh, didn't you know?" Maria continued. "Didn't your little girlfriend tell you how she makes her living? I almost feel sorry for you, losing everything you've ever worked for all for nothing."

What was wrong with this woman? She had already said enough to ruin his reputation but now she was spreading this lie too? Hurting Katrina like this even though she had already physically hurt her?

"If I hear any of that shit going around, you'll deal with me," he growled. "Do you understand?"

"I'm sure anyone who doesn't know can guess," Maria laughed. "How many of you guys has she been through the past few months? It's quite obvious what she is."

"Let's go," John repeated.

"I'm warning you."

"The girl spreads her legs to support her drug habit. If you don't believe me, ask her."

Then Maria laughed as she slammed her door in his face.

Prostitute? That couldn't be right. Katrina would never have... Could she?

No. She would never.

But how had Maria known about her drug habit?

"Don't believe any of that," John said. "You know what Maria is trying to do."

Yeah, but what if she was telling the truth?

"I need to get some ribs," he muttered.

He pushed past John and started walking down the hallway to the elevators. The sooner he got those ribs the sooner he could ask her about this.

Was he really in love with a prostitute?

* * *

**For some reason I had trouble uploading my documents. Hope this issue is sorted now. And I hope you enjoyed the chapter. More really soon.**

**Baybie.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Short and sweet. And fast. Or rather, faster than normal. I wanted to post this last right after the other one but I gave up after a few tries when FF wouldn't let me upload or even copy and paste. But I think updating twice in the space of 24hrs is still some sort of record for me. And maybe by tonight I would have edited and formatted the next one, too. Fingers crossed.**

**Thank you _tophersmommy06, Enigmatic Lotus Leaf, ILoveAnime89, Bingobaby, xSamiliciousx_ and _I am M.J_ for your reviews of the last chapter and to everyone for reading/following. **

* * *

Randy's head was all over the place when he let himself into the hotel room. It was quiet. Even though Jeff had told him he could walk right in he could still hear Kat's screams from the last time he'd walked to her door uninvited. Not something he wanted to repeat anytime soon.

The balcony door was closed but the curtains were wide open. The light from the room shone through outside so he could see Katrina on one of the chairs, bundled up in a blanket and looking out at the city. He put the bags of food down on the table and slowly made his way out to her.

What would he say? How would he bring the subject up? He couldn't stand the thought that she had let strangers touch her like that, put their filthy dicks in the place he'd found such a beautiful connection. But maybe it wasn't true. Maybe he was killing himself over this for nothing.

She didn't even hear him when he opened the door and leaned against the frame. She seemed so far away, lost in a place he knew she didn't want to let him in. Was she thinking of her assailant? Was she thinking if the life Maria had claimed she led? Maybe that was how she had been raped in the first place.

He shook the thoughts out of his head and walked out to take the seat next to her.

"It's going to snow. You'll catch your death of cold out here."

She looked up at him and gave him a little smile. And just like that everything was right again. It didn't matter what anybody said, not right now; not when that beautiful smile was directed at him.

"I'm glad you're here."

Four little words. Yet they were probably the most beautiful words he'd heard in a long time.

"Where else would I be?" he smiled.

He pulled his coat collar higher and stuffed his hands in the pockets.

"How long have you been out here?"

Katrina shrugged under her blanket and looked out at the city again.

"Come in and have some food. I'll make you a hot drink."

"Okay."

He wasn't going to question why she was suddenly okay with him being here but he had a feeling the moment he tried to make her talk she'd kick him out.

Katrina put the blanket aside and slowly stood up. She was wearing a thick, winter coat, her usual sweats and thick socks. Her face didn't look as swollen as it had in the morning but his anger welled up again when she winced and sat back down. Without asking, he put his arm under her and the other round her back and picked her up. She was warm and smelled flowery, as if she'd had a shower before she'd come out here. His body hardened. He forgot his thoughts of avenging her. If she wasn't hurt he would have carried her to the couch and done what he'd been dying to do since she left him.

The woman had him all twisted. Confused. He still wanted her. God, how he wanted her! But he had so many questions. And all these feelings were crashing into him faster than he could process them. The ever present longing for her, for a future with her. The anger everytime he thought of somebody violating her. The dread of what he would discover if he kept digging. The protectiveness. And now the thought of her selling herself to men. It was too much to deal with at the same time, but he knew time was something he didn't really have. No matter what he was going through, he couldn't back away from her now. If he did then she'd sink deeper into Hardy's clutches.

"I can walk," Katrina snapped. "Put me down."

"Oh, sure. I'll put you down and you can tell me what the hell is going on with you."

As he had known her lips clamped up. He met the silvery grey eyes, willing her to talk, to trust him so they could move forward. But he knew how hard that was, so he wasn't going to push her. Well, not too much, anyway.

"You're safe with me. You can tell me anything," he urged gently.

But her lips remained sealed. Accepting defeat, he carried her in and set her on the couch. He helped her with her coat, ignoring the fact that she was wearing a Jeff Hardy t-shirt, and then he put some food on a plate for her. It didn't take long to get the coffee machine going.

"Want to watch a movie or something?"

"Yeah, but with the volume low. I don't want to wake Jeff. He hasn't been sleeping well since Angie..."

Since Angie what? Since she left him? How could he be pining for Angie when he had Katrina in his bed every night? Or maybe the better question was: why was Katrina okay with that? Was it because she was used to being treated like nothing?

He thought about it as he took his jacket off and put a movie on. What Jeff was doing was exactly what he had done; only he had been pining for Katrina. She didn't deserve to go through that a second time, no matter what she had done with her life before him.

"You don't have to settle for second best," he said as he turned back to her. "I know that's how it was before, but I promise you: if you give me a chance I'll always put you first."

"Until a more suitable girlfriend comes along? Thanks but no thanks," Katrina said between mouthfuls of her food.

"I don't care about any of that shit anymore. The fact is even when I was with Maria, you were my number one."

"Don't start that again. Not right now."

"I just need you to know. I've never been in this situation before. Everything's uncertain. I've always had everything mapped out; I've always known where I was going but now... I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

He sat down in the chair opposite hers and met her gaze.

"You've turned my whole world upside down, Katrina. I tried to fight it but I never really stood a chance. I don't want anybody else."

Even if she had been a prostitute before they'd met. He would just have to deal with that because letting her go wasn't an option.

"I can't be with you, Randy," she said.

But the look in her eyes... She did want to be with him, but she was holding back. He could feel it. Maybe it was because of her past occupation. But didn't she see? They could deal with all of that. Together. They could talk about it, fix it and move on; take each day as it came until the past was truly in the past. Unless this wasn't about that at all.

Was it Jeff? Was she holding back because she had fallen in love with him? He frowned. For some reason he felt like dealing with that would be a lot more painful than dealing with her prostitution.

"Are you in love with Jeff?"

Kay sat back in her seat, still holding his gaze. He didn't know what he would do if she was in love with another man. Would he walk away and let her be happy? Or would he still persuade her that he was better for her and learn to live with being her second best?

"I love him," she said deliberately.

He didn't miss the emphasis. She loved Jeff. But she wasn't in love with him. He couldn't stop the smile that formed on his lips. Everything would be fine.

"Okay," he said.

He leaned back in his seat, too, and folded his arms across his chest. She'd told him many times that Jeff was just her best friend. Maybe they were friends with benefits. Maybe that was why Katrina could still be with him even though he was heartbroken over Angie.

"I can tell Angie the truth," he offered.

"It's too late for that."

"I'd like to believe it's never too late," he said.

"Some relationships are doomed from the beginning."

He knew she was referring to theirs as well.

"True. But I believe in new beginnings, too. Otherwise I'd have nothing to live for right now."

"There's no such thing as a new beginning. All the crap from before always trickles back in through the cracks. Always. And everything gets tainted. Infected. You can cut it all out but the wounds remain until they get infected again. It's a vicious cycle."

Her eyes... They were full of all the pain he had seen last night. Maria's words came back to haunt him, tainting his brief joy of discovering her true feelings for Jeff.

He needed to know.

Ignoring the look of alarm on her face, he quickly knelt in front of her and took her hands in his.

"I know something's going on with you. I know something has you running scared. Tell me. Tell me so I can fix it."

Katrina was looking down at their joined hands but he didn't let her go. He laced their fingers together and brought her hands to his lips. She didn't even try to pull away.

"Trust me, Kat. Please. I will never think any less of you; I will never turn my back on you. Who hurt you? What are you running from?"

"I don't know where you'd get that idea."

But she didn't meet his eyes.

"You _can _trust me. I'm not going anywhere, even if you decide we're better off as just friends. I just want to see you smiling again. I want to see you happy."

Then she finally looked into his eyes again and he almost got knocked over by the force of her pain. This was the woman who hid behind the tough exterior he had been attracted to in the beginning. But for some reason, this was the woman he wanted more; the one who could feel so much.

"I don't think I can be happy," she whispered.

"I can make you happy," he whispered fervently. "If you give me a chance I promise I'll dedicate my every waking moment to making sure you're happy. I'm in love with you Katrina."

There. He'd said it. He'd never felt so exposed in his life. His whole life depended in the next words that would come out of her mouth, and he'd never been more terrified. Even all the shit his father had put him through paled in comparison.

He saw the surprise in her eyes, saw her bruised lips part, heard her breath catch. He saw the pain disappear and her eyes shine with something he had never seen before, something so intense he felt it heat up his blood, something he wanted to feel for the rest of his life.

But then her face closed off. He felt her mentally withdraw from him. And he knew he had fucked up.

He'd played all his cards, laid it all out on the table, something he'd never done before. He'd got this far in life by always holding most of his cards as close to his chest as possible, always thinking five moves ahead. And in this situation, knowing she was going through something and would probably shoot him down, he should have waited a while longer.

"Don't say anything," he said. "Please... Don't say anything."

He kissed her fingers again, lingering because he knew he'd somehow lost whatever ground he'd gained before. She was still detached, watching him but still not a part of the scene.

He didn't want that. He didn't want to be pushed away.

So he leaned forward, catching her lips before she could move back.

They were as soft as he remembered. And as addictive. Mindful of the cuts on them, he trailed his tongue along the full contours. She wasn't responding but at least she hadn't pushed him away. That had to mean something.

He didn't stop. He didn't want to stop. Their hands were still joined between them but it was better that way. If he let them roam free, if he touched her the way he wanted then he wouldn't stop there.

Then her lips parted and he was lost. Free. He invaded her mouth, tasted her greedily, unable to control himself. Her heat filled him, stirred his blood until he was like a volcano ready to erupt. Then she started kissing him back. Dear God, he'd missed this! Her tongue stroked him, igniting his blood, making all the promises that it used to make before. He had never been able to work out how a simple kiss could make him lose his mind like this, so he'd never kissed her as often as he wanted. But he had nothing holding him back now. He wanted this kiss forever. She made the little sounds that he loved so much and they mingled with his groans. Then she let go if his hands to put hers behind his head, drawing her closer to the heat he had missed so much.

A low, guttural moan came from within him as he lost the little bit of control he had on himself. It was always like this. She had owned him from the moment she had kissed him like this the first time. He gripped her hips and pulled himself even closer, straining against his jeans as he pushed between her legs. And the legs wrapped around his waist like they'd always done. She was relentless; overloading his senses, drowning him in need.

When he couldn't take anymore of her torture he put his arms around her, intent on pulling her down to the floor and satisfying them both.

But a small cry if pain infiltrated his lust filled head and he paused, remembering.

"I'm sorry," he said breathlessly, detangling himself. "I'm so sorry."

He hadn't meant to get carried away. He should have remembered that he always did.

Her eyes were burning him, her breath coming just as fast as his. And her lips were slightly more bruised than they had been before he'd kissed her.

"I'm okay," she said.

And she was looking at him like she wanted him to kiss her again. He drowned in those stormy pools as he always did, lost again to the needs crashing into his body. But he had to look away and compose himself. This wasn't about getting her back into his bed. It was about claiming her heart. Like she had claimed his.

"When you're ready to hear them, I'll say those words again," he promised. "I'll make you mine and spend the rest of my life with you."

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight, Katrina. I'll see you in the morning."

It was only as he was grabbing his coat that he remembered Jeff, and only because the bedroom door opened and the man paused, framed in the shadows.

He stopped, meeting Jeff's eyes. He was angry, that much was obvious. Hardy's eyes blazed, a muscle jumped in the set jaw. Obviously he was aware of what had happened, and an explosion of some sort was imminent. Even if permission had jokingly been granted.

But Jeff stepped back into the bedroom and silently closed the door.

He looked back at Katrina for a moment and then back at the closed door. Something was off with these two. If Jeff was indeed still in love with Angie, then yeah, he would have just let that go. But he wouldn't have looked at him like he wanted to kill him, either. Katrina obviously had that wrong. Another mystery added to the growing pile.

But that was for another time. When he was away from the sweet temptation. When he could think clearly.


	37. Chapter 37

**I missed some typos when I was editing the last one, possibly the one before that. I typed most of it on my phone, and autocorrect is a bitch.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. Love you guys. **

* * *

Kat had been in a daze since Randy had left last night. Had that really happened? Was he really in love with her? And the kiss... God, the kiss! If he hadn't stopped she would have ripped his clothes off and rode him right there on the floor. He'd said all the things she'd never thought she'd hear, all the things she'd longed to hear.

Only it hadn't made any damn difference. She still couldn't have him. No matter how good he'd felt and how all the shit running through her mind seemed to have disappeared for those few moments.

She was just going to avoid him. He was too much to handle on top of everything else.

"Are you alright?"

She stopped messing with her beanie hat to look at Jeff. He'd seen Randy kiss her but he hadn't said anything. He should have been running his hands together in glee it something, since his master plan seemed to be coming together against her will.

"I'm fine."

"Is the pain any better?"

"Tolerable."

Her face looked a bit better too, which she was thankful for. She had covered the bruises up with makeup so they didn't look as bad as they really were. She was meeting Steph downstairs for breakfast at the meddling woman's insistence so she had to be as normal as possible. Steph was a little... volatile when it came to her family, sometimes even more than Hunter and Shane. She should have remembered that before she'd started the fight.

"Want me to tell her you're too tired?"

"No. She'd only come here. I'd rather do this in a public place so she doesn't blow up on me."

"You know she's going to blow up anyway, don't you?"

" Yeah."

There was no denying that. The only question was how big the explosion was going to be. If she reasoned with her maybe not too many people would get caught in the crossfire and she could still contain it.

"I'm still waiting for you to trust me enough to tell me what happened."

"You know it's not a matter of trust. I tell you everything."

" Really? 'Cause it doesn't feel that way to me."

"You knew that fight was going to happen sooner it later."

Jeff sighed and looked down at his watch. She knew he suspected something else was going on, but there was no way in hell she was going to tell him what it was.

"It's time," he said as he stood up.

She put her hat on and allowed him to help her to her feet. Jeff was going to have breakfast with Matt and Shane, she suspected it was only because he wanted to be close enough to encourage Steph's wrath.

"You haven't said a word about Randy," she said once they were waiting for the elevator.

"What's there to say? You wanted him to love you; he does; now you're going to break the poor man's heart. You're going to throw him out with the trash."

"It's not like that," she frowned.

"No? Then why aren't you with him right now, celebrating your love and doing the shit that people do when they fall in love?"

"It's complicated_"

"No it isn't. It's the simplest thing in the world," Jeff said.

She crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Well, I'm sorry my life hasn't been as easy as yours. We can't all have what we want."

Jeff turned abruptly to face her.

"You think my life has been easy?"

"Compared to mine, it's been a fucking walk in the park," she snorted.

"I wouldn't know. You don't tell me anything."

She'd walked into that one.

"And you do? Why do you make it seem as if I need to tell you every detail of my life if I want to be your friend?"

"No, that's not..."

His voice trailed off and he looked away.

"I don't want you to feel like that. What I was trying to say is Randy loves you, and I know how much you love him, too. When you find something like that it's worth holding onto because it's beautiful and it makes everything else in your life beautiful. I would give a limb to have that. Don't throw it away."

Of course. He was heartbroken. This wasn't about her, it was about him. It was insensitive of her to act like this in front of him.

"Hearts heal. You'll find someone else with time," she said as she linked their arms. "In the meantime, you've got me."

He smiled down at her as the elevator doors opened.

"I want you to promise me something," he said.

"What?" She asked cautiously.

"No matter what happens, you and I will always be friends."

She beamed up at him. If they could survive sleeping together they could survive anything. Anything, except Grace.

"Of course."

As soon as they stepped into the restaurant she wished she had asked Steph to their room instead. It seemed everyone had decided to have breakfast downstairs this morning. Had Steph sent out a memo or something?

Voices lowered and the whispers started. She didn't see Maria or any of the Divas she had fought with but a lot of the roster was there. And of course sitting quite close to Steph, Hunter and Shawn were all her newfound friends. She gave a half wave when Matt waved and smiled at her.

"If I fake a seizure will you get me out of here?"

"You're on your own sweetheart," Jeff said as he dropped a kiss on her cheek.

"So much for being best friends."

Jeff grinned and walked her to her table, greeting everyone as he helped her into her seat. Then he joined Matt, Shane and the beautiful John with the gorgeous hair only a couple of tables away.

With a sigh she finally looked at her family.

"Morning people. I'm sorry you all felt the need to gather down here to rehash my little... ah... run-in with a couple of inconsequential people. I'm absolutely fine, so all of this is unnecessary," she smiled. "So I vote we just enjoy a nice breakfast and head our separate ways for the day."

"Really?" Steph asked. "That's what you're opening with?"

The smile dropped.

"It was worth a try," she shrugged. "Can I at least order breakfast first before you shout at me?"

"I'm not going to shout at you," Steph said.

"Hunter came running to you instead of keeping his mouth shut. That means he wants you to shout at me, and he wants you to kill those women," she said, glaring at Hunter.

"They messed with my family. Can't let this one go," Hunter shrugged, stuffing a forkful of his breakfast into his mouth.

"I still say we call Shane down here as well," Shawn said.

"Are you crazy?" she frowned. "He'll kick the shit out of all of them for this."

"No, he wouldn't. He wouldn't hit women."

"Yeah, but are we really sure that all of them are women?" Hunter asked.

And Shawn cocked his head to the side as if he was really considering this.

She rolled her eyes. "Alright, cut this out. Noone's telling Shane anything, and noone is doing anything to Maria and her friends. I started this. It was my fault. So we're letting it go."

"Look at you, honey. Look what they did to you. Even if you started it, they had no right doing this to you. I understand why you did this," Steph said gently, "but I've talked to some people about what's been going on. They're calling you all sorts of names, telling horrendous lies, and the way I hear it, it's far from over. We're _not_letting it go."

"I don't care about what they're saying. I don't care what they do. And I did sleep with Randy, so half of it is probably true. Please let this go. I just want to forget about it."

"I can't do that," Steph said. "You're family, and we watch each other's back."

"But people will ask questions. Things will come out," she pleaded quietly.

"They won't. Don't worry about that, sweetheart," Shawn said. "We respect your decision to separate yourself from... all of that. But we have to make a stand. It's the only way we can make sure you're not targeted again."

She sighed.

"You've already got a plan," she stated.

That didn't surprise her. Her coffee arrived and she took a grateful sip, eying the three people in front of her. This situation was already out of her control, she'd been an idiot to think she could stop the deluge that was coming. And since Shawn was involved, it was probably going to be poetic as well as painful. His sense of humour was a bit more warped than Hunter's.

"It starts tonight," Shawn grinned.

"But first you need to tell me everything," Steph said. "I'm taking down names."

She sighed again. By the time she finished her breakfast Steph had the edited version of the whole story.

"You're like a walking soap opera," Steph said.

"How did all of this happen under our noses?" Hunter frowned.

"Are you saying that freak actually kept kissing you even after I told him not to," Shawn asked.

"Er... I'm gonna go now."

The room quietened down again before she could stand up and she turned to the door to find out which other unfortunate person was the object of everyone's hushed whispers. She met the baby blues, and just like that her body was on fire again, transported to the sweet kiss last night and lost to the future he had promised. She'd wanted a lot of things in her life; longed for them. But none as much as she wanted this man.

"Oh, look. It's the woman beater," Shawn said loudly as he beckoned him over.

"What are you doing?" she hissed.

She didn't want to see him, let alone sit with him at the table. He was just a painful reminder. Right there, offered on a plate, but an impossible dream.

"Aw, don't be like that. We like this guy," Steph said.

"Oh, we do, do we?"

"Yes," Shawn said. "A lot more than we like Jeff."

"Speak for yourself," Hunter grunted. "I don't like either of them."

"Morning," Randy said when he reached their table.

"Morning Randy," Steph smiled.

She looked anywhere but at him. She'd been trained her whole life to handle men, to manipulate them, to control them. But this man... he had her running scared. She'd let him into her heart, opened herself up to all this pain, but his admission last night had to be the scariest thing she had heard in a long time. He loved her. Jeff had said love would make everything beautiful, but if Randy's love was anything like hers then it would destroy him. Her past would hurt him and that was the last thing she wanted.

"Hey," Randy said to her.

She looked up and immediately looked down at her coffee again. He was smart casual today; a black long-sleeved shirt and black jeans. Her heart jumped. He looked so delicious. So dangerous.

"Hey," she answered.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you," she answered.

"Good," he said. "I was wondering if we could talk."

"I... I'm still having my breakfast."

"No, she isn't. She was just about to go back to her room," Shawn said.

She glared again.

"I'll walk with you," Randy offered, his hands on the back of her chair to pull it out for her.

No, no, no. How was she going to get out of this? She wasn't ready to talk about last night.

"Jeff is waiting for me," she said quickly, turning to throw Jeff a pleading look.

"Good. Because I need to speak to him, too."

Huh? She frowned, looking at him properly for the first time. He seemed upset about something, or very angry. She'd thought he wanted to speak about last night but it was obviously something else.

"Everything alright?" Jeff asked as he came to stand beside Randy.

"No. Let's go," Randy answered.

She left the room flanked by both of them, a worried frown on her face. The fuck had happened now?

John was waiting by the elevators. He smiled warmly at her and she forced herself to smile back. Only weeks before she had liked this man, but she wasn't in the right head space to be that girl again. Maybe in a few days. In a different city.

"What's going on, Randy?" Jeff asked when they were standing in front of the elevator.

"They're some things going around. I ignored them last night but John's heard something else this morning. I think you're going to want to hear this before you head to the arena. I think you should be prepared."

"Please tell me you didn't just pull me away from my family because of stupid rumours," she said in irritation.

"They're a little more than that, Katrina. I'll tell you upstairs," Randy said. "Away from everyone."

She looked around and noticed that the hotel lobby was busy and some of the patrons were looking at them. She didn't want to create any more rumours for Steph to get upset over.

"You look very beautiful today."

She looked up at him, and watched his lips curl into a little smile. What was he on? She was dressed as she usually did; sweats and a hoodie. And of course the beanie hat. He'd always told her she looked like a hobo when she dressed like this. That was one of the biggest reasons that he'd said she was unsuitable in the first place!

"Stop fucking with me," she said.

"I'm not. You look beautiful everyday. I just thought this time around I'd tell you instead of just thinking it."

She frowned and he smiled at her again.

He had a beautiful smile. A swoon worthy smile. And, like giggling, swooning was not something she did. So she looked away before it could happen.

The doors opened and she thankfully stepped forward. But she only managed one step before she froze in her tracks.

No.

No, no, _no!_

**It has begun...**


	38. Chapter 38

The smile disappeared from Randy's lips as he came face to face with Maria. The elevator was packed full of her little diva friends, and they all immediately stopped talking when they saw them. They sneered and looked at Katrina in disgust; he had to remind himself that he couldn't touch them, that he never raised his hands to women.

Obviously Maria had told all of them about Katrina's alleged prostitution. Of course she had, judging by all the stuff he had heard at the gym this morning. He had to protect Katrina from it as much as he could, and that meant telling her what was being said so she could keep away from it while he handled the situation. It also meant beating the shit out of any man who dared say something to his face like they had done this morning. His knuckles were bruised and his hand hurt like fuck but he wasn't going to tell Kat he had gone against his word and hurt a few people.

"Well, look what we have here," Maria said as they stepped out of the elevator. "Three of you and one of her. I hope you bastards pay her what she's due. I heard lying on your back all day is pretty tiring work."

Bitch.

He looked down at Katrina and saw how tense she was. And scared. Terrified, actually. He didn't know how she had come to fight these women by herself in the first place but whatever foolhardy bravery had pushed her to do that had obviously deserted her now.

"May I have a word?" he growled out, stepping aside so Maria could precede him.

Before Katrina, this was something he could have easily handled without thought. Most people were afraid of the monster they had seen him become so many times in the past. But now he had to find a balance between the man he used to be and the man he wanted to be. For Katrina. For himself. Maria obviously thought he had gone soft to blatantly disregard his warning like this. She was deliberately hurting Katrina, and that was something he had never tolerated; even before he'd realised he loved her. This shit had to stop today. The less Katrina heard the better. Even if the rumours were true. Or especially if the rumours were true.

* * *

It couldn't be true. It couldn't be.

How was he here? She'd left him in Chicago.

Her heart pounded in her ears and she felt her strength slowly slipping from her body. Those brown eyes that had invaded her nightmares for so long were burning into her now, the lips curling into a smile that never reached the eyes. A shiver went through her body. Her stomach knotted and then turned. She was Grace all over again, stuck in her nightmare. His stale breath on her neck, his heavy weight pinning her down, his fists on her body over and over again...

Powerless. All over again.

She was vaguely aware of people talking around her, of arguments erupting, of Jeff's hand tightening over hers. But she couldn't take her eyes off the sinister smile. She could feel him as if it had been yesterday. She was right there. Paid for, for the whole night. George. Fucking George. The monster. The rapist. The paedophile.

"Hi, Gracie..."

The voice of her nightmares.

The smile got bigger and she felt physically sick. The air stunk of all the things she had left behind, almost gagging her.

No. No, she couldn't be here. It wasn't safe here.

She pulled her hand free from Jeff's and slowly backed away. The eyes never left her. Her skin crawled and she felt sweat start to form on her brow. The noise from the restaurant penetrated her daze, and she remembered Hunter was sitting in there. Hunter, Shawn and Steph. Only a few steps away from prison sentences. She had to go. They couldn't see her like this or they'd know.

She turned the other way and forced her legs to move to the stairway. Slowly at first, because she felt wooden, frozen; and then faster, until she was running.

Running as fast as she could. Up the stairs. Away.

* * *

Jeff followed Katrina, calling out to her and frowning when she didn't stop running. It was like she hadn't even heard him.

"Kitty, stop," he called again.

Wow, she was fast. They were five floors up and his lungs were burning.

"They can't hurt you again, Kat. Don't run; you're hurting your ribs."

Maria and her friends weren't going to dare touch her again; she had no need to be scared. But what the fuck had she meant about paying Kat for her services? Had she guessed? No. No, of course not. Maria was just making reference to recent events; she couldn't possibly know about Grace.

"Kitty, I mean it."

But she kept going. He caught up with her on the fifth floor and grabbed her arm to force her to stop. She tried to pull away but he turned her around and gripped both of her arms.

"I'm not going to let anyone hurt you again," he said breathlessly. "Do you hear me?"

She didn't answer. She didn't even look into his eyes.

He frowned as he studied her closely. She was shaking. Her whole body was visibly shaking.

"What's wrong?"

She didn't say a word. Instead she turned away from him and tried to run again but he put his arms firmly around her to restrain her.

"Look at me," he said. "I promise I'll protect you. Okay? Look at me."

Slowly, she lifted her gaze to his. He saw her eyes and his breath caught. They were flooded with pain. And fear. So much fear.

"Kat?"

"I need to get away," she whispered. "I need to go."

Then it hit him. This wasn't about Maria. It was about Grace.

Grace...

"He called you Grace," he whispered.

* * *

"In private? Why? So you can beat her again?" Brie sneered.

Randy's eyes narrowed on the mouthy twin. So hypocritical. He wondered what Maria would say if she ever discovered that he'd slept with most of her so-called friends as well before things had got serious with Katrina. They never had a problem with him then; now all of a sudden he was the devil himself.

"Whatever you want to say you can say in front of all of us," Nikki added.

He looked at Maria and saw the satisfied smirk on her face. She obviously didn't think he would.

"What are you trying to do here? You think this will make me love you?"

Maria had the audacity to laugh, drawing even more attention to them from the people in the lobby.

"After you've been with Katrina? I don't want to even breathe the same air as you."

From the corner of his eyes he saw Katrina and Jeff back away. Good. He wanted her as far away from these women as possible.

Some Divas chuckled at Maria's comment. Some threw in comments of their own. But he didn't take his eyes off his ex. She was the cause of this, therefore the one he needed to thwart.

"It doesn't matter to me what she was," he said.

"What she still is," Eve sneered.

He snapped his head round to the Diva, and she immediately shut her mouth.

"I think we should follow Katrina and Jeff," John said beside him. "Now's not the time or place for this."

"Now's the perfect time," he said.

He was surprised how calm he sounded. The smile slipped slightly from Maria's lips. Maybe she was finally getting how much danger she had put herself in.

His lips curled.

"You can go around saying anything you want about the fake miscarriage and that I beat you until you were a bloody mess. Hell, tell them I'm gay and used you as my cover because my father would have disowned me. I don't give a shit."

The smile disappeared completely from her lips now. He moved closer to her until his face was only inches from hers.

"I couldn't give less of a shit about you, or what you say and think about me. You don't matter to me. At all," he said. "Katrina, on the other hand... I warned you. You. Do. Not._ Fuck_. With. Her."

"What the hell's wrong with you? You'd ruin your life for a woman like that?" Nikki asked.

Nikki had never handled being the 'other woman' well, either. She was obviously still bitter about that, and he siding with Katrina had to be rubbing salt in the wound.

"I'd pick Katrina over any woman in the world. I'd do anything for her. I'd risk _everything._So I'm going to say this one last time, just in case you didn't understand me the first time. You fuck with Katrina, you fuck with me."

He moved closer still, and watched in satisfaction as fear filled Maria's eyes.

"And you don't want to fuck with me."

Maria took a step back and broke his gaze.

"Don't let him scare you, Maria," Mickie said. "You're not alone anymore. We can deal with him together."

"Oh, it's not me you should be scared of," he chuckled as he walked past Maria.

He paused. Maria's creepy uncle stood a little distance away, just watching. Why hadn't he said or done anything in defence of his niece?

With a shake of his head he continued to the stairway, John right behind him.

"Do you think that will stop them?" John asked as they half-ran up the stairs.

"No."

"Is it true?" John asked.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"And you're okay with that?"

"I've got to be."

"Good."

He stopped to look at John.

"Really?"

"I think there's more to the story. And the more I think about it the more it breaks my heart. I mean, how old is she now? Twenty four, twenty five? How young could she have been when that happened? I think she needs someone who'll love her despite all of that."

Why hadn't he thought of that? Hunter and the McMahon's were so protective of her that this wouldn't have happened on their watch. He didn't know the whole history there, but Katrina had been a part of that family for years. So if she had been a prostitute before that she couldn't have been more that a child.

A child.

"Are you alright?" John asked.

A child...

Before he could answer he heard Katrina's voice yelling, "Stop. Please stop."

And the next instant he saw Jeff almost flying down the stairs towards them. Without stopping to think he blocked Jeff's path.

"Get out of my fucking way," Jeff growled.

He'd never seen Jeff so angry, and the man had been angry with him a lot since he started seeing Katrina. His eyes were stormy, his nostrils flaring and veins were popping out of the side of his face.

"What's going on?"

"If you don't move I'll push you down the fucking stairs," Jeff threatened.

He had no doubt that he really would.

"Jeff!" Katrina called again.

Jeff didn't turn, not even when Katrina finally caught up with him and stopped at the top of the flight of stairs.

He'd seen her look terrified when they had seen Maria but now it had gone beyond that. Now she also looked desperate. And panicked. What the hell was going on here?

"Katrina?"

"Don't let him go. Please," she begged.

"I have to," Jeff snapped. "I need to."

"You'll ruin my life. You'll ruin my family!"

And then she sank down at the top of the stairs, hugged her knees, dropped her head and let out a gut wrenching sob. It was enough to make Jeff turn around and take the few steps up to her. And to break his heart.

He'd never seen her cry before. She'd always been confident. Strong. Assertive even. Looking back at it now he could see she had been the one in control of their relationship. But now she seemed... lost. Vulnerable. Not in control of anything. Watching her in so much pain hurt more than he could ever have imagined.

* * *

He knew!

How? She had been so careful, but still she had lost everything. Everything. What the hell was she supposed to do without Jeff? He'd become part of her in these past few months, part of the new her. But now he knew about Grace, knew about George... How would she ever look him in the eye again? She would see Grace in everything he said and did.

She felt his hand on her shoulder and froze. It was over. Yet everything still hung in the balance. If Jeff went back downstairs there was no telling how much he would hurt George. And the moment Hunter, Shawn and Steph found out what was happening George would die.

"Don't touch me."

"It's me," Jeff said.

She lifted her head and met his gaze. She saw Grace, just as she'd thought she would, looking back at her from those emerald eyes. Ruined. Everything was ruined.

"I said don't touch me!"

Jeff moved down a couple of steps and held his hands up.

"Let me go down there. I can fix this," he said.

"You can't fix anything. Nobody can."

"If I tell Hunter_"

"Really? What do you think Hunter will do?"

Jeff bit his lip and looked away. He knew the answer to that as well as she did. But how much did he know? And how did he know it? More importantly, when had he found out?

"When?" she asked.

She prayed he wouldn't insult her intelligence by pretending he didn't know what she was talking about.

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything."

"It changes everything."

"We're friends for life_"

"When?"

"You're not getting rid of me."

"From the beginning? Yesterday? Last week?"

"I love you, Katrina. Nothing's going to change that."

She grunted.

"Answer the fucking question. It's the very least that I deserve."

Jeff ran his fingers through his hair and briefly looked down at the men who stood silently at the bottom of the flight of stairs. Randy had made no move to find out what was happening but she could see the worried frown on his face that told her that he was going to try.

"Let's go talk somewhere private," Jeff pleaded.

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

Jeff met her eyes for a moment and then looked away again.

"Answer me," she repeated. "Please."

Jeff sighed and his shoulders slumped.

"The night Angie left me."

She sucked in a breath. That had been weeks ago. He'd been lying to her all this time. Pretending. Making a fool of her. Betraying her trust, the trust that had been so hard to give in the first place. All his uncharacteristic behaviour made sense now. He'd been indulging her. Pitying her.

She wiped the tears that were silently falling down her cheeks. She'd thought Jeff was one of the best things to have happened to her pathetic life but he'd just proved she'd been stupid to let her guard down. He didn't really care about her.

"Was that before or after you called me a selfish bitch and told me to stay the fuck away from you?"

"Kat..."

"Before or after?"

"After. I was hurt. Angry. But I would have come back to you. I would have apologised. You know that."

How was she supposed to believe that now?

"Everything's been a lie."

"No."

"That night..."

Even that beautiful night was ruined. It had been a pity fuck. Meaningless.

"No. Never that night. It was pure and honest. It was everything I feel about you."

"Bullshit. I'm going to do you a favour and do what you didn't have the balls to do that night. Goodbye, Jeff."

She stood up and tried to stop her tightening chest. It felt like cutting off a limb. But Jeff was just one man in a long line of men to abuse her; she had to let him go like she had let the others go.

"Don't do this."

"You lied. I can't ever trust you again."

"Let's talk about this. Let me explain," Jeff pleaded.

"You can't. There's no going past this."

"I found out by accident. You can't punish me for that, you can't go back on all your promises to me."

"I'll have all your shit outside the door in ten minutes. Have a nice life Jeffrey."

Then she turned away and started the long walk up the stairs. Her tears kept falling even though she told herself over and over again that she was doing the right thing. She would never get past the trust issue. Walking away was the only thing she could do.

She'd come face to face with the devil today, felt everything good she had tried to build around herself fall away to expose all the shit beneath it. But it was the thought of not having Jeff in her life that had completely broken her heart.

What the hell was she supposed to do now?

* * *

Jeff watched her disappear around the next flight of the stairs and slowly turned to face Randy and John.

Was this how real heartbreak felt like? Like he would never be whole again? It was funny how losing Angie hadn't hurt even half as much as this did.

"What the hell is going on?" Randy demanded. "What have you done to her?"

He shook his head. If Randy wanted a chance with Kat this was something she had to tell him herself.

"I fucked up," he answered. "Go after her. She can't be alone right now."

"Jeff_"

"Go."

Randy hesitated for only a moment before walking past him.

"Do yourself a favour. Don't push this," he said. "Not right now."

"How do you expect me to help her if nobody's telling me what the fuck is going on?"

"I don't know," he said. "Figure it out."

Randy continued up the stairs, taking two at a time.

"Are you okay?" John asked.

No. But he would be. Just as soon as he got to the lobby. He would never forgive himself if he let that paedophile go like Kitty had asked him to.

His blood started to boil again as he turned and shoved his way past John.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. She didn't want you going down there, and I don't think I should let you, either. You look like you wanna hurt someone."

Kill. He wanted to _kill_someone.

"All this will blow over, Jeff. Next week will be another story; you know what some of these people are like."

Was John actually following him?

"I know."

"And after what Randy did to Masters, I really doubt anyone's going to say anything to her face," John continued. "Her past is her past. We don't know why she was a... Nobody has a right to judge."

What?

He stopped and turned so quick that John almost crashed into him.

"What are they saying?"

John frowned.

"Um... That she was a prostitute in Chicago."

Fuck. If Kitty Kat heard that he didn't doubt for a moment that she would run. Disappear.

"I thought you knew. I thought that's what this is all about."

He turned around and ran down the last flight of stairs. Out of all the people here who knew Katrina's past only one would say such crap.

The dick who'd abused her.

"Jeff, wait!"

He burst through into the lobby and scanned the crowd. He couldn't see the man anymore but he couldn't have gone far.

"Dude, what's going on?"

"Stay out of this, John."

The man wasn't in the restaurant either. Hunter and his family were still sitting at their table, huddled together. They were probably planning their revenge on the Divas, blissfully unaware that the man they needed to go after was here.

How could Kitty ask him to keep this from them? They were her family.

Hunter looked up and met his gaze questioningly. But he knew instantly Katrina was right. He couldn't say anything. If they were planning to destroy the women who'd fought her they would actually kill this bastard. They'd get arrested and probably lose everything. It would ruin their family, just as Kat had said.

He, in the other hand, had nothing to lose.

He turned away from Hunter and rushed out of the restaurant.

"I know you're probably hurting right now but don't do anything stupid," John said, following him again. "I shouldn't have opened my big mouth. Randy was going to sit both of you down and tell you everything."

He was only half listening.

Where the fuck was that dick? Had he been checking out? He thought back but couldn't remember if he'd been holding any bags. He'd been too focused on Maria, he'd merely given the short, balding man a cursory glance when he'd said Grace's name.

Then he saw him.

Outside, waiting for his car calmly like an innocent man. Dressed in a crisp blue suit, hands in his pockets, a smile on his face. Sickening.

He didn't know how it happened but one minute he was in the lobby and the next he was in top of the bastard, punching the shit out of him, gaining a little pleasure from the screams, from the begging, from the sickening sound of crunching bone when one punch broke his nose. From the blood...

This was one of the people who'd destroyed Katrina. Today he would be put down like the fucking dog he was.

He hit as hard as he could, but only a few unsatisfying seconds later someone was pulling him off, restraining him.

"Stop! Are you insane?"

"I said stay out of this!"

He pushed John off and tried to kick the fucker but he was pulled back again. And someone had the balls to actually help the pig shit up and ask him if he was okay. A small crowd had gathered outside the hotel, and they were all looking at him as if he was crazy for beating up a weak, defenceless man.

"Someone's calling the police. Get out of here, Jeff," John urged.

Judging by the number of cell phones out, more than one person was calling the police. But the police could have him. Right after he'd done what he needed to do.

"What's your fucking name?" he growled, still trying to shove John off.

The man looked at him nervously as he accepted something to wipe his nose. He had evil, beady little eyes. Guilty eyes. Which one was he in Amazing Grace? Joe? Bobby? John?

He imagined every detailed scene he had read and felt sick all over again.

"Tell me, you sick fuck!" he shouted.

"Calm down. What the hell's wrong with you?" John snapped. "They're going to haul your ass to jail any minute now."

"You know what? Forget it. Let's wait for the fucking police."

As he had known, the man didn't particularly welcome that idea.

"There's no need for that," he said quickly.

His voice was high, like he hadn't gone through puberty.

"Oh, I don't know. I kinda really want to be your cellmate right now. You and me behind bars with no hope in hell of escape."

Then a black SUV pulled up and the man looked relieved. He knew straight away that it was his car and he was going to run. He tried to move but John's arms were a vice around him. And the hotel security had got in on the action, too.

"No matter where you go, I'll find you," he spat out as the man took his keys from the valet and rushed into the car. "This isn't over."

"Yes, it is," the man said as he get into the car.

And he smiled. With his broken nose and bruised face he smiled.

With all his strength he pushed John off but only managed to kick one of the doors as the car sped off.

He fell to his knees and screamed in frustration. How the hell was he going to find him again?

Number plate! Shit, why hadn't he thought of that? But the car turned out of the driveway before he could read the first letter. And with that the slime ball was free to prey on innocent little girls in Ottawa. To destroy them like he had destroyed Katrina.

"Get up."

"Did you get the plates? Was he a guest here?" he asked urgently.

If he was he could easily find out his name.

"I said get up," John said. "Move."

He finally looked up at John and saw how angry he was. The security guards were standing either side of him, also looking down at him sternly.

"He deserved it," he growled as he stood up.

He shoved past them to walk back into the hotel, ignoring the jeers and whispers of the people who'd gathered outside the hotel.

"Sir, you're going to have to come with us," one if the guards said.

Right. The police were coming for him. That meant he'd probably spend some time in a jail cell. And that dick would probably get away.

Fuck.

* * *

"Hunter's on his way."

Jeff stopped messing with the pencil on the desk to look at John.

"What?! Why?"

"Because I called him," John snapped, dropping down into one if the chairs lining the wall of the small office. "Do you have any idea what you've just done? The WWE champion arrested for beating up an old man? It's a PR disaster!"

"Right. Mr. Perfect Employee. Of course that's what you're worried about," he snapped as he stood up to pace the room.

The two security guards had led him to the Head of Security's office somewhere at the back of the hotel to wait for the police. The man himself was sitting behind his desk, his cold blue gaze not once leaving him and his nose turned up. His name badge said Kevin Jones. Besides telling him that he didn't take assault and disturbing the peace lightly, he hadn't said much else.

"I'm worried that there's a girl upstairs who needs you but you've gone and done something stupid," John snapped.

"No, you're the one who's done something stupid! Hunter's going to..."

Hunter was going to get involved and Kitty would hate him for life. She'd hate him a lot more than she did now.

"Hunter's going to fix this," John said confidently.

Yeah. By going after that man himself.

He sat back down heavily and let out a tired sigh.

"You can't tell Hunter what I did."

"It's probably all over the 'net by now," John said.

He dropped his head on the desk and closed his eyes. It was his fault. He should have played it cool until he found out the man's name and what the fuck he'd been doing here. Now when Hunter asked he wouldn't even be able to tell him anything useful.

"Why did you do it? What did that man do?"

"I said stay out of it. What are you even doing in here, anyway?"

"You obviously need a babysitter_"

"I can look after myself. Get the fuck out."

He lifted his head and met John's gaze. He knew John was just trying to help, because that was the type of guy he was. But Hunter was going to demand an explanation; he didn't want John hearing it, too.

"Seriously?" John snorted.

"Out," he repeated.

John shook his head and stood up, obviously still angry. But he was too much of a gentleman to slam his door on his way out.

"Fuck," he whispered as he dropped his head onto the desk again.

"So are you going to talk or not?"

He lifted his head to meet the icy stare of the Head of Security.

"It depends. Are you going to tell me what his name is?"

"You beat someone up and you don't even know his name?"

"I know what he did. I know what he is. That was enough."

Kevin Jones folded his arms and sat back.

"Well?"

He eyed the man. Mr. Jones didn't look like he cared one way or the other. It wouldn't matter if he told him the truth. And he really needed to unload right now.

"He hurt someone. A little girl."

Kevin frowned and sat forward.

"Are you saying...?"

"Yes. Since she was nine years old. Over and over again. But for some reason he's walking free while the girl... She'll never get over this," he whispered.

He looked away from the security guard and tried to calm his emotions.

"After I beat the bastard up he had the balls to smile at me, like he was saying, 'Fuck you, what the hell can you do?' I wanted to kill him."

"Nine years old?" Kevin asked.

He' turned his head back to Mr. Jones.

"Yeah."

"My little girl is nine," Kevin said.

* * *

Randy followed at a distance, not sure what he was supposed to do. Any other day he would have been elated that Hardy wasn't in the picture anymore but right now Jeff was probably the one she needed.

Because Jeff obviously knew what was wrong.

Katrina had run all the way to their floor, and he hadn't missed the nervous glances she'd kept throwing around her. But when he'd gone to help her with the door, she'd jumped a mile out of her skin like she hadn't even noticed him behind her, even though she'd glanced back at him a few times.

It was like she was lost in her own head. She was running scared. And something told him she wasn't scared of Maria like he'd first thought. This was much bigger.

"If he comes for his stuff, don't let him in." Katrina walked to the bedroom, her movements jerky as she scooped an arm full of clothes from the bedroom floor.

He stood just inside the door, a frown on his face as he watched her storm back across the room and throw the lot outside the door. She was an odd mixture of terrified and angry, but in the minute that they had been in the room she seemed to have become more angry than scared. Her face was dry now but her eyes were red from the crying she had done when she'd broken up with Jeff.

She was obviously upset about that, but again, he had a feeling this was a lot bigger than Jeff. Not Maria, not Jeff. And not the rumours about her prostitution because he hadn't got around to telling her about them yet. So was this about the rape?

Only a couple of days ago he'd seen her this scared. When he'd approached her after the fight. And when the trainer had tried to look at her.

_When men had approached her when she was vulnerable_.

"Talk to me, Katrina."

She said nothing else as she continued to gather Jeff's things from the suite. But John's words kept running through his mind. How old had she been?

Rape? _Child abuse?_

"And as soon as he gets his stuff you can go, too."

"I'm not leaving you alone." How could she even suggest that? She was scared of something, there was no way in hell he was leaving her to face it alone.

Something? Or was it _someone_? Someone Jeff knew about, judging by the scene on the stairway. Someone he was hell-bent on going after.

"I don't want you here. You're all the same," she snapped as she threw another load outside. "You all want to use me, you all want something. I'm done being anybody's toy."

"The last thing I want to do is use you. You have no idea how much I wish I'd done things differently, but I can't change the past. I can only promise to do the best I can from here on out."

"I don't want your empty promises," she said, grabbing another arm full of stuff. "I want you to stay the fuck away from me. I want everyone to stay the fuck away from me."

"I get that the shit happening right now is fucked up. But I'll fix that, I promise. I'll take care of you, Katrina. Last night... I thought we were on the same page."

"We're not even reading the same book, Orton." She snorted and hurled a suitcase to the door.

The case landed with a dull thud, spilling the rest of Jeff's things to the floor. And among those things was, ironically, a book. The book full of rape and paedophilia that he'd tried to read before.

He frowned.

Then he looked at her face and saw how completely pale she'd gone.

The book. The book about an abused little girl writing about her life so her friend could understand her. The book about the little girl who'd been sold to men by her own mother.

No.

No, no, fuck no!

* * *

**So many revelations in one chapter…**


	39. Chapter 39

**Thanks for the reviews and the follows. Love you guys.**

This was worse than she'd imagined. Jeff had the book so that meant he knew everything. All the sordid details. All her demons.

Grace was really here. That bitch was alive again.

She staggered towards the bedroom. The adrenaline that had been pumping from the moment she'd seen George had lowered so she felt the searing pain in her ribs. It was magnified after all the running she had done, making her nauseous. But she wasn't going to allow herself to give in to the pain, not just yet.

First she needed to get herself as far away from Ottawa, preferably out of Illinois altogether. It didn't matter where as long as there was no chance of bumping into George and the rest of the sick freaks that'd paid for her services when she'd been younger. Or Jeff.

The further away from Jeff she was the better.

"Katrina?"

Startled, she turned around quickly to see Randy standing in the doorway. She'd forgotten he was there. Witnessing everything. The last thing she needed right now was for him to discover the truth, too. That would kill her.

She needed to get a hold of herself.

"I'm getting out of here." She cleared her throat to get rid of the tremour in her voice. "I'm leaving."

It took a little longer than she wanted to stuff her meagre belongings in her little holdall because her fingers were trembling too much.

"I just...I'm..." Randy stumbled. "Fuck."

Fuck? She risked a glance at him. He looked a bit weird, a bit sickly. His baby blues were boring holes through her, studying her as if he'd never seen her before. It was unnerving. It was as if he could see everything she was trying so hard to hide. She took a calming breath and met the gaze head on.

"Listen," she started, "I'm sorry you had to see that stuff with Jeff. I'm sorry I caused that mess with Maria. So I'm putting an end to all this shit right now."

"What do you mean?"

"You and I are never going to happen, so it seems pointless to go through all of this. I'll be fine. Go back to your life."

And she would be stuck with hers. Miserable, damaged and alone until the day she died. Just as it was meant to be.

Randy walked forward, his gaze still locked on hers. She tensed, out of Grace's old habits. But she forced herself to relax when he stood in front of her. Randy wasn't George; he was the man she loved.

"I'm sorry you feel like that," he said. "But _you_are my life. I'm not going away just because you're having a bad day."

Bad _day_? She would have laughed if she wasn't so shaken up.

"Trust me on this one." She bent to pick her bag up and immediately regretted it when the pain almost knocked her over.

Randy came instantly to her aid, putting his arms around her to help her back up. She couldn't stop the trembling this time. All of a sudden Randy's hands were George's.

"I'm okay," she lied. "I just need a minute."

She pushed his arms away and grit her teeth as she walked to the adjoining bathroom. When she shut the door she leaned back against it and muffled a cry against her fist. She didn't want to break down now. If she started, she wouldn't stop. She'd lose it; she'd lose herself in the rapidly deepening pool of shit that was Grace's life.

And she didn't think she was strong enough to pull herself out a second time.

Slowly, she walked to the sink and washed her face. Then she lifted her head and saw a stranger in the mirror. Most of the makeup she'd used to cover her bruises washed off, but that wasn't the reason she looked different. Her eyes were a dull, dead grey, mirroring her heart. They were Grace's eyes. And it was Grace's face, but with everything she had tried to hide fighting its way to the surface.

She had no control of anything anymore. She was lost. Gone.

Blinking back some tears, she opened the cabinet and came face to face with a bottle of painkillers.

* * *

Randy stood leaning against the frame of the open door, his hands in his pocket in an attempt to stop himself from picking the book up.

All of the horrendous things that had gone through his head over the past few days didn't come close to this. Nothing could have come close to this. Nothing could have prepared him. His heart squeezed in his chest as the descriptive words on the back of the book jumped up at him, each one of them breaking him, hurting him. Torturing him. Angering him.

_Find them, Randall. Find them and kill them. _

The woman he loved had been inhumanely violated. Completely damaged. Scarred. Broken to the point that having him close terrified the shit out of her.

And her life story was in that book. All the heartbreaking details. Just a step away.

He had the same book in the back of his trunk; he could read it in the privacy of his room and learn everything he needed to know about Katrina. But this knowledge was probably why Jeff had been given the boot even though it was obvious he meant a lot to her.

It all made sense now. The big secret that Jeff, Hunter, Shawn and the McMahons kept. The reason they were so protective. The reason they'd been ready to kill him when he had treated her like a whore. And the reason Katrina couldn't commit to him.

"You okay?"

He looked up from the book to see John coming towards him up the hallway, surveying Jeff's scattered belongings.

But he couldn't speak. He wasn't okay.

"What happened?" John asked.

He shook his head and looked down at the book again.

Katrina was emotionally and mentally broken. He had his own issues, emotional scars that seemed so trivial now. Still, all that shit had damaged him. He could only imagine how this had damaged Katrina. He was probably the wrong person to help her through this but he'd be damned if he was going to let that make him walk away.

"Katrina and I are leaving. Can you get my stuff?"

It was the only way. If he was ever going to make her believe he would stick by her no matter what he had to be there for her now. Even if the book on the floor was now weighing on his shoulders, crushing him.

John leaned on the wall opposite him. He didn't have to look up to know his friend was scrutinising him.

"It's true, isn't it? All that stuff we heard?"

"No."

"Then what's going on?"

"I can't leave her alone right now. Could you get my stuff?"

He wasn't going to be the one to reveal the secret she obviously worked so hard to keep. He loved John, but this was something he needed to stay out of. At least for now.

After a few moments of more scrutiny John nodded and pushed himself off the wall.

He had already packed his stuff because Jeff and Katrina were supposed to move out of his room in the afternoon. All he had to do was convince Katrina to let him tag along. If she didn't allow that he was going with her anyway.

* * *

Jeff gripped the piece of paper in his fist, afraid that if he put it in his pocket he'd lose it. But that was stupid. He'd already memorised every word.

The elevator stopped and he took a breath, steeling himself for whatever awaited him. Beating that asshole up had brought only a momentary distraction from the reality he had to face. The fucked up reality.

Kitty meant more to him than Angie ever did. That was why losing her hurt so much. He should have recognised that from the beginning, even before he'd got jealous of Katrina's budding friendship with Matt. Angie had seen it. And he was sure Matt saw it too.

He was in love with his friend.

And he was royally fucked.

He stepped out and turned towards their... Kitty's room but he had to stop when he saw his clothes strewn across the hallway. Like a symbol of what his life would be like without her.

He looked away from his stuff to meet the Viper's gaze. It was empty. Blank. Odd. Randy had his hands in his pockets, but there was nothing laid back about stance. Even from a distance he could see how tense, how tightly controlled the Apex Predator was. And he could feel waves of something dangerous rolling off him.

With a frown he started walking forward until he stood right in front of him. It wasn't just danger he felt from Randy. It was also despair. All perfectly masked with the blank exterior.

Anyone looking at him probably wouldn't recognise it. But he knew. It was how he'd felt from the moment he'd found out about Grace. Minus the controlled composure.

He looked down at his things again until he found what he was looking for. Right there by Randy's feet.

Then he met the blue gaze again.

"If you can't handle this walk away now. Don't give her any false hopes."

"I'm never walking away."

He nodded. Somehow he had already known that. Even though Randy and Kitty had only been intimate a few months he couldn't deny how intense their time together had been. He'd been an unwilling witness to it.

With a weary sigh he knelt down and started packing his things. He was surprised when Randy knelt too and helped. Nobody would ever believe him if he told them Randy Orton had helped him pick his underwear off the floor.

"What happened to your hand?"

He looked down at his scraped knuckles, finding a little comfort in the feel of the piece of paper crushed between his fingers.

"Nothing."

He didn't doubt Randy would join him in avenging Kitty Kat. But she needed him right now, and he refused to be responsible for taking Randy away from her, not today. News of what he had done was probably already making its rounds; Randy would find out soon enough. Then he could connect the dots himself. He'd probably connect them sooner if he really thought about it, which, he was guessing, the Viper was in no state of mind to do right now.

"We're leaving," Randy said. "Well, she's leaving and I'm following her."

He sat down heavily in the middle of the hallway. Kitty had meant everything she'd said. She never wanted to see him again. She was running away, just as Hunter had said she would. The enormity of it hit him again, knocking the wind out of him.

"I love her," he revealed.

"I know," Randy said, sitting down too.

He looked up at his old nemesis questioningly.

"After last night...the way you looked at me...it just dropped," Randy explained. "I'm sorry you two have ended like this. I know it's tearing her apart. But I love her, too. I'm not going to let you take her from under my nose again."

"She was never mine. It was all just... We are...were just friends."

Randy made a face and looked away.

"I heard you. The night I broke up with Maria... You two broke my heart."

He studied his bloody knuckles.

"I'm sorry. There were a lot of broken hearts flying around that night."

He met the blue gaze again.

"I'm not going to come between you. Just make sure you treat her right, okay? "

Randy picked up the book that still sat on the floor between them and gently ran his hand over the front of it before he handed it over.

"The way I see it, she needs all the love she can get," Randy said. "I don't know why, but she needs you. I hope you two will find a way past this; I really do."

He would try. Kitty was his best friend; he wasn't going to throw that away.

A door opened further up and John came out, rolling a big suitcase behind him. He paused for a moment when he saw him.

"I thought your ass was stewing in a jail cell already." John pulled the luggage until he stopped next to them.

"What?" Randy asked.

He ignored the question as he put the book in his case and zipped it up.

"Didn't you tell him?"

"Tell me what?" Randy asked, getting to his feet.

"I told you to stay out of this, Cena," he snapped.

"Has this got something to do with your bloody hand?" Randy asked.

"Jeff, what did you do?"

At the sound of Katrina's voice he quickly got to his feet and turned to the door.

"Kitty Kat..."

She didn't meet his eyes. She didn't look at any of them. She was dressed to go, in her thick coat, baggy jeans, her warm boots and a woollen hat that covered her ears. Her arm was across her chest so he guessed her ribs were hurting her after she'd disregarded them earlier.

But her other hand had a tight grip on her bag. An unnaturally tight grip that belied how she was feeling. She seemed different. Her shoulders were slumped and there was a certain aura around her that felt as if she had given up.

"Kat, I'm sorry," he started.

But she cut him off with a shake if her head as she walked out and started walking away.

"I'll make it right. You're still my best friend, Kitty Kat."

She didn't stop. She didn't even pause.

"You and I need a serious talk," Randy growled.

He met the Viper's furious gaze. The dots seemed to have connected quicker than he'd anticipated. And the controlled composure had slipped a little. With a nod he watched Randy grab his things and follow.

Then he turned and saw the frown on John's face. It seemed the dots were connecting there, too.

* * *

"So where are we going?"

Katrina eyed the man standing next to her with an irritated frown.

"You can't come with me. You have to work tonight."

"I'll call Hunter once we're out of here."

If she managed to get out of here. There were still so many people in the lobby, and George could be anywhere among them. Or he could be on the plane she wanted to catch. Or the train. Or even if she decided to catch a bus instead. He could be watching her right now, just waiting to follow her.

Fear of that possibility had crippled her on the spot.

She wished she'd had the guts to ask Jeff what exactly he had done. Had he hurt George? Had he caused a scene? Alerted everyone of what had happened to her?

But even the thought of other people knowing couldn't move her.

"Are we going to your home?"

"No!"

That was the first place Hunter would look. She looked back at the restaurant entrance when she remembered her family were possibly still in there. They'd ask too many question if they saw her leaving.

"I've got a rental. I can drive us wherever you want."

She looked at Randy again. He was casually looking around the lobby, but there was something about his eyes that suggested he was looking for something. Maybe he was on the lookout for Maria and her friends. Or maybe he was trying to figure out just what Jeff had done, like she was. God, she hoped not!

She frowned. From what she had overheard, John already knew what Jeff had done. He'd tell Randy, and they'd both be one step closer to the truth. That meant she had to let him tag along until something else was trending backstage, even if she was on edge with him at the moment. But that wouldn't last though. She wouldn't jump everytime he touched her or got too close. She'd managed to pull herself together before she could do it again. Couldn't she?

She let out a shaky breath, blocking out the image of the empty pill bottle in the bathroom upstairs.

"Okay, let's go," she said.

She kept her head down and walked quickly through the lobby.

* * *

"Where is she?"

Jeff stood aside to let Hunter in. He'd traded his and Kat's room for a smaller one to buy himself some time but he'd known the Cerebral Assassin would find him.

He'd planned for that, though.

Hunter stopped when he saw Matt, Shane and John-who'd been dogging his tracks since Kitty and Randy had left-seated on the bed.

"Hey, big guy," Adam said from the only chair on the room.

And of course, the Rated R Superstar. The scene wouldn't be complete without the biggest loudmouth in the WWE.

Hunter wouldn't dare grill him on front of Adam.

"She's gone. Randy's taken her away for a little while."

Hunter turned and pinned him to the spot with his murderous gaze.

"I've been looking for you everywhere," Hunter growled. "What the fuck is going on?"

When Hunter had found his way to the Head of Security's office, Kevin had stepped outside and calmly informed him that he had misunderstood the message. No WWE employees had been involved in any disturbances on his watch. He'd had a word with the police as well, but seeing that the assaulted man hadn't come forward and the security tapes had mysteriously not held the information they wanted, they'd had no choice but to walk away.

Kevin had stuck his neck out for him. Then he'd given him the information he needed.

He wasn't about to release that information to a man who was bound to murder that dick, putting Kevin under fire on the process. No. This one required a little finesse.

"We're having beverages," Adam piqued. "Would you care for a beer?"

Hunter looked at Adam and then at him. He obviously knew this was a set up.

"Step outside."

"You know what they say about thin walls. Or flies on walls. It is it just flies? I always get mixed up."

Hunter's eyes narrowed.

"Trust me," he said seriously. "Please."

Hunter looked back at the other men on the room again. His gaze stopped on John, who didn't even squirm. A big turnaround from the man who'd squealed in the first place.

"Meet me in my room in one hour. We'll leave for the arena together." Hunter shot him a last look before he stormed out.

He let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding before he turned back to his friends.

"Okay. We've got rid of him. Now what's going on?" Adam asked.

"We're having beverages," he shrugged as walked forward and sat back on his spot on the floor next to him.

He picked his beer up and took a sip as he met the gazes of the men on the bed in turn.

They knew he was playing them, too. Because they knew they couldn't ask questions in front of Adam, either.

"Funny thing happened earlier," Adam said as he stretched. "All the Divas involved in that fight backstage are having a meeting with Steph and a couple of people from the legal department tonight. The twins were set to start a feud for the Women's Championship tonight but it seems that's been pulled. Nikki... or was it Brie? Anyway, one of them thought if they promised me head I'd have a word with Hunter and tell him they were just defending themselves."

Matt snorted.

"I know," Adam said. "I like Kat. I wouldn't throw her under a bus for those two skanks."

"You like her? Shocking. Last I heard you were trying to sleep with her, and we all know how you treat the women you sleep with," Shane said.

"I haven't been trying to sleep with her. Not since the last time we hung out, anyway. There's something kinda sad about her that makes me think I'd feel like a complete tool if I pursued that. Plus there's no way Randy would let me anywhere near her now, after what he did to Chris," Adam grinned.

Apparently Masters had said a lot of derogatory shit about Kitty to his friends while they'd been working out. Randy had been in earshot and... Well, that hadn't ended well for Masters. Adam had been there cheering his friend on but Cena had been the one to pull Orton back before he'd used a set of dumbbells on the dude. Cena. Always messing with people's fun.

"Where have they gone, anyway?" Adam continued.

"Away," Jeff answered.

"When's she coming back?" Matt asked.

He shrugged and took a sip of his beer again. He didn't meet anyone's eyes this time. The piece of paper was burning a hole in his pocket but it was important now more than ever to pretend everything was fine.


	40. Chapter 40

**Sorry guys, I haven't proofread, and I'm not entirely sure what I wrote as I'm a bit ill and not up to it (and probably doped up on medication). But I feel like I've had this chapter for too long and just want to get rid of the damn thing. They've also been stuck in the same day for too long, so the next chapter will be probably be a week or so after this. **

* * *

"What's going on, honey?"

Hunter looked away from the view of the city behind the arena to give his wife a smile. She sat at the head of the table while two of the WWE attorneys went over some papers next to her. It wouldn't do him any good to lie. Steph could read him like an open book.

"Kat is gone."

"Home?"

He shrugged.

"She's not answering her phone."

"Well, where's Jeff?"

"That's what I want to know," he growled.

Jeff hadn't come to his room like he'd told him to. And he wasn't answering his damn phone, either.

"You mean she's out there by herself?"

Steph stood up to join him by the window, a worried frown on her face.

"She's with Randy," he assured her quickly, putting his arm around her. "But I can't help feeling something happened."

Oh, he was positive something bad had happened. Otherwise Katrina wouldn't have left without a word, and Jeff - who'd possibly been involved in a fight - wouldn't be avoiding him.

"Randy? Chris Masters is coming in later to put a formal complaint about him. Something about assault," Steph said with a frown.

Could that be the fight John had called him about? No. It couldn't be. John had specifically said Jeff had gone crazy and beat someone up.

But of course, John wasn't picking up his phone either to explain that.

Which only left one conclusion, and his blood was boiling just thinking about it.

Maybe he was being paranoid because he'd spent the last couple of years searching crowds of faces for the ones who'd got away. But if it was just his paranoia why was Jeff going out of his way to avoid him? And why had he told him to trust him?

"Maybe Masters did something to Katrina and Randy had to get her out of here," Steph suggested. "He seemed upset when he came to get her at breakfast this morning."

"Maybe."

"But you're worried that it's something else," Steph guessed.

Something a lot worse. He nodded and Steph put her palm to his cheek.

"Randy's not answering his phone. Jeff's avoiding me. I just... I need to know."

"Go and find Jeff. Maybe he'll have the answers."

"The Divas_"

"I can handle them. Go."

He kissed her quickly and made his way out of the room. Jeff was going to give him the answers alright.

* * *

Jeff peered around the sound equipment for the millionth time and then perched back in his seat. Right on the edge so he could bolt at a second's notice.

The sound technician looked at him again, but didn't say a word. He had his headphones on and was busy doing a last-minute check of the music while the rest of the crew bustled around them getting the set ready for the show.

Nobody would look for him here. And he had no promos scheduled with Hunter for the house show, so that was in his favour, too.

He looked back at his phone and googled private detectives in Ottawa. He knew where the dick lived but he had to think really carefully about what he was going to do about that. That meant at least doing some research and being clever about it. The douche had to pay but he didn't want to go to jail.

"Did you really think you could run from me?"

Damn! He jumped from his seat and came face to face with the Cerebral Assassin. Obviously, this particular model came with some sort of inhuman stealth mode.

"I was going to try."

He put his phone back in his pocket and tried to walk past the furious man. It was worth a try. But Hunter grabbed the back of his top and marched him past the gawking tech crew. Instead of going up the ramp to the back, he was pushed towards the vehicle entrance and down the driveway.

The trucks had already been unloaded and everyone was busy setting up inside so there was hardly anyone in the truck bay. Still, the few people who were here would hopefully stop this from getting too ugly.

But Hunter told them to get lost and they scurried away like mice. Cowards.

Hunter released him with a shove behind the parked production trucks and he took a moment to straighten his clothes and arrange his thoughts.

"Where's Katrina?"

"I told you. Randy took her away from here."

"Why?"

"It got too much for her," he shrugged.

"And she just let Randy go with her when she could have asked you?"

"You're the one who told me not to complicate things," he hissed. "You pushed her right into Randy's arms the night of the fight so don't stand there and pretend you're not happy about that."

Hunter folded his arms and studied him with a frown.

"Did you tell her how you feel?"

"Of course not," he grunted.

"So why would she just leave? Why isn't she answering her phone?" Hunter asked urgently.

He shrugged but couldn't meet Hunter's gaze. The man was beside himself with worry but he couldn't tell him the truth. Unless… Unless he told only part of the truth.

"Don't freak out, okay?"

Hunter's eyes narrowed.

"She left because she found out that I know."

"What?! Why the hell did you tell her?"

"I didn't tell her. She found the book and guessed."

Okay. So his actions had told her, she'd only found the book after. But he wasn't going to tell Hunter that.

"You stupid, stupid boy," Hunter said as he took his phone out. "Why did you leave the book where she could find it when you knew how devastated she'd be?"

"It was in my bag... I didn't think," he said.

"Does she know I gave it to you? Is that why she's not answering my calls?"

"I didn't tell her anything. She just left and Randy followed her."

Hunter put his phone away, the worry slowly leaving his face. And the fury returned. Like Randy's, it was controlled, but lethal.

Obviously he'd somehow said a trigger word. This talk was far from over.

"Randy's not answering his phone, either."

"He's driving. Sent me a text that he would call me as soon as they stopped for the night."

"Randy sent _you_ a text."

"Yes."

"Show me."

Shit.

Randy _had_ sent a text. He _had _said he would call him as soon as they stopped. But he'd also said if he didn't tell him what he wanted to know he was going to drive all the way back and hurt him. And then he'd find the bastard he'd beat up and finish the job.

That wasn't an idle threat. And if he showed Hunter the message he would know exactly what was happening.

"Can't."

"But you want me to believe a man who doesn't really like you sent you a message like you're friends?"

"We_ have_ become friends." Sort of. "We shared a room the other night, remember? And he messaged me because he wants to know why Kitty Kat is so upset."

"Show me."

"No."

Hunter chuckled but there was no mirth anywhere on his face or in his voice. Just pure, cold rage. He sounded the way he imagined a predator sounded like after it had brought its prey down and was just about to sink its teeth right into the jugular.

"So Randy beats up Masters then disappears with Kitty, doesn't answer my calls - or any calls from the company, actually - but sends you a message?"

"Yes."

"Because you had a slumber party?"

"Yes."

"Let's assume that's true. Why did he fight with Masters?"

"There are things going around about Kitty Kat. Masters was just unfortunate enough to repeat them in front of Randy."

"What sort of things?"

"A lot. But it all boils down to the fact that they're all calling her a prostitute."

More specifically, a prostitute from the streets of Chicago and exactly how much she charged. But he wasn't going to get into specifics. He didn't want to say anything that would get Hunter questioning exactly where that information had come from.

Hunter frowned.

"Give me names."

"Everyone. That's why Randy took her out of here."

"Okay. Assuming that's also true, none of that explain why your knuckles are bruised. Who did you fight with, Jeffrey?"

"Somebody else who said something about Kitty Kat. I've dealt with it, it doesn't matter anymore."

"Someone from the company?"

"Yes."

"And yet they haven't come forward the way Masters did?"

"Like I said; I dealt with it," he said. "And don't let Masters off easy. That dude had it coming."

Hunter studied him a little more. He got the feeling that not much he had said had passed the test. He was still deep in dog shit.

"I have a match to get ready for. Can I go?"

"Sure."

Relief flooded through him.

"After you answer one more question."

Fuck.

"If it's all so simple, why the fuck were you avoiding me? Why didn't you just pick up your phone? Why would John tell me you'd just beat up some old man and were waiting for the police? Then why would he also stop taking my calls?"

He swallowed.

"You said one question."

Hunter took a step forward that had him up against the cold side of a WWE truck.

"Okay, okay, back the fuck off," he snapped. "I'm not telling you shit. Katrina found out I know about her past and told me she never wants to see me again. I hurt her and she doesn't trust me anymore. I love that girl so I'll be damned if I do anything else to ruin her life. You can try to beat it out of me but my lips are sealed, H."

He made to walk past Hunter but his arm blocked him. He looked up to meet the angry gaze.

"I have a match. Beat me up and get it over with or let me go," he growled.

Hunter stared him down for a few more seconds before he finally put his arm down. Thank God, 'cause he really didn't want to get beat up.

He was almost at the start of the entrance way back into the arena when Hunter's voice stopped him.

"You _will_ tell me everything, Jeff. Count on it."

* * *

"Mum, I'm fine. That had nothing to do with this company," Maria said.

She had her hands-free earpiece so she could finish doing her hair and makeup. Her mother tended to stay I'm the phone longer than she did, and that was saying something.

"I still think you should come home. Especially considering what Randy did to you. How can you hold your head up after that?"

"I can take care of myself, Mum. And if anyone beat up George then I bet he deserved it."

"Maria!"

"Not now, mum. I have to get to a meeting."

She hung up without waiting for an answer and took the earpiece out.

"Your uncle is the man who got beaten up?"

She rolled her eyes before she turned to face Eve.

"No," she lied. "Mum was just saying it could have been. She's still trying to make me quit, and everything that's happening now is giving her ammunition."

"Well done for sticking up for yourself," Eve said. "Come on. We don't want to be late."

She took one last look in the mirror and then followed her friend.

"I hope we aren't in too much trouble," Eve said.

Unlike her, Eve didn't have her parents' money to fall back on, but she doubted they were in any trouble at all.

"I think it's just a formality. They wouldn't fire us because of that skank. She's not even a WWE employee."

"You're right," Eve said. "I heard she's gone now so I bet all this will be swept under the carpet."

Gone? She felt a smile stretch her lips; the first genuine one that day. She'd thought it would take a lot more than this to break that bitch. And, honestly, after the way Randy had humiliated her earlier, she'd really wanted to hurt Katrina a lot more. But it was probably better this way.

She didn't want to think about how far Randy would have gone to protect Katrina. Already there we're questions about the accusations he'd thrown earlier, about her lying about the miscarriage. She'd explained that one away and possibly gained a few more sympathy points but she didn't want any spanners like that thrown into her plans again.

They turned into the hallway where Stephanie's office had been set up and she slowed down.

There was a gathering outside Steph's office, along the walls and seated on the production cases. A gathering that was quite decisively on Katrina's side. All the men who'd somehow bought whatever crap she was selling.

John. Adam. Matt. Shane. Dolph. Morrison. Even Melina was there. Had they been called to a meeting, too? Or were they waiting to cause a scene when she and the girls walked out with nothing but a slap on the wrist? That would piss Randy off. She smiled another genuine smile at the thought of that.

But where was Randy? She would have thought he'd be first to witness what they all probably assumed was her downfall.

Her smile lost some of its shine.

"Have you seen Randy since this morning?"

"Masters said he's run away. Apparently he didn't want to face the consequences of what he did. Chris had to have stitches, plus he has a concussion."

Randy didn't run from anybody, which left only one conclusion. Her blood boiled just thinking about it.

"If he was like that with you then you're lucky you left him," Eve continued.

"If?"

"You know what I mean," Eve said with a wave of her manicured hand.

They had reached Katrina's entourage so she let that one go. She would have to address it soon, though, before everybody started doubting her stories.

Nobody said a word to them, not even a greeting. In fact, they seemed to act like she and Eve weren't even there. That was fine with her. She didn't like any of them anyway.

The twins, Kelly and Jillian arrived, making up the rest of the girls who'd helped her with Katrina. She supposed it looked a bit unfair, six on one. But that whore had asked for it; she wasn't going to feel bad about that.

The door opened and Steph stepped out with a welcoming smile. Whatever doubts she'd had disappeared. Steph wouldn't be smiling like that if she was really upset with them.

"Ladies, come on in," Steph said.

She smiled back and walked ahead of her group of friends. Steph would have her back. Especially when she heard how Katrina had sunk her claws into Hunter, too.

* * *

"So let me get this right. This woman somehow gets past security and has been sleeping around with your boyfriends?"

"Well, technically Matt isn't my boyfriend. We were sort of taking things slowly," Eve said.

"But I was already with Randy. She was with him even before he proposed to me," Maria said. "When I found out I left him."

Steph looked down at her notes. Were these women serious?

"And the stress caused your miscarriage over the Christmas break?"

"Yes. I was going to let it go," Maria continued. "I had let it go. But out of the blue she just attacked me and my friends. I had to defend myself."

"Of course," Steph said. "Given all these things that she's done, I can understand that."

"You should have seen her when Randy and his friends took us out," Eve said. "She had the nerve to sit at our table and flaunt herself. Had all the men eating out of her hand, offering to buy her clothes and pay her rent. It was disgusting."

Except she already had the correct version of that from Katrina.

"And when I couldn't take anymore I decided to leave but she followed us to the bathroom and told me she could have whoever she wanted," Maria added. "I suppose that's true, considering all they have to do is pay her."

Steph tensed. What?

"Excuse me?"

Maria leaned forward like she was about to share some juicy gossip. But she felt sick to her stomach. Somebody knew about Kat's past.

"I heard from a good source that she's a prostitute. She must have set her sights higher after Jeff picked her up."

"A good source?"

Maria's face closed up but she'd already seen the truth. Not only did Maria know Kat's past, she actually knew someone who'd abused her!

She gripped the pen tighter and pretended to look at her notes again.

"It doesn't matter," Maria said. "But between you and me, you need to watch your husband's comings and goings. I've heard things about the two of them, too. You can never be too careful these days, especially when prostitutes are concerned. That girl really is shameless."

Steph swallowed and put the pen down. The game had changed. It had changed so drastically.

"Thanks for the heads up. But back to the matter at hand; you know we have a strict no backstage fighting rule. Because of that I'm afraid I have to formally deal with this issue."

"But it wasn't our fault," Nikkie protested.

"I know where the fault lies. But rules are rules. I'm afraid I'm going to have to fine you, and for the next 3 months you're suspended from any in-ring performances. You're still required to show up to work."

"We only got involved because she attacked us," Jillian protested.

"It _is_ a bit steep, Steph, especially considering she attached us," Maria added.

"I know, but it's that or Katrina presses charges. Six women against one tiny one. It's not going to end well for you, no matter how you defend that."

"But we had a title match," Brie spoke up. "We've worked so hard for that."

"I'm afraid we've had to scrap that. Sorry ladies, but that's the best we could do."

The lawyers passed her the contracts she'd asked for and she have them a final glance. These women weren't big in the small print, normally. She hoped that would be the case now.

"These are the terms the Board of Directors and legal department agreed on. A fine of twenty thousand dollars each; a three-month in-ring ban; forfeit of any titles, title shots and any storylines leading to a title shot until the Board does a review; and you still have to turn up for work. Look them over and sign please."

"That's a lot of money," Kelly said as they all took their contacts.

"Compared to jail time I think it's pittance," she replied.

As she had known, that got them to sign straight away.

"I'm glad that's settled," Maria said.

"So am I," she said. "Now, please excuse me. I have more people to see before the show starts."

And an angry husband to break the news to.

* * *

Randy accepted his bags of food from the McDonald's cashier and then drove around to the parking lot. It was a little busy even though it was close to midnight, he supposed because there was a college campus nearby.

Katrina had gone straight to sleep the second they'd walked into the double room at the motel. But he had calls to make and he couldn't risk her overhearing any of his conversations. He wasn't so sure he wanted to hear them either, but it had to be done.

First, though, he needed to calm himself. They'd driven for eight hours, and in the constraints of the hire car he hadn't had a chance to properly digest and react to what he knew. The whole ride he'd fought between taking her as far away from Ottawa as possible and driving back to find out what Jeff had done.

No. He already knew what Jeff had done. Once he'd realised the heartbreaking truth of Katrina's past, the conversation she'd had with Jeff had made complete sense.

She hadn't wanted him to go downstairs to deal with someone who'd hurt her in the past. He'd done it anyway, and for that Jeff had his eternal gratitude.

But he should have finished the bastard.

On that thought he dialled Jeff's number.

"Where are you?" Jeff asked after only one ring.

"Grand Island."

"Nebraska?"

"Hmm."

"How is she?"

"She's fine. I'm just out getting some food. We're at a motel for the night but we're on the move at first light."

"Good. Keep her away for a little while. I need to handle things here first."

"And by handle this I assume you mean you need to kill the dick who hurt Katrina?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"You need to stay out of this, Randy. You saw how she reacted when she tried to stop me from hurting that dick."

"You should have told me. The second you knew that sick fuck was close you should have fucking told me."

He punched the steering wheel in frustration.

"And then what? You'd have killed him?" Jeff snorted. "Well, you'd have had a job getting past Cena. Dude's built like a fucking truck."

Of course. Cena had seen everything. If Jeff didn't tell him what he wanted to know, his friend would be more forthcoming with information.

"Tell me what happened."

Jeff sighed.

"Only if you promise me you'll stay with Kitty Kat."

"He's out there! If we don't move quickly he'll_"

"He won't get away. Trust me. But Katrina's hurting, Randy. It's only been five years; she still has nightmares about it - you saw her the other night. That's why we need to tread carefully."

"I know it's a delicate situation but I'm not going to just sit back_"

"I'm not asking you to let this go. On the contrary. She needs a man who'll protect her at whatever cost," Jeff said. "All I'm saying is that, for now, concentrate on her."

"How can I do that when she's hurting like this? When she can't even look at me?"

He closed his eyes briefly against the tension headache that had plagued him all day.

"We drove for hours, Jeff, and all that time she huddled against her door like she was ready to jump out of the moving car if I even breathed wrong. I don't know what to do."

"I don't know either. But here's what I do know. If you don't take some time to think about this, if you rush down here to find this man instead of being with her when she needs you, she'll never trust you again. And you'll probably never see her again."

He looked around the parking lot as he contemplated the words. If that was true it meant if he kept this secret like Jeff had done she'd never trust him, either. But if he told her he knew what was going on she'd walk away from him just as easily as she'd walked from Jeff.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

"You know if she... If she didn't trust you or have feelings for you then she wouldn't have let you touch her, don't you?" Jeff asked.

"Feelings?"

"That's all you're getting from me," Jeff said. "But my point is if you fuck this up, knowing Kitty the way I know her, she'll probably never trust a man enough to get that close again."

"Geez. No pressure, right?"

"If you want to walk away, then walk away. I don't think anyone who knows the whole story will fault you for that. But do not fuck this up."

"Falling in love with her...admitting to myself that I need someone else was scary enough without all of this. It's like someone up there has played a big joke on me by throwing me right into the deep end and I have to learn to swim or I'll sink. I don't want to walk away. But I don't know if I can swim, Jeff."

"You're the Great Randy Orton. There's nothing you can't do."

He didn't know about that, but he felt a little smile on his lips. It seemed crazy that he was talking about this to Jeff, of all people. And that idiot was actually saying the right things.

"If I didn't think you two could work through this then I wouldn't have let you anywhere near her. Hunter and Steph wouldn't have, either, and I think Shane would have actually killed you."

"So I have the billion dollar stamp of approval?"

"You didn't hear that from me," Jeff chuckled.

Then there was a brief silence. He knew Jeff was gearing up to tell him something, and the headache intensified.

"Can I trust you to make sure she's alright?" Jeff asked.

"Yes."

"And can you trust me to do what needs to be done?"

"I can trust you to tell me when you're ready to do what needs to be done so I can join you."

He wasn't ready to compromise on that. He needed to get his hands on the bastard.

"We'll talk about that. But can you at least trust me when I say we need to leave this for now? Hunter's already suspecting it, but if I reveal where this man is and bad things happen, I'll be the prime suspect. There were over a dozen witnesses this morning, and I believe I made my intentions to kill him quite clear."

"If you reveal where he is…? _You know where he is_?"

"Yes. And I know _who_ he is. I'm hiring someone in the morning to keep track of him, just in case he moves, and to dig up some information for me," Jeff revealed.

Knew who the dick was… His heart started beating faster and his fist clenched. He could get his hands on one of the men who'd ruined Katrina's life. He could make her feel a bit better by knowing he was no longer capable of hurting her, or anybody else.

"But you need to keep that to yourself. And you need to let this blow over. That dick isn't going to get away. Do you understand?"

Jeff was right. This needed a lot of planning, no matter how much he wanted to go find the man and hurt him now. They needed to know everything about this prick. Then they had to make his worst nightmares come true.

"Yes."

"Alright. I'll be in touch," Jeff said. "Oh, and you need to call Hunter because I think he's ready to jack my phone. He doesn't believe you sent me a message. Just tell him Katrina's upset and you suspect it's because of all the stuff going 'round about her."

"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow."

"'Night."

When Jeff hung up he looked down at all the calls and messages he'd ignored all day. Most were from Hunter and John, but a few were from Cody and Ted, probably because he'd no-showed; and Adam, probably because he wanted the gossip straight from the horse's mouth.

He decided he couldn't handle another phone call now. And the food was getting cold. So he pulled up Hunter's last message and pressed reply.

_At a motel for the night. Katrina's upset, I couldn't leave her. I'm sorry about Masters_. _Will call in the morning._

No, he wasn't sorry. But if he wanted to keep his job he had to pretend to be contrite.

_Is she safe?_ The reply was instant, like the man had been watching his phone.

_Of course. I wouldn't let anything happen to her_.

_Good. Ask her to call me when she's up to it. Don't worry about Masters. I have to suspend you, though. Informally, of course. Just let me know when Kat is ready to come back on the road and I'll put you back on the cards._

So he wasn't in trouble, then. At least that was one weight off his shoulders. He loved his job and the last thing he wanted was to jeopardize it. He just had to make sure he told Ted and Cody what to do so at least Legacy had a shot of winning come Royal Rumble.

He started the car and drove five minutes down the road to the fancy motel. The first one they'd come to had looked like a bit of a dump and he'd refused to spend a night there. This one was nice and clean. It even smelt of fancy flowers and not a mixture of disinfectant and piss like the first one.

The door opened quietly, and when he peeked, Katrina seemed fast asleep on one of the beds. But the second the door closed behind him she shot out of her bed and was up against the back wall before he could even blink.

He put the food down on the table by the door slowly, his eyes not once leaving hers. He saw the struggle within her even in the dim light as she calmed herself down. He saw the confusion. He saw the fear. Then he let a breath out.

Sink or swim.

And he was slowly but surely sinking.

* * *

**AN/ So everybody knows something but nobody knows everything. **

**Thanks for reading guys. And thanks for the reviews of the last chapter. **

**Baybie.**


	41. Chapter 41

Randy took a fortifying breath before he opened the door. Katrina was sitting in the exact spot he'd left her when he'd gone to get some breakfast. It was actually more or less the same spot she'd been in the past six days.

Right in the middle of the bed with the TV remote on one side of her and a six pack on the other.

He put the bags of food down on the table and walked over to her.

She didn't look up but at least she didn't tense up either. She'd gone from jumping at every sound to not giving a fuck at all. No, that wasn't fair. She gave a fuck about her alcohol.

"We need to go to Missouri."

"You go. I'll catch up with you another time."

"We've been here six days."

"It's nice here."

"How would you know? You haven't looked out the window even once since we got here."

"Back off, Randy."

He sighed and sat on his bed with his elbows on his knees. He needed help, and the only place he knew he could get it was at home. She _had_ to come with him.

"Look, I'm worried about my mum," he lied. "She says she's fine but I can't trust my Dad not to do something to get back at her."

He'd expressed his fears about this over the Christmas break in a few of the messages he'd sent to her. But he spoke to his mum and siblings every day; he knew his father had been behaving himself.

Katrina finally looked up at him.

"Family is important. You should go," she said.

"I'm not leaving you."

"I'll be fine."

"I'm not leaving you," he repeated.

"I don't need a babysitter."

"I said I'm not leaving you."

"She's your mum. If there's even a chance that your father retaliates you need to be there," she said firmly.

"I'm. Not. Leaving. You."

Katrina rolled her eyes and slid off the bed. The damage the Divas had done had almost completely disappeared. Some of her bruises were still a slight yellowish colour while some had already disappeared. She hadn't allowed him close enough to inspect her ribs but she didn't wince when she moved anymore so that was a good sign.

"Fine. But I don't want to meet anyone."

"That's alright. You can just pick a room and vegetate the same way you've done here."

She glared at him as she walked past him to the bathroom but he just smirked back. She could get as pissed off with him as she wanted as long as they finally checked out of this place.

He pulled his laptop out of his bag and started looking for the earliest plane. He had no problem with Grand Island but he'd been recognised from the beginning, and a few fans had near enough camped outside or booked the remaining rooms of the motel. It was a good thing they were on the second floor of the Inn, because the last thing he wanted was to deal with fans at the windows. At least at his house they'd have some privacy.

Seven hours later, just past five o'clock, he was driving another rental slowly up his snowy driveway. It was completely dark and the security lights around his house were on. There was a snow storm predicted; he was glad he'd thought to bring her here before the weather had made it impossible.

"Nice place," Katrina said.

She'd hardly spoken at all during the flight or when they'd waited for a connecting flight from Dallas. It was worrying him. Though it seemed she was almost her old self, he knew it was only because she'd spent the last few days burying everything deep inside her. That wasn't healthy. He buried things all the time but none of it was as huge as this.

Had she spoken to a professional about her traumatic childhood? How did someone even begin to help her sift through all that shit and find a healthy balance? Physical abuse. Emotional abuse. Substance abuse. All sorts of abuse for one person to deal with. And judging by the summary he'd read at the back of the book, plus the few chapters he'd managed before he'd known Grace was Katrina, there had to be a myriad of other issues to handle – trust being a major one.

"Thanks," he said as he switched the engine off and turned slightly in his seat to face her.

"What?"

"I just... I've always wanted to bring you home with me. I never thought it would be under these circumstances."

"What circumstances?" she asked tightly.

"You hurting over... another man. And scared shitless of me."

"I'm not scared of you," she snapped.

He met her eyes briefly before he sighed and turned away to get out of the car. The past six days hadn't been a figment of his imagination, but it seemed Katrina was intent on ignoring them. Just like she seemed to ignore everything else about her life that she didn't like. He wasn't an expert, but he was pretty sure she had to face and accept her past before she could put it behind her.

_Pot. Kettle. Black_.

He ignored the voice. His situation was completely different. And he'd put his issues with his father behind him, there was no need to rehash everything. He was fine.

He met her at the front of the car and led her to the house, their feet sinking in the two or three inches of snow that had fallen recently.

"Home sweet home," he said as he let her in first.

He hadn't told anyone they were coming so noone had put the heating on.

"I'll get this place warm then give you a tour."

"I'm kinda tired right now. Maybe I'll just go lie down for a little bit."

"I was going to make us some dinner_"

"I want to lie down, Randy."

He bit his lip.

"Okay. I'll show you to your room."

* * *

The second Randy closed the bedroom door Katrina walked to the bed and sat down, completely drained.

This was a stupid idea. She was supposed to be getting rid of the guy, not staying over at his house. He'd seen her at the worst she had been in, in years; he should have high-tailed it days ago. Instead he was dogging her every move, making it impossible for her to process anything that had happened. She felt hurt. Betrayed. On edge. Depressed. And increasingly suicidal. Some of this must have shown through, because Randy had watched her like a hawk the whole time they'd been cooped up in the motel room. And in the nights, when the nightmares came, she'd woken up clinging to him more often than not. He'd made sure she was alright, and then gone back to his bed every single time.

He should have run.

Instead he'd brought her food and alcohol and pretty much babysat her. He hadn't pushed her to talk, though, so she was grateful.

But he'd seen all this shit now so she had to cut him out of her life. And that was hurting her more than anything. Even more than losing Jeff.

He had to be regretting telling her he loved her by now. 'Cause nothing screamed sexy like a hysterical woman who jumped at her own shadow and drank her weight in alcohol everyday. She was a far cry from the perfection he'd found in Maria. She'd told him many times but now he'd seen it for himself. She was a wreck. And alcoholic wreck.

It had taken her two or three days to realise George wasn't coming after her; that he hadn't followed them. That she was safe. But once she'd dealt with that fear she'd managed to slowly pull herself together. All she had to do from now on was to take Hunter's advice and avoid Illinois; then she would never break down like this again.

There was a soft knock on the door. For a moment she felt proud of herself for not jumping out of her skin until she thought about what that meant for her mental state. It was a simple knock; she shouldn't need to pat herself on the back for something so trivial.

"Come in," she called.

Randy stuck his head around first, like he was trying to gauge her reaction.

"I've brought your bag up," he said. "And some fresh towels."

"Thanks."

He put the bag right by the door and then walked into the adjoining bathroom with the towels.

"Do you need anything?" He asked as he walked out again.

"No, everything's fine. Thank you."

And it was. The room was as grand as the rooms Vince booked for her at the hotels; large and minimalistic with a luxurious cream carpet, white walls and bold red and black prints hung up to contrast. The bed was heavy, dark oakwood and looked vintage; with white bedding and a thick throw folded at the base - red and black to match the prints on the wall. Heavy pieces of furniture to match the bed were sparsely situated around the room. And best of all, the wall at the furthest end of the room was almost entirely glass - bay French windows, actually - with a comfortable looking overstuffed couch in front of them. It was dark now, but she imagined when the sun was out the view from there would make that the cosiest place in the room.

If she was planning to stay that long, that was.

"You really need to eat something, though."

"I will. After I rest a little."

"Okay. I guess I'll see you later, then."

Still he looked reluctant to leave. But he had to. She needed time alone to breathe.

"Bye," she said firmly.

Finally he nodded his head and turned away. The second he walked out she dropped herself backwards on the bed and closed her eyes.

Damn. How the fuck was she supposed to get out of this?

She needed a plan. Everyone had been trying to get in touch with her from the moment she'd left. She could only imagine the mess Jeff had made, but since they were calling and leaving messages she knew that at least nobody had been arrested. Yet. Whatever Jeff had done, Hunter had to know by now. All of them had to know.

Katrina was dead. And in her place...

She sighed as she reached into her pocket and pulled out the crumpled tissue paper. She rolled onto her stomach and looked down at it for a long moment, her heart breaking all over again. Then with shaky hands she unwrapped her stash.

Only a couple of pills left. And already she was thinking of raiding Randy's house for something stronger.

* * *

Jeff stopped chewing as he met The Cerebral Assassin's gaze across the restaurant. The lethal rage had morphed into something a lot scarier the past few days. He'd had to watch his back because there was no telling what Hunter would do to get the information he wanted.

The man didn't take his eyes off him a single time as he was led to a table or when he was handed a menu. It wasn't a coincidence. Of all the places Hunter could have gone to eat, he'd chosen this one, at this time because he was trying to intimidate him. As he had done all week. Scare tactics hadn't worked so Hunter was resorting to the mind games he was so good at. Trying to break him.

"Dude, this is getting serious. What the fuck did you do?" Shane asked.

He resumed chewing and looked down at his food.

They knew what he'd done. Everybody did. What they didn't know was why? He'd tried to avoid people as much as he could but since they basically lived in each other's pocket that was impossible. Especially since the video was all over the dirt sheets and had made a mess for the PR department. Vince wasn't happy.

Luckily all of them had seen it only after they'd left Ottawa. Hunter had flown back to see Kevin, of course, but the Head of Security had kept his word and remained silent. Everyone had their own version of what had really happened that night. Some versions claimed he'd been high and had just lost it. Others claimed he was just a dick and was looking for attention. And others thought it had all been scripted to generate the massive publicity it had already garnered for the WWE.

Only the Helmsleys and the McMahons knew what had really happened. And Shawn. Shawn had been an incredible pain. And that dude wasn't afraid to hurt him even in front of witnesses to make him talk. Absentmindedly, he rubbed his bruised jaw. One day he'd get Shawn back for that. But for now, silence was the key. And silence would be more important the next few days when Shane and Linda flew in, too.

"He beat up an old guy," Matt snapped.

And there was another source of his headaches.

He shook his head and put his fork down. So much for their promises that they wouldn't bring that up tonight.

"Oh, come on. Do you really think all this will go away if you don't talk about it? If you pretend it didn't happen?" Shane added.

He picked his napkin up and wiped his mouth. Yes, he'd really thought it would go away. He'd thought by now he'd be making headway with his plans for George, not hiding away like he was ashamed of what he'd done. This was yet another reason why he had to keep Katrina's family out of this. They'd beat George up a lot worse than he had, and destroy everything they had ever worked for in the process.

"And the disappearance of the delightful Katrina? We're supposed to believe that's just coincidence as well even though she's ignoring your calls?" Matt continued.

His heart squeezed.

"I have things to do. I'll see you later."

He got up quickly before they said anything else. At the entrance of the restaurant he risked a glance back at Hunter. The man was already counting some notes out even though he'd hardly touched his food. He'd have to move quickly. The private eye he'd hired would be here in a few minutes. He intended to have him safely locked in his room before all the eyes that had been following lately realised he'd switched rooms.

* * *

Jeff paced the back hallways of the arena. He was confused. With the information he had he was quite sure he should have been in a lot more trouble than he was in now. Probably even behind bars already. The fuck was going on here?

This wasn't an act of mercy. Bad things were coming, he was sure of it. Real bad things. Everyone would find out who he'd beaten up, questions would arise, answers would be found and Katrina... Her family would be right in the middle of it.

Kitty Kat. Would he get to speak to her before shit hit the fan?

He pulled his phone out and dialled her number again but as usual it went straight to voicemail.

"Kitty... C'mon, babe, answer your phone. I miss you."

He leaned against a wall and ran a hand through his hair. He'd already left countless messages apologising for betraying her trust. Randy claimed she read and listened to every message she got, but couldn't she tell he was in agony here? Couldn't she trust that he would never throw their friendship away because of her past?

"I... You've got to understand, there was no way I would have sat back and let him walk out of there. Not when I care about you so much. And you promised me, Kat. You said you'd always be my friend. You said I was special to you. Call me back, Kitty Kat. Please."

He hung up and sighed. Kitty was at Randy's house by now. If she'd agreed to that he could only hope that meant things were getting better between her and Randy.

He could admit to feeling jealous, but Hunter had been right. He couldn't complicate things for her by revealing his desires. Especially when he knew without a doubt that she had no romantic feelings for him, and that she was completely in love with Randy.

He slowly started making his way to the locker room. There was no rush; he wasn't on until the main event. Against Hunter of all people.

He ignored the looks and whispering, kept his head down with his hood up. He was about to put his iPod earphones in when some lowered voices around the corner stopped him.

"Are you sure? I mean, we all saw the videos. I'm pretty sure that was your uncle."

"Give it a rest Brie. Do you really think I'd let that psycho get away with beating up my family, after everything he and that whore put me through?"

"I suppose not. But he looked so similar. And he was wearing the same clothes_"

"A stupid coincidence. I don't want a word of this repeated; do you hear me? That man wasn't my uncle."

He frowned. Interesting. What was Maria playing at?

"If you say so."

"I do. Now go and tell your sister. We wouldn't want her spreading the wrong shit when Steph is watching our every move."

"You're right. For some reason I feel like she's just waiting for us to mess up. I'll tell Nikki, and Eve, too. We need to behave. Good thinking Maria."

He really doubted that the explanation for her keeping this secret was that simple. Maria was up to something.

Slowly he turned the corner and then frowned again. Maria was sitting in front of the mirror at the make-up area with her eyes closed, elbows on the table on front of her and her head resting on her hands. Completely lost in her own world. And sad?

She certainly didn't look like somebody about to spring some nasty shit on everyone.

"What the hell are you up to?"

Maria straightened immediately and glared at him.

"Go away Jeffrey."

"Are you trying to lure me into a false sense of security?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Maria said as she started getting her things together.

"Yes you do. Why haven't you told anyone yet?"

"There's nothing to tell," Maria snapped as she stood up.

"Or maybe I should ask why you're protecting him."

"I'm not protecting anybody."

His eyes narrowed as he studied her. She was nervous. Maybe he'd hit the right nerve.

"All this time has passed since that happened, and you never came up to me to ask why I did it," he mused. "Maybe the better question is _who_ are you protecting?"

Maria stopped for a moment and briefly met his gaze. Was that fear in her eyes?

"I know you're not protecting me," he continued.

Maria snorted and looked away.

"And if you wanted to protect that waste of sperm, I'd be in jail by now."

She picked her bag up and slung it over her shoulder.

"It doesn't bother you that I hurt him, does it?" he guessed.

Maria turned and started walking away.

"Or it does but you're scared of the questions that will come up if all of this comes out?"

He fell in step with her, his brow furrowed as he tried to process all the things whirling around in his head.

"Why didn't you ask me what he'd done, Maria? You already know, don't you?"

Maria stopped and looked at him, confusion clear in her eyes. She didn't know what her uncle had done. Therefore she couldn't know what sort of things would turn up about him if people started digging.

"You don't care what he did. And you don't care that I beat him up," he guessed again.

Something sparked in her eyes before she turned away from him again. It made him think he was right.

He followed, his brow furrowed again.

"You wanted him to get hurt."

At this, Maria turned around and her eyes blazed angrily at him.

"Shut up. I don't know that man. If I did, I'd be making your life a misery right now. Do we understand each other?"

It wasn't just anger in her eyes. He could also see a silent plea.

"I think we do," he said with a nod.

Maria was turning away but he put his hand on her arm to stop her. She eyed his hand like it was a disease but he didn't move it.

"If you knew that I could find that man, and I could hurt him, would you stop me?"

"That's nothing to do with me," Maria said. "Do whatever the hell you want to him."

Then she shook his hand off and walked away.

And everything made a lot more sense.

* * *

**Hope everyone is having a Happy Holiday, and that you'll be safe as you celebrate the New Year. **

**Thank you for reading. And thank you **_RKOlover4life, Bingobaby, Kris21xX, dashinginconverse, see-me-clarely, Agnesita1385, Orton Addict, Randy4rkocenahardy, xSamiliciousx, tophersmommy06, I am M.J, LegacyChick, Peep4Christian, Enigmatic Lotus Leaf, ConchaaRex, brittandjocelyn, TheQueenV, ILoveAnime89, sugarbunnyrabbit, msgemgem, madisonreneekay, sailormama, and guests_** for reviewing. I wasn't sure when the last time I managed to thank you all by name so I went back the past ten or so chapters and re-read all your kind words.** **Love you and appreciate you all.**

**Baybie.**


	42. Chapter 42

**I've sat on the next couple of chapters for weeks because I couldn't get past the editing and proofreading stage. I've opened the documents and then fallen asleep without reading a word. Stupid health issues. **

**Also, I couldn't quite get this chapter right so I left it and moved on to the juicier bits. It's quite possible I fell asleep because it bored me. **

**I'll try to get the next chapter proofread tonight as well but if not, expect it real soon. **

**Oh, and in the real world, Steph would never get away with this without getting sued for a lot of her billions but hey, it's fiction.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

In just a week Steph had reduced the six Divas to nothing more than backstage hands. They had no screen time, no ring time and their WWE related media commitments for the next couple of months or so had all fallen through. She'd also had their merchandise pulled for various 'faults'. For a woman in this business, especially the ones only just starting like the Bellas, a prolonged absence was disastrous to their careers. For a woman tied indefinitely to her contract, the consequences were infinitely worse. There was no way out.

They'd feel the sting of their reduced earnings in their next pay check. Then they'd start to question. But they couldn't quit. If they did, according to their new contracts, they had to pay back a lot of money for not fulfilling their obligations. The contracts were airtight; no court in the world could touch them. But even if the divas eventually thought to take it that far, she didn't need very long to teach them a lesson. This would be over real soon.  
Maria wouldn't suffer much from less money, though. And it was Maria who needed to suffer the most.

She looked at the Diva as she sat by herself in the room that would later be set up for Catering, probably contemplating another matchless night. It was early, but the six divas had taken to coming as early as they could in the hopes of catching anybody's eye who could give them some air time. For the past couple of days, while she'd been dealing with all the people calling about Jeff's action's, that person was her.

She plastered a smile on her face and walked towards her.

"Hi, Maria," she said as she got a bottle of water from the coolers.

"Oh, hi Stephanie."

"You're looking very glum. That woman hasn't come back, has she?"

"She wouldn't dare. Would you show your face again if somebody exposed a past like that?"

"I suppose I wouldn't. I've been wondering how you knew, though. I've been thinking of tightening security around here so something like this doesn't happen again. I want to figure out how we missed it."

"Somebody I met backstage told me," Maria shrugged.

"Someone who works here?"

"No. He was just passing through."

She didn't miss the way Maria tensed, just a little. Years of learning to read Katrina had made her sensitive to any nuance of reaction.

"Oh, so you don't know him?"

"No," Maria said quickly.

A lie.

"That's a shame. Anyway, I was wondering if you could help with the hairdressing tonight. There's just so much to do today I forgot to hire a temporary replacement for Tessa. She's caught some bug or something and I told her to take a couple of days off."

Paid, of course.

"Hairdressing?" Maria asked with a disgusted look.

"If it's a problem I could always ask somebody more willing to help."

"No, of course it's not a problem," Maria said quickly. "I'm happy to help you any way I can."

She plastered another fake smile on her lips before she walked away.

Shane would be at the hotel by now. She'd have loved nothing better than to set him loose on Maria, but she didn't want to scare the Diva off.

Besides, she still hadn't found a way to tell Hunter yet. She didn't want to get anybody's hopes up when there was a slight chance that she could be wrong. Her gut told her she was right, but she needed concrete proof that Maria knew the man who'd assaulted Katrina.

Because her family wouldn't even think twice about ripping Maria limb from limb until she gave them a name.

* * *

Jeff paced the length of his room with a cigarette in one hand and a double shot of whiskey in the other.

It was his first drink but he couldn't remember how many smokes he'd had. None of it had calmed his nerves, though.

The French doors were open to allow the fresh air in and beyond them, the ocean glistened and the beautiful Miami day mocked him. Before all this shit he and Katrina would probably have stolen an hour or so on the beach after the brutal cold in Illinois.  
But now he was waiting for the dice to fall.

He was going to jail or Shane was going to kill him. Either way, shit was going to hit the fan today. Not just a little bit. Shit was going to rain _so_ hard, like a shit storm all over his life.

And hopefully, after he survived all that, George would finally go down.

There was a knock on the door. He paused for a second. Maybe he should have run, considering how high emotions were running around here. But the assault thing would go away quicker under the protective blanket of the WWE, even if that was the reason it had gone viral. And the quicker that happened the quicker he could deal with the paedophile.

The knock came again. He put his smoke out and the drink down then walked to the peephole.

"The fuck!"

He opened the door and frowned at his visitors.

"Now's not a good time," he said.

"Because the cops are downstairs?" Matt asked as he pushed his way in.

"You need to get a lawyer," Shane said as he followed.

"Downstairs?"

"Yes," John said as he walked in, too.

Vince's legal department had successfully shielded him since the videos had gone viral. He'd known he had to go in for questioning and make a statement of some sort. People got beat up everyday, but because he was who he was... Even if George didn't come forward to press charges, he was coming out of this with a record of some sort.

He just hadn't expected them to come for him before Shane had taken his pound of flesh.

"And you've all come to watch me get arrested?" he asked dryly as he shut the door.

"We've come for you to tell us what the hell is going on," Matt said. "Maybe we can help."

"I beat up an old, defenceless man. Not much you can do to help," he shrugged.

He picked his drink up and drained the rest of the whiskey before re-lighting his smoke.

"Come on, you need to talk to us," John said. "I was there; they'll need a statement from me."

Possibly. He'd already told Kevin that if it came to that he had to tell the truth. He didn't want him to lose his job when all he had tried to do was help.

"Just tell them what happened."

The three of them looked at him for a minute. They weren't pleased. He'd seen that look plenty of times on Matt's face - his brother was gearing up to make him talk.

With a shake of his head he walked to lean against the frame of the balcony doors and looked out at the ocean.

"We know it's about Katrina," Matt said. "We want to help."

He didn't turn back to look at them. That wasn't his story to tell.

"Look, I know you beat that man up because he hurt Katrina," John said.

John had been piecing it together all week. With Hunter on his case about it there was no way he wouldn't have guessed that.

"Is he the one who raped Katrina?"

He turned around quickly to face John.

"What?!" Matt and Helms faced him too.

"Shut up," he growled.

"She was raped?" Matt asked, suddenly very still.

His brother was angry. And somebody was going to get hurt if they didn't tell him the whole story. That somebody was probably going to be him.

"You say one word and I'll hurt you," he threatened.

Cena folded his arms, not even affected by his promise.

"At first I couldn't figure out why she was pushing Randy away when she obviously wanted to be with him. Or why she was so cold until she had a few drinks in her," he continued. "Couldn't figure out why she was scared of me after the fight, and when I drove you to Ottawa. Then you and Randy said all that stuff in the car that got me thinking. And then the stuff she said to you when she tried to stop you from going back downstairs got me thinking, too. But for some reason it didn't really click until after - when Randy dropped everything he's worked so hard for to follow her. And with Hunter on me every second to tell him exactly what happened_"

"I said stop," he hissed, moving forward so he was face to face with Cena.

"She was raped," John snarled, stepping forward too. "And you know who did it."

"You were there. You know he didn't tell me his name."

"Oh, I know. But I know you found out. Hunter wouldn't be getting ready to kill you if you didn't know."

He held the hard blue gaze for a minute before he looked away and pulled his cigarettes out.

"Who is he, Jeffrey?" Helms asked.

His friend only used his full name when he was angry.

"Why are you protecting him?" Matt asked.

"It's not him I'm protecting."

"Who is he?" Helms repeated.

He took out another cigarette and lit it, ignoring the question. If the cops were on their way he wasn't about to spill. Matt would tell them anything to try and get him out of trouble. And he'd tell Katrina's family, too.

"You know, there's a rumour going around that you beat up Maria's uncle," Matt said.

He tensed and met his brother's gaze. That was already circulating? Shit.

"I didn't beat up Maria's uncle."

"You know how easy it would be to find out, right?" Helms asked.

"Ask Maria," he shrugged. "Be my guest."

Maria wouldn't say anything.

"We could. But I'll ask Randy instead. I bet he'll flip his shit and catch the next flight to Ottawa," John said.

And that was a very real possibility. The only thing stopping Randy now was he didn't have a clue of the man's identity.

"You'd let your friend attack innocent people?"

"No, not innocent people. Only one man. See, I hadn't heard this rumour. And now everything makes sense," John said.

Oh, hell.

"When we were waiting for the elevator the man you beat up came out with Maria and her friends. Kat got scared and ran away but I thought she was scared of Maria."

"John, this has nothing to do with you," he said.

He was aware he sounded a little desperate. John smirked, obviously because he knew he was on the right path.

"But this is the woman who went after Eve and Maria by herself in the bathroom," John continued, as if he hadn't interrupted him, "and according to Dolph, attacked six of them without even blinking. She's not scared of Maria. She's scared of men. And that man was the only one in there. I only have to direct Randy to the video and, if it's Maria's uncle, that dude is dead."

Fuck.

"You need to keep that to yourself," he said. "You don't know everything, and if you tell people that, bad things will happen."

"Maria's uncle raped Katrina and you want us to sit on that information like you're doing?" Matt asked incredulously.

"I'm not sitting on it," he snapped. "Even if I told the cops, Katrina's never going to admit it and that dick will walk free."

He knew he'd just admitted that Katrina had been raped and confirmed the bastard's identity in that one sentence but he was running out of time. These men had to swear their silence before the police knocked on his door.

"How exactly are you not sitting on it?" Helms asked.

"Okay, fine. I'm going to tell you something but you have to swear it won't leave this room."

The three men nodded. With a sigh he walked back into the room and poured himself another double shot.

"Yes, that man abused Katrina and yes, I know who he is. Kitty is...she's fragile. I'd kill that dick first before I let her close enough to him to testify. But I know it wouldn't get that far because this is something she's not ready to talk about. She'll deny everything. And her family knows that, too. If they find him..."

He didn't spell it out for them. He took his drink to the coffee table and sat down so the others could have the chairs.

"I think he deserves everything that's coming to him," Matt said as he sat down. "Tell them."

"Oh, he'll get what's coming to him. I'd just rather not have Katrina's family deal out the justice. They're all she's got; I don't want to be responsible for ruining her family."

"If you talk to them_" Matt started.

"They're not coming here to talk," he snorted. "Besides, Kitty will never ever speak to me again if I make this situation worse. I won't...I _can't_ let that happen. I have to make this right without hurting her more than I've already done."

"I knew it. You're in love with her, aren't you?" Matt asked.

He looked away from his brother.

"That doesn't matter."

"No, it doesn't. What matters is what the hell you're going to do to this guy," Helms said.

"I wish I could gut the son of a bitch. I wish I could snap his thick neck, but I'd be the main suspect. I'm going to get him, but I can't tell you what I'm going to do."

"What I want to know is why Maria hasn't said anything?" John mused. "She hates your guts and you've assaulted her uncle."

He frowned. He really didn't like John's little insightful moments.

"This is all I'm willing to say," he said firmly. "I'm going to take care of this dick, but you need to let me."

"Why are you waiting?" Matt asked.

"If the police are here for me, I can't really do anything right now, can I?"

The three of them looked at each other then back at him. He narrowed his eyes.

"The cops aren't here, are they?"

"We had to say something that would make you talk," Matt said. "I've been worried about you."

"And I told you to stay out of this," he snapped. "Dammit, Matty! Nobody's supposed to know all this. Kitty's never going to come back if she knows her secret is out."

"I have another question," John interrupted. "How old was she?"

He tensed and looked at John.

"What?"

"How old was Katrina when that sick bastard raped her?" John hissed.

Why would he ask that question? Had he heard something?

"Why?"

"Because it's something that's been bothering me."

"Just out of the blue, something like that occurred to you?"

"All this talk going around, Hunter's threats and Randy's behaviour have had me thinking. Answer the damn question."

He looked at the three of them in turn again as he took a mouthful of his whiskey. The liquid burnt its way down his throat, making his grimace as he racked his head for something to say. It was one thing to reveal Kitty Kat had been raped, though that was horrendous enough. It was quite another to tell them she'd only been nine when it had started.

"She tried to kill herself before," Matt frowned.

"What?!" Helms and John asked, sitting up straight in their chairs as they looked at Matt with a mixture of shock and horror on their faces.

And then turned to him for confirmation. He kept his mouth closed. Damned if he was going to help them put it all together.

"Thing is, those scars are old," Matt continued. "She told me they are from a very long time ago. How long ago, Jeff? After the rape? Did she try to kill herself because she was raped when she was just a little girl?"

He turned away from the sharp gazes and stood up.

"Ya'll need to go. Shane McMahon is on his way," he said as he walked to the kitchen area with his empty glass.

"Oh, no. You're not pushing me out if this that easily," Matt said as he stood up and followed. "You're caught up in something that might get you into trouble. I'm staying."

"I don't need you to play big brother_"

A knock cut him off. A loud, angry knock.

"Fuck!"

He looked at the door for a second before looking at his angry friends.

The knock came again and this time he heard, "Open the fucking door, Hardy."

Cena and Helms stood up and came towards him, too, flanking him. Matt held his place in front of him and had a look on his face told him the game was over. Matt was going to try to fix this for him, the same way he had tried to fix all his problems his whole life.

"Katrina won't like that you know anything at all," he said urgently.

"She doesn't have to like it," John shrugged.

"What do you think will happen if you tell them? They'll do something stupid and all of us will be fucked. We'll have to join the unemployment line," he tried again.

"You're being over dramatic," Helms said. "A bad guy did bad things and needs to be put down. End of story."

John turned to get the door.

"Wait! Katrina's hurting right now. She's scared. Randy couldn't even get close to her all week without her backing away from him. He's hardly slept because he thinks she's just going to bolt," he said, walking forward to block John. "If you do this, it's not just the McMahon's you'll destroy; it's the girl who's already lost so much."

He saw the determined look in John's eyes waver.

"I know none of you know her like I do but you're good people and that's why you're trying to get involved," he said softly, ignoring the banging on the door. "But she's broken, and if she's ever going to get past this we need to handle it differently."

The men looked at each other and then at the door with it's now continuous banging.

"I'm in love with her. Randy's in love with her. Do you really think we're just going to let the guy go after all the sick shit he's done to her?"

"Randy knows?" John asked.

"He knows everything."

After a few moments John nodded his head.

"Ok. I've got your back," he said.

"As long as you know what you're doing," Matt added.

"I really doubt that, but we'll see how this goes," Helms said.

"Thank you," he said with a breath of relief.

"I'll get the door. You stand as far away as you can," John instructed.

He didn't think it mattered where he stood; Shane was probably going to attack the second the door opened. But he did as he was told and walked back to the kitchen area. It was show time.

Shane O'Mac didn't even let the sight of other people slow him down the way it had slowed Hunter. The second the door opened a crack he pushed it forward and came for him.

"Who is he?" O'Mac asked as he tried to get past the wall Matt and Helms had made. "Who's that sick bastard?"

He looked like he hadn't slept in a while and his normally slick, billionaire appearance was gone. He looked like a desperate man. Matt and Helms weren't going to hold him back for long.

John still stood by the door, sizing the rest of the visitors up as he let them in. Hunter, Shawn, Vince, Steph and Linda. None of them were smiling. And he knew things were about to get ugly.

"Calm down, Shane. We can talk about this without all this drama," he said as he stayed behind Matt and Helms.

"Give me what I want, then," Shane growled.

"And then what? I'm all over the internet making threats. If anything happens to that guy guess who's going to prison? It won't be long until all of you are caught in it, too"

"Oh, credit us with some intelligence, will you?" Shawn said. "What do you think we'll do?"

He looked from Shawn to Shane then back again.

"Do you really want me to answer that question?"

"Death is too good for that piece of shit," Shane spat out. "He's going to pay very dearly for what he did. By the time I'm done he'll be begging_"

"Shane will behave himself," Vince cut in. "He knows what's at stake."

"We all do," Linda said.

"All we want is a name," Steph said. "But even if you don't give it to us, you know we'll find it. We have people looking into it right now; it's only a matter of time."

"I'll find that dick wart even though you somehow got the hotel security to cover up for you," Hunter growled. "The videos are there to prove it - you right outside with two of their security guys holding you back, but they're saying they didn't see anything? Bullshit."

"I bet if I threw a lot of money at them they'd open their mouths," Shane said.

Possibly.

"If I tell you anything, I'd be getting them into trouble, too."

"We know that! We know how we have to handle this," Shawn said. "Just give us a name."

"I can make this go away. I can get the videos taken down. The police have been in touch. They're sending someone to get your statement. I can get legal on this so it doesn't go further than that," Vince said.

"You'll do it anyway, because you don't _want_ it to go further than that. I bet you've already done that, otherwise I'd be in jail by now," he guessed. "My guess is, even if they took me in and found this guy he'll be the first to tell them to let me go. He doesn't want anything to do with the police, either."

"Damn it, Hardy!" Shane said, running a hand over his a tired looking face. "We got a lot of those bastards, but you can help us get the ones who got away."

What? They'd got some of them? Which ones? _How?_ Had it been messy? Was that why Kitty didn't want them going after George?

"What do you mean a _lot_ of those bastards?" Matt asked.

And with those words he knew he was fucked.

Gasoline. Match. Kaboom.

Matt and Helms - his only line of defence from Shane - turned around to face him, and John came forward to stand with them. It looked like the unsteady truce they had called was coming to an abrupt end.

"Talk," John growled.

"No."

The three of them looked at him for a moment. Then they stepped away. They left him wide open.

"Thanks for having my back," he snapped before looking at Shane.

"See what your big mouth has done?" he hissed as the man came forward and brought his face a mere inch from his. "Katrina will hate you for this."

"She'll never hate me. Talk."

He looked at the people who stood close behind Shane. People with all the money in the world at their disposal to deal with George as they pleased. People who'd apparently done it before. This was a game changer.

"What did you do to the others?"

"They're rotting in their prison cells being fucked in the ass for all eternity," Shane snarled.

"What will you do to this one?"

"That stopped being your business the second you kept this from me," Hunter snapped.

He looked at them again. He still wasn't sure he could trust them but he knew he had to give them something to get them off his dick.

"What if I told you I found a way to get him without involving Katrina?"

Shane's eyes narrowed, and then he stepped back slightly.

"We're listening," he said.

* * *

**Thank you for taking time to read this. Love you guys.**


	43. Chapter 43

Katrina woke up with the sun casting its dreadful light on everything. She'd been wrong to think the room would look beautiful in the day. It was fucking blinding her. And her head was pounding.

She rolled over to bury her head in her pillow and knocked something down in the process. With a frown she gingerly lifted her head to take a look.

An empty whiskey bottle. Surprise, surprise.

She remembered going downstairs when she had woken up from her nap to find the house quiet. She'd been starving and had only meant to get some food. But she'd stumbled on the liquor cabinet instead. One thing had led to another, and she had passed out, fully clothed on top of Randy's showcase guest bed. For the first time in a while she had not dreamt of anything.

But the alcohol had also made her forget to draw the stupid blinds.

God knew what time it was but she wasn't ready to get up yet.

There was a knock on the door and she groaned into the pillow. The fuck did Randy want so early in the morning anyway?

She didn't answer but she heard the door open anyway.

"What?" she asked.

"Just thought I'd check on you. You never came down to eat last night."

"Thought you said I could just pick a room and vegetate."

"Yeah, but I didn't mean starve yourself. You've been up here all day. I can't let you go to sleep on an empty stomach again."

She lifted her head and turned it slightly to squint at Randy standing by the door. He looked gorgeous as always in his blue jeans and plain white t-shirt. He could have walked straight out of the cover of a magazine while she... Well, she knew she looked a mess but dude had seen her looking a lot worse the past few days. And it didn't matter now anyway. Nothing mattered.

"When you say all day you mean..."

"You've slept the day away. I'm giving you twenty minutes to do what you need to do then come downstairs or I'm coming back up to haul you out of here myself."

She didn't doubt that he would. But damned if she could get out of bed now.

"Go away. And close the fucking blinds on your way out, the sun's killing my eyes."

"The sun hardly came out today; we're in the middle of a snow storm."

Really?

She lifted her head again and saw that it wasn't the sun but the ceiling lights that were glaring down at her. Then she turned slightly to the windows. Thick snowflakes were smashing and swirling against them and she could hardly see the turmoil beyond them. She could hear it though. Well, at least it wasn't her head doing all that crashing and banging because that would have completely sucked.

"Switch the light off on your way out," she said before she buried her head again.

She felt rather than saw him standing over her. Then she heard him pick up something on the floor and swear. Obviously the whiskey bottle had displeased him. Whatever. If he had a problem with that he should have left her at the motel.

"Get up."

"What?"

"Get the fuck up."

She lifted her head up and saw the bottle in his hand. His eyes looked murderous as he stared down at her.

"Fuck off."

She'd only just put her head back down when she was roughly pulled up and off the bed.

"Let go of me," she shouted, struggling against his iron grip as she was carried towards the bathroom.

"Put me down, Randy."

The last time she'd been man-handled like this had been... Well, it had been before she'd erased all traces of Grace. But surprisingly, even though Randy was really angry she wasn't afraid of him.

"I'm not playing games with you. Put me the fuck down."

The thick arms that had circled around her finally released her unceremoniously in the shower, against the cool tiles at the back. She turned around and met the Viper's gaze head on.

"I'm done playing games with you, too, Katrina," Randy growled.

"Then back off."

"No. Because I'm also done pretending that you're alright," Randy snarled. "Now take a fucking shower and meet me downstairs. You've now got ten minutes."

She folded her arms and leaned back against the wall, holding his gaze the entire time. Who the hell did he think he was to push her around like this? Noone asked him to pretend anything.

His head cocked to the side and his eyes narrowed. His anger was almost tangible; she could almost taste it. She should have been terrified but she found herself getting angry instead.

And anger felt a hell of a lot better than everything else she'd been feeling lately.

"Where the hell do you get off telling me what the fuck to do? I'll shower when I want to shower. I'll sleep all day, every fucking day if I want to. Hell, I could drink a while liquor store and you still wouldn't have any right to say shit to me."

Randy's expression didn't change. It looked like nothing she'd said had got through to him.

Instead he reached in and pressed a button. A spray of freezing water hit her like tiny needles, and the shock instantly sobered her up.

"The fuck's wrong with you!" she spluttered, wiping the water off her face as she tried to get out of the shower.

But Randy had the nerve to push her back under the spray, and then block her in with his arms on either side of her. It didn't seem to bother him that he was getting wet, too. And he was still looking at her angrily, like he was the wronged one.

"You want me to take a shower? Fine. I'll fucking shower," she growled, reaching down to the hem of her t-shirt.

She whipped it over her head and threw it in the corner of the shower, ignoring the chattering of her teeth as the water hit her naked skin. Then she undid her Jeans and gave them the same treatment. Randy didn't look away, didn't even move. He didn't look any lower than her eyes, either, even though she only had her flimsy panties and bra on.  
She was quickly turning into an icicle, and she knew he could see that. It was kind of hard to ignore the goosebumps on her goosebumps, or her hardened nipples sticking out under the now translucent white bra, but she'd be damned if she was going to beg him to let her out.

"You feeling proud of yourself, Randy? Does this make you feel like a man?" she sneered.

A muscle in his jaw jumped and she smirked. He wasn't as unaffected as he was pretending to be.

She took a step forward to close the gap between their bodies. This time she felt him tense.

"Do you remember the first argument we had? How angry you were with me?"

Randy moved a step back but she pulled him back against her before he could escape. Because she knew that's what he wanted to do. Their first argument had resulted in angry sex in the shower and had been one of the most powerful experiences in her life. She'd reduced him to a hot, mindless mess, and for the rest of that week he'd bent over backwards trying to please her. That was when she's realised just how much control she'd had, despite how hard he'd tried to pretend otherwise.

"What's the matter, Randy?" she asked with a smile as her hands snaked around his neck.

"Don't push me," Randy growled as he reached behind her to press another button.

The water warmed up and she would have kissed him in gratitude right there if her pride had let her.

"I'm not pushing anything. You started this, so finish it."

Oh, the water felt good. Randy's hard body against hers felt even better. It had been too long since her body had stirred like this. Since Randy had made love to her. Maybe that was what she needed; one more night with the delectable Mr. Orton before she walked out of his life for good.

Without another thought she jumped up onto him and wrapped her legs around his waist, locking her feet behind him. She could feel the hard length of him between her legs and it sent a shot of heat through her system.

"Finish it," she repeated against his ear.

Her arms tightened around him as she brought her lips to his ear, biting it gently as she pressed her chest against his. Her nipples were already sensitised by the lace of her bra and the feel of the hard ridges of his chest under his wet t-shirt. Which was completely see-through now. She took a moment to look down between their bodies to admire the chiselled physic before bringing her lips down against his neck.

How had she gone so long without this?

"It _is_ finished," Randy said firmly.

She paused with a frown and lifted her head up to meet his gaze. He was still angry, still looking at her coldly. Like nothing she had done had affected him. Like she could have done better dry humping a rock. His arms were hanging down his sides instead of holding onto her like they normally would have done. Then when they moved it was only to unlock her feet from behind him.

Randy put her down without breaking eye contact.

"Five minutes," he growled, then he turned away from her and walked out of the bathroom.

The rejection stung like a bitch.

She bit her bottom lip to stop herself from crying as she slid down the tiles to sit under the warm spray.

Of course he didn't want her. With everything he'd seen of her lately, it was to be expected. In fact, she _had_ expected it.

Randy watching out for her like this was just another act of pity. She had no idea why she had thought any different. And if he pitied her now when he didn't even know the whole story, how bad would it get if he ever found out?

It was better this way. It was better that he'd stopped her before she'd made a bigger ass of herself. It was better that he'd made it easier for her to walk away.

* * *

Randy was kicking himself as he set the last fork down at the table.

For the longest time since she left him all he'd wanted was to be with her again. Then to have her throw herself at him, practically beg him to fuck her like that... He'd wanted, with all that he was, to give them both what they wanted. But the thought of everything she had been through had held him back. She didn't really want it. She was just trying to use sex like a crutch, like the alcohol.

And of course, he couldn't touch her because there was a whole bottle of his finest whiskey in her system.

When he made love to her again he didn't want either of them to have any regrets. And for that to happen, they had to address the giant elephant in the room. It was for her sake as well as his.

The lights flickered and brought him out of his thoughts. The storm had been raging since late morning, there was probably going to be a power cut before long. But he had a generator, so they wouldn't suffer if that happened.

He checked his watch. It had been twenty minutes since he'd left her up there. He'd give her ten more before he went up to haul her down as he'd threatened. She wasn't going to put him off anymore; tonight he'd make her tell him everything.

And if she didn't he was going to grab the book and find everything out for himself.

Screw whatever Jeff said. If she ran from him he'd find her. Simple as that.

His phone rang and he sighed as he pulled it out of his pocket. For the past week Katrina's family had been calling him everyday. He saw Shane's name on the screen and paused a little. For some reason the little...um..._talk_ he and Shawn had had with him at the Christmas party replayed in his head. But he could see now that they were right to worry about Katrina.

"Is she okay?" Shane asked as soon as he answered.

"She's fine."

That was a lie but the last thing he wanted was for any of them to come knocking on his door before he and Katrina had sorted some things out.

"Can I speak to her?"

"She's taking a shower right now. I'll tell her to call_"

"You know she's not going to call back. Where are you?"

"Can't tell you that, Shane. I'm sorry."

"Look, I need to know that she's okay. I need to see it for myself."

"I'll send you a picture_"

"Don't be a smart ass."

He sighed and sat down on one of the chairs at the dinner table.

"Look, I know you're all worried about her. But you have my word, I'm not going to let anything happen to her," he said.

"She fragile_"

"I know. I know exactly how fragile she is. I won't hurt her. And I'm never going to let anyone hurt her again, either."

There was silence after he said this.

"You know," Shane said finally.

"I do."

"And you're still there."

"I am."

There was another lengthy silence.

"Tell her I love her."

"I will."

"And send the picture."

When he put his phone back into his pocket, Katrina was standing uncertainly in the doorway. He ignored the sharp longing that hit him again at the sight of her.

"Just in time. The food is ready," he said as he stood up. "I hope you like grilled chicken."

Her short hair was still slightly damp and it looked like she hadn't even brushed it. He had become rather fond of her short her now. He could admit now that the length of her hair didn't take anything away from her beauty. That and her clothes. While he'd dressed for dinner – a black button down shirt and black slacks - Katrina had chosen to wear a pair of faded blue jeans and thick, dark socks, and a Hardy tee that was so huge on her that it had to belong to Jeff. He'd have to see about making those disappear and giving her some of his t-shirts to replace them.

"Please have a seat," he said as he pulled a chair out.

She looked uneasy as she walked towards him. But she had nothing to worry about, at least until she'd had some food down her.

He'd set their places opposite each other at the top of the long dinner table so he could see her face while they ate. When she sat, he picked up a jug of water and started pouring for her.

"Water?"

"I have juice, if you prefer."

"Wine, please."

"I'm fresh out."

He met the fierce silvery gaze. Tense and uneasy, yet still she wasn't afraid to show him she wasn't pleased with him for that.

"You have a whole cabinet full."

"It all met an unfortunate end."

"I can go out and get some."

"It's terrible out there. You won't get past the driveway," he said as he put the water down. "But good luck with that."

He walked into the kitchen and took the soup he'd already dished out of the warmer. Thankfully Katrina was still sitting down when he put her bowl in front of her. And she was bristling!

Tough. He was going to fix this, whether she liked it or not.

"Starters," he said as he sat down. "I had a lot of time on my hands today, so I've done three courses. Dig in."

Katrina devoured her soup faster than he'd ever seen any woman eat. When she put her spoon down he still had half of his soup left.

"That was very nice. Thank you," Katrina said as she wiped her mouth.

He smiled and put his spoon down, too.

"You're welcome," he said, and he stood up and took their plates.

He wasn't that hungry anyway. Besides, he needed to dish out a bigger portion of the main course onto her plate, because obviously Maria sized portions weren't going to cut it.

When he brought their meals out, she didn't even hesitate. She attacked her food with as much gusto as she had the starter. It was quite fascinating to watch, really. Such a tiny mouth...but the size of the forkfuls being dumped into it, damn! Maria would never have done that.

"What?" Katrina asked between mouthfuls.

"I've just realised I really like it that you enjoy your food."

She looked down at her food and he realised he'd made her self-conscious.

"No, I mean it. It means I get to enjoy my food more without somebody eying it up enviously," he chuckled. "And I bet you wouldn't even bat an eyelid if I wanted seconds."

"As long as you don't bat yours. I'm starving," Katrina said as she started eating again.

"I'm not surprised. The last thing you ate was a McDonalds breakfast yesterday."

He continued with the light conversation as they ate and noticed her relaxing a little bit. Maybe she'd thought he'd bring up what had happened upstairs. But that wasn't dinner table conversation. His mother had taught him better than that.

By the time he'd brought out the desert he'd even managed to make her laugh a couple of times. He'd heard her laughing with Jeff and even John a few times and had thought it was beautiful, but knowing what she'd been through...it somehow made the sound a lot more heart-warming.

"There's a fire going in the sitting room. You can go chill out in there while I put all this in the dishwasher."

"Oh, I'll do that. You cooked, so it's only fair," Katrina said as she stood up.

Maria would never have offered to wash up. He didn't want to compare but he couldn't understand how something so small could make such a difference. How so many small things could make him want to overlook the big ones. She had so many problems to deal with, things that should have made him run the other way; but instead he wanted to stay and help her through them.

Of all the things he had discovered about love lately, the biggest was that it made people certifiably insane.

"Thanks," he smiled as he carried the last of the dishes into the kitchen. "There isn't much here, only the stuff we've just used at the table. I'll go pick a movie or something, put my feet up and wait for you to finish your womanly duties."

He ducked to avoid the dish towel that she threw at him and chuckled as he left her to it. That had been a pleasant experience. Maybe she'd be comfortable enough to talk to him now.

* * *

Katrina put the last plate in the dishwasher and put it on before wiping down the surfaces. Not that this kitchen needed any tidying. Like the guestroom, it was spotless and shiny, not to mention expensive. He wouldn't want her living here for too long, she'd make a mess.

She found some juice in the fridge and started opening the cupboards for a glass. Coffee would have gone down better but she didn't want anything that would keep her awake. She still couldn't believe he'd thrown out all the alcohol, but there was nothing she could do about that right now. As soon as the weather let up she was out of here anyway, so it didn't matter.

She opened a door and was about to close it when she saw what it contained. Pills. More precisely, very strong prescription pills. The type of stuff she used to include in her weekly drug concoction.

For a long moment she just looked at them. She didn't want to go down this road again, she really didn't. Hunter and Steph would be so disappointed with her. She'd already broken the rules with the other pills but these...they were a whole new ball game.

She closed the door and took a deep breath. Everything would be back to normal in a few more days if she stayed strong. The nightmares would go away, and she'd stop hearing George's voice everywhere.

Just a few more nights...

But how would she get through that without any alcohol?

Without stopping to think again she opened the door and took down a few bottles. Only a couple of the strongest would do. Just for tonight.

She opened one and spilt a few of the capsules into her palm. Then a few more.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

She twirled around quickly, spilling the contents of the bottle all over Randy's pristine tiled floor. The warmth that had been in his eyes over dinner was completely gone now, replaced by the coldness from earlier.

Shit. How was she supposed to explain this?

"I...I have a headache. I was looking for painkillers," she said.

She saw a muscle jump in his jaw.

"You told me you don't do pills."

She swallowed and looked away from the accusing gaze.

"I'm sorry. I'll clean it up," she said as she started to get down to her knees.

"Leave it," he growled.

She straightened and met his hard blue eyes again. There he went again, trying to boss her around. So she'd tried to take a couple of pills, big deal. He shouldn't have thrown out all of his alcohol.

A little voice told her she was being childish. She was in the wrong here and she had to take responsibility. But she told that voice to fuck off. She needed something tonight, damn it. Anything.

"Fine. I'm going to bed now. Thanks for the food."

She made to walk past him but his hand gripped her upper arm and forced her to stop.

"You're not going anywhere. You're going to talk to me."

"I don't have to_"

She didn't get to finish her sentence because Randy pulled her to him. She sucked her breath in when her chest squashed against his hard body for the second time that day.

"Yes. Yes, you do," he hissed.

And for the second time that day she was manhandled - half dragged, half carried to his sitting room.

It was a cosy room with leather couches, a glass and steel coffee table, bookshelves, a large flat screen TV mounted on one wall and a fire burning at the other side. But she didn't get a chance to take much of it in when Randy told her - no, ordered her to sit down.

"I get that things have been hard for you. But I'm going to tell you something right now, and I need you to listen good because I'm never going to say it again," he said.

His voice was so calm he could have been talking about something as mundane as the weather. But she could feel the anger rolling off him in waves.

"If I catch you doing that shit again you won't like what I'll do to you. Do you understand that?"

She swallowed as a ripple of fear ran down her spine. More shades of her past darkening her new life. She'd never seen Randy this angry before, and this was a man who was always angry about one thing or another.

"Do. You. Understand?"

She looked away from the angry gaze and nodded her head as she wrapped her arms around herself. From the corner of her eye she saw him move and looked up quickly.  
Then she looked away again. Randy didn't look angry anymore. He looked pale, and ill like he was about to lose his dinner.

"I'd sooner cut my hand off than lay it on you in anger," he said hoarsely.

She'd given herself away. Obviously she wasn't as ready to get over this latest episode as she'd thought she was.

"I know," she said quickly.

But he moved again and she couldn't quite stop herself from tensing. She closed her eyes and silently cursed herself.

"Look at me."

"Randy_"

"Please," he cut in with a whisper.

She opened her eyes and turned her head slightly. When she met his gaze he started walking to her, and she could tell his slow and careful pace was deliberate.

He knelt in front of her and she frowned, unsure of what he wanted to do. The last time he'd been in this position he'd told her he loved her and then kissed her.

"I'm not perfect," he said. "I'm far from it. I've done and said things I'm not proud of, some of them to you. I have...issues that I'm trying to work through. But no matter how angry or frustrated I get, I'd never hit you."

"I know. Just ignore me, I'm just...I'm not myself today."

"Or maybe you're more of yourself than you usually are."

She frowned and looked away.

"Talk to me, Katrina. Trust me."

Trust. That was asking for way more than she was willing to give right now.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You were stealing my pills. Last night you drank a whole bottle of whiskey. And the whole week you were jumping if I even breathed wrong."

"Drop it, Randy. I know I've been acting weird lately but you're wasting your time," she said. "I'm never going to talk. I do care about you, but once this storm passes I'm leaving and I don't want to see you again."

Her heart already hurt just thinking about it.

"You care about me but you'd rather run away than talk?"

"It's not running away. It's self preservation."

She leaned back in the chair and looked away from him.

"It's running away," Randy said firmly. "You're rather pop pills and drink alcohol than be with a man who loves you."

"You can't love me, not the real me, because you don't even know me."

"Then let me know you," Randy pleaded.

"You won't like me. _I_ don't like me. Some things are better off buried," she said sadly.

"Things don't stay buried for long, Katrina."

"They will if I keep my mouth shut."

She met his gaze as she said that. He had a frown on his face and his blue eyes were piercing into hers. She didn't flinch or look away. He had to know how serious she was.  
When he finally moved back and stood up she let out a breath of relief. She'd won. It was over.

He walked out of the room and she heard him going up the stairs. Maybe he'd stay up there to make things a little easier for both of them.

But before long she heard him coming down again and swore in frustration. She didn't want to fight anymore. She wanted everybody to leave her alone so she could lick her wounds in peace.

Randy walked back into the lounge, a purposeful look on his face. Maybe he _was_ going to kiss her, make her submit in other ways. She wasn't sure she could stop him if he tried. She wasn't sure she wanted to stop him.

But instead of dropping down to his knees and kissing her like she'd thought, he dropped something on the coffee table in front of her. A book.

Her lungs stopped working.

Her heart stopped beating.

Time stood still as she looked at the book in front of her.

"How are you going to bury that, Katrina?"

* * *

**Uh oh.**

**Thanks for your reviews. I hope you enjoyed reading this one, too. Love you all. **


	44. Chapter 44

**For sailormama.**

_**So sorry to hear about your accident. Missed you a lot around here. Rest up that hand and your back, just sit back and enjoy. I'll work on Sex On Fire next 'cause I know that gets you going :-)**_

**see-me-clarely,_ I hope you're not dead. I wrote as quick as I could :-)_**

* * *

Katrina hurtled through the long hallways of the huge house she had yet to become familiar with, throwing doors open in search of a bathroom.

She felt sick. Emotionally and physically sick.

Her worst nightmare had come true. Or rather, one more nightmare from a long list of nightmares had come true. And it was only a matter of time until the rest did, too.

She threw the last door along the hallway open and felt a rush of relief when she saw the porcelain toilet. Randy was feeling disgusted enough, the last thing she wanted to do was lose her food all over his floor.

She knelt over the bowl just in time and gripped the sides. Heaves and sobs wracked her body, sapped her strength until there was absolutely nothing left. Until she was just an empty shell of the woman she thought she had become.

Jeff finding out about Grace was unbearable but Randy? Her life was over. There was no coming back from this. There was no way she could put both Grace and Katrina behind her – not when Katrina had given her so much more than she'd ever thought she'd get from her life. Her heart hurt, a lot more than it had ever hurt when she'd lived her life as Grace. And she knew why. She hadn't loved anyone back then, not even herself, but now her life was bursting with people she had come to love and depend on. And now the one man she had fallen in love with knew most of the sordid details of her past and was probably feeling disgusted that his dick had gone anywhere near her. All this was her fault. She should never have believed she could lead a normal life. She should never have put any man in that position.

She should never have put _anyone_ in that position.

Another wave of nausea hit her as she thought about that. Hunter and Steph… Shane… _Jeff_… She should never have come into their lives. She'd known from the beginning that she was ruined beyond repair, that she'd only hurt all of them…

She had to go.

Her limbs felt heavy and alien as she struggled to her feet and flushed the toilet. Then she dragged her feet to the sink to rinse her mouth and wash her face. There was nothing she could do now but leave. They would all be better off.

She lifted her head to look in the mirror and let out a little sob. Randy was standing in the doorway. She looked away before she could read those beautiful blue eyes. She didn't want to see the anger or the pity. Or the disgust.

"I'll be out of your hair as soon as possible," she said as she put the towel back on the rail. She didn't care that there was a tremor in her voice that she would normally have hidden. "I just need to make some calls."

She turned around to walk out but had to stop when Randy didn't move out of the way. She kept her eyes on his chest. Her tears were too close to the surface to allow her to look into his eyes.

"I haven't read it," Randy said softly. His voice sounded hoarse. "And if you really don't want me to then I won't."

That didn't make a difference. He still knew what the book was about. And he had to be crazy if he thought she would believe he wouldn't read Amazing Grace if she told him not to.

"I can't talk to you right now, Randy. Please let me through."

Still, he didn't move.

"Look at me," he said.

She shook her head and folded her arms across her chest. She felt like it would burst if she didn't somehow contain it; like all the pain, the shame, the anger would rip out of her chest to lay bare at his feet. It was important now, more than ever to hold herself together, just so the last image Randy had of her wouldn't be of a completely broken, useless mess.

"Let's go back to the sitting room. We can_"

Before he finished talking the lights flickered then went out, throwing the whole house into darkness.

"Shit! Power cut," Randy said.

Under the cover of the dark she struggled to calm herself. She took a deep, shuddering breath and released it slowly. But she couldn't get herself under control. Fear of her unknown future washed through her, taking with it all her rational thoughts.

"But don't worry, I have a backup generator. It should kick in, in a few seconds," he continued.

It didn't. She'd never been more thankful in her life, because the tears she'd been struggling to hold back started flowing. And everything started hitting her all at once, tearing her apart from the inside out until all the good things Katrina had brought to her life lay in ashes at the bottom of her heart.

She was Grace. She was a junkie whore. A crack-head. She was nothing.

"Take my hand; I'll show you back to the sitting room and I'll go down to the basement to check the generator," Randy said.

And all she could think when his strong hand grasped hers in the dark and he started carefully leading her up the dark hallway was that she would miss this the most – the simple touch of someone who cared for her. But she had no place here. She had no place anywhere.

Randy was saying something but she didn't hear it. He helped her back into the seat she had just hastily vacated, close to the fire with the stupid book still on the table. Tears still running silently down her face she turned her head to watch Randy ruffle through a drawer and pull a flashlight out, and then say some more words as he left the room.

Then she turned back to the book.

And completely shattered. A million pieces of herself everywhere. Too many to ever be put back together. Too tiny for anyone to even bother.

With a sob she got up and grabbed the book. There was and never would be anything amazing about her life. She'd got out, but she would never really get out. Ever.

She threw the book into the fire and watched the flames engulf it; eat it up greedily until it slowly started to disappear. If only her life could be erased just as easily.

With another sob she turned away from the fire and walked out of the room into the darkened hallway. Then she turned towards the door.

It was only as she stood outside in her jeans and t-shirt, and with no shoes that she remembered the storm. And yet the turmoil around her was nothing compared to the turmoil inside. She hardly felt the numbing cold as she trudged forwards. She hardly felt the thick snowflakes hitting her face and body at warp speed. She hardly felt them start to melt as they hit her exposed arms, then as they trickled down them in icy, painful drops. And she didn't even notice when they stopped melting and started sticking. Her feet sank deeper into the snow; she hardly felt it start to numb toes. The wind blew strongly straight through her, knocking leaves and twigs and all sorts of debris into her along with the snow. She tripped and fell a couple of times. But she had to keep moving. She had to go.

This was her now. This was her life. She was Grace, and there was nothing anybody could do to change that.

* * *

Randy felt the cold hit him as he came back up from the basement and frowned. It had been nice and toasty a few minutes ago. But as soon as he got to the basement door at the top of the stairs he realised what was happening. His heart thudded loudly in his chest as he turned to the front door. It stood wide open, and the wind and snow were blowing in, chilling the whole house.

That could only mean one thing.

"Fuck!"

He grabbed a coat from the rail by the door and ran out into the unforgiving weather, making sure he shut the door. But it was dark and, even with his flashlight, he could hardly see beyond a few feet in front of him.

"Katrina!"

Did she even have a coat on? He'd been down in the basement for about five minutes before he'd realised he wouldn't get the generator up and running tonight. Katrina would have had enough time to go up to her room to grab her things, but had she? Something deep within him told him she hadn't.

"Katrina!"

He could hardly hear himself over the howling wind so he doubted Katrina would hear him. He kept calling anyway. With his heart pumping wildly he ran forward as fast as he could, his feet sinking into the thick snow. There had to be at least six inches already. Katrina wouldn't last long in this. Every minute she was exposed she was risking frostbite and hypothermia.

He swore when he ran into the rental he'd forgotten parked in the driveway and fell backwards. The snow melted through his slacks immediately, and the cold sipped through to his bones. He rushed to his feet and pulled the hood of his coat up to lessen the sharp sting on his face. There was no time to stop. He trudged around the car and carried on, calling urgently, wiping snow off his face, blowing it out of his nose. The stuff was falling thickly and swirling around him as he used his light to guide him to the end of the driveway. There at the top he saw a figure in the darkness, right at the entrance to his property. It was on the ground, unmoving in the snow. He moved faster, all the while praying it was Katrina and not a fallen tree; and that if it was Katrina, praying the reason she wasn't moving wasn't because she'd injured herself. He came to an abrupt stop just behind the figure, and relief flooded his body.

Katrina sat in the snow - almost sank in it - hugging her knees to her body as she looked towards the road.

"Kat!"

She shielded her eyes and looked up at him when he knelt next to her.

"I can't figure out which way to turn," she shouted above the wind.

And she sounded as if that was indeed her biggest concern, and not the fact that she wasn't dressed for this weather. Her teeth we chattering and snowflakes had stuck to her hair and eyelashes as well as all over her thin Hardy t-shirt.

He whipped his coat off and wrapped it around her, swearing aloud when the cold hit him like a million needles. Then he pulled her to her feet and picked her up bridal style. He moved carefully but quickly back up his driveway but all he could think was that she'd walked out in this with no coat. And no shoes. She had no shoes on_. She had no freaking shoes on._

It took him a few minutes to make his way back to the front door, and when he opened it, he set her down and turned around to lock it. Then he made sure she wasn't watching and put his alarm on. He shouldn't have worried, though. When he flashed the light on her face Katrina was still staring vacantly in front of her, her teeth clattering and her lips almost blue. Like she didn't even realise she could have died out there if by some awful chance he hadn't found her and she'd spent the whole night in a ditch somewhere.

He took the coat off her body and dusted off the little bit of snow still on her before he rushed her back into the sitting room. The fire cast a romantic, golden glow on everything, something he had looked forward to before but now seemed somehow vulgar in this situation. But the heat was very welcome. The warmth hit his body as he sat her on the couch furthest away from the fire. He didn't want to make her ill by shocking her body from one extreme to another. But he needed to raise her core temperature as quickly as possible.

He threw her a quick glance to make sure she wasn't going anywhere before he ran out of the room and took the stairs two at a time to her bedroom. The light from his flashlight cut through the dark, and his heart plummeted at the symbolism. Was this what life with Katrina would be like? Cutting though the darkness? Using a weak light to navigate?

Away from her, he drew in a long, rugged breath and bent over. Was this really happening? Was he really in this nightmare? What the fuck was he going to do? What the fuck _could_ he do?

It's not too late to run, Randall.

No. That wasn't an option. His heart lurched at the very thought of it.

Then we're completely fucked, the voice taunted again.

He shut his thoughts off and straightened. No, he wasn't fucked. Now wasn't the time to deal with that. He had to get her warm before hypothermia set in.

He moved almost mechanically around her room and found her bag. Socks, sweats, tops. He'd sort himself after he was sure she was okay. Or as okay as he could make her. On the way down he stopped by the linen closet and pulled down a couple of blankets and hot water bottles.

Katrina didn't say a word as he quickly pulled her t-shirt off and helped her into a dry hooded top. She didn't say a word when he stood her up and pulled the wet and cold jeans down her legs and helped her into her sweats. And he didn't think she even noticed when he pulled the soggy sock off her frozen feet to replace them with the thick, dry ones. He frowned as he finally put the blanket over her ice-cold body. She wasn't moving. In the soft light of the fire she looked dead. _Dead_. It brought out all kinds of nasty feelings deep inside him, but the most cutting was the gut-wrenching and very familiar helplessness.

There was a chance that this was a reaction to her exposure to the cold but he was almost certain all this was because of her past. She'd been in this zombie-like state before he'd gone down to the basement. He wanted to believe he could help her on his own, but this was a job for someone else. Someone qualified. Someone who wouldn't feel her pain as if it were they're own.

He thought about it as he ran back upstairs to his bedroom. He'd brought her here so he could ask his mother to help him out, but now he needed her to recommend a few people Katrina could talk to. Only the best in the field. Someone who'd fix her that he never had to see her so distraught again.

He changed quickly and ran back downstairs to the kitchen. Then he searched through his cupboards and found the old cast iron kettle he used whenever he got a chance to go camping. Without electricity all his appliances were useless, but if he had to, he'd cook for her over the fire. But what they needed now was hot water for the bottles and some hot drinks.

He filled the pot with water and set it on the counter before he gathered the rest of the things he needed. He was about to pick it all up when something crunched under his feet.

One of his morphine pills.

They had been prescribed to him when he had broken his clavicle early last year, he didn't know why he had kept the remaining pills. And now they were scattered all over his floor. That had happened less than a couple of hours before, yet he felt like he had aged a lot since then. He found his broom and took a minute to sweep them up as well as he could with the light he had. Then he threw them in the trash. Next to the trash can were the bags of empty alcohol bottles that he'd intended to take out to his recycling bin after the storm. He pointed the flashlight at them.

And it hit him all over again.

The feeling of helplessness, the same feeling he'd felt when he'd driven her away from Ottawa, from one of the men who'd assaulted her. It was brief but it slashed his heart all the same.

He looked away from the bottles and set his jaw. He could do this. He _would_ do it, even if all he could do was hold her hand while someone else did all the hard work.

But first things first. He found a rubbish bag and opened his medicine cabinet. He didn't think twice about throwing it all in, even the weak painkillers he used for minor pains. There was a cabinet upstairs that he kept locked, they would be safe there until he could dispose of them properly.

It took him only a moment to do that, and to make sure he locked the cabinet again. Just in case. Then he went back to the kitchen for the kettle and the tray where he'd put all the things he needed to make hot drinks. On his way out he paused and shone his light on his block of kitchen knives.

A strangled sound echoed through the dark kitchen; it took him a while to realise it had come from him.

Would Katrina try to kill herself? Would she grab one of his knives to end it all?

He knew she had tried to do it before. She was undeniably distressed right now; was it a possibility?

He would have to watch her every move until he was sure. And if it turned out he had every right to worry, he'd throw away every sharp object in his house.

With his mind made up, he rushed back to the sitting room with the water and tray. Katrina still hadn't moved a single muscle. His heart squeezed painfully in his chest as he looked at her tiny form under the blanket. Her lips weren't blue anymore and she didn't look so vacant, but he could tell she still wasn't here.

She couldn't even see what she'd done to him.

He set everything on the table, and then put the kettle on the fire. It wouldn't take long to boil so he could do the hot water bottles. He frowned as he watched the flames. Had she…? Yes. She had. He picked the poker up and stabbed at the remains of the book. He had meant what he'd said to her. Though earlier he'd been dead set on reading it if she didn't tell him about it herself, he'd seen the damage just the thought of him having read it had done to her. He didn't want to do that to her again.

He let out a weary breath as he turned away from the fire place to lay a blanket and a couple of cushions on the carpeted floor. Close enough to the fire to be a little warmer but not too close that they would overheat. Then he walked over to Katrina again.

The woman who'd both saved him and possibly condemned him.

The woman who'd just made him realise he would give anything to take this pain from her.

Carefully, he picked her up and laid her on the blanket. Then he took his position behind her under her blanket and pulled her as close to him as he could without hurting her. Her head rested on his arm, her bottom nestled perfectly against his groin as it had always done, and his other arm circled her body just under her breasts. It was a position he'd always enjoyed, mostly because it was dominant and allowed him to pretend he had all the control.

And right now, he needed to pretend that as much as possible.

He burrowed his face in her hair and touched the icy skin at the back of her neck with his lips. Then he let his eyes rest on the flames again as they danced under the kettle he was waiting for.

"I'm here," he whispered. "We'll get through this. You'll see."

* * *

**So Randy's finally grasping just how bad the situation is. Poor guy.**

**Thank you **_**Bingobaby, Randy4rkocenahardy, Agnesita1385, sailormama, Kris21xX, RKOlover4life, see-me-clarely, LegacyChick, Care4U, tophersmommy06, BJ and Guests **_**for your reviews. Much appreciated. **

**Kisses.**


	45. Chapter 45

**Sorry for the long wait. I'd promised to update SOF first, which I did a week or two ago. I hope you enjoy this update.**

**Song credit: Jason Mraz, I Won't Give Up **

* * *

Randy rolled over and reached for Katrina. It felt nice waking up to her like this, something he had never allowed when they had been together. But all he felt were hot water bottles and an empty space.

In a breath it all came crashing back into him.

He opened his eyes and saw just the tangled blankets where Katrina should have been. And his heart started the loud hammering it had done from the moment he'd run out into the storm for her.

He bolted up and looked around the room, and his heart calmed when his gaze met the sad grey eyes that had filled his dreams whenever he had managed to doze off last night. She said nothing. She was sitting on the couch furthest from him, hugging her knees and despair hung heavy on her shoulders.

The sooner he got her on the road to recovery the better.

He broke the gaze to look out of the window. It seemed the storm had passed, and the sun was out, shining on the thick, white blanket that covered everything. It was a beautiful day, he hoped it was a sign of things to come – that the storm had really passed and Katrina would be willing to talk. They would probably be stuck here until the roads were cleared, so she had to say something, didn't she? Then they would have to make the drive to his family home to see his mother. This wasn't something he could ask her over the phone.

The fire had died down during the night, but its embers still glowed. He'd have to start it back up again to keep the pot there for hot drinks until the electricity was back. And he'd have to hunt down his camping stove, too, to get breakfast going.

He stood up and stretched, his gaze on Katrina the whole time. She didn't look away even though he could see dread in her eyes.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she replied.

Would she go back to flinching every time he went near her? He took a breath and walked towards her. Everything about her begged him to keep away. As if.

"You been up long?"

"About an hour."

He sat next to her, as close as he could get without making it too obvious that he didn't really want her further than his arm's length for a while. She didn't flinch but she looked away.

"Are you hungry?"

"No," she said. "Look... I'm sorry about last night. I just... I guess I panicked. I'm okay now."

"No. You're not."

"I… I will be. I just need to go home and rest," she muttered.

"You mean you need to go home and pretend none of this happened," he guessed.

She didn't say anything to dispute that. He sighed and rubbed his face. Maybe the storm hadn't passed after all.

"So how well has that worked out for you? I mean, you've obviously been burying this for a long time. You were a nervous wreck when I drove you away from Ottawa, and last night - after drowning yourself in alcohol and stealing my pills - you tried to freeze yourself to death_"

"Nobody asked you to stick around," Kat snapped.

That was more like it. A bit of fire. A bit of attitude. At least she wasn't acting like the zombie from last night.

"You're right. Nobody asked me to. _I_ chose to do it."

"Well, you can choose to do something else. I'm going home today."

"I'm sure Hunter will be thrilled to know about last night_"

"Are you blackmailing me?" Kat asked, finally turning her head back round to face him.

Her eyes were spitting fire at him. It was a lot better than seeing the hopeless pits of last night.

"Maybe," he answered.

He wouldn't do anything that wasn't in her best interests, but he wasn't above using a bit of…_persuasion_ to get this show on the road.

"Leave him out of this," she bit out. "Thank you for bringing me back in last night, thank you for this whole week, but you need to stay the fuck out of my shit. I'll be gone as soon as I can, so don't worry. I won't contaminate you or your house for much longer. I'll even send some cleaners over when I'm gone."

"What? What do you mean by that?"

The anger drained from her eyes and she looked away from him again.

"Nothing," she mumbled.

He frowned. If she thought he needed to decontaminate everything then maybe that was the whole reason she was pushing him away. Last night, when he'd followed her to the bathroom she hadn't been able to look him in the eyes. Like she'd been ashamed. But she had done nothing wrong!

"I'm not put off. Not even a little bit," he said.

"You should be."

"But I'm not. The thought never even crossed my mind. None of the things that happened to you were your fault. Even if you'd actually chosen that lifestyle, I wouldn't have any right to judge because before you I was far from celibate. Besides, when you were with me, you were with _only_ me. Though I got jealous of you and Jeff sometimes, I knew you didn't lie to me about that."

He watched her pick some imaginary lint off her sweats. What did he have to say to make her believe he meant what he said?

"Katrina, here's the truth. I'm not going to stop wanting you because of your past. It's heart breaking… _dreadful_ – and will haunt you your whole life – but it's still your past. What we had was beautiful; I'm not going to let what your mother and those men did ruin that. I'm not disgusted. I don't feel, in any way, unclean. If that's the reason you don't want to be with me then please believe me."

Perhaps it made him a little selfish – ignoring everything else just because the thought of being without her sickened him. Or perhaps it just made him insane. But what if she didn't feel as strongly as he did? What if all he had done here was just back her up into a corner until he heard the answer he wanted?

Still, he wanted to know.

"Is it the reason?"

She remained silent. His heart cracked a little. He looked away from her and played with imaginary lint of his own. Shit. If it wasn't her past keeping her from him then it was… him. He hadn't done enough to prove that he wasn't the jerk he'd been when they had been together. Maybe she was remembering the hurtful things he'd said to her, or the many times he'd lost control and ravished her without any second thoughts. That she had the power to make him lose his head like that had scared _him_, so she must have been terrified. Maybe those rough nights had taken her back to her childhood… _Shit!_ Now he was obviously destined to share Jeff's fate.

"I'm… I need to call someone to fix my generator," he said.

He got to his feet quickly and walked to the door. Broken by a tiny woman. After all the shit he'd gone through all his life he'd never have thought that would happen.

"You're only saying all this because you don't know what I've been through," she said softly.

He stopped at the door and looked at her.

"Then tell me. If you're set on breaking my heart anyway at least tell me why."

She met his gaze. He felt a little hope flare in him but it was extinguished immediately when she gave an imperceptible shake of her head. He turned away and swallowed. It hadn't felt this bad the first time she had finished with him.

"I'm going to start breakfast," he mumbled, walking out of the room.

* * *

Katrina let her tears fall when she heard his footsteps going up the stairs. The look on his face when he'd walked out had hurt her more than she'd thought it would. But couldn't he see? Once he knew he couldn't _un-_know it. There was no taking this back, no ignoring it.

The person he wanted to know… Grace… jumped at shadows and sat in corners all day biting her finger nails. She didn't trust anyone. She didn't eat or sleep – images of men using her body filled every second of everyday. What she had done last night… that was nothing compared to the shit she had already put Hunter and Steph through. That was no life for anyone. It was no life to force on anyone else, either.

Randy probably meant everything he said now. But once he knew…

She wiped her tears and hugged her knees to her again. It was her fault for wanting what she couldn't have. She should never have started sleeping with him.

But what if he didn't walk away?

What if, after she told him everything, he stayed? Like Hunter. If there was a chance, shouldn't she take it?

Her phone vibrated on the arm of the couch where she had put it. Another call from Jeff. Another reason why telling Randy would be a bad idea. If he stayed, she would never know for sure why.

She let it ring through to her voicemail and put her head down on her knees. Fuck. Why did everything have to hurt so much?

* * *

The electricity came back on just as Randy was finishing off the eggs and bacon on the camping stove. Rather than go back into the sitting room to make the coffee with the hot water from the fire, he put the coffee machine on. He didn't really feel like being with Katrina for too long right now. He felt too raw; like he was being slowly ripped to shreds.

He popped some bread in the toaster and walked to the dining room to set a place for her. Breakfast for one. Just the way she wanted it. It was funny how he'd thought watching Katrina last night would be the worst thing he'd ever experience. This… This just wrecked him completely.

When everything was ready he walked into the sitting room. She was exactly where he had left her, with her head down.

"Your breakfast is on the table."

She didn't look up but he heard a muffled, "Thank you."

She was crying, she could tell by her voice. And like all the other times he'd seen her hurting lately all he wanted to do was make her feel better.

But she didn't want that. She didn't want him.

He turned away to walk out again.

"It's in the dining room. I've still got things to do so I'm afraid you'll have to eat alone."

He felt like a dick for lying but he needed time away from her to clear his head a little. And the basement was about as far as he could go right now.

As soon as he had bought the house he'd transformed the large space into a gym with a practice ring in the middle. And at one end of the room he'd set up some comfortable couches, a coffee table and a TV. He set his breakfast down on the table and found a news channel. Pictures and videos of the storm filled the screen and for a moment made him forget about the woman upstairs. But only a moment.

He'd upturned his whole life for her. Standing up to his father had been a long time coming but he probably wouldn't have done it now if it wasn't for Katrina. Now he was just supposed to sit here with nothing? No Katrina and no father?

He shuffled the food around on his plate, a frown on his face. Why was he just rolling over for her? He'd known from the beginning, way before he'd known anything of her past, that it would be hard to get her back. He shouldn't give up just like that. He wouldn't.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled down to his mother's number. Katrina would probably hate him for this intrusion but maybe one day she would see he was only trying to help.

"Hi, Randy," his mother said. "I was just about to call you. Have you heard about the storm?"

He'd forgotten he hadn't told anyone he was home.

"Um… yeah. Are you guys alright?"

"We're fine. A tree fell over your dad's shed and we're a bit snowed in. But Ethan and your dad are shovelling right now. Have you had a chance to watch the news? We didn't expect the storm to get that bad."

"Have you spoken to Emily and Craig? They're not snowed in too, are they?"

"They're fine but your dad is going to go over to make sure. He thinks his first grandchild will be born with no medical assistance," Elizabeth said. "Ethan and I will drive over to your house when we can to see if there's any damage. You probably won't be able to get home for a day or so, all the flights are still grounded and I think right now they've only cleared the main roads."

"I… I'm home right now," he admitted. "I came back Sunday evening."

"You've been home for two days? What happened, Randy?"

He scratched the back of his head. How could he put this across delicately?

"I'm with Katrina."

"Oh. You took some time off to spend with your girlfriend? Must be serious," Elizabeth teased.

"It's not like that. I need your help," he said, then let out a breath before adding, "I'm out of my depth here. I can't... I can't reach her."

There was silence on the other end for a moment.

"Okay. Tell me what you need me to do."

"I need the name and number of the best therapist you know… one who specialises in treating rape victims and... stuff like that."

"Oh, honey… Is she okay?"

He ignored that question. Katrina would probably not be okay for a very long time, if ever.

"I could have searched the 'net, but I want someone you know and trust. A woman."

"I will get on that straight away and call you back," his mother said softly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He hadn't expected that offer. Though he always wished his family communicated more, now wasn't really the day he wanted to start that.

"No. Maybe another time."

"Okay. I'm here if you do."

"Thanks, Mum. I've got to go. I'll talk to you later," he said as he stood up and switched the television off.

He left his hardly touched breakfast and walked across the floor to the stairs. This was it. He would beg if he had to; there was no way he was going to let Katrina walk out of his life.

She wasn't in the dining room; she hadn't even touched her food. He found her in exactly the same spot, in the same position, and it looked like she was still crying. The muffled sobs just about killed him. He wanted to share the burden. To lighten her heavy load. It was like he was a different person altogether when he was with her. He'd never wished to share anyone's problems before; he actually always ran the other way. And he was pretty sure, if anybody came to him now with a pile of shit, he wouldn't want to hear it. But Katrina… He'd take all her problems if he could.

He walked over to his stereo and looked through his discs until he found the one he wanted. Something that would say everything he wanted to say. Katrina was big on music. Maybe it would be better this way.

He pressed play and turned around to face her. When the soft notes started playing, Katrina's shoulders tensed up, probably because she realised she wasn't alone anymore.

_When I look into your eyes  
It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise  
Well, there's so much they hold.  
And just like them old stars  
I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are.  
How old is your soul?_

Katrina lifted her head, and swiped at her tears. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and full of so much pain. She was a million times removed from the control freak who'd taken him to the heavens and back so many times; a million reasons for him to walk away. But he wouldn't do that. Not over this.

_Well, I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up._

She didn't break his gaze. Was she listening to the lyrics? It was like he had written them for her himself.

_And when you're needing your space  
To do some navigating  
I'll be here patiently waiting  
To see what you find._

'Cause even the stars they burn  
Some even fall to the earth  
We've got a lot to learn  
God knows we're worth it  
No, I won't give up.

Tears started falling silently down her cheeks, but still she didn't look away from him. He felt his eyes water but he blinked. He planned on being her rock. The strong one. Damned if he was going to let her see a single tear on his face.

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make.  
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use  
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake.  
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend  
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn.  
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in.  
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am  
_  
He walked slowly towards her and took the seat he had vacated earlier. This time he drew his knee up on the cushion between them so his whole body was facing her. Tentatively, he lifted his hand to her face and gently wiped the falling tears.

'It's not easy for me to talk about," Katrina whispered.

He dropped his hand to hers on her knees, effectively stopping the nervous lint-picking.

"I know. It's hard for me to talk about my life, too. All that stuff I've texted to you... Well, you're the only one I've told. It got easier with each message because I realised that if I wanted you to trust me I had to show you that I trust you too."

"You trust me?"

"I have to. Right now you've got my heart in your hands."

And she was slowly crushing it.

Katrina pushed his hand away and hugged her knees again. The silence stretched as the last notes played on the stereo.

"Katrina," he whispered on a breath.

This moment…this waiting for even the merest hint of trust felt even worse than last night. If he couldn't get her to open up to him just a little then he had to face the very real possibility that once she walked out of his door he would never see her again.

He wanted to show her that she could lean on him, but what chance did he have if the very thought of a broken heart was destroying him like this?

Finally she turned her face to him. Her beautiful eyes were filled with unshed tears. With uncertainty. No matter how long it took, he would earn her trust again. She wouldn't have a reason to doubt his words anymore.

"I'm not walking away. We've known each other less than a year so I understand why you're scared, why you can't trust me. I'm scared, too. I've been scared from the moment I met you because I knew... I knew straight away that you could make me or break me. But I couldn't run away then and I'm even less inclined to now."

"You don't know what it will be like."

"I know perfectly well. I was there last night, remember? Seeing you like that broke my heart but you know what? Walking away would destroy me"

The tears finally escaped and trailed down her cheeks again. She bit her lip and looked away from him. Jason Mraz was still wailing softly in the background.

He took a chance and reached for one of her hands again, almost sighing in relief when she offered no resistance. For a moment he studied their laced fingers. Would she grant him the right to hold her hand like this whenever he wanted? Even after everything they had done sexually, this felt unbelievably intimate. He hadn't felt this happy to hold a girl's hand in a long time. It was like first grade all over again.

"I said I wouldn't say it again until you were ready. I think you're ready," he said softly. "In spite of all the horrendous things you have survived through, I'm in love with you Katrina. You don't have to deal with this alone. Let me help you."

Her fingers tightened around his and a sob escaped her lips.

"You can't. Nobody can. I'm damaged, Randy. It wouldn't be fair to you, and it wouldn't be fair to me. You can't ask me to trust you, to depend on you, then walk away when it gets too much for you. Because it will. And you will. And I... I don't think I would survive that."

Because she _did_ feel the same way about him?

"I don't know what the future holds. I don't know how you'll feel about me in a few years or months...or how you feel about me right now, actually. And you're right, I can't know how I'll feel either, so I can't promise you rainbows, unicorns and all that shit. But that's the reality of any relationship," he shrugged. "I'm not exactly the easiest person to get along with so you'll probably walk away from me. It's a risk in willing to take if it means I get to share your life. To give you some measure of comfort, like I feel when I'm with you."

More silence. He absently rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb as he came to a decision. The song had already said it, but he had to confirm. He'd be patient.

"I'll wait for you. No matter how long it takes," he promised.

Katrina met his gaze with a little frown.

"I want to be whatever you need me to be so you can get past this. Even if all you need is a friend."

She snorted.

"You think we can be friends?"

"I don't have many of those, but the few I _do_ have will tell you that I'm actually pretty good at it," he answered with a little smile.

"You wouldn't last a day in my world."

"Let me try."

She sighed and determinedly held his gaze. Something had changed, he could feel it.

"Okay. I'll tell you."

Relief flooded through him. He had a chance, and that's all he'd asked for.

"But when you know it all, you _will_ walk away," she continued. "And I'll completely understand. I don't want you to feel obligated to stay just because you've already told me you love me."

"I've already said_"

"Promise me."

He held her gaze for a moment then brought her hand to his lips. He felt the slight tremble as he put his lips against her warm skin.

"Okay. If I feel it's too much for me, I will walk away. I promise."


End file.
